You And Me And Our Boys Chapter 35, a sons of anarchy fanfic

Jax isn't entirely sure what exactly brought him back to this particular place. He must've passed at least a handful of bars on this random drive around town, but still ended up back here somehow, at Old Joe's Tavern. The scene of the crime!

But as he steps further into the smoke-filled bar, and lets his eyes wander around the place, he knows that deep down he'd hoped to meet that scumbag that insulted her months ago. Because there is nothing like beating some shithead to a pulp to let off some much-needed steam, with the exception of sex, of course.

To his dismay, Charlie wasn't here, or at least he couldn't see him, and neither was Frank, the barkeeper from that night, not that that mattered either.

So Jax takes a seat at the bar, lights a cigarette, and orders a beer, already regretting having picked this place the more he looks around. It is just too fucking noisy in here, too loud to even hear yourself think, but then again, maybe it is better if he pushes the thinking back a bit until he isn't this pissed off anymore.

But then, as the nicotine and the second beer slowly begin to do some of their magic, he manages to drown out the people and the music that is playing way too loud, too. And he begins to think. Thinking and wondering to himself why he had flown off the handle like he had, and left her behind in that apartment, probably worried, or pissed, or both. She doesn't deserve that. Especially not from him.

Tara isn't the problem here, not really. She never cheated on him before, and he knows she isn't going to start now that they are actually trying to work their shit out. In the end, she wants the same thing he does, be a family again, raise them boys, and grow old together. Tara wants all that happily-ever-after shit, and as crazy as it sounds, she's wanted that since they first started dating at sixteen.

His whole issue with this out-of-town trip is John. When Tara told him over two months ago that she broke things off, he'd been elated, and had barely given that guy another thought since he assumed John was out of the picture. But come to find out he's working at the same goddamn place as her, day in and day out. And yes, his specialty is neurology, and she works in neonatal-perinatal medicine, but it still eats at him that the fucker probably sees her at least once a day if not more ... and now he'll get to be around her for five fucking days and nights, putting God knows what kind of ideas in her head.

Just then someone brings him out of his thoughts.

"Is this seat taken?" A woman in her early thirties asks, she's got long brown hair, and bright red lipstick, giving him the eye.

Jax shakes his head, "No, it's not."

"Thanks." She answers, and settles into the barstool beside him, putting her black clutch onto the bar in front of her. With her eyes trained on the barkeeper, she waves her hand at him, trying to get his attention, and when she finally does, she quickly orders a drink.

Jax lights another cigarette, finishes off the rest of his beer, and nods at the barkeeper too, ordering another one, before he even notices her eyes on him.

"Can I borrow a light?" She asks, cigarette already in hand, which she quickly raises to her lips once Jax holds out his lighter to light it for her. "Thanks." She answers, before taking in another drag. She eyes him some more, before she asks, "So what brings you here tonight?"

Jax gives her a side glance, before he exhales a stream of smoke, and answers sarcastically, "Needed some peace and quiet."

She laughs at the obvious joke, "Well, you definitely landed in the wrong place then." A beat or two passes, her eyes still on him, while Jax plays absentmindedly with his lighter, his cigarette hanging from his lip. "Aren't you gonna ask me?"

Jax raises his eyebrows at her in confusion for a minute, before he catches on to what she is saying, "What brings you here?"

At that, she smiles, glad that he is playing along. She takes a long drag of her cigarette, dragging out the answer, and enjoying having his undivided attention at the moment, "I guess I'm here, 'cause I'm looking to have a little fun tonight."

He's been too wrapped up in his head with this shit about Tara and that John guy, that it just now dawns on him that this chick is not just flirting a little, but she is coming on to him ... strong.

"Shit, you're not into wasting time, are you?" Jax says with a chuckle. "Sorry, but I'm not the guy for that." He tries to set her straight right off the bat, there is really no need to drag this out any longer. She looks beautiful, and the bar is full of guys who would probably love to take her up on whatever fun she has in mind.

"Really? Who doesn't like having some fun?" She asks, her eyes meeting his as she leans in a little more toward him, and places her hand over his on top of the bar. "You look like the right guy to me." She teases, giving him her best seductive smile.

But Jax pulls his hand out from under hers, and raises it just enough to show off his wedding band. "I'm married." He says, his voice stern, no longer chuckling at her flirtatious act.

She raises her left hand just the same, showing off her sparkling diamond ring, "So am I. And yet we both are here, in this bar, alone ... on a weeknight at that." She adds to drive home her point.

"Look, whatever made you sit down next to me and strike up this conversation, it's not going to happen, darlin'. You're just wasting your time and your breath on me." Jax replies without missing a beat, he turns toward her just a little, to better meet her eyes. "I'm happily married. Just here to have a couple drinks, and then gonna leave this bar alone and head back home to my smoking-hot wife."

But she is relentless, and smiles once more at him, "There's plenty of fun to be had without ever leaving this bar, handsome." She croons, and winks at him playfully.

"He's not interested. He made that pretty clear, so how about you take the fucking hint." Tara's voice booms angrily over the loud music as she comes to a standstill right next to Jax, who is staring at her with a mixture of pride and guilt in his eyes.

"Who the fuck are you? And how is this any of your business?" Asks the pretty brunette, giving Tara a scrutinizing look, from her head down to her high heels.

"I'm his wife, so it's my fucking business," Tara replies faster than Jax can put in his two cents, and the look in her eyes lets the other woman know she is beyond pissed off.

Jax can't be sure if it was Tara's words or the I-will-kill-you-look in her eyes that does the trick, but the woman finally takes the hint, stubs out her cigarette in the ashtray, grabs her clutch and her drink, and slides off of the barstool without another word or another look at Jax nor Tara.

Tara scoffs, sounding angry when she directs her next words at him, "Guess things don't change, the slutty ones still gravitate to you like some goddamn moths to the fucking flame." Then she spins around on her heels and heads back for the door, ignoring Jax yelling after her.

"Tara ... Babe, wait." Jax calls, before he quickly throws some cash on the bar to cover his tab and hurries after her. "Tara."

But Tara just slips out the door and Jax is just about to follow too when his eyes land on Charlie at the other end of the bar, throwing darts with his fucking buddies. But as much as he wanted to go a round or two with that asshole earlier tonight, now is no longer the time. He's got a pissed-off wife to catch up with.

He catches up with Tara just as she is opening the door to her car, which she parked right across the street from the bar.

"Tara." He says again as he is just a few feet from her, "Where are you going?"

Now she finally stops long enough to look up at him, "Home, Jax. Now that I know you're not here to get laid, I'm going back home." The tone in her voice is flat, leaving him clueless about just how she is feeling, but her eyes give it away.

The street is dark, except for what little light the neon signs above the bar entrance emit, along with the poorly working streetlights scattered here and there, but still, he can see the flash of anger in her eyes as clear as day at the moment. "Jesus, Babe, you really thought I'd be that fucking stupid? After everything, you think I'd do that to you again?"

Tara stills her hand on the car door, looking down toward the ground and averting her eyes, "I don't know what to think anymore, Jax, not when everything is going good between us, and then you just leave like you did tonight." He can hear the emotions in the sound of her voice now, and they aren't pretty.

"I'm sorry." He says apologetically, and finally rounds the car to her side, "And I know I'm hard to love ... I know I don't make it easy when I act like this." He tips her chin up now, forcing her to look up at him. "But I'd never hurt you like that again. Never, Babe, I promise."

Their eyes remain locked on each other for a long silent moment, before Jax finally speaks again. "You believe me, don't you?"

"I'm trying to." She answers as honestly as she can.

Jax frames her face and kisses her lips, soft and sweet, before he rests his forehead against hers. "I'm sorry I stormed out, alright? Can we just go somewhere ... and talk?"

"Now you wanna talk?" Tara asks rather snarky in return, knowing full well she is not making any of this easy on him.

"I do." He nods, and pulls away enough to look her in the eyes again, "I'm guessing Mrs. Ellie's staying with the boys." He wraps his arms around her waist, locking his hands behind her back.

Tara nods, "Yeah."

"Then let's go do something. Let's go somewhere quiet, where we can talk." He says with way too much enthusiasm that is necessary, but Tara knows he is just trying to sound more optimistic than before he stormed out earlier. "Come on, Babe?"

"Okay." Tara nods again.

"Alright, let's drop your car off at home, and then we go someplace, alone." He confirms again, still seeing the reluctance in her eyes, but she nods again.

"I'll see you at home." And with that, Jax lets go of her long enough so she can get into her car, he closes the door for her, before he jogs back across the street to his parked truck, and takes off right after her.

They find another little bar on the other side of town, closer to the apartment actually, and it is a much nicer and more relaxed atmosphere altogether. The music playing is picked by the guests via a jukebox that is hooked up to different speakers across the place, but it isn't loud and obnoxious like Old Joe's Tavern was.

The place isn't packed at all, and Jax and Tara settle at a little round table with just two chairs, off in the corner, having virtually no one close enough to even hear what they are talking about.

"I didn't do anything to deserve the way you acted." Tara finally jumps right into the conversation they came here to have. "I knew you wouldn't be happy when I told you, I expected that, but I didn't expect you to run off like you did. This conference, it's part of my job., and as far as John goes, I have no interest in him whatsoever, Jax. If I wanted to be with him, I would still be with him."

"But he's still very much interested in you." Jax counters. "I saw the way he looked at you, and the shit he said to piss me off. He made it pretty fucking clear that he still wants to be with you."

"So?" Tara throws back, "I've lost count of how many girls tried to get with you while we were together. So should I hold their actions over your head? Should I be pissed at you for how someone else feels about you? Something you have absolutely no control over?"

"No, of course not," Jax replies quickly, and shakes his head along to his words. "I trust you completely, Babe. I just don't fucking trust him."

"I know this is going to sound like I'm defending him, but I swear, up until that day of my appointment, and him meeting you, he didn't act like he was still interested in me. I know what he said and how he acted, and how that came across to you, but I swear, baby, that was the first time since our break up that he made it seem like he still cared. I honestly don't know what's going on with him. The way he acted around you isn't like him."

"You're right, it sounds like you're defending him." Jax quips back, clearly agitated.

A long moment of silence stretches out between them, while they both nurse their beers.

"Okay." Tara suddenly concedes, and lets out a deep breath, "Let's just pretend for the sake of this conversation that he is still interested in me. Now what? You're gonna be mad at me because I gotta go to this conference? I mean, what do you want me to do, Jax?" She searches his face for answers, watching him take another swig from his Miller Lite.

He puts the beer down on the table between them, and swipes his hand down his face in an obvious display of frustration. "I'm not gonna be mad, alright? I guess ... I guess I'm just not used to having competition for you, at least not of this kind."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Tara looks at him puzzled.

Jax lights up another smoke, and leans back in his chair a little more comfortably, trying to appear more at ease when he is actually more on edge now that he is about to spill his guts to her. He takes a long drag, letting the smoke escape through his nostrils first, then the remainder through his mouth, "It's like goddamn Hale back in High School all over again."

"Oh, my God." Tara sighs in utter frustration. She can't believe they are having this conversation again after all these years. "I was never interested in David that way. And you know that, Jax." This is so ridiculous.

"Yeah." Jax nods, "But I do remember how everyone thought you should've been interested in him, like he was in you. The fucking looks we got, wondering why this perfect all-American girl would pick the white-trash-biker-boy over the star quarterback of Charming High, with the fucking scholarship options to play for almost any school of his choosing."

"Oh, you mean that same scholarship he lost when he busted his knee? And then ended up back in Charming with the rest of us." Tara corrects the turn of events with a heavy dose of sarcasm in her voice, having a hard time refraining from rolling her eyes at him at this point. "And let's not forget where he is now."

"My point is, everyone always saw you with me, and wondered, what the fuck is she doing with him?"

"That's not true." Tara shakes her head, because that truly isn't how she remembers it.

"Like hell, it's not." Jax scoffs in response, and then adds. "At least back then in Charming, I eventually prospected, and patched in, and I became someone. I became SAMCRO, and the looks we got finally changed."

"Yes, and you had to wear that kutte everywhere we went, because you couldn't let anyone forget even for a second that you were the heir to the SAMCRO throne. So you wore the kutte, because it was your calling, while everyone else merely had a job." Tara adds angrily, thinking back herself now before she poses the next question, "But what does any of that have to do with John?"

"It has to do with John, because I'm right back there again. You've got this smart, rich, good-looking hot-shot surgeon chasing after you. And here I am, … just some fucking mechanic." He averts his eyes, staring off into the distance of the bar, taking another drag from his smoke. "Do you really think I don't know you can do so much better than me, Babe?" There, it is out, the truth about his ugly insecurities he's been struggling with ever since he met Dr. John Seward!

Tara is stunned speechless. Confused. Never in a million years did she suspect that Jax would feel insecure about himself ... ever. He is the most arrogant and cocky man she's ever known, and this is so utterly unlike him, so out of character, that for a moment, she doesn't even know what to say. It simply seems so surreal.

"Jax." She finally says trying to get his attention, but he still won't look at her. "I'm sorry if I'm not the kind of old lady you were hoping for."

At that, he suddenly looks over at her, confusion in his eyes now as he tries to understand what she means by that. But before he can ask, Tara rambles on.

"I have my own career. I make my own money. So I don't need his or yours for that matter. I don't care that you're just a mechanic ... As a matter of fact, I prefer you being just that if it means you're no longer SAMCRO. And as far as John goes, I don't love him. It's as simple as that." Tara stands from her chair, and rounds the small table with just a few steps.

Jax watches her from his seat, looking up at her as she stands between his legs looking back down at him for a long silent moment. Then she makes herself comfortable sitting on his lap, curling her arms around his neck, and leans her forehead against his when Jax wraps his arms around her too.

Tara finally breaks the silence when she quietly says, "I'm not going to be dating anyone else for the rest of my life. I'm not going to love anyone else for the rest of my life. And aside from becoming the mother of your children, the most important moment for me was when I became your wife, Jackson. You and our boys are everything I've always wanted. After everything we've been through to get here, don't you realize how much I love you?"

He can't deny how much her declaration of love still makes him feel to this day. He doesn't deserve her. She can do so much better than him, but hell will freeze over if he'll ever let her slip through his fingers again. She is his, and he'll never let her go again! Never!

"I love you too, Babe," Jax replies, and after another long silent minute of looking into each other's eyes, he finally leans in and kisses her. Long, and hard, and passionate.

Eventually, the kiss lets up, and they just sit happily and content wrapped up in one another for a little while, sharing another cigarette, before Jax realizes that the music stopped playing altogether, and his eyes drift over to the wall where the Jukebox stands.

He pats Tara's hip playfully and says. "Get up for a sec." And when she does, he quickly stands, and walks over to the machine, his cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth as he looks over the selection of songs for a few minutes.

He pulls some change from his pocket and feeds it to the machine, making his selection, and turns around, looking back at her, and smiles when he curls his finger repeatedly for her to come on over to him.

They meet halfway when the song starts playing, and Tara once more wraps her arms around his neck, while he wraps his arms around her back, holding her close as they begin to sway in rhythm to the music.

So far all you can hear is the instrumental part, the singing hasn't started yet, but Tara recognizes the song and lifts her head off of his shoulder just long enough to look back up at him, and says, "Good choice, Teller."

Jax smirks as he moves them to the nearest table so he can stub out his cigarette, and says, "Yeah, I thought so too."

When the road gets dark

And you can no longer see

Just let my love throw a spark

And have a little faith in me

And when the tears you cry

Are all you can believe

Just give these loving arms a try, baby

And have a little faith in me

When your secret heart

Cannot speak so easily

Come here, darlin'

From a whisper start

To have a little faith in me

And when your back's against the wall

Just turn around, and you, you will see

I will catch you, I will catch your fall, baby

Just have a little faith in me

And have a little faith in me

Have a little faith in me

Well, I've been loving you for such a long time, girl

Expecting nothing in return

Just for you to have a little faith in me

You see time, time is our friend

'Cause for us there is no end

And all you gotta do is have a little faith in me

I says I will hold you up, I will hold you up

Your love gives me strength enough

So have a little faith in me

The next day Jax shows up unannounced at the hospital during his lunch break, but instead of looking for Tara, he heads to the Neurology floor again, in search of John.

He simply can't stand the thought of this guy getting to make time with his wife, and even though he knows that Tara wouldn't approve, he just gotta get some stuff off his chest.

After a few very insistent words with the receptionist, and a phone call from her to John, the man actually shows up, and allows Jax to follow him into his office so they can talk, man-to-man.

"So what's this about?" John asks, and settles into his leather chair behind his desk.

This far, Jax has been more than civil since he arrived here, mostly because he wanted to get his foot in the door, but now that the bastard is looking all smug back at him from the other side of his desk, it takes all his willpower to not reach across, and strangle him.

But Jax bites back the anger surging through him as best he can, "It's about you trying to get with my wife."

John looks surprised, although not really surprised at the subject itself, but more about the fact Jax is here to talk to him about this.

"Does Tara know you're here?" John asks in response to what Jax said.

"No, and she really doesn't need to. I'm just here to tell you to back the fuck off." Jax says through clenched teeth now. Even he can't explain why this guy has such a deep impact on him, especially after everything Tara said to him just last night.

"Tara and I have been broken up for a while now. Pretty much since the weekend you showed up in town. So I'm not sure what your problem is?" John says in a calm and even voice, so unlike Jax's voice from just a few seconds ago.

"Look, you go on and pretend you don't know what I'm talking about, but I've seen the way you looked at her. She might not see it, but I did, so you can cut the shit. I'm just here to tell you Tara and I are back together, and if you try to get between us, I promise you'll regret it, man." Jax says, suddenly sounding much more restrained than he had when he'd first walked in.

John leans forward now, and folds his arms in front of him, eyeing Jax with much more scrutiny. "The only pull you have over her is the fact that you're the father of her sons. But sooner or later she'll realize that that's not enough to build a life on anymore. She said you're a good father, it's one thing she always said, how much you love your sons ... but the fact that she felt the need to point that out, told me only one thing. That you weren't a good husband, and you still aren't, coming here behind her back."

"You don't know shit about me." Jax spits back angrily all over again.

"I know enough," John replies. "I know that you lied, and cheated. Know that your gang is the reason she got injured and almost died. And I also know that despite all the shit you did to her, she just keeps coming back for more. Until the next time she gets hurt because of you. Or murdered." He scoffs and shakes his head, "She's a smart, beautiful woman, but she clearly must be some kind of masochist being with you, because God knows she sure as shit doesn't respond to kindness."

Jax rounds the desk and yanks John up by the lapels of his white doctor coat, before he pushes him hard against the wall behind him with a loud thud. "You ever talk about my wife that way again, I'll kill you."

But John doesn't seem intimidated at all, he practically grins back at Jax when he says, "You wanna hit me? Go ahead, man. It'll show everyone just how civilized you are now ... show Tara how civilized you are, the reformed Outlaw."

Jax lets go of him then, but he's still seething with anger, "Stay the fuck away from my wife. Or I'll show you exactly what I'm capable of. Outlaw or not."

Two days later, Jax and Tara stand in the airport terminal, looking at each other with sad eyes. These next five days are going to be pretty hectic for Jax, having to take care of the boys on his own, on top of going to work three out of the five days she will be gone. After having the benefit of co-parenting with him, she can honestly say she didn't envy him having to do this solo for the next couple of days. Thank God for Mrs. Ellie and Christy helping out too.

They stand right outside the security checkpoint, it is as far as Jax is allowed to follow her.

"I'll text you as soon as I land," Tara reassures him.

"Okay," Jax replies, and rests his forehead against hers, wrapping his hands around her waist. "I'll fucking miss you so much, Babe. I hate this."

"I know," Tara replies, clinging to him as well. "We're both gonna be so busy, I'll go by quick ... time will fly."

"I hope so." Jax nods, and leans in now for another kiss that quickly turns passionate.

After a few long minutes, Tara reluctantly pulls away, glancing at her wristwatch, "I gotta go." She says, and leans in for another quick peck against his lips, "I'll be back before you know it. It's just a few days." She reminds him.

"I know." He says, and knows he is being ridiculous. "And I know it's stupid 'cause we've been through so much worse shit than being apart for five lousy days, but man, it just feels different now. Now that I have you back."

Tara smiles, "That's so sweet." She kisses him again. "Tell the boys I love 'em and I miss 'em, and I'll call tonight. I'll try to call before they're in bed, okay?"

"Alright, Babe." Jax hugs her close to him, kissing her temple this time. "Have fun, but not too much." He smiles.

She kisses him on the lips once more, before she finally heads toward the security checkpoint. Jax watches her present her boarding pass and ID, and then unpack her laptop and a few other things from her carry-on bag, and continues to watch her until he can't see her anymore.

That's when he finally heads for the airport exit, needing to get back to work. But he just can't shake this feeling in his gut that tells him that something is going to go wrong.

Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please leave me a few words if you can. Thanks.