Jax has been on the road for over six and a half hours, only stopping once to fill up his tank of gas, use the restroom, and stretch his legs. He'd bought some snacks for the road, some energy drinks to keep him focused and awake, along with a couple of sandwiches and a big bag of chips that he's been snacking on every now and again along the way.
About two hours ago, little flurries of snow had begun to fall, and at the time it had been nothing too concerning, but now as his eyes take in the sign that told him he is just two miles out before the next exit to Drewsey Oregon, it is starting to look pretty fucking bad out there.
For the most part, the highways and major roads have been treated decent enough for the oncoming storm to keep on driving, but the snow is falling so much heavier now, and the temperatures have dropped dramatically too, bringing the wind chill well below freezing at this point.
Overall, the combination of everything, the snow, the wind, and the freezing cold is making it harder to see a whole lot ahead of him, but as long as the roads remain drivable, he is going to stay on and move on ahead.
Through it all, he tries his best to stay optimistic, even when he listens to the dooming outlook of worse weather yet to come the further he ventures east toward Idaho.
X
Clearly, she didn't plan this all the way through, Tara thought to herself, her eyes glued to the road ahead of her. The snow is making it hard to see and the wind keeps pushing the rental car toward the ditch along the side of the road, and she finds herself having to steer to the left just to keep the vehicle going straight ahead.
Right about now, dodging John's calls and knocks at the hotel room door didn't sound quite so bad when she pictures herself all bundled up in her warm hotel room bed, raiding the minibar for candy and a strong drink, while watching some sitcom or rom-com on the TV instead of dealing with this nightmare on the road she's facing right now.
But she is too far in now to turn back around, leaving her really no choice but to keep on driving. There are only two possible outcomes, she'll either make it all the way home, or if the storm gets any worse, she'll have to stop at some motel someplace along the way and wait it out.
Just when that thought crosses her mind, her car loses traction on the road and spins out on the slippery surface, presenting her with outcome number three; crashing and freezing to death in the middle of nowhere.
She wasn't even going as fast as the speed limit allowed, but right now it doesn't seem to matter as the car begins to swerve every which way she doesn't want it to go, before it slides off the road and comes to a jolting abrupt stop as it lands down in the ditch. Oh shit!
Tara sighs, letting out the breath she's been holding as she looks around the car first, then her surroundings outside. Thankfully, she didn't actually hit the tree that leans toward the car, she thinks in relief as she looks back at it over her shoulder. But a heavy branch hangs over the back of her rental car, surely leaving some scratches on the hood of the trunk, but no actual impact means no airbags had gone off, so that was always a plus.
Snow is still falling mercilessly outside, quickly covering the windshield, and that's when Tara realizes the windshield wipers stopped working and the car has actually shut off on her altogether. She quickly reaches for the key, turning it to start the car back up, and at first, it sounds like the engine will turn over, but then it stalls, and nothing else happens. She tries several more times, but always with the same outcome. Fuck!
Now she can actually feel a wave of panic coming on, and tries to reach for her carry-on bag that has fallen to the floor in front of the passenger seat, some of its contents scattered all over the floor. But the seatbelt is locked in place and stops her short from any movement, and she hurriedly unbuckles herself, before she awkwardly leans down toward the passenger side of the car to gather all of the things that have spilled out of her bag.
She finally finds her cell phone that was wedged between the passenger door and seat, and stares at it as another wave of panic comes over her when she realizes she has no service whatsoever in this particular spot. Jesus Christ!
She reaches up and massages her shoulder, where the seat belt had dug in just a little bit too hard when she had lost control of the vehicle. She tries to think back on the little truck stop she passed a few miles back, wondering if she could walk that far. How many miles had it been? Shit, she really had no idea, it could've been two miles, or maybe fifteen ... ugh!
Tara pulls her fluffy oversized scarf out of the bag and wraps it around herself, then pulls the latch that unlocks the hood before she opens her door and fights against the wind to get outside. She struggles in her high-heeled shoes to keep her footing, all in all, she simply isn't dressed for this kind of weather, but when she got dressed for the conference this morning, she hadn't anticipated this road trip to take place at all.
And then she'd planned to be on a plane several hours ago, which by now would've already landed safe and sound back in Medford, and before long she would've picked up her boys and be huddled on the couch with them under a blanket until Jax would get home and join them too.
The thought of her boys and her man is what keeps her fighting against the cold, when she examines the engine for any obvious problem. As a teenage girl, she spent countless hours sitting on the sidelines at T-M, pretending to be reading a book or doing homework, when she really was just ogling her hot blond boyfriend, while he worked on cars, bikes, and the such. And right now she wished she would've just paid a little more attention to what he'd been doing, because she didn't have the faintest idea what she was looking at, or what could possibly be wrong.
Nothing stands out to her, and she fears it is something not engine-related at all. The more she thought about it, the more she came to the conclusion that she probably damaged something in the undercarriage when the car slid down into the ditch. Well, at least that's what she figures makes the most sense.
Tara slams the hood back shut, and uses the sleeve of her jacket to clear the windshield and the side windows that are facing the road of snow on her way to the back of the car. She tries repeatedly to open the trunk, so she could get some warmer clothing out of her suitcase, but to no avail. The branch of the tree hangs just an inch above her car and doesn't give her enough clearance to open it. So she aborts that mission as well, and quickly climbs back inside to hide from the cold wind.
Her whole body shivers, and at this point, the interior of the car isn't that much warmer than the outside anymore, but at least it wasn't windy or snowing in here. She readjusts the big oversized scarf around her head, and rubs her hands together, hoping the friction will warm them, and wishes she would've brought gloves and a thicker jacket along too.
She checks her cell phone one more time, but there is still no service, so she wedges the device between her thighs to keep it from getting too cold, since her battery seems to be losing power already.
If she is going to freeze to death out here, she truly has no one to blame but herself, and all because of some idiotic idea she had about surprising Jax by coming back early. She and Jax have been doing so good lately. He's been more considerate and loving, and she feels so much more comfortable around him in return. They've been on a steadfast path to regain their trust in each other, until this damn conference and John put a screeching halt to it all again.
She curses herself for being this stupid, downright reckless, for getting onto the road without calling or texting Jax, or at the very least letting Christy in on her plan to head home early through the midst of this storm. So now, as that crucial mistake runs through her mind, she really has no other choice than to just sit and wait, hoping and praying that a car or truck will pass by soon, and that she'll spot it quickly enough to get out and get them to stop for her. Which is easier said than done, since the visibility around her is declining with every passing minute. She turns her hazard lights on, thankful that they at least still seem to be working. But she wonders just how visible they are if the car is slowly getting covered in another layer of snow again.
X
Jax has no choice but to slow down, considering visibility has decreased even more now. There had been a sign for a truck stop about ten miles ahead of him, and as much as he hates the idea of not making it all the way to Boise today, he knows that the smart thing to do is to make a stop and take shelter until the worst of this storm passes.
To top it all off, out here in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by forests that seem to stretch for miles and miles, cell service is spotty at best. And even though there has never been an issue with either of the boys at preschool or daycare since he moved here, he thought how it would be just his luck that something would go wrong while he couldn't even be reached by phone, and Tara is out of town too.
Or maybe it is just guilt that begins to seep into his thoughts, wondering if he made a mistake after all, taking off like he did to surprise Tara. The boys seemed fine last night and this morning too. As a matter of fact, they seemed downright excited to be able to hang with their new friends today, but he still couldn't shake the feeling that maybe he should've put his own needs aside for the sake of theirs. Isn't that what a dad was supposed to do?
But as he ponders over that, Greg's words come back to him, easing at least some of that guilty conscience again when he remembers him saying that fixing your marriage is a crucial part of ensuring your kids' happiness too. Undoubtedly there is some truth to that!
Jax squints to focus his eyes more on what is coming up ahead. The snow is mercilessly blasting against his windshield, obscuring the view while his windshield wipers work overtime. He can see a Chevy truck coming to a dead stop in the oncoming lane up ahead, noticing the hazard lights flashing, he lowers his speed even more. Just as he is about to pass, he sees the passenger and the driver of the truck jump out and Jax rolls up to him, coming to a stop, and lowers his window before he too turns on his hazard lights, as a precaution in case a vehicle should come up behind him.
"Everything alright?" Jax asks, he has to raise his voice, almost yelling over the sound of the wind blasting around them. After all, he is a mechanic, and maybe he could help with whatever the issue was. One good deed at a time, and maybe one day the good would outnumber all the bad shit he's done to people.
"Yeah." The guy nods, points to the other side of his truck, where the other guy disappeared to, and explains, "Just checking on that car over there."
But between the snowy wind and the big green Chevy, the view of the ditch was hidden from him, and he honestly hadn't even noticed that there was a car at all.
He nods, "Alright," and waves the guy off before he turns off his hazard lights and slowly lets his foot off the brakes to let the truck start rolling again.
But as he begins to drive off, his eyes flicker to the rearview mirror, watching as the two men help someone climb out of the snow-covered sedan. As for the car, there is nothing he can do, even if there is a mechanical problem, it would require a tow truck to get that thing back out of the deep ditch with all the snow around.
But then his eyes landed on her! He couldn't see her face, but even through the wind and the snow, he would recognize those curves and that body anywhere!
It is just a split second, and he does a double take, frantically glancing over his shoulder now to get a better look, when his breath catches in his throat and he stomps on the breaks so fast that his truck spins out in the same moment he realizes he isn't just conjuring her up in his mind. He isn't hallucinating, and that's really her.
Both his hands grip the wheel and his pickup truck is almost completely sideways by the time it finally comes to a full stop. His front end sits in oncoming traffic, while the back of the truck is still in his lane. Shit!
Jax quickly puts the truck in reverse, his tires spinning as he straightens out while backing up closer to the Chevy again, before he pulls off to the right and puts the truck in park. He flicks the hazard lights on again, leaving the truck running when he bolts out and takes off toward the green Chevy and her.
"Tara!" He yells at the top of his lungs, as he fights the wind and the snow to get closer to her. "Tara!" He yells again, and that moment of panic he'd felt disintegrates again when she stops and turns her head in his direction and he can actually see her face. His own head is spinning now with questions though. Why is she here? How did she end up in that car in the ditch? Is she alright?
A few more quick strides and he is by her side, wrapping her in his arms as her smaller form shivers against him, hiding her face in his chest from the cold, "Jesus Christ, Babe, you're freezing."
"Hey, lady?" One of the guys who helped her out of the car speaks up, "Are you okay? You know this guy?"
"Yes, ... thank you." Tara still shivers when she glances back at him and nods. "He's my husband." She adds, before Jax has a chance to chime in.
"Thanks, for helping her." Jax has his arm still tightly wrapped around her, but holds one hand out for the guys to shake, "I appreciate it."
Both men take quick turns shaking his hand, nodding at him, before one replies "No problem." And then they head back to their own truck without another glance back.
Jax grabs her bag from her and drapes it around his shoulder instead. With his arm wrapped around her, he tries to usher her back to his truck, but she shivers so much, and is slipping in her high-heeled shoes, that he quickly picks her up and carries her the rest of the way.
He lets her back down just long enough to open the door and then picks her up to hoist her inside. He reaches past her shoulder to the backseat, grabs the blanket he keeps back there for the boys, shakes off some leftover crumbs, and then tucks it around her. After dropping her bag onto the floorboard by her feet, he quickly shuts the door with a loud bang and rounds the front of the truck to climb into the driver's side.
"Babe?" He says, and she opens her eyes to look up at him from beneath the scarf, "Are you hurt?" It just now dawned on him to ask, while he turns the heater on full blast, adjusting the little vents to point in her direction before he turns all his attention back to her.
Tara shakes her head slightly, "No, just ... cold." She still shivers when she asks, "Jax, ... where are my babies?"
"Our babies are fine. They're staying the night with Christy. Don't worry." Jax sighs in relief and leans over to her, pulling her hands to him and rubbing his bigger hands around hers to warm them, before he raises them up to his lips, blowing against them repeatedly, his hot breath warming them almost instantly.
Then he pulls all of her in his arms again, he just couldn't believe she is here. His hands tuck on the blanket, wrapping it more tightly around her while he holds her, before he draws back just enough to kiss her.
But startled, he draws back again, mumbling against her lips, "Fuck, your lips are cold."
"I know." She mumbles in reply and leans closer, pressing her lips to his again, liking the way it warms not just her lips. Oh, how she missed him!
Jax's hands reach up to her face, angling her head just the way he wants her to deepen the kiss, his palms warm against her cold cheeks.
But before the kiss can turn even more passionate, they are interrupted by a big semi-truck that speeds past them, and rather reluctantly Jax comes up for air, smirking back at Tara and her already flushing cheeks. "We need to get off the road. Out of this fucking storm."
"Yeah." Tara agrees, and nods toward the road ahead, "There's a truck stop a couple miles that way."
"Right." Jax nods, remembering the sign, and reaches around her to put the seatbelt on for her, so she can stay wrapped up under the blanket. He places another quick kiss against her lips before he sits back and puts his own seatbelt on, not taking any chances with how bad the roads are.
He puts the truck in gear and pulls back onto the road, the snow seems even heavier now than it did before he stopped.
"You can barely see anything out there," Tara comments, her eyes glued to the way ahead of them.
"Yeah," Jax nods, "It's going into white-out, can't even see what's right in front of you." He explains, but then turns to look at her for a split second. "Wanna tell me how you ended up in this?" He gestures with his hand to the snowy surroundings outside, then adds, "With that car in the ditch?"
Tara clears her throat, she is beginning to feel much better as she is thawing out, but still decides to give him the abridged version. "The storm hit, the conference ended early, but there were no outgoing flights, so I rented a car."
Jax shakes his head, "You thought driving home in this weather, in that piece of shit sedan was a good idea?" There is obvious concern edged in his voice, now that he had a moment to think.
"Do not start with me, Jax," Tara says warningly, sounding already frustrated. She is so not in the mood for a lecture from him right now.
But she can't stop herself from adding defensively, "It was slim pickings at the car rental place ... and I wanted to get home, to surprise you."
When Jax remains suspiciously quiet now, Tara glances over at him, "What about you? Care to explain how you ended up here?"
Jax swipes his hand down his face in a fruitless attempt to hide the smile that creeps onto his lips, "Took the day off, ... wanted to surprise you too." He dares a glance in her direction now, and when he sees the big smile that is now displayed on her face too, he no longer tries to hide his own.
Tara raises her eyebrows and shakes her head mockingly. "So you're lecturing me about driving through the storm, when you are literally driving toward it." She replies and smiles even more when he doesn't reply right away.
She watches him bite his lip in another vain attempt to not smile even brighter, before he finally says, "Guess when it comes to each other we both got shit for brains, ... all common sense goes right out the damn window."
Tara sighs and nods along to that statement, then she folds the blanket back a bit, and sits a bit straighter now before she reaches over to him, running her fingers along his smooth cheek, "You shaved." Then her eyes flicker up to his beanie, and she pushes it up just enough to reveal some of his shorter hair, "And you cut your hair." She gives him a scrutinizing look now, "Why? I mean, what happened?"
"I'm not sure." Jax shrugs his shoulders, then dares to look back at her, "Guess I just needed a fresh start." He glances back at her for a quick second again, gauging the look she is giving him, before focusing back on the icy road ahead, "You don't like it?"
"I like it," Tara replies without even having to think about it, and smiles. "It reminds me of the day you proposed to me." But then her hand goes back to his jawline again, "But I do miss the beard."
Jax reaches up and grabs her hand, moving her fingers from his hairless chin up to his lips and kisses them, "It'll grow back before you know it." He winks with a smirk, and for a second considers telling her about the reaper too, but then decides he'd much rather show her than tell, and remains quiet about it for now.
They drive in silence for a couple of minutes, her hand in his as the storm grows even angrier around them.
Tara pushes the blanket down to her waist, opening the zipper of her jacket a bit now, and turns the heater down too, feeling much better and definitely warmer already. She reaches down and rifles through her bag until she finds her cell phone, but realizing it's completely dead now, she turns her attention back to him, "Is your phone working?"
"It wasn't earlier." Jax reaches into the inside pocket of his jacket, pulls it out, and hands it to her.
Tara turns on the screen and frowns, "No service."
"It's probably just the storm, Babe." Jax tries to placate her, when his eyes flicker to the clock on his dashboard. "It ain't even three thirty yet. The boys are still at school and daycare, and they got Christy's, Jason's, and Mrs. Ellie's numbers ... It'll be fine." He gives her a reassuring look and when Tara nods in agreement he adds, "And I'm sure they got a pay phone or something we can use at that truck stop."
"Right." Tara nods, and hands his phone back to him, before she folds her arms in front of herself.
Another couple of quiet minutes pass between them, when Tara says, "Meeting up with you out here ... by chance." She looks over at him and when he looks back at her, she asks. "It's a bit strange, don't you think?"
"Yeah. It is!" Jax nods, undoubtedly agreeing with her. A bit strange is the understatement of the year. What are the fucking odds?
He suddenly lets out a small, almost inaudible chuckle and Tara looks back at him, confused but amused by his little laugh, "What's funny?"
"I was just thinking," he looks back over at her, smiling brightly, "how this reminds me of one of those god-awful chick flicks you like to watch."
Tara smiles, thinking about what he said, "Are you talking about my Hallmark movies? The ones you say you hate, because of the has-been-casting and the oh-so-predictable ending?"
"Yeah, those." Jax agrees, and grins, "But what I really don't like is that the guy ends up with just a kiss at the very end, no T and A whatsoever, none ... I mean, for Christ's sake, throw the guy a bone and at least give him some head." He looks over at her, a big toothy smile on his face. "Shit, I should get some head just for having to watch him not getting any."
Tara laughs out loud at that, "I think the T and A, the giving head it's all implied ... you know, after the credits roll."
"Yeah. I bet." Jax mockingly agrees, but dares to look back at Tara, who is watching him with scrutiny now and he can't stop himself from asking. "What?"
"Well, if this reminds you of that, me being the damsel in distress, you being the poor guy who's not getting any ... are you saying you're not content with just a kiss?" Tara asks, now no longer smiling as soon as the words have left her lips. And suddenly she questions her own sanity, wondering herself why she just said what she did. Why lead him down toward this conversation again?
"Babe." He replies, sounding way too serious all of a sudden, "Look, I'm content with whatever you're content with. The ball's in your court ... it's been in your court since I showed up at your door. You decide if this show stays PG, or ... when it'll get a new rating, alright?" He answers with a string of metaphors and looks back at her for a few seconds, until she nods in agreement, looking just as serious as he just sounded.
A beat or two passes, and despite the blizzard-like conditions, Jax can begin to make out the faint lights of vehicles at the approaching truck stop up ahead. Even in the light of day, they are glowing like Christmas lights way off in the distance, and he glances back at Tara who is staring lost in her own thoughts out the passenger side window. Penny for your thoughts, Babe!
In an attempt to lift the mood again, he smirks and looks back over at her, "But should you feel the sudden urge to wanna blow me in some show of gratitude for rescuing you from freezing to death, I'd be a willing recipient. Hell, I'd even reciprocate."
"Teller!" Tara's voice sounds outraged, and she looks back at him now, her mouth agape pretending to be offended. She shoves him playfully on the shoulder, which results in both of them laughing out loud as the lights and the outline of buildings ahead of them grow even closer.
Another couple of minutes and they finally pull into the truck stop. There is a gas station, a bar, and a grill named rather unoriginally Saloon, with the Stag Horn Motel attached right beside it. They both glance at the oversized motel sign, perched high above the lot, and Jax looks at Tara just to gauge her reaction, but she's staring straight ahead, not letting her feelings show.
It's not even four in the afternoon, so it isn't dark out yet, the snow making it seem even brighter now that they're no longer surrounded by trees on either side of the two-lane road they have been traveling on.
Jax's eyes flicker to the red lit-up 'no vacancy' sign, and he can't hide the frown for a moment, but swipes his hand over his face anyway trying to conceal it, when he continues to pull further into the lot. So much for that pipe dream!
He finds an empty parking spot near the entrance of the bar, and pulls in right beside a parked police car.
He glances over at Tara for a second, "Ready, Babe?"
She nods her head and reaches for the door handle, but Jax stops from opening his door when he sees the cops step out of the bar and head toward their car parked right beside his truck.
Jax shares an unsure look with Tara, but she just smiles at him, slightly shaking her head at his continued disdain and distrust toward any men in blue, and a moment from long ago comes back to mind. Relax, we're civilians!
She leans closer to him, reaching out and framing his face with her hands to pull him in for a kiss, which he gladly reciprocates. It's a welcome distraction, and by the time they both pull back, the police car has long disappeared.
They step inside the bar, the heat in here cranked up and in stark contrast to the freezing wind blowing right outside these doors, and upon looking around they're surprised that the place isn't as crowded as the full parking lot outside would suggest.
"Hey, folks." A skinny blonde with tattoo-covered arms greets them, as she steps around them, an empty serving tray under her arm. "Just to let you know, state police were just here. They're closing the roads."
"I figured, it's pretty bad out there," Jax replies. "Any idea for how long?"
She shrugs, "They say it's a full-on blizzard. Plows can't get through 'till the morning." She starts clearing some glasses off a nearby table but looks up at them as she continues. "So batten down the hatches and pull up a stool, 'cause you're probably going to be here all night. I know I will." She adds the last bit with unmistakable tiredness to her voice.
Jax and Tara step further into the room, toward the actual bar where the woman steps behind now, and Tara finally pipes up, "Is there a phone we could use?"
"Oh, yeah." The blonde woman nods her head down the hall to the right of her, to the left of Jax and Tara, "Pay phones are in the back by the restrooms."
Jax starts heading in that direction, when Tara stops at the bar, approaching the woman once more. "Since it looks like we'll be spending the night, do you mind if I give my kids' babysitter the number to here, you know, just in case of an emergency?"
"No, honey." She replies very sweetly and grabs a napkin. "I don't mind." She adds as she quickly scribbles down the number and hands it to Tara.
On the way to the phones, Jax finally fills Tara in that Greg and his wife will have the boys for a play date first, then Christy and Jason will have them the rest of the weekend. So they take turns, he calls Greg up and gives him the number to the bar, and then Tara grabs the phone and calls Christy, leaving the same number with her as well.
Tara disappears in the bathroom, while Jax returns back to the bar, taking a seat on one of the stools.
He lazily lets his eyes drift across the 'Happy Thanksgiving' sign that still hangs on the wall, high above the glasses and liquor bottles, and smirks a little considering it's almost Christmas now.
"Hey, can I get you a drink?" The skinny blonde asks him just as she reappears behind the bar again.
"I'm okay," Jax answers at first, but the barkeeper won't let up.
"Ah, first one's on me. Call it the snowstorm special." She gets two shot glasses out and begins to pour. She nods at Tara who's coming down the hallway toward them, "For you and your wife."
"Oh, we'd love a drink. Thank you." Tara replies as she drapes her bag and jeans over the back of the barstool before she takes a seat right beside him, and Jax does a double take, looking her up and down.
Tara bites her lip, trying not to laugh at the stunt expression on his face, the so obvious over-protectiveness of his that's shining through. She pulls on the glittery top, that's easily long enough to pass as a dress, further down on her thighs, still trying to ignore him and his disapproving expression.
"You're welcome. Here you go." The bartender says as she places the two shot glasses in front of them with a smile, before she disappears once again to tend to her other customers.
Jax turns toward her now, "What are you doing?" The look he's giving her speaks volumes and he doesn't need to further explain that he's talking about her change or lack of clothing.
"My jeans are still wet. And it's so warm in here." Tara tries to explain, but Jax clearly isn't amused. She leans in closer to him, flirtatiously looking up at him now while she curls her arm around his bicep, "You're acting like I'm naked or something?" She's still wearing her jacket over it, and she can just picture him losing his shit if she dares to take that off too.
He glances at her, making an obvious show of looking at her long bare legs, "You're showing a lot of skin." Before his eyes drift across the rest of the bar, trying to see if she caught anyone else's eyes in this little get-up of hers, and he's glad to see that everyone's either too drunk already, too busy making out, or too engaged in conversation to even bother looking their way. But if he's happy about it, it doesn't show on his face.
"I've seen plenty of girls over the years, at the Clubhouse and at Diosa, wearing a whole lot less than this, Jax." She replies back with conviction. She is in no way dressed inappropriately here. As a matter of fact, she wouldn't be sitting here like this, if she didn't think she looked kind of cute in it.
Alright, she's got a point, Jax concedes in his mind and he does smile a little now, but his words that follow contradict his facial expression, "And they were all trying to sell something, Babe. Their lack of clothes made 'em a walking billboard, an advertisement. Announcing, I'm for sale!"
"Fine, whatever." She replies now and shrugs her shoulders, sounding every bit like a teenage girl instead of a woman in her thirties. She's done arguing, but either way, she's not going to slip her cold wet jeans on again regardless of what he says. He'll just have to deal with it. And then she adds, with a tad of disappointment in the tone of her voice, "I really thought you'd like it."
"I do like it." Jax now replies, and gives her another once-over, a cocky grin on his lips now. "You do look smokin', Babe."
"Then what's the problem?" Tara inquires, searching his face when she asks further, cocking her head mockingly to the side, "Is there a rule against old ladies looking hot? God forbid we give the Croweaters a run for their money."
Now Jax actually chuckles, "Babe, you give those Croweaters a run for their money any day, even in your surgical scrubs."
She smiles at that obvious attempt at a compliment, her cheeks blushing a little, and he places a kiss against her temple, then his lips are near her ear, "Look, the problem is that I don't want some guys getting ideas about you." About what's mine!
His right hand drops down to her leg, fingers seductively caressing the inside of her thigh, "And this top, or dress, whatever the fuck it is, it doesn't leave much to the imagination."
Now Tara takes a look around the bar, more for show to drive home her point, "Nobody here gives a shit, Jax. So can we just sit here, have some drinks, maybe some food later, and just make the best of being stuck here? And I'll promise as soon as my jeans are dry, I'll put them right back on."
She smiles up at him then, meeting his eyes and he lets out an exasperated sigh, conceding before they both lean in for a kiss. He lets those fingertips of his caress her thighs some more, warming her up from the inside out as blood rushes to all the right places.
They stop kissing when the bartender comes back around, so they both finally reach for their shot and drown it at once. Tara scrunches her nose at the strong burning sensation and Jax can't help but grin a bit at the expression on her face. Lightweight!
"You two haven't been married long, have ya'?" The bartender asks while she wipes the counter down in front of them.
"Why'd you say that?" Jax asks back in return instead of answering the question.
"You still got that newlywed glow going on." She gestures with her hand around them, as if the glow she is referring to is something tangible, something you could see with the naked eye, maybe even touch. Then she folds the rag in her hand into a neat square, while watching the couple share an amused look between them. "And you're still giving each other fuck-me-eyes! That usually passes after you're married for a while."
At that, they both smirk at each other for a long moment, as if they've just been caught doing something naughty.
And now Jax flat-out lies, "Yeah, I guess we're pretty new at it." His eyes flicker from her to Tara, then down to his wedding band. And he wonders if it's really a lie, considering this is the first time they're really trying to make this marriage thing work, away from the Club and Gemma.
"Ahh, thought so." She replies, content that she got it right. "You're not from around her, are you? I don't remember ever seeing you in here before." She asks next.
"No," Tara replies, shaking her head. "We're originally from Charming, Cali, but -"
"But we live in Medford now," Jax adds for her, his hand curling around her thigh again.
"Well, my name's Mandy, and this is actually my bar." She gestures with her hands about the place.
"I'm Tara." Tara says, and gestures to him beside her, "And this is my husband, Jax." Jax nods his head at her.
She looks at them and repeats, "Tara and Jax, got it," and pours them another shot.
Suddenly she's on a roll to share some of her stories while she's busying herself filling two clear pitchers with beer from the tap, "I'm from around here, lived here all my life. Got this bar in the divorce." She chuckles. "Never used to come in here when he ran the place, but now I love it!"
A woman across the room, obviously drunk already, suddenly yells out, slightly slurring, "Hey, Mandy!" Jax turns his head just to get a quick look, but Tara doesn't bother, she just takes the second shot that Mandy has put in front of her, while the woman continues yelling, "Now, how about bringing us some more pitchers, huh?"
Mandy smiles and casually nods toward the woman, "My ex-sister-in-law, Trish." She picks up the pitchers and rounds the bar, passing by Jax and Tara, and stops for a quick moment, looking at Tara, "Listen, honey. You can pick the guy, but you just can't pick the family."
Tara and Jax glance at each other, a knowing look in their eyes as Mandy walks away, and Jax reaches for his second shot, drowning it as quickly as the first. Isn't that the truth!
A beat or two passes silently between them, when Jax slides off his chair, "I'm gonna head over to the motel, and check if they really don't have a room for tonight?"
"Okay." Tara nods, leaning in when he does too, and kisses him before he turns and heads out the door.
Mandy returns and nods at the door that's falling shut, where Jax had just walked out, "I didn't cause any trouble with that comment about family, did I?"
Tara shakes her head, "No, you didn't. He's just checking on a room."
"Don't think he'll have much luck there," Mandy answers and walks away again with two drinks she just poured.
X
The rooms have all been taken, so they remain in the bar, but eventually settle at one of the tables in a corner. The lights are dimmed here, which gives it the appearance of a bit more privacy away from the bar, and the chairs are a bit more comfortable too.
They call Greg to make sure he got the boys home without any issues, even talk to them for a moment, but both Abel and Thomas are too busy playing to give their parents the time of day. Tara's a little sad about it, but Jax finds comfort in the fact that the boys seem so happy to have some new friends to play with.
They order some food and more drinks. Both get a burger with fries and a couple of beers. And they sit and talk, teasing and laughing, picking at their fries, eating slowly, relaxing, and enjoying each other's company and conversation.
Tara sits across from him, she's taken off her high-heeled shoes, stretching her legs out, careful to have her dress pulled down as far as it goes, with her bare feet propped up on the chair beside him. And while they talk, Jax absentmindedly rubs his hand up and down her calves, slowly, soothingly, over and over, and she's secretly glad that she took the time to shave this morning.
They sit and talk about everything and nothing, and for the most part, keep the conversation lighthearted. Growing a little restless now as time keeps ticking away, Jax stubs out his cigarette in the ashtray sitting on the table between them. He exhales the remaining smoke out of the side of his mouth, and smiles at her before he nods toward the small and completely empty dance floor in front of the little stage. "Wanna dance?"
Tara glances over her shoulder at the dance floor, then at the modern-looking and oversized jukebox near it, before she returns her attention back to Jax and nods, "Yeah, I'd like that."
He stands and holds out his hand for her to take, helping her come to a stand too. She doesn't bother to put her shoes back on, remains barefoot instead, and to top it all off, she now shrugs out of her jacket too, revealing the low-cut bare back to her dress, not low enough to show the crow though. While she does this, her eyes never leave his in a silent challenge, daring him to say something as she leaves her jacket draped over the back of her chair, right on top of the jeans that are probably bone dry by now.
But Jax doesn't say anything this time, he just smiles and shakes his head, clearly amused by her defiance, chalking her behavior up to alcohol by now. After all, she's had a couple of shots and some beers too.
They walk together to the jukebox, looking over the digital selection. She's lazily resting her head against him, his arm draped around her neck, while they take their time looking over what seems like an endless list of songs to pick and choose from.
Eventually, they pick something slow and romantic, just a handful of songs, some of them ballads, most of which represent remnants from their youth. Brian Adams. Goo Goo Dolls. Bon Jovi. Coldplay. Edwin McCain.
So they begin to dance away another hour under the cliché looking spinning disco ball, slowly and carefully starting with Brian Adams' 'Please forgive me', and followed later by his song named 'Heaven'.
Tara is dancing barefoot, while Jax carefully moves them around the dance floor, barely moving their feet as they wordlessly listen to those old tragic love songs that seemed so popular back during their teenage and young adult years. And by a miracle, he not once steps on her naked toes, while the last beats and words to Bon Jovi's 'Never Say Goodbye' croon throughout the place.
They'd be lying if they said it doesn't take them back in time for a moment when these old familiar songs play. Yet truth be told, this isn't the music Jax used to like, or if he did, he never would've admitted it back then, but he chose them now because he knew that Tara used to like them, and they had the right beat to slow dance too which was another obvious plus.
Looking back though, Jax recalls making love to her to these songs more than they ever actually danced to them. He smiles when the memory of a mixtape he made for her comes back to him for a quick moment.
And now, with her in his arms, and nothing else on his mind, he actually finds himself listening to the lyrics, taking them in, and how heartbreakingly the emotions in them ring true now that he's old enough to appreciate them. He's thinking to himself how fitting some of the words are when Edwin McCain's 'I'll be' ends, and the starting beat to Bon Jovi's 'Lie to me' begins to play instead.
Rumor has it that your daddy's coming down, he's gonna pay the rent
Tell me, babe, is this as good as this life is gonna get
It feels like there is a stranger standing in these shoes
But I know I can't lose me, 'cause then I'd be losing you
I know I promised, baby, I would be the one to make our dreams come true
I ain't too proud of all the struggles and the hard times we've been through
When this cold world comes between us
Please tell me you'll be brave
'Cause I can realize the danger when forgiveness fades away
If you don't love me, lie to me
'Cause, baby, you're the one thing I believe
Let it all fall down around us, if that's what's meant to be
Right now if you don't love me, baby, lie to me
Pour another cup of coffee, babe, I got some thing to say to you
But I ain't got the winning ticket
Not the one that's gonna pull us through
No one says it'd be easy, let your old man take you home
But know if you walk out on me, that, darlin', I'd be gone
If you don't love me, lie to me
'Cause, baby, you're the one thing I believe
Let it all fall down around us, if that's what's meant to be
Right now if you can't love me, baby, lie to me
Baby, I can take it
It's a bitch that life's a roller coaster ride
The ups and downs will make you scream sometimes
It's hard believing that the thrill is gone
But we got to go around again, so let's hold on
If you don't love me, lie to me
'Cause, baby, you're the one thing I believe
Let it all fall down around us, if that's what's meant to be
Right now if you can't love me, baby, lie to me,
Go on lie to me
Baby, I can take it
C'mon, lie to me
Jax's right hand is splayed out across Tara's back pretty much the entire time they've been dancing, and although he wants to, he refrains from grabbing her ass, instead he just slips his hand down as low as her crow. His other hand is holding one of her hands against his chest, right by his heart, while they gaze at each other every now and then. Getting lost in each other's eyes like some love-drunk teenagers.
He remembers reading somewhere once that dancing is one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs that isn't a controlled substance, and right now, he couldn't agree more. Over the last hour, the sexual tension between them has been rising with every look and every touch, and every step.
Throughout the dance, they kissed, or rather brushed their lips over the other's lips and skin ever so softly, leaving goosebumps in their path. Her breath gets caught in her throat every time Jax pulls her closer to him. And a few times his lips are near her ear, humming or even singing along to the song in a low whisper, causing her heartbeat to quicken each time.
But right now, as the last couple beats of the song are playing out, Jax's lips are on Tara's neck. She can feel his warm breath while he's placing sweet sizzling kisses against her delicate creamy skin there. And Tara actually closes her eyes, so lost in the moment, her heart beating wildly in her chest at the sensation his lips leave on her skin and the need for him that's pooling in her core.
Then the song completely stops, and when no other one starts to play they realize it's the last one they paid for. Jax stops kissing her neck and meets her eyes, lust, and needs flashing back at her behind blue orbs, before he takes her by the hand and leads her back to their table off to the side.
But this time, she doesn't sit across from him, instead, he pulls her onto his lap, before their mouths greedily find each other, getting lost in a scorching kiss. Her hands cling to the fabric of his shirt, pulling and tugging on it, wanting him even closer, until she simply wraps her arms around his neck instead. If she was wearing her jeans instead of this short dress, she'd probably be straddling him by now, but dressed like this it seems inappropriate to say the least.
As for Jax, his hands are wrapped around her, holding onto her hips, and it takes all the willpower he can muster to not let a hand slip lower, beneath the hem of her dress, and to not let his fingers travel along her bare skin between her thighs. But he knows he can't do that here, not here out in the open, in public ... at least that's what he keeps telling himself, when he reaches up and frames her face instead. A mere attempt to busy his greedy hands otherwise, when he angles her face so he can kiss her more passionately, allowing his tongue to explore her mouth more deeply.
They're so consumed by each other, that they don't even register the sound of someone loudly and repeatedly clearing their throat nearby, until that person actually speaks up. "Excuse me, Lovebirds," Mandy says out loud now, trying to get their attention with an unmistakable hint of amusement in her voice.
They reluctantly pull away from each other, lips slightly swollen from kissing, and turn their heads in Mandy's direction, just now realizing that someone turned some more music on again, some country ballad playing in the background.
Then a quick flash of panic crosses Tara's face, when she thinks that this is about their boys. That something must've happened, and someone called about Abel and Thomas. But before she can even say anything, Mandy speaks up.
"You two still interested in a room?" Mandy asks, looking from Jax to Tara and back again.
"Yeah." Jax nods when the words register with him, "Definitely."
And Mandy can't help but smirk a little at the way his eyes flicker to Tara's for a fraction of a second after he'd already answered, as if to look for her approval after the fact. How cute! "Well, it's your lucky day," Mandy replies.
"I thought they were all booked up," Tara wonders out loud. Suddenly feeling a little scared at the implication of having a room to disappear to now.
"One room had a broken heater, but the handyman was able to fix it," Mandy explains. "He's clearing out of there right now. It'll probably be about fifteen, maybe twenty minutes. I'll let the manager know to hold it for you." She points her thumb over her shoulder in the general direction of the motel, before she spins on her heels and walks back to the bar.
The spell they've been under is broken now, but that lasts only for a moment until they look back at each other, almost sheepishly, with heavy-lidded bedroom eyes, and blushing cheeks, and Tars again forgets all her worries. Their lips are drawn to each other like magnets once more, getting lost in yet another scorching, forceful kiss.
Tara's hands are slowly slipping from behind Jax's neck down his chest, he's wearing one of his blue plaid shirts, her personal favorite because it matches his eyes, and she can't help herself but begins to playfully unbutton it. He's just too overdressed for how warm it is in here, wearing this shirt, but she's surprised to realize after the first button that he's not wearing his usual white t-shirt underneath.
And for all his protesting earlier, he surely has taken a liking to her dress now, and the way it's allowing him to run his hands over the bare skin on her back, her arms, and her legs too, making her shiver in delight when he does so intentionally slowly.
So now she longs to do some of the same to him. Wants to feel some of his bare skin beneath her own roaming hands. And preferably now, right here, sort of out in the open where she still considers it safe, in a public place, before they get to the room where every touch becomes so much more complicated.
She finally gets the last button on his shirt undone. With the way she's sitting on his lap, she's pretty much obscuring the view from any potential onlookers, which makes it all the more exciting that nobody knows what she's doing. They're still kissing when she slowly slips her hands beneath and over his bare chest, teasing his nipples. Deliberately taking her time, letting her fingertips slide across his skin as lightly as a feather, enjoying the way it coaxes a small moaning sound from him against her lips.
She's encouraged by the way he kisses her even more passionately now, and she gently glides her hands down his chest, over his abdomen, tracing the defined lines of his six-pack, and stops at the waistband of his boxer briefs, before she teasingly slips just her fingertips inside without exploring much further.
At that Jax pulls back from the kiss rather abruptly, not enough that she can look him in the eyes, but just enough that their lips part and he can speak. His breathing is just as labored as hers, and his voice sounds almost rough, lazed with lust, "If you keep this up, Babe, we won't make it to the room."
It's a warning, no doubt, and his lips are back on hers, devouring her mouth again before she can even try to decide how far she's willing to take this tonight ... not just out here, but especially in the room.
And the fact that thought even crosses her mind in the heat of the moment, pretty much already tells her what she needs to know. So her fingers slip from his waistband again, and her hands instead just slide around his waist, toward his back so she can just pull him closer. Hug him, hold him against her instead of driving him insane, like he is doing to her.
But then she stops completely, her hands flat against his back, not sure exactly what it is she's feeling under the palm of her hands. His skin feels unusually rough beneath her touch, almost like sandpaper. On second thought, actually more like his back is covered in scabs all over. She quickly pulls away from the kiss and looks back at him, meeting his eyes, and she's sure that his confused expression matches hers to a T.
"What happened to your back?" She asks, too dazed and maybe a little bit too tipsy to make sense of it, before her hands leave his back and start tugging on his shirt, to get a look for herself.
But Jax grabs her hands, putting a stop to it. "It's nothing, Babe." He says, not meeting her eyes now, still sounding gruff, like he's had one too many whiskeys, but she knows he hasn't had any.
This isn't how he wanted to show her, how he wanted her to find out.
"Bullshit." Tara quips back and forcefully yanks her hands out of his. She lifts the back of his shirt and twists her body around his to peek beneath it before he has a chance to stop her again. "Oh, my God, Jax." She says his name in shock, not believing her own eyes. This can't be real!
But even in the dimly lit room there is no doubt and she can see as clear as day that the reaper is just gone. Covered up. Completely blacked out. And the implication of what it means hits her like a ton of bricks, knocking the wind out of her. She sits back up just as quickly and stares back at him, and this time he finally does meet her eyes.
She has so many things clouding her mind right now, but she asks the most obvious first, because she's got to start somewhere. "When did you do this?"
"The first night you were gone." He replies sounding rather solemnly, trying to gauge her reaction.
She hesitates, a sudden lump in her throat that she tries to swallow away, but it's hard and her voice takes on this very high-pitched tone when she asks, "Does this mean?"
Tears are already pooling in her eyes, and spill the moment when he nods along with his reply. "Yeah. I'm done with SAMCRO!" He says, and when she starts to cry he pulls her in his arms smiling now. "Those are happy tears, right?" He mumbles against her temple. "Or are you crying 'cause it looks like shit?"
A sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob escapes her throat, before she nods her head and confirms, "Happy tears." Then her voice still sounds unusually high as she continues to cry and adds, "I love it."
"I told you I was out." He reminds her, but truthfully he can't blame her for not taking him at his word months ago. He's broken too many promises in the past, how was she supposed to know he really meant it this time.
But she nods her head, "I know, you did." She allows him this moment of I-told-you-so, and won't dwell on the many times he's said it and didn't follow through. Her heart is so full of love for him right now, but it's also sad because she can't remember the last time she truly felt this way.
"Your room is ready." Mandy steps up out of nowhere to inform them, and disappears again just as quickly.
They share a long look as Jax begins to button his shirt back up, neither of them really sure what will come next, what will happen next.
The thought of sharing a room, or more precisely a bed, after all this makes Tara nervous, and even Jax seems a bit anxious too. Mostly because he isn't sure where Tara stands at this point, where her head is at. Is the reaper gone enough to have her trust him again?
He doesn't know and the last thing he wants to do is sabotage the progress they made because he couldn't control his urges.
X
After paying their tab at the bar, they're all bundled up again against the cold wind and snow as they venture outside.
He grabs his duffle bag from the backseat of his truck on the way to the front office to check in and pick up their room key.
They step quietly into the room, noting that it still feels cold, but the buzzing of the heater lets them know it's working and will surely warm the room up soon enough.
Jax puts his bag on the ground, and Tara does the same with hers, watching him close and lock the door behind him before he turns and steps further into the room.
They stand rather awkwardly facing each other now, and for a moment neither is sure what to say, or if to say anything at all. Isn't this the part where they're supposed to be all over each other?
He watches her fold her arms in front of herself, and it's pretty much her way of starting a lecture or building a wall of some sort around herself again. He knows this, and he wants, no, he needs to put a stop to it because he wants and needs her. He needs her to let him back in! So on a whim, he decides to let it all out, and tell it like it is, again. After all, in the past, his most poignant speeches have never been planned out beforehand, and neither is this one.
"Look, I know you deserve better -" He starts but Tara is quick to interject.
"Jax." She says, but he interrupts her in return.
"Just let me say this, Babe. I swear it'll just take a minute." He's pleading with her and when she nods, he leans back against the edge of the dresser, bracing his hands to the left and right of him, the look in his eyes a mixture of regret and determination directed at her, "You deserve better than what you got with me, Tara. And when I first showed up and you told me you met someone and moved on, I wish I could be the kind of man that's humble enough, mature enough to say congratulations, or comment what a great guy he is, what a lucky guy he is, and that I hope you'll both be happy. But how do you look at the woman you love and tell yourself it's time to walk away? I can't. I won't."
Jax shakes his head along to the words, "That will never happen, 'cause it would just be another lie. And I'm not gonna lie to you anymore. This thing of ours, our marriage ... I know what I've done. I broke your heart a million different ways, and I am so sorry. But since then, something has changed. Me! I know how to love you now. That man you always wanted me to be -I am that man! And I can be a husband now, and I can be a father. And I can give you everything that we were always meant to have if you just let me."
He can see the tears welling up in her eyes at his words and it gives him the courage, or maybe it's desperation, to take a few steps toward her and frame her face, looking down at her. "I need you more than you need me, trust me, I know that! But no one could possibly ever love anyone as much as I love you, Babe."
He brushes her long brown hair out of her face before he reaches down and grabs her hands tightly in his, raising them to place a kiss against both. "It's you and me, Tara. That's how it's supposed to be. You know that. It's Abel and Thomas and you ... and me." Then his hands reach back up to frame her face once more, and to wipe the tears from her cheeks that have spilled now. He leans down and kisses her, his lips brushing softly, sweetly against hers, and when he pulls back again from the kiss, his eyes search hers, waiting for her to react. Waiting for her to say something, or do something.
Tara wipes at her eyes, before she looks back up at him, giving him her full attention. She smiles through the tears, letting out the breath she's been holding, embarrassed by how much he gets to her, trying to play it off, "Wow, that was some speech."
She suddenly feels so incredibly nervous to be this close to him. She loves him so much, and everything he says is everything she always wanted to hear. And her heart is beating out of her chest, while she's trying to figure out what to say in return now. "My speech is a lot shorter." She finally adds, trying to sound lighthearted when she asks. "Wanna hear it?"
Jax nods his head in agreement, but she can see the insecurity in his eyes reflecting back at her, because he has no clue what she's about to say, and she realizes then that her badass biker, cocky Jackson Teller, is just as scared and nervous as she is.
But her heart is in her throat now, and for a moment she's not sure she can actually get the words past her lips, because she knows they'll change ... everything. Tara's heart is beating so fast that it makes her breathing sound almost labored. She summons every ounce of courage she possesses, and bites her lip, trying her best to channel her inner seductress, when she lets her hands glide down his chest.
She keeps eye contact with him and she knows he's still waiting for her to speak. But when her hands reach beneath his jacket, and start tugging to loosen his belt, his eyes cast down for a fraction of a second to see what she's doing, but then he quickly looks back up at her, blue eyes shining back at her and a sweet smile spreads on his face when the realization hits him what is happening in the same instant when Tara finally says, "Love me, Jackson!"
X
Author's Note: This is my longest chapter so far. I hope you enjoyed it. Please leave a few words with your thoughts. Thank you for continuing to read my story. xoxo, Skater
P.S. If you want a sort of visual for this chapter, as to what Jax and Tara are wearing, what the bar looks like, the snowstorm, the motel room even ... then look up images/clips from the movie 'Deadfall'. The look and scenes from that movie heavily inspired this chapter.