Warning: Smut!
X
Jax startles awake, lifting his head off of the pillow in a momentary state of panic, but instantly relaxes back down when he realizes Tara's still right here with him. Tugged naked, and slick against his side, his left arm wrapped around her, her head on his shoulder, her arm on his chest, and one of her legs carelessly, but comfortably draped across him. All naked skin on more naked skin!
He swipes his right hand down his face, and lets out a little sigh of relief. It wasn't just a dream!
He smells the top of her head, her brown hair, and it smells more like her perfume than her shampoo, and for a moment he is brought back to the time she was in a coma at St. Thomas.
Him sitting alone on the edge of the bed in their bedroom at night, the house empty, and too quiet to keep him from overanalyzing all his fucked up life's choices in his head once more. And how in the loneliest moments he'd reach for her perfume that was still sitting on the dresser untouched, the same one she was wearing now, but had forgotten to pack it the night she'd decided to leave him in a hurry.
And in a vain attempt to feel her here, to not feel so goddamn lonely, he'd gone so far as to spray it on her pillow, sometimes even on his own, to pretend she was still around just for a little while, just so he could finally close his eyes, and drift off to sleep. But because of it, because of that perfume, the smell lingered, and worked too well, and too often he had sleepily swept his hand across her side of their bed, or rolled over toward her forgetting for a moment what had happened, a split second of contentment, only to find her spot painfully empty, and his heart being crushed when the cruel reality of it all would come rushing back to him all at once. All of his failures as a husband, the lies, and the cheating, the countless broken promises, and how he hadn't protected her like he should have.
He vows to himself that he'll never fail her again, never break another promise to her, and will never let her get hurt again, especially not by his own doing.
And he's so thankful that they really stand a chance now to leave all of that behind them, can't imagine ever going back to a place where they don't wake up together like this. Loving, and holding one another. He sees a real future now as clear as day!
Jax looks at her then, a long hard look, yet smiles when he's taking in all those little features of her pretty face that he loves so much. He loves how she looks so content, and worry-free in her sleep at the moment, and he has to resist the urge to kiss her, doesn't want to wake her just yet, considering neither of them has barely gotten any real sleep at all.
He's not entirely sure if sleep-fucking is an actual term, but it is what best describes how they've spent the majority of their first night back together.
Falling asleep just to end up climbing back on top of one another, trying to get closer again, sleepily grinding until their bodies are reconnected, making love only half-awake, or half-asleep, however you want to look at it. Finding each other in the darkness, clumsily wrapped up in tangled sheets, her long hair getting caught in the stubble on his chin, and their bodies moving, and shifting almost like on auto-pilot, knowing just what to do, until they couldn't tell where one body ends, and the other begins.
No words exchanged, no drowsy whispered declarations of love, but it's all there anyways, being said in every caress, every touch, every thrust, every moan ... in their greedy hands, nimble fingers, lips seeking lips, tangled limbs, and their bodies gently, almost dreamily, rocking against one another over, and over until they'd both climax again.
Then drifting off to sleep once more, on or still in one another, clinging to the other person, stomach pressed to stomach, to eventually rouse just enough to start it all anew. This unrelenting feeling of never getting enough ... an obvious, yet measly attempt to make up for lost time! Or maybe it isn't that at all, maybe it's just their way of leaving all their crimes against one another behind, hiding them, burying them under a copious amount of love-making!
But whatever their reasons, right now, as he looks at her, he can't help but feel so utterly blissful, like butterflies in his stomach doing flips, there's this rush of euphoria at the knowledge that he managed to really get her back. She's his, all his, body, and soul, to touch, and kiss, and love, and it's goddamn ridiculous how equal parts happy, and also lucky that thought makes him feel.
Like the outlaw in him just got away with the heist of the fucking century! An immeasurable treasure he doesn't deserve ... her!
He just can't help himself, has to reach over, and take her hand that's resting flat against his chest in his, bringing it up to his lips to press a sweet kiss against her fingers. He has no idea what time it is, all he knows is that it's already light out, a little at least, that much he can tell even through the drawn curtains of their motel room window, but he still decides to close his eyes again, yawning widely, trying to get some more sleep after all. But before he dozes off, and goes back to sleep again, a small smile creeps on his face when he thinks about how she has thoroughly worn him out last night, and how downright satisfied he feels about that too.
X
A couple hours later they're both woken up by the ringing of a phone. Groggily, and in a haze they both blink their eyes awake, looking around perplexed for a moment, until Tara suddenly sits up in a panic beside him, realizing that it's neither of their cell phones, but that it's the phone in the room itself that's ringing off the hook.
"Oh shit." She curses as the events from last night slowly start to come back to her, and she practically climbs on top of Jax, straddling him, ignoring the delicious ache between her legs as she's leaning over his shoulder, one palm flat against his chest bracing herself, while she reaches out with her other hand for the black corded phone ringing on the nightstand on his side of the bed.
"Yes." She huffs into the phone as soon as the receiver is up to her ear, pausing for a moment to hear who's on the other end of the line, before she replies, "Christy, oh my God, I'm so sorry." A flash of guilt crosses her face when she meets Jax's eyes now, but he looks utterly unfazed by the fact that in last night's haze, they've completely forgotten about their children.
There's not a trace of guilt in his eyes, because he's more enthralled at the moment with her bare breasts right in front of him. But Tara carries on with the conversation, trying her best to ignore his hands gliding over her, and caressing her skin while she is trying to explain how they'd gotten to the motel room pretty late last night, and how she'd simply forgotten to call her, and give her this number, and so on, and so on...
The phone call carries on, and even though Jax can't hear what Christy is saying, several things are fairly obvious to figure out just based on Tara's rather long-winded replies alone.
One, Christy got the number to the motel from Mandy, the barkeep.
Two, the boys had fun at Greg's, they won't shut up about it, and are having fun at Christy's now, and are still not interested in talking to their parents for longer than a few measly seconds.
And three, Christy isn't mad that she didn't have the number, and is teasing Tara into spilling the beans about what could've possibly made her so forgetful last night.
As for Jax, he just seems a tad bit amused by Tara's attempt to not let Christy in just yet what has happened between them. And that fact in itself makes him want to continue teasing her even more, finding his own amusement by the way he's making Tara squirm while she's trying so hard to carry on this phone conversation instead.
But either way, his hands have reached up to hold her by her waist, while he has adjusted his position beneath her, sitting up, and scooting back against the headboard, and pulling her along with him. Then he leans forward, angling his head to the side so he can nip, and kiss away at her neck, while she's twisting, and shrugging her shoulders to give him the least amount of access. But Jax is undeterred by any of that, fighting her every step of the way, and his hands are cupping her breasts now too, his big callused thumbs flicking over her already hardened nipples repeatedly in his ongoing pursuit to tease her so obviously deliberately right now.
And it's distracting her, he can tell by the way Tara's agreeing with whatever Christy is going on, and on about, nodding, and saying 'Uh-huh' several times, all while she's playfully swatting his hands away from her nipples repeatedly, trying not to giggle at the faux offended look he's giving her each time. She's just not cut out for this particular kind of multitasking ... can't carry on a conversation about their boys, while he's role-playing some modern-day version of Casanova!
And it's as if Jax can sense what she's thinking, or maybe he's just losing his own patience, he suddenly holds out his hand, gives her a nod, and makes a gesture with his outstretched hand that says 'gimme'.
Tara doesn't comply though, unsure what exactly he's going to say, but he grabs the receiver out of her hand anyway, pulling it up to his own ear now against her protesting, stretching the curled black cable out with his other hand.
"Christy?" He says, "Hey, it's Jax. How are my boys?" A beat passes, and Tara searches his face, waiting to see where he's taking this conversation. "Look, we're not sure yet how the roads are this morning, but we still gotta get Tara's rental car towed, so there's a chance we might be stuck here another day. Are you still okay with keeping the little monsters until tomorrow night?" Tara's eyes flash with surprise, but also a hint of something else, mischief perhaps.
"I appreciate that." He answers in reply to Christy's obvious agreement. "I'll owe you one." He adds for good measure, and gives Tara a smile that's bright enough to light up the darkened room. Then he nods his head, like she had earlier, even though Christy clearly can't see him, "I don't kiss, and tell, darlin', but I'm sure Tara will fill you all in when we're back." He winks at Tara, and gives her a sly smile at Christy's amusing intrusiveness. "Alright, thanks, darlin'. Talk to you later.", and with that, he leans over, and hangs up the phone before he quickly turns all his attention back on her without missing a beat.
"Where were we, Babe?" He asks with an almost sleazy-looking grin, both his hands have reached around her, and are cupping her ass now, pulling her closer against his groin, and his a new growing erection.
Tara feigns innocence, "I think we were sleeping." She braces her hand against his shoulder this time, making a move to leave his lap, but before she gets anywhere, he's already flipped them over once again. Leaving her trapped naked beneath his heavier form, leering down at her for a moment, but then the look in his eyes gets all caring, and loving again when he notices the sudden change in the expression on her face.
He gently brushes her hair back, looking down at her concern now, his voice suddenly serious again when he asks, "What's wrong?"
Tara sighs, and looks away for a second, embarrassed by something. What that is becomes clear the moment she answers him. "I can't believe I forgot about the boys."
"Tara." He says her name like a plea, wanting her full attention, "We both had a little too much to drink, and -."
"No ... we didn't." She replies, cutting him off mid-sentence, because she knows she wasn't drunk. A little bit tipsy? Yeah, maybe! But not drunk, so she really can't let him blame her actions on the alcohol they've consumed.
He concedes after a quiet moment, nodding, "You're right." He really can't argue with her on that, the beers, and the shots weren't the problem, they'd been stretched out over too many hours to have had much of an effect on either of them, but he finishes the rest of his sentence now, which still rings true. "We just got caught up in the moment, got carried away ... but I think we both knew deep down that the boys are in good hands. If they'd been with anyone else, we would've remembered to call, and check in." He leans in to place a quick sweet kiss against her lips, "You're a real good mom, Tara. The boys have no idea how lucky they are to have you!"
He can see the tears beginning to pool in her eyes, and her chin starting to quiver at his words, and he quickly decides to turn this back around, "Hey, I didn't say that to make you cry, Babe." He brushes his knuckles across her cheek, before all seriousness leaves his face again, and he cracks a toothy grin her way instead, "I'm just trying to get laid here, you know?" He bucks his hips teasingly against hers too, and he knows it worked when Tara playfully slaps him on the shoulder, and even though a tear slipped free, and is rolling down from the corner of her eye, she's smiling now back up at him again too.
He wipes the tears away for her, leans down, and kisses her. Several sweet little innocent kisses, until her lips part for him, allowing his tongue entrance, and he kisses her hard, and passionately, while she wraps her arms, and legs around him, pulling him closer against her again.
And not unlike all throughout the night, their bodies reconnect once more, they get carried away in a tangle of limbs, and tender touches, and greedy kisses, until they end up rocking, and thrusting against each other, making love for the umpteenth time!
X
Tara's lying lazily in bed, a dreamy look on her face, stretching her long limbs out for a moment, eyes droopy in the aftermath of yet another orgasm, when Jax steps out of the bathroom, and climbs right back in bed with her in all his unabashed naked glory.
He settles down right beside her, snakes his arm in the hollow between her head, and shoulder, and turns to his side himself, his other hand gripping her hip, pulling her curvy behind slick back against his groin, and her back against his chest. He sweeps her long hair away, so he can kiss her neck, before his hand goes to rest flat against her stomach to hold her firmly against him, her own hands resting on top of his, holding on to him, fingers intertwining.
He places a few sweet kisses against the crook of her neck, his stubble scratching her lightly, but she actually likes the feel of it, letting out a small sigh of contentment as they both close their eyes, and cuddle against each other like this for a long silent moment.
But before they drift off to sleep again, Tara suddenly speaks up. "I should probably call the rental company." She mumbles, interrupting their romantic moment with the unpleasantries that tend to come with real life. "I need to figure out how I'll get my suitcase back too."
He's pretty tired, comfortable too, and even a little turned on again already by the way she's nestled against him, but he knows she's right, and that it's time to get back to reality. They can't stay in this little bubble they've created forever, some things need to be taken care of.
They need to find out how the roads are, call the rental car place, find their phones, and charge them, see if this room is even available another night, etcetera, etcetera ...all that pesky yet necessary stuff you've got no choice than to handle when you're an adult.
"I'll call them for you, Babe. Right now." He says, and gives her butt cheek a little smack, urging her on to move. "You got the papers?" He asks, kissing her neck one last time before he's pushing himself up in a sitting position already. Maybe if they get everything taken care of early on, they can still salvage the rest of the day, spending it in bed, sleeping, and fucking without a worry in the world for once.
He watches her scoot to the edge of the bed, already missing her body heat against him, with her back turned to him when she's wrapping the sheet around her in a show of modesty that under the current circumstances makes him want to laugh out loud at her. But he just bites his lip instead, trying his best to contain the chuckle that threatens to spill from his throat, after all, this is all part of her charm.
This is just how she is, always has been. Everything has its time, and place, nakedness has its time and place, and even though he's been allowed to see, and touch every part of her since last night, she isn't about to bend over naked in front of him while she's digging through her carry-on bag in search of her rental car agreement ... that much is clear.
And honestly, that's perfectly alright with him, he thinks to himself with a lingering smirk still watching her from his seat on the bed. He'll just make her bend over naked for him later, as a matter of fact, he can think of all sorts of compromising positions he'd like to put her in without that sheet wrapped around her, later of course, after everything's been taken care of.
She returns back to bed, the sheet still wrapped around her looking like some Roman goddess, with a few folded-up pieces of paper, and her driver's license in her hand that she quickly hands over to him.
He takes everything from her, but then puts it on the nightstand beside him. "Come here." He demands, patting the spot right beside him, before he adds. "I want some of that." Tugging on the sheet to get her to come closer again, and she wordlessly complies, unwrapping herself from the sheet again, and sits down with her back against the headboard right beside him. Allowing him to pull some of the sheets over himself too, up to his waist at least, while she rests her head against his shoulder sleepily again.
He reaches for a cigarette from the pack on the nightstand beside him, and quickly lights one up, taking a few long drags, before letting the cigarette hang from the corner of his mouth. Then he puts the paperwork in his lap in front of him, looking it over for a few minutes, before he reaches for the phone, dialing the 1-800 number they'd provided her with at the time of check-out.
She watches, and listens in on him, and she likes this side of him, the one that handles the stuff for her, especially this kind of crap that she knows nothing about, and honestly hates to deal with herself. She has to get on the phone herself for just a moment, because the rental car was in her name after all, but after that, he takes over completely.
He's so confident when he talks, she knows it's because this falls into the realm of his expertise too. It's not all outlaw stuff, guns, and violence, and prison etiquette that he has a vast knowledge of. He started working at T-M when he was just fifteen years old, then due to JT's will even become part owner on the day he'd turned eighteen, and therefore they can't pull one over on him, like they surely would have on her.
He knows just what to say, knows how these contracts work, knows the lingo, and what's covered in the insurance, and what's not covered. But still, she silently thanks God for her own foresight to get the slightly more expensive coverage when they'd offered it to her because of the impending storm at the time!
And sure enough, before he hangs up, it's all been handled at no extra cost to her. How exactly that all works, she's not sure, all she knows is that by tomorrow the roads should be cleared enough, the tow truck will be here first thing tomorrow morning, and they'll meet them right here in this truck stop parking lot, so she can get her suitcase before they tow the car off to the nearest authorized repair shop.
"Thank you." She purrs against his ear, and places a few little kisses against his shoulder, clutching the sheet to her bare breasts, but he leans in for more, and so does she, meeting in the middle for another little kiss.
He flicks the ash off of the tip of his second cigarette into the ashtray beside him, before he holds it out to her to take. Tara takes it, and raises it up to her lips, he watches her a little curiously, smiling at her when she takes a drag. She slowly exhales away from him, before she turns back to face him, handing him the cigarette back. "What?" She finally asks, raising her eyebrows, and smiling a little herself at the amused look displayed on his face.
"I was just thinking about the first time you, and I shared a smoke. Remember?" He takes a drag now too, before flicking more ash off of the end, and looking back at her, waiting for her reply.
"Yeah..." She replies nodding when the memory of it comes back to her like it was yesterday, and she meets his eyes, smiling through her next words. "You said I had a very sexy mouth. Made me blush."
He laughs at that, as if he's just now realizing how cheesy that line was, but still, he adds, "You did though, ... And still do."
She rests her head against his shoulder again in absolute happiness, and continues to reminisce about the start of their high school relationship, "You know, I only smoked to impress you." She confesses for the first time, holding her hand out, and he hands the smoke back to her again.
"Figures." He says with an all of a sudden more serious tone to his voice. "I knew you had the hots for me right from the start, Babe."
But he can't hold out for long, and cracks a smirk, unable to stay serious another second longer when he sees the disbelieving look she's giving him before she rolls her eyes at him. He curls his arm around her neck, pulls her closer, and kisses her again, more passionately this time, instead of just another quick peck.
He groans against her mouth, longing for more of her again, before he forces himself to pull away, meeting her eyes, raising his eyebrows in disbelief at the both of them, "This is crazy, Babe."
"I know." Tara nods her head in agreement, feeling that same kind of heat surge back down to her core.
She hands the cigarette back to him, that same look of longing in her eyes again too, but she forces herself away from his warm body, and inviting muscles. "Let's get out of this bed, take a shower, get dressed ..." She scoots, and swings her legs off of her side of the bed, pulling the sheet along with her for just a second as she continues to ramble on. "... make sure we even have a room tonight, maybe get a bite to eat too." She stretches her arms up over her head for a moment, long, and languid, trying to get some blood flowing to other places than just between her thighs, before she glances back at him over her shoulder, watching him finish off the last bit of the cigarette. "Are you hungry?" Anything to distract from this magnet-like pull she's feeling toward him. This just isn't normal!
Now that she mentions it, he can almost hear his stomach growl, "Yeah, I'm starving." He stubs the cigarette out in the ashtray, and gets out of bed himself, following her lead for a change.
Tara leaves the sheet in a crumpled heap near the foot of the bed on her side, and steps naked into the bathroom, just a few steps ahead of him. She turns the water in the shower on, waiting for it to turn hot enough to step under, while he steps up behind her, both his arms encircling her torso, and pulling her slick back against him again. Then he brushes her hair aside, off of her shoulder, and begins to kiss a trail from her shoulder over to the crook of her neck.
She closes her eyes, and tilts her head to the side, giving him easier access that way, and he takes the hint, and starts to nip, and kiss all of the right spots. She arches her back just a little, seductively pushing her curvy behind harder against him.
He rocks his hips against her in return, and lets out a little approving grunt against her neck, his breath hot against her skin, letting her know that he likes that, before he raises his hands to teasingly caress her breasts at the same time. So much for getting out of bed, and taking care of things!
Tara forces herself to open her eyes, and stretches out her hand, testing the water temperature, before she pulls his hand off of her chest, and quickly tugs him into the shower stall along with her. She spins around, and is back in his arms, face to face now, perched up on her tippy-toes, kissing him again.
Jax runs his rough hands slowly down her already slick back, before he cups her shapely ass with both hands, pulling her snug against him, his tongue dueling with hers in a passionate kiss at the same time as the hot water pounds mercilessly down on them both. They continue to just stand like this for a few long moments, hearts beating out of their chests, ragged breathing, until Jax finally snaps. Not able to wait for another second longer, he suddenly grabs her, and presses her back hard against the white bathroom tiles right behind her, trapping her in place between him, and the wall.
Tara gasps out in shock when her back connects with the cold surface of the wall, but all that is quickly forgotten when Jax expertly hikes up both her legs around his waist in one quick move, hoisting her further up against the wall of the shower stall, standing or rather wedging himself between her wide open thighs.
Tara wraps her arms around his neck, desperately clinging to him, holding on with every ounce of strength she has left, which isn't much considering they've been at this since late last night. She's so utterly lost in the scorching kiss that's sending different nerves ablaze all over, while he starts to grind his hips almost lazily, slowly against hers a couple of times.
But then Jax suddenly jolts her up a little higher, adjusting his grip on her slippery thighs, but never breaking the kiss when Tara's the one finally reaching between them, trying to snake her hand down the front of them. He pulls his hips away just enough so she can encircle, and direct him in the right position, before she pulls her hand away, clinging to his neck again, and he surges forward, slipping into her in one quick hard thrust, filling her completely while they both moan out in unison. They quickly find their perfect rhythm again, loving each other until the water starts to lose some of that warmth, and they succumb to yet another mind-blowing orgasm.
X
Tara's honestly feeling a little weak in the knees when she's wrapping the towel tightly around her, carefully tucking the hem of it in right above her breast bone so it will stay in place. She wipes her hand across the steamed-up mirror right above the sink to get a look at herself. God, she's looking like such a mess, she thinks to herself, yet can't help but smile at her own reflection just a little too.
Her usually pale skin looks very pinkish right now, and she's sure it's not just the remaining flush from this latest climax, but the heat of the water, and Jax's beard stubble surely has something to do with it too. And then there was her long brown hair ... Oh God, her hair!
She spreads her fingers, and tries to run her hands through her tangled wet mess, but it's almost impossible to do so, getting caught in knot after knot. It's wet, hanging down lifeless in unflattering clumpy strands, and in the way, it is practically matted on the back of her head from the constant friction against the sheets there is simply no denying the glaringly obvious, a blind man could see what she's been up to ... she looks like she's been thoroughly fucked!
Nonetheless, she reaches for the blow-dryer that's mounted on the wall, thankful that this little outdated motel at least still has this commodity available to her. She bends over, flipping her hair over upside down, and begins to dry it with the device as well as she can.
Once it's almost completely dry, she tries to untangle it once more with her hands, making it look presentable as best as she can, since Jax didn't bother to pack a hairbrush, and hers was packed away in the trunk of her rental car in a ditch somewhere.
Even though the bathroom fan is running obnoxiously loud, she can hear there's a knock on the motel room door, and then she can hear Jax talking to someone, but she can't make out the words, and since she's dressed in nothing but a towel, she decides to stay put until the coast is clear again, examining herself a little more in the mirror while she waits.
As she stands still, waiting for a moment, she suddenly becomes aware of something liquid-like running down the inside of her thighs. She's got a pretty good idea what it is, but lifts the front of her towel just enough to take a peek anyways. She is right with her assumption, but she's not sure why it isn't until this moment that a sudden realization hits her like a ton of bricks. But then she hears the front door to the motel room fall shut again, and she quickly reaches for a handful of toilet paper to wipe herself clean, before she discards it into the trash can beside the toilet.
She finally opens the bathroom door, careful to just glance into the room first, making sure it's just Jax in there alone, before she completely steps in, clutching her towel as if it might fall off of her any second.
Jax is just standing there, leaning against the dresser across from the bed, looking up, and smiling at her for a second, before he returns his full attention again to his cell phone and the charger he's fumbling with. He's already fully dressed, shoes, and all, ready to go except for his jacket, so she's starting to look around the floor in search of her clothes now too.
Tara's grateful to see that Jax had already picked them up for her, and had draped them over the back of one of the wooden chairs, along with her black shoes sitting neatly right below as well. She grabs them all, steps back toward the bed, and takes a seat to get dressed, lost in her own thoughts.
"Are you alright?" Jax asks her out of the blue, catching her off guard. She was not entirely sure why he was asking, but she couldn't help but wonder if the look on her face was what was giving her away.
She tries to smile again for his benefit, not sure though if it comes across as genuine, but for a moment she's still tempted to just lie, and answer 'yes', because despite his question he still looks so stupidly happy at the moment, and the last thing she wants to do right now is somehow sour the mood.
Then right at that exact moment she realizes that her stack of clothing doesn't contain her panties, and she needs her panties for very obvious reasons, so she answers with a question of her own instead, hoping he won't notice the slight. "Um ... have you seen my panties?"
Jax looks perplexed for just a second, before a row of horizontal lines appears on his forehead when his eyes narrow on her a little, and it's obvious that she hasn't fooled him in the least. He has clearly caught on to that not-so-subtle change in her, but she's thankful that he's not pushing her on it right now, and instead just answers her question. "Sorry, Babe, I haven't. But I can help you look." He offers, and before she can even say anything in reply, he has already put his phone aside, and is crouching down on his knees, looking under the bed in search of the little piece of black cloth.
"They gotta be here somewhere, because I vividly remember taking them off of you." He adds for good measure, and shoots her a sly grin from the other side of the bed when he comes to a stand again.
Tara returns a little smile at his remark, while she's actively searching now too, moving the blanket, and the sheet on the bed around, reaching her hand into the space between the headboard, and mattress, feeling her way along to see if it might've gotten stuck in there somehow, while Jax starts the same process on the other side of the bed, their empty hands meeting near the middle.
Then something catches Jax's eyes, and a big smirk crosses his unshaven face when he reaches behind the headboard and produces the stretchy lacy garment. "Found 'em." He says, twirling it around on one finger like a little flag before he tosses it over to her.
Apparently, it had somehow ended up sitting on top of one of the pillows Jax had wedged in there last night in an attempt to keep the wooden headboard from banging the wall when they made love.
"Thanks," Tara replies with a genuinely grateful smile, and quickly turns to sit, pulling the undergarment up her legs to put them on. The lacy-see-through crotch part is downright rigid from how wet she'd been down there last night. She's gotta admit she's a bit grossed out by it, and it suddenly dawns on her that she can't even remember the last time she'd been in a walk-of-shame-type situation, where she'd have no other choice than to be getting dressed in the same dirty panties the next morning.
She puts those thoughts back out of her mind, slips on her jeans, and is just about to pull that paillette-covered top on too, when Jax's voice startles her from somewhere behind her. "I've got some warmer shirts than that for you, Babe." Right, it's so cozy, and warm in here, that it's easy to forget how cold it is out there. Yes, she can't help but wonder if it's less her warmth he's truly concerned with, or rather the amount of skin, and cleavage it reveals.
She stops dead in her tracks, clutching the garment to her bare breasts, while she follows him over to where his faded-green military duffle bag is sitting on the other wooden chair. He starts to rifle through it, pulls a handful of shirts out for her, handing them all to her to pick, and choose from, but then tries to retract one, which happens to be the one that she'd just decided on. "I was wearing that one last night." He tries to explain. She remembers, it's her favorite.
"I know." She replies before she raises the shirt up to her nose, giving it a good sniff test, kind of expecting it to smell like the bar, like a mixture of greasy food, alcohol, and cigarettes, but she's pleasantly surprised that it instead just smells like him, and she loves it.
"This will work." She answers with a sheepish smile on her lips now. She can see that he's a little amused too by the fact that she would pick his dirty shirt over the other clean ones, but she's trying her best to ignore the way he's raised his eyebrows at her, or the way the corners of lips are just slightly tugging upward.
"You wouldn't happen to have an extra bra in there too?" She asks, smiling again, and already slipping her arms in the shirt, not actually waiting for his reply to her obvious attempt to lighten the mood some more again, to throw him off her scent.
"Shit." He snaps his fingers in a faux show of distress, like he just remembered something very important. "I knew I was forgetting something." He blurts out playing along, enjoying her little joke, before he adds. "Forgot my damn tampons too."
Tara lets out a little laugh at that, and begins buttoning up her shirt, all the while her mind going back to the fact that she herself might not be in need of tampons again for the next nine months or so.
"I think they sell those at the gas station, so you're in luck, Teller." She carries on with their banter, still trying to hide her feelings, before she says in a suddenly more serious tone of voice again. "Seriously though, I do need a few other things myself."
"Like what?" He inquires, semi-folding the other shirts back up before he stashes them into the bag again.
She's leaning back against the little round table behind her, trying to fix the collar on her shirt, and folding the too-long sleeves over a little, while she meets his eyes again. "I could use a hairbrush, deodorant, a toothbrush, a razor, um ... a phone charger too." She rambles out the items on the list she's made up inside her head. A bra would be nice, and clean underwear too, but doesn't say those things out loud. She's a little frustrated with herself that everything she needs is in her suitcase, stuck in the damn trunk of that goddamn rental car.
Jax dives his hand right back into his duffle bag, rifling through it again, until he produces his personal hygiene bag, all black leather with the Harley Davidson emblem on it. He quickly unzips it, looking through it for a moment as well, before he pulls out a toothbrush, still wrapped up in the original packaging, and unceremoniously hands it to her, along with a half-empty tube of toothpaste. "And you can use my charger too, my deodorant, whatever you need ... you're my old lady, so what's mine is yours." He says sincerely, catching her eye.
"Thank you." She answers, clearly touched by his choice of words, leans in, and kisses his cheek.
"You're welcome." He answers, pulling out his own toothbrush before he follows her along into the bathroom to brush his teeth too.
They brush their teeth side by side in an awkward silence for several minutes, but even now he can't keep his hands off of her, has to touch her, and has his hand resting on her lower back while they're standing in front of the little sink.
He's gurgling a mouthful of water before he spits it into the sink, and then they're both rinsing their toothbrushes off, before wiping their mouths dry with a towel, glancing at each other every now, and then but neither one is saying a word. The banter all but vanished as if it never happened in the first place!
Tara's got her little makeup bag in her hand now, and starts rifling through it, trying to ignore his penetrating gaze she can feel on her, and the way it's making her nervous despite her best effort.
He watches her apply some mascara to her eyes, waiting, and wishing she'd just spill the beans on her own, come on out, and tell him what's suddenly bothering her. She was so happy earlier, he doesn't understand what happened. So he waits, holding back for as long as he can, until he just can't bite his tongue any longer, and gets right to the point. "What's on your mind, Babe?"
She stops applying the mascara, and looks over at him with raised eyebrows, holding the little wand as if frozen in place in the air. "What do you mean?"
Jax shakes his head at her, folding his arms across his chest, and leans against the doorframe that leads to the bedroom behind him, trying to come off as more casual than he feels right now. "Look, I can tell something's up. So just ... tell me." He urges her on, can't stand the thought that she's keeping something that's bothering her from him already. He wonders for a second if it's the excessive amount of sex they've been having that is starting to get to her. But that's an easy fix, he's got no problem with laying off her for the rest of the weekend, if that's what it takes to ease her mind again.
She turns to look at her reflection in the mirror, focusing back on her eye makeup once more, finishing up in a hurry, before she closes the mascara, and turns to look back at him now to give him her undivided attention. She's resting her hip against the sink beside her, for a second her fingers are fiddling nervously with the last couple of buttons on her shirt, well, technically his shirt, before she folds her arms in front of her chest too, mimicking his stance almost to a T.
She hesitates for a moment, going over the words in her head, but finally just comes right out with it, wording it as simply as she can that gets straight to the point of the issue at hand. "I'm not on any birth control." She searches his face, waiting for some kind of a reaction from him, but unsure what to make with the one she's receiving, because at first, his face is like a blank slate.
In her head this is still such a touchy subject, because the fake baby, and fake miscarriage still cripples her with tremendous guilt every time she lets her mind go there, so she can't even begin to imagine how it must make him feel, having been on the receiving end of that horrendous lie.
Jax hadn't known for sure if she was or wasn't taking something, and quite frankly, deep down he'd hoped for the latter, because the thought of having another kid with her eluded him. But still, his eyebrows scrunch together while he's letting her words, and the meaning sink in, trying to read between the lines, and what's got her all worked up about it.
They're married for Christ's sake, so he's left a bit puzzled, because he can't find the problem in what she'd just said, so he simply inquires further, raising his eyebrows in curiosity. "And ...?" He says, leaving the rest open-ended for her to fill in, and elaborate as she pleases.
Tara looks just as perplexed as he does, maybe even more so when she's shaking her head a little, and repeats the same words again, with more emphasis on the word 'not' this time. "I'm not on any birth control."
"Yeah, I got that," Jax replies almost flippantly, without missing a beat. "But why are you telling me that?" His turn to be blunt with her, coming right out with what he doesn't get, and doesn't understand.
"I'm telling you because ..." She starts to say in reply, but then the words trail off, and she averts her eyes for a moment, trying to think of another way to say this, a better way to put this. She swallows the newly formed lump in her throat, and looks back up at him when she says, "I was just wondering if you have an opinion on that, you know? Whether or not we should start using protection?" The tone in her voice sounds very unsure, but the words she used can't possibly be any more clearer than that.
He looks a bit confused again, and quickly shakes his head at the notion, "Why the hell would we do that?" But before Tara has even a chance to reply, he adds, "Besides, it's a little late at this point, don't you think?" He looks a little smug the way he raises his eyebrows at her, a hint of amusement sparkling in his eyes back at her, gauging her reaction.
"Yeah, I suppose that's true." She agrees, the hint of an embarrassed smile tugging up the corners of her lips too as she thinks about it, looking away from him again for a second. He's got a valid point there, they have been going at it like rabbits.
"Do you want another baby?" He suddenly blurts the question out rather bluntly, but with it addressing the elephant in the room between them.
Tara's heart is speeding up, she can practically feel the blood pumping faster through her veins when she hears him ask the question that's been hanging in the air between them. It hits her like a punch to the gut at first, but secretly she's so glad he's the one to say it, to ask her, because there is no way in hell that she could bring herself to ask him.
Because it seems downright cruel, maybe evil even, for her to ask him such a thing after what she's done. She can't look him in the eye now as the memory of it all comes rushing back to her.
The look of devastation in his eyes when Margaret had shown him to her office, where she sat covered in blood stains ready for the final act. The way he clung to her hand, not wanting to leave her when the nurse tried to usher him out of the exam room. At the time she thought this was her only way to get her boys out, but in hindsight, it all looks so glaringly wrong on so many different levels. How could she have hurt him like this?
She swallows hard, trying to moisten her dry throat when she realizes that she hasn't answered him yet. Do you want another baby? Back then she really didn't, it was hard enough to worry, and protect the two babies she already had, but things were so very different now.
She survived, and he was out, and they were all happy, and safe now.
She already nods her head before the word even slips out of her mouth, "Yeah." She raises her head now, and meets his eyes again, nodding again, then cocking her head to the side a little in the way that she does, with just the hint of a smile. "I mean, yes, I do ... eventually." She adds that last word with a bit of hesitation, but refrains from saying what she really means. That getting pregnant right away might be a bit hasty considering they've really gotten back together just last night.
Yet even as that thought runs through her mind, she's painfully aware of the fact that she's smack in the middle of her most fertile days at the moment, which she realizes now is what's partly to blame for her current amplified libido.
But she also realizes that all this concern of hers comes just a little too late, because not only had she forgotten about Abel, and Thomas in the lusty daze that was last night, but apparently any future offspring, or rather the prevention of such had completely slipped her mind too.
She's done the math in her head just a short while ago, knows how many days it's been since she's had her last period, and based on that, there's a very good chance she could already be knocked up this very moment. But then again, there's no reason for him to know that, because it's mere speculation on her part at this point.
"Me too, Babe." He surprises her when he answers the question she couldn't bring herself to actually word out loud, and he does so with a happy smile on his lips.
He unfolds his arms, and steps toward her, reaching out for her hands, his thumbs rubbing soothingly over the back of her fingers, then the back of her hands too.
Jax looks right at her then, pursing his lips a little, and as if he's finally figured out why this subject has her so worked up, he adds, "I still want that little girl, you know? Strong, and beautiful like you!"
Tears prick at her eyes now, and she quickly looks away from him, pulling her hand out of his to wipe at her face instead. Jesus Christ, she's so ashamed!
"Tara!" Jax says her name like a prayer, and reaches back out for her, framing her face this time to force her to look back up at him, won't allow her to look away. "It's alright." He reassures her that there's not a trace of anger left in him about what she's done. "All that shit's in the past, Babe!"
He can see the guilt, the shame, and the hurt reflecting back at him in her hazel-green eyes, so he wants to make something perfectly clear, in case it wasn't clear before. "I forgive you!" He suddenly says, the look in his eyes matching the serious tone of his voice.
"Really?" Tara asks, her voice an octave higher again, on the brink of tears still. "Just like that?" She asks with such hesitance in her voice that it breaks his heart.
"Yeah, really," Jax reassures her by nodding his head. They've both done so much damage to one another, it's time to let it go, and move on. "Let's leave all of our sins in the past, start over, start fresh with a clean slate." He leans in, and presses a sweet kiss against her lips for a long moment, before he pulls away again, and looks right back at her, his blue eyes connecting with her hazel-green ones when he says. "I love you, Babe."
Tara smiles softly, clearly still a little unsure if being forgiven could possibly be as simple as this, but she's holding his gaze, trying to appear as brave as he believes her to be when she answers him. "I love you too, Jackson."
She wraps her arms around him, and he pulls her into his arms as well, clinging to each other for a long silent moment. In love, and finally back to the unadulterated bliss again they'd found themselves in since last night.
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Author's Note: I hope you like this one, and will leave me a few words. Thank you.