Chapter 21
Mistlynn hadn't managed to sneak away from dinner as she had originally hoped. She had planned on sneaking into the dining hall to sneak a roll and goblet of wine and slip back out. Just as she was about to escape the roomsneak back out, she ran into a solid chest.
"Now that is just a shameful waste of good wine." Fili admonished; playfulness evident in his voicetone.
She groaned as she looked down at the spots on his jacket. "I'm so sorry Fili. I was just eager to get back to my room."
"And deprive us of your delightful company? Really Irak'namad that's just hurtful." Despite his jovial tone he was giving her a worried look.
"Really Fili? Stop calling me that. CI want you to call me by my name." Mistlynn grumbled as she attempted to wipe off the wine on his jacket while avoiding his gaze.
Fili laughed "That's what you are! If anyone outside our circle heard me call you by your given name…"
Mistlynn gave him a non-threatening glare. "I don't care, itsit's weirdodd. You and Kili are my friends."
"And now you are family. And you should be joining us at our family table. Not sneaking off to your rooms."
Mistlynn's nose wrinkled as she pursed her lips into a pout. "You sound like your mother." She grumbled as she took Fili's arm that he held out for her.
"I am sorry that Uncle has been so busy. It is for a very good reason, I promise you. He was just bragging to everyone in the council room today how you had the Broadbeam emissary by histhe beard by the time your negotiations were over."
Mistlynn couldn't help the giggle that escaped her. "I didn't appreciate how he kept looking at my ears, as if he were expecting points to burst from them at any given moment."
Fili snorted. "If he doubted your constitution as a dwarrowdam before, I doubt he is questioning it now. You make Amad and Gemlinn look positively demure."
They approached the table in the private dining room for the royal family. Thorin, right after reclaiming Erebor, commissioned a giant round table to be made. He didn't want to sit at the head of a table that was reserved for his family and closest friends who supported him through the hardest and most dangerous of times. The company that had followed him to reclaim Erebor were given titles and apartments befitting nobles. Mistlynn had been surprised by this at first, but she couldn't imagine it any other way after she had grown accustomed to the closeness they all shared.
Fili pulled a seat back, motioning for her to sit before he took a seat beside her. She watched as their friends began to file into the room, immersed in their own conversations. She was fond of each and every one of them and she felt the pang of guilt that she tried to sneak away before they had arrived. She sat back and observed everyone as they settled into their seats all the while continuing their interactions. She felt the sadness inside dissipate slightly in their presence and she felt herself relax against the back of her chair.
Kili collapsed in the seat on the other side of Fili. "I am starving." He was grinning from ear to ear. "I could smell the roast from the front gatesgates, and it was absolute agony."
Mistlynn couldn't help the amused snort that escaped her at his choice of dramatic words. "Speaking of agony, brother…."
Fili sputtered in his goblet and started to shake his head emphatically. "Don't you dare you heathen spawn."
"I heard from Dori, who heard from Bofur that a certain dam …"
"Do not speak her name." Fili groaned.
"Tillia…" Kili leaned across his brother in attempt to make full eye contact with Mistlynn. "Was trying to get my poor brother alone after he finished his tours in the mines."
Mistlynn felt herself scowl as her eyebrow raised pointedly at Fili. "Fili, you promised you would tell me if any dams started to bother you again." She chided him.
Fili scowled at his brother. "I am a grown Dwarrow for Mahal's sake. I can handle it myself."
"I heard she had her sights set on Dain's oldest son Thorin III, until we reclaimed the mountain. Her and her family made no waste of time in resettling here. Her and her Amad have made it well known their intentions to catch themselves a Durin." Dori sniffed, as if the young dam's name offended every one of his senses.
Mistlynn's eyes narrowed. "The dark blonde dam with the dresses that look tikelike they belong on top of a cake?"
The table erupted in laughter at her words. She hadn't realized everyone had started listening to their conversation. Fili groaned as he began to rub the back of his neck in embarrassment.
"Aye! That's the one!" Bofur nodded as he poured a goblet of wine for Raila then another filled with water for Coryn who sat next to her sister.
Raila was giving Fili a sympathetic look. "I remember her mother was no better." Her soft voice had an edge of warning to it. "I was youngyoung, but I knew what her and her sister were trying to do and catch the eye of the young noble Dwarrow'sboys."
Mistlynn felt herself bristle at that. Her hands clenched in her lap as she gave Fili a pointed look. "Do I need to have a little chat with this Miss Tillia?"
Fili's eyes became wide as saucers. "What? No, Mist that is not necessary."
"It may be necessary." Gemlinn spoke up from across the table, her tone serious. "You don't want that wretched female to corner you and force your hand by creating a scene that looks like you both are compromised. She would shout it out from the peaks of this mountain to ensure your reputation would be ruined if you didn't wed her. Who better to deter her than the Queen."
"Well, that settles that." Mistlynn grabbed her goblet and took a hearty drink. "I'll speak with her tomorrow."
"Just have Amad talk to her Mist. You dontdon't need to trouble yourself." Fili grumbled as he attempted to cover his expression behind his goblet.
Mistlynn snorted. "Why would I let Dis have all the fun? IveI've been aching for the chance to stretch my legs and shoot my bow. If she can pass my simple test, she may be worthy of some noble Dwarrow, I'll just make it abundantly clear that won't be you, my dear would be a good bonding experience between Queen and courtier."
The table fell silent. Bombur and his entire family had filed in and even they sat quiet after Mistlynns comment. She took another sip, unbothered by the fact everyone was staring at her.
"Test? My Queen?" Nori's eyes were twinkling brightly as he smirked. Nori had the same sense of humor she did, and she found herself quite fond of her husband's spymaster.
"Yes, a test. I will give her a 15-minute start in the wood, If she can get through to the clearing on the other side with the target still intact on her headhead, I will help her in her social ladder climbing endeavors." She explained coolly, as if it was the most simplesimplest of tasks to expect. "I'll be sure to have her dress in browns and instruct her to zig zag. If only to give me some sport at the very least."
Kili was the first to lose the fight not to laugh, and soon the room erupted once again in raucous laughter. Even Fili found himself laughing as he covered his face with his hands.
"Goodness me. What did we miss?" Dis walked in the room, quickly followed by Bilbo, Balin, Dwalin and Thorin.
"Nothing Amad." Fili laughed, still slightly mortified over the topic of their discussion.
"I heard something about zig zagging and sport." Thorin's deep baritone made a shiver run down Mistlynn's spine. She cursed his power to still elicit that reaction from her from just hearing his voice alone. She tried to keep her focus ahead as she felt him slide into the chair next to her. She felt a bristle of irritation trickle under her skin at his presence. So now he chooses to show up. Days had passed since they have had a moment to acknowledge each other's presence, let alone talk. It was easier to feel irritation and anger than sadness and unworthiness that had been clinging to her lately like a second skin lately.
"Nothing to trouble yourself over. I have it well under control. Nori will be more than willing to help meme, I am sure." She smiled sweetly, still not looking over at Thorin even though she could feel his gaze boring into the side of her face.
Nori chuckled as he raised his goblet to her. "I would be honored to help you with such a task. It will be most amusing for me."
"Not to mention the event of this new year." Bofur chortled.
"It would be the perfect occasion to try out the new marinade for roasted boar." Bombur added as he rubbed his hands together eagerly. More laughter ensued, leaving the newcomers confused as to what they missed.
Thorin shifted uncomfortably in his seat, fully aware that Mistlynn was purposefully refusing to acknowledge his presence. 'Great.' He braced himself for whatever unknown was awaiting him after dinner. It had been so long since they had been at odds with each other, not since their courtship began.
The servers began to bring the food in and set it at the table in front of them, and everyone began to dig in. Dis was unfortunately on the other side of Kili since he had Tauriel on a secret errand to retrieve certain documents from Thranduil on the history of Menegroth and their history with the Dwarves of Belegost and Nogrod.
A loud gasp from Dis drew his attention over to her and his nephews. Fili was once again red faced while Kili grinned as his sisters face grew dark with anger. "She did what now?"
"Amad, it was fine. Bofur and Nori stayed with me. They didn't leave me alone no matter her attempts."
"Insolent twit." Dis seethed as she took a gulp of her wine. "Mistlynn, you have my support for your trial."
"You would really subject some poor Dwarrow to be matched with her?" Fili looked between Dis and Mistlynn incredulously.
Mistlynn actually threw her head back and laughed. "Do you think I would miss my target?" Her green eyes twinkled mischievously. She turned back to her plate and began to cut her meat before continuing. "Actually, let me rephrase that. Have you ever seen me miss my target?"
"Well, actually …no." Fili surmised as he sat back in his chair. His complexion was slowly returning to its normal shade.
"Exactly. And I didn't specify which noble I would pair her with. My brother is a prince, I am sure he wouldn't object taking her as his Queen and broodmare. One doesn't need any intelligence or skill to fulfill that position. I would know."
Kili snorted into his goblet as the conversations around the table quietened. Thorin paused eating his dinner to look at her in shock as he watched Mistlynn daintily dab her mouth with her napkin before placing it on the table, not once looking in his direction. "Dinner was delicious Bombur, as always. I am feeling rather tired, so I am going to retire early. Good nightnight, everyone."
She pushed her seat back and stood, managing to avoid stepping too close to him as she stepped away from the table as everyone wished her a good night. Thorin chanced a look to his left, where Bilbo sat next to him along with Dwalin, Rosalyn and Balin. He watched Rosalyn give Mistlynn an incredulous stare as she mouthed "What is wrong with you?"
Mistlynn merely shrugged at her as she walked briskly to the door and exited without anything said further.
"Well, that went well." Bilbo murmured into his goblet, just loud enough for Thorin to hear. Thorin sighed in exasperation. "Shots fired and all that entails." The hobbit continued, louder this time so that the rest of the table could hear.
"And that would be your cue to follow her Thorin." Dis's voice was firm as she looked at him expectantly.
"She obviously does not want to talk to me, let alone be in my presence at the moment." Thorin ground out, his appetite forgotten as he pushed his plate away from him. He looked up across the table to see Gloin giving him a wide-eyed look as he subtly jerked his head towards the door that Mistlynn walked out of.
"What my dear husband is trying to say is, My King, is that you should get up and follow her now if you value the ability to create offspring." Gemlinn shared a knowing look with Dis who was nodding as she continued to cut the steak on her plate.
Bilbo sputtered into his napkin at Gemlinn's blunt words. "The great passive aggression, as my father used to say." He coughed as he reached for his goblet.
"Best to just get it done and over with. Rip it off like a bandage." Bombur added, earning a kick to the shin from his wife who gave him a questioning look.
Thorin grunted as he pushed his chair away from the table. "Duly noted." He grabbed his goblet of wine as he stood. He downed the rest of it in one gulp before bringing it back to the table. "Good evening."
Everyone bid their fare wells and well wishes as he left the dining room.
"She certainly is a spirited one." Bilbo chuckled, seeing this side of Mistlynn for the first time. The rest of the table chuckled in agreement.
"As I said the first time I saw her, she's perfect for him. And he, her." Dis smiled. "He is the calm to her storm."
"Here, here!" Bofur toasted, prompting everyone to raise their drinks to toast their King and Queen.
Mistlynn walked briskly through the corridors, not sure where she wanted to go. She had let her emotions get the better of her and made a public display of her ire towards Thorin. She knew it wasn't all his doing, but his prolonged absence wasn't helping calm the storm that had begun to rage within her. She needed fresh air, to feel the chill against her skin and clear her lungs from the heavy air that had seemed to settle there.
She changed course quickly, deciding such reprieve wouldn't be granted on their private balcony. He was sure to follow and demand her to explain what her complaint was with him. Thorin couldn't abide contention, and she wasn't sure she could keep her wits about her and properly explain what it was that truly grieved her.
The moment she reached the private gardens she breathed in deeply, savoring the cold night air. It calmed her, as she knew it would. She felt her body awaken further with each deep inhale, expelling the suffocating heat that had been churning in her chest with each exhale.
The stars were shining bright in the cold night, the moon was a mere sliver nestled within their glittering bodies. She walked up to the stone banister that enclosed the space from the vast darkness that hid the jagged and steep sides of the Lonely Mountain.
The evening breeze was crisp, carrying the promise of snow upon its invisible body. She was eager to see snow again. She missed the way it blanketed the land, enveloping everything around her in that silence that allowed her to hear her heartbeat as it pumped the essence of life through her body, enabling her to feel how each breath empowered her body, to keep pushing, to keep moving forward.
She let her eyes close as the breeze caressed her face and played with the curly tendrils of her loose hair. She willed all thoughts to quiet as she focused on her breaths, of the steady rhythm of her heart. She savored the silence, relished the stillness. And she allowed herself to lose herself in that moment and didn't care how they stretched on before her.
It was after a while she felt him as he approached from behind. He didn't hide the fall of his steps as he slowly approached her. She swallowed, not sure how she felt that he was able to find her as quickly as he did. She felt his warmth seep into her back as he enveloped her with his body, his arms encircling her as he rested his hands on either side of hers. She fought the urge to melt into him like she craved to. Instead, she kept her back straight, her shoulders pinned back as she felt her fingers grip onto the rock banister in front of her.
She felt him exhale a weary sigh, his breath tickling her neck as he leaned forward, bracing himself fully with his hands as his body pressured even closer to her. "You are angry with me." It was a simple statement, his voice low and gravely.
She grit her teeth together but refused to reply. Her eyes were still squeezed shut as she willed herself to continue standing as still as a statue.
Suddenly, her eyes flew open as a gasp escaped her lips, her body shuddering as she felt his lips trace a heated trail from her collarbone up to the pulse point on her neck before nuzzling her. She cursed under her breath as she felt her body give, falling into his as he covered her hands with his before threading their fingers together.
"Tell me what you need of me, so that I may begin to beg for your forgiveness M'eudail." His breath was tantalizingly warm against the shell of her ear, his baritone sending tremors through her and effectively scrambling her thoughts.
"Damn you." She huffed as she began to feel the fight attempting to leave her body, so that she would be left entirely at his mercy. "I just need to be angry Thorin."
"At me?" he questioned, his lips still resting against her neck, their movement caressing her skin.
She sighed deeply in response. "You are partially to blame, although it wouldn't be fair to place it all entirely on you, I suppose." She grumbled, answering herself more than him in that moment.
"You suppose." He drawled, pulling away from her neck so that he could look down at her face. She couldn't help but tip her head back so that she could meet his gaze with her own. He cocked an eyebrow as he looked at her expectantly.
She bit her bottom lip, as she tried to sift through everything that had begun to make an appearance. They were ugly, uncomfortable things she couldn't quite put into proper words. It felt like they were almost indescribable and unfit to see the light of day. Her chest grew tight once again as she watched concern flash in his eyes. She looked away from him quickly.
"It has been very busy the past few weeks, a lot of those negotiations became heated, and you have been occupied with your own matters. It is of no consequence; I will adjust accordingly and endeavor to work out my frustrations during training." She pushed it all back down, willing it to submit. She could still feel his gaze on her face, hard and searching.
She heard him clear his throat as he shifted his weight as if he was getting ready to step back. He withdrew his hands from hers and before she could react his hands came to her waist and turned her around quickly to face him. He pushed her back against the banister with his body, one hand resting on the small of her back while the other came to trace the line of her jaw. Startled at the change of their position she didn't fight it when he tilted her head up to meet his gaze once more. "Firstly, I have been a poor excuse for a husband. I let things push you aside when you are the most important thing in my life. I am so deeply sorry for that M'eudail."
Mistlynn blinked rapidly in shock at his ready apology. She knew she had lashed out at him unfairly at dinner and here he was apologizing to her. Her throat constricted with sudden, overwhelming emotions as her eyes began to burn. "You don't have to apologize; I had no right to say what I said to you tonight. I was being childish." She croaked, her voice barely carrying over a whisper.
"You have been taking on a lot to lighten my workload, and you have been brilliant at it. And I haven't taken the time to tell you how much I appreciate all that you have done." His thumb brushed over her cheek reverently. "What I wouldn't give to see how you tackled each one of those conniving emissaries and merchants. You truly are a vision to behold. I am in awe of you."
His words made her gasp as her heart throbbed. She shook her head as she felt hot tears escape down her cheeks. "You are too generous with your praise, Kurdun."
"I am not generous enough and I am sorry. The late nights stop now, I promise you." He brought both hands up to cup her face gently, his thumbs rubbing her tears from her cheeks. "Were you harsh? Yes, and could you have spoken to me in private about this? Absolutely. But you were frustrated, and I didn't give you a lot of opportunity to speak to me, so no. Childish is not the word I would choose."
Mistlynn bit her lip hard as guilt crashed into her. Her hands gripped the front of his jacket in a vice like grip as she tried to ground herself, not wanting to expose all the pain that had started to resurface. She wasn't the only one who had suffered through pain. Her past wasn't an excuse for her weak behavior.
"It wasn't all you, Thorin. I've been dealing with other … things and you were the easiest for me to cast blame onto."
"Then talk to me. Tell me what is burdening you." He pleaded softly as he continued to rub her cheeks. His eyes were soft and tender, drawing her into the warmth of his crystal blue eyes. "Why were you crying in Dori's shop today? Dis said she had never seen you look so sad."
She felt her heart clench again, that invisible hand that appeared whenever she thought of her mother had a tight hold on her. Her fleeting and distant memories of her mother had always pained her deeply. She had never really spoken of her mother, or of the acute pain her memory wrought upon her. He was looking at her with such devotion, such sincerity she was overwhelmed by it. She felt a portion of that fortified wall cracking under the pressure of his powerful gaze that was slowly beginning to strip her bare.
She sniffed as she closed her eyes briefly, releasing a few more silent tears as she scrunched them shut. "I saw this mother there with her daughter, doing the things that mothers are supposed to do with their daughters." Her voice trembled; her lips numb as the words began to tumble out. "And it just made it all worse, somehow. I just miss her so much it still aches. But how can I miss her when I barely remember her? I cant even remember her face, or her smell or touch, let alone the sound of her laugh or her voice. I can only remember how she could sing, and even then, her singing is faded, like an old threadbare blanket. That song you played on the harp that morning…" she stopped, her chest heaving as she became breathless. "It made me realize how much I miss her. It reawakened something inside of me I thought was gone forever."
She was so wrapped up in trying to string her words together into coherent sentences she missed how Thorin tensed at the description. His eyes narrowed as he kept his eyes locked onto her face as she continued on her rant.
"I never was allowed to think about her, father never talked about her, nobody did. She was just gone, and everyone seemed to hate me for it, loathing the fact I bore her resemblance, for even daring to think in my stupid childish notion that singing would honor her memory. And when you were busy, and I was arguing with those short sighted Dwarrow's and merchants of men who only see me as this mixed, savage imposter, I just found myself aching for her. What I wouldn't give for just one moment to have her look at me like that mother did her daughter, with love and pride. To feel how much she loved me with just one look … one touch of her hand." Her voice trailed off; her throat too swollen with unshed tears that were threatening to burst out.
The silence of the night that enveloped them in the darkened courtyard engulfed them as the breeze carried off her heavy words into the inky void of the night. His thumbs had stopped rubbing her cheeks as he became still. Her heart thundered chaotically against her ribcage as the weight of her confession, of releasing words she had never dared to speak aloud, dazed her. She held her breath, suddenly scared of his reaction to her emotional words. She never lost control like this, only in his presence it seemed. It was maddening.
His one hand slid into her hair, cupping the back of her head while the other slid back down to her lower back. "Mahal Mist." He breathed; his voice thick. She looked up at him in shock. He wasn't looking at her with pity, no. It was an understanding of what loss and regret was. Of feeling lost and misunderstood. He pulled her tightly against him in a warm embrace. He cradled her as if he was trying to shield and protect her from her own demons that plagued her. She allowed herself to give in, to relax fully into his arms. She melted into him, breathing in the comforting scent that was uniquely his.
"It grieves me you were going through this alone. That you felt like you couldn't tell me." He breathed into her hair. They remained in each other's embrace for a long moment, Mistlynn soaking up the comfort of being in his arms while Thorin scoured through every fact he had painstakingly gathered about her mysterious family history and her upbringing. It pained him as he began to realize how devoid of love and comfort her childhood was, how her loneliness had bred this fierce sense of independence and stubbornness she now possessed. This is why he hated the idea of bringing up his concerns and suspicions. It would only subject her to further pain he was desperate to spare her from. The cruel reality he faced reminded him he could no longer spare her from such things.
"You are the only one I've ever spoken to about my mother...And of what happened to Argos." Her voice was muffled against the color of his jacket.
"I am honored that you have entrusted me with these things you guard so fiercely." His voice was gentle and soothing as he kissed the top of her head. He felt her meld further against his body, as if she couldn't get close enough to him. He couldn't help a weary sigh from escaping him as he tightened his arms around her, hugging her as close as possible to him before he loosened his hold and took a step back away from her.
"I hate to ask this of you right now, but I need some information regarding your family. I've been trying to do some research of my own, but as you know, very little is known of your family or your people."
Mistlynn nodded as she wiped her face dry of any lingering wetness on her cheeks. "Is this what has been keeping you so busy of late?" Her voice was back to its normal steadiness, the pain that so evident and deeply seated in her eyes was gone from his sight. It bothered him, he realized as he watched her conceal everything that had been haunting her with barely a blink of her eye.
"Remember the journal we found of my Gamul'adad's the day after we married?" He questioned softly; his eyes keen on her face as he studied her closely.
"I remember that day quite fondly, yes. Especially that particular desk." Her mouth twisted up into a teasing smirk as she gave him that particular look that normally incited his blood to heat up.
He couldn't help but huff out an amused chuckle at her sudden shift in demeanor regarding that memory. "As do I, but this is rather important so please do not distract me."
She sighed dramatically whilst rolling her eyes, her teasing smile still on her lips. "Fine. I shall endeavor to enlighten whatever it is that needs enlightenment. If its kept you busy for this long it must be important."
He stepped back into her space, his expression once again serious. "I swear it is of the utmost importance, otherwise it would not have kept me from you or our bed."
Her smile slowly left her lips as she stared at him. She nodded as she crossed her arms over chest. "Ok. I'll try to answer your questions." Her voice was quiet, reserved as she couldn't help a sense of dread that began to twist inside her. Was she ever going to escape her family and their broken past?
"Do you know a King Varric?" He chose to be straightforward, and instantly regretted his approach as he watched her eyes widen as her face lost all of its color as if she had seen a ghost appear before her.
"How do you know that name?" Her lips were pressed into a thin line, her voice steady but devoid of any emotion. Her paleness and stillness the only indication that she knew the name all too well.
"A King Varric wrote to my Gamul'adad, demanding the return of something called an 'Iklal Kurdu', and threatened to take it by force if it wasn't given freely." He studied her closely as he watched her eyes become distant as if she were caught up in some distant memory.
She swallowed thickly as her gaze came back to meet his. "King Varric was my Grandfather, my mother's father." Her tone was tense, as if the admission pained her to speak allowed. "When did he receive this correspondence? Can you be sure he wrote of my Grandfather, and did not confuse him with someone else?"
"He specifically mentioned being from the far North and had the military might to claim what was rightfully his by birthright." He shook his head gently as he refused to break his eye contact with her. "Gamul'adad may have been stricken with Dragon Sickness but he was tedious with details, especially with foreign and unknown kingdoms that could pose a threat to his kingdom and wealth. He didn't know what this 'Iklal Kurdu' was, but he grew suspicious that he may have been speaking of the Arkenstone."
Mistlynn shook her head adamantly. "No, Thorin. He was mistaken. My people have never coveted gems or riches, they serve no purpose in our way of life. There is no reason why my grandfather would betray the safety of his kingdom for the sole purpose of obtaining some gem. We never reached out to other kingdoms; we were to stay hidden."
"Then explain how my Gamul'adad learned of his name? Or of your Kingdom in the North? Unless there are other kingdoms I have yet to hear of." Her absolute unwillingness to consider any other possibility rather than a mistaken identity irked him. He sighed as he let his chin fall to his chest as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Meudial, please I ask you to keep an open mind. There is no need to get defensive with me. I am just trying to figure this out."
He looked back up at her, his eyes pleading with her. He watched her stance relax slightly, her blazing eyes softening as she took in his words. "Ok, I'm sorry. It's just … I don't remember much from my childhood. My memories are scattered and hazy at best. I barely remember my grandfather. I just know he was … strict." He watched her gaze fixate on the ground in front of her as her eyes flickered back and forth as if she were shifting through her memories as if they were pages in a book. "And busy, I rarely spent time with him. He would tell us of our history. That was important for him, for us to know how we were treated in the past, how we managed to survive." She shook her head again, her expression becoming exasperated.
"Do you know what the Iklal Kurdu is?" he pressed, once again hating that he had brought this topic of her family and the supposed testy correspondence between their families.
"No…" She began firmly, but then stopped herself mid-sentence as he watched her gaze become distant once again lost in memory. "I was young, right before Argos was born. My parents and my grandfather, they were arguing in main tent …" She bit her bottom lip, worrying it between her teeth as she began to shift from one foot to another. "They were angry, I have never heard them so angry with one another. My mother was crying. My grandfather said those words 'Iklal Kurdu', my parents said he was mistaken." He watched something flash across her eyes, something akin to fear as she stopped once again.
He stepped closer to her and placed a hand on her arm, trying to soothe her growing unease. He watched her bottom lip turn white as her teeth pressed into the skin hard. He grabbed her chin with his hand, and rubbed his thumb along where her teeth were biting. "I don't want you to distress yourself if you don't remember, Mistlynn."
She released her lip, now a bright shade of irritated red as she looked up at him. "I've stopped looking into the history books, Thorin. Nothing made sense. Everything was wrong. I was told different, we all were. I was taught to …told by my grandfather to …" Her eyes were a deep vivid shade of green, the gold flecks in their depths seemed molten like flecks of sunshine brightly peeking through rustling summer leaves of a forest canopy. Mahal it was so easy for him to let himself get lost in their radiant depths, normally they were bright with happiness or seduction when she would look at him, but now they were filled with something else that made his heart clench. Fear.
He moved his hand from her chin to her cheek as he wrapped his other arm around her waist to rest on her lower back. "You can tell me M'eudail. There is no reason for fear."
"Balin told me to tell you. Before we were married, but I couldn't bring myself to. I just wanted to move on and forget that part of me. But it keeps coming back, no matter what I do." Her voice shook with a mix of anger and trepidation.
"The night before the wedding, you told me you didn't know where to start. There was too much to tell?" He felt her shiver under his hand.
"You remember that?" he barely heard the question, she had spoken it so softly.
"Yes, Mist. I remember that night. I remember how something was weighing on you. And now I'm guessing it has to do with your family or your kingdom?" He ran his hand up her back to her shoulders, then back down slowly in a soothing gesture. "Remember when you didn't want to tell me about Argos? After speaking to Thranduil at our engagement ball?" He drew her face closer to his until their foreheads were touching. "I told you there was nothing you could ever tell me that would change how I feel about you?"
She gave a subtle nod, not trusting herself fully to speak just yet. He could feel her pulse racing under his palm, her skin flushed with so many emotions that were racing through her body unchecked. "That remains unchanged. You are my One, men andr torak."
He heard her breathing hitch as he spoke the endearment with a soft, yet fierce passion before placing a soft kiss to her forehead before he looked back down to her face. "You can tell me anything, no matter what it is, I will remain yours. Always. Nothing will ever change that."
Her breath caught in her chest as she gasped at his passionate words. She clenched her eyes shut as she fought to steady her breath. He continued to stand there, holding her firmly in his arms as he allowed her to settle into her skin, and soon her breathing had calmed. She unfolded her crossed arms slowly, in every way showing him she was letting down her protective shield. She placed a hand over his chest, allowing herself to feel the steadying beat of his heart. She returned her gaze back up to his, where he had not stopped looking upon her face as she fought her inner battle within.
"My grandfather taught us to hate all other clans. Especially the Longbeards." She began, her voice low. "We were taught that they hated us for what our ancestors, Thormor and Ilwe did, for the forbidden love they shared, and what they enabled their people to inter marry. They were traitors to their own kind, and their people were slaughtered for their treachery. We were told that we would be seen as a pestilence that needed to be eradicated if our kingdom was ever discovered. And because you are the descendants of Durin the Deathless, all the other clans would share in your hatred of us."
Mistlynn looked away from the intensity of Thorin's gaze. "That's why I left our engagement ball, I was afraid that Thranduil would see me and recognize something in me, and that your allegiance with him would be threatened because of who and what I was. I know he is one of the elder Elves here in these lands, and because of the shade of his hair he may have known Ilwe my ancestor personally, if not kin to her." She paused, taking in a deep breath as she attempted to gather her thoughts.
"Mist …" Thorin began, but she cut him off as she pulled away from him once again. She turned back to face the stone banister, to look out into the darkness of the night. "No Thorin. You do not understand. My grandfather LOATHED yours, he loathed you and your kin. He hated all clans, but he taught us to loathe you." A self-depreciating laugh escaped her as she braced herself against the banister again, her hands gripping the cold stone tightly, turning her knuckles white with the fierceness of her grip.
"Yet, I have seen nothing but love and understanding, empathy and patience from you, your kin, your people. And whatever scorn or prejudice I face is quickly dealt with by you or our friends. It's not even allowed to fester in my presence. My entire life, I was taught that we were the one's wronged, that we were above all others because we were a kingdom of mixed blood, of a sanctioned yet doomed union between a legendary Dwarrow and a Noble Elven maiden. That we were persecuted because of love."
Her words hung on the night air as she fought the anger that rose up inside her. "I was lied to. My entire kingdom was misled by the teachings of my ancestors, we believed in the hate we were taught to justify our isolation, our prejudice. One of the last memories of my mother is of her and my father fighting with my grandfather over this hatred he had for your grandfather and your people, demanding this Iklal Kurdu he claimed your ancestor stole from ours be returned. My mom died just days later, followed swiftly by grandfather who passed in his sleep as he grieved his daughter. My father was never the same, nor was Valinn. My father removed me from succession, and I was shunned by my people. I don't know what I did or why. But I threw myself into being there for Argos, and pushed myself to be the very best in my training so that my father would just give me one shred of pride or recognition. I just wanted him to see me, so I did everything he asked, believed in everything I was told without question." Her words had tumbled out fast and heated while pushed out through clenched teeth as her temper at her nativity grew. "And here I stand, realizing everything that I fought and cried and bled for, was a lie."
The silence grew thick around them, nothing but the night air whistling though the crevices of the mountain and scattered trees could be heard. Too much. Mistlynn's heart ached as it pounded in her chest. It was all too much.
She was too scared to look over her shoulder, where she had yet to hear Thorin move, let alone speak after the onslaught she just unleashed upon him. What a chaotic mess. No one needs this kind of mess.
The thoughts thundered and bounced around in her head. Soulmate or not, this was just too many lies to unravel.
Valinn's cruel words echoed in her head, for the first time in months, his scathing words dripping with disdain taunted her. 'You're a burden. Why do you even bother pretending that your anything more than a worthless failure?'
She should have told him that night before their wedding, before she entrapped him, letting him think she was anything more than what she really was. She was a liar, from a kingdom built upon even more lies.
Thorin watched her from where he stood, shocked after hearing all that had been keeping inside. Her tone had dripped with self-loathing, as if all that had been done over the past centuries was of her doing, as if she were the one they should hold accountable and blame. A low growl escaped him as he stepped towards her, the defeat that had sunk into her shoulders as she faced away from him pushing him to his limit.
He turned her around to face him swiftly and proceeded to lift her up. She let out a startled gasp as he set her down on top of the banister, his hands gripping her waist as he stepped in-between her parted thighs. She was now eye level with him, and his eyes were aflame with a fierce determination that enraptured her. Her depreciating inner dialogue was immediately silenced and forced into submission by the intensity of his gaze, in the powerful grip of his hands that held her against him.
"I want you to listen to me and listen well. I know what it is like to try to outrun the legacy your grandfather, and father before you. We are not them. We are not accountable for their poor decisions. We accept what is done and fix what we can, that is all we can do. We are not defined by them; we are defined by who we are from the moment we take our first breath and are judged by all that we have done until we breathe our last. It has taken me so long to realize this, and I am done living in his shadow."
Thorin's hands left Mistlynns waist and gripped her face, firm yet gentle as his soulful blue crashed into her raging green and gold.
"You came to me, from across that forsaken frozen wasteland, and you brought me to life again. I was a mere shell of who I used to be, before my mother and brother breathed their last, and I was burdened by the tainted and charred legacy of my Gamul'adad. I was fighting to escape the shame, and I couldn't breathe, nor find the joy in doing so. You came bursting into my life, so beautiful and tenacious, reminding me of the simplest yet beautiful things there are to behold in this life. Whether it be a piece of freshly baked bread, the smell of fresh flowers, star gazing, or even having a pint or two of cider with your closest friends, of not being afraid to laugh and fight your way through life. You brought me that. And I am in awe of you, every waking moment of every day. You are the light that chases away my darkest of nights. And there is nothing you can ever say that will ever convince me otherwise."
Her throat felt tight as the meaning of his words washed over her, flooding her with a sense of warmth she had been terrified of losing.
"You're not alone in this, we will figure this out Mistlynn, together." He felt her body relax as her eyes began to glisten with tears she was fighting to keep contained. "It is a good thing your Adad and Nadad are still in the Northern Wastes, otherwise they would suffer my wrath." He growled through clenched teeth.
She couldn't help the breathless laugh that escaped her before she turned her face so that she could place a kiss on his palm. "Men gonnaz khuzi." She breathed against his calloused skin before wrapping her arms around his broad shoulders, anchoring her hands into his hair at the back of his head. "I love you, Kurdun."
"And I love you, men gimizhel." He nuzzled his nose against her, his smile soft before pressing his lips to hers, drawing her in to a sweet kiss. He moved one hand from her face to pull her into him closer, as if trying to chase away all of the sorrow that had been haunting her. She could feel the tension melting from her limbs as she gave in to the kiss completely. The kiss deepened as she moaned into his mouth at the feeling of his hand drifting down from her waist to the bottom of her skirts to find its way back up, tracing the line of her leg until his hand was splayed on the outside of her hip.
He chuckled darkly, the sound reverberating deeply in his chest at the sound of her arousal being stirred. "Now, what were you saying about sport and zig zagging through the woods?" He nipped playfully on her earlobe before he began to trace a heated trail of open-mouthed kisses down the column of her neck. She gasped at the sensation, baring her neck to him to grant him further access.
"There is a dam lusting after Fili, and he is not so keen on her attentions. I was planning on teaching her some manners." She explained breathlessly, her eyes fluttering closed as his kisses continued down her chest. She felt his fingers brush her hipbone before her grabbed the globe of her backside firmly in his hand. She gasped as he pulled her fully against him, so that she was leaning more against him for support as she was barely seated on the edge of the stone railing.
She felt his teeth nibble the tops of her breasts, making her curse softly under her breath at his ministrations. He never failed to make her a wantonly heaving mess in just mere moments of his assured touches and sinful lips. He could play her body like an instrument, and he knew it. Cocky bastard.
"How about some sport of our own this evening. Before we retire to our chambers?" He teased his way back up to her face, his eyes twinkling with a lustful deviousness that made her stomach clench in anticipation.
"Something tells me you're talking more than just mere 'sport'. Marathon more the like." She wiggled her hips against his hardness, eliciting a groan from him as his gaze became hooded.
"However you want to perceive it, I'll be happy to oblige you either way." He growled playfully as he brought his face closer to hers so that their hips were hovering by a mere breathe. "We can always place a wager. Make it interesting."
She drew her bottom lip in between her teeth as she pretended to weigh his suggestion. His eyes darkened at the movement, prompting a shiver of excitement that tingled through her limbs. "I'm intrigued." She fluttered her eyelashes at him. "What is it that you wager?"
His smirk became sinful as he grinned at her. "I wager that no matter the five minutes head start I give you, I will be able to hunt you down and have my filthy way with you, no matter how fast or the direction you choose to take."
Mistlynn raised her eyebrows in surprise, the thrill of being hunted by him in the dark made her heart skip. "Oh, so sure, are we? And what if you can't find me?"
He wiggled his eyebrows at her suggestively. "I'm sure you can come up with something you would like to demand of me."
She couldn't help the giggle that escaped her at the prospect of winning against him. She was stealthy and quick. She hummed under breath as she ran her hands down his chest, her touch light and teasing. "If I manage to make it back to our rooms uncaptured, you will owe me a night outside of this kingdom, where you will wine, dine and make love to me under the stars."
"Doesn't seem much like a wager to me, I emerge the winner in either outcome." He chuckled.
"As do I. You, having your filthy way with me after a good chase isn't exactly a punishment."
"Punishment comes later." His voice deepened, rolling through his chest like thunder as he pinned her with a look that promised her a sleepless night.
She giggled as her excitement grew. "You promise?"
His grip on her tightened as his eyes became molten, slivers of icy flame shining brightly against the dark pools of his pupils. "Mahal, preserve me. Men smiddag menu zaki." His words rumbled even lower, the hunger for her obvious in his tone and ravenous gaze.
She leaned forward so that her lips brushed the shell of his ear, teasing and feather light. "No peeking, for five minutes. "
"Make sure you zig zag, M'eudail. Give me some sport before I claim you." He breathed hotly on the side of her neck as he released her from his grip.
She giggled as she slid off the railing, rubbing her front fully against his, earning from her another lowly growl. The moment her fingertips left his arm she heard him chuckle. "Countdown starts now."
She turned promptly on her heel as she gathered her skirts into her hands and dashed towards the farthest exit. Her heart was pounding in her ears as she flew down the corridors, weaving in and out the darkened halls.
She saw the massive doors that led to the Hall of Kings were cracked open and darted into them. Her footfalls echoed in the massive room, the golden floors glowing in the faint torchlight that hung from the massive columns throughout the room. She skidded to a stop and quickly kicked off her flats.
Gripping them tightly in her hands she ran towards the darkest point of the room and hid behind on of the columns. She had estimated that five minutes had already passed, so she stopped to listen. The only thing she could hear other than the deafening silence was the wild beating of her heart.
She grinned triumphantly to herself as she proceeded to dash from column to column and towards the other door that would lead the way up to the royal quarters.
Suddenly, she heard the sound of the massive doors being shut. The mechanism clicking into place echoed throughout the room. She stopped mid step and quickly pressed her back against the column closest to her. She held her breath as she gripped her shoes tightly. Nothing but deafening silence greeted her. Her eyes slid towards her intended exit, knowing she had to now find an alternative route.
Her eyes scanned the darkened room, and hidden in the shadows, she saw another arched corridor. She shifted her balance and crouched low. She peered around her hiding spot to see the room was empty, but the doors she had entered through were shut. She couldn't help the thrilled shudder that pulsed through her. Shadows cast from the torchlight danced along the golden floor and crept up the columns surrounding her, disguising both her and her stalker's shadows as well.
She smiled coyly. If she was struggling to see him, he certainly was struggling to find her as well. She began to weave, her bare feet silently skimming over the cold golden floor. With each passing minute, she drew closer and closer to the corridor.
The statues of Thorin's ancestors were now aligned in between the massive columns. She cursed silently to herself as she paused. They were so realistic; the darkness and shadow casting torch light gave them a whole new life that made her doubt her own eyes. She studied them with a critical eye, her own breathing shallow before she slipped in between their bases with feline like stealth.
The corridor was within running distance, and she could taste the victory on her tongue as she smiled gleefully. After another pause, she slipped away from the last column and glided silently towards her escape. At that moment, just as she was about to slip under the arched frame of the corridor, she saw a shadow from the statue of Thror I shift soundlessly, blacker than any shadow as it moved swiftly towards her.
She dashed to her left, a gasp escaping her lips as she ran towards the other exit. She slid behind a column and fought to steady her racing heart. Mahal, that was close! He had nearly captured her. That was a dirty trick, lying in wait against statues that shared his features. Clever brute. She could help but smirk fondly at that thought.
She strained to decipher any sound that would betray movement of any kind but was met again with complete silence. Her mind raced as she weighed her options. He was in this room yet had not given away his position after that close call. She stared at the exit door again, it was either that or head back towards the way she came. She frowned; he had shut the door when he had entered. That would be a waste of precious time if she tried to open those massive doors, if not give away her position at the sound she knew they would make. She couldn't let him herd her in the direction he wanted her to go. She had to do the unexpected.
She slid down the column into a crouch and carefully laid down one of her flats, so that the toe of the shoe was barely peeking out from the curve of the column. She clutched the remaining shoe tightly in her fist as she picked up her skirts with the other and turned to look in the opposite direction. She slinked to the other side of the room, skirting around the dancing flickers of torch flame that skimmed the floor like hazy fireflies.
She breathed a sigh of relief as she made it across the vast hall and was again concealed.
Before she could enact her next move, an amused chuckle echoed around her, the vastness of the room concealing his true location. "Bran Yasith." A deep voice rumbled, almost a purr of praise that she couldn't help but shiver at the sound of. Clever wife. He had obviously been misled by her careful placement of her discarded flat, and he was applauding her for it. She grinned. Mahal, why had they not done this sooner?
She pushed herself up slowly from her crouch, her back fully against the cool marble of the column. She turned slowly so that her front was pressed firmly against her hiding spot so that she could peer across the immense hall. She saw nothing move in the shadows. She fought to keep her heart from pounding out of her chest from the thrill of being hunted. She rubbed her thighs together, trying to ease the throbbing that was steadily growing in intensity. She had to get out this hall, where they were playing this enthralling game of cat and mouse.
She turned back against the column to survey her new options. Her gaze fell on the staircase that led up towards the balcony of the massive hall. She could cross the top towards the royal quarters that way, albeit it was a longer route. But it would be better than this room of shadows, where she was sure he was fully enjoying toying with her.
Her mind made up, she kept to the shadows of the columns and slowly made her way towards the staircase. If she could manage to sneak up the first flight of steps, she would be allowed to shield herself with the curved stone that enclosed the rest of the stairway.
Her breath quickened as she drew closer to the staircase, mere steps away from escaping the Hall of Kings. With one last look at her surroundings, she launched herself away from the last column and dashed towards the stairway.
She felt strong arms envelop her waist from behind her, effortlessly picking her up and sweeping her off her feet. She couldn't help the startled squeal that escaped her lips as she was pulled back further into the shadows. A velvety chuckle tickled her ear as she her chest was firmly pressed against a column. Her wrists were captured and held together with one strong hand pinning them in place above her head. The flat dropped to the floor with a thud as her fingers relaxed their hold. Her captors other hand slid down her body to stop at the curve of her hip, granting him firm purchase as he pressed his muscular body against her back. "I almost lost you there." Thorin chuckled in amusement as he brought his lips down next to her jaw so that he could nuzzle her pulse point.
She groaned softly as he breathed her in deeply. "You have me at a distinct disadvantage. I'm not the one who has been prowling these halls since he was a dwarfling."
"I had to reacquaint myself after a hundred-year absence, don't be sore that I caught you."
Mistlynn rolled her eyes, "It's no matter, you still hold the advantage. And I don't like losing."
She was spun quickly around to face him. His grip on her wrists tightened as he pinned her against the column with his hips. She could feel the hardness of his arousal through her silk skirts as he rocked his hips just above that place between her legs that made her entire body shiver. "Did we not agree that this would be to your advantage as well when I caught you?"
His eyes flashed brightly in the shadows as he smirked down at her, his dark features all the more striking in the shadows and golden flame that danced about the room. His eyes were glowing in delight, making him appear younger as he savored her being so pliant in his embrace.
"Did I tell you how much I adore you in this dress?" His voice became gravelly as he made quick work of pushing up the light layers of the skirt, exposing the porcelain skin of her legs to the slight chill of the autumn air that was seeping into Erebor with each passing day. "Otherwise, this would be way more difficult." His hand skimmed lightly over her skin before he grasped her by the back of the knee.
She hummed appreciatively at his heated touch as she allowed him to pull her leg up so that she could wrap it around his waist. "Fortunate for you I had to dress nice for Rosy's appointment, otherwise I would have worn my leathers." She tightened her leg around him, pulling him even tighter against her. "I like making you work for it." Her voice dipped low and heady. hH
Thorin's smirk grew lecherous. "Good thing I caught you then. I have my prize to claim."
Her chest heaved as her stomach began to flutter as he devoured her form with his ocean eyes. He let go of her wrists and quickly dropped to his knees and placed her lifted leg over his shoulder.
Her eyes widened in surprise at his sudden and bold change in position. "Thorin!" She panted, trying to make her voice strong and scolding as he pushed her skirt fully to the side. "We are in a public place! Anyone could walk in or hear us!"
He chuckled darkly as he ripped through her underthings and let them flutter to the floor. Her heart lodged in her throat as he pushed her supporting leg open more with a strong hand as he hummed, seemingly thinking over her feeble protest. H
She whimpered as she felt the cold air brush over her exposed core, the sensation making her nerves set ablaze in the delicious torture of anticipation.
"Better keep your voice down then." He growled before his mouth descended upon her sensitive mound. Her back arched as a soft cry escaped her lips.
Men andr torak - My Soulmate
Men gonnaz khuzi - My powerful Warrior
Men gimizhel- My wild of wilds
Men smiddag menu zaki - You make me crazy
"Bran Yasith - Clever wife