When the police round the house, Jax and Tara simply step back and out of their way, to allow the lawmen to do their thing.
He still has his arm wrapped around her, holding her to him in a show of protectiveness and solidarity, but their faces are blank masks now. They're just staring as the scene unfolds before them, like silent bystanders, unattached onlookers as Gemma is quickly surrounded, then put into handcuffs while being read her rights and taken into custody at last.
Gemma on the other hand has never looked more furious than she does this instant, yet she seems almost out of character when she doesn't even smart off, doesn't protest, doesn't put up a fight, neither verbally nor physically. For once, the matriarch is simply stunted into silence and surrender, not just pissed off, but undoubtedly heartbroken and hurt by what she considers an unimaginable betrayal by her own flesh and blood.
However, the deadly glare she directs at none other than Tara when the deputy starts to drag her away with a firm grip on her upper arm isn't missed by anyone, least of all Jax, and neither is the way his arm drops from around Tara when he quickly takes a step forward to shield his wife from it, and from her. His hands blindly reach back, grabbing hold of Tara, securing her behind his larger frame, as if he fears his mother might manage to make a break for it, handcuffs and all, and will try to attack her after all.
His eyes then connect with Gemma's, the almost disinterested look on his face from just moments ago is now replaced with one of loathing and fierce determination instead, and coupled with the physical gesture of guarding Tara with his own body, the message he's conveying is loud and clear without having to utter a single word; You'll have to come through me to get to her!
After Gemma is taken away, they both give their statements, and not long after that, they finally find themselves back in their truck, on their way back home.
Even though his mother's been caught within hours of Tara regaining her memories of that night, and was behind bars now, the mood between them is rather gloomy. They're still sitting side by side, holding hands, seeking comfort in each other's touch, the worst behind them - quite literally - in the rearview mirror, but the reality of it all is weighing heavily on their minds, and thickening the air around them with sadness. There are no triumphant outbursts or smiles plastered on either of their faces, not tonight, everything that happened, what Gemma did, it simply still hurts too much.
Were they relieved? Yes, of course, they were undoubtedly relieved, that goes without saying. But the fact of the matter remains that it had been Gemma, Jax's own fucking mother, who had attacked Tara and assaulted her so brutally, so ... viciously, that it had nearly resulted in her untimely death.
Regardless of the anger both already feel toward her, especially after knowing about her involvement in JT's death, helping Clay was one thing though, this newest development is something else, and trumps everything they'd thought her capable of, and it is a hard pill to swallow for the both of them.
The knowledge of that guts him to the core, he can't help but blame himself for it, because he's lost count of how many times Tara expressed concern about the part Gemma played in their relationship, and their family dynamic, but he just couldn't see it. He didn't see it!
Deep down he'd thought that despite her overbearing nature, her meddling, her ... obvious flaws, his mother loved her family more than anything, and he'd foolishly assumed that as his Old Lady, his wife, and mother of his children, that if push came to shove Tara would've been included in that family equation as well.
So time and again Jax had turned a blind eye to his mother's antics, to him, they were just a pestering distraction to the things that really mattered, like Club business, but right now, looking back, he can't help but wonder how he could have been so blind for all these years? He didn't see this coming. Even at her worst, Jax never could've imagined his mother capable of something like ... this! He knew better now, he knew now without a doubt that his assumption had been wrong, with near-deadly consequences!
The hour-and-a-half-long car ride home seems to drag on at first, but when he manages to shake himself free of his self-loathing thoughts long enough to make some necessary phone calls, time seems to speed up and fly by rather quickly again.
And to Tara's obvious surprise, Jax's first call isn't to the Club, but he's calling none other than Ally Lowen instead.
He has his phone sitting in one of the cup holders that pull out like a drawer on his dashboard, the call on speaker phone, and if the slightly raspy sound of her voice is any indication when she answers, it's obvious that she'd already been fast asleep, which shouldn't have really been a surprise at this time of night.
It takes the lawyer a couple seconds to not only fully wake up, but also wrap her mind around and really grasp the ugly truth that both Jax and Tara begin to relay back to her. And it's now that Jax hears Tara's accounts for the first time in greater detail as well, when she recalls everything she now remembers from that day to Ally out loud.
He struggles to contain the newly rising anger that bursts through him all over again, he can feel it seeping into every cell of his body, when he's reliving the assault on her through Tara's very emotionally charged words.
But there is something admirable about the way Jax can keep his thumb gently caressing her hand to try to comfort her while she's talking, yet the knuckles on his left hand are turning white when he grips the steering wheel with all his strength, his jaw tight, turning away from her as he's clenching his teeth in disdain, just to keep himself from punching his fist through his own fucking window mid-drive.
Deep down he knows that calling the cops was the right thing to do, for the sake of what they have now, for her, for their boys, for their expanding little family, but ... but in this very moment, he can't stop the dark thoughts about wanting to end her himself from creeping back to the forefront of his mind.
The man who he used to be, the man capable of such things, he will always be a part of him, a part of the man he is now, there simply was no escaping that truth either tonight!
And it all brings him back to the reason why he'd called Ally Lowen in the first place, because after Gemma was put in handcuffs, finally brought away and out of his sight. Sudden questions arose that in the heat of the moment hadn't even crossed his mind.
So he didn't call the Club, but called Ally instead, knowing she'd be the one that could give him answers to the questions and worries that now boggled his mind. Like what will happen now?
Ally begins to explain the procedural stuff that will most likely happen in the weeks, or months to come, and even though he knows most of this, he just needs to hear it said out loud, to reassure himself that this was in fact the right move.
So she starts by pointing out that it's already late Friday night, and courts are closed for the weekend, so Gemma would remain locked up in Oregon until the coming week.
On Monday or Tuesday a request for extradition to California, San Joaquin County to be exact, since that's where the crime had occurred, would be filed.
Between approval and execution of said extradition, it could still take days, maybe even another week before Gemma would finally be brought home and allowed a bail hearing.
Then there were several things to consider, whether or not Gemma would be granted bail.
For starters, there is the restraining order Tara had filed after the miscarriage, it has technically never been revoked, and was therefore still in place when the assault took place.
Another factor is Gemma's previous record of evading arrests and imprisonment, she has proven to be a known flight risk.
And last, but not least is the fact that she is now also the prime suspect in the murder of Sheriff Eli Roosevelt, the former head of the Son Joaquin Sheriff's Department.
Ally Lowen is by no means a fortune teller, but when Jax flat out asks her what she thinks is going to happen, not just client to lawyer, but friend to friend, she finally admits that she highly doubts the former queen of SAMCRO would find a judge willing to grant her bail, and would most likely be ordered to remain in the custody of the state until the actual trial, which could be months from now.
She's steadfast in her reassurances, and it does begin to ease some of the tension Tara and he is feeling, knowing that Gemma won't get a chance to make yet another run for it, or worse, come after Tara once more.
But as Tara's lawyer, she has a job to do here, and despite the rather uncomfortable and at one time volatile subject, she can't in good conscience overlook the incident of the miscarriage and what could possibly be the outfall from it, if they left it undiscussed and remained unprepared for it.
When the supposedly first assault in Tara's office would get mentioned, Gemma would undoubtedly deny all the allegations, would say that there never was a baby and therefore no miscarriage for that matter, that Tara had lied and falsified medical documents, and if she could produce some proof of that, she could create doubt in the validity of Tara's statement, and with it put into question whether or not Tara is telling the truth this time around.
Tara swallows the lump in her throat when she listens to Ally explain all of that to them, and with a guilty look in her eyes, she lowers her gaze to their conjoined hands that were still casually resting on her thigh, while her heart begins to pound heavily against her rib cage. She doesn't know what to say, or how to respond to what Ally wants to discuss, because the mere thought of her horrible crime against Gemma - and Jax - getting brought up in court, wants her to hide away from the world in shame.
"Gemma can't prove shit!" Jax startles her out of her guilt when he speaks up confidently in her place, and without even a second of hesitation, he further explains. "As far as medical and public records go, Tara was pregnant, the assault happened, the miscarriage happened, and with that, the goddamn restraining order still stands. I'll gladly take the fucking stand to attest to what my wife suffered through at the hands of my mother. So Gemma can try to twist and turn shit all she wants, but those are the facts, that she can't prove to be untrue." He glances over at Tara for just a second then, gives her a reassuring nod accompanied by a small smile, before he raises their intertwined hands up to his lips, so he can kiss her knuckles as his eyes focus back on the stretch of highway ahead of them.
Jesus Christ, what has she done to deserve this kind of love and devotion from him? Tara honestly doesn't know, all she does know is that her heart is overflowing with gratitude and love for him in return, but she still can't bring herself to chime in or comment on the matter, her guilty conscience just won't let her. What was there really left to say anyway? Jax has pretty much said it all.
"What about Wendy Case?" Ally asks with some concern notable in her voice. "I've heard through the grapevine that after her relapse, Gemma and she have grown quite close again. How much does she know?" The question was undoubtedly meant for Tara this time.
"She's just a weak junkie," Jax answers again before Tara can even form a thought. "That's all she'll ever be. She has no actual proof either, and her word ain't worth ... anything." Jax tries to reassure Lowen as much as Tara, when he dares a glance at her and sees the slight concern in her eyes, his thumb still rubbing back and forth over her hand that's clutching his.
And it's at that moment that Tara finally finds her voice, albeit a little timid at first. "Wendy ..." She shakes her head along to her words, more out of habit, since Lowen obviously can't see her. "Wendy didn't know any details, ... and neither did Wayne for that matter, the only one who did is Margaret."
"Margaret won't say anything," Jax adds, and Tara agrees with a nod.
Shortly after that, they end the call, with an agreement to talk again Monday, or Tuesday at the latest, and let Ally get back to sleep.
Jax's next call is to the Club, this conversation is also on speaker, mostly because he's trying to prove to Tara that he's not keeping anything else from her this time. But still, he tries to keep the call short and to the point, just to inform them to call off the search, and put out the word that Gemma's been caught and arrested.
But before Jax can end the conversation with Bobby, the older man chimes up, because some vital things have been left unsaid. "What are we doing here, brother? Do we ... do we try to arrange protection for her, at least 'til you figure out how you wanna handle this, or ...?" The words die down, leaving the rest open for Jax to fill in the blanks.
Tara can't help but raise her eyes to Jax's face, he's intently watching the road ahead and all she's really getting is a shadowed view of his profile from her seat right beside him, but despite the darkness, she's still able to see the way his forehead wrinkles and his eyebrows draw together in thought for just a second at Bobby's words.
"Nothing." He answers with resolution in his voice just a breath later, shaking his head again, and gives Tara's hand a little squeeze while looking over at her for just a split second, before returning his eyes back to the road. "We do nothing. She's on her own. So ... just let it play out."
Upon hearing his answer, Tara lets out a silent sigh of relief right beside him, bringing their intertwined hands up to her lips now, so she can place a kiss against his hand for a change, because he's trying here. He's trying so hard to do this her way, and she's so immensely grateful for it.
"Hmm, yeah." They can hear Bobby clear his throat on the other end of the line, as if he's about to say something else, but then there's a sudden pause instead, and Jax actually wonders if the call got dropped, due to bad reception.
He speaks up then, to see if the call is still connected. "Bobby? You still there?"
"I am." He replies, interrupting the silence with his thoughtful-sounding voice. "Gemma was an Old Lady longer than you've been a Son, Jax." He adds, "She knows ... a lot!"
It takes Tara a second to grasp what Bobby is getting at, but Jax catches the meaning instantaneously, and lets out a sigh before he utters a response. "I don't think she'd rat." But even after the words leave his mouth, he has to acknowledge to himself that he really doesn't know anymore what his mother is capable of. She'd fooled him for far too long!
He doesn't want to sound like he's defending her by any means, but he still can't help but add, "Besides, if they charge her with Eli's murder, too, there's no way they would let her cut a deal."
"You're right." Bobby acknowledges the truth behind Jax's words, yet can't help but point out the obvious. "But you and I both know that the bullets they found match Juice's gun, not one of your Mom's smaller-sized calibers."
"Yeah, but they don't know that," Jax replies without missing a beat.
"Guess I'll have to take it to the table," Bobby says in response, but is surprised when he doesn't get a reply from Jax as quickly as he thought he would.
Instead, a moment of silence stretches on between them, as Jax thinks about just what to say, while he can feel Tara's scrutinizing gaze fixated on him and his reaction.
He made a promise to Tara, but technically this right here has nothing to do with either him or her, so he swallows the lump in his throat, before he quickly adds, "That's Club business, which I'm no longer a part of, so ... your call, pres, your vote, just ... just leave me out of it."
"Yeah, you're right," Bobby replies, sounding solemn, as if this is the very moment it really hits him that Jax is truly gone, and not coming back.
They finally end the call.
X
Jax locks the front door to their apartment behind them, while Tara shrugs out of her coat to hang it on the hook near the entrance, and Jax follows suit.
She takes the couple steps further into their home, leaving her purse in the armchair she passes by on her way into the kitchen. She's wondering if there's anything she can busy herself with enough to get out of the torturous thoughts inside her head, when her eyes fall on the empty sink, and she realizes that Jason or Christy must've loaded the dishwasher for her before they left with the boys earlier tonight.
Besides that, everything else looks the same, everything is the same, but still, Tara leans back against the kitchen counter and folds her arms in front of herself, frozen in place, because nothing is really the same anymore now.
This revelation about Gemma, which her returning memories brought forth, changes their world, and their family. Logically you'd think it shouldn't have such a profound impact, considering Gemma hadn't been an active part of their lives for quite some time now, but somehow it still is, because the sadness of the truth somehow weighs everything down. It changes everything. How can they move on from this?
Tara's so lost in her own thoughts that she hasn't even noticed Jax has followed her into the kitchen and has stopped to lean against the table right across from her, his hands braced on either side of him, taking in her tense shoulders, stiff posture and the far away, almost haunted expression on her face, with a worried gaze of his own.
He can't help but wonder if she's reliving yet again what took place in their home in Charming, or if this is about what Bobby had said about possibly taking a vote to determine Gemma's fate.
He hesitates for a moment, but it's already late, and if there's one thing he doesn't want to happen, it's them going to bed without sorting the rest of this nightmare out once and for all. They had started out on opposite sides tonight, then worked their shit out long enough to find her and get her locked up, yet he can't help but shake this feeling that they're now on different pages all over again. So he takes a stab in the dark, trying to get to the bottom of this.
"Look, asking the Club for help finding her is one thing, and considering I'm patched out, they could've just as easily turned me down. But now that she's going inside, this vote doesn't have anything to do with me, it's not my Club anymore. They don't owe me anything, Tara, so I don't get to have a say in -."
"I know." Tara cuts him off, meeting his steely blue gaze across the small distance, nodding her head. "I know." She repeats again for good measure, and the look in her eyes is now softening when she takes in his puzzled but also worried expression. She tries to reassure him. "What the Club does now, it's ... it's on them. It's out of your hands."
"Out of our hands." Jax corrects her, his not-so-subtle reminder that they are making decisions as a team now.
Tara nods in reply, and Jax pushes himself off of the edge of the table, their eyes still locked on each other's when he takes the few steps over toward her and reaches out for her, rubbing his hands soothingly up and down her upper arms, hoping it will loosen some of that tension in her, "If that's not it, then what is it? What are you thinking about?"
"I wish I didn't ..." She stops, wiping at the tears that are forming in her eyes again, and gulps, lowering her gaze for just a second before her eyes shoot back up to connect with his anew, and she finally admits what's plaguing her now. "I wish I didn't remember." Her voice breaks on the last word and the tears actually pearl down her cheeks, before Jax pulls her into his embrace, but shaking his head at the thought that she'd rather still be in the dark about who'd hurt her than have to face this.
Her voice is sounding high-pitched, but also muffled against his chest, "We were finally happy, but ... but now everything is fucked up again."
"That's not true," Jax interjects, holding her close and stroking her hair to calm and comfort her. He wishes he could take her pain away, she's been through too damn much already, and he's overtaken by the need to find a way to not let Gemma destroy what they've fought so hard to build here for themselves. "Everything we have right now, us being together and raising our boys, and this new baby, our family, ... she almost destroyed that, almost took that from us, so I'll be damned if we waste another fucking minute in misery, because of the shit she pulled."
She sighs against his chest. "And how do we do that? What does that look like?" Tara sniffles, still relying on his embrace to keep her upright.
"The best revenge is being happy," Jax replies genuinely, and he could swear he'd read that quote somewhere before. "So that's what we'll do. This won't hold us back. We keep on looking for a bigger place, get ready for our baby girl, celebrate our oldest turning five ... we carry on, Babe, live our lives, focus on the things that make us happy, make us whole! We'll show her up, by proving her wrong when our story turns out to be the greatest love story Charming has ever fucking seen."
Tara tightens her arms around him at his sweet words, her tears stop falling and a little smile appears on her face when she lets herself believe that it could truly be this simple to move past this nightmare.
He sweetly kisses the top of Tara's head, pulling her just a little bit tighter against him, before his face contours in anger once more. "As for Gemma, she can rot in prison for the rest of her life, or maybe SAMCRO will take her out, and she'll rot in hell instead, ... I honestly don't give a shit. I'm just done with her. Fuck her!"
Jax is leaning back a bit while he's gently pushing her away from his chest, so he can reach for her face, framing it with both his hands, and meet her still teary-looking eyes. "I love you, Tara. I'm so happy being with you, and there's nothing in this world that could ever change the way I feel about you, least of all her!"
"I feel the same way, Jackson. I love you so much." Tara replies, before she reaches up and frames his face in return, pulling him down so she can kiss him.
X
Author's Note: Please leave me a comment or a review. Thank you!