Several days later, late Monday night …
Life's a bitch- Jax thinks to himself when he ends the call and with shaking hands slowly puts the phone on the kitchen table, because all he really wants to do is throw the damn thing against the wall with all his might.
If there is one thing to be said about those outdated burners he used to carry, it's that you could at least snap them shut in anger if you felt like it, or easily replace them if you ended up hurling them across the room. Yeah, simply pushing a red circle on a touch screen to end a call wasn't nearly as satisfying.
In the end, though, it's the boys being sound asleep down the hall that helps him keep his temper in check at last. No need to bring them into this too, bad enough that he'll have to sit Tara down and undoubtedly worry her with this shit.
So instead he swipes both his hands down his weary face, as if that act could somehow wipe away the worry and anger that is once more festering within him because of his mother's actions. Gemma! Goddamn Gemma!
Things have been on the up and up since Wendy left again, and everything is going great for once.
Their offer on the house got accepted, and as long as all the mortgage paperwork is handled in time, they could be closing on their new home as early as Tuesday next week, and start moving in that same day.
Tara is downright glowing. She thinks she's finally over the morning sickness part, hasn't had a single bout with nausea in one whole week, and her appetite is truly back too.
And last but not least Christy has been helping him big time with his plan to surprise Tara for their anniversary.
But he should've known it was all too good to be true. The past is like a noose around their neck that they're struggling to break free from, only to find it tightening the more they try to fight it. Fucking Gemma!
The more he thinks about everything he has been discussing with Ally Lowen earlier, and just now with Bobby and Chibs, the more he realizes but also struggles with what he'll have to do. It's something he'd never ever thought he would do, yet it doesn't look like Gemma's leaving him much of a choice in the matter.
'You're a husband, and a father, and a man ... before all of this. Own your place.' Former DA Patterson's words come back to hit him square in the chest with a vengeance. He's tried to own his place, and made a deal to protect Tara, only for Gemma to throw a wrench in it by almost killing her. But he won't allow his mother to get away with this shit anymore. The buck stops here!
After the countless times, he's let Tara and his boys down, too blind to see what was right in front of his own eyes, he just can't let that happen again, this time his eyes are wide fucking open. This is something - one thing - he can do to help her, help them. What he'll have to do is risky, no doubt about that, his mother is nothing if not unpredictable, and she certainly knows enough to take each and everyone down with her. But he has to do this, there simply is no other way. But now he'll just have to make Tara see reason and agree too, because the last thing he wants is for this to put another wedge between them again.
Just then, as if on cue, the door to the apartment unlocks and Jax raises his eyes from his fingers fidgeting with his wedding band just in time to catch Tara stepping through the door.
It's pretty late already, the boys have been asleep for a while and Tara looks downright worn out and ready for bed as well, but rest and sleep will have to wait a little bit longer.
"Hey." Jax gets up and hurries toward her, greeting her with a quick peck on the lips and helping her shrug her heavy coat off. "How did the surgery go?" He inquires about the reason she's home so late, and it's not just out of habit, he truly wants to know. Hopes that at least work is going alright for her considering everything else might be about to get turned upside down.
"It was definitely touch and go there for a while, but he made it," Tara replies with a sigh of relief, a tired little smile stretching over her face, but that only lasts so long before she scrunches her eyebrows together in question when she notices the worry he's no longer able to hide from his unshaven face. "What's wrong? What happened?"
She looks so tired, so exhausted, and Jax wishes he could just pick her up, carry her to bed, and forget all about it for just one more night, but he knows there is no way around this.
He's the one that opened himself up to her again, he let her all the way in, and the downfall of it is that she seems to be able to read him now like an open book. There is no hiding things like this from her anymore, not even for one lousy night. She won't allow it, will see right through him. The way she manages to get the truth about things that burden him out of him with just a look these days, can truly put Happy and all the tools in his arsenal to shame.
"Let's talk in the kitchen, Babe." Is all he says, not giving away much more than a strong sense of worry, then quickly reaches around her, locking the deadbolt and putting the chain in place before he takes her hand in his and pulls her along with him.
They sit opposite each other, Jax grasping onto her hands across the table when to Tara's relief he finally begins to talk and starts to fill her in on what is going on.
He tells her that he'd reached out to Lowen to get her take on whether it was in their best interest for him to visit Gemma, because the last thing he wants to do is somehow jeopardize the upcoming trial and play into his mother's hand, only to find out that Lowen was just about to reach out to them in return.
What he found out through his conversation with Lowen, and later Chibs and Bobby really shouldn't have surprised him all that much, but somehow it still did. Gemma's like a goddamn cat with nine fucking lives, that even after all the wreckage and pain she's caused, she still somehow ends up landing on her feet, even without the help of the Club.
Turns out that the state prosecutor is still moving forward with the case against Gemma, but as predicted, Juice's video testimony and confession are deemed inadmissible without him appearing and testifying in person.
There is no assault weapon with Gemma's prints or DNA, no blood-stained clothing, nothing at all that actually ties Gemma to the crime, or proves that she was even in the Teller home that night in question. Sure, her prints were everywhere, but that can easily be explained away by how often she frequented the house, which was the reason why she wasn't considered a suspect to begin with.
The entire case is built on Tara's testimony and truthful character alone, her word against Gemma's, which with their prior volatile history along with Tara's brain injury and subsequent amnesia, will undoubtedly be questioned by the overpriced suit Gemma's hired for her defense.
Apparently, Gemma's lawyer has already put in an RFP -Request for Production- to get a copy of Tara's medical records not only concerning the injuries she sustained that night, but also about the miscarriage that led to the restraining order that had been filed against Gemma. With it making it crystal clear just how dirty they were preparing to fight, because if they could somehow prove Tara lied about the miscarriage, they could create enough 'reasonable doubt' that she might be lying about Gemma having attacked her this time too.
On top of all that, Gemma's also made it known through the grapevine that she would never rat on the Club, but if she is going down, she's ready to divulge each and every little thing she can think of that will ensure that Tara will go down right alongside with her.
"You know what she's doing, don't you?" Tara injects suddenly, searching his face to see if he gets what she's implying although she doesn't even give him the chance to say anything before she explains. "She's still angry that you called the cops and let her get thrown in jail instead of handling it 'the Club way', her way."
She shakes her head, her face twisting in disgust. "What kind of mother would rather be killed by the hands of her own son than to accept her punishment by the law?" She doesn't expect him to answer, it's rhetorical really, and yet the question hangs heavily in the air between them. It's 'the Club way' after all, and for the majority of his life it's all he's ever known, it's what he was raised to believe.
"Jesus Christ, Jackson, if you're thinking about ..." She pauses, choking up and fighting back tears, raising her hand up to her mouth in disbelief that they're back here again, having this same conversation ... again. But then she composes herself enough to continue in a whisper, as if she's afraid someone might overhear the ugly words she's about to say. "If you're thinking about using the Club or ... or have her killed by some other means, then she gets what she wants. She wins by dragging you down with her instead of me. We can't let her do this. We can't let her win." She shakes her head at him.
"I know." Jax agrees on an exhale. "I'm not." He adds to clarify that he has no intentions of physically harming Gemma, but he'd be lying if he said that that thought isn't constantly in the back of his mind, like a failsafe so to speak, a last resort. But he shakes those thoughts away because he made a promise to Tara and for once in his fucking life he won't go back on it, even if it might cost him dearly in the end. "I won't let her win. I promise. But ... I have to go see her, Tara."
"No, you don't." Tara quips back without missing a beat, her voice is loud and firm again this time, in stark contrast to her whispered plea from just a moment ago. After these latest revelations, she's no longer on board with him meeting Gemma face to face. Nothing good will come of it!
But Jax pins her down with a glare. "I fucking won't just idly sit by and let her threaten you, let her drag your name through the mud and hurt you again. I can't, Babe! Gemma will pay for what she did to you."
Tara looks back at him in confusion, not sure what to make of his statement. Her voice is as unsure as the question she's asking out loud "If you're not going to hurt her then ... what are you gonna do?"
"Do you trust me?" He asks with raised eyebrows, his face once more an open book when he reaches across the table to hold both her hands again in wait for her to reply even though he already knows her answer.
And it's kind of sobering to him, but also a true testament to how far they've come, when he acknowledges that just a few months ago her answer would've been a resounding 'No'.
"Of course, I do, Jax," Tara answers, clasping his hands just as tightly in return, granting him a small yet reassuring smile despite the turmoil in her heart.
"I've got a plan, ... but you might not like it."
X
Two days later, late afternoon, Stockton County Jail.
Jax repeatedly twists his wedding band back and forth, these days it's his go-to nervous tick whenever he's feening for a cigarette. But today it's more than that, without Tara here right beside him the plain gold band - the only ring that adorns his hands these days -serves as a reminder of why he's here, why he's doing what he's about to do. Owning my place, protecting my wife!
It's almost comical to him that his palms are a little sweaty and that he finds himself a bit nervous to face his own mother, something he'd never ever admit out loud though to anyone, but then again, under these circumstances he feels like his nervousness is very much justified because of what's at stake.
It's not that he's scared of Gemma, no, that couldn't be further from the truth, but it's just that too much is riding on the right outcome of this visit with her. The reason he's nervous is that he knows that he'll only get one shot at doing this right. It's all dependent on him and his ability to lie and betray and basically bullshit his way through a conversation with the woman that brought him into this world. And let's face it, Gemma is suspicious by nature, she lives and breathes that shit, so getting one over on her is by no means an easy feat.
He knows he has to strategize his way through this, has to outsmart her somehow and be able to anticipate her next move, has to remain level-headed and direct all his focus on his ultimate end goal, the main objective, - saving Tara!
Nothing else matters, he can't let her get to him, he won't let her get to him! He has to at least see past his boiling rage and anger long enough to get what he came here for. Has to be smart and fast, play off of her, his opponent, and think on his feet. Like on the fly having to recite his part of a script to a play, he's heard of, but has never actually had the chance to even read through.
"Ready?" A voice somewhere to his right asks out loud and brings him out of his thoughts and back to the dreadful here and now.
'I'm scared!' - Tara's words to him from early this morning when he was about to head out echo inside his head. Me too, Babe, me too!
"Yeah." He nods even though he doesn't sound ready at all, his voice horse and foreign-sounding even to his own ears. Emotions he doesn't want to admit to himself clogging his throat, so he quickly coughs then to remedy that, taking in a sobering breath just as the heavy steel door is being opened for him to walk on through. It's Showtime!
And there she is, already seated at the table and waiting for him, donning that orange get-up he himself has been all too familiar with over the years, and looking nothing like herself, - Gemma!
Their eyes meet instantly across the small distance that still separates them, and he doesn't miss how she smiles up at him, even if just for a split second, because it comes so naturally to her, like an old habit. All the while he's fighting with every ounce of restraint left in him to not downright scowl back at her in response.
He recently read somewhere that hate and love are essentially the same feelings, and for the first time, he wonders if that might just be true, because a person you're feeling indifferent toward wouldn't be able to evoke the kind of emotions that are coursing through him at this very moment. But he shakes that thought away again, not wanting to further dwell on it or what it means ... cause fuck if it doesn't hurt. She's my Mom!
He tries to slip on a mask of indifference, slowly steps toward the table, and takes a seat across from her while he truly takes all of her in without so much as a word in greeting.
Jail is certainly not becoming of her. A sight for sore eyes she is not. In fact, it almost shocks him a little just how different she looks from the dolled-up woman she used to be. Oh, how the mighty have fallen!
Her hair is still long as it always has been, but it's flat with no volume to it, hanging in lifeless clumps down her shoulders and back, and the growing gray roots make her look much older than he's ever seen her.
Her face is so different too, completely clean and void of any trace of her usual makeup, or even the equivalent of what is often used within places like this. It shows off every line, every wrinkle, and crinkle she'd previously been able to conceal, and it makes her look ashen, gaunt even. Sickly is probably the best word to describe her. If he wasn't so angry he'd almost feel sorry for her. But he won't!
"I wasn't sure you were really gonna come." She's the first to speak and break the ice, but the waiver in her voice lets him know that she's nervous too. Maybe even more so than him, and it already has him wondering if he can use that to his advantage somehow.
"I wasn't sure I'd come either." He replies unsympathetically. "I was past the halfway point when I almost turned around again to head back home." He admits, and it isn't just a line in this verbal game of chess they're playing, but it's the truth, he almost hadn't made it here today. He'd almost called the Club to set up that other thing, that failsafe, and get it over with, but he forced himself to remember his promise to Tara and didn't make that call, and now he's here.
"But you came," Gemma states but with an unmistakable questioning tone, searching his face for any reassurance that he still cares about her, any sign that the boy she loves is still in there.
"But I came." He states rather flatly in reply, letting out the breath he's been holding in an audible sigh.
The moment stretches on with neither of them speaking, but Jax can sense that she's searching for the right words to start. But then he takes notice of how her eyes flicker to the two-way mirror first, and then up toward the camera in the corner by the ceiling for just a second too, and he can't help but follow her gaze. There's no red light emanating from it, suggesting it's not recording, and it's the perfect opportunity for him to make his first move.
"I bought the room, Mom." He blurts out with an air of annoyance in his voice, leaning back into his chair as he takes in her reaction to his revelation.
"You did?" She asks, and when he simply nods his answer she can't help but wonder out loud. "The Club?"
If there's one thing you can count on it's Gemma's never-ending need of wanting to know everything, and he's quickly reminded of what a delicate dance this little talk with her will truly be. He's treading on thin ice here, because at any given moment she could say something that could end up being his downfall more so than her own.
"I called in some favors, let's just leave it at that." He replies dismissively, making it clear to her that he's not in the mood to delve deeper into the how, and if he's being technical, he isn't lying about the having called-in-some-favors part.
But it doesn't surprise him that she can't quite let it go just yet when she has to ask. "Why?"
"Why?" He repeats her question and sits upright again, his nostrils flaring while he tries to keep his temper in check and pins her down with an angry glare. "For the same goddamn reason why I didn't turn around and am sitting here now. Because I want some fucking answers." His voice isn't exactly loud, but it's certainly harsh enough that it makes her flinch back in response.
"Huh?" She scoffs having recovered as quick as ever from his harsh outburst, and for the first time, there's a hint of the Gemma he knows shining through when she smirks back at him and adds with a sneer. "That's funny, 'cause I want fucking answers too, son."
Jax links his hands together in front of him, meeting her icy glare head-on when he replies. "You answer mine, I'll answer yours."
After a moment of contemplation, she gives him one simple nod of acknowledgment, but it's all Jax needs to get straight to the point and the reason why he's here.
"How could you?" He asks, barely able to hide how it breaks his heart that he even has to ask this. "How could you do that to Tara?" It's a fair question. It's a genuine question.
For the first time since he's stepped into this room Gemma looks actually guilty, with her eyes downcast he hopes she's simply trying to find the right words instead of ignoring his question altogether.
"I wasn't thinking. I had been drinking. I was high." She says in an uncharacteristically quiet voice, finally daring to meet his eyes again when she finds the resolve to carry on. "She took the boys and disappeared, and I thought she'd made a deal. I thought she'd betrayed you and the Club."
Jax looks away and wipes a tear that rolls from his eyes, the words are already getting to him, but he knows it's not nearly enough. He clears his throat. "Juice recorded a confession, and recalled finding Tara and you in the kitchen."
"I know." Gemma nods. "My lawyer mentioned it."
"I want to know what happened, Mom." Jax pleads with her, desperation in his voice.
"I already told you what happened." She counters, not understanding what more he could want.
"No, you didn't. You told me what you thought Tara had done. You told me that you weren't thinking, that you were messed up, you're basically just giving me excuses for what had happened. And in the video Juice told what he walked in on, what he thinks happened, and what happened after. But what I want - what I need - is to know what actually fucking happened between Tara and you."
Gemma shakes her head and scoffs again, looking away from him once more in thought, and for a moment he fears that she might be catching on to him when she says. "Didn't Tara already fill you in on all the sorted details? Spilled her guts to the cops and to you? I mean, isn't that why I'm sitting here in this timeless orange ensemble? Whoever said 'orange is the new black' is full of shit."
Jax nods at that, contemplating on how to push her into a full confession without tipping her off. "Yes, I heard her version more times than I can count. But I want to hear yours." Even though it's all just an act, a means to an end, it bothers him to even imply that he actually gives a shit about her version of events.
But he can see it in her eyes already, how that tiny questioning waver in his voice just now caught her attention and she thinks this might actually get her back into his good graces if she can find just the right way to tell him the truth.
"Okay." She nods a moment later, leaning forward and resting her forearms on the table, momentarily trying to find the right words to recall what had happened that day. Tara's injuries spoke volumes, so Gemma already knows that she has no choice but to stick closer to the truth than she'd like to. "I was at the house, it was a goddamn pigsty, I was trying to clean up. I was in the laundry room, and the washer and dryer were going, I never heard the front door, didn't hear her come in. I couldn't make out what she said, but I heard her voice at the same moment I stepped back into the kitchen. And there she was. Just standing there, staring at me, like she was taunting me."
She pauses, taking a deep breath before she dares to carry on. "I'm not even sure if she came at me or if I came at her first. It's all just a big messy blur. But we fought, both of us trying to gain the upper hand over the other. I grabbed a hold of the iron." She pauses when she sees Jax wipe away a tear, but then she nods when she adds. "I hit her with it, but I honestly can't remember where. Her side maybe? Her ribs? We struggled back and forth, and somehow she knocked the iron out of my hands. Made her lose her balance though, and gave me the upper hand. I hit her again with my fist, and she tried to push back. Pushed her into the sink water, but she ... she wasn't giving in, she wasn't giving up. All I saw was her betrayal of you and the Club and I just knew what had to be done. So I grabbed the first thing that I could reach, the first thing I saw ... and stabbed her with it. I stabbed her with a carving fork." She pauses for just a second, her own emotions beginning to get the best of her now, taking in a shuddering breath before she adds on a sigh. "You know the rest from Juice."
"Jesus Christ." Jax blurts out. The entire time Gemma spoke he's fought to keep his emotions in check, but now he's wiping at the tears that are mercilessly rolling down his face, and in turn, Gemma mimics the action, wiping at her own falling tears too when she sees the pain she caused him.
"I'm sorry, Jax. I'm so sorry." She pleads with him, even dares to reach across the table to clutch his hand in hers, but he quickly pulls it away, can't stand the thought of letting her touch him right now. "You have to understand that I was beside myself when I thought she'd ratted, and then dared to show up at your house like that. How was I supposed to know that you were the one who had made a deal and not her? I was left in the dark, and assumed the worst."
He can't believe she confessed to it all. It should make him happy, make him relieved, but it just doesn't. He's crushed, his heart broken all over again when he relives the pain she caused him.
Jax swipes both his hands down his face, trying to wipe the last remnants of his tears away before he meets her eyes across the table again. "That was my mistake, to not fill you in right away." He replies, at last, his face red and blotchy from his still heightened emotions, and he sniffles before he adds. "I mean, Tara had warned me time and again about what kind of person you truly are, but I guess I didn't see it. I guess I was just too blinded by my love for you to realize what you were actually capable of. I didn't see what kind of monster my own mother was, ... or still is."
"Jackson -." Gemma pleads.
"No." He barks back loud enough to startle her again, interrupting her before she can utter another word.
His head is telling him that he got what he came here for, that it's time to cut and run before she says anything incriminating about him.
But his heart? His achy, battered, and bruised heart is urging him to stay and have it out with her. Get all of this baggage off of his chest, unload it all on her, and leave it here with her, in the past where it belongs.
He clears his throat, and then he looks right at her when he starts to speak in the calmest voice he can muster considering the circumstances. "Can you even imagine how hard it's been to wrap my mind around the fact that the one person that's supposed to love me unconditionally, my own mother, turns out to be responsible for causing me this unfathomable amount of pain? You encouraged, plotted, and ultimately helped Clay kill my father, and you did so without a care about the damage it would do to me. But instead of learning from the pain you've caused, you went after my wife. Again without giving a shit what it would do to me, or to your grandsons, to Abel and Thomas. Since I found out the truth, I've been waking up every day, still thinking back on every bad decision that I ever made because of you. I want you to explain to me how you can say that you love me so much, and then just do something that you know will destroy me anyways?"
Gemma knows the hurt and pain she caused him all too well, she's lived through that with him, and even now she can see it clearly on his face. Deep down she knows she was wrong, is wrong on so many levels, but at the same time acting remorseful and confessing the ugly truth to him just moments ago has gotten her nowhere either, so naturally her self-preservation kicks in like it always does and she goes on the offensive again instead.
She scoffs, recalling his last question just now, because when it comes to the Teller men, the apple doesn't fall far from the unfaithful tree. "Maybe you should ask yourself that question, Jax? After all, you claim that Tara is your all in all, your one true love, but that has never stopped you from betraying and destroying her when the mood struck you."
But Jax scoffs back in reply, shaking his head and rolling his eyes in disbelief at her cheap shot. He should've expected it though, should've known she'd lash out instead of taking responsibility for her actions. He knows and still struggles with the guilt of his mistakes concerning Tara, with the way he's betrayed her in the past, so he sure as shit doesn't need to be reminded of it by Gemma of all people. "You know what I think? I think that you've been this toxic person for so long, that you don't even try to be any other way anymore? Probably don't even want to?"
"Oh, but you do?" She fires back without missing a beat. "You shrug out of the Kutte, leave the Club and Charming and the whores in your rearview mirror, and you actually think that'll magically turn you into father-knows-best? Overnight you're suddenly Ricky Ricardo to Tara's Lucy? Like nothing ever happened? Like your dick will only rise for your wife from here on out?" She laughs out loud, shaking her head at him a second later when she adds. "You can take the man out of the Club, darlin', but you can't take the Club out of the man. So go and run back to Oregon, ... hell, you can run to the ends of the earth, sweetheart, but it doesn't change who you are. You are SAMCRO through and through, it's in your blood, and no matter how hard you try to pretend otherwise, there is no changing that. You can't change who you are, son!"
"You really believe that, don't you? You really think we just are who we are and there's nothing we can do about it? That it's just out of our hands, so why even try, right? Well, ... you couldn't be more wrong, Mom, because just like we're capable of changing for the worse, growing mean and corrupt, we can change for the better again too. It's not easy, far from it, it's hard as fuck to shake all that history, trust me, I know, but it is possible. I know it is, because Tara showed me that it is. You see, all you really need is one person who believes in you. One person who truly loves you so much that they can see past all the bad shit you've done, they can see that better version of you even when you can't see it yourself yet. And I have her, Mom. I have that person in Tara, I've had her all along, but I lost sight of that, ... it took me almost losing her for good to fucking realize it. So now, I'll be that better person that she knows I can be. And I'm doing that without putting on a show for her, or having to pretend to be someone that I'm not. In this life I'm sharing with her I don't have to try to be happy, because when I'm with her I am happy, it just happens."
But Gemma won't hear of it, and shakes her head at his ludicrous words. "This is just like you, Jackson, you've always romanticized your relationship with Tara, trying to turn it into something that it's not. What you and she have isn't fate, son, there's no higher power at play here. The truth of the matter is, if you put two people in a room together long enough eventually they're gonna fuck. She took you back again because you were there, 'cause you still wanted her, simple as that, but if your history with her is any indication, then you know that it'll never last."
She looks right at him, and pins him down with a glare. "Before you know it you'll be pushing a shopping cart through Costco with a diaper bag and two kids in tow while your doctor wife is off somewhere making big money, leaving you wondering how the fuck that happened? And do you honestly think that Tara's still gonna want you when that happens? She fell in love with an outlaw, with a man's man who takes care of business. It's the bad-boy that gets her wet, not goody-two-shoes Mister-fucking-Rogers? Before long she's not gonna want you anymore, I know it and deep down you know it too. Let's just hope when that happens it won't be too late and the Club will still take you back."
Clearly, she'd meant for her words to be insulting to him, gnawed at his ego and self-worth too, and maybe a few months ago they would've done exactly that. But right now all Jax can do is laugh out loud in response, much to Gemma's disappointment, because if there's one thing he knows it's that Tara's insatiable about what he's concerned about. Just this morning she'd woken him the best way possible by climbing naked on top of him to make love. She rode him good and hard so that by the time their actual alarm had gone off they'd both been wide awake, lying spent in each other's arms and trying to catch their breaths.
As for the money thing, Greg has helped him see the light where that is concerned, but it obviously didn't hurt that he'd been able to walk away with a small windfall from the Club either. Gemma didn't know about that though, and Jax wasn't feeling particularly inclined to share it with her now. The truth is he simply doesn't give a shit anymore what she thinks, her mean-spirited words don't faze him anymore.
Instead, he says. "Is that the best you got? Looks like you're losing your touch in here." He teases, and is grinning at her before he taps a finger to his temple and adds. "You're not in my head anymore, Mom, the bullshit you're spewing is just that -bullshit! And as far as the Club is concerned, I'm done. I'll never go back to that life, that's a promise. As a matter of fact, I'll gladly be that guy pushing the cart if it means I get to move on from you and all the toxic shit you've been feeding me my whole damn life. So yeah, I'll live that quiet life with her beside me, watch our kids grow up, and maybe if I'm really lucky I'll die peacefully in her arms when I'm old and gray. But make no mistake about it, this new me isn't weak. I promise you that I'll stop at nothing to destroy anyone who'll try to harm Tara or our kids again."
Gemma sneers at that and is about to open her mouth to counter, something sharp and vile and angry already on the tip of her tongue, but then the words get stuck in her throat when Jax pulls out a small stack of photographs and places them wordlessly between them.
All her attention is instantly drawn to the pictures and she quickly fans them out in front of her so she can take them all in at once, and for the first time in a long time, her face lights up in true joy when she takes in the beautiful faces of her grandsons.
"Oh, my God." She sighs out loud. "I can't believe how much they've grown. Jesus, look how big Thomas is getting, he is catching up with Abel." She says, sounding truly astounded, looking up at her son again and is gratified when his nod of agreement is accompanied by a proud and genuine smile for the first time too.
Jax watches her and waits a little longer, giving her a few more moments to take it all in, before he pulls out one last thing from his pocket and pushes the ultrasound picture in front of her too. At that Gemma's jaw goes slack and she stares with an open mouth back at him. The unspoken question hanging in the air between them.
He answers that question when he announces with yet another proud smile. "This is the newest Teller. Tara swears it's another boy, but I'm bettin' it's a girl." Then his smile is gone again, and the look he gives her next speaks volumes, practically daring her to bring up the fake baby and miscarriage just so he can reprimand her for doing so.
But for once she surprises him when she doesn't do what he expects her to. She's just too shocked, too tongue-tied still, and feeling grateful for this sweet gesture from him to even know what to say in response to the news. After a long moment, she swallows away the lump that has formed in her throat and nods appreciatively back at him with tear-filled eyes, gesturing to the photos and saying. "Thank you for this, Jax, it means so much."
But to her shock and surprise, Jax just scoffs at her and shakes his head as he gathers the photographs back in his hands. "You misunderstood, Mom. I didn't do this as a favor to you. I brought them so you can see what you're missing out on, not only because of what you did to their mother, but what you did to their grandfather too."
"Jackson!" She blurts his name out like a plea, true sorrow in her eyes now, and maybe for the first time she's allowing herself to face and admit the other consequences of her actions, the loss of her family, but it's too little too late and she knows it.
But Jax shocks her once more when his face grows even grimmer and he simply says. "They're gonna offer you a plea deal, Mom, I'd suggest you take it."
"What are you talking about?" She asks in reply at first, but it doesn't take her long at all to realize what just happened and a truly horrified expression crosses her face when she looks back to the two-way mirror to the right of her.
"You set me up?" She asks at first, but then she yells it when she repeats the question for a second time. "You set me up?" She looks around the room in confusion, before her tear-filled eyes land back on her son and she blurts out in disbelief. "Jesus Christ, who the hell are you? I don't even recognize you anymore."
But Jax seems completely unfazed by her outrage, and simply shoots her an icy glare. "The reason you don't know who I am anymore is because you broke me, and Tara put me back together differently ... better!"
"I can't believe you'd do this to me. You're fucking crazy, Jax." She declares loud enough that her voice echoes through the small room.
But Jax simply pushes his chair back and comes to a stand, glaring down at her some more before he says. "Maybe I really am crazy? I don't know. Hell, I must still be talking to you at all after what you've done. But in case you're wondering what made me do this? What that final little feather was that settled and tipped the scale against you and convinced me to come here today? It was you, Mom. It was you threatening Tara again, making up shit to take her down with you. You've got no one to blame but yourself, all of this, everything that happened is all on you. So you should really listen and hear me, Mother, 'cause I'm only going to say this once. The next time you want to threaten, humiliate, ambush, hurt, or otherwise fuck with my wife in any way, shape, or form, you'd do well to remember who it is you're fucking with and what she means to me, because I will stop at absolutely nothing to protect her, especially from you."
And while Gemma is still trying to comprehend what happened and what he's just said to her, Jax is already at the door, knocking impatiently with the urge to finally leave, and within seconds the door is open and he's being ushered out of the room.
Out of her sight now, just on the other side of the door, Jax struggles to keep up the stoic face he's presented her with and the emotions he's been suppressing are beginning to bubble to the surface now.
"Just get this shit off of me." He barks out, holding up his shirt now, and is quickly surrounded by two lawmen who carefully remove the wires and microphone that are taped to his body.
Jax rushes to the nearest bathroom without a second to spare, leaning over the sink when a wave of nausea hits him, but his stomach is empty and so he mostly just dry heaves in response for a long minute. The door to his right opens just then and through the reflection in the mirror he sees Wayne step inside, coming to stand there rather awkwardly while neither of them wants to be the first to speak.
But it's Jax who can't hold his tongue and just has to ask. "Is it enough?"
Wayne takes the question as his cue to step a little bit closer before he answers him with a firm nod of his head. "Between the camera and your wire, ... yes, it is. If Gemma's smart, she'll take the plea deal. And if she does, all of this would be over, and Tara won't have to take the stand at all." He further explains, although he's got no doubt that Jax is aware and already counting on that.
"Let's hope she's smart then," Jax replies before he bends over the sink again to splash some cold water on his face to freshen up, and even into his mouth to rinse away the lingering taste of bile too.
He straightens up a moment later, reaching for a couple paper towels from the dispenser to dry his face with when he catches Wayne's eyes and expression again in the mirror and can't help but ask. "What?"
Wayne clears his throat, fumbling for a long moment with the words and the way on how to say what he wants to say here. "I know how much she's hurt you-."
"Don't, man," Jax interjects at once and scoffs, because he's not sure he wants to hear this. "This is not the time to tell me how you think deep down she's still a good person or some other bullshit like that. I really don't wanna hear it. Not now."
But Wayne waves him off. "That's not where I was going with this, Jax. Just ... Please just let me say this, hear me out."
After a moment of contemplation, Jax leans back against the sink, folding his arms in front of his chest, and with a subtle little nod agrees to listen, giving Wayne his undivided attention at last.
"I've always hated that my first instinct is to protect her, even now when I know everything that she's done, but then again I never really tried very hard to fight that instinct either. I think ... I think some part of it is because I love her, and the other part is because somehow when I look at her, I can still see the broken and betrayed girl that ran away from home, you know? But that being said, there is no saving Gemma anymore. I know that now. And I also know the fact that she's even still here, that she's still breathing, that you called the cops and got her arrested instead of putting an end to her yourself, and then ... then called me to help set this up, coming here like this, confronting her in there, in this way, ... I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've known you since you were just a little boy, and that is also how I know that what you did here today goes against everything Gemma herself has ingrained in you from day one. And I know that that wasn't an easy thing for you to do." He emits a sad-sounding and humorless chuckle when he adds. "But I guess that's why it ended in your favor like it just did, because, in her wildest dreams, she couldn't imagine that you'd go this far against the Club ways."
Jax remains quiet though, and so neither of them is speaking for a long moment, but then Wayne's shaking his head in thought before he carries on. "You said you only did this for Tara, and yeah, maybe that's true, or ... or maybe it's just what you had to tell yourself to make it through today. But either way, you might not know it yet, and judging by that retching you just did there you certainly aren't feeling it yet, but I hope someday, maybe even someday soon, you'll come to see that you really did the right thing here today, even if it doesn't feel like it right now."
He clears his throat again before he dares a hint of a smile and is shaking his finger at Jax like he so often does when he's rambling. "You know, I read this quote the other day, can't remember who it's from, some ... some C.S. or what not, but ... but anyway, it still stuck with me because it made me think of you and your new life up in Oregon with your little family. It goes, 'You can't go back to change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.' It's fitting, don't you think?" Wayne asks and when Jax simply nods in reply, he takes another step closer toward him, close enough to rest his hand on the younger man's shoulder, and then meets Jax's eyes with sincerity when he says at last. "I'm proud of you, son."
X
Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please leave me a few words if you can. Thank you.
P.S. Some have asked if this is the end of the story, and I just wanted to reassure everyone that it's not. There is still a bit more of their story I'm planning to tell!