You And Me And Our Boys

by SkaterSince2004

JAX & TARA AU LOVE STORY (focus on them & not the club)! Will Tara make a full recovery? Will they be able to rebuild their relationship again? Or will secrets, lies, and misconceptions keep them apart? ***Spoilers for the S6 Finale, AU after that*** Warning: Slow Burn. Rated M/R for strong language/violence/adult themes/smut. Please review.

60. Chapter 60

Warning: (some) Smut!

X

The next morning …

Sweat begins to gather at Jax's temple as he stares with wide eyes at his blood-covered hands in front of him. Then the crippling anxiety is quickly overtaken by confusion about why the hell they're covered in blood and whose blood it is they're covered with. But when he looks beside him on the bed, he flinches in shock, finding and staring at the lifeless body of his wife.

Tara! No, no, no, no, no, no! Not Tara!

Muttering a chorus of "no, no, no" and "I love you" under his breath as he tries to locate the wound where the blood is coming from. But there's no use, there's too much blood and he can't help but scoop her up into his arms, holding her limp body tightly, cradling her head against his chest as tears streak down his face when he cries out in agony and disbelief. How the fuck did I let this happen again?

The wedding bouquet of red roses lies crumpled beside them. Red roses that match the deep red blood staining the sheets, her skin, and her beautiful dress which he assumed was once stark white.

In the blink of an eye, he takes in the whole scene surrounding them. It looks like there are small specs of blood everywhere, on the walls, the carpet, the furniture, the bed, all over him and all over her. What the hell happened here?

"Had to be done." Gemma's quiet yet somehow steely voice echoes through the bedroom, startling him and causing him to whip his head up in the direction of his mother all while protectively clutching Tara's cold body closer against him.

She stands at the open door to the room, looking exactly the same as he remembers her. Same calculated look on her face, same makeup, same hair, same revealing type of clothing he remembers her wearing all his life, the only thing vastly different about her is that she is also covered in Tara's blood.

She raises a blood-smeared cigarette to her thin pursed lips like she doesn't have a fucking care in the world, and lights it before she nods at Tara's lifeless body cradled in his arms all while muttering again, "Had to be done."

"Why, Mom? Why?" The words rip like a high-pitched cry from his lungs, surprising himself at the guttural pain he can so clearly hear in them, his voice so distorted it sounds like that of a stranger even to his own ears.

Gemma seems unaffected by the pain she's caused him though. Her stare is cold when she steps closer, leaning over his side of the bed to cup his cheek with one blood-covered hand, and says, "She took you away from me, Jackson. But you're mine. You'll always be mine!"

Jax wakes with a start, his arms still tightly clutching Tara. Except, he's not really clutching her, because she isn't here, and what he's actually holding is just another overstuffed pillow.

Although the pillow in his arms should've been clue enough, his still pounding heart defies reason and he instantly whips his head to the left side of the bed. And when he finds it empty, and also stark white, and bloodstain free, he exhales as he rolls onto his back again.

"Jesus Christ," he mutters in relief under his breath, gulping in a mouthful of air while he sags back against his pillow, trying to force his body to relax. His chest rises and falls rapidly while he tries to fully return to reality.

Fuck, the feel of Tara's cold and lifeless body, and the unmistakable coppery smell of blood surrounding him, it felt so real just moments ago, but thankfully it was nothing more than a horrible nightmare.

But nightmare or not, he has no control over how his mind goes back to that fateful day, when he found Tara lying lifeless on their kitchen floor. He thought he'd lost her for good when he'd lifted her into his arms that day.

He swallows at the memory of holding her and the agony from that night that mirrors how he'd felt in that sickening nightmare just now. The feeling of cradling her limp body mixed with the utter helplessness he felt is imprinted on his soul. It doesn't seem to matter how hard he works to let go of the past, some things, like that moment, would always have a hold over him. He doubts he will ever be able to forget it, no matter how hard he tries.

He swipes a hand down his face, only to suddenly realize it's wet because he's been crying, and then rubs the heels of his palms over his eyes to rub and dry and wipe the remnants of his tears away.

Opening his eyes again, with a groan, he hoists himself up into a sitting position against the headboard, running a hand through his disheveled hair as he looks over at the nightstand, reaching for his phone, for a second he takes in the little jewelry box sitting there, before he longingly eyes the pack of cigarettes sitting there too. Wishful thinking, can't smoke in here without setting off the damn fire alarm.

Checking his phone for any calls or messages he might've missed, he notes the time and realizes it's still early. It's only seven-thirty, but he's got no doubt the boys will be up soon, maybe already are, and causing a racket for Mrs. Ellie and her daughter Allison.

He must go over there and take them off their hands for a while. Take the boys downstairs for the complimentary breakfast, and afterward, he'll let them burn off some energy at the playground in the park right beside this place, then grab a quick lunch, followed by a nap, and by then it'll already be time to get ready for the nuptials.

And he'll do all that, but first, after that horror-filled dream, and knowing he won't get to see her until later this afternoon, he needs to at least hear her voice.

He holds the phone up to his ear, listening to the ringing, and then wonders if she might still be asleep, second-guessing himself.

And just when he thinks about hanging up, the ringing stops, and her breathy voice comes over the line with a "Morning, baby" that instantly has blood rushing straight to his cock.

"Morning," he replies, clearing his throat as he adjusts the semi-chub in his boxer briefs, then as an afterthought, he quickly adds, "Happy anniversary, Babe."

"Happy anniversary," she answers, sounding happy at those words, but still a little sleepy too, and as he suspected she must've just woken up.

"Did I wake you?" He asks, finally able to truly relax back against the headboard, as any remaining anxiety from that nightmare drains away at the soothing sound of her voice.

"Yeah," she says, yawning, but before he can say anything else, she quickly adds, "Gotta get up anyway. The girls and I have appointments for a massage and mani-pedis. And I need a quick shower first."

At her words, his mind instantly flashes through different images of her. First naked in the shower, her body glistening with soap, and then she's lying naked on a massage table, this time her skin slick with oil. These thoughts almost instantly morph his semi into a full-blown erection, but then his mind catches up with the implications of the last fantasy, and he wonders out loud. "With a chick, right?"

"What?" Tara replies confused, and then there's fabric rustling as she sits up in bed, and the tenderness in her thigh muscles reminds her of their risky behavior last night as she leans back against the headboard of her bed. She raises her eyes to the ceiling, thinking about how insane that was for them to do the night before their wedding.

"The masseuse or whatever they're called," he interrupts her drifting thoughts as he tries to explain, "it better be a woman, 'cause no way in hell some dude's gonna touch you today before I get to."

She's trying not to chuckle after hearing the outrage in his voice at the thought that some random man might get to rub her down naked, and shakes her head to herself. The action causes the scent of him and his cologne that still lingers in her long, dark hair to surround her. She lifts a strand, presses it to her nose, closes her eyes, and enjoys his warm familiar scent that triggers another memory of last night's escapades. For a moment she allows herself to enjoy this jealous side of him and teases him by asking, "Is that so?"

"Yeah, that is fucking so."

The still-too-stern sound of his voice prompts her to now put him out of his misery immediately, because the last thing she wants to do is upset him for real today of all days, "Yeah, of course, it's a woman. And Christy told 'em I'm pregnant when she made the reservation, in case you're worried about that too."

"Didn't know I needed to worry 'bout that." He admits, but relieved by her answer that it's not a guy doing the massaging, his mind drifts back to the little fantasy that played out in his head before he got sidetracked with a sudden bout of jealousy. And so he takes a chance to see if she's game when he asks, "You still in bed? What are you wearing, Babe?"

Surprised by the sudden change of topic again, Tara laughs, suddenly sounding way more awake when she admonishes him, "Really, Jax?"

"What?" he feigns innocence. "Pretty sure phone sex doesn't break with tradition. We're neither seeing nor touching each other."

"No," Tara says simply, although her cheeks are blushing a little when a shiver of longing moves through her at the memory of last night again. It had been risky, yes, but it was also incredibly hot and amazing too, and she has no regrets.

"No, what?" He feigns ignorance this time.

"No, we're not starting our wedding day out with phone sex." She explains. Although tempted, she wants tonight -their honeymoon- to be special, hence her insistence on sleeping in separate rooms last night, so phone sex is out of the question too.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," he smirks as he teases her, but the nightmare he had prompts him to admit truthfully, "I just can't sleep worth a damn without you."

He swears he can hear her sigh on the other end of the line, right before she replies, "Me too. But after tonight, we'll have five whole nights and days to just us. Focus on that. Eye on the price!"

"Oh, I'm focused," he replies, sounding serious all of a sudden, then advises her, "Might wanna get an afternoon nap in, baby, because there won't be much sleeping happening tonight."

"Can't wait," she answers, and then laughs at the groan coming from him in response.

And that answer and laugh from her soothe away some achy spot that still lingered on his heart from that goddamn nightmare, and he absentmindedly rubs his fingers across his heart and Abel tattoo, in response.

"Did you look outside yet?" Tara suddenly asks out of the blue, and with it takes their conversation in another direction.

In response, he glances toward the window, and from what he can see, the sky's gray, overcast, and dreary looking. He can even see smaller, wispy clouds drifting leisurely against the backdrop of larger, darker clouds. Shit, just our luck!

He hopes the sun makes an appearance for Tara's sake because he knows how much she longs for a photo album full of pictures outside and on the beach to remember today. "It could still clear up." He says, wishing he had some sort of superpower to make that happen for her.

"I hope so," she admits, the fear of disappointment evident in her voice.

Changing gears, he reaches for the little jewelry box on his nightstand, and swallows away the emotions and memories the content suddenly brings forth, before he says, "I've got a little present for you that'll cheer you up."

"Last time you were pretty outraged when I called it little," Tara remarks sarcastically, remembering teasing one another when she'd referred to his dick as "Little Teller" once.

Jax laughs out loud in response, instantly getting the reference but then he's already shaking his head at her reply, "No, Babe. Although that could cheer you up too if you'd only let me. This time I'm talking about an actual present."

"Really?" Tara sounds thoroughly surprised, then adds with a tad of apprehension in her voice, "You got me something? I didn't get you anything."

"You've given me plenty." Jax readily supplies, and without having to even think about it, he rattles off an impromptu list of things she's given to or done for him, "You gave me Thomas, took Abel on as your own, and are giving me another little one. Tried pulling me out of the life when we were kids, and we might've taken the long way, but you did get me out, you did save me. And I sure as shit didn't deserve a second … anything from you, but you gave me another second chance anyway … shit, I lost track of how many second chances you've given me." He wipes at his eyes, out of nowhere feeling emotional again. "Look, this gift ain't much, Babe, but I wanted you to have it. I love you, Tara."

"I love you too, Jackson," she easily replies, the genuine emotions behind his words getting to her, and have her eyes tearing up as well. She loves that he always knows just what to say to lighten the mood, but she can't deny how much she loves this mushy but genuine side of him even more. It's a side of Jax that not many ever get to see, and she loves that he's showing it to her so easily these days too. "And all I want is you, and our family."

"You have me," he says, "and our family. Forever, I promise, Babe!"

Emotions feel suddenly too raw, and there's a stretch of silence with neither of them speaking out of fear of their voice breaking.

Then Jax finally speaks up, glancing down at the jewelry box in his hand once more, "I'll track down Christy, and get this gift to you."

"We're spending so much money on this wedding, you didn't have to get me anything." Tara feels the need to point this out. Yes, technically it is their anniversary, but because of the wedding, she really hadn't expected they'd be exchanging gifts today.

"It cost next to nothing, I promise," he answers, and it's the truth, there is literally no monetary value to it, it cost him twenty-five cents a lifetime ago. But sentimentally it has immeasurable value and in hindsight, he feels like an idiot that he hadn't thought of giving it to her much sooner, like when he first got out of Stockton and proposed, perhaps.

"Well, … thank you," Tara replies, sounding intrigued about what it could be when she adds, "I'm sure I'll love it … whatever it is." Then there's another brief pause, before she says, "I gotta get ready to meet the girls. I guess I'll see you at the chapel. I'll be the one in white. " She adds, in hopes that his reply will give her a hint of what he'll be wearing today.

He'd previously insisted that a monkey suit just wasn't his style, but hadn't elaborated what exactly that meant, so she pretty much expects him to wear his nicest pair of jeans, and if she's really lucky a white button-down shirt instead of flannel, for a change.

But Jax knows exactly what she's doing and simply replies, "I'll be the one waiting for you at the end of the aisle."

"Love you." Tara answers, not at all surprised that he didn't take the bait.

"Love you too, Babe," Jax answers, and when the line goes dead, he puts the phone back on the nightstand and finally sits all the way up.

He swings his legs over the side of the bed, but almost instantly drops his head into his hands at the sudden headache that pierces through his skull. Yeah, he probably shouldn't have downed all those damn shots that were offered to him last night because of Christy's stupid shirt. Buy me a shot, I'm tying the knot, … my ass!

Eventually, with another groan, he stands, strips out of the boxer briefs he slept in, and steps barefoot and naked into the small ensuite bathroom. He turns on the shower, relieving himself while he waits for the water to heat up, and then quickly steps beneath the hot spray.

A quick shower, a much-needed smoke, maybe track down some coffee and ibuprofen for this goddamn headache, check out the little place nearby he booked for their honeymoon, and then take the boys off Mrs. Ellie's hands for a couple of hours until it's time to get ready.

That's the plan he's formulating in his head, and with his thoughts elsewhere now, any lingering tension from that nightmare has completely eased away when he soaps up, letting the hot water wash over him and rinse him clean of everything, before he gets out and hurriedly dries off.

Keeping his mind on today, Jax digs through his mostly still-packed suitcase, pulling out everything he needs for now, grabbing a pair of dark jeans, and a charcoal gray, long-sleeve Henley, and quickly pulls them on.

After brushing his teeth and running his hands through his still-damp hair, as promised he shoots a text to Christy about linking up to give her Tara's gift, and then sends another text out to Mrs. Ellie to give her a heads-up that he'll be dropping by in about thirty minutes. Then, once his boots are on, he shrugs his jacket on too, and tugs his phone, wallet, Tara's gift, and cigarettes in his pockets.

As he turns away, his gaze lands on the bed one more time, thankful that tonight he and Tara share a bed again, and will be too busy with other things than sleep that could produce any more cruel nightmares.

He heads for the door to enjoy a quick cigarette or two first, when his cell phone buzzes in his pocket and makes him pause once more.

He quickly fishes it back out, smiling contently at the text message he just received from Tara's Cousin Linc. The weather might not be on their side, but everything else was falling into place to make this the wedding day Tara deserved from the get-go.

X

The sound of water trickling softly in the desktop fountain, mixed with the soft and soothing sound of waves and other beach noises playing on a track from somewhere overhead creates a peaceful ambiance. The room is dark, and the light lavender scent of the diffuser fills the air all around her. All in all, it's the perfect setting to unwind after the stressful couple of weeks Tara's had.

Firm, but warm, oil-coated hands slide down the length of Tara's back, pushing all the tension down and out through her torso. She lies on a crisp white sheet atop the firm massage table, with her head in the face cradle, and completely naked except for a second sheet draped across her behind.

She's never been one of those people who moan and groan throughout their massages, but today she is on the verge of doing so, because the relief of all that build-up tension feels truly heavenly.

But when the female masseuse begins working on her thighs, the fresh ache from last night's unexpected workout floods her mind with thoughts of her thighs firmly wrapped and clenched around Jax's waist, and it gives her a completely different reason to want to moan.

But the masseuse interrupts Tara's daydream when she asks her to turn over onto her back again, keeping the second and now a third folded sheet over her private parts for modesty.

Her expert hands move to Tara's shoulders, pushing the stress away as her strong thumbs circle her slick skin there, before traveling up her neck, and eventually up to her scalp.

But Tara's mind is drifting somewhere else completely. She remembers the sensation of Jax's lips against hers, and then his scratchy beard traveling down her neck when he kissed her there, and how good it felt.

For a second, embarrassment floods her and she opens her eyes to glance down her body, relieved that luckily the sheet across her chest is double thick and completely conceals her now hardened nipples.

Just as she tries to regain some decorum and relax again, the masseuse gently places her palms flat against her shoulders. "Rest until you're ready to come out, Ms. Teller," she says, her voice soft and calm, before the woman leaves her alone in the small, dark room.

Tara remains lying on her back, eyes still closed, taking deep calming breaths, in and out. Hands flat on the table beside her, she tries to just focus on the relaxation she's supposed to be feeling right now.

But when it isn't working, she lets out a frustrated sigh, followed up by a muttered curse, "Damn it, Jax." Apparently, her traitorous hormone-riddled body has no intentions of complying because her mind goes back to Jax and her arousal is all she can feel and think about at the moment.

No matter how much she tries to focus on the soothing sounds in the room, the memory of last night replays like a movie behind her closed eyelids.

She remembers Jax's ravenous kisses, and then his nips, and licks as he expertly teased her clit. Remembers slipping her hand inside her bra to tease her puckered nipples too. Remembers the way his fingers grazed over her skin and then pushed inside her, and instinctively, her hand slips to the wetness between her legs, to her now-tingling clit, and she begins to massage circles over the sensitive spot and growing even wetter with each stroke.

With her eyes still closed, she allows herself to get lost in the feeling. She remembers the way her heart pounded, just like it is beginning to pound now. Remembers how it felt when he pushed inside of her, his hot labored breath teasing her skin, making her shiver as he continued pounding into her. Over and over … again and again. Damn!

She's already so worked up, that this internal vivid replay of last night turns out to be enough to push her over the edge and her body first goes rigid before she then trembles with the orgasm she provoked out of herself all by herself.

Her back arches and her legs tremble, she bites her lip and slaps one hand over her mouth to keep from moaning out loud, until she goes limp and her body finally seems to find the relaxation she desperately needs.

But her moment of blissful peace is short-lived when all her senses return and a deep feeling of mortification of what she's done hits her full force.

At the faint sound of a door opening and closing in the distance somewhere, she suddenly sits up and shakes her head in utter disbelief as another wave of embarrassment hits her about her actions. This is crazy, Tara thinks to herself, but she rests one hand over the still slightly oil-slicked skin at her belly, and looking down, she whispers to her unborn child, "You're making mommy act like a horny crazy lady."

Jax will get a kick out of hearing about this, she thinks to herself as she slips off the table and hurries to put on her underwear and the white calf-length terrycloth robe the spa provided her with, suddenly eager and ready to get out of here and meet Christy and Rayna for their mani-pedi appointment.

X

Jax has just settled into the booth, with Thomas and Abel sitting beside him, when the little bell over the diner's door chimes to alert someone's arrival, followed by Diane and Lincoln Davis striding into the diner, and heading his way when they spot him and the boys.

As they approach, Jax gets up, a genuine smile spreading across his face at the knowledge that his plan is working out like he'd hoped it would, because he knows how much it'll mean to Tara to not just have Diane, but also Linc here to celebrate this day with her.

"I swear you get more handsome every time I see you." Diane pulls him into a hug, and Jax would be lying if he said he wasn't surprised by the warm embrace or her friendly words, considering how upset she'd been with him while Tara had been in a coma and bound to a hospital bed. Back then, the older woman damn near threatened to take him to court to gain control over Tara's medical care, after finding out that Tara and he got married and he was now legally Tara's next of kin.

"Looking pretty hot yourself, darlin'," he can't help but turn on the charm, knowing that in the past, it has always served him well with Tara's so-called aunt.

She smiles, but swats him playfully on the arm, "I'm taken, so save the sweet talk for your bride."

Jax chuckles, because Diane hasn't changed a bit, and then turns his attention to Linc now, holding out his hand to shake, "Glad you made it, man."

"Yeah, it sure wasn't easy," they shake hands and Linc nods his head, "but I'm here."

Jax quickly introduces the boys to their mom's family members, and to keep it simple he refers to Diane as Tara's aunt and to Linc as her cousin. Because after all, Tara has always regarded them as such herself, even though technically that wasn't true, Diane was Tara's father's cousin and Linc was Diane's son, which made him Tara's second cousin instead.

And as Diane and Linc try to explain that to the boys, with the patience of saints no less due to Abel's million questions about Tara's side of the family tree, Jax silently watches on, glad to see that the boys take an instant liking to two of the few remaining family members Tara has left and holds dear.

They order their drinks when the waitress brings their menus. Jax looks it over with the boys, reading the children's one out loud to let them choose their own lunch.

Diane marvels over and praises them for their good behavior, jokingly saying that clearly, they couldn't possibly be the offspring of the rebellious teenagers that gave Tara's father James so much trouble back in the day.

At last, they place their food order when the waitress comes by again. Then the boys busy themselves coloring in the pictures on their paper menus with the crayons the waitress graciously gave them, while Jax, Diane, and Linc talk about nothing and everything that's happened since the last time they saw each other.

As soon as their food arrives, they all dig in, but still continue to catch up on each other's lives, and there is quite a bit to catch up on since other than their phone calls and texts about the wedding, they haven't had a real conversation in well over a decade.

Linc hadn't exactly been a big fan of Jax's, at least not after the breakup when Tara left Charming without Jax and moved to San Diego to live with Diane while she attended college there. Things got a little better after Tara moved back home and they got back together again, and had Thomas.

But it certainly didn't score Jax any points with Tara's family when they found out about Tara's indictment because of Otto's actions, nor when it all came to light that it had been Jax's mom Gemma who had tried to kill her.

So they certainly had their doubts about him again too, but ever since Jax got the idea for Tara and him to renew their vows, he'd started to reach out to them both, to mend fences so to speak. Something he'd never cared about or bothered to do before, but he saw the error of his ways now that there weren't many blood relatives left in either of their lives.

It certainly worked in his favor that Diane always had a soft spot for him, so it didn't take much to win her over once he made his intentions clear.

But Linc was another story. It took Jax a bit longer to convince him to attend their wedding so that Tara would have someone from her family to walk her down the aisle.

Jax was determined to make that happen for her, and by doing so, Linc quickly realized that despite all the damage he might've unintentionally caused Tara, he truly did love her and was trying to make this day special, and make her happy.

So they ate and talked, and Jax filled them in on the plan and schedule for the day, excited for Tara that she had at least some family attending.

Checking the time, Jax figured they should still have plenty of time left to head back to the park with the kids for another hour to burn off some energy, before taking Abel and Thomas back to the hotel for an afternoon nap.

Meanwhile, Jax would do a quick check-in with the wedding planner to make sure everything was still on track, and by then it would already be time for everyone to get changed and head on over to the chapel for the nuptials.

After finishing their food and Jax paying the check, they all head for the door together. Without prompting, the boys instantly hold onto Diane's hands, already completely enamored with her, and Jax realizes that just like Mrs. Ellie, they see Diane as another substitute grandma now that Gemma is out of the picture for good. The knowledge feels strangely heartwarming and heartbreaking all at once.

But as they all file out of the front door of the diner to head toward their vehicles, unbeknownst to Jax, he has the eyes of a silent admirer on him, following his every step.

The leggy blonde waitress with the name tag that reads Susan pulls down the blinds to get a better look as she keeps on watching the group of them cross the small parking lot, surprised to see Jax head toward a pickup and not a Harley.

"Wasting your time, sweetheart," Betty, the older waitress who'd been serving Jax and them speaks up beside Susan when she follows the younger woman's longing gaze out the window, "Overheard them talking. Those are his kids, and he's marrying their mother today."

Susan blanches at that, repeating Betty's words back to her as if she must've heard her wrong, "Those are his kids? Are you sure?"

"Yeah, they are," Betty confirms with a nod. "They called him dad, and just look at those boys … they're the spitting image of him."

Susan frowns, shaking her head to herself, and when Betty walks away, she continues watching as Jax's truck pulls out onto the road, and murmurs under her breath, "That son of a bitch."

X

Jax looks around the reception hall to ensure everything is right on track.

He handled a lot of the logistical planning so Tara wouldn't need to worry about any of that, but he can admit he didn't participate in much of the actual decision-making about decorations. He pretty much just went along with whatever Tara had in mind. But looking around now, he's relieved to find that the money was well spent, because the event planner outdid herself in decorating the place just like Tara had wished for.

The wood pillars are draped with thick white fabric and fairy lights, tied back in an elaborate bow with silky black ribbon.

A sparkly chandelier hangs from a wood beam above the center of what will be the cake table.

It was obviously still much too early in the day to set the cake out yet, but he checked on it to make sure it turned out just like Tara wanted. Three tiers of cake, the very bottom and middle are marbled with vanilla and chocolate throughout, while the top, the one they'll keep until their next anniversary, is rum-flavored. All three tiers are coated in stark white buttercream icing, with a wedding cake topper of a blond groom and a brunette bride on a motorcycle. Simple, yet also still elegant, and the topper seems more than fitting.

The candle centerpieces on the white linen-covered tables are surrounded by flower arrangements of red and white roses, with white baby's breath mixed in, the colors and flowers matching Tara's and her bridesmaids' bouquets.

The entire ceiling is covered with fairy lights, draping from one wooden beam to the next, and once it's dark they'll be twinkling like stars above them, giving the place a much more intimate vibe than the bright daylight of the oversized windows currently provides. To say it'll look romantic and to Tara's liking would be an understatement.

And right behind the rectangular head table, where Tara, he, and their wedding party will be seated, sits a wood-beamed arch. It's draped in more white glittery tulle, more white sparkling fairy lights, and dripping in white baby's breath, making the perfect serene backdrop Tara envisioned.

"Tara's gonna love it. It's … beautiful," Diane gushes over the decorations, mirroring Jax's thoughts, but surprising him with her presence when her voice and words draw his attention to her.

After lunch and playing at the park, Jax dropped the boys off with Mrs. Ellie for their afternoon nap, while Diane and Linc checked into their reserved rooms, and until she spoke up just now he hadn't realized that she and Linc were here to check on things as well.

Diane takes him further by surprise when she unceremoniously hands him a small wicker basket with a card and a large bundle of what looks like some kind of dried flowers inside. The flowers are carefully tied together with a white satin string, and all of it is encased in shiny cellophane with a pretty white bowtie at the top. But before Jax can ask or say anything, she quickly adds. "It's your present. I was looking for the gift table, but I'm not sure it's been set up yet."

"Um, … Thanks," He answers sounding a bit skeptical, and glances down at the gift in his hands once more, not sure if he should bother to ask what it is exactly, or if he should let Tara figure it out later.

But his confused and curious look must be giving him away because she begins to explain a moment later. "It's yarrow, you hang it above your bed or … well, anywhere around your bedroom will do, and it'll guarantee you seven years of passion."

Jax can't help the mischievous smile that appears, giving the dried flowers another skeptical glance before he looks back up and replies with a smirk. "Only seven?"

"Don't be greedy." Diane teases, as they share another smile before she asks. "Now where is that chapel Tara's been raving about?"

With a little help from the staff that's still busy setting up and putting last-minute touches on everything, Jax finds the gift table and leaves Diane's gift there.

He then leads Tara's family out the side entrance of the hotel and down the paved path through the neighboring park to the beautiful chapel, aptly named Capella by the Sea, where they will be renewing their vows in just a couple of hours.

Diane and Linc appear speechless, taking it all in for a moment in stunt silence. Unlike the reception hall, the chapel was completely void of decorations, but that only highlights its natural charm.

The awe-inspiring angular A-framed building was apparently a very sought-after wedding venue. Built on a clearing in Azalea Park, the unique non-denominational chapel is the perfect, intimate setting Tara and he could've only hoped for, not only for their vow renewals, but for what Jax likes to think of as their fresh start.

Nestled in serene, wooded surroundings, it was mostly constructed with native Redwood and stone, with windows along the sides and floor-to-ceiling windows at the end of the aisle. The result is the rustic, yet quietly elegant "Capella", filled with natural sunlight diffused throughout, giving it a fairytale vibe with its unique, yet simplistic features and scenic view overlooking the park and even the Pacific Ocean in the distance.

"It's breathtaking," Diane marvels out loud, but then a moment later her attention is already focused on the bundle of dried herbs she pulled out of her purse, which she quickly lights up as she walks off.

For a moment, Jax follows her with his eyes, watching her as she waves the now-smoking herbs down the aisle before he glances questioningly back at Linc. "What's with the smoke?"

"Don't ask," Linc mumbles under his breath with exasperation in his voice, but the questioning look in Jax's eyes has him explaining a few seconds later after all. "It's sage. She's performing a purifying ritual. She said it's gonna cleanse all the negative energy out of here. Something about that canceled wedding."

As they both watch Diane wave the smoking bundle of sage around every nook and cranny of the chapel, neither Jax nor Linc can help the chuckle that escapes them.

But then Jax thinks back on the nightmare he'd woken up from this morning, and the smile begins to fade from his face with a sobering thought when he adds. "Honestly, we can use all the help we can get."

"You say that now," Linc replies, with humor in his voice as he teasingly adds, "Just don't take it personally if she tries to smoke you out with that thing too."

He's smiling at the image Linc just painted, but nonetheless adds dryly, "That probably wouldn't be a bad idea either."

Linc just laughs, shaking his head as he slaps Jax on the shoulder in an encouraging manner, not even realizing that Jax wasn't joking.

X

After all the rushed planning over the last couple of weeks, a part of Tara still can't believe she'll actually get to have a real wedding in just a little while.

Truth be told, a little over a month ago she thought it would be more likely she'd be traveling to the moon one day before she'd get to walk down the aisle of a chapel toward Jackson Teller. But here she is.

Rayna, Christy, and her are still in the designated bridal suite at the Beachside-Resort. As she looks around the room of this beautiful wedding venue, she still can't believe their luck, that there had been an opening for them, on the day of their second anniversary no less, to renew their vows.

She's freshly showered, dressed in nothing but her honeymoon lingerie, and a soft white robe the girls got for her that reads Bride across the back.

Sitting at the painted white wood vanity, staring back at her reflection once more before Rayna and Christy begin to get her ready for her big day.

Rayna starts with her makeup, telling her what she's doing as she's doing it. Meanwhile, Christy has been working on her hair, fiddling with the curling iron and an ungodly amount of hairspray and bobby pins. The smell of it takes her back to the nineties.

Sitting here with her eyes closed for what feels like forever, she can't help but think of Jax. A reel of memories from the start of their romance as teenagers until now playing through her mind as her hands are in her lap, her fingers alternatingly fidgeting around with the diamond ring on her left hand and Jax's gift, the other ring that he's given her so long ago on her right.

"There. All done." Christy announces eventually, bringing her back out of her thoughts.

Tara opens her eyes and stares in the mirror, and is stunned into silence for a moment by the flawless-looking reflection that greets her.

And although Rayna and Christy have undoubtedly worked their magic, she's glad that her friends followed her wishes and she still recognizes the woman staring back at her. She still looks like herself, just … better!

Her makeup, still more on the lighter side and just how she prefers to wear it, has been done to model perfection. The few tiny blemishes she wanted to hide are concealed, and her skin shines with a natural glow.

Her hazel-green eyes are accented by very little, but tasteful sparkly dark eyeshadow, and black mascara that highlights her natural long lashes.

Her bangs perfectly frame her forehead, with her longer strands at the side pinned back from her face, but otherwise, her long dark-brown tresses flow down her back and around her shoulders in loose shiny waves and curls, just like she wanted it. In the past, she'd always imagined she'd wear her hair in an elaborate-looking updo on her wedding day, but the scars barely hidden in her hairline at the nape of her neck changed her mind, so she left her hair open.

Overall, the look is understated. Classic. Yet sexy too. And she nods her head at Rayna's and Christy's reflections, shooting them a satisfied look. "It's perfect."

Not wanting to wait until the last minute, Tara slips out of her robe so that the girls can already help her into the wedding dress, revealing the sexy bridal lingerie she bought just for the occasion.

"Damn, Tara, you make knocked-up look fucking hot." Christy blurts out, not even trying to censor her words.

Tara blushes slightly under her friends' admiring eyes as she looks down on the lacy white strapless bustier and cheeky panties, matched with the sheer thigh-high stockings she is wearing.

"She's not lying. You look banging, girl. Which reminds me," Rayna adds, but then walks over to her purse, digs a small box out, and hands it to Tara.

"What's that?" Tara asks, looking from the thin rectangular box in her hand back to her friend.

"Well, open it," Rayna answers, and watches on with genuine delight as Tara carefully pulls the lid off of the simple white box. Inside she finds two frilly and lacy baby blue garters, and before she can say anything, Rayna blurts out, "Your something new and blue." But then gestures to Jax's ring she's wearing, and adds, "Well, consider it your backup something blue, in case the ring turns a different shade."

"Thank you, Rayna," Tara replies, her eyes soft with genuine emotions of gratitude.

"Well, put them on." Rayna urges, taking the box from her and tossing it onto the bed, before she gestures to Tara's high heels too. "And the heels too."

Tara takes a seat, quickly pulls a blue garter up each leg, and slips her feet into her heels before she stands once more, looking expectantly at her friends.

"Jax is gonna love it," Christy comments.

"Yeah, and he's gonna love taking it all off too," Rayna adds with a mischievous wink, then grabs Tara's phone from the vanity table, "Which reminds me, we need pictures."

"What for?" Tara chuckles when she realizes Rayna's serious and has already opened the camera app on her phone.

"What for?" Rayna repeats her question with a heavy dose of sarcasm in her voice all while giving her a Really-look, before she says, "For posterity. That's what for. You'll have countless pictures in your wedding dress, but once Jax gets you to himself tonight, you'll be out of this in no time."

"She's right." Christy agrees, and adds teasingly, "And who knows if that delicate lace will even survive the night when Jax gets his hands on it, if you know what I mean?"

Tara's hand drifts down to her tiny pooch, "You really think that'll look good in the pictures?"

"Between the right camera angle and you holding your breath a bit here and there, we can make these pictures look fucking hot … trust me, babe," Rayna reassures her.

Christy glances at her phone, checking the time, "And we still have a bit of time to kill anyways. I say do it."

Looking from Christy back to Rayna, Tara finally nods her head. "Yeah, okay," she relents at last.

And emboldened allows her friends to stage her in seductive poses around the bridal suite for an impromptu boudoir photo session, which they swear Jax will appreciate having to look back on after tonight.

X

I can't believe this is really happening, Tara thinks for what feels like the millionth time today, as her friends carefully lace up the corset of her wedding dress.

The gorgeous garment once belonged to her mother. She found it packed away in a box at her father's house after he'd passed away. It's been one of the few things she couldn't bring herself to part with when she sold her childhood home and moved in with Jax.

Back then it hadn't even crossed her mind that she'd ever get to use it herself, and after their impromptu brothel wedding she'd completely dismissed the idea, but as soon as Jax proposed for them to renew their vows, she couldn't help but think of her mother's dress.

So she had quickly taken it in for a professional cleaning, hoping and wishing and quite literally praying that the smell and yellowing from years of her father's cigarette and cigar smoke, along with the smell of mothballs that had been packed away with the dress, would come out. And thankfully it had.

Bright white and clean smelling again, she had tried it on, and to her and Christy's surprise, it didn't even need to be altered. With the right height heel to accommodate its length, it fit Tara perfectly the first time she'd tried it on. Although part of that was credited to the fact that the corset-style bodice could be adjusted, and therefore had undoubtedly worked in her favor.

And even though it was just a dress, and as ridiculous as it might sound if she dared to say it out loud, some small part of her saw her fitting into the dress on her first try as a favorable omen. Like a sign from up above, maybe even a sign from her mom, that Jax and she are finally on the right track. That this renewal of their vows would be the fresh start they so desperately craved and wished for and needed.

Growing up she's never been one of those girls that spend much time dreaming about what their wedding day would be like. Sure, when she was a teenager she'd started to think about it. But it had always been all kinds of hazy, except for two things she'd wished for that were crystal clear. She'd marry Jackson Teller, and her dad would be walking her down the aisle.

Despite their previous breakup, the first dream only died the day she found out that Jax had married someone else, and the second died the day her dad passed away. She thought then it was never going to happen for her, and although the first was happening today after all, it was still hard to let go of that second wish.

Strangely enough, last night she'd dreamed about a wedding similar to the one they planned. There were endless arrangements of sweet-smelling roses, family and friends that were long gone were in attendance, and she was wearing this same beautiful dress, twirling around in it as if she were a princess. Music played, birds sang, and her mom blinked away tears of joy when she saw her in her dress and veil. She dreamed about her dad smiling at her as he walked her down the aisle. And at the end of the aisle was Jax, looking handsome and so in love with her as she walked toward him. Opie stood beside him as his best man and Donna was her maid of honor. And they all lived happily ever after.

That was the dream. And then she woke up from Jax's phone call, still so happy, but despite all the bliss she'd been feeling, as the day carried on she felt bouts of unmistakable melancholy for everyone they had lost too soon and therefore couldn't be here with them today.

"There," Rayna says, and brings her out of her thoughts when she adds, "It's not too tight, is it? Can you still breathe?"

Tara nods, but takes a deep breath for show, her hand running down the front of her corset when she adds, "It feels fine."

But just before Tara has a chance to turn and look herself over in the mirror, there's a knock at the door interrupting the moment, and after confirming it's not the groom, Rayna opens the door to Tara's Aunt Diane, who called earlier to let her know she's arrived.

"Hi, sweetie, it's been too long," Diane says, giving Tara a long hug in greeting, before she pulls back to look her over, "Just wanted to check in but … wow, look at you."

Tara turns around toward the full-length mirror to get her first real look of herself today in her mother's dress, and is stunned into silence once more.

Today is one of the happiest days of Tara's life, but her reflection stares back with so many emotions she hadn't anticipated being assaulted with right now. She vividly remembers looking through her parent's wedding album, admiring her mother in this beautiful dress, and suddenly the loss of having neither her mom nor dad here hurts a lot more than she'd ever dare to admit.

Her Aunt Diane comes up to stand right behind her in the mirror, watching her, and to Tara's surprise, she notices that her unorthodox, outspoken, kick-ass aunt has tears in her eyes, giving her a sad smile. And at that moment she knows they're thinking the same thing; they're both wishing Tara's parents could be here today too.

"Your mom would love that you're wearing her wedding dress," Diane says, confirming Tara's thoughts as both women smile at one another again in agreement.

And for a moment Tara imagines her mom standing behind her much like Diane, rearranging her hair, and adjusting a veil on her head. But it wasn't to be. Sadly no amount of mourning and wishful thinking could change the past.

Rayna and Christy had held back, allowing her to take it all in quietly for a long moment, but neither could hold their tongue any longer.

"Oh my God, Tara. You look so amazing." Christy is the first to speak.

"You look gorgeous!" Rayna agrees.

Then they both step closer to give her a hug, tears welling up in her eyes. "Thanks, Christy. Thanks, Ray."

"Don't cry," Rayna admonishes her, "You'll ruin your makeup."

Tara fans her face with her hand, hoping the waterproof and smudge-proof mascara she's using today will hold up like it's supposed to. "I won't. I'm okay. And thank you."

That's when Diane chimes in, looking over Tara's friends, "You both look pretty amazing too, Ladies."

"I agree," Tara adds.

She didn't want to be one of those brides who put their friends in some hideous dress they'd probably never wear again. Her only wish had been for the dress to be black and not too revealing, the rest she'd left up to them to decide. So with Rayna being her only bridesmaid, and Christy her maid of honor, she was glad to see they found the time to coordinate their looks and went with the same well-fitting sleeveless floor-length black dress. It was sexy in the way it showed off their curves, yet also modest in the sense that it didn't show any legs.

"Thanks," The girls reply in unison, then take a look at themselves in the mirror after the compliments they just received, and get sidetracked with touching up their make-up and hair for a few moments.

"Jax showed me the reception hall and the chapel. Everything looks so beautiful." Diane says, but before Tara can even comment, she interrupts with a sudden change of subject when she asks, "So the first time you just went to a courthouse?"

Jax had told her how shocked Diane had been when Tara had fallen into a coma and Diane had found out that way about their marriage.

So Tara knows that her aunt's still wondering why she hadn't known about her previous wedding, and she quickly tries to explain without having to admit it had taken place in a brothel of all places. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about that. Life just got busy and you know how that goes. But … anyway, it wasn't a big ceremony or anything. It wasn't even in a courthouse. It was just in front of a judge. It wasn't really planned. Very spur-of-the-moment and kinda rushed. I was in jeans and a tank top, and our boys weren't even there. The judge just rattled down some vows … all I really remember is we said yes and I do and then it was already over. And we thought we'd have a reception sometime later, but then Jax lost Opie, his best friend, and it felt wrong to even think of throwing a party in the wake of his death, you know."

Diane raises her hand over her heart. "Oh, I'm so sorry about Opie, that must've been terrible for Jax … and you too," she pauses for a moment, looking Tara over once more and fiddling with a strand of the younger woman's hair, "but I'm glad you two decided to finally have a real wedding, and that I'm here to see it."

"Me too," she agrees easily because it's the truth. The planning had been stressful, but now that the day is here she knows it was all worth it, and she's glad that at least Diane will be here to witness it too.

"Are you using traditional vows, or did you write your own vows this time?" The older woman asks next.

"Um, we wrote our own, kind of," Tara says, realizing at the last second that the way she worded the answer would only intrigue her aunt more.

"Kind of?" Diane gives her a quizzical look just like she'd expected she would.

"We decided together what we wanted to promise each other, and then Jax turned it into vows," Tara explains the best she can without giving too much away, wanting to keep their vows sacred and secret until she'd actually say them to Jax in a little while.

But then her mind instantly goes back to the early evening when they'd just finished dinner and decided to write their own vows, since neither of them loved any of the countless examples they'd found online. They wanted something unique. Something of their own that nobody used a million times before!

"What do we wanna promise each other?" Jax asks, the tip of his pen already hovering over the notepad before him.

"That we'll be honest and faithful." She starts, then listens to him repeat her suggestion in a mumble and watches him as he's writing it down, and then asks him for his input, "What else?"

"No running. Ever. Nobody walks out. We're in this together no matter what happens." He states firmly, leaving no room for argument.

Deep down she couldn't blame him. "No running." She agrees and waits for him to add it to their list before she adds next, "And we will respect and trust and help each other."

"Respect. Trust. Help each other." Jax repeats while he jots that down as well.

"We will take care of each other," Tara adds quickly.

"And this is forever," Jax adds, looking up from the notepad and meeting her eyes when he says it.

"This is forever." Tara easily agrees, then watches as his gaze drops back down to add it to the list.

She chuckles as she glances down at the paper and meets his eyes when she says. "Now do your magic, Teller."

And he did do his magic. Jax just has a way with words and Tara honestly loves the vows her husband has come up with.

And just like that, her mood improves again when she puts her focus on the things that make her happy, like the vows she's memorized by heart and couldn't wait to exchange with Jax real soon.

X

Just like discussed, Diane made sure the door was left ajar and it allowed her son Lincoln to quietly slip into the room. Rayna and Christy don't seem to have noticed him yet as they're putting some last finishing touches on their makeup and are busy fussing with each other's elaborate hairstyles.

His mother is in the middle of a conversation with the bride, when his eyes land on Tara, and all he can think is that she looks like a real-life princess. Devastatingly beautiful.

She is surrounded by her girlfriends who are still trying to primp and prod her while she keeps shaking her head no and mutters "Really, it's perfect" as she gazes dreamily into the full-length mirror.

God, she looks so different now, but in a good way. She looks so happy, and he couldn't be happier for her.

But she hardly looks anything like the girl he remembers, mostly because in his mind's eye she's forever the teenage girl that hugged him goodbye in the San Diego airport before he shipped off to his first military assignment well over a decade ago.

It's not like he's been completely out of touch with her since he joined the Army. They've shared updates and pictures via email, and he's seen her more than a handful of times over the years, but with his assignments that often took him overseas, and her busy schedule, they hadn't seen each other as much as he would've liked.

But that doesn't change how he remembers her when he thinks of her. Fresh-faced, and so young, with a bit of a wild streak that would from then on be his mother's problem, and way too fucking smart for her own good.

A tinge of regret fills him when he realizes that it's been much too long since the last time he saw her, when he'd managed to get a four-day pass out of Fort Irvine to attend her father's funeral in Charming.

But when he'd heard that she'd slipped into a coma, leaving her bound to a hospital bed, he'd been stationed in South Korea and because of military obligations, he couldn't come back stateside to accompany his mom when she came to visit her back then.

Tara glides her hands lightly down the bodice of her gown, in the middle of saying something she abruptly stops when she's startled after suddenly noticing him in the reflection of the mirror.

"You look amazing, Tar." Linc's already inching closer now, taking her in from head to toe, and his words now draw the attention of everyone else in the room too.

"Linc?" She whips around in stunned disbelief, gathers up the copious amounts of fabric, steps off the one-foot dais in front of the mirror, and then she's already in his arms, hugging him tightly, but mumbles against his chest. "You're the only one that's still allowed to call me that."

They embrace like this for a long moment, until Tara reluctantly pulls back to look at him. She is used to his usual T-shirt and jeans, Army fatigues, or even the fancy Army suit he wore to her dad's funeral, but she can't recall ever seeing him dressed up in a regular suit and tie like this before. His attire takes a backseat to other questions though. "Oh my God, how -" she's still completely in disbelief that he is here with her, "how are you even here? I thought you couldn't make it?"

"Well, let's just say Jax can be a persistent motherfucker when he's got his mind set on something. He insisted you need family here to walk you down the aisle," he explains, shrugging his shoulders. "So, yeah, after jumping through a million hoops and royally pissing off my Commander, I took a last-minute flight into Crescent City this morning."

"Jax did this?" She asks in shock as if she couldn't believe it, then whips around, looking first to Diane, and then to her friend Christy, who'd been helping Jax and her with a lot of the preparations for today, "Did you guys know about this?"

"Of course I did," Diane replies with a smile and a nod, which isn't too surprising considering she's Lincoln's mother.

"Been sworn to secrecy." Christy says, and smirks like the Cat that ate the canary when she adds, "But I might've known something."

Diane checks the time on her phone before she suddenly turns to Tara, pulling her into another hug now too, and says, "You look breathtaking. Jax is a lucky man. I'm gonna go check up on him now, and then I'll see you at the chapel. Love you, sweetheart." She then waves at the rest of them and kisses her son on the cheek before exiting the room.

Rayna's already hugging Linc in greeting when Tara's focus is back on them, and then she's properly introducing him to Christy as well.

A moment later, Rayna drops onto the edge of the bed, "Before we do anything else, we need a drink."

"Sounds like a great idea," Linc agrees, tugging on the collar of his tie as if it's already strangling him, his eyes on Rayna the whole time.

Tara laughs, with both Linc and Rayna here talking about drinking, she's getting bombarded by a strange moment of Deja Vu that takes her back in time. "It's over there." She nods to the mini-fridge hidden beneath the counter. "Help yourself, since I can't."

"Why can't you?" Linc asks dumbfounded, eyeing her curiously, but when Tara simply bites her lip and gives him a sheepish look, he quickly catches on to what she means but asks just to be sure. "Really?"

"Yeah," she nods smiling, then quickly adds, "But we haven't told everyone yet."

"Yeah, there's only a handful of us that know, so shhh," Christy says and raises her finger to her lips to emphasize her point.

Christy grabs two bottles of water, one for herself and one for Tara, and Rayna hands a small bottle of liquor to Linc, before everyone unscrews the cap on their drink.

They raise their drinks between them, making a show of it as if they are holding fancy champagne flutes instead of overpriced bottles from the minibar, when Rayna exclaims. "Here's to true love and a headboard-banging wedding night."

They clink their drinks together before taking a healthy swig, with Linc mumbling under his breath that he wishes he hadn't heard that, and the girls erupt in smiles and genuine laughter at his discomfort over Tara's sex life.

X

It shouldn't feel this fucking monumental, Jax thinks to himself, but it does. He and Tara are already married. They already have the boys, and another little one on the way. They share finances, are buying a house together, and have been planning their lives and futures with each other in mind. They've been through hell and back, and have never been more committed to each other than they are now.

So renewing their vows in front of their friends and family today was just supposed to be a celebration they never got to have the first time around. Only it's not. It feels much bigger than that. In less than an hour, it's a fresh start, a new beginning, when they'll repeat their vows again, and this time he'll uphold them too.

Those are Jax's thoughts as he stands like a statue in front of the mirror, the black tie still draped loosely around his neck, but otherwise hasn't made a move to actually tie it, prompting both Jason and Greg to give him a questioning look.

"You need a hand with that?"

Jason's voice and question startle him out of his thoughts as his eyes meet with the two men beside him for a moment, and Jax sucks a sharp breath in through his teeth.

The last and only time he's ever worn a goddamn tie, for Tara no less, he remembers Gemma had tied it for him, and so he finally meets Jason's gaze as he pulls the tie off of his neck again and admits in frustration, "Never tied one of these before."

"No problem, bro," Jason says instead of the witty remark he bites back at the expression that he saw cross Jax's face. He takes the strap of fabric and steps in front of Jax, getting to work, and in no time at all, the tie is tied in a perfect Windsor knot.

Jax wastes no more time, grabs his suit jacket from the back of the chair, and throws it on. He tugs his arms forward, the material resting across his shoulders for the perfect fit, before he looks himself over in the mirror while he adjusts his collar until everything looks alright.

"Lookin' pretty sharp, man," Greg, dressed in a black suit as well, compliments him all while squeezing the back of Jax's neck in some kind of brotherly gesture, before he adds, "Let's get these pictures over with, so we can get this show on the road."

"Yeah," Jax nods, securing all of his things in his pockets, but when his eyes fall to his hand, he suddenly realizes he's still wearing his ring and blurts out, "Shit, I almost forgot!"

Greg and Jason watch on as he pulls the band off of his finger with little resistance, secures it next to Tara's, quickly staches the small box in one of the inside pockets of his jacket, and then meets their eyes with a firm nod. "Let's go." But instantly his hand feels strange and empty, like something is missing, and Tara putting that ring right back on his finger can't happen soon enough.

X

It's almost time to go, and Tara finds herself in front of the mirror just one more time, giving herself one last once over.

Her eyes focus on the diamond studs in her ears that her mom had worn when she married her dad. Since she hadn't known of, or even expected the gift from Jax, the earrings were intended to be her something old.

Rayna had gifted her the pretty blue garters to wear with her sexy thigh-high stockings, and even though she couldn't feel them through the fabric of her dress, she instinctively smoothes her fingertips over her thighs where they sat below. Her something new and something blue.

Christy, having known about her plans to wear her mom's diamond studs, offered the necklace with the simple but elegant round diamond solitaire pendant, that matched her earrings like they'd been a set all along. It's her something borrowed.

Last but not least, tears threaten to blur Tara's vision again as she thinks of Jax's other surprise and looks down at her right hand, staring at the ring, the glass stone shining in a pretty dark blue. It's the gift he left with Christy to give to her this morning so she'd have it before she got ready for today.

'For the only woman I have ever loved', read the front of the note from him that came with the gift, and when she flipped it over it said rather cryptically, 'Your something old … and hopefully blue, too!'

The small velvet box itself hinted at a piece of expensive jewelry, so when Tara first opened it, Christy's, and Rayna's brows furrowed with the same confused expression at the sight of the cheap trinket that she found inside instead.

But Tara immediately recognized it as the same mood ring he'd given her well over a decade ago, and had smiled and laughed at first in shocked surprise, only to then burst into tears a few seconds later at the realization that Jax must've held onto it since back then. Back when they were just teenagers in love, on the path to inadvertently breaking each other's heart.

Of course, right after she had hidden herself away in the bathroom for some privacy and called him, sobbing uncontrollably for a long couple of minutes after he confirmed that it was in fact the ring he'd given her when they were young. He kept apologizing because he hadn't meant to hurt her and upset her by bringing back something from the past, but she wasted no time to quickly reassure him that they were happy tears, and that she loved his gift more than he could ever imagine.

She closes her eyes for a moment, willing the tears away as emotions threaten to overwhelm her again, because Christy and Rayna won't be amused if she ruins her makeup before she even sets foot outside this room.

Taking a deep breath, her mind's still on the man she can't wait to spend the rest of her life with. The man who caught her by complete surprise when he proposed this crazy idea to renew their vows in such a short amount of time, and then went out of his way to actually make it happen. She didn't think she could love him any more than she already does, but the truth is that with every passing day of their new life together, she is falling more and more in love with him. She fans her face, willing the tears away. Hormones, … damn these hormones!

"The photographer is here," Rayna says, and with it brings Tara out of her heightened emotions, as her friend leads the female photographer into the room.

Jax and Tara hired not one but two photographers for the occasion to take photos and videos throughout the day, making up for the pitiful existence of just one single photograph of them as a newlywed couple taken back at the Clubhouse right before Jax had to turn himself in. Sadly, the first time around nobody, including Gemma, had bothered to snap a couple of shots or maybe even film their vows, but Jax made sure that wouldn't be the case today.

At last, meeting in person after they've only talked to one another on the phone, through text, and by email over the last four weeks, Tara and Shannon happily greet each other. And Shannon informs her that her c0-photographer, her friend Sandra is already with the groom and groomsmen, and they're on their way to the chapel.

Tara turns her gaze back to her reflection in the mirror once more when she adds, "I'm pretty much ready too."

Makeup, hair, shoes, jewelry, and her mother's amazing gown, with what feels like an industrial-strength corset. It's perhaps a bit impractical to get into and out of, but it looks and works great for smoothing down her barely there baby bump.

Everything is perfect. There isn't a hair out of place, and all that's left to do is make a decision about the veil, so they can take a few pre-ceremony photos with just the girls, Linc and her.

"It's almost go-time now, so what's the verdict? Veil or no veil?" Christy asks out loud as if she could read Tara's mind, and then is already holding the veil in question up over Tara's hair in the position it would sit as they scrutinize the look in the mirror together.

"Is it tacky? I mean, since we're already married?" Tara smoothes a hand over the lace, admiring the soft, intricate material. But it's not just that. Deep down she wonders if it'll be too much, too fancy looking as she imagines Jax in a pair of jeans and a button-down. She honestly doesn't regret not pushing him to wear a suit today, because the last thing she wants to do is make him feel uncomfortable in his own skin on a day like today. But at the same time, she doesn't want their wedding pictures to look like they don't belong together, with her all dolled up and him dressed way too casually.

"What do you guys think?" Tara asks, and she can't explain why her nerves ramp up a little as she waits for their answer. It's been happening on and off all day today, nerves and emotions hitting her out of nowhere and for no real reason at all.

"I don't think it's tacky. I'd wear it," Christy says.

"I would too," Rayna adds, although she's biting her tongue about the fact that her friend is pregnant and wearing white no less. Instead, she adds, "Definitely wear it for the ceremony and some pictures. And then you could lose it for the reception, and be more comfortable … I mean, if it bugs you."

Thinking it over for a long moment, Tara finally nods in agreement, "Yeah, alright."

She takes a seat and watches in the mirror as Christy pushes the comb of the veil into her hair, and Rayna helps to expertly secure it with a few more bobby pins.

The photographer snaps away, raising her camera to even capture this moment of the veil being placed by her friends.

Tara stands again, and her maid of honor Christy steps back to look her over top to bottom, her eyes soft with tears when she exchanges a glance with Rayna too, which seems to say; -she's perfect!

Both Christy and Rayna smooth down the skirts of their black bridesmaid's dresses, and step beside her, turning toward the photographer, so she can get a nice shot, before the girls wave their hands at Linc who's been standing back, to join them.

So he does, and Shannon quickly takes a few more group shots, before she gets some of Tara alone.

Christy glances down at her phone which has just chimed with a text from Jason, before she looks up and meets Tara's eyes. "That was Jason. Everyone's at the chapel," her voice is infused with excitement. "Are you ready?"

Releasing her breath, Tara nods. "Absolutely."

"Then let's get married," Rayna claps her hands together, and has everyone smiling as they carefully gather the bouquets of flowers from the ice cooler the resort provided for that reason.

Linc holds the door open, allowing the group of women to step out ahead of him. The photographer Shannon leads the way, walking backward while taking a few candid shots as Tara, and the rest follow.

They all take the elevator down to the main floor, to slip through the reception hall to take the side entrance that leads straight to the adjoining park. From there, the chapel, located within Azalea Park, is just a short leisurely five-minute walk down a paved path.

But when they walk through the stunning hall that's already decorated for the reception, Tara's heart gives a hard squeeze at the beautiful sight. Everything looks magnificent, but this quick glimpse is all she gets to enjoy for now because it's time to go.

"Ready, Cuz?" Linc asks as they're approaching the double doors that lead outside.

"Yeah," Tara nods and gives him a big smile before she hooks her arm around his biceps on their way out to the park.

The afternoon sun is out and high in the sky, but the air feels a little crisp despite it. A cool breeze drifts across the bare skin of Tara's shoulders, making her shiver, and instant goosebumps race down her arms, as the group of them makes their way toward the chapel.

Her gaze rises to the treetops, swaying in the early March winds overhead, letting sunshine and blue sky peeking through. Although not warm, the sunlight at least looks luminous and inviting, unlike the clouds she can see a little ways off in the distance, cloaking parts of the ocean and land beneath them in shadows, and with it foreshadowing possible rain showers later on.

Tara had been so worried about that just yesterday, but to her own surprise, she's so happy, so elated right now on her way to marry Jax again, not even an approaching hurricane could sour her mood at the moment. So who the hell cares about a bit of rain?

X

Meanwhile inside the Chapel …

The sun is out, streaming into the countless windows of the chapel and warming the place, and Jax can't help but think that it's a great day to get married. There are a few scattered clouds off in the distance, but for now, the sky is blue and the sun is shining bright, with a cool ocean breeze blowing through the surrounding trees.

After exchanging a few words with Thomas and Abel in the front pew, and explaining to them again what to expect and what they're supposed to do, he once more makes his way back to his spot by the officiant Hal Mitchell, who's wordlessly patting Jax's shoulder as he stops beside him.

Hal Mitchell is a friend of a friend. To be exact, he's been a longtime friend of Greg and Claire's, and over the last month he's become a friend to Jax and Tara as well, but even more so, not only is he a reformed gang member himself, but he's also a legit wedding officiant.

It's a fact that quite literally anyone could've performed the ceremony for them today … hell, even little Abel could've done it since it's merely a formality because they've already been legally married for the past two years. But Jax insisted he wanted someone official.

Someone who could actually marry them if they weren't hitched already, preferably non-denominational, also professional yet personable and easygoing enough that they could be themselves around. And let's just say, Hal Mitchell checked all of those boxes and then some, and he was more than happy to do it.

Greg, who's one of his groomsmen, stands to his left, winking at his wife sitting in one of the pews, before he glances at Jax, "You ready for this?"

Jax straightens his black tie yet again, not used to the way it fits around his neck, but then nods. "Yeah, I am," he answers with complete confidence because it's the truth. "I've been ready," he adds, and true to his words, his body seems to practically vibrate with anxiety to get this thing started already, his eyes repeatedly roaming back to the doors with what he could only describe as a pathetic longing for her.

He really has no logical reason to feel this way, but turns out love isn't always logical and can make you feel any way it damn well pleases. And now that the busyness of the time he's spent with the boys has subsided, that fucked up nightmare last night has come back to the forefront of his mind and is stirring a protective need inside him.

He needs to see her. Needs to touch her, and hold her. Needs to keep her close. Admittedly, his feelings at the moment are bordering on obsession.

Trying to distract himself from his internal emotional shit-storm, he looks out at the glowing faces of their closest friends and family, and he's happy with their decision to keep the ceremony mostly small and intimate. In addition to their close-knit circle from the past and future, they'd both invited some of their superiors, coworkers, and their partners, but not all of them were able to make it, which honestly worked out just fine.

No disrespect to Ope or Lyla, but the last thing Jax wanted for Tara was something like their friend's wedding, where literal enemies had been on the guest list, just to further the Club's agenda that day. Instead, he wanted this shindig to be something sacred. A moment they can claim as their own. And it's turning out just like he'd hoped and envisioned it would.

"They should be here any second now," Jason says as he takes his spot as Jax's best man between him and Greg, squeezing his shoulder, and Jax takes a quick look around making sure everyone that's got a job to do is in their proper place.

As if on cue, the musician they hired slips back inside, meeting Jax's eyes, and nods, before taking his seat behind the keyboard out of sight in the corner, and a moment later Jax recognizes the beginning notes to Calum Scott's You are the reason. It's the instrumental song Tara chose for the occasion, and unlike the traditional wedding march that would stop once the bride reaches the altar, -or in this case, the end of the aisle, Tara's wish was for the song to keep playing, at a much lower volume of course, but throughout the whole ceremony.

As the beginning beats of the song drift through the small chapel, Jax turns his attention to the entrance once more, giving Chibs and Happy the signaling nod. His former club brothers quickly pull the doors open, followed by a shuffle of people when everyone in the pews stands and turns toward the opening doors, and Jax sighs in relief that the moment he's reunited with Tara is finally here.

X

It's a very short walk to the chapel, and while Tara once again tries to wrap her head around what's about to happen, the moment is already here as the steep roof of the building comes into her line of view high above the trees and green shrubbery of their surroundings.

Unlike the reception hall, which is decorated like a Hallmark aficionado's romantic wet dream, the chapel she and Jax had the good fortune to secure for today hasn't gotten nor required any decorations, because it and its surroundings are simply beautiful in themselves, and neither Jax nor she wanted to take away from its natural charm.

Tara can't help but think that it seems appropriate to renew their vows in this unique, but strangely masculine structure built of locally sourced redwood and stone. Especially in contrast to where they got married the first time around.

Clinging to her cousin's arm, she lets her eyes fall shut for a brief moment and takes a deep breath, to enjoy the smell of the flowers and greenery that fill her senses, to center and to remind herself just how lucky she is, and that the day she's planned with Jax is truly here.

Her hips sway back and forth as she walks, and she focuses on the rustling of her skirt as it swishes around her, and the way her heels thud on the pavement with each step she takes closer to Jax.

As they approach further, she now notices a man she recognizes as one of the musicians extinguishes his cigarette, quickly puts his phone away, and hurries back inside, disappearing behind the two heavy doors.

The doors are surrounded by floor-to-ceiling glass windows, and she's more than a little tempted to peek inside and steal an unsuspecting glance at Jax or her boys before her entrance. She imagines he is already standing waiting for her at the end of the aisle, while Abel and Thomas are sitting in one of the front pews with Mrs. Ellie and her daughter, waiting for their cue.

"You good?" Linc asks, looking down at her quizzically as he's drawing her attention back to him.

"Yeah," Tara nods, "I am." She clings a little tighter to his arm, while both Christy and Rayna scurry around her to righten her dress, even though in her opinion it doesn't need any righting.

Everyone exchanges bright smiles right before they're lining up in the correct order. The photographer is snapping pictures the whole time, all the while Tara works on autopilot as they walk even closer to the big, ornate doors of the chapel.

This is it. This was the moment she'd wished for since the first time Jax proposed to her.

"I'm happy for you, Cuz," Linc murmurs from next to her, his sentimental side showing through which only adds to her already heightened emotions.

She feels a mixture of nerves and excitement assault her, and then finds herself wondering if Jax is feeling nervous too. Probably not, she thinks, because unlike her, being the center of attention or public speaking has never scared her man in all the years she has known him. And in a professional setting, she's usually fine with it too, but this isn't some medical conference, this is highly private and intimate but with an audience nonetheless, and it makes her stomach flutter nervously at the thought.

Once this part is over though, she'll be fine, she tells herself. It is just the thought of standing at the front with everyone staring at her and reciting their vows without screwing them up, that is making her a little nervous. After the vow part is done, she can relax, and she and Jax can just enjoy the rest of the day and celebrate with their closest friends and family like they wished they could've done the first time around.

Just then, her gaze catches sight of the little memorial plaque built right into the stone wall framing the path to the entrance of the chapel that says: Let all who enter here find peace and contentment within.

Phew, she releases the breath she was unconsciously holding, willing away her nervousness because at long last her relationship with Jax is as solid as the stone and wood this chapel is made of. Their marriage has truly become her place of peace and contentment. So those words feel like kismet!

Part of her wishes she could reach back in time and tell her younger self that everything will turn out as it should.

In the darkest moments of her deepest despair, it would have been comforting to know that eventually, she would be happier than she could ever have imagined. And that every heartbreak, and all the pain she's endured, it would all be a thing of the past one day.

But back then she wasn't ready, because Jax hadn't been. She doesn't think he was capable of loving her in this way back then, at least not while still being a part of the Club.

They needed to live through every twist and turn, experience every high and those lowest lows. Lose each other and lose themselves in unmitigated pain, all on their predestined path to reclaim true love and inner peace, and allow themselves to finally be happy. That's what she chooses to believe, because how else could she possibly explain the multiple wrong turns and painful mistakes they've made?

Someone inside the chapel must have got the nod that they're here because the song she's handpicked herself, begins to play and the melody filters through the still-closed grand doors, successfully interrupting her thoughts.

A moment later the doors swing open wide giving them unfettered access, just as everyone that had been seated in the pews stands up and is turning in their direction. And for a few brief seconds, she glances around at the staring faces of their friends and family, who unlike Jax can already see her behind her two friends lined up ahead of Linc and her, and are smiling brightly at the sight of her in her dress.

Then they all watch as Rayna and Christy begin their walk inside the chapel.

To the beat of the music, Rayna is the first to slowly make her way down the aisle in her stunning black dress and bouquet of roses in her hands, and a few beats later Christy follows, dressed the same and clutching a matching bouquet too.

And once both take their places as Tara's bridesmaid and maid of honor at the end of the aisle, Jax can peek past their standing guests and finally get his first unobscured glimpse of his bride.

Jesus Christ! The sight of her leaves him utterly speechless.

Tara takes a step forward, hanging on tightly to Lincoln's arm when a new jolt of nerves makes her legs suddenly feel like Jell-O, but stubbornly she slowly keeps moving one foot in front of the other anyway, hoping the weak knees she's experiencing will soon pass.

It honestly takes Jax's breath away when she appears through the doors, and he has to remind himself to keep breathing. He never got to see her in her dress or even the dress itself beforehand, because she'd made it clear that the old-fashioned tradition mattered to her, and now he's hit with a barrage of emotions at the sight of her as he tries to digest what he sees.

But if he's being completely honest, at first all he sees is her gorgeous face, then her beautiful tits, followed by her voluptuous hips he loves and couldn't wait to get his hands on, dressed in expensive-looking white fabric.

Only now does his brain finally catch up so he can absorb the smaller details about her. Like the way her long chocolate brown hair is mostly loose, with just a few strands pinned back and away from her face, hidden beneath a shimmering sheer white veil, while the rest falls in curled waves past her shoulders and frames her face to perfection.

And as for the dress, damn! The bodice fits her body like an hourglass-shaped glove, accentuating all of her impressive curves, flaring out where it reaches her hips again, with a long skirt that sweeps across the floor. She looks elegant and perfect, but somehow also sexy as fuck.

Simultaneously, Tara can feel every set of eyes of their guests on her, and lets her eyes drift across them for just a split second in return, specifically seeking out Abel and Thomas, before she starts to make the slow and short march down the aisle.

But the instant when Jax is finally unobscured in her line of sight, seeing him clearly for the first time, her mouth almost falls open, because what she sees does not at all match what she pictured in her head for the last four weeks. She hadn't dared to wish for it, but here he is, all six-foot-one of the dangerously sinful temptation that is her husband, wearing a tailored suit. A suit?

She tries to focus on how handsome and happy Jax looks, but seeing him in a suit reminds her of the last time he dressed up similarly for her to attend their high school prom. And God, that memory brings back all kinds of emotions with it too, because just look at how far they've come!

How on earth has he kept that from her? That's her next thought, before her awed expression morphs in the blink of an eye, becoming a dazzling smile directed right at him.

Jax is standing tall, captivatingly watching her, and with the way she lit up when their eyes connected, he couldn't stop the equally bright smile from spreading across his own face even if someone had held a cocked and loaded gun to his head. Nothing could ever come close to how she just made him feel.

Who could've known that sixteen-year-old him asking this girl out to the movies at Ope's urging would turn out to be the best decision of his godforsaken life? Certainly not him.

With his next breath, he's struck with a feeling of accomplishment that for once he was able to keep a promise and give her this day she wished for, for so long. The way they'd been able to pull this off in just a month seems almost too good to be true. But here they are, coming full circle and renewing their vows.

He can't stop smiling for even a second with the knowledge this woman is about to commit herself to him for the second time. That, in mere minutes, they'll exchange rings and vows and kiss, with it signaling the new beginning they've been wishing for. A do-over … a fresh start!

Tara's head is held high, her footsteps soft and poignant, and when his striking blue eyes lock with her hazel-green ones, she can't seem to see anything else, except him, nor can she stop smiling either.

Looking at him now, he is without question the most handsome man she's ever known. His naturally golden-blond hair is styled away from his face, and she can't wait to run her hands through it. His slightly darker rounded eyebrows and long lashes make those already sparkling blue eyes of his, which keep holding her gaze, pop all the more. His face is all sharp masculine angles, even with his perfectly trimmed beard, which she loves to run her fingers over. Each facial feature of his seems almost perfectly symmetrical except for the beauty mark -which he hates and she loves- near the left side of his mouth. A mouth made up of sensuous full pink lips, that she swears could belong to a fallen angel, if she didn't have first-hand knowledge of all the dirty, naughty things those lips are capable of saying and doing to her.

With all of his natural good looks and oozing charm, while dressed like this, in a suit, she swears there's a storybook prince thing about him that somehow makes him even more alluring and compelling. Something she never thought could even be possible.

On top of all that, he manages to look downright stoic, and unlike her, he doesn't seem to be nervous at all, and that seems to settle everything for her again as she takes step after step toward him. Because this fairytale prince is all hers, and this is right, and with their eyes locked on each other, she feels their usual connection. It reassures her that they were always meant to be, and the nervous feeling she couldn't shake finally quiets, and her whole body just seems to calm at the sight of the expression on his face. A face that radiates nothing but happiness, and she's got no doubt that it matches her own.

He tilts his head just enough to make his smile appear a bit lopsided as she approaches the end of the aisle, and the look he's giving her, she knows all too well too. It's a look of pure love! She easily returns it, unsure what she's even been so nervous about because their audience is all but forgotten, because he is perfect. This moment is perfect.

Tara finally reaches Jax's side, close enough that the unmistakable scent of her favorite perfume is bombarding his senses, and he's flooded with different kinds of memories of her this time. Uncalled for, yet very vivid memories of him and her, naked and sweaty and tangled in sheets that still smell like her long after she leaves the bed. Christ, get it together, Teller- he tells himself, because he can not afford to get hard right now, not wearing these slacks that fit a lot tighter than his usual more baggy type of jeans.

They still stare and smile at each other, unintentionally lengthening the moment, until Linc clears his throat in an attempt to break the spell they seem to be under. And it works because both of their attention finally, but reluctantly, shifts from each other to Tara's relative.

Linc grabs her hand, turns to face her, and kisses her forehead just like he used to when they were much younger, giving her a sweet smile and mouthing "Love you, Cuz," to her.

He then turns his attention to Jax, the muscles on their faces seem to tighten as the two men communicate and nod at each other in some kind of wordless understanding, then shake hands right before Linc places Tara's right hand in Jax's left at last.

But when Jax takes her hand, that nervousness she briefly felt on the way over here is nothing compared to the electric current surging through her now at once, followed by an involuntary shiver and a trail of goosebumps forming across her skin.

It makes her cheeks heat and blush, all while she tries to absorb and memorize every detail of him and this moment, now that they're up close and standing face to face.

His lips tip up into a lopsided smile, and her eyes are drawn again to how full and pink they are. She dreamed about those lips last night, and by the way his eyes smolder at her, he seems to know exactly what she's thinking about, and he might be thinking the same.

That thought leads to a photo montage of their happy moments from over the years playing out inside Tara's mind's eye. Countless smiles and kisses and bliss from the time when they were young until today, and it makes her wonder if there's ever been a time when she hasn't been in love with him because looking back it seems like it's been forever.

It feels like time has stopped, and for what seems like a long moment but is really only seconds, Tara is totally out of it, because an overabundance of hormones and nerves and feelings seem to suddenly have her in a chokehold of some sort, turning everything around her into a blissful blur to the point that fears she might faint if she wasn't holding onto Jax's hand.

She has just enough wits about her to wonder if she's so out of it that she's somehow missed the whole thing and missed Mitchell saying that it is already time to kiss the bride, because Jax lets go of her hand to promptly cradles her face with both hands instead, leans in and puts his lips on hers in a heady kiss that has her swooning for another reason.

But like something straight out of a biker version of Sleeping Beauty, with the kiss her body and mind come awake just in time to register the words of the officiant when he chuckles as he reminds Jax. "You're skipping some vital steps there, Jackson."

Instantly followed by some amused words and chuckles coming from their guests as Jax quickly pulls back from the kiss, leaving Tara's lips feeling cold after the lost contact.

Looking back at him, her heart flutters wildly in her chest, her gaze wide and shocked at the realization that she hasn't missed anything in a blur of nerves, but her husband simply took it upon himself to steal a kiss from her ahead of schedule.

"Shit, sorry," Jax says, glancing over at Mitchell for a split-section.

But just as quickly his eyes connect back with hers, and judging by the proud gleam in them, coupled with the mischievous smile, her man is anything but sorry.

Tara's just shaking her head at him in amusement now, yet smiling just the same. Leave it to Jax to kiss her before the ceremony even officially began, and curse inside a chapel on their wedding day.

It takes her back to another time and place again, remembering his proclamation when they did this the first time around just two years ago. Hey, I'm all about the fairytale, baby!

But then something about his expression grows serious, he's still smiling, but definitely more serious, bringing her back to the present. And his ocean-blue eyes stare into her eyes as if he can read her soul with just that single glance, before he whispers, so only she can hear. "You look beautiful."

It's just three words he's told her plenty of times before, but they still caress her like velvet, and even though she could already see it in his eyes during the walk down the aisle, her heart and body still melts at his spoken approval.

"You too," and "You're wearing a suit," she finally manages to answer with a happy grin, unable to hide her delight that he dressed up for the occasion. Dressed up for her. Be still my pregnant, horny heart.

Clearly happy that he's made her happy, Jax just smiles at her and runs his thumb over her mood ring and then her palm. She knows it's meant to be sweet and to calm her, but all it does is send a spike of heat straight to her groin.

She pushes her chest out unconsciously and parts her lips, feeling her cheeks flood with heat again, and there's a hungry gleam in her eyes as she takes in his sexy full lips.

As if he can read her mind, his stare intensifies, turning into something sinfully scandalous and full of dirty promises, and his lips twitch at one corner again, the telltale sign of yet another smirk. He bites his lips when his gaze drops to her lips, and then further to her cleavage, before traveling down the rest of her. Doing a full sweep of her body, shamelessly undressing her with his eyes, before giving her his unmistakable I-can't-wait-to-fuck-you-look.

All the while, his thumb is still stroking back and forth over her skin, the roughness of his calluses reminding her of all the sinful things he's capable of doing with those hands too.

No. She can't be thinking of him like that. At least not now, in here and in front of their closest family and friends. She internally admonishes herself, but she has to admit that as much as she's been looking forward to the reception, and celebrating this day, she won't be sad when it ends either, so she can have him all to herself tonight and for the next five days to celebrate in private.

Suddenly, Christy reaches over to take Tara's bridal bouquet, while Rayna fluffs out the skirt of her dress to make it look prettier, bringing them out of their little moment and severing their connecting hands too, just as the officiant addresses their guests who are all still standing, "Please be seated."

There is a soft chorus of people moving, clothes rustling, and someone's already sniffling from over on Tara's left, just when his eyes meet hers and their gazes lock again as they face each other. And when Jax grips her fine-boned, soft hands tightly in his, she swears she feels the tingle that runs through her going straight to her core again.

"Dear friends and family, with great affection for Jackson and Tara we have gathered here today to witness and bless their recommitment to marriage." Their officiant Hal Mitchell starts with those words, and they both try to listen and take it all in.

"For some people, their first love is nothing but a fleeting spark heralding a greater love to come. For others, like Jackson and Tara, that first love is the greatest love. The only love. And although Jackson and Tara have been in love since the tender age of sixteen, they've only made vows to each other in earnest two years ago. Two lovers took a leap of faith into an unknown future and promised to continue to walk life's path together. They didn't know on that day what married life would have in store for them, and as deeply in love as they were and still are, it hasn't always been easy."

Mitchell pauses for a split-second, before he nods at the couple and carries on, "Jackson and Tara, today you recognize that you've only made a start on your joint journey, but let me entrust both of you to remember that your future happiness lies solely within your hands. You should always treat each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of the love that has brought you together. Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness, and kindness that your marriage deserves. And should difficulties, frustration, and fear assail your relationship, as they threaten all relationships at one time or another, please remember to focus on all that is right between you, and not only the part that seems wrong. In this way, you can ride out the storms when the clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives, and please remember that even if you lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there, and so is your love for each other. And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will undoubtedly be marked by an abundance of love and happiness."

Jax knows his life has taken a turn for the better when he finally chose to put Tara first, and he absorbs every word and tries to take it to heart, because he doesn't want to mess up again in any way, and repeat past mistakes.

"Jackson and Tara, you made a very serious and important decision in choosing to recommit to each other today. As I said, you are continuing your journey as life partners and the quality of your marriage will reflect what you put into nurturing your relationship. So let me ask you: Jackson, on this day, do you rededicate and reconfirm your commitment to the vows you promised to uphold?"

"Yes, I do," Jax replies, his words clear and strong as he holds Tara's gaze.

And he can't help himself from gripping her hands tighter when he says those words, like if he loosens his grip, she'll realize her mistake and not marry him again after all. Because after all the ways he's hurt her, there's a part of him that doesn't know how she could still love him, when she's the definition of an angel and he's the poster child of a sinner. Tara is so pure and good, while most days he still feels peppered with so much darkness.

And then there's his real fear, his nightmare -Gemma will somehow take her from him. Logically he obviously knows neither of those scenarios is going to happen, but on some fucked up subconscious level, and considering everything that has already happened to them or more specifically to her, he considers it a very real fear that seems to resurface at the most inopportune times, like today of all days.

Jax unintentionally holds his breath when the minister asks Tara, "Tara, on this day, do you also rededicate and reconfirm your commitment to the vows you promised to uphold?"

"Yes, I do," Tara says with more determination than he expected, then smiles brightly up at him as tears begin pooling in her eyes.

Those three little words and the look on her face allow him to start breathing again and for the first time today have him on the verge of tears too. For a moment, he feels like the luckiest man in the universe, remarrying the woman he loves more than anything on this perfect spring day.

He's been waiting for this day for the last month, ever since Tara said yes when he proposed to her again on Valentine's Day. Four weeks was as long as he was willing to wait when he knew she'd been waiting forever for this moment.

"Jackson and Tara, there are many more things I could say to the two of you today, but it is my understanding that you've written vows you wish to say to one another. Jax?"

Suddenly, it feels like a lump's caught in his throat, and for a second his mind is blank when the officiant prompts him to begin with their vows, but thankfully he recovers quickly enough that nobody's the wiser. He clears his throat, and says, "I, Jackson Nathaniel, take you, Tara Grace, to be my wife, and these things I promise you: I will be faithful to you and honest with you. I will respect, trust, and help you, and always care for you. I will share my life with you. Through the best and worst of what is to come, now and forever, in this life and beyond, where we shall meet, remember, and love each other again."

It's now Tara's turn and all eyes shift to her, just as the officiant nods at her for her to proceed.

She's thankful that her voice comes out strong, unlike the nervous shakiness she feels inside when she begins to recite her vows to Jax. "I, Tara Grace, take you, Jackson Nathaniel, to be my husband, and these things I promise you: I will be faithful to you and honest with you. I will respect, trust, and help you, and always care for you. I will share my life with you. Through the best and worst of what is to come, now and forever, in this life and beyond, where we shall meet, remember, and love each other again."

Women are wiping the edge of their eyes, trying to save their mascara from running, and sniffing their noses as they nod their approval of the vows Jax and Tara chose for themselves.

"Now it's time to exchange the rings." The officiant Mr. Mitchell instructs, nodding toward Mrs. Ellie, Abel, and Thomas.

A quick moment later, after Mrs. Ellie hands the respective ring to each boy, Abel gets up first and takes a few steps over to his dad, to proudly give Jax the ring for his mom, and Tara's emotions begin to get the better of her again.

"Here, Dad, you have to put it on mom's finger," Abel explains, seemingly reciting the words that he's been told himself of what the ring is for.

His words inspire a few "Aww" and amused chuckles from their guests. "Thanks, buddy," Jax says, and then he and Tara kiss the top of Abel's head before he sits back down beside Mrs. Ellie and his brother.

The new ring is a smidge wider than the first, but it's white gold, and compliments the engagement ring Jax gave Tara more than the ring Gemma had given them.

Once more, Tara can't explain why she's feeling the way she is, but despite her best efforts, her heartbeat feels hummingbird quick, and her fingers tremble a little as she raises her hand for him.

Jax can obviously feel her trembling as he takes her smaller hands in his bigger, stronger ones again, clasping them firmly and reassuringly, and is granted a sweet smile from her in return.

"I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and faithfulness," he says while slipping the ring back onto her slim finger where it belongs, and Tara visibly relaxes again at that moment. And not for the first time today he feels the enormity of even this simple act. Because wearing these rings is a sign of love and devotion to each other -a daily reminder of how he feels about her for the rest of their lives.

When it is Tara's turn, little Thomas is already there, holding up the small jewelry box for her with a "Here, Mom". She plugs Jax's ring from the velvet-covered slit within the box, before she and Jax thank and kiss him too, then watch and wait as their youngest son returns to his seat in one of the front pews.

She takes a deep breath in relief, and then repeats the same words back to him, "I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and faithfulness." And another serene smile curves her lips as she slides the ring onto her husband's finger once again.

Throughout his life Jax watched countless SAMCRO couples get married with a real ceremony, and he's relieved he could finally make it happen for Tara and him too. He feels like there was truly nothing left standing between them and their happily ever after, except of course the officiant declaring them husband and wife for the second time around.

While internally counting down the seconds, out of the corner of his eye Jax sees Mitchell raise his hand, gesturing to the couple, and his voice is equally raised when he says. "And now, by the power -"

Heavy rain pounds noisily against the steep roof of the chapel out of nowhere, and the force of the wind slaps raindrops against the wall of windows beside them as well. The sudden change in weather interrupts their officiant Hal Mitchell mid-speech and takes everyone else off guard with the near-deafening white noise that's engulfing the chapel at once.

Forced out of their fairytale moment by the heavy rain, it surprises her that despite her previous worry about this exact scenario, the sudden heavy downpour doesn't upset her. Just like when she was approaching the chapel, she is simply too happy, too overcome by the love she feels for Jax to let rainfall affect her mood at this moment.

But she then catches the concerned expression on Jax's face as he, along with seemingly everyone else looks outside, assessing the shockingly surprising change of weather.

Jax's attention is brought right back to Tara when she squeezes his hands. She grips them with both of hers, and his eyes race over her features, instantly looking for any sign of distress or disappointment, but he finds neither.

And that's just one of the many reasons why he loves her. It's true that they both wished for clear blue skies today, but in the end, Tara's always been able to adapt to whatever life has thrown at them, and this was no different. He knows that she won't allow this change of plans to ruin this moment for them because that's just the kind of person she is. Case in point, this woman married him in a brothel, while he was wanted for murder the first time around, and she did so with the happiest of smiles on her face.

But still, he wanted today to be perfect for her, because she deserves the very best. She deserves the wedding day of her dreams.

Tara notices his concern, loosens her grip, and raises her hand to his cheek, smiling brightly back at him just as the rain dies down enough for her to be heard when she whispers, "I couldn't have asked for a more perfect day. I love you, Jax."

Fuck it! Damn, this woman knows just what to say to soothe all of his worries away. He loves her so much and doesn't want to wait for another second to seal the deal on this, and so his feet move on their own accord, taking a step toward her.

Their officiant Mitchell fumbles with his note cards, but seems to sense Jax's intent, placing a hand on the younger man's shoulder. "Now, hold on, don't jump the gun again. I'm just about to close here," Mitchell bellows, which works because Jax retreats in the same instant their guests catch sight of what's going on, chuckling once more, and Tara is playfully shaking her head at him in amusement again too.

But she still looks at Jax with such love in her eyes that it forces him to forget all about the rain and interruption, and has him quickly mouth the words "I love you" right back to her.

"And now, by the power vested in me by the state of Oregon and before the eyes of all the witnesses in attendance, I once again pronounce you husband and wife." Mitchell announces with a satisfied smile that the deed is finally done, and adds, "And now Jackson, you may kiss your bride."

"Finally," Jax hastily exclaims.

Showing off a wolfish grin, he steps into her personal space and doesn't wait for her to move or get a hold of her emotions, nor does he give anyone the chance to object again either.

Instead, he quickly slides his palms over her cheeks to the nape of her neck, cradling the back of her head when she lifts it, holding her the same way he's done a thousand times in the past, and before they lose the moment again he slants his mouth over hers and finally kisses her.

Even though Tara knew it was coming, she's frozen on the spot, except for her eyes which fluttered shut a split-second before he firmly pressed his mouth against hers.

The kiss feels like they're finally on the right track. Like coming home. And despite the urgency in his actions, the kiss itself starts gentle, almost sweet, as he eases her into it, guiding her movements before she can fully relax and take part.

He's gently angling her for better access as he coaxes and teases, just as she opens her mouth with a sweet sigh when he flicks the seam of her lips with the tip of his tongue.

But then her breath still catches in her throat as his tongue pushes past her lips, entwining with her own, and his taste explodes in her mouth. Unsurprisingly warm and unapologetically masculine, he conquers her mouth. A mix of cigarettes and the freshness of breath mints swirls on her tongue. She relaxes again instinctively, and melts into him, allowing more of him to invade her, leaving her tingling all over.

Tara's hands, which had simply rested against his chest, suddenly clutched the lapels of his suit jacket, pulling, reflexively trying to draw him nearer.

Now, as her soft tongue is touching his, her fingers clutching him close and her sweet scent hits him even more, it warms his entire body. And with that warmth, all those fears he's been holding onto get chased away again too, coupled with an odd rush of relief that he's finally able to do what he's been so tempted to do after she first walked in.

Feeling both brazen and delusionally happy, he still cradles her head with one hand, but binds his other arm around her back and pulls her flush to him now, only to dip Tara in his arm a second later, all while continuing the kiss.

He faintly registers their friends and family hooping and hollering, but he doesn't care that all eyes are on them, nor does he seem to hear them. All he hears, feels, and sees is her -Tara, his wife. Everything and everyone else has become nothing but a blur.

So he doesn't pay their captive audience any mind when a jolt of lust surges inside him, quickly morphing this kiss into one full of hunger, and filling his mind with dirty thoughts of how he's going to fuck his wife tonight. Being a better man in that regard definitely isn't in his near future.

He takes full advantage, holding her firmly in place for as long as she'll allow it. Smothering, and consuming her with his heat, as he further deepens the kiss.

A low groan only Tara can hear vibrates from his throat, and the sexy sound makes its way through her body, settling and making a home low in her core. It has the deep warmth in her belly spread like a wildfire, burning everything in its path, until all she wants is to just get him to make that sound again.

Their friends and family are still booming with ecstasy, while she's working hard to drown them all out and focus on the feel of his mouth against hers, and the way it's still sending tingles of heat straight to her core.

Her hands are at the nape of his neck now, holding on while her fingers glide through his short hair, enjoying every second before he'll let go and the kiss will end.

At this moment, it doesn't matter that their guests are watching. It doesn't matter that their officiant stands less than four feet away. Nothing matters except the feel of his lips moving on hers, and the fireworks shooting off throughout her body, bringing every inch to life. Absolutely nothing matters except how happy they are and how neither of them wants this kiss to end.

But all good things have to come to an end. So eventually, Jax's lips leave hers, causing Tara to open her eyes and meet his, which are still heavy-lidded from the kiss too as he's looking down at her and begins to smirk like he has just gotten away with the heist of the century.

She holds his gaze as he pulls her back up to a stand, then gives him a small, shy smile. Looking so goddamn innocent when she wants to be, even though that kiss had been anything but innocent.

Only then do either of them notice their friends and family, who are all standing by now, cheering and clapping, whistling and laughing, sounding like a firework of happiness echoing off the walls of the small chapel.

Tara's lips feel swollen, and she has to fight the urge to smooth a finger over them, trying to commit the kiss to memory, yet self-consciousness flares hot in her chest and has her blushing as she comes down from the high she just experienced.

And judging by her blush, Jax realizes he probably let the kiss go on far too long than what's appropriate, but he can't bring himself to care. Besides, maybe she's blushing because she's also been picturing what he has planned for her tonight once their honeymoon starts.

He presses one last quick kiss against her mouth, before releasing her so suddenly, that she's instantly off balance. She reaches out, grasping his arms and sleeves to steady herself, sucking in a deep breath just as he grabs her and pulls her into his side instead.

"Well, we know who is in for a good wedding night tonight," Mitchell quips and the applause and laughter of their guests intensifies once more.

Although still blushing, Tara looks up at Jax conspiratorially and his answering wink and smirk leave no doubt they're both thinking the same thing. That tonight can't come soon enough.

"Oh, look, the sun's back out," Diane calls out loud enough to be heard over the celebratory chorus of their guests.

Her words make the applause die down and replace it with sighs of relief and astonishing awes as everyone's attention, including Jax and Tara's, shifts to the floor-to-ceiling wall of glass behind them, where it's easy to see that all rain and clouds have vanished again and everything was basking in bright sunshine instead.

It looks deceivingly warm, and bright and beautiful, like a technicolor spread as far as the eye can see. The greenery is greener, the flowers are brighter and even the ocean off in the distance appears to be a deeper blue.

Jax's hand on her hip grips her tighter as he pulls her into him one more time, before he drops his hand completely to link his fingers with hers instead, lifts their joined hands to his lips, and kisses the back of hers.

The familiar gesture draws her attention back to him, looking up and meeting his eyes when he smiles contently about the turn of the weather.

And it has her easily return the smile, her eyes sparkling with happiness when she agrees, "It's perfect."

X

Author's Note: I hope you all enjoyed this first part of their wedding. My plan has always been to post the whole wedding as one chapter, but after I got to 20k words I started to finally realize I might need to break it up into two parts after all. So after countless hours of editing, I'm finally happy enough with this first part to be posted. Writing Jax in a somewhat traditional wedding setting has proven to be my Achilles heel, so please take pity on me if he sounds a bit out of character. Anyway, I hope you like it enough to leave me a few words. Thanks for reading.