Hope for All- chapter 10
Tony and Angela held on to each other, just letting the tears fall. After a few moments, they pulled back from one another, Tony grabbing the tissues for both of them. Tony led her over to the sofa so they both could sit down. Tears were still running down Angela's face as Tony slowly rubbed her back. Angela took a few deep breaths and leaned closer to Tony.
"I knew I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up. How could I have been so stupid?" said Angela.
"Eh oh, oh eh! Having hope isn't stupid! We both new this wasn't a guarantee but we can try again. This is going to happen for us Angela. Don't doubt that okay?" he said as he took hold of her hand.
"I guess so. The clinic said we can do another round of the insemination next cycle. They recommend doing between three and four cycles of insemination before moving to IVF. So there is still the chance it will work, I guess…" Angela trailed off as she looked down at their intertwined hands.
Tony gently lifted her head up to meet his gaze. "Exactly Angela. There's still plenty of chances for this to work. Remember, we are in this together" he said.
"Yes… yes we are. Thank you Tony. I really don't know how I would get through this without you" she said as she placed a soft kiss on his cheek.
"Why don't you go lay down for a while? I'll get you up before dinner" he said.
"Okay Tony. I think I'll take a bath first" she said as she stood and walked upstairs.
Tony's gaze never left Angela as she walked away from him. "I wish I could tell her. I wish I knew if she felt it too. I can barely keep it together these days anytime we are together. It's more than attraction. It's… it's love. I love Angela. But how can I be in love with my boss, with someone so beautiful, so sophisticated, so successful? Get it together Tony! She deserves so much more than you could ever give her!" Tony thought to himself as he regrouped and headed into the kitchen to start dinner.
Later that evening, Angela came down from her bath and attempts at resting. Tony came into the living room from the kitchen.
"Are Mother and the kids back yet?" she asked. "No not yet. They should be home soon though" Tony said as the front door sprung open. Jonathan, Samantha and Mona all walked in together, all three in deep conversation with each other. Tony and Angela gave each other a look, both silently agreeing they needed to rip the bandaid off sooner rather than later and let the family know the results.
"Hey kids! How was school?" Tony asked.
"It was great Tony! I'm starving! When's dinner?" Jonathan asked. "Easy there buddy! It will be ready soon!" How about you Sam?" asked Tony.
"It was pretty good. I think my math test went well. Best part is I have no homework tonight!" yelled Samantha excitedly.
Neither of the kids noticed Angela being uncharacteristically quiet. However, Mona picked up on it and her far off expression, as well as her nervous habit of biting her nails. She didn't need anyone to tell her that the results were negative, she could tell by Angela's demeanor.
"So kids, come take a seat for a minute. We have a few minutes before dinner. Angela and I need to talk to you for a minute" said Tony. Both Samantha and Jonathan looked at each other, wondering what trouble they were in and how they could get out of it, and then sat down next to Tony on the sofa.
Angela started to walk to the side chair when Mona stopped her momentarily. Not being one to show a lot of emotions, she quickly took Angela's hand and gave it a little squeeze, follow by a loving glance. Angela was fighting back tears as she squeezed back and moved to sit down.
Tony looked over at Angela and could tell he needed to be the one to tell the kids. All he wanted to do was go over to her and wrap her up in his arms and kiss away all of the afternoon's stress.
"So today was the day we were scheduled to find out if the procedure worked for Angela. She went this morning for the blood test. They called about an hour ago with the results and they… they were negative. It… it didn't work this time. On the upside, we can try again next month" he said as he looked from the kids to Angela. Both kids followed Tony's lead and looked over at Angela.
"I'm really sorry Angela. I know how much you wanted this to happen" said Samantha. "Yeah mom, I'm sorry too" said Jonathan.
"Thank you both. As Tony said, we will try again next month" she said. The tears were threatening to fall, so she quickly left the room to head to her office, claiming to need to do some work before dinner.
"She's really upset isn't she dad? What can we do for her?" asked Samantha.
"Yes she is… we both are. I'm not sure what we can do" said Tony.
"Look- I know my daughter. She's tough, independent, strong, stubborn. She will be alright with some time. She's not used to not having control over things, which has made this whole thing more challenging for Angela. The best thing we can all do is keep it as normal as possible around here" said Mona.
"Okay Mona, we will keep things as normal as possible. C'mon dweeb let's get ready for dinner" said Samantha as they got up and headed upstairs.
"I'm really worried about her Mona. She's just so sad and defeated. I don't know what to do to help her" Tony said, looking defeated himself.
"Tony, you are doing everything right and then some. You know she couldn't be doing any of this, from the successes to the heartbreaks, without your support. So, just out of curiosity, have you two spoken to each other… about each other?" questioned Mona.
"What do you mean Mona?" asked Tony.
"What I mean is, have you two talked about your relationship? How you feel about each other? You know, the fact neither one of you can stand being away from one another for any period of time, the constant cocker spaniel eyes going on, the frequent make out sessions…"
"Mona! Are you spying on us?" Tony practically yelled.
"Ah ha! No I haven't but I've had my suspicions. Do you love her Tony?" she questioned.
"Wha… what do you mean? Of course I love her! I love Angela, Jonathan and most of the time you! We are family!" Tony said, silently hoping that was a sufficient enough answer for Mona.
"Are you in love with her Tony? Not as her housekeeper, or as her best friend or anything else platonic… boy deja vu is strong lately!" quipped Mona.
"What does that have to do with anything?" he asked. "Does everyone in this house answer a question with a question?" Mona asked sarcastically. "Alright, I give up with you two. Keep driving that car with the blind nun with the flats!" she said as she got up, smirking as she walked away, knowing Tony never denied he was in love with Angela. "Now if those two chickens would ever wake up and see what is right in front of them, my work would be done!" she thought to herself.
A short while later, Tony called the family for dinner. Everyone tried to keep it as normal as possible, talking almost nonstop about about school, friends, past and future dates, college classes, anything really to keep the conversation flowing. Angela mostly kept quiet, entering into conversations only when she was directly asked a question. She mostly spent her time pushing her food around her plate with her fork, staring at it to avoid any additional conversation.
Tony barely touched his food as well, his worry for Angela winning over his hunger. Finally, a lightbulb went off in Tony's mind. He knew what he needed to do to cheer up Angela.
"Okay everyone time to finish and clean up! Kids, I need you to put away the leftovers and wash the dishes. I need to borrow Angela for a bit but we will be back before it's time for bed" Tony said with a glimmer of hope in his voice.
"Tony, I really don't want to go anywhere…" Angela started to say until Tony interrupted her, grabbing her arm and pulling her to stand.
"Trust me Angela, okay?" he said. Reluctantly, Angela followed Tony into the living room. He helped Angela into her coat and quickly grabbed his own coat and keys before escorting her out the door. He opened the car door for her and then went to get in his side.
"Where are we going Tony?" she asked. "You'll see, just be patient" he said.
After a short drive, Tony pulled into a local garden center. He parked the car and got out of the car.
"A garden center? It's the beginning of November Tony. What are we doing here?" questioned Angela.
"Come with me and you'll find out" Tony said as he held out his hand. Angela put her hand in his and followed him into the center. Tony led her through the different aisles until he reached the rose section.
"We're here!" he said, with a wide smile forming across his face. "Roses? I'm no gardener, but isn't this a spring thing?"
"Normally, yes planting is done in the spring. It's the way most people choose to do it- wait until the ground thaws, plant as the weather starts to get warmer and then bam! Beautiful flowers in the late spring, early summer. What most people don't know is that you can plant flowers, even roses, at any time, as long as the ground isn't frozen. It's not the traditional way of doing it. Some might even say it's a waste of time and energy. Doing it this way is frustrating at times because the growth is slower, at times seeming like nothing is happening. But then, when you least expect it, when winter finally comes to an end, there is it, a beautiful flower" said Tony.
Tears started forming in her eyes as she finally realized why Tony brought her here tonight. She looked around and smiled as there was one rose bush left labeled pink. Tony smiled as well and picked up the bush. Angela took his hand as they walked to the cashier. After paying, they walked out to the car and put the rose bush in the back seat. They stood outside the car before opening their doors.
"Thank you Tony. I don't know how you do it each and every time but you just seem to know what I need before I even can think about it. Thank you" Angela said.
"My pleasure Angela. I can't stand to see you sad, so if there's something I can do to put that beautiful smile back on your face, I'll try" he said.
He leaned in ever so slowly until he was only a few inches from her face. He put his hand gently on her cheek and leaned in for a kiss. Angela met his kiss with her own and soon one kiss turned into many. She steadied herself on the car door as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He in turn pulled her flush up against him, the heat between them rising despite the chill in the air. Time seemed to stand still as they continued to push the boundaries of their relationship. Finally remembering they were in a public parking lot, Angela reluctantly pulled apart, not before placing one last kiss to Tony's lips before getting into the car. Tony smiled as he watched her get in and closed the door for her. He slowly made his way to his side, taking some deep breaths to regain some composure before getting back into the car. Both held hands in silence as Tony drove the short distance home, the smile never leaving their faces.