Hope for All- chapter 12
Angela was discharged from the hospital early the next morning, with instructions to take it easy the next few days. The car ride back home was mostly silent, with Angela staring off out the window and Tony glancing over at her every few moments, afraid she would fall apart again. Once they pulled up to the house, they both sat in silence. Tony reached over and grabbed Angela's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"Angela, before we go in, I think we should talk" said Tony.
Wiping tears from her eyes, Angela nodded, unable to formulate any words.
"I know this seems bad right now, but we really don't know anything yet. It could have still worked. We just don't know. Remember what we said though- we need to lean on one another. We are in this together, the good times as well as the bad. Promise me Angela, alright?" he asked with a worried expression on his face.
"I'll do my best okay Tony. Right now, I just want to lay down in my bed and sleep away this day" she said as she let go of his hand and opened the car door. Tony ran around to her side and helped her out as she was still in pain. He helped her walk up to the front door. It was barely 5:00am, so the house was dark and quiet.
"How about I make you some breakfast before you go and rest? You haven't eaten anything since yesterday morning. You must be starving" he said.
"No thank you Tony. I just want to lay down and sleep. I'll take you up on breakfast when I get up. You need to sleep too Tony. You've been up practically all night too" she said as she went to head upstairs. Tony helped her up the stairs and into her bedroom.
"Thank you Tony. I can take it from here" she said as she walked to her bed.
"Alright Angela. I'm going to go lay down too. If you need anything, just call me or one of the kids" he said as he closed her door. He couldn't help but feel like he was losing something he couldn't quite put his finger on, but was causing him immense sadness.
The next few days, Angela seemed to withdraw more and more. She slept away most of her bed rest and then was up early for work each morning. More often than not, she ended up staying late at the office, barely seeing the family.
The day before Angela was scheduled to go for her pregnancy test, she once again left the house before the family was up and ready for the day. Tony had tried to talk to her multiple times over the past two weeks, but to no avail.
Tony was finishing cleaning up the kitchen after the kids left for school when Mona walked in and poured herself a cup of coffee.
"Morning Mona. Shouldn't you be heading off to work already?" he said as he finished drying the dishes.
"What's the point? Drill sergeant Angela has been there since dawn, doing the work of six people. She's going to burn herself out soon and we are going to be left to pick up the pieces. So what are you going to do about it bub?" asked Mona.
"Me? Why me? She's your daughter! And besides… I've tried to talk to her since she came home from the hospital but it's like she's put up a wall and she's not letting anyone in, not the kids, or you or even me. What can I do?" he questioned with a mixture of frustration and sadness in his voice.
"Why don't you and the kids meet me at work and we will drag Angela out of the office to do some Christmas shopping. Maybe go to dinner, just the five of us" said Mona.
"You think we can convince her to come?" Tony questioned with some hope in his voice.
"Tony, if there's one thing I know for certain, it's that you can convince anyone of anything you put your mind to, especially Angela."
"Okay then let's do this! I'll pick up the kids from school and head right into the city. Mona, I hope this works. I just can't stand to see her so sad and withdrawn" said Tony.
"I know Tony, but I think this will work. It's got to…" Mona said as she stood up to head off to work, leaving Tony alone in the kitchen, hoping too that this would work.
Shortly before 4pm, Tony, Jonathan and Samantha walked into the Bower Agency and were greeted by Mona. She buzzed Angela over the intercom.
"Angela, your 4pm clients are here" she said. "I don't have any clients scheduled for the rest of the day. Who is it?" said Angela. "Why don't you come out here and see?" said Mona.
After a few moments, Angela came out and saw Tony and the kids standing in the lobby. A genuine smile crossed her face for the first time in almost two weeks, something that made everyone smile.
"What are you all doing here?" said Angela.
"Angela Bower! We are taking you away from work and having you spend some quality one-on-one time with some of your favorite people… and Mona" quipped Tony as Mona threw a pencil at him from her desk.
"What? I still have work to do.." Angela started but was interrupted by Mona. "No you don't dear. You've been working nonstop for the past two weeks. I've cleared your schedule and mine for the rest of the day. No excuses left, so go grab your coat and bag and let's get out of here!" Mona said enthusiastically.
"Okay okay! Just let me get my stuff. Maybe we can do some last minute shopping and go see the Rockefeller Christmas Tree!" she said as she headed into her office. Tony motioned for the kids to wait there as he went in after her and shut the door behind him.
"It's so nice to see that beautiful smile again on your face Angela. I've missed it. I've missed you" he said as he walked over to her and reached for her hands.
"I've missed you too Tony. I just… it was just too painful to have to deal with everything that I just shutdown. I know we said we were going to lean on each other, but I just felt like I failed at this, failed our family, failed you…" she trailed off as tears threatened to fall.
"Eh oh, oh eh! You didn't fail anyone, least of all me! You could never be anything less than perfect in my eyes. I'd like to come with you tomorrow for the pregnancy test. And I think we should schedule a meeting with the doctor again to go over everything and see how we should best proceed. I know they said insemination probably wouldn't work after what happened, but maybe there's something else to be done. And if not, we will explore IVF. Like I said, we have options Angela. I'm not giving up on this, I promise" he said as he wrapped her in a loving embrace.
After a few moments, Angela pulled back from his arms slightly. "I'm not going for the pregnancy test tomorrow. I got my period this morning. I called and canceled the test this morning" she said.
"Oh Angela… I'm… I am so sorry. Are you okay?" he said with a worried and anxious voice.
"Actually Tony I am. Part of me was relieved that I didn't have to go through anymore waiting. Just to know it didn't work and now to move on. I'm not saying I'm giving up on this, but I need a break. I want to enjoy Christmas and New Years. I want to relax and not have to worry about more testing and bloodwork and sonograms every few days. I figure in the New Year, I'll schedule another meeting with the clinic for us to discuss all our options. Is that okay with you?" asked Angela.
"Yes of course it's okay! I think we need to take a break from this rollercoaster of an experience. And maybe we can focus on spending more time… just us?" he said as he pulled her back into an embrace. Their faces were mere inches from one another as they both simultaneously leaned in for a kiss. What started out as a slow, sensual kiss, quickly escalated into a passionate one, both seeming to try and make up for the lost contact over the last few weeks. Eventually they parted, remembering the family was less than ten feet from them on the other side of the door. Angela and Tony quickly checked themselves and made sure they were presentable before heading back out of Angela's office.
The family decided to walk down Madison Avenue and cut across to 5th Avenue to do some window shopping. Mona and Samantha opted to go into Sak's Fifth Avenue to go clothing shopping. Jonathan saw a music store he wanted to go in too. The family agreed to meet in front of the tree within the hour.
Angela and Tony kept on window shopping, stopping occasionally at a store that either one found interesting. Somewhere along the way, their hands became intertwined and the space between them practically nonexistent. They were both drawn to a small mom and pop jewelry store across from the tree.
"You wanna go in Angela?" said Tony. "Sure! Their stuff looks so beautiful I'd like to see what else they have inside" said Angela.
Tony and Angela walked around the store, looking at the different display cases. Neither one of them stopped long at each display until they got to a case full of necklaces. One particular necklace caught both of their eyes. It was a rose gold infinity sign with a heart in the center, surrounded by diamonds in the infinity sign.
"Oh Tony look at that necklace! It's beautiful!" she practically squealed.
"Can we see that necklace please?" Tony asked the jeweler. The jeweler pulled out the necklace and showed it to them. Tony knew at that moment that Angela had to have that necklace for Christmas. He placed it on her neck as she lifted her hair. It was absolutely stunning on her Tony thought as he admired the beauty of not only the necklace, but of Angela as well.
"I don't think I've ever seen anything more beautiful" said Tony. Angela smiled as she took the necklace and handed it back to the jeweler. She kept walking to the next case when Tony signaled to the jeweler to hold the necklace for him.
After walking through the store, they decided to head back to meet the family. They found the rest of the family and headed to a local restaurant for dinner. While the family was waiting for their dinner to be served, Tony was able to sneak away and run back to the jewelry store to purchase the necklace. It was more than he had hoped to spend on her for Christmas, but after everything she had gone through and was continuing to go through, he knew she deserved that necklace. He bought the necklace and made it back to the restaurant just as dinner was being served.
After dinner, the family walked back to the car and headed home. Tony and Angela kept sneaking glances over at one another, trying to be as discreet as possible. However, both the kids and Mona couldn't help but notice them from their viewpoint in the backseat, nudging each other every once in a while when they caught them glancing lovingly at each other.
The next week seemed to fly by and soon it was Christmas Eve. Tony prepared the family a feast to celebrate. The family enjoyed each other's company and headed into the living room to watch It's a Wonderful Life. Tony made them all homemade hot chocolate and freshly baked cookies. It was a few years since the kids left cookies and milk for Santa. Tony wondered if they'd get a chance in the next few years to bring back those childhood traditions he missed now that the kids were older.
After the movie was over, Mona left to go back to her apartment and the kids went up to their rooms to bed. Once everyone was where they needed to be, Tony and Angela brought out the remainder of the presents and placed them under the tree.
"Tony, why don't you light a fire and I'll refill our hot chocolates?" said Angela as she went into the kitchen. Tony started the fire and pushed the two chairs closer together by the fireplace. He grabbed two blankets and placed them on the chairs just as Angela came back in with the drinks.
"This was such a wonderful Christmas Eve. The meal you made was beyond delicious. Spending time with our family is my favorite way to spend an evening" said Angela.
"Mine too Angela. I was thinking about how we used to leave cookies and milk for Santa. Those traditions we had for when the kids were little, it was so special. I didn't realize how much I missed it…" Tony said as he trailed off looking into the fireplace.
"Maybe we will get to do those things again, hopefully that is…" said Angela as she took Tony's hand in hers.
"Eh oh, oh eh! You bet we will! I'll even have to dig out the old Santa suit!" laughed Tony.
"It would be nice to have those Christmas traditions again. See a baby playing with the empty boxes instead of the gifts. Having a toddler running around making a mess with all their toys. Watching the excitement on a child's face when the cookies and milk are gone. It's such a magical time" she said.
Both Tony and Angela sat there in silence, each picturing what a home with their own baby would look like at Christmas. Soon, the fire started to go out. Realizing they should head up to bed soon as Christmas Day wake ups were still early, regardless of having older children, Tony extinguished the fire and Angela cleaned up the empty dishes.
Before either of them realized it, they were standing beneath the mistletoe. They both looked up and then back at each other, smiling before they came together in a passionate kiss. Angela wrapped her arms around his neck, while Tony's hands found her lower back. One kiss turned into two, turning into many as they finally came up for a breath.
"Merry Christmas Tony" she said as she pecked his lips one last time.
"Merry Christmas Angela" he said, an octave or two higher than normal as they reluctantly let go of one another and headed upstairs.
Christmas morning came early as usual for the Bower-Micelli home. Samantha, Jonathan and Mona were like excited little kids, getting up early and rushing to open their presents. After the events from late last night, both Tony and Angela were less enthusiastic as they trodded down the stairs. However, as soon as they saw the excitement on the family's faces, they perked up.
Gift after gift was opened, wrapping paper discarded all over the living room floor. When it was time for Angela to open up her gift, Tony began to worry it was too much.
"Here you go Angela. This one is from Tony" said Mona as she passed the gift. Angela ripped open the wrapping paper and opened the rectangular box. She nearly dropped the box as she gasped at the sight of the necklace.
"Oh Tony! It's the necklace from the jewelry store! It's too much! You shouldn't have Tony!" Angela practically squealed.
"Oh Angela it's so pretty!! Way to go Dad!" said Samantha. "Yeah Tony- nice one! I just might have to ummm borrow that one day…" said Mona as she was cut off by both Tony and Angela yelling no simultaneously.
"You like it Angela? It was so beautiful on you in the store" he said as he smiled lovingly at Angela.
"I love it Tony. Thank you!" she said as she got up and gave Tony a hug. "You're welcome Angela" he said as he savored their closeness. Next it was time for Angela's gift to Tony. She handed Tony a small package.
Tony ripped open the wrapping paper to find a rectangular box. "You got me a necklace too Angela!" Tony laughed. "No silly! Just open it!" she laughed.
Tony opened the box and pulled out a gold watch. He turned it over and saw there was an inscription. It read "Hope is the dream that awakens the soul."
"Oh wow Angela! This is beautiful! I love… what the watch says! Thank you!" he said as he got up and gave her another hug.
For the rest of the morning, the family enjoyed each other's company as they ate breakfast and enjoyed their gifts. Angela and Tony couldn't stop smiling at one another, Angela twirling the chain on her necklace, Tony twisting the band on his watch.
By the early evening, Tony had prepared another Christmas feast for the family. Mona left shortly after dinner to celebrate Christmas as she knew best, on a date with a local Santa. The family chose to watch another Christmas movie, Miracle on 34th Street. About half way through the movie, both Jonathan and Samantha fell asleep. Tony and Angela gently woke them up and helped them up the stairs. After making sure they made it upstairs okay, Tony and Angela cleaned up the living room and headed to the stairs. Before the both headed up, Angela stopped and turned to face Tony.
"This was the best Christmas Tony. Everything from the food to the company was perfect. I couldn't have imagined a better gift too- I can't thank you enough. I love it so much" she said as she leaned in for a kiss.
"I couldn't agree more Angela" Tony said as he embraced her, pulling her flush against him.
"No one has ever gotten me such a thoughtful, loving gift. I will cherish it forever" he said as he pushed away some strands of hair that had fallen across her face. His hands lingered on her face as he leaned forward and kissed her soft lips. The kiss wasn't as passionate or intense as their other shared kisses, but it was full of meaning, full of hope, full of love.
Pulling back from the kiss, they both smiled and released each other from their embrace. "I can't wait for New Years Eve" Angela said with a sultry voice an octave or two lower than normal as she walked up the stairs.
Tony's eyes widened and he audibly gulped. "You and me both Angela. You and me both…"