The two women's lips remained locked as Olivia carried Alex into the bedroom and gently laid her down on the bed. She instinctively understood that after three years apart she couldn't just crawl on top of Alex and take what she wanted the way she normally would have, so instead the brunette detective walked around to the other side of the bed and laid down beside Alex, pulling the blonde woman into her arms and gently rubbing Alex's belly to keep her calm as they continued to make out, getting more passionate by the second. But Alex was far from afraid as she too pulled Olivia close to her and leaned into the affection, savoring every morsel of Olivia's kiss as she raised her arms up above her head to give Olivia access to whatever she wanted, and Olivia took this as a good sign that she should take charge the way she always had. Alex felt Olivia's hand pop her jean-clad bottom and she smiled, recognizing the action as a 'good girl' spank. The blonde moaned in pleasure, shivering involuntarily as Olivia planted a trail of gentle kisses down her neck.
"Liv?" Alex panted.
"Hmm?" Olivia's mouth was currently occupied with Alex's nipple while Alex's hands were occupied with Olivia's inner thighs. Both women were now stripped down to only their panties.
"Can we take a shower?" Alex smiled up at Olivia with dreamy eyes. Olivia growled seductively; throughout their years together, she had done many, many delicious things to her pretty wife while they were in the shower.
Before long, Alex found herself pressed up against the shower wall receiving a 'good girl' spanking on her wet bottom while she moaned and squeaked in pleasure. Olivia felt Alex clench her bottom under her hand and she reached up to lightly tickle under Alex's arm, making Alex giggle which caused her to unclench her bottom. When the brunette detective was satisfied with the healthy red glow of Alex's bottom, Olivia pulled Alex's hips back into her own body and her fingers located Alex's special spot.
"Who does this belong to?" Olivia purred in Alex's ear, gently stroking up and down with expert skill.
"It's yours, Ma'am." Alex replied eagerly, again shivering involuntarily.
"Who gets to decide when you deserve a treat?"
"You do, Ma'am." Alex gasped.
"That's my good girl. I think you deserve a treat today, and we both know that good girls get something special after shower spankings. But not yet." Olivia withdrew her fingers and Alex groaned, making Olivia chuckle, "Soon, my love, I promise. But first, I get a treat." Olivia carefully guided Alex down to her knees.
Olivia's chocolate brown eyes sparkled in post-orgasmic bliss as she guided Alex to step out of the shower. The two women carefully dried themselves off and then, both still naked, Olivia guided Alex out to the bedroom.
"Get in position." Olivia pointed to the bed.
In a different context, those words would send a jolt of fear through Alex's body, but this time Alex's body tingled with excitement as she eagerly obeyed and crawled up on the bed to kneel on all fours, resting on her forearms with her knees spread apart. Olivia went to the closet and returned wearing a strap-on. Upon seeing Olivia approaching the bed wearing the phallus-shaped device, the excitement and delight that Alex had been feeling up to this point was suddenly gone and she was overwhelmed with a sense of dread and fear and her breath caught in her throat as Olivia climbed up behind her on the bed. Olivia coated the strap-on with a generous portion of lube and then began to carefully push into Alex's body. Alex froze in place as her breathing grew ragged. She tried to say the one word that she knew would stop everything, but her vocal chords didn't seem to want to function at that moment. She felt the first thrust inside of her, and then the second thrust, and then her mind went spinning out of control as she began to scream in fear, sobbing hysterically and begging some unseen person not to hurt her again. Startled, Olivia immediately pulled out of her and removed the strap-on from her body, tossing it aside before she rushed to comfort her distraught wife. She hadn't heard Alex use her safeword, but something was clearly very wrong.
"Hey, hey, hey. Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Come here, baby girl, I'm here. I'm right here. No one is going to hurt you, princess, you're safe. That's my good girl. Just breathe, angel, you're safe right here with me. Such a good girl." Olivia cooed as she gathered Alex into her arms to cuddle her, gently stroking Alex's hair and face. Both women were still fully naked and Olivia hoped that the skin to skin contact would help soothe Alex and snap her out of her panic.
"J-Jacob…" Alex sobbed, visibly trembling in Olivia's arms as her haunted eyes seemed to be staring at nothing, her mind trapped somewhere where Olivia couldn't reach her.
"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Just relax now, lovey. You can tell me anything you want to tell me, but only when you are calm. Just listen to my voice and stay with me. Here, try to make your heartbeat feel like mine. Good girl." Olivia placed Alex's hand over her own heart and then she placed her own hand on Alex's belly.
"Chocolate… chocolate… chocolate…" Alex began to babble her safeword over and over again.
"Yes, baby, chocolate. Good girl." Olivia praised, "I'm right here, just relax. As soon as you calm down we will go to the kitchen for a cup of tea and we will talk. Right now, just breathe and calm down."
It took several minutes, but finally Alex stopped screaming and started to calm down. Gradually, she became aware of the fact that she was being held in Olivia's arms and she felt Olivia's heartbeat underneath her own palm and Olivia's hand on her belly. She gazed about the room and realized that she wasn't back in her house in Wisconsin, she was in her apartment in New York. She then looked up into Olivia's loving, concerned eyes looking back at her.
"Livy…" Alex whimpered.
"Such a good girl. I'm here, sweetheart. I'm right here." Olivia assured her, and she guided Alex through several rounds of breathing exercises.
"Are you going to wash my mouth out with soap?" Alex asked with a trembling lower lip.
"Why would I do that?" Olivia asked, now confused by such a seemingly random question.
"I lied to you." Alex admitted. Olivia didn't have the first clue what Alex was talking about, but she decided that it wasn't the most important thing to focus on right at that moment. Right now the most important thing was getting Alex calm. They could talk about it in more detail over a cup of tea.
"Don't worry about that right now, princess. We will talk about it, and if we decide that something needs to be done we will take care of it at bedtime, but right now we just need to focus on getting you calmed down." Olivia told her.
When Olivia was satisfied that Alex was completely calm and wouldn't spiral into another panic attack, the two women dressed in their pajamas for the evening and then Olivia guided Alex to the kitchen for the cup of tea she had promised. Alex took a sip of tea and sighed as the soothing warmth filled her belly.
"Do you want to tell me who Jacob is, angel?" Olivia spoke kindly, reaching across the table to hold Alex's hand as she took a sip of her own cup of tea. Alex sighed again and paused for a moment to gather her courage before she began to speak, staring down into her cup.
"Jacob Davis. He… he was my co-worker at the insurance agency where I worked in Wisconsin." Alex spoke quietly.
"Were you friends?" Olivia inquired. She tried to catch Alex's eye, but Alex was still staring down and Olivia didn't try to force her to make eye contact with her.
"We were friendly at first." Alex nodded, "When I went into Witness Protection, I took on this whole new identity that Agent Hammond gave me, but I decided on my own that my new identity would be gay like I am, because I didn't want any guys hitting on me or asking me out. I guess Jacob took a liking to me and he kept asking me out, and I kept turning him down until I got sick of him pestering me and I told him I'm gay. After that…"
"Take your time, little one." Olivia soothed, squeezing Alex's hand.
"After that, he completely changed. He wasn't friendly anymore, he was hostile. Whenever I was around he would make homophobic comments about 'dykes' this and 'sin' that, and blah, blah, blah. He kept trying to tell me that I wasn't really gay, that I was too pretty to be gay and I just hadn't ever had a real man. He kept telling me that he could 'cure' me and I told him I wasn't interested in being 'cured', and he started leaving Bible tracts on my desk. He kept hounding me for weeks until I went to HR, but he was sleeping with someone in HR and they didn't do much, just told him to leave me alone unless he needed to discuss work with me, which just made him more angry. Then we had a three-day weekend over Easter and… can I have your lap?" Alex looked up with pain and fear in her eyes, her chest tightening. She felt like she might spiral out of control again and she needed Olivia's strong arms around her to keep her grounded.
"Absolutely." Olivia agreed. They abandoned their empty cups on the table and Olivia guided Alex out to the couch where she sat down and gently settled her blonde wife to cuddle on her lap, "I'm listening, baby love, whenever you're ready. Take your time, there's no hurry. It's just you and me here and there's nowhere we need to be. We can talk all night if you want."
"We had a three-day weekend over Easter, from Friday to Sunday." Alex continued to speak, her head resting on Olivia's chest, "Early on Friday morning, Jacob showed up at my door. I'm still not entirely sure how he knew my address, I guess maybe somebody in HR gave it to him. I wanted to be polite so I talked to him for a few minutes, but it was insanely early and I was tired and wanted to go back to sleep for a few hours. I tried to say goodbye and close the door, but he… he pushed his way in and locked the door behind him. He told me that he was going to cure me of my disgusting sin, because he was tired of waiting. I tried to get to my phone to call for help, but he took it away from me and broke it. He tried to kiss me and I slapped him across the face. He got angry and he picked me up and carried me to my room and tossed me down on the bed, and he… he got on top of me…" Alex's breath caught in her throat and she whimpered.
"How long did he stay?" Olivia's voice was gentle, although she could feel her blood boiling. She was going to kill Jacob Davis for laying his hands on her baby.
"All weekend." Alex choked out, "After he… after he finished the first time, he left me on the bed and walked out of my room. He didn't come back and I thought maybe he had let himself out, so I got up and got dressed. I was planning to get in my car and drive to the police station, but he was in my kitchen trying to find stuff to make coffee, as if nothing had happened. I couldn't get to the front door without walking past him and I was afraid of what he would do if I tried. The second time he… the second time he raped me was after breakfast the same day. That time, I tried to fight him off and he gave me a busted lip and he tied me up with duct tape. He just… over and over again… all weekend…"
"Baby, I'm so sorry he did that to you." Olivia spoke with genuine compassion, "You are so brave and strong. None of it is your fault. You did exactly the right thing, you survived."
"I tried so many times to get out of the house, but every time I tried he just hurt me even more and threatened to do worse next time. That's how I got the scar on my arm, I cut myself on broken glass while I was trying to get away from him. Each time he raped me he kept telling me to tell him I liked it or to tell him I loved him or to ask him for more, and I tried to use dirty talk as much as I could to pretend I was into it because I was afraid of what he would do. At night he slept in my bed with me, and I thought about trying to leave the house while he was sleeping, but I was afraid of what he would do if he woke up while I was trying to get out. On Sunday night while he was raping me for the last time, he told me that if I went to the police he would be back with friends. He told me that he wasn't doing anything illegal because he was curing me just the same as a doctor would cure a patient. On Monday morning, he got up and made breakfast, and after breakfast he told me that he would see me at work and he left. I was too afraid to go to the police, and I was too afraid to stay home from work because I was afraid he would come back, so I went to work. I used makeup to cover my bruises and my busted lip. When I went back to my office after my lunch break, there was a wrapped package on my desk. I opened it and it was a new cell phone with a note saying that he had a great weekend and he couldn't wait to go out with me and take me home to meet his mother. About a week later, he asked me out again, and I said yes because I was afraid of him. He took me out on four dates, but he never raped me again, he just took me out to dinner and a movie. After that, I got lucky and he was transferred to another company in Austin. He tried to convince me to go with him, but I made up an excuse about my mom being ill and needing to stay in Wisconsin to take care of her, and he said he understood that family comes first…. Liv, I didn't cheat on you, I swear I didn't. And I really did love everything we did today, it's just the strap-on at the end scared me." Alex looked up at Olivia, praying that she would believe her.
"I know you didn't cheat on me, baby girl. You didn't have sex, you were raped. And I'm glad you enjoyed what we did today, because I enjoyed it too. We will take things as slow as you need, and we will consider the strap-on a soft limit until further notice. Is the phone Jacob gave you the same phone you came home with?" Olivia inquired, her detective senses already tingling.
"No." Alex sniffled, "I didn't trust him, so I tossed out that phone and went out and bought another one, and for good measure I went back to HR and told them that I was having trouble with crank calls and they were under no circumstances allowed to give out my phone number or my address without my permission."
"I am so proud of you for talking to me about this, sweetheart." Olivia lovingly caressed Alex's face, "Tomorrow we are going to go to the precinct and talk to Cragen and my squad, and I promise Jacob Davis is going to pay for what he did to you. How long has it been since this happened?"
"About two years. It was during my first year in Witness Protection. In my case, it was rape in the third degree, which carries a five-year statute of limitations, so there are three years left before the statute of limitations runs out." Alex replied, and Olivia smiled. Alex may have worked at an insurance agency for three years, but in her bones she was still a lawyer. Alex sighed and looked up at Olivia to ask the same question she had asked earlier, "Are you going to wash my mouth out with soap?"
"I need more information, princess, why do you think I would do that?" Olivia inquired.
"On my first night home, I had a nightmare and I told you that I didn't remember it, but that was a lie. I dreamt about Jacob Davis, I just didn't want to tell you." Alex admitted, and waited for Olivia to pass down her sentence. She was too well trained to think that lying would go unpunished.