(This comedic fanfic is a Megaman ZX-themed parody of Yasuke Simulator as well as a tribute to it. It might not be exactly like the upcoming game as I'll be putting my own spin on this. Anyway, it'll be historically "accurate" with some (if not, all) of my OCs featured in it and the characters (both canon and OC) being OOC at times just for the fun of it. Whatever you see in this story, don't take it seriously as it's all just for fun!)
It was year 15XX and a European ship was cruising through the seas bearing the flag branded with the logo of Giro Express. The ship had left the continent of Afrisia (a mix of Africa and Asia) and was heading back to Japan to deliver a "package" to their client. The ship eventually reached the Land of the Rising Sun and the transporters, Vent and Aile, came out drawing the wheeled "package" to attach to the carriage to ride over to the castle of their daimyo client. There, they came face-to-face with a blonde-haired, blue-eyed white woman in a white kimono with pink shogun armor over it. Standing by her were a pair of green-armored samurais, one at each side. Vent greeted her, "Here's your slave, your excellency! A fresh, fit one!" The "package" was a cage holding a dark-skinned male slave with purplish-black hair and similarly colored eyes. His wrists were bound by handcuffs to prevent any attempted escapes and he was dressed only in his lion pelt loincloth.
The daimyo smiled at the job well done and praised, "Great job, you two! You brought a Blasian slave just like I ordered. He'll be useful to our operations."
Vent replied, "Enjoy your slave, miss!" It was a good thing he hired a rival tribe to capture the boy for only $1; he was quite a pain to get on their own. Then he turned to his girlfriend and said, "Come on, Aile. Let's go eat at a ramen shop."
The pony-tailed woman exclaimed, "Oh boy, am I hungry!" The couple walked together to leave as they held their arms around each other's waists.
The daimyo looked at her imported slave, eyeing his features like the bare 4-pack abs and the calculative seriousness in his slanty eyes and frown. He seems strong and insightful, very fitting of the tasks what she will have him do. One of the samurais asked his mistress in his stereotypical Japanese accent, "My rady, what shall we name srave?"
She answered, "I think I'll call him Sasuke." Yes, that was going to be his name, his slave name. Then she told her samurais, "Take him out of the cage and get him dressed."
"Yes daimyo!" the samurais obeyed. Then the men opened the cage and took Sasuke out. They removed the handcuffs and then outfitted him with dark navy kimono, gray hakuma pants, dark gray tabi socks with sandals, and black samurai armor complete with a helmet. The daimyo greeted her slave, "Hello Sasuke, I am Alouette Prairienaga, I am daimyo! You shall be my samurai."
"Really?" asked Sasuke, wondering what kind of crazy purpose she has for him in this role. Don't masters normally have their slaves pick cotton and other crap?
"Yes really," answered Prairienaga. "With the intelligence of an Asian and the badassery of a black man, you'll be a great warrior!" Then she told him his mission, "Sasuke, you will help me unify Japan and save the world." She pointed at the door past him and continued, "Go now to the streets. Fight your way up to Legion Castle controlled by the Thomas Clan."
Sasuke decided to play along with her little "game" for now as he was quite bored with his life. He said, "Alright, as you wish." Maybe he could develop some awesome fighting skills along the way.
Just before he could get past the door, one of the green samurais stopped him with a hand on his shoulder and said, "A moment, Sasuke. You'll want to rearn some skills over at training grounds first. They'll be useful in your mission to defeat Thomas Clan. Come with me." The slave went with the samurai over to the training grounds at the back of the castle. There, he found people in green shinobi outfits, all of whom were wearing white cat masks. They were standing up stiff and calm like they were awaiting and ready for the next order(s). The accompanying samurai said to Sasuke, "We, Guardians Clan, will oversee your training." He pointed to the wooden wall behind the others with a wide gap below it. "Now roll under walls and jump over fences."
Sasuke looked at the wall and thought, 'First exercise, huh? Might as well get started.' He did as the Guardian told and rolled and leaped through the obstacles. Then he came across another obstacle course with lots of wired fences, he crawled underneath all of them on his path. The next section was a bunch of box platforms atop of high pillars. Despite wearing heavy armor, Sasuke was able to hop from one box to the other to get to the other side. He agility truly befitted both halves of his race. Then he across of horde of daruma dolls on the ground. One of the Guardians warned him not to touch them as they were cursed. The slave found that out, not by accident or on purpose, when he just walked by really close to one without even touching, somehow, and it exploded. He was hurled from the blast and fell on his face. This baffled the poor boy as he thought through his pained expression, 'What? How?! I didn't feel it.'
A watching Guardian ordered sternly, "Get up, you are samurai. Act rike it!" Sasuke got up, gritting his teeth in both annoyance and in pain from his movement irritating the wound. He went past the other daruma dolls without any more trouble. The next area had a bunch of bicycles. Sasuke took one and rode it through the forest of bamboo. He sped up a ramp and flew over a couple of halfpipes, doing a triple flip halfway, before he landed on the other side. Prairienaga and her clan were impressed by this. The samurai continued to ride down the path with other ramps before reaching a set of stairs, where the bike slowed down and stopped at the upper part. Unable to ride up any further, Sasuke abandoned the bike and just ran the rest of the way on foot. Once he was out of the woods, he charged through a set of double doors with a loud yell like an angry rhino, busting down all of them. The poor daimyo was going to have to pay for repairments later, but what the hell. The last part of the training had Sasuke at a shooting range where he shot all of the moving targets with a handgun.
A female Guardian smiled at him and praised, "Very good, now step through the gat-" Suddenly, a loud crash was heard, alerting the samurais. She asked, "What was that?" They looked and saw some explosions bombarding the wooden gate. How it did not get destroyed in one hit was a mystery to Sasuke.
Prairienaga cried, "Sasuke! Thomas Clan are attacking our training grounds! They have no honor! Now is the time to fight!" The slave drew his pair of katanas and stared at the gate, preparing to engage his supposed enemies.
Then the gate broke down and standing there were a squad of galleons in white kimonos and gray hakamas. They all charged at the slave with the intent to kill. One of them shouted, "For the Thomas Clan!"
Sasuke squinted, ready to get dangerous. Once they got near, he unleashed his ferocity, swinging his swords with the anime-like swiftness and strength. The galleons fell down like butter to a knife. A shinobi fighting his own galleon foe on top of a roof told him, "Watch out! More are coming!"
Just like that, another squad of galleons came from the side where the broken-down doors were came rushing at him. "Foreigner!" they cried. They all ganged up on his with punches, giving the poor boy some bruises. With one powerful stroke of his sword all around, Sasuke was able to fell them and get them off.
After killing his opponent, the Guardian said, "The souls of enemies will help you open the gate! You will also have to destroy some Japanese things." Now that motivates Sasuke even more to kill the Thomas Clan goons. More and more galleons came and the samurai was able to slay them all.
Soon, an orange allosaur-like pseudoroid carrying a red sashimono with the legion symbol on his back appeared out of the same entrance the first enemy squad took. The Thomas general looked to Sasuke and said, "I am Pyrosaur the Dinoroid! The way of Bushido is written in blood. Yours will ink the next page."
"We'll see about that," the samurai challenged, holding up his swords in threatening manner. The two ran at each other with yells of their own. As soon as they were midway in distance, Pyrosaur's arm turned into a buster and Sasuke sensed something was about to happen. The dinoroid shot a stream of fire at the samurai, lighting him on fire. The boy cried out in pain before he got away and stopped, dropped and rolled to put out the fire. Pyrosaur fired a heatseeking missing from his back and it homed in on Sasuke, blasting him away across ground.
The boy groaned as he saw his foe approaching him. Close combat was not going to cut it this time, so it's time to bring a gun to a swordfight. He got up and switched his swords for his handgun. He shot a bullet to the groin area and Pyrosaur roared in pain as he clutched the wound between his legs. He cried, "Ouch! That was a cheap shot." Another bullet hit the head and the dinoroid fell over. Sasuke went over to finish him with a sword thrust down into the skull. With the general dead, all that was left to do now was vandalism. He went over to some Japanese things and destroyed them all. That was more repairments, or replacements, Prairienaga was going to have to pay for.
The daimyo came over to scene and commended, "Good work, Sasuke! You are now samurai. Bring the battle to them, it is time to take Legion Castle and destroy the Thomas Clan." The rest of the Guardians came, armed with weapons and ready to slay their enemies. Sasuke opened the gate and got into a red sedan. He drove out into the city closest to the Grand Nuage Castle. Prairienaga looked at all the damages done to her place & stuff and pinched the bridge of her nose, "My savings are going to take a huge hit."
Sasuke continued to drive down the road until he saw that the Thomas Clan has invaded the city and are attacking the civilians like the mavericks they are. The samurai could not stand such a sight. These may not be his people, but he did not like innocents to suffer. He stopped the car at the entrance of the city and got out fight the Thomas Clan. He cut down every galleon in his way as rap music played during combat. He even fired a bullet at one that was about to shoot some kid's scared dog. The kid and his pet cheered after being saved. Then a squad of galleons confront the samurai and said in a cheesy Asian accent, "You may wield a sword, but you'll never wield our honor!" They all ran at Sasuke, only to be butchered with ease.
The samurai went further down into the city where he came across a vendor called 'Grey's Taco Stand' ran by a scarred silver-haired boy who was racially ambiguous. Because the author does not know what race he is, we will just say he is Latino, just to check off the diversity list to make up for the lack of quality in a story that badly needs it. As Grey was waiting for a customer to come and buy one of his tacos, he coughed on them. Sasuke shook his head disapprovingly; this was a health violation and the boy needed to pay dearly for this. He swung his swords at the taco stand, destroying it along with the tacos. Grey sent a glare at him and yelled, "What the hell?! Why'd you do that?!"
Sasuke said to him nonchalantly, "Because your tacos are diseased and you're a bad businessman."
"What did you say?!" the taco seller yelled.
Then a pony-tailed haired girl came over and yelled, "Hey jerk, you can't just go and destroy our business!"
Grey agreed, "You tell him, Ashe!"
Sasuke said, "Actually, I can as Lady Prairienaga's samurai." Then he called, "Guardians!" The green shinobi suddenly appeared like ninjas do in anime. "These two were selling contaminated tacos. Take them out of here!"
The Guardians grabbed the two teenagers and said, "You're under arrest!"
"NOOOO!" Grey and Ashe cried before they were warped out of here to be put in jail. From then on, Sasuke continued to wipe out all the Thomas Clan goons off the streets until there was none left.
A Guardian samurai came over to him and alerted, "Quickry, the Thoman Cran has sent assassin over to kill Rary Prairienaga. Come to castle and save our daimyo!"
"I'm on it!" Sasuke replied. Then he went back into the car and drove back to Grand Nuage Castle.
In the daimyo's room, the samurai bodyguards were lying dead on the floor with kunais stuck in their wounds. Prairienaga stared down at the deadly assassin before her, keeping a stern poker face to hide to scream like a hysterically frightened woman and beg desperately for mercy while crying. The purple assassin with the red eyes held up a kunai knife, ready to throw it at her. He said in a robotic tone, "ENEMY ANNIHILATED! PROCEED TO COMMENCE ASSASSINATION." Just as he was about to throw the thing, a bullet shot it out of his hand.
Sasuke blew the smoke out of his handgun's muzzle. Prairienaga smiled, "Sasuke, you came!"
The assassin turned to the samurai and said, "ENEMY DETECTED… COMMENCE COMBAT…" Sasuke fired a bullet at him, which the ninja dodged by vanishing quickly. The slave wondered where he went until he got struck on the shoulder with a kunai.
Prairienaga warned, "That's Siarnaq, the Thomas Clan's best assassin. Be careful!" The samurai fired another bullet, which the ninja evaded, too. Siarnaq reappeared behind his foe about to throw another kunai, but Sasuke sensed his presence this time and swiftly turned around to cut him with his katana. Siarnaq stumbled back in pain before he threw 2 giant shurikens. Sasuke gasped before he threw himself away from the oncoming ninja stars. The shurikens deflected off the walls again and again as the samurai dodged them whenever they came too close.
One Guardian ninja who came in to help was unlucky though. She said, "Lady Prairienaga, I heard assassin has come to kill you. I'm here to help!" One of the shurikens cut across her outfit and dropped the bottom half of it, revealing her panties. The shinobi screamed in embarrassment and went back out the door to hide her shame. The fight proceeded as normal without any more crazy interruptions.
Siarnaq leapt high up onto the ceiling and used his claw to stick into it and hang as he threw more kunais at the samurai. Sasuke parried each and every one of them to the last. Then he took up one of them off the ground and threw it back at the assassin's heart, giving him a taste of his own medicine. The ninja dropped to the floor and groaned in pain before coughing blood. He said his dying breath, "MISSION FAILED… SHAME RECIEVED… COMMENCE SUICIDE…" He took out his tanto and plunged it into his abdomen to end his suffering from the shame of his defeat.
Prairienaga praised, "Well done, Sasuke! You have saved my life and saved my city." Sasuke bowed to her, glad to have done some good deeds. "All this havoc today is why we need to destroy the Thomas Clan. Go out and defeat them!" The samurai nodded and left the castle to go on a journey to defeat and conquer the bad guys once and for all.
Sasuke drove through the forest until a shadowy figure behind the bushes rolled a daruma doll onto the road and the car ran right into it. The doll exploded upon impact and destroyed the car, sending the samurai flying out of it and hitting the ground. Then galleon samurais came out to ambush him, this time with swords of their own. They went on the attack, but like always, Sasuke defeated them easily. He left the massacre scene of decapitated heads and severed arms as he ventured deeper into the woods and soon got to a slope.
Suddenly, a fly-like pseudoroid in a shinobi outfit dropped down and said, "I, Stormfly, won't let you get past here!" With a high-pitched warcry, he unloaded an avalanche of daruma dolls rolling down to the samurai. Sasuke stopped, remembering how painful these things were, and turned around to get away from these awful abominations. But unfortunately, the darumas were rather quick and they all bombarded the poor boy with their explosive bodies. Sasuke laid down on the ground, hurt all around. The dipteroid landed beside and boasted, "Ha ha, I defeated that Blasian nemesis! The Guardian Clan is now no match for the Thomas Clan!" He did a little Elvis dance with disco music playing in the background. Then to rub salt on the wound, he squats down and shook his booty two inches above Sasuke's face. "Eat it, you gaijin nobody!" Sasuke woke up to see the dipteroid mooning him. He got mad at that. As Stormfly continued to twerk, he felt a katana plunged deep into his ass. "Yeouch!" he cried as he cartoonishly jumped high into the air and fell down somewhere past the slope. The samurai got up and ran up the slope to go find his newest enemy. Stormfly fell face-flat on the ground next to a cherry blossom tree. He got up and scowled, "That hurt, you twat! Take this!" He pulled the katana out of his butt and threw it at Sasuke, who dodged it.
Sasuke went to pick up his sword and then switched it for his gun. He fired a few bullets at the dipteroid, who shielded himself with his arm as he screamed. Stormfly countered with a storm cloud he released from his buggy behind and it quickly floated over to the samurai, engulfing him in its dark and very moisty aerosol. Lightning bolts started zapping around inside. Stormfly was smugly sure that his human foe was getting electrocuted in his thunderstorm. The lightnings stopped zapping and the dipteroid was content that the samurai was dead. But then, Sasuke leapt out of the cloud and came down a yell and the slash of his katana on the Thomas Clan general. Stormfly staggered back a bit before he got angry and came at Sasuke with a punch to the face. The two traded blows with Sasuke cutting at him with his katanas and Stormfly punching and kicking. Then the dipteroid backed away and flapped his wings very fast to create a gust of powerful winds that blew the samurai into the sakura tree. Sasuke hit one branch of the tree before he fell onto another. Then his enemy clapped his hands together to emit a visible shockwave that cut down the very branch he was on. The landing hurt Sasuke.
Then the dipteroid jeered, "Enjoy your last moments, loser! Because this will be an electrifying experience!" He sprayed out two more storm clouds into the air and they started moving towards the samurai. The alarmed Sasuke quickly got up and ran as the pursuing thunderclouds tried to zap down lightnings onto him, missing each time he dodged. To add to the samurai's problems, Stormfly clapped shockwave after shockwave at him, hoping that in the midst of keeping eyes watch for the attacks on all sides that he would end up fumbling and getting killed. Eventually, Sasuke did as a shockwave hit his leg and made him trip. One of the flying storm clouds zapped him and he screamed loudly in pain before he went silent with eyes closed, not moving anymore. Stormfly was filled with triumph and glee as he celebrated, "Yes! I defeated that punkass foreigner from the Guardians Clan! Whoo!" He pumped two fists into the air. Then he went to beat the body, first with a punt. "Take this, you jackass!" After the body was kicked over onto its back, the dipteroid jumped down on him with two feet stomping on the abdomen. "And this!" Then he took out a marker and drew on the face to make it look silly, complete with a beard, pimples, googly eyes, and a crudely-drawn dick on the forehead with the insult 'Dick' below it. "And a little of this." Then he yeeted the body into the bushes, "And this!" He turned to the ocean next to the land and boasted, "I am the greatest! I have brought honor to the Thomas Clan!" Then he danced, "Go Stormfly, you're coolest! You're amazing! Ah! Ah!"
Unbeknownst to him, a Guardian ninja came over to Sasuke and gave him a 1-up panel, restoring him to life. Then the ninja ran away quietly. The samurai woke up with a vengeance. He stood up and glared at the dancing buffoon.
Stormfly turned around and stopped dancing once he saw the menacing look on the samurai's face. He got astonished and cried, "No! I thought… How?" Sasuke came at him and swiftly swung his katanas at him, severing his limbs and wings. Then after he severed the dipteroid's head, he threw it at the tree and fired a bullet right between the bug eyes.
The head exploded and a pink cherry blossom petal, which got separated by the bullet after flying out of the head, floated down softly with grace to the ocean. The petal landed on top of the water, floating smoothly along with the gentle waves. It was a beautiful sight to anyone who would see this. But someone else on the other hand would disagree. "Nooooooo!" came the shout of a horrified boy. Sasuke looked for the speaker and saw an angry blue-haired boy in a blue kimono running towards him. The young teen yelled, "You monster, how dare you pollute the ocean with tree petal! For that, you must die!" He took out his naginata and charged at Sasuke with it as he yelled, "Yahhh!"
The samurai blocked the first hit before he evaded every thrust and swing the blue boy threw at him. He tried to counter with some swings of his own, but the bluenette dodged him in return. They kept attacking each other all while dodging each other's moves. Eventually, the blue boy backflipped away and summoned 2 icy dragons to fly at him. Sasuke whipped out his handgun and shot at the dragons. The bullets sank into the ice hide while others made dents, but the icy dragons were unfazed. The samurai resorted to moving out of their way and letting them pass by. But then the dragons made a U-turn and continued to home in on him. The blue boy cast a magic spell to summon a chunk of ice before he smashed it with his naginata, creating ice spears that flew at his enemy. Sasuke got struck by one of them and let out a pained cry. Then the dragons clamped their jaws onto his arms, sending intense coldness into the flesh and bone. With his foe held in place, the blue boy was sure he could make the killing stab. He charged at the samurai with the naginata aimed for the abdomen.
Sasuke felt the dragons' hold on him weakening as he saw water droplets dripping off their icy scales. They were melting underneath the hot sun. Taking advantage of this moment, Sasuke took the dragons off and threw them away. He barely dodged the stab that the blue boy was trying to give him. "Take this!" the bluenette cried as he swung his magically-charged naginata and sent a triangular slash energy at him. The samurai was hit by that and he was sent hurling back into the bushes. Sasuke clutched his bleeding cut with a groan before he noticed something next to him. It was a grenade launcher, just what he needs right now. He took the thing, aimed it at his foe, and fired a grenade at him. The explosion sent the blue boy flying far across the air as he screamed. He fell onto a factory and crashed through a giant chemical storage, spilling lots of its poisonous wastes into the ocean next to it and killing lots of fish and dolphins in it. This could've all been avoided if a certain soyboy did not lose his shit over a goddamn flower petal.
Sasuke took a moment to breath now that the threat was over. Then a Guardian shinobi came over and said in stereotypical Japanese accent, "Well done, Sasuke! You only defeat one Thomas Cran general, but two, incruding that fag, Thetis. Thomas Cran city is up ahead. Go ahead and take it for Guardians Cran." The samurai ran on ahead through the woods until he got to the Thomas Clan's city.
There, Sasuke saw a lot of galleons patrolling the streets for any enemy that might be lurking about. There were too many of them to take on all at once. He would have to get creative. The samurai came across a convertible in a wooden garage and carjacked it, driving it away into the city streets. A purple-haired woman named Spice came out of her house and yelled, "What the fuck?!" With a shaking fist in the air, she continued, "Get back here with my car, you asshole!"
The samurai sped towards the galleons. They drew out their katanas as one said, "Our clan fights as one!" They never got the chance to attack as they were all ran over by the vehicle.
Sasuke drove into the next section of the city, which was mixed with both galleons and civilians alike. The mission objectives, which consisted of words over the background, said that he must kill the people here and destroy Japanese things to open the gate to the next city section. Sasuke felt pity for the innocents and knew that it would suck for them, but he's got to do what he's got to do. So he aimed for all the people and things he saw, hitting and driving over them. The galleons attempted to fight, only to get defeated easily, while the humans all screamed and ran as they were getting killed. One guy with sad puppy dog eyes held up a sign that begged, 'Stop Asian hate!' as violin music played in the background. But he became another victim of hit-and-run. Even a red dog got trampled and then Star, a blue-haired boy with glasses, came over and bawled his eyes out, "No, Dawn! My bastard puppy of Clifford the big red dog that I got from a badly-run puppy mill is dead! Now who's going to chase cats, tear them apart and eat them?" Bowls with ramen, sushi, folding fans, amagatsus, maneki-nekos, mangas, dakimuras, animes, and all other Japanese things were destroyed. With enough damage and massacre, the gate opened and Sasuke drove into the next area.
There, he encountered Chillynx, an angry blue catroid with a white sashimono. She ranted, "Stop! It's bad enough you foreigners like Johnny Somali come here and insult our people. But now you've crossed the line with your driving over galleons and our cultural things! For that, it's public execution time!" Then she looked above to the roof of a building and called, "Rooftop Koreans, attack!"
Then Korean galleons came up from behind the roofs and aimed their rifles at Sasuke. One of them said to the samurai in Vietnamese, "The Thomas are unbreakable!" Then they all started shooting at him. Sasuke got hit by the bullets and got out of the car to flee the shootout. He then saw a spinning machine rifle hovering over a ring of concrete bricks and smirked, knowing he can turn this around. He took the weapon and started firing lots of rounds at all the rooftop Koreans above. The galleons dropped like flies. Then he fired at the pseudoroid, making Swiss cheese out of her as she screamed until death. The samurai got back to the car and drove further down the streets until they ended at a set of stairs.
Sasuke got out and went up the long stony case of stairs. They ended at the Shinto shrine up top, but something was off about it. It was green! Everything was green, including the torii gate before it. The samurai did not like this, so he smashed and cut down the heathen shrine. Suddenly, dark clouds appeared in the sky and flashed lightning among them with thunders heard. A bolt shot to the ground and in its place was a thunder god with light green hair in a lime green kariginu with red prayer beads and taiko drums circled behind him. He was riding a cloud and giving the samurai a disapproving look. He scolded, "Ignorant fool! You have destroyed the sacred shrine of the Thomas Clan's god, my shrine." He emphasized the last part with scowling eyes.
Sasuke retorted nonchalantly, "Well your shrine is boring and bland. Also, a thunder god does not dress like this." He pointed to the god's clothes.
The unamused god said, "Silence! You will have my divine retribution for your blasphemy. You will remember the name, Aeolus, as you burn in the depths of Hell!" Then he summoned a horizontal tornado that blew the samurai back into a tree hard. The boy was dazed momentarily before he saw Aeolus flying at him with twin katanas ready to slash. Sasuke blocked the cuts with his own swords as he was being driven back by the ever-nearing god. Eventually, he left an opening and Aeolus took advantage of that with an upward slash across the torso that also cut the chin. Then the god slashed at him three more times before he emitted a sonic boom that blasted the samurai away across ground.
Sasuke gritted his teeth and groaned as he felt the searing pain from all his cuts. He saw the god summoning heavy winds to himself and knew a large tornado was about to show up and become his finishing move. But then Sasuke realized something, so he asked, "So you're a god, right?"
Aeolus frowned at the idiot question, "I just said so, you fool!" Then Sasuke went on a long explanation as to why gods don't exist as he pointed out all the illogicalness and hypocrisy of how they act and treat humans, and all the inconsistencies with science. Aeolus realized he could not find a smart argument to that and cried in defeat, "Noooooooo!" He gradually vanished into nothingness. With the god made non-existent like he should be, Sasuke went on his way to the Thomas Clan's palace, where Legion Castle was.
Sasuke made it to the gates of the palace, which was all Chinese in all its structures and decorated with lots and lots of dragons, and broke down the double doors with his hard dash. He found a platoon of tanks all aiming their guns at the lone samurai. A bicolor-haired woman, who was the leader of this squad, was in the front-center tank. She wore red-orange samurai armor, including a horned helmet and a black demon mask. She yelled, "This is as far as you go! You won't get past the likes of Atlas's tank division." Then she ordered her troops, "Men, fire at this nip-nigger!" So she and the galleons shoot their projectiles at Sasuke. The blasts did heavy hits to him and the last thing the boy saw was darkness.
A while later, Sasuke woke up with a headache and found himself in a forest. Near him was the daimyo herself, Prairienaga. She said, "Looks like the Thomas Clan finally has you beaten." The slave looked down in shame for failing his master. But Prairienaga assured, "Fear not, Sasuke, for I have something that will help you." She pointed to a giant robot next to her. "Ride it and you'll defeat their tanks easily." Sasuke smiled, glad that he would have something to kick ass and obliterate with. He boarded the giant robot and piloted it over to the Thomas Clan's home.
Back at the palace, the tank division sensed an enemy presence drawing near. Atlas scoffed to it, "Come back for more, huh? Okay, we can do this over and over again until you drop dead." But then, they saw it was a giant robot stomping over towards them. It was like a towering giant over a pack of rats. The Thomas Clan was unnerved as Atlas cursed, "Oh shit…" No way were they going to defeat their greatest foe like this. But the general was not about to turn tail and run. She told her troops, "Tank division, assemble!" Then all the tanks came together to form a giant orange robot with gold horns and a pair of knuckle busters. Did I mention that all the tanks came in 3 different colors? Some were orange, some were white and the other were black. That's why the robot was mixed with these colors.
The two robots begin to fight each other, trading punches and kicks. Eventually, Sasuke found button for beam attacks and pushed it to fire a laser beam that blasted his opponent back. Atlas's robot staggered back for a moment before she countered with a round energy shot that flew at her enemy. Sasuke had his robot shield itself with its arms, but unfortunately, the heat ball made a sharp downward turn before zooming forward again and then rose upwards right into Sasuke's robot's crotch. The machine clutched its groin area in pain as the samurai felt the sudden swing forward when his ride tilted a bit forward, startling him from the force nearly shaking him. Atlas's robot then charged forward with one of its busters raised and then delivered a hard punch to its foe. Sasuke's robot was knocked down to the ground and then the orange robot sat on top of it before started it started delivering punching down over and over again with its busters.
Sasuke was shaken by the rough impact of his ride being attack as alarms went off with red lights flashing. He needed to do something quickly before he gets destroyed. He pushed every button and lever on the control panel. That was when his robot blasted an energy aura that sent the orange one off of him. Then his robot delivered rapid punches at its enemy before warping to the other side and kicking it in the back. Atlas's robot was sent flying across before Sasuke's appear in front of it delivered an uppercut to the chin, sending the enemy into the air. Then it reappeared again high above and grabbed the orange robot before throwing it down to the ground. Atlas and the galleons all screamed as they feel their ride falling. Then the orange robot exploded upon hitting the ground. Sasuke's robot descended slowly back to land using the thrusters underneath the feet to soften the fall. Once landing safely, the samurai got out of the robot and went into the Legion Castle.
In there, he was immediately confronted with a line of galleons ready to defend their castle and home. One of them said, "Show me your resolve or die!" They charged at him, but you guessed it! They were all cut down. Sasuke went up to the next floor where more galleons were behind barracks and were throwing daruma dolls at him. The samurai dodged them all and shot his enemies with his handgun. Moving on to the next floors, he encountered all kind of traps and obstacles. One floor had shurikens flying out of the walls and across the room, which Sasuke had to crawl under to avoid them. Another floor had an abyss (don't ask me how that's possible) with platforms to get across, but daruma doll were falling from the ceiling in between the platforms and there were a few galleons to fight. The samurai managed to get through that as well.
The last trap floor had a giant daruma doll that took up nearly the whole room, leaving very little areas to get buy. Sasuke tensed uneasily, knowing this was going to be a life-or-death moment. He needed to be very careful here and get around the thing without any part of him touching this bomb. The samurai crouched down and crawled through the small openings that were sidelined to the bottom of the walls and corners slowly and carefully. His foot almost touched the big red round doll; but luckily, he pulled it away. After safely making it to the other side, Sasuke got back up and walked as normal, but then he heard galleons ahead upstairs, "You are not samurai!"
"Urk!" grunted the boy before he got back down to the base of the stairs and pressed himself up against the wall to let the galleons pass by without them seeing him. Then he proceeded back up the stairs. The galleons ran into the giant daruma doll and then… BOOM! The galleons were lying across the room all dead… and also wet, because ironically, the daruma was actually a water balloon and the water destroyed their circuits and systems.
Sasuke made it all the way to the final floor where he came face to face with the head of the Thomas Clan, Master Thomas. By his side was a silver cheetah-like pseudoroid in a dark gray kimono. The red-bearded man said, "You've done well to come this far, warrior of the Guardians Clan. But your quest ends here and now." He turned to his bodyguard and told him, "Quicksilver, eliminate him!"
The cheetaroid brought his claw up and obliged, "It'll be my pleasure! I'll make sure this foreigner dies and avenge my comrades." He lunged at Sasuke with a speed too fast for the boy to react to and slash him across the chest. Sasuke was pushed back by the harsh impact as his feet skidded across the floor. He held his bleeding chest with closed eyes before he reopened them to see Quicksilver already in front of him and delivering another sharp swipe. The impact not only cuts the samurai, but also knocks him down away over the floor. Sasuke struggled to get up as he groaned in pain, but then the cheetaroid came at him with another attack. Luckily, the samurai was able to block him with his katana. But then Quicksilver kicks him hard away. Sasuke was winded and then he gets clawed again and again repeatedly until he was thrown into a wall. The samurai knew that his foe's speed was making it impossible for him to win. That is until he saw a LEGO brick right by him on the table. He took it and slid it across the floor in front of him at the oncoming pseudoroid. Just like that, Quicksilver's foot stepped on the thing and he made a high-pitched loud yowl in pain as he grabbed his hurting foot with two hands. "No, my one weakness! It hurts!" He exploded in death.
Master Thomas was unfazed by his killed bodyguard as he says, "So you've killed the last general as well. I see you fight really hard for the Guardians Clan. But let me tell you something. Is this wretched world really worth saving?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow at him, wondering what he was getting at. The tall, muscular daimyo ranted deeply and slowly at first, "Wars, murders, greed, abuses, perversions, and McDonalds. All of these are serious detriments to this planet!" With a louder and firm tone, he continued with a clenched fist, "This world needs to be reset, all of humanity wiped out, and I'll do everything in my power to-"
Sasuke was already getting disinterested in the man's speech, so he took out his katanas and got into fighting stance as he said, "Your speech is boring. Let's just get this over with already."
Thomas replied, "Very well, I expect nothing less from one such as you." He summoned his ride armor with the click of the button from the remote on his hand. The hatch on the floor opened and a humanoid mech rose up from the bottom to meet its rider. The daimyo got into it and grabbed the handles before a glass cockpit shielded him. Then he finished, "Have at you!"
The ride armor dashed at the samurai, who jumped out of the way of its floor-smashing punch. Sasuke countered with a slash, but it did not do too much damage. Thomas had the ride armor swing its arm at the boy, knocking him hard into the wall. The ride armor dashed over and jumped down with a punch that Sasuke rolled to the side away from. The ride armor continued to come at him with punch after punch as the samurai did his best to avoid each other. Sasuke switched his katanas for his hand guy, but the bullet he fired was also of little effect. He wondered how he was going to defeat this tough hulk with its very tough hide. That was when he spotted a tiny gem below its chest. Sasuke thought it was probably a weak point, so he shot at it. His hunch was right as the ride armor stagged back like it was in pain.
Thomas growled in frustration at this before he quickly calmed down and said, "Very good shot, little man. But can you handle this?" He pushed the button on another remote and then a much larger ride armor appeared from the bottom with dust clouds appearing momentarily. His ride armor boarded the cockpit of the bigger one and activated it to engage in battle. Yes, a ride armor is piloting a ride armor. This time, the bigger ride armor was equipped with a gatling gun. "Now die!" He fired the gun at the samurai who tried to run out of the way of the volley of bullets. But eventually, the bullets caught up to him and Sasuke was shot down in a pool of his own blood.
As he laid there dying, the image of the Guardian shinobi from the training grounds appeared in his mind as he said, "Get up, you are samurai. Act rike it!" The words "act rike it" echoed in the boy's mind as he looked up at the hallucination of the ninja. The shinobi gradually faded and in his place was a floating Model Pr biometal. Hey, it's not a Megaman ZX fanfic unless there's a biometal in there. Sasuke slowly reached out for the object of power with all the remaining strength he had, but then Thomas shot him again and he was dead!
With the only hero to save the world dead, the Thomas Clan defeated the Guardians Clan and then carried out their plans to reset the world, starting a new big bang and then turning the world into a place where weed, weed, more weed, lots of weed, and only weed exists. Master Thomas was very happy and he got high for all eternity. The end!
Oh wait, that didn't happen. Here's what really happened! Sasuke grabbed ahold of the biometal and murmured, "Mega…merge…" Then a flash happened and the samurai was redressed in a red helmet with shades, gray body, red gauntlets, red belt, red boots, and a yellow scarf. He was also armed with a shield. Sasuke felt his life and strength return to him as he was now in a stronger form.
Thomas noticed that his enemy was now a megaman, but… "This changes nothing," he said as he was sure he can still destroy the boy. He fired the gatling gun, but Sasuke blocked the volley with his shield. Then the daimyo fired a few big energy balls, but the megaman hopped out of the way of each shot. Then he fired his buster at the gatling gun and destroyed it with a giant plasma shot. Thomas retaliated by launching the thrusters to make the ride armor dash at the boy before swinging the foot for a kick. But Sasuke dodged that one, too. Then the megaman fired more shots at the armor, which actually did damage this time. The daimyo felt the impact of his ride taking damage as he could feel the cockpit shaking. Smoke came out of the ride armor's wounds and Sasuke fired at it one last time, destroying it. The giant ride armor exploded and the smaller one was forcibly launched out as it was hurled up into the air. The megaman shot that one too and it exploded, leaving Thomas to fly out and crash through the wall. The daimyo started falling all the way down as he screamed, "Nooooooo!" But then he saw a pile of hay below him. His life was going to saved. The hay would cushion him, allowing him to survive and then he would retry his plans to reset the world, even back from square 1. But that did not happen as he hit the ground hard beneath the hay and died of broken bones like you were supposed to, Assassin's Creed!
Sasuke relaxed with a sigh; his mission was finally accomplished. The boy de-megamerged and went all the way back to the Grand Nuage Castle to report his success to his master. Prairienaga was very pleased, "Excellent work, Sasuke! You defeated the Thomas Clan and saved the world. I would like to make you a part of my clan. Now with one clan down and their lands ours, we can take on the rest of Japan." So Sasuke helped the Guardians Clan eliminate the other warring clans in Japan such as the Serpent Clan and the Albert Clan. Eventually, all of Japan was united under the Guardians Clan. Prairienaga, who was now an empress, rewarded her top samurai, "Sasuke, for all of your services, I would to free you from your slavery and make you a noble. You will get your own lands, a castle, and some bitches!"
Then two black girls magically appeared, each one on the side of the samurai. The older darker one fawned over the boy and said in a sultry voice, "Oh my, what a handsome boy you are!" Then she looked to her sister and continued, "Wouldn't you say, Haylie?"
The younger lighter one replied, "Well he's alright, but why am I paired with him in this fanfic? He's your guy, Lisa." Sasuke took his hoes to his castle and had some romantic fun there. No, I don't mean sex as they're all too young for that. It's just make-out sessions and whatever other fluffy shit they do. They all lived happily ever after. The end!
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up!" cried Matt in disbelief. "Is this really all true?"
Bruno, the reader of the biography book he was holding, confirmed, "Uh yep."
The blonde boy reploid questioned, "But then what's with all the modern and futuristic stuff in Ancient Japan? Why were there non-Japanese people there? Why did Japan have Chinese things there? And wasn't Sasuke supposed to be a retainer and not a samurai?"
His human father explained, "Look, the author just wanted to have some crazy fun with this. So she just put lots of random crap in there for the sake of her own illogical amusement."
Matt asked, "By basing this off of Thomas Lockley. That guy's a lunatic and a fraud!"
Bruno said, "Look, I understand your grievances, but let's just roll with this for now and enjoy the story for what it is. Okay?"
Matt sighed, "Well, okay then."
Outside the room behind the closed door stood a bitter rabbit pseudoroid. He murmured, "Disdainful! The history had some of my comrades, but I wasn't in any of them! I am a samurai, I wield a katana, and I serve Master Thomas. But no, the author did not include me in any part of this." He drew out his blade and continued, "Well then, I shall make her pay!" He walked down the hallway carrying his katana as he said, "Here I come, Red Dragonette. You will rue the day you neglected me, Bunnin the Rabbitroid, in that fanfiction of yours." He let out an evil laugh as he walked down the stairs, completely forgetting about the biometals he was supposed to take back from the father and son.
Note: Now I was originally going to do simple trainings in sword and agility. But because the demo came out, I decided to include that in the story instead of that. I did keep it short until the battle to save room for original funny stuff though. Also, I was going to add more to some of the battles, but due to time constraint, I had to keep them short. Hey, this is a low-quality fanfic after all. I hope you all enjoyed my little "history lesson!" Also, this won't be uploaded on Buzzly Art as apparently, they don't want even the smallest form of racist jokes there. Oh well, their loss if they don't want a little laugh.
Sasuke, Spice, Dawn, Star, Lisa, Haylie, Matt, Bruno, Pyrosaur the Dinoroid, Stormfly the Dipteroid, Chillynx the Catroid, Quicksilver the Cheetaroid and Bunnin the Rabbitroid © me
Clifford the Big Red Dog © Scholastic