AN : / Hello to you dear readers. First of all thank you for all the feedback, negative or positive. It's really important for me yo know what you're thinking. Callie's hard and irritating behaviour will be explained soon. I hope you will stick with Jax and I that long to know why she's acting that way.
...
« Well, that was a little rough... » Penny said as she joined her girlfriend on the couch.
« What are you talking about? » Callie asked, putting her phone in her purse.
« Callie, what's wrong? I heard your talk with Arizona. I don't get it, » Penny said. « You've told me so many times how great a mother she is, and since the courtroom, you have done nothing to make things easy for her. »
« Oh, so you, my girlfriend, are taking my ex-wife side? » Callie laughed sarcastically
« I'm not taking any side Callie; I just don't understand why you are so hard on her. It's Christmas, she should talk to her daughter. Imagine if the situation was reversed. She's only seen Sofia one weekend in almost 4 months. It must be hard for her, especially today. »
« I won sole custody. I'm sure she'd have played dirtier if she'd had won. » Callie said, still really pissed. « She always blames me for everything wrong in her life, it was a judge who gave me sole custody. And I don't know why you are even talking about her rights now. Or maybe you don't want Sofia here? »
Penny sighed sadly. Callie was on the defensive and she had only seen her so on edge only when she had something big bothering her.
« You know that's not true, but I don't know what's wrong with you. If you have something against your ex, I can understand you'd want her to feel bad, or whatever. But before I won the grant and you decided to come to New York with me, everything had been so tense and complicated. I get the custody thing has left some issues between you two. But You won, and it seems she's accepted the situation. She didn't come after you right? So why aren't you being nice to her? You won Callie; can't you be the bigger person? Or Am I missing something? »
« You know what? You obviously are missing something. I don't want to talk about it with you. Okay? » Callie protested. « I don't want my daughter to be upset today, so this conversation is over. She talks to her everyday anyway. And she will be here next month. Is that okay with you? »
Callie stood up and walked away from her girlfriend. This behaviour from the brunette was new to Penny. Callie's actions made no sense, what was bothering her? Clearly Callie wasn't going to talk about it, and it made the younger woman feel left out, why wouldn't she talk to her about whatever problems she was having, they were supposed to be there for each other.
…...
Back to present time
Arizona's second weekend to New York had been a blessing at the end of January. The blonde surgeon had taken time to fly in and had an amazing time with her daughter.
They had managed to do an incredible number of things in less than 48 hours.
The goodbyes were emotional for sure, but mother and daughter knew when they would see each other again.
With Callie's approval, Sofia would go to spend one week in Seattle around Easter and her Grandparents would come in February for a visit.
Things were apparently easier with her ex-wife, even if she still had to call her lawyer.
They hadn't exchanged any words since Christmas morning. And Callie was not home when Arizona had brought their daughter back on the Sunday night.
To tell the truth, Callie was not really Arizona's concern as she came back to Seattle.
The fetal surgeon knew something was going on. Like the first time she got pregnant, her breasts were heavy. It was not something she was used to feeling.
Her period was late also...
They were the first signs she thought her crazy idea to make a baby on her own had worked.
And now, a few days later, it was all confirmed. A baby was growing inside her.
Arizona was a little apprehensive, she was looking back to the time she and Callie tried to have a baby after the plane crash, and they were successful on the second try. As doctors, they knew it would probably take a few times to fall, so when it worked, they were ecstatic.
But then, Arizona miscarried, and everything spiralled out of control after that.
Thinking about that time, Arizona raised her scrub top and placed her hand on her flat stomach.
She looked in the mirror and noticed she had lost weight again which in her situation wasn't healthy.
She couldn't help but to think about the day Callie found out the first time and fell to her knees, kissing her belly with that incredibly big smile on her face.
It was one of the sweetest memories she would remember about that pregnancy.
After the miscarriage, it became a taboo subject between them, Arizona would immediately burst into tears, and Callie would become angry, thinking her wife at the time didn't want to try for another baby. She would hold that grudge toward Arizona until the end of their wedding.
This time, she would do her first ultrasound on her own.
She was in her seventh week, so the foetus would be barely visible on the screen, but what Arizona needed right now was a heartbeat.
When Callie was expecting Sofia, it was the moment she heard it that she knew she was a mother.
The second time, when she was carrying, the heartbeat wasn't there, and it had been a devastating end.
She settled on the bed in the dark room and put some gel on her bare stomach. She grabbed the ultrasound machine and pulled it towards the bed. She took the wand, her hands shaking in anticipation.
She couldn't lose it now, but it felt like the first time she had the ultrasound done. The first time she was alone too, Callie was stuck in the OR.
But this time, she was on her own, she had to be strong. Negative or positive, she didn't even know how she would react.
Would she try again if there was nothing in her womb? Would she be devastated for months like the first time?
She shook her head trying to erase those thoughts, wait and see and go from there.
She was just about to put the wand on her skin when the door of the room smashed open, making her jump in surprise. She was hidden behind a curtain and hoped whoever this person was, would not see her and leave as fast as possible.
She held her breath, hearing the person searching for something in the room.
« I swear to god those interns are going to be the death of me! »
She recognized Bailey's voice. The chief of surgery was apparently pissed.
Arizona didn't want her to find out, not this way, not now. It was her life, her baby.
She didn't want anyone from Grey Sloan finding out.
And in an unfortunate twist of fate, her phone started ringing, she grabbed it as fast as she could, seeing the caller was Callie which made her gasp, and at that exact same moment , Bailey opened the curtains, and saw someone, tears in her eyes and stomach exposed, laying on an hospital bed, in the dark.
« What the hell is going on? What... » Bailey yelled at first before recognizing her friend. « Arizona? What are you... »
Bailey immediately noticed the shaking hand of her colleague, holding the wand.
« Do you need help? » Miranda asked carefully. Arizona was known to be a private person, and she was surely feeling extremely uncomfortable right now.
Quietly, she approached her and took the wand in her own hand, looking at the blonde who didn't say a word and simply nodded.
« Are you ready? » Miranda asked, putting the wand to the blondes skin, she began to circle it on Arizona's belly.
Arizona eyes were focused intensely on the monitor, looking for the little blob, as Callie had called it the first time.
The silence in the room was heavy and Miranda was looking more at Arizona than at the screen. She had dozens of questions running through her mind, how, when and why?
Arizona gasped suddenly, her finger on the screen. There was a picture this time.
« Oh my god... » Was all the fetal surgeon was able to say, as the tears rolled down her cheeks. « Oh my god... »
She then turned a button as Bailey observed what she was doing.
The blonde stopped for a moment and then pushed another button waiting a second and then it happened.
« There's a heartbeat! » She said with joy in her voice. « You... hear that Bailey? »
Arizona was now smiling between tears, which was a relief for Bailey who didn't know anything about the circumstances of this new pregnancy.
« Yes, I hear it sweety. » She replied, grabbing Arizona's hand in concern. « And are we happy about this? »
Arizona swallowed hard. Of course she was happy. The tiny human inside her was alive and apparently well. Its heartbeat was strong and healthy, and everything else seemed good.
« I... Yes, I am happy. » Arizona eventually replied. « I am happy, but I don't want the news to spread. Not yet. I didn't plan on you, or anyone, finding out so soon. »
« Well, it was not my intention. » Miranda grumbled a little. « How far along are you? »
« Seven and a half weeks. » Arizona replied.
« And why are you doing this here on your own? You own this hospital for god's sake Arizona. You should have been checked by a real doctor. » Bailey interjected.
« I wanted to keep it to myself for as long as possible. You know the Grey Sloan gossip mill right? Nothing can stay hidden for long here. » Arizona explained. « So, I planned on going to another hospital for all my follow up appointments. »
« Well, that's just nonsense Robbins. I just hired a new OBGYN last week, she's very good. I will talk to her, and explain you want to be followed very discreetly. » Bailey said. « Her Name is Carina DeLuca. She's Andrew's sister. »
« I... I don't know Bailey. I don't really think it's a good idea. » Arizona replied.
« Arizona, I know the last months have been hard on you since Sofia left. But don't forget you have friends here. We are here for you. » Bailey reminded her.
« When I was in that courtroom, being called a workaholic or worse a slut shaming by my ex-wife, I didn't have a lot of friends then... » Arizona snapped, the wound was still open and painful. « I'm sorry, I didn't mean that... It's just that I don't want any drama around this little one. If I can ... »
Once again, she was interrupted by her phone, and it was Callie again.
Her ex-wife hadn't called her personally in ages, so she suddenly feared something might have happened to Sofia.
« I'm sorry Bailey, I have to take this. » Arizona said, wiping the gel from her stomach and getting up, before walking away.
« This conversation is not over Dr Robbins... » Bailey yelled at her, but Arizona was already on her way out.
She walked as fast as she could and opened the first supply closet she found.
She took a deep breath trying to cool down the emotional chaos she was feeling inside to take the call.
« Hello, is everything okay, is Sofia okay? » Arizona immediately asked.
It must surely be something serious about her daughter, why would Callie have called her otherwise.
« Hey... Hi... » Callie said. Her voice sounded little and unsure, not like the last time she talked to her on Christmas day. « Yes, everything is okay, Sofia is great... »
Arizona knitted her brow. Something in Callie's voice was weird, but she didn't quite know what it was.
« Ok... So, what do you want, I'm kind of busy right now... » Arizona snapped.
« I have something to tell you. » Callie almost mumbled. « It's... I wanted to tell you, well someone, anyone... »
« Are you drunk? » Arizona asked in annoyance.
« Yes! Because otherwise I wouldn't be able to call you. » Callie laughed. « I've wanted to talk to you about something for a long time. Maybe, well I don't know when it occurred to me exactly. Oh gosh, it's so weird... Maybe we were still married when I realised it? I... No, I think we were already divorced... »
« Callie, stop rambling. I don't know what you need, or what you want, but I'm not in the mood to listen to whatever you feel you want to talk about whether it's personal issues or whatever you feel you need to get off your chest, so will you do me a favour and please leave me the hell alone. »
Arizona cut the call and sighed deeply.
What was Callie doing? Was this some kind of game or something?
She felt a little guilty for not taking the time to listen to her but remembering the way she had treated her since Callie had won custody of their daughter, she didn't want to hear about her problems at the moment.
If she has problems, she has her perfect Penny and all her old gang in Seattle to help her after all, right?
At Arizona's surprise, Callie called her back immediately. She hesitated a second and finally answered the call.
« WHAT?! » Arizona snapped.
At the other end of the call, Arizona could hear sniffing, and sobbing. She didn't know if Callie had called her back intentionally or she had pushed the button by mistake.
Still, those noises broke the blonde's heart. Hearing Callie cry had always been something she couldn't handle, it devastated her.
« Callie? Are you all right ? What's going on? Are you hurt? Where are you? » Arizona worried.
« I'm... I'm in a bar, in the toilet... » Callie said, still crying.
« What can I do? » Arizona asked.
« Can you be here this weekend; Sofia has been asking for you nonstop since you left. » Callie said. « She needs you; you know... »
« I.. I need her too. » Arizona wiped the threatening tears from her eyes. « And I would love to be with her this weekend, but you and your stupid rules have made it impossible. You told me to call your lawyer for that, and then you have to give your consent, so I don't know if it's a good idea. I don't want to come and be welcomed by a sober version of you who then won't let me see her. »
« I may be drunk, but it's me who is offering you to come this time. And I want things to be easier for everybody. She's your daughter, and you have to see her more often. I was a jerk. I'm sorry. So will you come this weekend, please? »
Totally taken aback and lost, Arizona was agape and didn't know what Callie was doing. Was she having regrets about the way the custody battle went? Or was it something else?
« Arizona? » Callie asked.
« Yeah, I just... I will try. I will ask Bailey. » Arizona replied. « But please, if I can make it, can we let it be a surprise for Sofia? »
« Sure... I do have one request though. » Callie replied. « I need to talk to you about... stuff, so can we go for a drink on Saturday night? »
« Callie... It's not a good idea. » Arizona replied. She didn't want to hang out in bars with her ex-wife now that she was pregnant.
« Please, I can't talk about it on the phone. » Callie insisted. « Please Arizona, I need you. »