AN/ Hello everybody. I hope this chapter will please you. Jax helped me one more time. Thanks so much for allnthe reviews. please keep telling me what you think about this Journey!
...
Présent time
Arizona was sitting in the uncomfortable plastic chair, she wasn't sure why she had agreed to this. She didn't want to do this here. But Bailey had sworn Carina Deluca would be discreet, and as she was new at Grey Sloan, she hadn't had time to enter the gossip mill yet.
The chief of surgery had told Arizona that the woman was amazing, a wonderful new addition for the hospital. So, she had caved and had chosen to make her first real appointment with an OBGYN for her pregnancy.
She was 10 weeks pregnant, and it was time for a new ultrasound.
The first trimester was almost over, it was a line she feared. At this point, her baby would be more visible on the screen, and she was more than ready for that.
She had decided to tell her parents at 12 weeks. She hoped they would understand her decision to have a baby on her own.
Even if her dad had accepted her being gay as soon as she came out to him, the colonel was a little more rigid when it came to family. He had clearly told his daughter he was not keen on anyone having a child before getting married.
He had been so disappointed when he learned about her divorce. It took him a few months to get back to his usual self around her after the unexpected turn of events.
Anyway, when the baby arrived, it would have its grandfather wrapped around its finger just like Sofia.
« Dr Robbins? » Carina Deluca called, snapping the day dreaming blonde out of her thoughts.
She raised her head and smiled at the new recruit Bailey couldn't stop talking about.
Carina Deluca was a beautiful woman, tall, long dark hair, a charming accent, and a stunning smile. Arizona couldn't help but notice the beauty of her new OBGYN.
« Yes, that's me. » She replied standing up and following the taller woman.
Carina had clearly checked her out, Arizona would swear by it. Or was it the raging hormones playing with her mind.
No, she wouldn't be the classical hormonal horny/grumpy pregnant woman.
She was single, and she wasn't planning on dating anybody soon. Her priority was her baby, and Sofia.
« So, Chief Bailey told me about your wish for privacy. I totally understand, and it won't be a problem. » Carina said. « So please, now we've got that out of the way and made that clear, let's check your baby! »
Arizona nodded and settled in the chair.
« So do you know how far along you are? » Carina asked. « And is your husband coming? Or partner? »
« I'm 10 and a half weeks along, and nobody is coming. » Arizona said.
« So, you're on your own for this pregnancy? » Carina asked. « Do you already have children? »
« Yes, I'm on my own, and I have a daughter. But I didn't carry her, my ex-wife did. » Arizona explained. « I... I have been pregnant once before. It was four years ago. But I had a miscarriage. It was early in the pregnancy, around six weeks I think. »
Arizona swallowed hard at the mention of the loss of her baby. It was still a painful subject. No one knew about it but Callie and her.
« Oh, I see. Thank you for sharing that information, must be hard but it's very helpful. » Carina said. « So, let's have a look! »
Arizona pulled up her scrub top and looked at her stomach. She was happy it was still flat. The weight she lost when she was struggling with coping with Sofia's absence was helping. But soon, the bump would be noticeable, and she was counting on her scrubs to hide it as long as possible.
Carina put some gel on Arizona's stomach and rolled the ultrasound wand over the blonde's belly.
Both women were scrutinizing the screen. Arizona was trying to find the shape of the tiny human growing inside her.
She was focusing on every pixel on the screen while Carina was also trying to find the best angle to catch a perfect picture.
And suddenly it hit them both.
« Oh... » Carina reacted, looking at her patient she knew would have seen it too.
« No... » Arizona said. « It can't be... »
...
Flash-back to the bar with Callie
« She's sick Arizona, and it might be my last chance to fix my relationship with her. » Callie explained. « I'm asking you to come with me and Sofia to Miami for a few days, and give my mother what she needs to see from me... The family I fought so hard for that she's ready to accept now. »
Arizona opened her eyes wide, hers brows raised and almost knitted.
« What? Are you suggesting what I think you are suggesting? » The peds surgeon almost yelled. « Are you asking me to play house with you, in front of your parents who both hate me? Are you trying to ask me to play pretend that we are a united, loving family? You, me and Sofia? Because you want your mother who has rejected you for years suddenly make amends? »
« Arizona please, there are people around us, lower your voice... » Callie asked her.
« You are unbelievable. I can't even... »
Totally taken aback, Arizona suddenly felt dizzy. It was not the first time she had gone through this since finding out she was pregnant, but it was hitting her stronger this time, between the hormones, the jetlag and the surprising request from her ex-wife. She grabbed the corner of the table to keep her balance, but her gaze was betraying her, it was unfocused, and she needed to close her eyes for a moment.
Callie noticed immediately and she stood up. »
« Oh my god, are you okay? » She asked, as Arizona opened her eyes, and put a defensive hand in front of her. « Please, have a seat, hear me out. »
Needed to rest a little before leaving, Arizona sat back at the booth, as Callie served her a glass of tequila.
« Here, this will make you feel better... » Callie said.
« I told you I don't want to drink tonight! » Arizona snapped. « And I don't think you realise what you have just asked me Callie. »
« I totally know it seems crazy, but it's something I need. I want to give her what she wants to see. She's changed, she wants to be a good mother, and a good grandmother to Sofia. » Callie continued. « I know it's irrational, but it's my last chance to have a relationship with my mother. Even after everything she put me through, I love her Arizona, she's my mother. So, I'm asking you to help me. It will be just the one time, I swear. I'll figure something out for later. »
« Callie, you are totally out of your mind. This isn't 5 years ago, we're not a couple today. We are divorced. You are dating a resident named Penny Blake whom you followed to the other side of the country. In the process, you uprooted your daughter's life and took her to New York, and you barely let me see her... » Arizona reproached. « And you want to hurt all of us because your mother believes you are a perfect mother, a perfect wife with a perfect life? Guess what, you're not anything of these things, none of this exists. »
« Arizona, I know you're mad, and I understand totally. I have been such a jerk regarding our daughter. I'm so sorry. » Callie said. « But I was stuck. My father was always calling me. He wanted us to come to Miami for months, and by us, I mean you and Sofia and me. He always asked after you, asking how you were doing. So, I tried to tell him about us. But I couldn't. Then he got mad at me for not coming and I told him he couldn't come and see Sofia. He began to think you didn't want him to travel to Seattle, he was blaming you. So, I lied and told him it was me who didn't want to hear from him, because he would be hard on you since he knew you had an affair... And then he began to criticise me. Saying I was a bad mother for not letting Sophia's grandparent see her. And you were the perfect woman, perfect doctor because Sofia told him about your second speciality. He was suddenly impressed by everything Arizona Robbins was doing. That was just when we were trying to figure out things regarding Sofia. I was torn. And every day he was calling me, telling me I was a bad mother because I was keeping Sofia from him. And it got worse when my mother was diagnosed. "
« Wow, so this is my fault you are not getting along well with your father. That's... It makes no sense... » Arizona replied. « So… what… I'm supposed to just understand that's why you've been so hard on me about visiting Sofia? You were frustrated about your father, so I had to be your whipping boy so you could take your anger out on me? »
Callie gulped. Hearing Arizona analysing the reason they were in such a delicate and painful situation made her realise what she had done.
She hadn't admitted to herself why she had been so harsh on her ex-wife. Arizona had done nothing but to fight to be able to be in their daughter's life and she had lost.
And in the end, Callie, even if she had won sole custody, hadn't even considered Arizona. She was so blinded by her own conflicted feelings toward her parents that blaming her problem on her ex-wife had been her way to react.
« I... I realise I've been totally disrespectful to you Arizona. I have belittled your role as a mother, I have done everything to keep Sofia away from you. I'm sorry. » Callie stated with emotions. « And I know you have no reason to believe me after everything I put you through, but I swear I will change everything. We will establish a real shared custody and we'll figure things out. »
« Why should I believe you? And even if you do what you are telling me now, why would I do you the favour of helping you lie to your parents? » Arizona snapped. « What are you going to tell Sofia? How are you going to explain all of your stupid plan to her? And what about Penny? Is she even aware of the situation? And what about me? You put me through hell Callie. I've never felt so low and miserable than in these past few months. But now I'm no longer in the dark. I still miss Sofia tremendously, every day. It's a constant pain, but I'm living with it and I have other... stuff happening in my life that I have to take care of. I'm starting to adjust to this new life. I don't want to be put in a position where you have any more power over me that you already have now. I couldn't stand it. It would be too hard. I'm very sorry for your mother Callie, and I'm happy you're willing to forgive her. But nothing good will come from your lies. So, no, I will not go to Florida and make your parents believe you are having the life we could have had, after you left me in that therapist office years ago, the night after you seduced me and let me believe we were going to make it. And certainly not after you left Seattle without looking back, with my daughter. »
Arizona stood up and left a speechless and desperate Callie alone at her booth.
Back at her hotel room, Arizona couldn't calm down. She was so mad. She was stunned by Callie's nerve. That woman she used to love had totally lost her mind.
She sat on her bed and switched on the TV, nervously changing the channels, unable to focus on anything.
She tried to cool down. She just wanted to think about her day with Sofia. It could be the last time she could visit her daughter in a long time if Callie decided to stop her. Surely the brunette wouldn't be ok with Arizona's refusal.
Callie seemed absolutely sure that her plan was fool proof, that this would convince everyone. But Carlos Torres wasn't stupid, he would immediately notice that something was off.
Everybody would be hurt by this impossible plan. What was Callie thinking?
And her lame excuse about the reason she had been so hard on her about seeing Sofia? No this was not right.
Arizona was totally outraged. But she knew she had to try to calm down for the baby. She stroked her stomach with both hands, and it helped her to relax a little.
« Hey little Boo, how are you tonight? I'm sorry I'm so stressed. I am going to get better soon, don't worry. »Arizona whispered. « I'm a little tired, so I'm going to take a shower and then we'll go to sleep, okay? »
She smiled, thinking it was silly to talk to a fetus, but she liked it. She already felt so connected. She was still scared that she may lose it, like the first time. It was the most difficult thing about the pregnancy was that she was not in control of her own child growing inside her. She knew it so well, being a fetal surgeon. She had seen so many mothers and so many complicated cases that each time her body was making her feel new things, she couldn't help but worry about the dozens of potential problems or diseases her child could have.
It was exhausting, but she was working on it.
Suddenly, she was outed from her thoughts by her phone ringing. It was April calling her.
April was having a hard time adjusting to the nights she didn't have Harriet with her. She knew Arizona was living something so much worse than her, but in a similar situation being divorced parents. But Arizona still tried to cheer up the red head every time she could.
« Hey April, how is it going? » Arizona asked.
« Hi. It's okay. I'm home... Alone. » April sighed. « I wanted to check on you, I didn't get much time to see you last week. So how is Sofia? »
Arizona sighed. Sofia was amazing, she was smart, funny, brave... The time she spent with her daughter was awesome. But Callie and all the drama she had brought, asking her the impossible was ruining the joy of being with Sofia.
Needing to hear someone else tell her Callie's request was out of the line, Arizona explained everything to her friend. And she was relieved when April was totally shocked by what she just heard.
« No, it cannot be true. She has got some nerve! » April grumbled. « That is so not the Callie I used to know. »
« Well at least, I'm glad I'm not crazy to think this is totally insane! » Arizona replied.
« But maybe you should do it... » April said seriously. »
« What? No! Never! » Arizona snapped. « What is wrong with you all of a sudden? »
« Wait a minute! I totally agree this idea is stupid. But it's a weekend Arizona. One weekend. You would do her a huge favour by agreeing. » April continued. « And if you want to have Sofia back in your life on a regular basis, you have something to play with here. You just have to tell her you'll do it if she gives you the official papers saying you have shared custody of your daughter ! »
...
The next morning, really early, Arizona was woken up by loud knocking on her door. At first, she didn't really react, thinking someone must have mistaken her room with another one.
But the banging was insistent and really loud.
She looked at her phone. It was 6.15.
She still had more than one hour of sleep before getting ready and then getting to take Sofia for the day. She grabbed her pillow and put it on her head trying to lessen the noise but the knocks were continuing.
She sat on the side of her bed and grabbed her prosthetic, putting on her socket, adjusting it and stood up, walking to the door and looking through the peephole, to see her ex-wife with a drunken gaze.
Knowing the brunette wouldn't take no for an answer, she opened the door but just a little bit.
« What do you want Callie? » Arizona immediately said. « I was sleeping, I think I made myself clear last night, right? So, if you came here to tell me I won't be seeing my daughter today because I didn't say yes, it's not happening. I will take Sofia... »
« Yeah, you will. Of course, I told you I was going to make things easier for you. » Callie replied. « I just came to say I'm sorry. You are right I shouldn't have asked you that. I... I'm just so worried about my mother, and I don't want my father to be upset... »
The ortho surgeon burst into tears, the pressure and the alcohol didn't make a good mix where her emotions were concerned.
Arizona stood in front of the woman she used to cherish and love. She wasn't the confident and strong Calliope Torres she married years ago. She wasn't even the bitter and exhausted woman who left her in a therapist's office.
She was a lost soul, breaking down in front of her.
And suddenly, April's word echoed in her mind, mixed with some unsaid need to comfort her ex-wife.
« I... I'll do it. » Arizona blurted out, making Callie raise her head, and stop crying. « I'll do it, but I have a request. And it's not negotiable. »
Callie looked at her ex-wife with a puzzled expression. She nodded to tell Arizona to go on.
« First of all, I want a piece of paper to re-establish shared custody of Sofia. And I want it official, signed and everything. And it has to be done before anything else. »
« I will call my lawyer now. » Callie said, trying to process everything that was happening.
« I'm not finished. I want another piece of paper signed by you, saying that this will be for one weekend only. We will explain everything to Sofia to not confuse her. I want Penny to be aware of the situation, I don't want her to find out unexpectedly. She's your girlfriend, she needs to know.
It has to be soon though because I have some big things happening in my professional life in a few weeks and then I won't be available to carry out your stupid plan. And finally, after the trip, I want you to tell your parents we are getting a divorce. It won't have to be immediately, it could wait a few months, but I will not let Sofia live in a lie all her life. If, as you said, your mother is willing to accept her, I'm all in. You will tell your parents The divorce is because of me, I know you have a lot of grudges against me, so it won't be hard to find something to tell them. »
Callie waited a few seconds and tried to remember everything Arizona had just told her.
« I think that is all. » Arizona said. « Of course, I will play the good daughter in law, but I will not take your hand, or make any kind of intimate gestures toward you, and you'll do the same. »
« Of course... » Callie said. « I... Wow, it's a lot to process. Maybe you should call my lawyer and tell her everything and she will do the paperwork. »
« I'll do it. So now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to sleep, I have a long day with my daughter tomorrow. »
...
back to present time:
Arizona was back at her place. After the news she just got she needed to be alone for a moment. She had called Bailey and said she wasn't feeling well, the chief of surgery had agreed for her to take the afternoon of.
The 12 weeks mark she had given herself to tell her parents and Sofia was approaching and it was going to be trickier after that ultrasound.
She took the picture Carina Deluca had printed her and sat on her couch.
In a few days, she would be in Miami, to help Callie in her stupid lie, fake smiling at Carlos and Lucia Torres who would be so far from knowing the truth about their daughter and their daughters supposedly wonderful life.
But she was only doing it to get Sofia back in her life, and if that's what she had to do, she would do it to the best of her ability.
Would she be able to play pretend, being hormonal and still processing the news she just got, she could only hope?
Callie had listened to all her demands; the papers were signed, and she would only have to forget about everything for 48 hours.
But forgetting years of anger, months of pain wouldn't be that easy.
She hoped everything would turn out the way it was supposed to. She hoped Callie would be satisfied and that they would be able to coparent Sofia as before.
Things would have to be discussed, but apparently, Callie was willing to make it work.
After all, it was maybe for the best.
She looked again at the back and white pictures, and eventually a smile appeared in the corners of her mouth, her eyes watering with tears.
She was having twins, and her life was going to be awesome.