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Chapter 28

Tris' POV

Baby's first Thanksgiving

Tobias finally closes the door to my apartment behind the last visitor. I sigh, relaxing deeper into the cushions of the couch, our daughter comfortable in my arms as she suckles on me. Tobias comes over, sitting beside us. Lost in the moment, he stares at our daughter suckling my breast.

"You look tired," I mutter, staring at the circles under his eyes. He smiles, sleepily, still watching our little one.

"I'm okay." He swears, just as a yawn comes over him.

"Yeah, okay," I say, amused at how much he is fighting his sleepiness. "You know she will be here tomorrow. You and Zeke made sure of that." I remind him.

"I can't seem to stop watching her." He admits. My heart breaks, thinking of how I would feel if the shoes were reversed, and I had to be the one leaving. Suddenly I'm overwhelmed with the pain in my heart.

"Why don't you stay here?" I ask him, wanting, no needing, to make things right for us all.

"Are you sure?" He asks, but I can see the answer in his eyes. He wants nothing more than to stay. Suddenly I don't want him to go. I want him to stay.

"Yes," I answered.

They say that having a baby changes you. Changes the way you look at things and not to mention who you are as a person. If you had asked me a month ago what motherhood looks like… I definitely wouldn't have said anything near this. The lack of sleep and privacy, the laughter and good times that have been shared.

The night I asked Tobias to stay… May have been for more selfish reasons than I thought. I think a part of me feared shouldering so many responsibilities for the first time. Sure, I could see the struggles he had at the thought of separating himself from the baby. I knew if our roles were reversed, I wouldn't be able to leave either. Sure, we agreed on shared custody. But that would look completely different for the first year at the least. Especially since we are breastfeeding. But after what we both had been through… Christina was able to take our child from right under our noses. There we were, both in the same room. She still managed to take our child. I didn't want to be the only set of eyes that Sofy has on her. Not yet at least.

I awkwardly stand in front of my full-length mirror. Pushing down my dress, I keep turning side to side, looking at every angle. I sigh, my eyes staring at my mid-section where my swollen stomach used to be. It's gone down some since the baby was born, some. But now it's hollow, empty and jiggly.

"You're gorgeous!" Tobias says from the doorway of my bedroom. I turn, not sure if I am ready to scold him or thank him when I see the reason why my body is so out of whack. Our daughter, who is sleeping in his arms. No matter the stretch marks, the awkward feelings, the jigglyness…She was totally worth it.

"Thank you," I say, shyly smiling as my eyes finally leave our baby girl and run-down Tobias' outfit. I swallow past the lump in my throat trying to control myself. He is wearing a tight-fitting button-down black shirt with orange flames, tucked into black jeans and black boots to match. He looks delicious. Our daughter is wearing a yellow dress with the words "My first Turkey Day" written on the front.

I admit I have been struggling socially since having her. The thought of leaving this house has become more of a task at hand than anything else. The never-ending list that runs in my head, the scenarios that can happen, the anxiety I feel…. It can be overwhelming at times.

Tobias insisted that we go to Hana's home for Thanksgiving dinner. "It's a tradition." He spoke. As if those little words would be a deal breaker. "Plus, Maggie will be there. She wants to see you"

I knew I gave in too easily. Not wanting to disappoint anyone and not wanting to fight over something that should be so special for us. I close the gap between us, needing to reach out and touch our daughter's little blonde curls. I can't help the smile that always appears on my face when I look at her. I can feel Tobias' stare burning onto my face, it's the same stare that I have caught him giving me from time to time over the past month. I finally break away from our daughter, looking up into his gorgeous, blue eyes. I'm captivated by what is looking back at me… Admiration, passion and loyalty. I'm frozen in place as we are both lost in the moment, he glances down at my lips with hunger. I don't stop him; I don't want to stop him as he slowly leans towards me. His lips gently touched my own. I close my eyes, enjoying the warmth that seeps from his lips. We keep the kiss tender and nice, remembering that we have our daughter between us. This kiss is both familiar and different from the first time we shared a kiss. Remembering his kisses were once full of passion and hunger, verses now.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself." He says, breaking the kiss. I can see his expression, trying to read me. Trying to see if I am upset. But I'm anything but upset.

"Don't be. We better go," I insist as I glance at the clock, not wanting to be late to Hana's. I see the relief in Tobias' face since I'm not rejecting him. It was a nice kiss.

It takes us three minutes to walk to Hana's house. Her door is festively decorated with fall leaves and pumpkins. We don't bother to knock as we just let ourselves in. Everyone coddles over the baby. Wanting to take a turn holding her, kissing her, aweing over her little Turkey Day dress.

Zeke is the last one to claim her, wanting to save the best for last as he says. He gives her sweet kisses over her face and holds her closely against his chest. One thing for sure…. Sofie is loved.

We sat down to eat a delicious feast in no time. I'm taken aback when I see such a long table to hold us all in, it's big enough to hold all twenty-six of us. I'm confused when Hana says there is room for two more at the table. The seats that are being saved beside me. That's when the knock on the door confuses not only me, but everyone else. Who else is coming? Everyone that I know is here? Our eyes are glued to the door as Hana smiling widely opens the door to allow my parents in. My heart soars, happily. My mother is the first one to come into the apartment with my father right behind her. They come straight for me, hugging me. Glancing over at Tobias, they have an awed look stitched onto their faces when they see Sofie for the first time. My mother takes the baby into her arms, kissing her head as my father is in awe of her.

I glance questioningly at Hana, wondering how?

"Your mom was one of my best friends growing up. When I found out she was your mother… I just knew it wouldn't be Thanksgiving without them." She says, her voice filled with kindness. I wrap my arms around her, grateful for so much this year.

"And we wouldn't miss it for the world." My mother says, when Hana and I broke apart. I finally feel complete.

"Tris, can we talk before we head out?" Tobias asks, carefully placing our daughter into the bassinet in my room. He stands just a few feet before me, scratching nervously behind his neck.

"Is everything okay?" I ask.

"Yes…Well…No… I don't know." He begins, " Tris… I think we need to figure things out about… us…" Us? "I mean, this is stupid. Me being here and having a place over there." He confesses, taking a seat on the edge of my bed. I decided to sit down and listen to him. "I don't want to be apart. I don't… Want to be a weekend dad. If that." He expresses. I can see the struggles he is having trying to explain. But I already know. I have thought about it too. The day that he takes her for his weekends, missing one of her firsts…

"Four. I know what you mean… I have thought about it too. Truth is... I don't like the idea either." I confess.

"Really. Cause I was thinking… Tris what if we get a place together. A three bedroom." He proposes. For a second, I wondered what he was wanting as the words a place together came out of his mouth. Those feelings come crashing down when I hear him say a three bedroom…

"Four. I just…"

"Just think about it. Please. Tris, you and Sofie are all I have… I don't want to be apart from either of you. "He continues, I can see the passion in his eyes once more. I know without a shadow of a doubt one way or another, we are family.

Revised by: FDFobsessed

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