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Chapter 30

Tris' POV

Moving Day

"Please tell me the pizza is getting here soon, I'm starving!" Uriah cries out as he maneuvers around the living room with the coffee table.

"Pizza? I was promised beer!" Zeke says, holding to the other side of the coffee table.

"What a minute…You guys are getting rewarded?" Maggie chimes in, passing both of them with a lamp heading to the baby's room.

Four days ago Four and I finally got the call that a three-bedroom apartment was available. Without any hesitation, we jumped right on it. We were even more excited when we found out that it's right next to Zeke and Uriah's mom's, Hana's apartment. She retired from the force last month leaving her with plenty of time on her hands. She loves sitting with Sofie.

Paying for two apartments when in reality we were only using mine was insane. Luckily Tobias hadn't bought too much stuff since he moved into his apartment. Other than a bed, a dresser, and a few other things to go with it all. It made moving in together a lot easier. We worked on his apartment first before mine, seeing that he had such minimum items. It was easier to clean out. We already dropped off the keys to that apartment. Leaving us only to work on moving mine and Sofie's things.

I know there is a lot to work out between Tobias and I. I worry about this insane choice we made. After all, life can change so fast…We both know that. What works for us today might not work for us tomorrow and it's not just us anymore. We have this little cutie pie to think about. That alone worries me. But for now, this will work. It gives Tobias and I both the ability to be there for her and not miss those special moments. Not to mention the whole it takes a village…Together we can support and lean on each other during the harder times.

We haven't spoken about our kiss or kisses. I don't plan to talk about it. I just don't want to rock the boat. I do know I have feelings for Tobias, strong ones. I just don't know if they are real. Do I have them because of the baby or because I really never got over him. I still recall his hands around me, the feeling of his lips on mine…The warmth of his hands as he removed my jacket… It may have been more than three years ago, but the memory is still fresh in my brain. I wonder if it will always be.

I glance over at Maggie who is busing herself with the smaller boxes. She laughs at the struggles the boys are having compared to the women. They did insist that they are man enough to handle all the furniture. Us girls need to just stay out of their way.

Shauna has given up with the whole moving thing and has settled on unpacking the kitchen boxes. I don't mind, anything to speed up the settling into a new place.

"So, you're going back tomorrow?" Maggie asks me as we leave my new apartment to get another load. We both work together to push the large moving cart backwards.

"Yeah, first day back," I answered, playing with the rubber on the handles. It's something I have been struggling with. Leaving the baby and going back to work. She is only 6 weeks old. A part of me doesn't want to leave her. I'm thankful for Hana, who since she is retired, has offered to care for Sofie when Tobias and I are both scheduled for work. I like the idea that just for now Sofie isn't going to daycare. Definitely in the future I would want her to go and be with other kids…But for now I just want to cuddle her.

Tobias' POV

I sigh heavily as I lean against the counter as the gurgling of the coffee keeps me roughly awake. I pour two cups of the delicious hot liquid. I take Tris' cup to the nursery, placing the steaming cup next to the small table beside the rocker. My eyes fall on Tris' cheeks with tears falling down from her eyes as she is engrossed with our child. My heart breaks. I wish somehow, I could make this easier for her.

"Tris, maybe…." I begin for the hundredth time.

"Don't. Please." She says, closing her eyes and allowing another dozen or so tears to fall down her eyes. "I have to do this." I nod my head, trying to understand that this is how she feels. I understand not wanting to be apart from the baby. I also understand this need of having her own identity and not wanting to lose herself. It's easy to forget who we are as people and just become Sofie's mom or dad.

I walk Tris to the door, reaching for her before she leaves. I give her a warm embrace. There are no more words, nothing else but the tightest, longest hug ever. She leaves, wiping her tears before closing the door behind herself. I sigh, knowing damn well that things can only get harder from here… One day Sofie will start school after all… Not to mention the day she has her own choosing ceremony. What if she doesn't choose Dauntless? What if she chooses Abnegation? Suddenly I'm stricken by all sorts of emotions, ready to join in on Tris' heightened emotions.

I kneel on the floor in the nursery, my nose thankfully pinched by a clothespin, as my eyes burn from the stench of my daughter. I hurry to wipe her, trying to keep my lunch down as I wipe the green slim from her skin. I roll everything up in a nice little ball when I'm done, tossing it into the diaper genie. I glance at the destroyed onesie, deciding what to do with it. Should I try to save it or just toss it. My gagging reflexes choose for me. Tossing it into the trash it went.

"What has your mommy been feeding you?" I ask, sarcastically as I scoop her up off the mat on the floor. Her face is filled with contempt as I pat her little back over my shoulder. I remove the clothespin from my nose, taking in a good lungful of air. Thank goodness that's over.

"I'm home." Tris calls out as she comes around the corner into the nursery. I glance up, smiling at her tired eyes. But I fear there is more than just tiredness behind the look she has. Her sorrow is nearly drowning me.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I ask, unable to wait even one minute.

"Long day," She says, taking the now very clean baby from my arms. If only she would have arrived five minutes earlier…She could have witnessed the joys her daughter just gave me.

"Hi there, Sofie. Sofie, my baby Angel." She says, sweetly as she makes her way to the rocking chair. I smile, the past few minutes suddenly forgotten.

"I've been deployed for a meeting in Amity." Tris finally slips out. "I have to leave the day before Christmas Eve." She cries as she continues "and I might be gone for a few days. I can't believe I'm going to miss her first Christmas." Tris says, no longer holding back as she holds our daughter closer to her breasts. My heart sinks to the floor. We hadn't spoken about Christmas… Obviously Sofie is too young to understand. But we never spoke about what if one or both of us had to work on it. Dread fills my heart; I hate feeling out of control and having no way to fix this.

Revised by: FDFobsessed