Bad News from Universe Cringe
Season 2
A shirtless Jiren waits at a big ass spaceport in Universe 6 as his special flight is arranged.
"I'm still shit out of power after fusing with Goku. I have to travel the unchad way for some time to bring Vegeta to the Galactic Prison," Jiren explains to an unassuming staff member. She immediately understands due to Jiren's Chadchic (Chad Psychic) powers. He sends thousands of waves into her brain to manipulate her brain cells and cause them to formulate a memory of exactly what Jiren wants, because he sucks at explaining things but his exuberance of chadness is incredibly potent. Even when weak, he can do this technique. It's an evolution of Spitus Factus, done entirely mentally instead of requiring speech or air reverberations of any kind. The staff member sets up a private spacecraft and he boards. He takes the controls and begins flying towards the Galactic Prison. Vegeta lays in the back, depressed.
"Everyone left me… I couldn't even gain victory in the end…" He repeats this over and over again, with only minor variations. "Not even my penis could win. It went back to 20 inches flaccid… God damn it all..."
"Would you shut up back there, you depressed fuck?" Jiren demands, his voice raised. Vegeta sinks deeper into sulking, his racing mind only calmed by the thought of his anime babe Freeza, though she is no longer among the living, and will never be again. Unless-
Vegeta's mind fires off as a thought comes to him. A plan metastasizes throughout his brain as he plays a game of connect-the-dots with his scattered thoughts. Vegeta realizes that, with the Super Dragon Shafts, he can bring Freeza back to life. His hot anime babe can return to his arms once again, and his problems of severe horniness may be ceased. He clings on to this thought desperately as the ship approaches the prison. It's massive, a humongous space station in the middle of nowhere. Several offshoots jut from the main structure, likely holding hundreds if not thousands of rooms of their own. The structure itself is long and spindly, arranged in tubes that connect and joint the structure together, though maintaining a firm and isolating appearance. The ship pulls in to one of the many hangar bays and docks in an empty compartment.
Before getting out, Jiren gets out his phone and checks his wikipedia page to make sure everything is correct.
"What the fuck?" He says aloud, "It says here that I pushed back Goku's spirit bomb during the first Tournament of Power. No I fucking didn't, that weak ass attack was scared of me and moved away on its own." He quickly fixes the mistake, and grabs Vegeta before leaving the ship.
"Jiren! It's good to see you!" One of the workers approaches Jiren, "Who's over your shoulder?"
"Some incel. He killed half of Universe 6, if you heard about that," Jiren answers.
"Wait, that's him? He looks so small."
"Yeah, I don't know how he did it. I guess horny power is strong after all."
"Well, just give him to us. We'll take care of him," Jiren hands Vegeta off to the worker, who calls several others over to take him away. On his way out, Jiren thinks about his estranged daughter for some reason.
"La Chica…" Jiren says to himself, "I'm sorry I pushed you away." Jiren takes out his phone and tries to call her, but La Chica doesn't pick up. Jiren sheds a single tear. His quiet depression is interrupted by a Discord notification from the Grand Priest.
"hey, Jiren," it reads, "thought id tell you abt this before i told anyone else. yknow cause youre Jiren and all. Zenozeno wants to destroy a bunch of universes again and im tryna convince him not to but hes pretty stubborn. I need your help if you can use like, ur chadchic waves or something, that would be super cool. cya soon. Mwah. 3." Jiren knows what he must do. He heads off to Zenozeno's palace.
Glass doors slide open as Trunks and Bra approach the East City Metro Hospital. The enormous structure towers high over the two half-Saiyans and most other buildings nearby. Flying vehicles channel through large highways that intersect the building. People pour in and out of the lobby- sliding glass doors constantly whoosh and ding. It is particularly busy now, since waves of injured citizens have been flying in from the west after Vegeta's rampage. Trunks holds Bra's hand as they step inside the lobby. They approach the front desk, getting in line.
"What happened to mom?" Bra asks, looking up at Trunks.
"She got hurt," Trunks says quickly.
"Is she okay?"
"Yes, I think so."
After waiting some time, Trunks and Bra are directed up the floors of the hospital to a quiet ward. Trunks opens the door and steps in, gently pulling Bra in the room with him. Krillin sits on a stool beside Bulma, who lays in a bed by the window. She is in a rough state- covered in bandages with tubes hooked into her slowly draining certain solutions into her body. Bulma isn't unconscious but she looks tired- her eyes are droopy as she gazes out the window at the vast, moving skyline of East City.
"Hey mom- Krillin," Trunks says sullenly. Bra leaves Trunks' side and rushes over to Bulma. Her head barely reaches the bed, and she gets on her tiptoes, placing her hands on Bulma's legs.
"Hey, Trunks," Krillin says, peeking behind himself to briefly lock eyes with Trunks.
"Thanks for coming. And thanks for bringing Bra," Bulma says, her voice gruff. She smiles gently as she looks at her little daughter, who hops up and down to get a better view of her mom. Trunks pulls up another stool between Krillin and Bra and takes a seat at the bedside.
"It's a bit of a miracle I'm recovering so fast… also a bit of a miracle I'm alive," Bulma says.
"Mom, I brought some senzu beans- courtesy of Karin," Trunks says excitedly, grabbing in his pockets.
"I don't want one," Bulma insists. Trunks' face widens a bit in surprise. "Not worth wasting a bean on this. I'll be fine."
"Mom, why?"
Krillin pipes up, "Trunks, you know Yajirobe has been cumming on all the beans, so they're really gross. Also, Goku took a bunch of them and then lost them in the depths of Universe 6 space when he and Jiren fought Vegeta, so we're low on beans anyway."
"Huh… I kind of get why my dad hates Goku so much."
"Trunks!" Krillin's face bends in anger. Trunks' head falls as he realizes his insensitive mistake. Silence fills the room for several moments. "Well… I'm glad you're okay, mom," Trunks finally croaks out.
"Not completely," Bulma says as she works her left arm out from under her blankets. Well… she works out about half of it. Where her forearm once was now exists a stump. Trunks gasps in shock, and Bra's face bends into worry.
"They had to amputate my arm from the elbow down. It couldn't be saved… I lost a lot of blood, and most of the tissue died."
"Mom… a… uh..." Trunks stutters.
"A bean wouldn't have fixed this. It was too late."
"Bulma, that's not how senzu beans wor-" Krillin is cut off as everyone in the room, including Bra, tells him to shut up. Bulma adds that it's for the sake of the story.
With Gohan and Chichi dead at the hands of Vegeta, their OnlyFans quickly begins losing subs. This ends up being a major financial hit to the Son extended family, further necessitating their revival.
Graciously, Android 18 offers to temporarily take over the OnlyFans in an attempt to keep some of the remaining subs. Krillin initially was not okay with this, and Android 18 had to promise him full free access to every post. This excites the little horndog; he is eager to see his hot cyborg wife fucking hot dudes.
She doesn't know who to fuck, however, and needs someone with a huge monster cock and chad exuberance and also universal recognition; she told us on an exclusive report that, quote, "I have to get my extraterrestrial numbers up. I'm doing this for a good cause." She thinks for a while before picking up the phone and dialing the chaddest human in the entire multiverse.
"Hey Jiren, I'm pretty fucking horny and am covering Chichi's OnlyFans while she is dead," Android 18 pleads.
"I understand. But right now I am very weak and unchadlike. I don't know if I will be enough for you," Jiren responds. He sets his ship on a course to Earth, "I'll be there in… Oh fuck, it's gonna be like 3 weeks. Also, I have to go see Omni King Zenozeno, also my mansion repairs may need my attention." Android 18 loses some hope.
"Fuck, I'm gonna let everyone down, and also may die from sex withdrawal," Android 18 says. Jiren knows exactly what to do, since his innate chad powers are still flowing.
"Call my brother, El Hermano. He'll know what to do," Jiren says. He gives Android 18 El Hermano's number. She calls, and immediately before speaking a word El Hermano teleports into her room. Android 18 is shocked.
"Holy shit, are you El Hermano?!" Android 18 asks. She notices his pulsating bulge under his tight spandex clothing. El Hermano speaks.
"Jiren told me everything with his Chadchic powers." Android 18 blushes; El Hermano's voice is not meant to be heard by mortals. It sounds like the voice of Jesus or maybe God.
"Oh, El Hermano! Come here!" Android 18 reaches out. El Hermano flexes and his 22 inch cock bursts through his tight clothes. It is much thicker than Gokus and drips with precum. It pulsates at a steady rate, almost like a beating heart. Android 18's hornyness takes over and she jumps to El Hermano's cock. She begins jerking it off very passionately and tastes the sticky fluids dripping from its tip. El Hermano watches eagerly. She works the head tenderly, trailing her tongue across its whole breadth, the taste of salty juices lighting up her tastebuds. With each throb, El Hermano's penis pumps out globs of precum.
"You're so excited…" Android 18 says, mouth half full of his rock-solid head, liquid dripping out on her breasts, "I can feel that you want this just as much as me…" Android 18 reaches out, grazing her fingertips on the underside of his great shaft and gently caressing his soft balls for some time before giving them a tender squeeze. El Hermano flinches. He grabs his hot penis, pulling it to the side and slapping it against Android 18's cheeks and tongue a few times with wet thwaps.
"Ohh, my cute little man… you won't be the one in charge here," Android 18 says, grabbing El Hermano's cock and somehow pushing him down on her bed with the power of her feminine wiles. Android 18 wraps her mouth around the whole of his penis, sliding her head down slowly and managing to get 20 inches of it into her mouth and throat. She begins slowly moving up, letting her lips feel the shape of his cock as it twitches in her mouth. After reaching the head, she moves slowly back down. She repeats this motion, and begins speeding up.
"Fuck, bitch!" El Hermano grunts, "Gargle on my hermacock!" Android 18 continues, the wet deep sounds of El Hermano's great size filling her throat becoming louder and sloppier. Saliva drips down the base of his cock, trailing down his quivering balls. Android 18 keeps going.
"Oh, fuck!" El Hermano says with a somewhat strained voice, "Where do you want me to cum?" Android 18 doesn't seem to hear, or maybe she just doesn't listen. She continues stimulating the length of his cock with her soft lips and tongue. "I'm gonna cum, seriously!" Android 18 moves her mouth up and down on his dick, her pace unwavering. Out of nowhere she feels it pulse hard as El Hermano grunts. Android 18 feels hot semen burst out of the tip of his penis straight into her stomach. El Hermano pushes Android 18 away and removes his schlong from her mouth. It pulses a few more times, shooting fat ropes across Android 18 and the room. The white, hot cum drapes her breasts and face, dripping down into her mouth and on her body and covering one of her eyes. She wipes her face.
"That was way too fast, you nerd. I thought you were joking. What are you, an incel? Like that stud, Vegeta?" Android 18 says. El Hermano had been doing nofap for the past 20 years, hoping to reach Jiren's penis level. El Hermano had nothing on his brother in terms of penile strength. "Stay hard, so we can fuck!" Android 18 got back on El Hermano's penis, massaging it between her breasts. Upon feeling the pressure of her breasts, a couple late throbs shoot out a little more cum that lands gently on El Hermano's tip and Android 18's breasts.
"Wait I forgot to turn on the camera for the OnlyFans," Android 18 realizes, "I better start streaming." Master Roshi gets a notification on his phone.
"Hey Krillin, Chichi's finally updated her OnlyFans," Roshi yells upstairs. Krillin rushes downstairs to take a look. To their surprise, they click in to see Android 18 sucking on the head of El Hermano's penis while she presses the shaft between her tits. Roshi cums very fast in his shorts upon seeing this, and decides he needs to do something about it.
"I can't just sit here and watch this… I won't be satisfied!" Roshi rushes for the door, dropping the phone. Krillin picks it up and starts masturbating, drooling upon seeing his hot robot wife sucking cock. Roshi gets on his private jet and sets course for Android 18's house. He is incredibly hard in anticipation, his ancient dick throbbing underneath his shorts. Cum drips out onto the seat. Back at Kame House, Krillin continues watching the show.
El Hermano can barely hold back another orgasm. Android 18 works on his rod, licking the head lustfully while staring straight into El Hermano's soul with her seductive eyes. Precum rushes out of El Hermano's cock while Android 18 rubs the shaft with her pillow-like breasts. His balls quiver in anticipation of his coming orgasm. Android 18 keeps working on the head, locking her lips around the shaft just below the tip and pumping up and down with great pressure. Her tongue presses against the underside of his glans, her mouth effectively stimulating every part of his penis. El Hermano feels waves of pleasure unlike anything he has felt in 20 years, and his penis throbs as his balls clench up with every muscle contraction. He tries as best as he can to hold back the climax, like a cracked dam buckling at the pressure of an untold volume of water. But Android 18 works hard, her soft tongue and enveloping mouth and heavenly breasts pumping his rock-hard penis. Gooey precum spills from her mouth as she moves up and down. After some time, El Hermano clenches his teeth and groans strongly and roughly as a rope of jizz erupts out of his cock. Android 18 pinches her hand around the base of his shaft with super-strength, cutting off the flow. El Hermano grunts as his orgasm is denied. His whole body quivers.
"Don't cum yet dumbass, we have to save it for later," Android 18 says, irritated, "I was told Gohan mastered this technique but I see that the years of nofap has left your endurance criminally low." Android 18 reaches over to her collection. She pulls out a thick metal ring made out of Katchin and clips it around El Hermano's dick and balls, cutting off any cum. El Hermano moans. His wet, swollen, backed-up balls squeeze tight around his pulsing cock now, which is trapped in the very beginning of an eternal orgasm.
Android 18 also pulls out some special lube from her collection, gifted to her by Lord Beerus himself (he uses it to have anal sex with Whis). She pops the cap off and pours this warm, smooth ambrosia onto El Hermano's head- the feeling of the lube alone forcing incredible pleasure. Android 18 grabs his penis and slowly moves her hand up and down the shaft, caressing the head and smoothly distributing the holy mixture evenly about his rod.
"Hey, big boy… you'll finish when I say you can finish, okay?" Android 18 says, then leans close and whispers in El Hermano's ear, "We have a crowd to please." Android 18 then stands up and lowers herself onto this throbbing dick. In one swift motion she sits down on the entire thing, the 35 inches filling her vagina. Android 18 is tight, though not as tight as Chichi. Still, the tightness alone makes El Hermano cum, but his orgasm is once again denied by the Katchin ring. His dick throbs violently and he moans deeply and desperately, his whole body shaking. Android 18 starts moving, her ass sliding up and down on his veiny cock. El Hermano grunts endlessly, riding a constant orgasm that is never able to go to completion. Android 18 speeds up, beginning to moan. She rides the whole length of his schlong, wrapping tight around the shaft, nearly crushing it within her vagina. Gallons of precum gush out from her pussy.
Suddenly Master Roshi's plane crashes into Android 18's house. The force of the impact causes the Katchin ring to break and El Hermano finally nuts in Android 18. He then dies from blunt force trauma.
"Hey 18, how's the OnlyFans going?" Master Roshi asks. He staggers out of the mangled jet. Android 18 cuts his dick off with a rusty knife.
"You stupid bitch. Thats gonna cost like 250,000 zeni," Android 18 says, cutting Roshi's balls open. 18 hears a voice behind her and turns around to see another man.
"El Hermano… My friend, what happened to you?" Says the man. He stands above El Hermano, who lies among the rubble.
"Gohan?" Android 18 says in disbelief. The man who stands before her looks exactly like the son of Goku, but even more powerful. He wears a burger king crown on his head and is currently doing it to em. He wears a white polo shirt and shorts, and emanates a heavenly glow.
"Gohan what the fuck, you're alive? And sexier?" Android 18 asks, running towards Burger King Gohan with her tits flapping and bionic cheeks clapping.
"18… In my universe, you are dead. Killed by my alter ego, the traitor, Gohan Blanco," BK Gohan says. Android 18 stops just in front of him and admires BK Gohan's rock hard abs. Krillin arrives, having seen the crash on the livestream.
"Oh my god, Roshi, what happened to you?!" Krillin says, stunned by the state of Roshi's penis. Krillin looks ahead and sees Android 18 and BK Gohan.
"Wow Gohan, you're more of a hunk than I remembered. Wait how the fuck are you alive?" Krillin notices. BK Gohan's face grows sour.
"So is the Gohan of this universe dead? That's a shame… I come from Universe Cringe, the secret 19th universe that Zeno never discovered. I accompanied El Hermano when he went to go fuck you, Android 18. He's dead but that shouldn't last. Don't worry about it," BK Gohan answers, "There's more pressing matters at hand."
Android 18 looks up into BK Gohan's eyes. They are very serious, his brow is furrowed.
"Gohan Blanco killed my mother He killed everyone. And he will soon destroy the entirety of Universe Cringe, if not every universe. He is very strong," BK Gohan explains.
"Gohan Blanco, huh? Are there any more Gohans we should know about?" Krillin asks.
"He also killed Gohan Verde, El Grande Calvo, and Chadhan Mystico. Gohan Calvo is in critical condition," BK Gohan explains, "I am the strongest of the Gohans, besides Gohan Blanco himself. His dick is too huge, I need your help. Where is Goku?"