Chapter 4

Absolutely (Story of a Girl)

His eyes followed every movement I made. I sighed in frustration and looked up to meet his concerned gaze. He propped his elbows on the table and rested his chin on his knuckles. I avoided his scrutinizing stare and grew uncomfortable. My eyes cast down to my dress and I clenched the hem of the light pink strapless dress to detract my mind from his worried glances. I heard him heave a sigh. He pushed my plate forward. I stared at the Belgian waffles accompanied with hash browns and scrambled eggs. I had taken a few bites earlier for breakfast, but Melissa was outside, so I left with my plate still full. Now, I just didn't have an appetite. Although I knew it was childish of me, I didn't feel like eating, especially if I was forcing the food down.

"Eat Loren."

Eddie's voice cracked. It caused me to instantly look at him. I was left astounded by his pained expression. He had lightly leaned in towards me. I blinked a couple of times before shaking my head. "I don't have an appetite." I placed my hands on the table and played with the small decorative florets. My smile faded and Eddie's gaze never ceased to divert from me.

"Loren," He gently placed his hand on top of mine. He gave it a soft squeeze and stroked the back of my hand with his thumb. Stunned at the pleasantness that overpowered me with just one simple touch, I slowly gazed off into his brown eyes. He gave me a smile and I allowed myself to reciprocate it. He didn't move his hand. His smile was comforting, and his eyes held so much emotion it would take me forever to decipher it.

"For me."

My lips formed into a straight line as I sighed in defeat, with my free hand I picked up the fork and slowly started eating. I tasted the thick, crisp and sugary waffle. My sweet tooth was rejoicing. I swallowed and Eddie nodded with the smile still engraved on his face. I continued eating; my stomach was slowly filling up. Eddie's hand never left mine and I felt his soft caresses. It was uncomfortable eating with only one hand, but I didn't want his warmth to fade away. I frowned at that. I was becoming too comfortable with him.

He had only ordered a cup of black coffee. No cream or sugar. He had ordered for me when I told the waitress I didn't want anything. His eyes had looked at me suddenly and he was about to say something. Instead, he smiled politely to the waitress and ordered for himself or so I thought. When the food came, he shoved the plate in front of me and simply told me to eat. It was my own fault, too. We were heading to the Santa Monica pier when my stomach let out a horrendous growl. Eddie, without a second thought, diverted from his previous path and drove to the nearest restaurant.

Eddie's eyes were away from me for a moment. He looked alert, I noticed, like he was watching for someone. I took that opportunity to observe him. He had a clean-cut shave. His hair, black and shiny, curled around effortlessly. He looked a little bit different since our first meeting on that hill. And though he was no longer a teenage boy, he was still beautiful. His features were more defined. His jaw was chiseled to perfection, but his eyes hadn't changed. They were still bright, honest, and playful.

Three years passed and he had grown up when I still looked sixteen. I frowned at this and promised myself to eat more. It would do me some good to gain a couple of pounds. I didn't think much about wanting to gain weight so I could look attractive to Eddie.

"Can I have some of your coffee?"

"Of course," Eddie didn't hesitate in pouring coffee into the spare cup. He placed the cup of coffee near me and pushed the silver creamer pitcher and glass sugar dispenser. Eddie attentively watched me pour a ton of creamer and sugar into my cup. I noticed his eyebrows raised. "I like my coffee sweet." I said sheepishly.

"I don't think you can call that coffee."

I stuck my tongue out, and he chuckled. "You have a sweet tooth?"

"Yes, if it's high in sugar, I will like it."

Eddie nodded attentively taking in this bit of information about me. "I feel like you definitely add sugar to your French toast."

I smiled guiltily. I took a sip of my very sweet coffee. Eddie shook his head, not believing I was drinking a cup composed of a third coffee, a third creamer, and another third of sugar. "No, but that sounds like a good idea and really delicious." I looked at him pensively and then pointed at his black coffee. "You don't have a sweet tooth?"

"No, but" I gently licked my upper lip as I felt a little bit of coffee on them, Eddie's eyes followed my movement and then i saw him swallow, "I can eat it."

"Don't knock it till you try it." I gave my cup to Eddie. He debated for a second before grabbing it. I held in my laughter as I watched him take the smallest sip, tried the longest to swallow it, and then his face cringed.

"That tastes just like creamer and sugar." Eddie took a long drink of his water to wash down my coffee.

"It's so good, right?" I hummed as I grabbed my coffee back. I continued eating my breakfast, my appetite was back.

"I'm not going to answer that." I laughed softly, covering my mouth with my hand as I had just taken a bite of the waffle. I felt Eddie's gaze on my lips when I took another sip of coffee. I felt my top lip was wet with the coffee. Feeling a little confident, I slowly licked my top lip again. I watched Eddie's eyes again following my tongue gliding on my lip. Feeling even more confident, I bit the right corner of my bottom lip, causing the other side of my lip to pop out almost like pout. Eddie was in a trance. Realizing what I was doing, I stuffed more food on my mouth, and it forced Eddie to clear his throat. His gaze quickly averted from my mouth. I didn't dare to look at him because I was embarrassed. What the hell did I just do?

"Their strawberry cheesecake is good. We can order you a slice if you want."

"Okay," I mumbled, still embarrassed from what I had done. The waitress came back to ask if everything was okay, but I knew she just came back to talk to him. He ordered a slice of cheesecake and after she left, Eddie's gaze resumed scanning the crowd. I took his distraction to stare at him some more.

I reminisced when I first met him. He was so kind, and gentle, and patient back then. Still is. I could've been some psychopath looking for a victim on that hill, but he was kind to me even when he didn't know me. And although he will never know, that saved me. At my darkest time, he was the one person that kept me sane. It showed me that there were good people like him. It was startling that I didn't push him away. I mean, initially I did tell him to leave me alone on that hill, but I didn't mean it. I wanted him to stay. He stuck around for that short amount of time. He made me smile and laugh despite everything going on at home.

He was still the same kind boy I met once in a tragedy.

Eddie had stopped looking around, and as soon as his eyes were back on me, I was already looking at my empty plate. I discreetly looked at him and I noticed the tension on his jaw. I wanted to make it go away with my own touch. My hand twitched at the sudden desire. Eddie felt the light twitch, and subconsciously his hand gripped mine a little tighter. I stared at our hands. His eyes followed the same trial, and he swiftly pulled away. I missed his warmth immediately. Scratching the back of his head, his cheeks turned into a rosy tint. Why was he all a sudden nervous?

"How did you know what school I go to?"

"I didn't." He admitted. I gave him a curious look. "I mean, I just drove into the first high school I saw from Tarzana. I was lucky that it turned out to be your school."

"So, when you called, how did you know I was there if you weren't 100% sure?"

"I didn't know. I was just going with luck."

I frowned at him, "then what would've happened if I had actually agreed to go with you and you were at the wrong school?"

Eddie smiled knowingly. "I knew you weren't going to come out. You're stubborn." I glared at him, and his smile faded, and he looked at me confused. "Were you thinking of coming with me after you hung up?"

I placed the fork down and looked over at him. He gave me a knowing look, so there was no point in answering. I answered his question with another one. "Why are you so persistent in spending time with me?"

He kept quiet and instead, stared at me. I waited impatiently for his answer. When he didn't respond I shrugged. "I don't understand."

"I want to know who you are."

I let an exasperated sigh escape. A bitter smile appeared, and I evaded Eddie's gaze.

"But you know me already."

"I don't. Not at all." He said it with a hush tone, like, this fact saddened him. Eddie leaned forward and I felt the small shivers run down my spine when his hands grasped both of mine. His lips gently rested on my hands. He gave them both a light kiss before letting me go. That was the second time today he did that, and it was the hundredth time he stole my breath. I felt my heart heavily beat against my rib cage. The gesture was so intimate, and I wasn't used to it. I don't think I ever will be.

"I just want to learn all your secrets, all your dreams, all your fears. I want to know you."

"That's a little creepy." I clasped my hands together.

"Maybe," he shrugged, "I don't know. I can't really describe it, Loren. I just have this desire that I need to know you."

"I'm Loren Tate."

He looked at me intently. "Not your name. Not what you look like. Not what school you go to. Just you," he sighed and smiled tenderly. "What you like. What you hate with a passion. What music you listen to when you're happy, sad, nervous or mad. Your fears. Your nightmares. Your aspirations. Your favorite childhood memory. Everything that makes you who you are."

"My story?" I swallowed bitterly.

"Your story."

I leaned back on the chair and nibbled on the piece of toast bread. Eddie looked intently at me. Silence overwhelmed us and nothing was said, except the chattering and blatant commotion surrounding us. But we were both oblivious to it as we tuned it all out and focused on each other.

"So, Loren Tate, what is your story?"

"My story," I smiled reluctantly as I looked at my reflection on the metallic creases surrounding the silverware. Painful memories flashed back. "My story is my story."

Eddie sighed in disapproval. "I'm not giving up you know."

"It's better if you do."

"Loren - "

"And what's your story?" I shook away the memories. I focused on Eddie. He wanted to keep talking about me, but he knew that was futile. I will never be ready to tell him about "my story." I don't want him to run away. Not yet at least.

"Well, that's not fair, is it? I'll tell you mine when you tell me yours."

"Then I guess we're not meant to learn each other's story."

Eddie unwillingly let it go completely but shot me a warning glare. I shrugged it off and began to take in my surroundings. I found myself in the middle of an overcrowded restaurant filled with Hollywood's most vile and wealthiest. I carefully studied some of the woman as they couldn't keep their eyes away from Eddie. They're beautiful, impeccable beings who obviously used their body to their advantage as their mid length, tight dresses showed. For a second, I was jealous of the confidence they carried. I heard the hushed and rushed gossip between them as they would shoot me glares.

I felt so out of place.

I didn't fit in here. Not with all the glamour and the exposed perfectness that these people showed off. I looked at Eddie again. Hedidbelong here. He reeked of self-confidence. I bet he sweated it too. But unlike the others, he didn't demand attention. It found him without him trying. I noticed the frown on his face. Did he notice the attention we were getting, too?

"Mr. Duran?"

I was taken away from my tumult as the raspy and faked sweetness grasped me out of it. I looked up to our waitress and finally noticed her. She was a pretty red head smiling provocatively at Eddie. She was wearing a tight dress that could've been a second skin to her. Her black apron was tiny as well. And her dress was cut too low on both ends, she screamed of cleavage and a bumpy behind. She looked good, I couldn't deny. I felt self-conscious and played with the hem of my dress as I compared myself to the woman. Where she was full and thick, I was not. Was she the type of girls Eddie liked? I glowered at the thought. What do I care what kind of women he likes? She leaned down - too much if you asked me - and turned all her attention to Eddie. Completely ignoring me. I grew small and non-existent. I bit my lip and I watched as he smiled politely at her. He kept his gaze on her face, and that made me feel a little better. Not that I was feeling bad before.

"Here is your cheesecake," I swear she purred. "Do you need anything else?"

Eddie shook his head and turned to look at me. His smile was sweet. "Loren?"

"I'm good. Thanks." I said it harsher than I intended as I ate a spoonful of cheesecake. Eddie's smile widened; I couldn't figure out why. The waitress didn't even spare me a glance. Our eyes never left each other. We knew we should've looked away because that was just weird. We would've never looked away if it wasn't for the waitress clearing her throat. We both warily looked at her. She smiled seductively at Eddie. He gave her an irritated look.

"Check, please." It was Eddie who spoke. She looked between us before nodding disappointedly and leaving quickly. I noticed I had already eaten half the cheesecake and Eddie hadn't had any. "Here have some," without thinking, I pushed my spoon towards Eddie. He stared at the cheesecake being pushed to his face. Realization and mortification struck me, "Oh, I'm sorry. You probably don't want to share the same spoon as me." Eddie gave me no time to pull away when he grabbed my wrist and ate the cheesecake. He let go of my wrist and nodded appreciatively. "Can't say no to sweets when you're the one offering." I was mortified, and that was putting it lightly. I ate the rest of cheesecake in silence.

I heard an obnoxious shutter coming before me. Looking up, I pressed my eyebrows together as I stared at Eddie looking at his screen. He smiled softly at the screen.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing."

He quickly put his phone down. I raised my eyebrow and shook my head in disbelief.

"You creep. Give me your phone."

"No."

I tried snatching it from the table, but he was faster and grabbed it before I did. To his surprise, I kicked his leg which prompted him to drop his phone. I snatched it before he did. I turned the phone over and looked at the picture. I stared at the screen and braced myself as it was the first time that I saw a picture of myself in years. Complete sadness was written all over my features even with the small smile lingering, traces of sadness were evident. I restrained the frown, and Eddie lifted my chin with his finger. His sparkling brown eyes traced every inch of my eyes.

"How does that song go? Absolutely story of a girl who looks sad in photographs." I was going for a light tone, but my voice gave the slightest crack. Eddie didn't miss it. "Nonsense, that's not what I see." I didn't need to ask him what he saw because he told me exactly that some days ago in a small boutique somewhere in Tarzana. I wish I could see myself like he sees me. I wish I were as brave as he thinks I am.

His fingers gently danced on my cheek. I let him hold me for a moment, before I gave him back his phone. The waitress came back with a black envelope that had the check. She placed it on the table. I gave her the slightest of my attention before looking back at Eddie. There was tension between us. She sensed it. He gave her his credit card and she left with a smile.

Eddie sighed and I felt his eyes look at me with outmost determination.

"I'm not going anywhere and I'm keeping that picture."

I wanted to say I didn't care what he did with the picture, but that would be a lie. I wanted to tell him that I didn't care if he left or not. That would also be a lie. I couldn't bring myself to lie to him. Saved by the bell, Eddie's phone started ringing.

"Hey Jake," I heard Eddie answered as I finished the last of my coffee. "Right now?" I felt his gaze on me. "It's not a good time. Can't we reschedule?" A couple moments passed by until he spoke again. "Fine, I can be there in an hour." Eddie finished his call and looked at me apologetically.

"That was my manager. Unfortunately, our time together is cut short. I have an impromptu meeting with my label."

"It's okay." I mumbled, a little disappointed our time is up. "I understand duty calls." I said clearer this time and suddenly had confidence for more honesty. "Thank you for breakfast, you helped bring my appetite back." I leaned in closer which prompted Eddie to lean in. "And I'll admit, I needed a break from school, so this was nice."

Eddie's smile was instantaneous. "Let's do this again, I like spending time with you, Loren." We left the restaurant, and as I walked next to Eddie, with his hand on my back, guiding me out of the restaurant, shielding me from paparazzi, I wondered for a second what would happen if I reached for his hand and held it in mine.

1:15 P.M.

"Hi mom."

"Oh, you're home early. You didn't go to school?"

"I did, but I played hooky."

"What?"

"I spent my morning with Eddie Duran."

My mom placed a hand on her hips and raised her eyebrows. I flipped through the pages of my book as she waited for me to start laughing and yell "gotcha." I didn't and her eyes widened in surprise. "Oh, you're serious." I nodded and she sat down. "So, mind telling me how you know Eddie Duran?"

"We met a couple years back."

"Oh? Why didn't you tell me about him before?"

I sighed and closed the book. I stood up and walked towards my room. "Don't worry. He's not going to be around for long." I felt my mom's gaze burn through me. I didn't put much thought into what she was thinking. I entered my room and shut the door. I threw myself on the bed. I grabbed my phone from my nightstand and went to recent calls. My finger hovered over his name, and before I could press it to call him, I quickly locked my phone screen and placed the phone on my nightstand. I covered myself with the bed comforter.

His words were replaying in the back of my head, and I tried to extinguish any hope that rose from his words. Closing my eyes, I listened intently to my breathing. And soon, his words made their way back. I fell asleep thinking of his chocolate eyes staring adoringly at me.

I'm not going anywhere.