Chapter 8

Falling into You

I laid on the bed. The covers were on top of me, protecting me from the frigid cold the air conditioner was producing. My nerves were slowly calming down as the warmth of my bed brought serenity, but I wasn't completely tranquil. My rabid beating heart was slowly going back to normal, and I closed my eyes for a fraction of a second. I ignored Melissa rummaging through the things scattered on the floor.

"Jesus, Loren where did you drop the damn envelope!"

I sighed as I remember how I had said the most unexpected yet inevitable moments ago. I need Eddie. I wish I could take it back. If I could travel through time, if I had the power to do so I would, without a doubt, go back to the time I said these three words. I would've prevented them from slipping out of my mouth. But that's the problem; I was conscious of what I was saying. The carnage vanished, and I remembered how my body instantly stopped trembling from earlier events, I remember how everything that was going on in my mind, every havoc dispersed. It vanished from my head and only one thing had become clear: Eddie.

I quietly sat up and leaned back on my bed's white, wooden frame. My eyes followed Melissa. She was placing back books on the shelf, simultaneously looking for the white envelope Eddie had sent me. I nibbled on my bottom lip and found myself looking around at the room as well. Complete chaos had overtaken me. Everything that used to be on the wall was on the floor, along with clothes, books, trophies, and bags. Drawers were all open. The only thing left untouched was the bathroom.

"Seriously Lo, do you have any idea where you dropped it?"

"It should be somewhere around here," I muttered, and Melissa nodded continuing to inspect my room. I should call Eddie. Whatever was on that envelope, I'm sure he wouldn't mind saying it to me. I longed to hear his voice again. I needed him to tell me that everything was okay. I wished that he was right here comforting me and just holding me. I desired for his presence and yearned to be in his arms and feel secure and protected from all the demons that always come out and scourge me. I can't shake these feelings and thoughts away, and honestly, because I've decided to be honest with myself, I didn't want to.

I felt Melissa sit on the edge of the bed. She clutched the fabric and looked at me with a gentle smile. I averted my gaze to her, and she pressed her lips together. A sigh escaped and she fell backwards on the bed. "You know, you can call him." She whispered. "Why don't you? You need him after all."

"I didn't mean it." I lied. Melissa sat up and looked at me questionably. "Are you seriously going to try to hide your feelings? Loren, I know what you said, and I know that you meant it. So, call Eddie and clear things up with him."

I shook my head. Melissa groaned and suddenly stood up. She walked over to the mayhem I had done. She kneeled and began folding shirts. I watched her, quietly battling with my mind. After some time, I rubbed my face with my hands and shivered when the covers fell on the floor and the cold was exposed. But I didn't even attempt to recover them. Instead, I automatically stood up and walked over to my Jansport. As I sat back on my bed, legs, crisscrossed, I gently played with the zipper, undecisive for a moment, before pulling my phone out.

"What's this?" I heard Melissa murmur. "Oh! Here." Melissa tossed a small white cloth. I caught it and scrutinized it carefully. A small smile formed on my face as I noticed the letters engraved on it. I traced it and apprehensively placed it on my lips. I closed my eyes and sighed as I remembered the first time we met. Of course, I would remember his hankie. I opened my eyes and stared at the phone that was being gripped by hand. And I was clear of what I was to do.

I turned on the phone and the screen illuminated, vibrations followed, and a cute emoticon appeared. Melissa was now aware of the phone on my hand, and she quickly sprinted onto my bed. She sat next to me and impatiently waited for me to dial his number. I tapped on the screen for a moment. That moment was too long for Mel since she grabbed the phone from me.

"Whoa." She looked at the screen and a low whistle escaped her mouth. "He was desperate to get in touch with you. 20 calls and 16 messages. Lucky you that he doesn't know your address." Silence reigned for a moment before I spoke. "Do you think it was wrong for me to ignore him?"

I expected her to answer me right away. To be quick fired and tell me "Yes." But she unexpectedly kept quiet for a moment. She shrugged. "Yes, " she started, "but I can only imagine what was going on in your head at that time and I know that you weren't thinking properly. So, I don't blame you for ignoring him because I know that it really hurt you. And once you're hurt, you don't want that to happen again." She sighed, "But now, I think, you know better. I know that you're afraid, but you need to talk to Eddie."

"I want to hear the messages first."

"Are you sure?" Melissa pushed. "Because the messages can wait, the call right now is more important if you ask me." I shook my head. "Messages." She sustained her groan and began to tap on my phone. She didn't listen to me. She was calling Eddie as soon as I looked up and saw her rummaging through my contacts. I didn't protest and instead waited for her to find his name. I waited for her to dial Eddie, and he would soon be on the phone. I would soon be able to hear his voice again. I grew anxious at that thought. Before she dialed his number, her phone buzzed. She groaned and she brought her right index finger up, telling me to wait a second. I watched as she looked at her screen, confused. Her mouth parted and nudged.

"Mel," I called.

She looked over at me and her demeanor took a complete turn. A mischievous grin appeared, and her body giddied up. "Eddie changed his MK concert date. Now it's on Sunday." My eyes grew wide. My heart palpitations began to increase, my thoughts went wild, and I knew what this meant.

"We're going."

I knew I had no say in this.

"Loren,"

I recognized his voice instantly. I watched Melissa silently study some dresses to distract me from the jolt my heart made. I watched as she scrutinized the dresses and placed the ones that she didn't find alluring back on the closet. She turned around and motioned her head to the small nightstand that was placed next to my bed. Melissa decided at the last minute to play his voicemail to put some context to what the last 24 hours have been for him. All I heard was the helplessness in his voice. He was silent, and then I heard his voice; it was powerful, determined and he spoke in a slow manner. And I took in every word he said. The urgency he evoked caused my body to freeze.

"We need to talk about yesterday."He paused for a moment and a hoarse breath escaped his lips. "I need to talk to you."I closed my eyes to pay attention to every intonation, every breath, every sigh, in his voice. " Nothing is happening between Chloe and me. We're over. Please don't believe anything she told you."I crawled towards the nightstand. My ears listening intently to his voice. His breathing quickened and I leaned back and looked up to the ceiling. My eyes were fixated on the white grain but my mind prolonged to be with him. I pulled my knees close to my body, intertwined the fingers on my hands and wrapped my arms around my legs, locking them in place. "You have no idea how much it kills me,"his voice cracked, "that I hurt you. I didn't mean to, Loren. I didn't want any of this to happen. I wish I could take it back. I wish that I'd never allowed Chloe to go in. I wish that I'd never let her get close enough to kiss me."

Why didn't you? What held you back? What was going on in your head when it happened? So many questions in my head. I blinked a couple of times and without my permission, a couple of tears flowed down my cheek. My vision blurred for a second. I began to think, what if I never went to that hill on that fateful day? What if I never met Eddie? What if he never met me? Would I be where I am right now? Would I be on the peak of breaking apart at any given moment? Would I still be Trent's prisoner? Or would I be liberated from him but for the worse, still falling into the depths of my own demons? What would've happened if I had never met Eddie?

As much as thought about it. As much as I wanted to lean on the latter, which was to never know him, never know his laugher, to never appreciate his caresses and firm embraces. I found myself not able to imagine how my life would be without him now that he managed to push himself in it. I couldn't picture myself going through a day without a thought of him. I couldn't imagine not calling him at 5 o'clock in the morning after my nightmares. The idea of never seeing him again was more painful than the thought that he might not feel the same way as I do.

I needed him almost like he was a vital organ within my body and without him, I couldn't seem to breathe. I need him to finally inhale a breath of fresh air and leave all my troubles behind. I hate it. I hate how dependent I had become of him.

"She caught me by surprise," he exhaled out, "She's no longer allowed in my apartment. I've removed her from the guest list. I should have done that weeks ago." I didn't know what to think at his revelation. My own feelings confounded me; for a second, the hurt I was feeling dwindled down and I got a moment of clarity. Now one thing became clear, I trusted Eddie. I believed him and I shouldn't have run away. "Call me. Please, Loren, give me a chance."

A small, pessimistic part of me wished that he would leave me alone once and for all because even if I believed him, the pain blinded me. The rest of me wished he would come in barging through that door and rescue me from Trent's haunting spirit, Adriana, and myself. Because it's never really been them who torment and inflict affliction in me. It was always me. I never let Trent's horrific memories go. I let them linger within me and nightmares came to surface every single night. I let Adriana bring me down. I could've ignored her; I could've walked away every time she began to attack me, instead I stayed. I stayed and listened to her. It was always my fault for letting her get to me. At the end of the day, it has always been and will be my own doing.

"And that's message number one out of the many voicemails he sent you." Melissa whispered. Her quick feet walked over to the table, and she picked up the phone. Her eyes fixed on my form; she looked at me for a moment before she looked back at the mobile. "So, do you want to call him now or keep listening to his messages?"

I wanted to call him, but what would I say? Melissa took my silence as hesitation "Please don't tell me you still doubt Eddie?" I heard her sigh. She placed the phone down on the nightstand.

"What if he hurts me again? How can I trust him not to?"

"Yeah. I know a lot about trust. And you know how hard it is for me to fully trust people. He did hurt you," she didn't disagree, "but it wasn't intentional. My judgment tells me that Eddie only wants the best for you. He's so understanding and patient with you considering he doesn't even know what happened to you."

"Don't even dare." I whispered. My ears rang burned from that thought. Melissa sat next to me. "He has to know."

"No, he doesn't." I looked away from Mel.

"Loren, he has to know at some point."

"No." He can't know. What will he think of me? How will he view me? He can't know about my past. I won't argue that there were some moments I wanted to tell him all my secrets, but I never did. I was afraid that he would leave me if he ever found out.

She heaved a sigh and got off from my bed. She hesitated for a moment and before she walked back to the closet. "You know that I won't give up on you. You should also know that he won't give up on you either. He's not leaving any time soon and I don't think he ever will. You need to accept the fact that he does truly cares about you. Deep down you know it too. You're just too stubborn to admit it. Your past is not going to deter his feelings for you."

I down casted my eyes and fidgeted with the hem of my shirt as I contemplated her words. True or not, it's alluring to believe them, but that would mean getting my hopes high. Getting my hopes high meant another possibility of disappointment down the drain. Would I be able to take it? I don't think I can.

"Turn on the TV, will you? Your silence is giving me the creeps or call Eddie. The latter sounds better!"

I picked up the control remote and watched the TV's black screen shimmer with white. My vision adjusted to the new source of light, and I watched the screen before me. "Go to TMZ!" I groaned and flipped through the channels. I placed the control beside me and watched a brunette, curvy woman talk to me. She had a flirtatious smile; her hands were on her hips and her hot pink dress flowed down. She had heels too high for my own comfort and her black eyes gleamed with delight. She began speaking and I wanted nothing more to drown.

"Today in TMZ, we have the hottest and most chased after news. You guessed it folks, Eddie Duran and Drama."

Melissa sat next to me in no time and watched the TV with genuine interest. I became smaller by the second as I watched pictures of him flashing through my screen.

"As we all know Eddie Duran has been found wondering around with his new 'friend'" She emphasized with air quotes, and I wanted to cover myself. "Is she really a friend? Or is she something more to our Eddie? Look at the pictures that were taken between these two wondering off and about in Ruby's Breakfast Club, her school, and some even spotted them locked hand in hand walking over a hill. Ladies and gentlemen, do I sense a new romance brewing?"

Several pictures were shown; one in the restaurant, the other one at school with Eddie's arms wrapped tightly around me; a couple of him helping me get into the car. Another one was us walking over Griffith Hill and our hands were interlaced. But that didn't really get my attention, what did was my face. I looked so calm, almost peaceful in all the pictures.

The last picture showed us again on the hill. Eddie's gaze was fixed on me. There was that familiar gentle look on him that I hadn't noticed as I was looking away pointing at something. When did it happen? When were our hands ever intertwined? How did it happen? It suddenly dawned on me. It was the day he proclaimed me as his Valentine's, the day he told me he was never leaving. We were walking back down the hill, and he tentatively brushed his hands against mine. "Look over there."He pointed over to the other side of the hill and I became indefinitely lost in the millions of kites floating in the air, each held by string and controlled by an innocent child. I looked at them with fascination as I always wanted to fly one myself, but my childhood never allowed it. "It's a sight, isn't it?"I nodded in agreement. "Never really seen this firsthand so I guess I find it beautiful."He chuckled lightly. "It is, but not as beautiful as you look right now."I kept my gaze and my blush away from his view. I accidentally bumped into Eddie's shoulder, and he had taken the opportunity to grab my hand. I felt a firm grip, but I didn't mind it. Instead, I held on to his grip and learned into the warmth he was giving to me.

"But is their relationship on the rocks? Is it a bumpy road right now for these two lovebirds?"A faded yell sounded off from the TV. It was a soft protest behind the scenes. The girl laughed mockingly and shrugged. "Apparently some people in this studio dislike the word "lovebirds" when referring to Eddie Duran with Loren Tate. I like them together, they complement each other. I think it's nice that Eddie Duran is stepping up his game and going for the wholesome girl now. Because people, you must admit, Loren Tate is attractive. That's my opinion; many disagree and believe that Loren and Eddie are wrong for each other. But c'mon Chloe Carter was wrong. Loren Tate is the deal, and Eddie definitely can't get enough."A triumphant smile appeared on her face, and she raised her eyebrows to one of the people behind the cameras. Her eyes averted to the screen, and I felt like she was talking to me. "Loren Tate, what have you done to Mr. Duran? You have him on the edge and desperate for your time and attention."

"I like her."

"Shh."

"Many sources sent me tons of pictures of Eddie Duran waiting at the back of the school that Loren goes to. He waited for three hours straight-"

"Was that today?" I whispered incredulously. Melissa nodded and nudged my shoulder gently. "Told you." I looked over at the TV and she continued speaking. "From the looks of the pictures he looked desperate, but Ms. Tate was nowhere to be seen. Possible avoiding him?" The woman on the TV pouted. "What happened between them? I hope Loren lets him in and they can fix things because I hate to see Mr. Duran in such pain. Don't you? So, to all those Leddie fans- isn't it cute! - send your condolences to Eddie and motivate him to fight for his girl. And Loren, baby, please forgive your man."

I let out a breathless sigh and leaned back. "So, how about that phone call." Mel started and I continued to look at the TV as pictures of Eddie waiting of my school showed. Eddie leaning back in the car, eyes pressed, body tense. Eddie running a hand through his hair, his expression full of emotion. The next, it showed him slouched in disappointment. Eddie and his fans asked for autographs; he, as kind as he was, signed them. I wondered for a moment if one of them went up to him and told him what happened today? Probably not, they could care less.

"Next on TMZ: Chloe Carter interview with Lily Parks."

My eyes fluttered and I was soon staring at a black wavy hair Asian woman staring at the TV. Her piercing red lips were damaging to my eyes, and her smile was malicious. She was the opposite of the previous girl. Chloe Carter replaced Lily Parks face; her smile was twice as conniving. My face stiffened and I watched as she had a smirk on her face. I felt Melissa quickly get a hold of the remote. I placed my hand on hers. "Leave it."

"Loren, I don't think you need to see this."

"Leave it." I repeated.

"Chloe, can you tell us about your breakup with Eddie?"

"What break up? Eddie and I never broke up; we're still going strong and healthy. Sorry girls, he's still taken."

"How delusional can someone be?" Melissa muttered.

"But what about those rumors with Loren Tate."

"They're rumors. Just that. What would Eddie see in that dead beat? She's nothing and Eddie just picked her up from the dirt because he felt sorry for her. He is a very thoughtful person and thought that she needed a friend. When it could be that she deceived him into thinking that, so she could get closer to him. I saw through her lies, I know what she's planning."

"What a manipulative bitch." Melissa said under her breath. I continued watching Chloe spew more lies. Her impeccable form was placed in front of me. Model, actress, gorgeous, and all a man can want. And even being all that, Eddie didn't want her, and that truth hit me so hard that I almost dialed Eddie to ask him to come to me, because he would have been here in a heartbeat. I just had to say so. He didn't want her, and I knew from the way he looked so repulsed after he realized what she had done. I knew from the way he promised to end her career with vengeance. I knew from the way he held me that wrecked day, like I was his world. I knew from the confession where he told me how much I meant to him, but I was too blind to understand it. I knew from his eyes glistening with unshed tears after I told him he hurt me; a face that will haunt me until I see him again.

"So, you think Eddie is doing this out of charity work, to benefit his image?"

"Of course! It's all about your reputation around Hollywood and he needs to uphold it. And anyways,"

"Enough," the TV shut off instantly, and I heard someone exhaling out all their frustration. I looked up and stared into the eyes of my mother. Her face was flushed, and her eyes were full of pain, but her pursed lips set in a thin line told me she was furious.

"We need to talk." She said between her teeth. I watched her walk towards me, and I became smaller and smaller under my mother's scalding stare. "I know everything." I flinched at her tone. "Why didn't you tell me?"

I evaded her question with a question. "Who told you?"

"Eddie." My mother slumped down on the bed. " Why didn't you tell me what happened yesterday?"

No more lies. "I didn't know how to."

"Bullshit, honey."

"That is the truth," I whispered, but she didn't believe me. "What did Eddie tell you?"

"Everything. From the moment Chloe entered his apartment to the moment you left." I pulled the covers up and she shook her head. "No honey, this isn't something you'll be able to hide from." She pulled down the covers, exposing me. "You are going to confront this issue. You are going to resolve things with Eddie, and you are going to let him explain himself."

"I don't deserve him." I said the quiet part aloud and the little revelation made my heart hurt, almost like a knife was being twisted in it.

"Is that what you think? Oh sweetheart," I swear I heard my mothers heart break into a million pieces. "My love, you are not unworthy of someone who truly cares for you the way that boy does because of your past." She suddenly cupped my cheeks and forced me to look at her. The corner of her eyes holding back unshed tears. She looked so beautiful. "What happened to you was not your fault. Get that through your thick head. You are my brave girl, my sweet girl, and I am so sorry I didn't protect you. What happened to you does not make you unworthy of anyone's love."

"But I am." I don't think that feeling will ever go again.

"Am I unworthy of someone who will go through ends of time to be with me, to take care of me?

"Of course not!" I shouted shutting down this stupid thought, my mother deserved everything good in this world.

"Then why can't you deserve it?" I was stunned for a moment. She didn't let me answer, her question didn't require a response. "You're going to listen to what Eddie has to say. What you saw was a lie orchestrated by Chloe. You believed Chloe's lie over Eddie's truth. That poor man doesn't know what to do right now. He came to me spilling his heart out. He didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know. I wish I could go back in time and stay with him. But how can I face him after I took off running first opportunity?"

"If it's forgiveness you think you need, there's nothing to forgive." My mother tenderly caressed my cheek with her thumb and then pulled away. "It was a misunderstanding, a terrible one, but that's all. You need to talk to him. Put his and your mind at ease for a second. You don't think I know how miserable you are right now? You think that everyone is against you, and honey, you need to change that mindset," she exhaled, "I know how much we suffered but we can't let him control our lives. He is gone. He got what he deserved and now we must forget about him and let him go. Trent already took 10 years of our lives, don't let him take more."

I wiped the tears that were rolling down my cheek and my mom gently caressed them. She then sat next to me and scooted closer to me. She wrapped her arms around me and ran her hand through my hair. "Have you heard about the date change in his concert?" I nodded as I wrapped my arms around her small frame, and she tightened her hold. "Eddie did it for you, and I promised him you will be going."

"Okay." I wanted to see him again. My mom nodded in satisfaction. "Good, I trust Eddie and you should too." She quietly stood up and kissed my forehead. "Melissa, you're in charge of putting an outfit together. We're leaving in an hour."

I looked at her in an instant. "I thought the concert was on Sunday." She smiled and shook her head. "No honey, that's another one, this one is exclusively for you."

She left where she had barreled in from, and Melissa walked over to me. She extended her arm, and I took it. "Let's go see, Eddie."

"Don't tell my mom." I whispered as Melissa gasped in horror and gently traced my back, a little below my waist. "Please don't." The last thing I needed was for Melissa to break down because then I wouldn't be able to hold it together. I felt her hand no longer my back. "How did it happen?"

I shrugged and began slipping on the black, ruffled max dress. "It was always the same situation. He was drunk and furious. He took his anger out on me and," I let out a raspy breath, some memories were just too hard to forget and even more painful to remember. I saw her appalled face from my vanity mirror. Some stories are better left unsaid.

"My mom doesn't know, it's better if it stays that way."

She didn't utter another word and looked at me. She pulled the zipper up of my dress. I saw Melissa visibly shake her head, and then a small smile formed on her face, "You look beautiful. Loren Tate is smokin' hot." She grabbed my hand and motioned me to twirl. I complied to humor her.

"Are you kidding me? I hate my body." I whispered, then took a look of myself in the mirror. I did look pretty, but I wished I were fuller in some specific areas. Mel looked at me for a fraction of a second and a small smile appeared over her features.

"Well, anyone would kill to have it, so appreciate it."

"Nobody wants," I signaled to my body, "me. I prefer to have your body. You're curvy and full in all the right places."

She fixed my curled strand. She had curled my hair, and while it fell to my mid back straight, it was a little below my shoulder curled.

"I never learned to love my body. People now tell me I have a great body, but I was really self-conscious about it during middle school. Years of insecurity does a number on you, and no matter how many people reassure you, you always doubt it." I understood what she meant. "Did you ever hear about Flabby Melly?" She muttered. I pressed my lips together and nodded curtly. "That was me. I was bullied because of my weight. I was always heavier than most girls in school. Flabby Melly was the name they gave me."

"Adriana," I stated instantly remembering the girl who cried in the bathroom every day during lunch. The girl whom kids threw food at and she left running, tears silently rolling down her face. The girl whom people targeted spit balls at her.

"She was the worse instigator, among others," I saw her eyes glisten, "A lot of them apologized to me when we entered high school. I get it, kids do stupid things all the time, but I knew they apologized for selfish reasons, their consciousness was tainted. They thought that a simple "I'm sorry" would fix years of constant bullying. That I would forget because they felt remorseful."

"You still hate them?"

"Of course," she murmured, "but I forgave them. No use in allowing them to get to me. But that doesn't mean I forgot how they treated me. I haven't forgotten how they made me feel, that will never go away." She bit her lip and tears rolled down her cheek. And I had never seen her so vulnerable as I did then. Melissa, the one who is defiant and speaks with so much urgency and authority, is letting her feelings out. Melissa, my best friend.

"I remember you, Loren." She whispered. I looked at her quizzically. "You wondered when and why Adriana started hating you, but it seemed you forgot all the times you stood for me." My eyebrows furrowed and then I started remembering. "You don't remember how you would tell Adriana to shut up and leave me alone every time she started bothering me?" I watched her smile softly as if this memory was sweet to her. "You don't remember how you threw food back at those kids who threw food at me?" A small snippet of a memory crawled back to me. I was so small back in middle school, but I was filled with so much rage. I couldn't control what happened at home, but I could control some aspects of school. Middle school Loren Tate was a menace that even Adriana Masters was afraid of. It came to me then, a bunch of repressed memories. One memory was of me dragging Adriana by the hair as I made her apologize to Melissa.

"Apologize." Adriana squirmed against my grip on her head. I hauled her towards the tear-stained olive skin girl with the most obnoxious clothes, but she was kind to me, so I liked her. I mustered all my strength and pushed the blonde girl to her knees, her forehead almost hitting the floor a few inches away from Melissa's red and white polka dot sneakers. Adriana tried to escape my grip, but I've had practice at home. Although I could never win against his strength, Adriana was smaller and weaker, I could take her.

"I said," I gritted through my teeth as I forced Adriana to look at Melissa, "apologize."

"I'm sorry!" Adriana's screeched her apology, and I could hear the whispers of the kids surrounding us. I looked at Melissa, and after composing herself of her shock, she nodded. Satisfied that she was satisfied with the apology, I pushed Adriana to side, finally letting her hair go. "Now get the fuck out of here." She wasted no time scrambling up to her feet and disappearing from the playground.

I looked at Melissa for a moment to make sure she was okay, and then I turned around, away from the crowd.

"Oh god, I made her get on her knees?" Where did that girl go? Melissa laughed filled the bathroom. "Yes ma'am, and you become my superhero. It was so cool, the way you just strutted over, dressed in all black, forcing Adriana to her knees. You were so tiny back then, Loren. She was a foot taller and 20 pounds heavier than you, but you put her on her knees like she was nothing."

"I forgot," how could I forget. Melissa cocked her head to the side, "I'm not surprised, you were going through a lot back then. Your mind tried to protect you and repressed a lot of your elementary and middle school days." Melissa gently fixed the fabric around the slit of the dress. "But I remember you, and you were baddest, coolest, and kindest girl in our grade. You really did protect me throughout middle school."

My arms wrapped around her. I felt her stiffened, but then melt in my arms. "I wish I could remember. I am sorry you went through that." I whispered a tear running down my cheek. She shook her head. "Don't cry! I am much better. Honestly." She clutched on the fabric of my dress and shook me gently. "You're ruining your make up and you're making me cry." I broke our embrace. She quickly wiped my tears with a tissue. As soon as she was satisfied, she grabbed something from the bathroom counter. "Here, I found this while looking for accessories." She shoved the envelope into my hands. I held it tentatively; it was something from Eddie. I never got him anything from Valentine. Distractingly, I touched my chest, a little over where my collarbones met. This caught Melissa's attention, I felt her eyes widen.

"Loren," She whispered. I looked up and met her gaze in the mirror but she wasn't looking at me. Instead, she was looking straight at my collarbone. I swallowed and knew where this was headed. "Where's the necklace?" I clutched the white envelope and laughed nervously. "I don't have it." Melissa groaned and shook her head in condemnation. "Are you serious? Did you lose it?"

"I didn't lose it," I whisper.

"Then where is it?"

I exhaled then shrugged. "I gave it back to Eddie."

A heard a groan and Mel ran a hand through her curly hair in disbelief. "Are you for real?" She stalked out of the room and left me all to myself. I suspired and scrutinized myself in the mirror. A small smile made its way as I stared at the stranger in the mirror, she was pretty with her long, ruffled black maxi dress. I looked at the right leg exposed to the mid-thigh by the slit in the dress. Melissa was right I looked good, and for a moment, I viewed myself as something other than plain.

My dress flowed back behind me as I clutched on both Melissa and my mother's arms. They both chuckled as I tried my best to walk in the three-inch heels. "How the hell do people walk in this?" I cursed and ventured down the sidewalk. My hair flowed backwards as the wind blew, and I held my breath as I made outMKin huge letters. I swallowed and I felt my grip intensified. "Relax." My mom whispered and I nodded, not completely paying attention to her. My heart began pounding as we walked in, my forehead began sweating small droplets and I found myself that I couldn't breathe. I bit my bottom lip, and tasted cherries, thanks to my lip-gloss. To say I was nervous would be an understatement, but I needed to see him.

As we entered the club, I noticed how spacious it was, but it felt welcoming. First thing that greeted me was the bar in the middle of the club. There were tables sections out around the club and they all faced the small stage at the furthest end, parallel to the bar. It wasn't dark in the bar, but there was no overhead lighting. There were lamps around the walls with warm tone lights, giving the club a warm ambiance. It felt homely, I didn't feel out of place in this club, and it wasn't because I was dressed for the occasion, it simply gave off that vibe.

After I took in the layout, I noticed the club was empty. Only a petite blonde woman was standing behind the bar. She greeted us with a welcoming smile, and I felt the 'feel at home' atmosphere. I reciprocated her smile, and saw her eyes trail down my body, then she winked at me. I nodded at her, before turning to my mom. She pushed me forward. "Go, I'll go find Max." I quizzically looked at her, "Max Duran, Eddie's father." She didn't let me respond as she was gone right away. I walked with my 'impossible to walk' heels towards the front line of the stage. I watched the stage and a girl and a man setting up the stage. In the center there was this exquisite, grand, black piano. I began walking away, still no sign of Eddie.

"You must be Loren." A husky voice said. I turned around and I met alluring green eyes. He flashed me with a smile. I felt intimidated all of a sudden. He was attractive, very, but something about him was different. It could've been the mischievous smile or the glint in his gorgeous green eyes. The drink he had on his hand was placed on the counter and he trailed down my body. "Not bad. Duran boy has good taste." Our eyes met and he took a step closer. I recoiled instinctively, not feeling comfortable with our proximity. The man took notice of this, and he instantly placed a two feet distance between us. I appreciated this and I think the relief was evident on my face.

"I don't bite, babe."

"Right," I sighed, "I'm Loren Tate."

"I know pretty well who you are considering that you've been the topic of every conversation I have had with Eddie." He picked his drink up and took a chug. "Now I see why he is crazy about you. I think I am fan of you, Loren Tate."

"Yet I still don't know who you are."

"Ouch." He dramatically placed his hand on his chest and playfully flinched. "That hurt but I guess it'll do. Tyler Rorke. Eddie Duran's best friend."

"Excuse me mate, I think you're speaking about me."

A distinct British accent sounded off and a man with dashing blue eyes flung his arm around Tyler's shoulder and looked at him for a moment and then averted his gaze to me. He grinned, and he also had a handsome face. I am in a room filled with unrealistically good-looking people. Tyler spared him a glance before looking back at me. His eyes trailed down to my neck, and he nudged his friend. They both looked at me and a frown was on their faces. Dashing eyes and Tyler nodded in disapproval.

I placed my hands on my bare neck, missing the necklace Eddie gave me. I remembered how I had shoved it in his hands before leaving the apartment. I had taken it off and as soon as those words escaped my mouth, I gave it back to him. "You're hurting me."I had told him. "You're hurting me…"Did I mean it? I didn't really think those words would really have such a huge impact on him. I didn't think he would take it to heart. But I also didn't think I would be here or anything that had happened for that matter. I put away the turmoil in my head, I was here because Eddie still wanted to be around, and that was enough for now.

"You're excuse. Now leave me and Ms. Tate alone. We were catching up on the introductions and now we're going to break the ice."

Blue eyes pushed green eyes, and he looked at me with a genuine smile. Ian was about to lean closer to me, before Tyler stopped him. "Don't forget to keep your distance, Tiede. I forgot for a second."

What? I was about to ask what they meant by that, almost as if they received instructions to not get too close to my personal space. Blue eyes didn't give me time to voice my questions.

"Ian Tiede, at your service Ms. Loren Tate."

"Aw Ian, is that how you win women by being all gentlemanly."

"I don't like your strategy. The whole bad boy act is revolting. Don't be deceived Loren, he still sleeps with his blanket named Blankie. Creative lad we have here." He patted his back and Tyler scowled at him. I giggled as I watched them banter. I liked them, and if they were Eddie's friends, it meant they were good people. I could trust them.

"Ah, that's the pretty laugh Eddie is always talking about." Tyler mentioned gently. I raised my eyebrows, and I was about to ask him to elaborate when someone yelled.

"Loren! The show is about to start!"

Melissa's blustering voice trailed behind me. She stood next to me and looked at me with a concerned look in her face. I smiled as her hair was curled up and she was wearing light make up today. Her dress was nothing too flashy, well for her at least. A tight, short, ruby red dress hugged her figure. It complemented her curves, and she accessorized it with a couple of colorful bracelets and her black pumps added height to her. She squeezed my shoulder reassuringly and I nodded.

We turned to the boys, and Ian and Tyler were ogling Mel. Ian stepped forward but Tyler pushed him back. After a glare and a scowl, they looked back at Mel. Tyler winked at her, Ian smiled suggestively, both completely checking her out. Mel looked at them for a moment, contemplated how attractive they were and turned back on me. "He's on in a minute. Are you ready?"

"It's not a big deal, Mel."

"Well for Ed it is." Ian spoke. I looked at them and their playful demeanor faded. Tyler spoke this time, "Don't be fooled Loren, this means a lot to him."

"And I'm positive it means a lot to you too." Ian said, capturing my attention. I nibbled on my lip and gently gripped a handful of my dress with my free hand. All of a sudden, the lights went off.

"Loren?" I turned around to a sudden voice calling me, its owner was standing beside me. I looked up and met a man in his early fifties, gray hair was becoming evident, but his blue eyes still had this spark in them. It made him look young and again, I am in a room filled with good looking people.

"Hi," I said shyly recognizing who he was. He smiled warmly. He made motion to get closer to me but stopped himself just like Ian and Tyler had. "It's so great meeting you! I've heard a lot about you." I returned the smile. This was the man who raised Eddie to be the wonderful human being he is, for that I would always be grateful. "I would love to have lunch or dinner with you to get to know you." He leaned a little closer, still keeping a respectful distance, "Give Eddie a chance, please." Was all he said before quietly disappearing from my side.

After he left, I realized I was the only one in the front line, Tyler and Ian were gone. Mel had left my side. I saw my mom and Max by bar that was in the middle of the club. I was the only one who stood at a proximity to the stage.

I held my breath as the room turned quiet. The only light in the club was the one above the piano. I swallowed as I heard footsteps making their way into the stage. My mind began to tumble back and forth from anxiety, from unspoken apologies, from regret. I closed my eyes for a second to quiet my thoughts. When I heard nothing from my mind and the world around me, I slowly opened them and looked up the stage.

I was finally able to breathe.

His wonderful sparkling brown eyes met mine. These past twenty-four hours have felt like a thousand years. I smiled shyly at him and then I watched as relief washed over his face, and the tension on his shoulders seemed to condense. His wonderful smile took over his face, and he looked so happy to see me.

"I'm sorry," I moved my lips without uttering a noise. You could hear pin drops in this club, and I wanted this moment to be ours.

Eddie's mouth moved and I deciphered the words, "You came."

I wrapped my arms around my chest, to keep me from running towards him and jumping into his arms. God, how bad I wanted to. Eddie winked at me, the smile never disappearing. I bit my bottom lip to stop the stupid smile on my face. He was so handsome. How I was able to run away from his hold yesterday as he whispered mere centimeters from my mouth, I didn't know. I watched him sit on the piano bench. He cleared his throat, and I stood there looking at him look at me. I felt as if we were the only ones in the room. It was only him and me.

Before he began playing, his gaze left me for a moment. He exhaled and kissed his right hand in a fist. Looking up, he pointed towards the sky. He positioned himself and our eyes were once again locked on each other. He began his ballad, music filling the room, and his sweet soulful voice reaching me.

What I would do
To see you again
What I would say
For the first time

Cause time is on a thread
You don't know what you lost and broken
Turn your head away but it's pretty safe to say
I was foolish

I want you, I need you
There's nothing I would change

I'm falling into you
I'm falling into you
There's nothing I can do
I'm breathless without you
So I will breathe in and breathe out

What I would do
To feel you again
I'm standing on the edge
And I know that you're my ledge
And I hold
And I hold

I see you, I feel you
There's nothing I would change

I'm falling into you
I'm falling into you
There's nothing I can do
I'm breathless without you
So I will breathe in and breathe out
So I will breathe in and breathe out

You can't have what you can't touch
And it hurts, babe
Some birds are too bright to cage
It's so strange how the strong ones
Are the first ones but I don't want you to fall

I'm falling into you
I'm falling into you
There's nothing I can do
I'm breathless without you
So I will breathe in and breathe out
So I will breathe in and breathe out

The stool slid back, falling on the floor. It all happened so fast. It all went so fast. I fluttered my eyes, blinked a couple of times, and found myself lifted off the ground. His muscular arms were wrapped around me, holding me like he was scared I would float away. I felt his face bury on my neck, his breath tickling me, and I slowly wrapped my arms around his neck. My right hand found refuge in his head. As I gently caressed his black locks, he breathed like the weight on his shoulders came off. I don't know how long we stayed wrapped in each other's embrace, and I didn't care. His hold was a little bit tighter than mine and I never felt secure like I do now. I can breathe. I realized how foolish I was.

I should've never doubted him.

A tear rolled down, then another one, and before I could stop them, I was crying in his arms.

"I'm sorry." He apologized. I shook my head and hugged him tighter. "No, I'm sorry." I whispered in his ears. He didn't listen. My sweet Eddie was taking all the blame. "I'm sorry." My tears didn't seem to stop. "I'm sorry."