A/N: This fic contains potentially triggering subject matter including but not limited to: suicidal references, gun violence, sexual trauma, homelessness, drug abuse, depression, homophobia, and cancer. It may contain inaccuracies. No copyright infringement intended. Thanks for reading!

BOOK ONE - PART ONE - CHAPTER FIVE

"So, anyways… you heard the short version of my story. It's your turn," Sam forced a smile. "Catch me up on the last ten years. I get the feeling a lot has happened." She gestured to the mansion they were in.

"'Kay 'kay. Where do I start?" Cat asked.

"I don't know. The beginning, I guess."

Cat nodded in understanding. "Well, you broke my heart when you left. I was depressed for two years, and I've never really been the same," she paused, then continued, "But eventually, Jade and Tori formed JTC with me. Our first music video went viral, and we got famous basically overnight. We've released three albums and done a couple tours since then." Cat paused to gather her thoughts. Then she continued, "Six months ago, Robbie proposed, and we moved into this house together. That's, um… that's about it, I think."

Sam had known about Robbie—she'd read it in a magazine—but hearing Cat confirm it stung a little. "Oh. And Robbie, he… makes you happy?"

Cat looked as if she was holding something back. She was still a terrible secret-keeper. Finally, she lowered the volume of her voice and said, "I want to tell you something. But if I do, you can't tell anyone. Like, anyone. Got it?"

Sam was intrigued and strangely hopeful. "Sure. What is it?"

Cat took a deep breath. "Our engagement was staged. It was a publicity stunt. Robbie's my best friend. I love him, but I'm not in love with him. And he doesn't love me that way either."

"Are you sure? How do you know?" Sam asked, trying not to sound too eager.

"He came out as gay last year," Cat explained. "He has a boyfriend who he sees in secret. We just have to play up the whole couple thing for the fans. It was my agent's idea, because people were getting tired of me being single. So, we faked it."

"Huh." Sam was incredibly relieved, but she didn't let herself show it. "So… you actually are single then, or..?"

Cat gave her a playful smile. "It depends. How long are you staying for?"

Sam was surprised at her forwardness. She chuckled and said, "Well… I don't have anywhere I really need to be…"

It wasn't the first time Sam had said that to Cat. "Well, you're welcome to stay for as long as you'd like. There's plenty of room, as you can probably tell."

"Will Robbie mind?" Sam didn't want to have to deal with competition in any capacity.

"He's been listening to me cry over you for the last ten years. I'm pretty sure he'd be happy just to see me happy," Cat replied. "Does that mean you're staying?"

Sam smiled and gave a small shrug. "Eh, why not."

"Yay! Okay, great. I'll take tomorrow off work, and we can go around and get you all the stuff you need. As long as you're really agreeing to let me help you?" Cat asked hopefully.

Sam didn't mind sacrificing her pride as much as she did ten years ago. "I could probably use a little help," she admitted. There was a long, awkward silence. Sam blurted out the first thing in her head. "Cat?"

"Mm-hmm?"

"You're fucking beautiful." Sam let herself look at her; really look at her. "How are you still single? You've dated, right?"

Cat was flattered, but flustered. "Um, yes. I've dated. Nothing's ever lasted more than a couple months. I have to travel a lot for my job, and it makes things… difficult."

"And you're..?" Sam looked at her questioningly, "You're… straight, right? Or did I totally miss that headline?"

"Well, to the public, I'm straight. But I actually consider myself to be bisexual. I've… really only ever been interested in one woman," Cat explained haltingly. "Otherwise, I've just been with men."

Sam's stomach clenched with hope. "Oh, yeah? And who's this woman, then?"

Cat smiled, making the dimple on her left cheek appear. "Sam, you're silly. You know it's you. I think I made that clear when I kissed you."

"Yeah, I'm not gonna lie; it caught me off guard a little," Sam chuckled. "You have no idea how long I've been dreaming about doing that."

"Was it everything you ever imagined?" Cat teased.

"And more," Sam responded seriously. She sat back in her chair and pushed the bucket of chicken away. "You can have the rest. I haven't been this full in years."

There were still six pucks left. "I'll put it in the fridge for later," Cat told her, doing just that. On her way past, she glanced at the clock. It was nearly 2 am. "Oh, man. It's really late. Do you want to go get some sleep?" Cat asked. "Robbie's probably still waiting up for me."

"You guys share a bed?" Sam couldn't hide the disappointment in her voice.

"Well, yeah, I mean—we cuddle sometimes, but that's all," Cat assured her. "You don't have to worry about that. We're seriously not into each other like that. I promise."

"Hmm." Sam wasn't satisfied with that. She stood up and Cat led her back down the hallway to the spare bedroom.

"So, um… do you have everything you need?" Cat asked, hovering in the doorway. "You can sleep in as late as you want."

Sam surprised both herself and Cat by launching forward and embracing her with a crushing hug. "Thank you. Just… just, thank you, Cat." She hadn't slept in a bed in over a year and the thought of it was already making her emotional. After a minute, she finally managed to back up, sniffling and wiping tears from her eyes. Cat was the only person who had ever been able to draw out this side of her so easily. "Okay. Uh, goodnight, I guess."

Cat kissed her softly on the cheek again. "Goodnight, Sam." She started to leave, but then she stopped, turned around, and their eyes locked. "You'd better be here when I wake up in the morning."

Sam's chest clenched. She quietly replied, "I wouldn't wanna be anywhere else."

Cat seemed satisfied with that. She stepped out and closed the door, shutting Sam inside.