A/N: This fic contains potentially triggering subject matter including but not limited to: suicidal references, gun violence, sexual trauma, homelessness, drug abuse, depression, homophobia, and cancer. It may contain inaccuracies. No copyright infringement intended. Thanks for reading!

BOOK ONE - PART ONE - CHAPTER SIX

Around an hour later, the doorknob twisted and the door to Sam's room slowly creaked open. Cat tiptoed inside, shut it behind her, and made her way over to the bed. Sam was snoring lightly, passed out on her stomach. Cat felt bad for disturbing her—but not that bad. As carefully as she could, she climbed into the bed and slid under the covers next to her.

The movement woke Sam, which resulted in Cat being immediately pinned down onto her back. Sam was grasping for something invisible on her hip. When she realized the weapon she was reaching for wasn't there, she blinked a few times, looking confused. Finally, she backed off, realizing, "Cat? What the hell are you doing?"

Cat giggled. She wasn't afraid of her, and she certainly didn't mind the position they were in. Sam was radiating warmth. "Do you pin down all girls who wake you up like this?" she teased.

Sam hadn't been expecting that. It seemed Cat had gained some confidence over the years. She finally started to move away, but Cat's hand darted out and grabbed her hip. "Wait."

Sam froze in place. "Why?"

Cat didn't answer that with words. Instead, she tilted her chin up and closed her lips over Sam's again. She kissed her softly, taking her time at first. Then she tasted saltiness and realized Sam was crying. She wasn't sure what to make of it. She drew herself away just the tiniest bit and murmured, "Are you okay?"

Sam swallowed thickly, gave a small nod, and whispered, "Better now."

Cat used her thumbs to wipe away the falling tears. "You sure?"

"They're happy tears, Cat," Sam quietly admitted, looking deep in her eyes. "I'm just so glad to have you back."

Cat grabbed both sides of her face, pulled her in, and kissed her again, and then again, and then again. They shifted into a more comfortable position, with Sam fully straddling Cat's hips.

After a while, Sam broke away from her lips and trailed her way down her neck, letting her catch her breath. Her skin tasted sweet where she kissed and nipped at her.

Overwhelmed by the unfamiliar feelings, Cat inhaled sharply, arching her back, letting Sam take the lead. She was praying it wasn't just a dream this time.

Sam's hand slid down Cat's chest and cupped one of her small breasts. They didn't look much bigger than the last time she'd seen her. She gave it a gentle squeeze, making Cat moan softly. Then a sudden dizzying wave of guilt washed over her, and she quickly removed her hand.

Cat whimpered at the loss of contact. She wanted this so badly. She needed this. She had been fantasizing about it for so long. "No, please don't stop…"

Sam didn't want to stop. After everything they'd been through, she wanted to feel as close to Cat as possible. "Are you actually saying you want to..?"

Cat looked up at Sam with lust in her eyes. Then she pulled her down and trailed her tongue from her collarbone up to behind her left ear. "I want you," she whispered, nipping at her earlobe. "I want you to make love to me, Sam Puckell."

Sam choked on a laugh. Cat was still just as adorable as ever. She didn't bother to correct her. But she had to be sure. "Have you ever been with a woman?"

Cat shyly shook her head. "I've only ever been with Robbie. We tried a few times. That's, um, how he figured out he was gay. And that was, like, five years ago."

Sam shouldn't have been surprised, but she was. "Did you like it?"

"No. It was embarrassing, and it hurt really bad, and penises are gross," Cat replied truthfully. "Have you ever been with a man?"

"Uh…" Sam sighed, "Do you remember that guy, Freddie, you met that one time?"

"Freddie Benson?" Cat recalled from way back then, smiling. "You did it with him?"

"Um, not exactly. We tried when we were, like, seventeen. It was before I even met you," Sam confessed. "I freaked out before he even got it, uh… in, so we decided to wait. And then it never happened. But he's the only guy I've ever been with like that; almost, kind of."

Cat was a little afraid to ask, but she couldn't help herself. "And how many… girls have you been with?"

Sam cringed a little. "Um… somewhere between nineteen and twenty-seven."

Cat remarked, "That's a big gap."

"Yeah, I wasn't sober very often during my time with the Obliterators," Sam admitted. "There's lots of nights I don't remember."

"Oh. Who was the first one? Like, your first ever?" Cat wondered.

"My juvie cellmate," Sam replied honestly. "We spent a lot of time on lockdown, and the officers didn't check on us often. I was fourteen."

"Jeez." Cat looked nervous. "Well, that's intimidating." When Sam started to sit up again, she pulled her back down. "But I trust you. Please just take it slow with me?"

Sam almost felt like this was too good to be true. "What… what exactly do you want me to do?"

Cat leaned in close to Sam's ear and quietly, desperately murmured, "Make me feel good, Sam."

Sam's breath hitched. "'Kay." She moved back in and kissed the side of her neck. Then she settled between Cat's legs, wrapping them fully around her hips, and gently began rolling her lower body forward, pressing against her where they both needed it most.

Cat exhaled shakily. She clutched Sam's shoulders, then opened her hands and slid them down. Sam's breasts were quite a bit bigger than her own. She felt curious, but clueless.

Sam could feel Cat hesitating. She broke away from her neck to whisper, "It's okay."

Cat moved her hands down Sam's chest, one on each breast, with a very light touch. Then she panicked and got stuck there. "I… don't know what I'm doing."

Sam decided to make it easier and just tell her what to do. "Grab me harder."

Cat did. She allowed herself to feel Sam's boobs in her hands, massaging them through her shirt. The material was very thin, and she wasn't wearing a bra. Cat felt her nipples stiffen against her palms, and she brushed her thumbs over them several times. Sam gasped and tensed. Cat was proud of herself, but then she was hit with a wave of self-consciousness. "Sorry, my boobs haven't really gotten any bigger. I was hoping, but…"

Sam chuckled. "You don't need to worry about that. I was just flirting with you when I teased you about it all the time before. I actually think they're really sexy."

"Really?" Cat was hopeful.

"Fuck yes." Sam kissed Cat's collarbone. "Can I see them?"

"Can I see yours?" Cat questioned.

Sam nodded. She backed up off Cat and they both sat up. Then they clutched the bottom edges of their shirts and looked at each other. "We'll go at the same time. On three. Ready?"

Cat quietly agreed, "Ready."

"Okay. One..."