A/N: This fic contains potentially triggering subject matter including but not limited to: suicidal references, gun violence, sexual trauma, homelessness, drug abuse, depression, homophobia, and cancer. It may contain inaccuracies. No copyright infringement intended. Thanks for reading!

BOOK ONE - PART TWO - CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Nothing had even been outwardly said yet and Cat was already blushing. She whined, "Please don't make fun, you guys. You weren't even supposed to know that that happened."

"So, you admit that it happened?" Tori playfully challenged her.

Cat exhaled sharply, then whispered, "Yes, okay? Sam made love to me last night. We were emotional, and we had all these pent-up feelings, and..."

"Made love?" Jade was grinning.

Tori sighed and lightly smacked her on the arm. "Stop it. She said not to make fun."

Jade just rolled her eyes. "Okay, well, you have to tell us how it started. Who initiated it? It had to have been her, right?"

"Well… not exactly," Cat answered shyly. "She showed up at my door during the thunderstorm last night. We didn't really talk—I just kind of jumped on her and we started kissing in the rain. And then she carried me inside." Cat felt strangely proud when she saw the shocked look on both of their faces.

Jade was impressed. "I'm not gonna lie; that actually sounds pretty hot," she admitted. "So, then what happened? You guys got busy right away?"

"No. Robbie and Sikowitz were there, so we stopped. And I let Sam have the downstairs bedroom," Cat told them. "But I couldn't sleep, so I went and climbed in bed with her, and, um, things… happened."

"So, you initiated it?" Tori asked in disbelief.

"Well, kind of, I guess," Cat shrugged one shoulder. "Is that bad?"

"It doesn't really surprise me. You've been fantasizing about her for the past decade," Jade remarked.

Cat was blushing again. "I have not!"

Jade looked at her knowingly. She smiled and said, "Must we remind you of the incident—"

"No!" Cat screamed, covering her ears. "You promised you wouldn't talk about it!" The incident they were referring to was one of the most embarrassing moments of Cat's life. She had had a very exciting dream and was moaning Sam's name in her sleep for the better part of an hour one night, during one of their sleepovers a few years back. She was mortified upon waking and couldn't exactly deny anything after that.

"Okay, okay, relax," Jade laughed. "That doesn't matter, now that you've done the real thing. How far did you guys go?"

"How far?" Cat wasn't quite sure how to answer the question.

"Yeah. Like, did you guys have actual sex? Or did you just fool around?" Jade asked.

"Oh, um, we… had sex, yeah," Cat quietly admitted. Her friends were very open about their sex lives, and Cat wanted to fit in. They were looking at her expectantly, waiting for more information, so she sighed and said, "She went down on me."

Tori raised her eyebrows, looked away, and took a long sip of her coffee. As curious as she was, it seemed wrong to think about Cat this way.

Jade seemed amused. "And how was it?"

Cat bit her lip and lowered her eyes. "It was… kind of amazing," she admitted. "I was scared, but she held my hand while we did it, and she took it slow with me. She was really sweet."

Jade smirked. "Big O?"

It took Cat a few seconds to realize what that meant, but then she nearly inaudibly mumbled out, "Um, yeah. Four times."

"Four times? Jeez, it took until my third time with Dylan for me to even have one! How did she manage to do that?" Tori asked incredulously.

"I don't know. It was like nothing I've ever felt before," Cat told them, a bit sheepishly. "They were all back-to-back, too. She's really good with her tongue."

"Did you do anything to her?" Jade questioned nosily.

"Not really. She told me she doesn't like to be touched when she has sex," Cat explained. "She let me touch her everywhere but, y'know, there. She wouldn't even let me look too close." She had a fleeting afterthought that Sam would probably be upset if she knew she was sharing all of this.

"Huh. She's stone?" Jade sounded surprised and intrigued. "Interesting. I never would've guessed."

"What's stone?" Both Cat and Tori asked.

"Stone is when a lesbian only wants to give, and not receive, during sex. It's opposite to a pillow princess, which is when you only receive," Jade explained. She had been openly bisexual since her early teens and knew a lot of queer terminology.

"Oh. Does that mean that's what I am?" Cat asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

Jade laughed. "Well, you said you didn't touch her, right?"

Cat shook her head. "Nowhere really private. Except for her boobs, I guess."

"Then yeah, you could probably consider yourself a pillow princess," Jade teased. "Did she even get off?"

"Mm-hmm." Cat saw no reason to provide them with any more details about that.

"So, she did it herself?" Tori asked, trying to understand. She had no desire to push it as far as Jade, but she was the only one of the three who identified as completely straight, so sometimes it was hard to relate.

"Do you really need to know?" Cat asked, blushing a little.

"Yes," Jade asserted firmly.

Cat sighed and avoided their eyes. If they wanted details, she was going to give them details. "Okay, fine. She did it by herself 'til I was done, and then she kinda climbed on top of me and humped on me 'til she finished too." She covered her face with her hands. "There. Are you guys happy now?"

Jade was covering her mouth and failing to conceal her laughter.

Tori elbowed her. "Stop."

Cat furrowed her eyebrows, blushing hard. "Why is that funny?" She didn't see anything wrong with what she and Sam had done together.

"It's not funny, Cat. Jade's just being mean," Tori reassured her.

"I'm sorry; it's just so hard to think of you doing this stuff," Jade explained, still chuckling. "Are you glad you did it?"

"Are you gonna do it again?" Tori followed up.

"Um, yes. And yes." Cat forced a nervous smile, trying to seem confident. "Probably not tonight, but… soon, maybe. I hope."

"Why not tonight?" Jade asked, confused.

Cat bit her lip. The whole time she'd been here, Sam's situation had been weighing on her. She hoped she was doing okay. "Oh, um… we got some bad news earlier, and Sam's really upset about it. I didn't even want to leave her alone right now, but she needed space and told me to go meet up with you guys."

"What bad news? I thought her coming back would be a good thing," Tori asked.

"Oh, it was. Everything was perfect. But… well, she hurt her shoulder from a motorcycle accident a while ago, so I took her to my doctor, and they did some x-rays…" Cat's throat felt tight just talking about it.

"What, does she need surgery or something?" Jade questioned impatiently. "'Cause that's really not that big of a—"

"No. Her shoulder's fine. They found a lump on her boob," Cat forced the words, "They think she has breast cancer."