A/N: This fic contains potentially triggering subject matter including but not limited to: suicidal references, gun violence, sexual trauma, homelessness, drug abuse, depression, homophobia, and cancer. It may contain inaccuracies. No copyright infringement intended. Thanks for reading!

BOOK ONE - PART TWO - CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

"Oh, good morning, Catarina. Just your usual today?" Yannis asked. He was the worker behind the counter at the neighborhood donut shop.

It was seven o'clock. Cat had woken up a little before her alarm, and she didn't need to get to work until eight. It left her just enough time to surprise Sam with a snack for when she woke up. She was dressed in her pink hoodie and jeans, and the hood was pulled up to cover her hair. She wasn't in the mood to deal with fans recognizing her. "Hey, Yannis. Yeah, the usual is fine," she replied. The usual was just a random assortment of everything the store sold. She was a regular here. "And throw in a couple extra of the maple bacon bars, please." Those were Sam's favorite.

"No problem." Yannis typed something into the register, then loaded up a box with fourteen donuts. Cat paid, left a generous tip, and then he handed her the box and said, "Have a nice day."

"Thank you. See you next time." Cat carried the box out of the store and onto the sidewalk. The donut shop was only a block from her house. The walk back was short and uneventful, and soon she was cracking Sam's bedroom door open to peek inside. Sam was still passed out on her back, snoring loudly. Cat tiptoed inside the room and put the box of donuts down on the table. Then she searched for a pen and a piece of paper and started writing out her note.

Dear Sam,
I hope you're feeling better. I have to leave for work, but I'll be home by 5. I got you some donuts if you're hungry. Just try to relax and take it easy today, kk? Don't do anything crazy. And if you need to get ahold of me just find Robbie or Sikowitz and ask to use their phone. Try not to miss me too much. See you later Sam.
XOXO Cat

She left the note on top of the donut box, then quietly exited the room. Trying to put Sam out of her mind for the moment, she left her house and made her way to the studio.

Later that day, Cat, Tori and Jade were in the recording studio, practicing their new single. Cat had been distracted all day but had managed to stay focused enough for everyone else not to pick up on it too much.

They were in the middle of the second chorus when Cat felt her phone buzz in her pocket. She pulled it out, looked at the screen, and then stepped back from her mic. "Um, can we cut it, guys?" She said loudly, taking her headphones off, "I need to take this."

Shawn Quincy, their record producer, was looking at her incredulously. "Is she serious?" he asked Tori and Jade. He was already annoyed that Cat hadn't shown up to work yesterday.

Cat exited the recording room and headed to the very back of the studio where nobody could hear. Then she picked up the call and said, "Hello?"

"I'm sure she has a really, really good reason," Tori assured him.

"Yeah. You know she's not usually like this," Jade put in.

Meanwhile, over in the corner, Cat was listening as a man's voice came over the speaker. "Hello, is this Samantha Puckett?"

"No, but I can talk for her. We signed those papers saying it's okay for me to know her medical stuff," Cat replied.

"What is your relationship to Samantha?"

"Relationship?" Cat had no idea how to answer that question. Then she heard herself blurt out, "I'm her girlfriend." She wasn't sure why she said it. As much as she wanted it to be true, she knew it wasn't.

"And what is your name?"

"Catarina Valentine."

"Uh… I'm almost positive Catarina Valentine is engaged to a man. I don't think she's ever mentioned having a girlfriend. May I ask who's actually speaking, please?"

Cat sighed forcefully. "It's really me, okay? Can't you check her medical charts? My name's in there somewhere."

There was a long pause. Finally, the man said, "Ah, you're right. You've signed the release of information. Is there any way we can speak with Samantha directly, though? This information's a little… sensitive."

"No. She doesn't have a phone, and I'm speaking for her. Tell me what you need to tell me."

"Well… alright," the man reluctantly agreed, probably only because he legally had to. "We've received the results from her biopsy."

"Yeah? And?" Cat's heart was racing, and she already felt like crying.

"Samantha has stage three breast cancer. It's pretty advanced. We need to get her in for removal of the lump immediately—it's an outpatient procedure, so she'll be able to go home afterwards, but it's recommended that we do it as quickly as possible. How does tomorrow morning sound? Nine o'clock?"

"Wait wait wait. Slow down. You're saying she has to have this surgery?" Cat asked. She was getting choked up. "What happens if she doesn't?"

"Well, it would eventually advance to stage four, and she'd be terminally ill. Without the procedure, she'd be looking at about six months."

Cat was confused for a moment, until she realized that he meant Sam would have six months to live. The thought made her want to throw up, and tears streamed down her face. "But she'll be okay, right? If she does the surgery?"

"Well, yes, assuming the surgery is successful. With her level of progression, we'd estimate about a fifty-percent success rate."

Cat's stomach dropped. "So… it's fifty/fifty whether she'll live or die in six months?" She was sobbing into the phone, so she covered her mouth.

"That's… not the nicest way of putting it, but yes. And even if the surgery works out, she'll need to have chemotherapy on a regular basis for a while afterwards."

Cat couldn't speak. She took a deep breath and managed to calm down enough to say, "Okay, so tomorrow at nine o'clock?" This was her only hope.

"Yes, report to the hospital, floor four, and follow the signs to the women's center. You don't need to bring anything, but have Samantha eat a light breakfast in the morning, and wear comfortable clothing. The procedure requires anesthesia, so she'll be lying down in one position for a while."

Cat tried to process all of that, but she couldn't stop crying. "'Kay 'kay."

"I'm sorry about your friend, Catarina. If you have any questions, you're welcome to call us right back, okay?"

"Uh-huh."

"Alright. You try to have a good rest of your day."

Cat hung up and put her phone away. Her back was to all the others, but she could hear them whispering about her impatiently. When she turned around and they saw her tears, they looked concerned. Jade hurried to Cat's side and whispered, "What's going on? What happened?"

Cat just shook her head. The words were thick in her throat, and she couldn't speak.

"Cat?"

Cat turned to Jade and mumbled, "Sam has stage three breast cancer. She has to have surgery tomorrow. And if it fails, she has six months to live."

Jade's stomach dropped, but she tried not to look too concerned. "But… that's only if it fails. So, you probably don't have anything to worry about," she quietly encouraged her, "Right?"

Cat shook her head. "It has a fifty-percent success rate," she choked out. Then she collapsed into Jade's arms and sobbed against her chest. "It's not fair. I just got her back and now I might lose her. Forever." She pulled back and looked at Jade through her tears. "What am I gonna do?"

"We're really running low on time," Shawn Quincy remarked in annoyance.

Cat managed to stop sobbing. "Okay." She wiped her face dry, sniffled, and cleared her throat. "I'm ready. Let's go." She headed for the recording room.

Jade caught her arm. She dragged her over to Shawn and firmly said, "Catarina needs the rest of the day off."

Shawn frowned. "Absolutely not. We're already a day behind. You girls know better than to bring drama into the studio."

"Hey," Jade snapped, "She just found out her girlfriend only has six months to live. That's her drama, asshole. So back the fuck off."

Shawn looked confused, but regretful.

Tori looked shocked. "Oh my God, Cat, I'm so sorry."

Cat sobbed, "Please let me go home. I'm too upset to sing. And I still have to tell Sam. She doesn't even know yet."

Shawn sighed. "Alright, alright. Fine. But you three had better be here tomorrow, on time, ready to work. Deal?"

"I… can't come in tomorrow either," Cat mumbled. "Sam's surgery is in the morning."

"We're never gonna get this single done in time," Shawn remarked. "Maybe we should talk about postponing the release date. But right now, you should go. Give me a call when you're ready to meet up again, alright, Catarina?" He was acting considerably nicer now.

Cat just nodded.

"C'mon, Cat. I'll drop you off at home," Jade told her, gathering their things. "Ready?"

"No." Cat dabbed at her eyes with her sleeve. "But let's go."