A/N: This fic contains potentially triggering subject matter including but not limited to: suicidal references, gun violence, sexual trauma, homelessness, drug abuse, depression, homophobia, and cancer. It may contain inaccuracies. No copyright infringement intended. Thanks for reading!
BOOK ONE - PART TWO - CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
"She'll be in the operating room for about an hour. As soon as she starts waking up, we'll bring her back here," the doctor was saying.
Sam was lying on a rolling bed, dressed in a blue hospital gown and covered by a blanket. An IV was attached to her arm, steadily dripping fluid.
"Okay. And you'll come tell me if anything goes wrong, right?" Cat asked anxiously. She was holding Sam's hand, and Sam's grip was slackening as the medication took effect. Her blue eyes were cloudy. Cat could tell she was scared, so she was trying her best to be strong for her.
"Absolutely. We'll keep you updated," the doctor assured her. "Let's get going. Are you ready, Sam?"
"I guess," Sam agreed, monotone.
"Great," the doctor replied, pulling out a mask attached to a machine and putting it over Sam's nose and mouth. "Just breathe normally."
Cat gave her hand a squeeze. "You're okay, Sam. Everything's gonna be okay."
"Alright, Sam, can I have you go ahead and count backwards from ten?"
Sam's eyes were closing. "Ten… nine… eight… sev…" Her body went limp after that.
Cat put her free hand over her mouth and choked back a sob. The doctor eyed their clasped hands and gave her a look, and it took all Cat's strength to let go and step back. Then she watched as Sam was rolled out of the room.
Both Jade and Tori stepped up from behind and hugged her. Meeting with Sam again had been brief, and there was still a lot to talk about, but right now they were here for Cat. "She'll be fine, Cat. You have nothing to worry about. Sam's tough, remember?" Tori said supportively.
"Yeah," Cat nodded in agreement. "It's just… I'm so scared of what'll happen if they fail."
"They won't fail," Tori assured her. "The universe threw you and Sam together twice. She wouldn't just come back and be immediately taken from you. You guys are meant to be together."
"I guess," Cat sniffled. "Thanks, Tori."
There was a long silence, and Tori gave Jade a look. "Um, a little support please? Cat's afraid she's gonna lose the love of her life."
Jade just sighed. "It's great to be optimistic, but… we really don't know what'll happen. I just think it's best we don't get our hopes up. Y'know, just in case."
Tears sprung to Cat's eyes. "I can't lose her again, you guys; I just can't," she told them. "I'll do whatever we have to do. Pay for whatever treatment she needs. But I need her with me. Do you guys get that? I can't live without her. I won't."
Jade recognized that as a thinly veiled suicide threat, and with Cat's history, she took her very, very seriously. "She'll be okay, Cat. Let's just try to relax and take it easy for now, and we can deal with it once we know how it went."
Tori had a small smile on her face. "I'm not sure how much it'll help, but… I think they sell Bibble at the café downstairs. You want to go get some?"
Cat still had the tin of Bibble that Sam had gifted her yesterday at home, and the thought of having more at a time like this made her feel sick. "No, I'm good," she quietly replied.
Tori and Jade looked at each other incredulously. Nothing had ever been able to make Cat turn down Bibble before. "Okay, well… do you want to come down to the café with us anyway? We can grab a drink or something."
"You guys go ahead. I kind of just want to be alone right now," Cat replied.
"Suit yourself," Jade said, and she and Tori filed out the door.
As soon as Cat was sure they were gone, she lifted her purse onto her lap and unzipped it. She pulled out a folded shirt—Sam's shirt, still unwashed from yesterday. She hugged it to her front and breathed in her scent, getting it wet with tears in the process. Then, clutching it, she sat down in one of the chairs to wait.
Around one hour later, Sam was still passed out on her hospital bed. She was wearing the same light gown with several large bandages underneath on the left side of her chest. She had been wheeled back into her hospital room a while ago, and now everyone was just waiting for her to wake up.
Jade, Tori and Cat were watching something on TV when Sam suddenly groaned. Cat hurried to her side. "Hey, Sam. How are you feeling?" she murmured quietly.
Sam squinted at the light and groaned again.
Cat looked at her in concern. "What's wrong? Does it hurt?" Sam mumbled something, and the only words Cat was able to make out were "throw up." Cat immediately grabbed a vomit bag from the dispenser on the wall and shoved it into her hands, but Sam was still heavily intoxicated and was having trouble holding it in place. So, Cat held it for her, right under her chin, and quietly said, "It's okay. You can throw up, Sam." She squeezed her eyes shut and turned her head away.
Sam's body lurched as she heaved, and a jet of vomit splattered into the bag. Then another larger one, and then again.
Cat glanced over at Jade and Tori, who were watching the scene with disgust. "Um, can you guys please give us a minute?" she requested, just in time for Sam to throw up again. She felt embarrassed for her.
"Um… yeah. I need a smoke anyway," Jade commented, going with Tori to the door.
They quickly exited, leaving Sam and Cat there alone.
Sam retched and nothing else came up. She was breathing rapidly, clutching the handles of her hospital bed. Then she retched again, and again until she was dry heaving.
"You're okay, Sam. Slow breaths," Cat encouraged her. "All done?"
Sam spit into the bag, then nodded weakly. "Did I scare your friends away? I'm sorry. Fuck, I feel like I got run over." She reached over and picked up the glass of water beside her bed and sipped it.
"By a sport utility vehicle?" Cat asked with a forced smile. She wasn't sure what to do with the vomit bag. Gagging a little, she tied a knot into it and dropped it into the trash can.
That was enough to draw a small smile out of Sam. "Yeah, but I don't think I broke my buttocks this time. So, you don't need to let anyone know."
Cat was curious suddenly. "There's really no one you want to let know? No one at all?"
"I lost contact with all my Seattle friends years ago," Sam explained.
"What about your mom?" Cat asked. "I mean, I know you said she was kind of crazy, but…"
"Oh, she… she's not around anymore," Sam vaguely replied, looking very upset suddenly. She could tell Cat was wondering, so she elaborated, "She OD'ed a few years ago, while I was in prison. They held the funeral and everything without me. I don't really—"
Sam's voice broke, and Cat softly stroked the side of her face, feeling horrible. "Shhh… I'm so sorry, Sam. I wasn't trying to make you upset. Let's talk about something else, okay?"
Sam sniffled and nodded. "I still talk to Melanie. She's the only person I stayed in contact with, kind of. I emailed her a few months ago."
"Don't you think she'd like to know about all this?"
Sam considered it. "Maybe. I don't want her to worry."
"She should worry, Sam; this is serious," Cat replied. "And you're her twin. You should probably give her a heads up, so she's careful to look out for it."
Sam sighed forcefully. "Do I have to?"
"Yes, you do," Cat answered, pulling out her phone. She could tell Sam didn't actually mind talking to her sister all that much. "How can we look up her number?"
"I know it." Sam took the phone from her, then chewed her lip nervously. "Do you think maybe you could wait outside for a few minutes while I talk to her?"
"Of course," Cat replied, going to the door. "I'm gonna go find Tori and Jade. I'll be back in a little while, okay?"
"'Kay," Sam agreed. She waited until the door was closed, then sighed and began punching in the number. The screen was blurry, and her eyelids felt very heavy.