A/N: This fic contains potentially triggering subject matter including but not limited to: suicidal references, gun violence, sexual trauma, homelessness, drug abuse, depression, homophobia, and cancer. It may contain inaccuracies. No copyright infringement intended. Thanks for reading!
BOOK ONE - PART TWO - CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Sam, Cat, Tori and Jade were packed into Sam's little hospital room. Sam and Cat were currently sharing the very small bed, while the other two sat in chairs nearby.
The doctor was there, holding a stack of papers, and was finally about to give them all the news. "So, I'll get right to it. Sam's surgery was a success—"
They all breathed audible sighs of relief.
"—and we were able to remove all the cancerous tissue. She will need to receive chemotherapy for several more months, to ensure it doesn't come back again," the doctor explained. "There was, however, a minor complication. Sam was having some issues with bleeding during the operation. It's nothing serious, but we'd like to keep her overnight so we can monitor her condition."
Sam groaned. She had been looking forward to her bed back at her new home. "Do I have to?"
"Yes. It should only be for a night," the doctor assured her. "We've already given you your first chemotherapy dose. It's probably the reason you vomited when you woke up. As your body adjusts to the medication, the side effects will lessen." He motioned to her chest. "Have you seen it yet?"
"No." Sam looked down at herself, relieved to find no noticeable changes from before. "I thought you were gonna take the whole thing off."
"We usually try to preserve the size and shape of the breasts during these procedures. We've removed about a quarter of your left breast," the doctor informed her. He made his way over to the bed. "Would you like to see it?"
"Um…" Sam's eyes flicked over to Jade and Tori. Cat got up and rushed them out of the room, then returned to Sam's bedside. "Okay. Let me see, I guess," Sam mumbled.
The doctor put on some gloves, then untied her gown and pulled it down to expose the left side of her chest. Then he carefully removed the bandages there until she was completely uncovered. There was a long line of sutures down the side of her breast, and looking now, it was clear to see that it was significantly smaller than the right one. Sam stared at herself, unsure how to feel.
It was more or less what Cat had expected, but it was still awful to look at. She felt her pain—her own chest was aching with sympathy. "See, it's not so bad, Sam. You can't even tell with a shirt on."
"That's fine, then. I'll just keep my shirt on every time we have sex," Sam muttered angrily. Tears sprung to her eyes and she wiped them on the backs of her hands.
"What? No—you know that's not what I meant," Cat murmured gently. Her heart ached, and she knew that Sam wasn't really upset with her. "It doesn't bother me. I still think you're really sexy."
"Then you're fucking blind," Sam snapped.
"But Sam—"
"Just—get off me." Sam shook Cat's hand off.
The doctor looked a bit uncomfortable. "I'm sorry we couldn't provide you with better results. If it remains a major problem for you, there are opportunities for reconstruction that you can pursue in the future." He moved back in and began placing new bandages on Sam's chest. "For now, don't hesitate to let us know if we can help you in any way. How would you rate your current pain level?"
"I don't know… five. Six, maybe," Sam mumbled.
"Okay, great. We'd like to keep it below a seven. If it gets worse, just call for a nurse and we'll adjust your medication," the doctor told her. "Is there anything else I can get you right now, Sam?"
"No." Sam was staring straight ahead, and her eyes looked empty. The doctor exited the room, leaving Sam and Cat there alone. Sam didn't move or say anything after the doctor left.
Cat eventually said, "So… the surgery was successful."
Sam forced a sad smile. "Uh-huh."
"What do you wanna do?" Cat asked, reaching for her hand again.
Sam drew it out of reach. "Honestly, right now I'd really just like to take a nap," she admitted. "You should catch up with Jade and Tori. I'll be fine here for a couple of hours."
"Are you sure?" Cat asked with concern. She knew Sam usually liked to be alone when she was feeling upset. "Do you want me to bring you anything from home?"
"No, I'm okay." Sam leaned back and closed her eyes.
Cat bent down and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead before turning and going to the door. "Feel better, Sammy." Then she let herself out into the hallway. A couple of texts later, she met up with Jade and Tori at the hospital entrance.
"I gotta get going, Cat," Tori told her. "I'll see you soon, okay? Tell Sam I hope she feels better."
"'Kay 'kay," Cat disappointedly replied, watching her walk away. Then she turned to Jade. "Are you leaving me too?"
"Nah, I've got time to kill," Jade answered. "I think there's a park just down the street. You wanna go for a walk?"
Cat shrugged. "I guess so." She hoped nothing would happen to Sam while she was away. For a while, she and Jade just exchanged small talk. Then they started chatting about Sam.
"I still can't believe she's back," Jade was saying. "Looks like the last decade's been rough on her."
"It has. I've been trying to get food in her as much as I can, so she can gain the weight back," Cat explained. "Honestly, I'm just glad she's with me again."
"It's gonna be a lot of work taking care of her," Jade commented, not unkindly. "Chemotherapy can really mess you up."
"I don't care. It's worth it to me. I'm in lov—" Cat stopped speaking suddenly.
"Cat, we all know you're in love with her. It's totally obvious," Jade teased lightly. "She's lucky to have you."
"So, you're not still mad at her?" Cat asked tentatively.
Jade gave a short chuckle. "No, I'm still pretty pissed. I'm gonna tell her off as soon as she feels better."
"Well, thanks for waiting," Cat replied with a one-shouldered shrug. That was all she could ask for from Jade. "I don't think she can handle a whole lot right now."
Jade pressed her lips together and didn't reply. After a long pause, she said, "It's actually really sweet—how you are with her," she admitted. She had barely had enough time to see Sam and Cat interact, but what little she saw had surprised her. "Like, I don't think I've ever seen you like that with anyone."
"She's all I've ever wanted," Cat professed seriously. "Like, if she asked to marry me today, I'd say yes."
Jade smiled. "But just… why, though? What even makes you like her so much?"
"Everything." Cat smiled to herself. "I like how she can be all tough and protective, but still have a sweeter side—only with me. And I like how she acts like she doesn't care, but she totally actually does. And I think she loves me too." She hesitated, and then quietly continued, "Not to mention the fact that I think she's extremely sexy."
"Oh, yeah?" Jade concealed a smile. "So, you had a nice time last night, I assume?"
Cat's stomach flipped and her eyes went wide. "What? What do you mean?"
Jade laughed. "Cat, you can't play innocent with me anymore; that ship has sailed." Cat looked at her in confusion, so Jade rolled her eyes and stated, "Did you know there's a giant hickey on your neck?"
Cat's hand shot up to rub the spot. "Oh, yeah. I forgot about that."
"You forgot?" Jade arched an eyebrow at her.
"Well, I was kind of distracted," Cat admitted sheepishly.