A/N: This fic contains potentially triggering subject matter including but not limited to: suicidal references, gun violence, sexual trauma, homelessness, drug abuse, depression, homophobia, and cancer. It may contain inaccuracies. No copyright infringement intended. Thanks for reading!
BOOK TWO - PART ONE - CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
"Alright everyone—we're recording Track Number One in about five minutes. Rob, Cat, be ready," Bryson was saying the next day. Them three, along with Jade, Tori and Sam, were in the music studio working hard to get everything done in time. So far today, Cat had been busy working on her music, so Sam had decided to just sit back and watch. She was currently reclined on a long couch with Jade and Tori outside the recording room, looking through the glass. Just then, Cat walked out and wandered over to them.
"Hey. Everything good?" Sam asked, grabbing her arm and pulling her in.
"Yeah, I'm okay. I just want everything to work out so bad, you know?"
"It will," Sam assured her. Then she asked, "So what's this first song about? I didn't know you were singing one with Robbie."
"Oh, it's called Make Me Want You. We wrote it together. It's… kind of a love song," Cat admitted. When she saw the look of jealousy on Sam's face, she quickly explained, "But not like that, exactly. You'll see."
"It's good, Sam. You'll like it," Jade assured her.
"Alright, we're all set to go, you guys," Bryson said. "Rob; Cat—you guys ready?"
Cat leaned down and gave Sam a peck on the lips. Then she turned and entered the recording room with Robbie. They both pulled pairs of headphones on and positioned themselves in front of the large, high-tech microphones.
"Can I get a check?" Bryson requested.
"Check."
"Check."
"Okay, I'll give you the cue when to start—let's try to get as much of this done as we can in one take, and then we'll come back around and finish them up once we get the base recordings done," Bryson told them. "You guys ready?"
They each flashed a thumbs up.
"Okay, great. Here we go." Bryson used his soundboard and computer to make the backing track. It was catchy—Sam was already impressed. After several seconds, Bryson signaled for Robbie to start.
The song was beautifully written. As Cat had explained, it was a love song—a platonic love song about a "straight" couple struggling with their sexuality, trying to fit the mold but being unable to. It was very well done, and it didn't make Sam jealous at all—it made her feel proud.
There was a five-second pause of silence after the music faded out. Then everyone started clapping and cheering. Cat and Robbie removed their headphones and exited the recording room.
"That was perfect, guys. You can take a break—we'll start on Track Number Two in about an hour," Bryson told them, and then everyone began to disperse.
Cat went to Sam and sat on her lap. "Did you like it?"
"It was actually pretty good," Sam admitted. She'd never been a hundred percent comfortable with Robbie and Cat's relationship. After hearing this song, she trusted him a little more. "Is he officially coming out too?"
"Not exactly. We're gonna let the fans draw their conclusions," Robbie spoke up after overhearing their conversation. "Bryson's not ready to be out yet. So, I have to act at least a little bit upset about the breakup—we're gonna say it was a mutual thing, but…"
"Some of these songs kind of make Robbie look bad," Cat explained regretfully.
"That's just the price I have to pay to keep my secret a little longer," Robbie told them. "It's not your fault, Cat. You know I support you a hundred percent. We all do."
"Hey, we're all heading to the break room for some snacks; you guys wanna come?" Tori asked.
Cat looked at Sam. "Do you want me to go grab you something?" She knew it would take a lot of energy for her to walk there herself right now; she had been feeling pretty weak since this morning.
"No, I'm good."
Cat sighed. She looked into her eyes and quieted her voice. "You need to eat something, Sam. Just try?"
"I'm not hungry, Cat."
"How 'bout a bag of pretzels? Or a fruit cup? Just something really small," Cat encouraged her. "Please?"
"Can't I just have some juice or something?" Sam was glad no one else seemed to be paying attention to them.
"You need food, Sam." Cat never thought she'd live to see the day when she had to force food on Sam. It was actually pretty heartbreaking. "I'm gonna get you a fruit cup. If you can't eat it, you don't have to. But I want you to try." She stood up. "I'll be right back."
Sam waited there alone for a few minutes until eventually everyone came back. They were eating donuts and cookies and chips and candy. They all had large appetites—work had been exhausting lately. Cat was eating a pink-frosted donut with sprinkles as she handed Sam her fruit cup and a spoon. She started to sit down next to her, but Jade called her over. "Cat, come take a look at these lyrics."
"Be right back," Cat murmured to Sam, then crossed the room to where Jade and Tori were standing, holding sheets of paper.
Sam sighed heavily. She peeled the plastic off the top of her fruit cup. Then she forced herself to take several very small bites. She really hoped this wouldn't make her get sick in front of everyone—she wasn't sure she'd be able to handle the embarrassment.
Just then, Bryson wandered over, noticing that Sam was alone. The two had just met today, and Sam wasn't sure how she felt about him yet. "Hey, don't finish that whole thing in one sitting," he joked, eyeing her fruit cup.
Sam faked a smile, but didn't reply. She really just wanted him to leave her alone so she could focus on not throwing up.
"Don't you want a donut or something? Or a cookie?"
"No, thanks. I'm okay." Sam tried to ignore him.
But Bryson just kept talking. "Oh, come on—are you dieting or something? You really don't need to lose weight or anything, if that's what you're worried about. Have something good. Here." He held out a chocolate chip cookie for her.
Sam was starting to get upset. "No, thank you," she forced out between clenched teeth.
"One cookie's not gonna kill you," Bryson rolled his eyes.
"Please leave me alone." Sam was proud of her own self-restraint. In the past, she would've already used some sort of physical force to make him back off.
"Oh, come on. I bet Cat would like you more with some meat on your bones," Bryson teased, totally missing the signs.
Now Sam's feelings were genuinely hurt. She was angry and there was a lump in her throat. She stood up, walked over to Cat, and handed her the half-finished fruit cup. "You can have that. I'm going to the bathroom." She practically ran out of the room, slamming the door shut behind her.
Cat looked around with her eyebrows furrowed, bewildered. "Hey, does anyone know what happened to Sam?" She quickly finished the fruit cup and tossed it into a trash can.
"I don't know. I was trying to offer her some snacks," Bryson explained, wandering over. "She was, like, refusing to eat. I tried to force her to take a cookie, and she wouldn't take it no matter what I said. Pretty weird."
Cat's face morphed into a scowl. "Did she tell you to leave her alone?"
"Well, yeah, but I was just teasing," Bryson shrugged, taking a bite of a donut.
Robbie cringed. "Babe…"
Cat was furious. She didn't owe anyone an explanation, but she was going to give them one. "Sam is going through chemotherapy. She's been having a hard time keeping anything down—and I finally got her to agree to eat something. Why did you have to go and embarrass her about it?"
Bryson looked shocked and guilty. "Oh. Fuck. Are you being serious? I didn't mean…"
"Screw you, Bryce." Cat rushed out of the room.
"You fucked up," Jade mumbled, disguising the comment with a sip of her drink. She was amused and didn't mind the drama.
"Chemo? Seriously?" Bryson said again, defensively. "How the hell was I supposed to know?"
"Sam has breast cancer," Tori explained to him. "She just had surgery earlier this week. Why didn't you just leave her alone when she told you to?"
"I thought she was just one of those girls who hates eating in front of people," Bryson muttered.
"Yeah, Sam definitely doesn't have that problem," Jade chuckled. "Cat has every right to be pissed off at you—things have been really tough for them lately."
"Okay, well I feel like a total asshole now."
"You are," Jade remarked.
"You're not an asshole, babe. You didn't know," Robbie said to Bryson. "Just apologize to Sam. I'm sure she'll realize you were just messing around."
"But in the future, you should really watch what you say around Sam. She tends to get… violent when she's upset," Tori informed him.
"Yeah, those screenshots of her prison record all over the internet? Those are real," Jade added.
"Seriously?" Bryson looked unconvinced. "People are saying she killed a guy."
"She did," Jade replied, completely straight-faced.
Bryson actually looked nervous now. "Oh. Shit." He was already trying to figure out how to apologize.