A/N: This fic contains potentially triggering subject matter including but not limited to: suicidal references, gun violence, sexual trauma, homelessness, drug abuse, depression, homophobia, and cancer. It may contain inaccuracies. No copyright infringement intended. Thanks for reading!

BOOK TWO - PART TWO - CHAPTER SIXTY-THREE

Sam exhaled slowly, holding the joint in her fingertips. She felt relaxed after the very first hit. "Oh, man." She coughed. "This is good shit; where'd you buy this at?"

Jade chuckled and grabbed the joint from her. She also took a long pull from it, then said, "One of Beck's friends is an award-winning grower. We get it at a crazy discount."

"It hits quick," Sam remarked, blinking several times. She took the joint back. They continued to pass it back and forth as it burned. "Cat's never smoked before, has she?"

"Of course not. You know how Cat is." Jade slowly smiled. "She found some gummy bears in my car once, though."

Sam laughed in surprise. "Oh, shit. How many did she eat? What happened?"

"Almost the whole container. She greened out and fainted," Jade explained, amused at the memory. "She'd mostly come down by the time she woke up, though, so nothing too crazy happened. But she's, um, not a big fan of weed now."

"Damn." Sam launched into a coughing fit. Once she caught her breath she commented, "Oh, well. More for us."

For a while, the two of them sat together in a comfortable silence. Once the first joint burned down, Sam rolled another one. It wasn't long before they were both feeling a little hazy.

"So…" Jade drawled. They were both leaning back on the outdoor sofa together with their heads tipped back, looking up at the stars. "How's your, uh… cancer stuff going?"

It wasn't a very eloquent way of asking, but it was the most that Sam could expect from Jade. "Oh, you know. It's… tough. But complaining doesn't help anything."

"Cat told us what happened last night," Jade said evenly.

Sam looked over at her to find her smiling. "Wait—what exactly did she tell you?" She was too high to start worrying right now.

"That you were too rough in bed and tore your stitches out," Jade replied.

"Oh. Uh, was she specific about..?"

"Yes. You got too excited and flipped her over," Jade teased. "Sound accurate?"

Sam was blushing deeply—she was feeling more sober suddenly. "She told you that?"

"It's fine. It actually sounds pretty hot, if I'm being honest," Jade admitted. "Was it worth it?"

"Yes." Sam was upset. She roughly grabbed the joint out of Jade's hand and hit it hard. Then she started coughing and couldn't stop for several more seconds. "I can't believe she told you that."

"Well, I was asking, to be fair," Jade explained. "It's not a big deal. You don't have anything to be ashamed of; trust me."

"What else has she told you?" Sam asked uncertainly. "I mean, did she tell you I'm..?"

"Stone? Yes." Jade coughed. "It's fine. Like, it's totally your own choice."

Sam was embarrassed and a bit hurt. "Oh. Um… fuck. I thought she'd keep that to herself."

Jade sat up a little straighter. "Look, I know this probably doesn't apply to you, but women talk about these things. It's normal to ask for details like this when you're as close as we are. Don't take it personally, okay?"

"It's not that bad to be… how I am," Sam mumbled defensively. "I keep Cat satisfied. And I've never had a woman complain."

Jade chuckled. "Sam, if you weren't with Cat, I would totally fuck you. You have nothing to worry about." By the look on her face, she hadn't meant to say that out loud, but the two of them just looked at each other and started laughing.

"Um, I'm pretty sure I'd be the fucker and you'd be the fuckee." Sam was amused.

"Wanna bet?" Jade challenged her.

The two of them sat staring each other down. Finally, Sam's eyes flicked down to Jade's cleavage, and immediately away again, which made Jade snort with laughter. Sam smiled guiltily. "Fuck. Sorry. Let's… not mention this to Cat, ever, okay?"

"Good idea," Jade replied. Then she added, as an afterthought, "Unless you guys would ever want to bring me in for a threesome, 'cause I'd definitely be down for that."

"Really?" Sam said in surprise—it was a very forward approach, even for Jade.

"…Really?" Jade echoed. She hadn't been serious, but now she was thinking about it and Sam was looking at her differently and it was making her blush. "I… was totally kidding. I don't think I could ever be with Cat like that; it feels… wrong."

"Oh. Right." Sam looked embarrassed. "Sorry, that was stupid."

"Have you ever even been in a threesome?" Jade asked.

"Twice," Sam answered. "It was really nothing special, to be honest. Either time. You?"

"Okay, definitely don't say anything to Cat, but… Beck and I are swingers," Jade confessed, looking a bit sheepish. "For the past seven or eight years or so. It's… interesting."

"Huh. Guys or girls?" Sam asked without judgement.

"Both. We prefer couples," Jade honestly replied. She looked at Sam through the smoke. "You're a gold star lesbian, aren't you?"

Sam laughed. A gold star lesbian was a woman who had never had sex with a man. "I tried once, when I was seventeen. But we never actually got it in, so… yeah, you could basically say I am."

"Didn't get it in?" Jade chuckled.

"We messed around for a while, but I couldn't get turned on," Sam responded openly. It was mostly the truth. The real reason was that it had been unexpectedly painful and Sam had gotten scared. But she wasn't about to share that with Jade.

"My first time was with a girl," Jade revealed. Cat was one of the few other people who knew that.

"Yeah?" Sam glanced over at her. "How'd it happen?"

"I was fourteen. She was the lead role for a play I was in," Jade replied. "She went down on me in my dressing room during intermission. It was quick, and we had no idea what we were doing—but we did it a few more times after that. It got better eventually." She looked over at her and smiled. "Your turn."

Sam smiled with one corner of her mouth. "It was in juvie. I was fourteen too. We were locked down and there was nothing else to do, so, um… we hung a sheet over the front of the bunk and messed around with a bunch of other girls in the room," she admitted. "Romantic, right?"

"I'm not gonna lie; I'd probably do the same thing," Jade admitted, chuckling. "Did you get off?"

Sam looked surprised by the invasiveness of the question, but she truthfully answered, "Uh, yeah. We both did. Why?"

Jade just looked at her with a knowing smirk on her face. "No reason. Just… Cat speaks very highly of you."

"Really? What does she say?" Sam asked with slight concern. She already hadn't realized that Cat was as open as she was about this.

"Not a lot. Just that you're very generous. And really good with your mouth."

Sam gave out a surprised laugh. "Well… I'm not gonna argue with that."

The joint burned out, and they were both sufficiently baked. Neither of them were sure how long they were sitting there before Cat finally leaned out the back door.

"Hey, you guys. Pizza's here," she called.

"Shit." Sam shook her head to clear the fogginess. "You got any eyedrops?"

Jade picked up her purse. "We'll be there in a minute, Cat." She pulled out a small bottle of eyedrops and two mints, handing one to Sam. "Ready to go act sober?"

Sam chuckled. "Yeah. Come on."