A/N: This fic contains potentially triggering subject matter including but not limited to: suicidal references, gun violence, sexual trauma, homelessness, drug abuse, depression, homophobia, and cancer. It may contain inaccuracies. No copyright infringement intended. Thanks for reading!
BOOK THREE - PART ONE - CHAPTER EIGHTY
A short while later, Cat had to take care of something with her EP, so Jade had picked her up. She'd left Sam and her sister at home. Sam was in her room, sprawled out on the couch in a tank top and boxers, and Melanie sat on the floor in front of her. There was a small wastebasket off to the side, just in case. With Cat's help, Sam had quickly gotten cleaned up, and now she was relaxing in front of the TV. It was playing a basketball game, but she was only half paying attention to it. Melanie was scrolling on her phone. She looked up when she noticed Sam staring at her.
"Hey," Melanie said quietly, "Doing okay?"
"Have you ever been screened?"
Melanie raised her eyebrows. "What, like, for cancer?"
"Yeah. Have you ever had a mammogram, or whatever?" Sam asked.
"No," Melanie admitted, "I never realized there was a need to. Do you think I should?"
"Couldn't hurt," Sam replied. "I mean, the reality is, since I have it, it's likely you'll have it at some point. You need to catch it early."
Melanie looked a little nervous now. "Did you have any signs?"
"I noticed the lump months ago. I didn't think it was a big deal until it started getting bigger," Sam admitted. "But if you suspect anything at all, you really need to get it checked out. Don't wait as long as I did."
"I'm gonna be really careful about it from now on," Melanie assured her. "Do you know why—" She was cut off by the sound of her phone ringing. She pulled it out and looked at the screen. "Shit."
Sam actually laughed in surprise—it was extremely rare to hear Melanie curse. "Who is it? Rupert?"
"Work. Give me a second; I'll be right back." Melanie stood up and crossed to the other side of the room, then picked up the call. "Hi, this is Melanie?"
Sam was glad she didn't have to deal with things like that. She tried to tune out the conversation, turning her attention back to the TV.
A couple minutes later, Melanie returned, looking displeased. "They need me back at headquarters. One of our best guys just quit," she explained. "I told them it's a bad time, but—"
"You should go," Sam told her. Melanie worked as an accountant for some major business firm back in Vermont. Sam didn't know all the details, and she didn't care to. "I never wanted you here in the first place. You're more than welcome to fuck off."
Melanie muttered, "You're such an ass," but she was smiling. She was used to this kind of behavior from Sam by now. There was an awkward stretch of silence. Finally, Melanie said, "You're sure you don't want me to stay? I can tell them it's a family emergency."
Sam shook her head. "It was nice of you to check up on me or whatever, but you know I'm gonna be more stressed out if you're here. And I have Cat. I'm in good hands."
"I know," Melanie reluctantly agreed. She sighed. "I guess I'd better go, then. I'm just gonna go pack up my stuff in the other room and call a cab."
"Cool," Sam replied disinterestedly, "Later." She waited, but Melanie didn't move, so she demanded, "What?"
"Would you mind if—can I hug you?" Melanie asked hesitantly. She was still a little paranoid about the nightmare she'd had about her.
Sam looked up at her blankly. "Seriously?"
"Sam, please."
Sam groaned dramatically and pushed herself up into a sitting position. "Fucking ridiculous," she grumbled, but when Melanie leaned down and wrapped her arms around her, she didn't protest. For a second or two, Sam held her for real, trembling slightly. Then she abruptly pulled away, avoiding her gaze. "'Kay. Bye."
"Bye." Melanie gave her a small smile and headed out of the room.
A few hours later, Cat finally returned home and entered Sam's bedroom. Sam was passed out on the couch, snoring loudly. The wastebasket on the floor was about a quarter of the way full of vomit. An empty box of cookies, a container for a pint of ice cream, and a nearly finished bag of chips were sitting on the coffee table. Cat sighed and quickly collected the wastebasket. She took the used bag out of the basket and put in a new one, then returned it to its place by the couch. Then she picked up all the trash and disposed of that, too. Underneath the mess were a few pieces of paper, inked with pen. She paid no attention to them at first. But then one caught her eye, and her mouth dropped open.
They were of her. And they were extremely obscene. The first one showed her laid back with her legs spread wide, touching herself. There was no doubt that it was her—just about anyone would've been able to tell. It was very realistic. The next one was of her turned around, bent over on her hands and knees with her butt up in the air. The last one, perhaps the most shocking of them all, showed her performing oral sex on someone—Sam herself, probably—though the image cut off just above the woman's belly button. Cat couldn't look at that one without blushing. She'd had no idea that Sam had been fantasizing about that, too. She gave herself a little squeeze through her pants, placed the drawings back on the table, and then climbed on top of Sam.
Sam grumbled at her but didn't open her eyes.
"Sammy…" Cat hummed against her neck.
Sam's eyes shot open, and her hands moved to Cat's shoulders to shove her away.
Cat caught her wrists in time. "Hey. It's okay. It's just me."
Sam immediately relaxed and flopped back down onto the couch, humming in contentment. "Morning."
It was late afternoon. "How are you feeling?" Cat asked, "And where's Melanie?"
"Oh, she had to leave for some work thing earlier," Sam explained. "And I'm… okay. I took a walk. And then I took a nap."
"Are you still feeling sick?" Cat asked. "I emptied your puke bucket."
"Oh. Thanks," Sam mumbled. "Yeah, I'm still pretty nauseous. It's really bad today."
"I know," Cat murmured, stroking her shoulder. "This is the worst of it, though. I think it'll start to wear off soon." Sam's breath smelled like throw-up, so Cat kissed the side of her neck instead. "So… did you miss me today? I noticed I was on your mind a lot."
"Huh?" Sam said in confusion.
Cat giggled. She leaned down next to Sam's ear and murmured, "You never asked for permission to draw me like one of your French girls."
The reference made Sam give out a choked sound of surprise. She reached out from underneath Cat and flipped the three drawings over. Her face was very red. "Shit. Did you see those?"
Cat wanted to tell Sam how cute she looked when she blushed, but she had a feeling that wouldn't help the situation. "They're really good," she said instead, smiling teasingly. "They made me horny."
"You saw all of them?"
"Mm-hmm." Cat kissed behind Sam's ear. "I didn't know that… that was something you ever even wanted me to do." They both know perfectly well what she was referring to.
"I don't—I was just—it was just…" Sam cringed and went even redder. "I think about it sometimes. But I'm not sure I could handle actually letting you do it. I mean, I know that probably sounds really stupid…"
"No, it's doesn't. I don't want you to feel like I'm pressuring you or anything," Cat gently replied. "But if you ever felt comfortable enough to give it a try, I'd definitely be interested."
"Really?" Sam looked up at her.
"I'd love to make love with you like that, Sam. I wanna taste you the way you taste me," Cat openly told her. "We can take it at your pace. And if it's too much, we'll stop and try something else."
There was a beat of silence. "Okay. Tonight," Sam blurted suddenly. It was a surprise to both of them.
"Tonight? You'll actually let me..?"
"We can try." Sam swallowed hard. "I'm nervous. But I trust you." She attempted to pull her in for a kiss, but Cat darted out of the way.
In response to Sam's hurt look, Cat quickly pecked her on the cheek. "I'm sorry, just, your breath…" she cringed.
"Oh." Sam looked a little embarrassed. "Get off me."
Cat did.
Sam stood up and headed for the bathroom. "I'll be right back."