THE ALMOST REVEAL

Lois clicked on the 'ispottedsuperman dot com' bookmark for the 29th time that day. There were still no new posts. She sighed in frustration and concern. Where was he?

Watching her out of the corner of his eye, Clark also let out a sigh. He knew she was worried about him… about Superman. She had had no word from or about Superman since he slammed her car door and flew off three days ago. He hadn't even come to visit Jason at their house, which he usually did two or three times a week.

Not that he had been neglecting Jason. His gaze shifted over to Richard's office where Jason was sitting at a little desk in the corner doing schoolwork. Lois and Richard had decided to keep Jason out of school for the time being. Clark agreed it was a good idea, not that they had bothered to ask him. Until they knew more about what Luthor was up to, it was prudent to take precautions. Jason glanced up from his work and noticed Clark was looking at him. He grinned and gave Clark a 'thumbs up.' Clark grinned and returned the gesture. What a great kid!

A wave of nausea swept over him as his thoughts returned to Linda. He looked away from Jason, hoping his son hadn't noticed the change in his demeanor. He had never before experienced nausea except from Kryptonite poisoning. But in the last few days, the uncomfortable feeling barely left him.

He had been dividing his time between searching for Linda and checking in on Jason and Lois. Finding Linda was more difficult than finding the proverbial needle in a haystack, which, truth be told, would be a cinch for Clark. But Luthor could have taken Linda practically anywhere on the planet. Clark had flown in a search pattern all over the globe, stretching his senses to the max, hoping to pick up the distinctive vibrations Linda emitted. He knew it was probably an exercise in futility as her signals were too feeble to travel more than a few feet. He returned to Metropolis to focus his search there, but he had not found one trace of either her or Luthor.

He would have to wait till Luthor made his next move.

Lois let out another frustrated sigh, banged her mouse on her desk – as if that would help – and muttered under her breath "Come on… where are you?"

Truth is, even though Clark had been busy with searching for Linda, that wasn't the main reason he hadn't been in contact with Lois. He had been putting off continuing the conversation they had started in Lois's car, about how he always – almost always anyway - knew what trouble she was getting herself into, always saving her in the nick of time. Lois had been harboring suspicions about that for a long time, and now her curiosity had been further piqued when he all but admitted to her that he had learned about Linda through her.

He had to tell her his secret eventually, and the longer he put it off, the worse Lois was going to take it, because he had already allowed the deception to persist unchecked for far too long. He had started to tell her many times, only to chicken-out at the last second. Uncertainty of how she would react paralyzed him. Would she feel anger? Hurt? Betrayal?

He didn't want to hurt her… again.

The mere thought of causing her more pain tormented him, sparking waves of self-loathing and regret before he even uttered a word. How could he broach such delicate news gently, without exacerbating the pain she might feel? The struggle to find the right approach weighed heavily on his mind, casting a shadow over every interaction with Lois.

Clark's concerns deepened as he contemplated the potential repercussions. They loomed large, not just for his relationship with Lois, but also for their dynamic as co-parents to Jason. It had taken months of delicate negotiation and maneuvering to establish a semblance of balance in their parenting arrangement, involving Lois, Richard, and himself as Superman. He had leveraged his identity as Clark to spend even more time with Jason, surpassing the boundaries Superman had agreed to with Lois and Richard. This added dimension of complexity only served to deepen the intricacies of his deception.

Lois's perception of Clark's close bond with Jason as an "obsession" had blindsided him. Her recent reluctance to allow them to spend time together left him feeling profoundly sad, although amidst the events of the last few days, he hadn't had much opportunity to dwell on it. Would revealing his identity as Superman lead Lois to reconsider her stance, or would taking Jason to the park seem to her too mundane of an activity for Superman? On the other hand, considering the reappearance of Lex Luthor, Clark also entertained the possibility that Lois might appreciate any time Jason spent under Superman's protection. Perhaps she would welcome their outings as opportunities for Jason to be in the presence of someone who could keep him safe. The uncertainty of Lois's reaction and its potential impact on his relationship with their son filled him with a sense of unease unlike any he had experienced before.

Clark also knew that unveiling his identity as Superman would irrevocably alter the dynamic he and Lois built over the years. The fear of Lois feeling betrayed and deceived gnawed at him, knowing that their bond might be fractured beyond repair. Clark dreaded the possibility of losing the trust and closeness they'd shared, fearing that their connection may never be the same again.

And how will Lois perceive him once she knows the truth? Will she question the authenticity of their past interactions, wondering if her feelings were genuine or merely a result of his deception? The thought of Lois doubting their entire relationship filled him with a profound sense of anguish. Revealing his secret will force them both to confront uncomfortable truths and navigate uncharted territory, and the uncertainty of where they'll end up made him feel vulnerable and apprehensive.

Clark briefly glanced at Jason and then back at Lois, thinking she and Richard must also be feeling vulnerable, albeit in a different way. For two years, they had lived with the uncertainty of whether Luthor had survived New Krypton's ascension into the space. Superman had begged them to assume new identities away from Metropolis where, in case Luthor was still alive, he would never find them. They had steadfastly refused. The implications of the ruthlessness of Luthor's vendetta against Superman and his knowledge of Jason being Superman's son, couldn't be understated. With the reemergence of Luthor, the White family was undeniably now in the crosshairs of a maniacal psychopath.

Clark had always made it a priority to shield those he cared about from the chaos and danger that came with his identity as Superman. He had grown accustomed to maintaining a safe distance and using his alter ego, Clark Kent, as a protective barrier. However, there came a point when the danger became too great, and he realized that bringing his loved ones closer was the safest course of action. It was time to tear down the facade, let them in, and provide them with a means to reach out to him in case of emergency.

The thought of Lois and Richard feeling vulnerable and unsure of how to protect themselves or reach out to Superman filled Clark with a profound sense of responsibility and concern. Despite his own apprehensions, he knew he had to do whatever it took to safeguard his loved ones from the malicious schemes of Lex Luthor. This meant breaking down barriers and ensuring that Lois and Richard felt secure and supported, even in the face of imminent danger.

Lois refreshed the 'ispottedsuperman' tab yet again. There was new post! "I spotted myself meeting you on the roof," it read.

"Huh?" Lois looked up from her computer and scanned the newsroom, not quite sure what she was looking for. When her gaze met Clark's, he gave her an exaggerated grin. She furrowed her brow and stared at him for a moment before turning back to her computer and refreshing the page.

The previous post had been deleted, and there was a new post. "What are you looking around for? Go upstairs," read a new post. Clark had created an anonymous account on 'ispottedsuperman' a couple of years ago just for amusement. It would probably be suspended now for violating the terms and conditions. But he didn't really need an account anyway. He always knew where Superman was.

Superman was waiting for Lois on the roof by the elevator. She let out a relieved sob, ran to him and threw her arms around him. "I was so worried about you," she murmured into his neck.

Superman tenderly enveloped Lois in his arms, exhaling a deep sigh. It had been over two years since they had shared such closeness, not since Lois had kissed him in the hospital. He yearned for a relationship where they could exchange friendly gestures—a hug, a kiss on the cheek, or even a simple handshake. Until now, an unspoken awkwardness had lingered between them, keeping them at a safe physical distance. But as Lois leaned into his embrace, Superman felt a wave of comfort and contentment wash over him, dispelling any lingering tension or unease. The familiarity of their closeness felt instinctive and right, a silent acknowledgment of the bond they shared.

However, the moment was fleeting. A queasy sensation began to gnaw at Superman as he realized that the forthcoming revelation would likely reintroduce the awkwardness between them once more. He tried to savor the moment, capturing the feelings and sensations that might need to sustain him for the next two years.

"I'm sorry. I've should have checked in with you before this." Superman placed a gentle kiss on the top of Lois's head.

"I was worried you found Luthor." Lois buried her face in his chest, immediately regretting it when she suddenly felt flushed and her heart started racing. He could still have that effect on her.

"I've been trying to find Luthor," he replied with a tinge of irony in his voice. It was obvious that their physical proximity was having a profound effect on Lois. It was understandable, given their history, and it was probably fraying her emotions along with wrecking havoc on her body, but he wasn't ready to let her go yet. He tightened his embrace ever so slightly. He was also feeling effects, though for him they were more emotional than physical. He was still in love with her.

"I meant I was worried that's why nobody's seen you." Knowing Superman could easily perceive how much he aroused her made Lois feel uncomfortable. There wasn't much that she could do about that, but she certainly wasn't going to let him see her blush. She pushed on Superman's chest. He reluctantly retreated as Lois pulled away and turned around in one maneuver, pretending to look out over the city. "Emil told me about the chemicals in the shrapnel. You're not invulnerable anymore. Anyone with bullets laced with that stuff or a bomb…"

"I'm still way faster than a speeding bullet. I'm on my guard now. What happened in Midvale won't happen again. That stuff will make things harder for me, but not more dangerous." Without Lois leaning against him, his chest felt cold and empty, and he didn't know what to do with his arms. They felt weird just hanging down by his sides.

After a few more moments, Lois thought he had regained her composure and her complexion, so she turned to face him. She noticed for the first time how tired and… sickly Superman looked. He actually looked sick, even in the sunlight on a bright late-spring day. "Are you alright?"

"No," he said flatly, shaking his head slightly.

"You need sun…"

"No."

"You're worried about Linda." Lois stated the obvious.

"I'm worried about you and Jason. I'm nauseated about Linda." Superman let out a ragged sigh as his expression tightened and a shudder shook his body.

"I'm sorry," Lois apologized. "You've probably been searching for her non-stop. I was just so worried about you, but I won't keep you…"

"Actually, I'm out of places to look. I'm all out of ideas. You have any ideas?"

Lois shook her head. "I've been looking too."

"I know." Superman narrowed his eyes and his voice became stern. "And I know Richard and Clark have had to stop you more than a dozen times…."

"I'm an investigative reporter…" Lois protested.

Superman shook his head. "You'll have to investigate from within the confines of this building for the time being. I can't keep an eye on both you and Jason if you're constantly sneaking out and not telling anyone where you're going."

"I would tell them where I'm going if I knew they weren't going to stop me," Lois pointed out.

"Please, Lois!" Superman was pleading. He took a few shallow breaths and continued in a strained voice. "I need you to stay put for just a… just for now… till we know more… till Luthor shows his hand. Or even better, maybe it's not too late for you to go into hiding…"

"No! We already told you, that's out of the question."

Superman stared at Lois for a few moments, worry and anger etched on his face. "You don't understand the precarious situation you're in. It's my fault. I've given you the perception that I'm omniscient and that I'll always be there to save you when you're in trouble. But that's not how it is."

"You already told me that, but you wouldn't explain…"

"I'm ready to explain now." Superman let out a jagged sigh. He didn't feel ready.

"Are you just hovering over the Planet…"

"No. I'm not. I'm actually… watching you …from the inside." Superman paused, frozen, unable to continue for a few moments.

"What do you mean 'from the inside?'"

Superman took another deep breath. "Lois, this isn't easy for me to show you this, and it not going to be easy for you to see." He reached under his cape and fetched his glasses.

Just then, Lois's phone started vibrating.

So cliché! Interrupted by a phone call!

"Never mind that," Lois waved her hand dismissively. "Show me."

But it was too late. Superman had lost his nerve again. "No, go ahead and answer it." His words tumbled out, shaky and rapid. "Anyway, something just came up. I have to go." He floated up, up, and away.

He felt like a coward.