NOT A DATE
Lauren and Clark walked casually down Skyline Avenue. As usual, Lauren was perfectly content with the silence between them, while Clark yearned for conversation. "You know, if you had come with out the window with me, we could have gone anywhere in the world for dinner. Well, almost anywhere, cause of course in some places they're serving breakfast or lunch right now, if they're open at all."
Lauren smiled and shrugged. "It's OK. I like Bruno's."
"So are your leftovers the only thing waiting for you at home?"
"Yup, pretty much."
Clark waited a few moments, hoping Lauren would pick up the conversation, but alas she had lapsed back into silence. "Not even a cat?"
"I'm allergic. What about you?"
"I'm allergic to pretty much everything on this planet, but I already told you that."
"No, I mean… where do you live anyway?"
"I have an apartment in Bakerline, but I don't really 'live' there, per se. I don't hardly sleep or spend much time there."
"Does Kara live with you?"
"No, don't you remember? She lives with Aunt Martha-oops in Smallville-oops."
"Now, you're joking about it." Lauren noticed Clark was grinning at her. She smiled warmly at him. "But you seemed pretty upset before."
"I know you better now. I trust you."
They arrived at the restaurant. It was busy, but not packed. They were seated right away.
Lauren settled herself in her chair and then suddenly let out a giggle.
"What's so funny?" Clark asked.
"I'm sorry… I just…" Lauren shook her head. "The craziness of all this just hit me."
"What craziness?"
"The craziness of …. the normalcy… I guess, if that makes any sense. I mean, there's all sorts of weird stuff at the labs, but usually when I leave there, I leave all that freaky stuff behind. The rest of my life is pretty mundane. But here I am having dinner with… you … at Bruno's Bistro… and…" Lauren's jaw dropped. A look of horror came across her face.
"What's wrong?" Clark smiled. First, because Lauren was finally engaging in conversation. And second, because he found Lauren's habit of dropping her jaw very endearing.
"Oh my god! I didn't just call you freaky, did I?"
"Sort of…"
"I'm so sorry," Lauren apologized emphatically. "You know I don't think of you that way."
"It's alright, Lauren. That's just my life..."
"Clark?" came a familiar voice.
Clark froze for a moment. He looked up and it was his jaw that dropped this time. He watched in dismay as Lois and Richard walked over to them from the bar area. They appeared to be on their way out, and Lois had unfortunately caught sight of Clark. When she reached their table, Lois stood there, shifting her gaze between them, a grin spreading across her face. "Lauren? What are you doing here? It's so good to see you."
Lauren stood up and she and Lois shared a friendly hug.
Lois gestured to Richard. "This is my fiancé, Richard White. Richard, this is Lauren Lovell. She's working with Emil and you-know-who on you-know-what."
Lauren extended her hand to Richard. "It's nice to meet you."
"Likewise." Richard turned to Clark and flashed him an exaggerated grin. "Are you on a date?"
Lauren laughed as though the suggestion was utterly preposterous as if Richard had suggested they all start a public sing-along of nursery rhymes while wearing mismatched socks and rubber chicken hats. "No, don't be ridiculous. Of course we're not on a date…."
Clark might have wondered why Lauren found the suggestion of them being on a date seemingly absurd. The thought of whether he should be offended might have crossed his mind if he hadn't had a more pressing matter to worry about at the moment.
"And what's with the hair?" Richard chuckled, gesturing to Clark's head.
"We were just at the la…" Lauren started to explain.
"Having dinner," Clark interrupted. "We're just having dinner." Clark raised his eyebrows and nodded at Lauren.
She furrowed her brow and gave Clark a little hand shrug. Why did he look so nervous? "What?" she mouthed.
Clark shot Richard a desperate look, but he didn't get the hint.
Lois was still grinning from ear to ear. She turned to Lauren. "How do you guys know each other?" It suddenly occurred to her. "Did Superman introduce you?" she asked in a near whisper.
Clark watched Lauren's jaw drop. Lauren looked at Clark and then back at Lois and then back at Clark again, who gave her an almost imperceptible nod.
"Yes," Clark answered for her.
"Yes," Lauren agreed.
Clark started breathing again.
"Ah." Lois nodded her head, still grinning. "Well, I think this is great. This is so cute. We were just on our way out, though. The babysitter needs to leave in 20 minutes. It was nice to see you, Lauren. See you tomorrow, Clark."
After they left, Clark clasped his hands together and gave Lauren a little head bow. "Thank you," he whispered earnestly.
"Oh my god! You're Clark Kent!"
"Yes."
"You shared the byline with Lois on those articles about Emil."
"Yup." Clark nodded.
"And Lois doesn't know!" Lauren said in disbelief.
"Nope." Clark shook his head.
"…that the guy she's been working with all this time…."
"...a long time."
"…is Superman…"
"Yup."
"…and the father of her child!"
"The way you say it makes it sound so…. not ideal." Clark chuckled sheepishly.
"How does she not know?" Lauren shook her head in bewilderment.
"It's complicated."
"What's complicated?"
Clark didn't answer right away. He was relieved when the waitress arrived a few moments later to take their order. Lauren ordered the halibut special and a side salad. Clark ordered three appetizers and Bruno's signature 6oz burger deluxe, along with 4 side dishes and, after asking Lauren for her preference, 2 glasses of Cabernet Sauvignon. Lauren's amused smile got wider and wider with each extra item Clark ordered.
When he was done and the waitress had left, he joked to Lauren, "I'm really not that hungry. I already had supper earlier today."
"How many calories do you eat a day, anyway?"
"I'm surprised you haven't asked me that already."
"Emil and I are slow rolling all that ridiculous stuff, in case you haven't noticed. Right now I'm just curious."
"Oh, I don't know. Probably 8 or 9 thousand."
"Mmm. That's not really that much considering how much power you exert when you're..." Lauren waved her hand around in a way that reminded him of his mother. "… you know."
"Most of that comes from the sun, not from my food. How many calories do you eat every day?" Clark grinned at her. "Just curious."
The wine arrived, and they both raised their glasses, saying "cheers" simultaneously. For some reason, it struck them both as funny. Clark chuckled, and Lauren giggled. They both put their glasses down at the same time, not trusting themselves to take a sip until their laughter subsided, wary of a spontaneous spit-take. For some reason, they both found this funny as well.
"What's so funny?" Clark asked.
"Beats me." Lauren shrugged and let out another little giggle.
"So how many calories do you eat every day?"
"I don't know. I think around 2000 is average for us average people. What's so complicated with Lois?"
Clark groaned. "Can we talk some more about calories?"
"I'm just trying to make conversation," Lauren taunted him good-naturedly. She continued in a sincere tone, "but of course if you don't want to talk about it…."
"Nah, it's alright." Clark picked up his wine glass and took a generous sip. "It's just the way things worked out with us." He put the glass down and clasped his hands together, interlacing his fingers thoughtfully. For several moments, he stared off into the distance somewhere over Lauren's left shoulder. "Growing up, it seemed like the right thing to do to try to fit in… pretend I was just like everyone else. When I started…" Clark separated his fingers momentarily to wave one hand around gently as he lowered his voice to almost a whisper. "…the Superman stuff, I started living this dual life. Clark Kent and Superman. It was just a good arrangement all around. It let me have kind of a normal life with work and friends and all that, and they were protected from all the…" Clark's face broke into a grin. "… freaky Superman craziness. I got my dream job at the Planet. Lois and I were partners, and friends. I fell so head over heels for her. She was lukewarm, at best, towards me… towards Clark. We went out to dinner a couple of times. I don't know if that would ever have gone anywhere." Clark paused for a moment. "But with me… with Clark… that kind of relationship…. can only go so far."
"What do you mean?" Lauren waited for Clark to explain, but he had closed his eyes and gone silent.
Clark let his mind drift into the past, allowing the vivid recollections to wash over him…
The gymnasium had been transformed into a celestial wonderland. Glittering stars adorned the walls, shimmering strands of silver and blue dangled from the ceiling, and the dance floor glowed with an ethereal light.
Lana, in her elegant mauve gown, radiated grace and beauty. Her eyes sparkled with excitement, mirroring the galaxies that adorned the gym. Clark, in a classic black suit, felt an unfamiliar blend of nervousness and joy as he took her hand, leading her onto the cosmic dance floor.
The music swirled around them, a mix of slow ballads and upbeat tunes. They danced under the stars, twirling and spinning as if gravity had momentarily released its hold. Lana's laughter rang in his ears, a melodic soundtrack to the enchanting atmosphere of the celestial-themed prom.
The soft melodies of a slow dance. The warmth of Lana's hand in his as they swayed to the music. The dimly lit room, bathed in the glow of adolescent romance, became a sanctuary of shared dreams and whispered promises.
In a quiet moment away from the cosmic dance floor, they found a corner adorned with twinkling lights. They talked about their future together, surrounded by the enchantment of the night. It was a moment suspended in time, where the boundaries of high school seemed to fade away, leaving only the magic of young love...
Clark shifted his gaze back to Lauren. "I can't have a serious relationship, as Clark, with anyone without telling them who I am. They have a right to know what they're getting into. I wasn't ready to tell Lois yet. So I decided to pursue her as Superman instead, and she fell in love… with Superman. Problem is, Superman is just an act that I put on. He's a persona I wear to inspire confidence and hope because that's the kind of superhero the world needs. But that's not really me."
The waitress arrived with the salad and appetizers. She gave Clark a strange look. Perhaps she had overheard the last part of what he had said, or maybe she was staring at his hair, or both. Clark flashed her a goofy grin and she responded with a polite, humoring smile.
After the waitress left, Clark turned his grin on Lauren. "Too easy. People don't see what's right in front of them."
Lauren nodded in agreement. She took a bite of salad, pondering what Clark had been telling her. "We all have different personas that we use in different circumstances. I don't act the same at the Labs as I do when I'm with my friends, or when I'm video calling with my niece and nephew. But I'm always me."
"But I'm not, and all the more so when it came to Lois. She already knew Clark so well, and she's so observant and intuitive. I always exaggerated my Superman persona when I was with her. It wasn't really on purpose. It was more instinctive. I just didn't want her to make that connection between Clark and Superman. I didn't… think of the… ramifications… And honestly, I'm not sure I would have done anything differently anyway. I was so crazy in love with her."
Clark considered the three appetizers in front of him and decided to start with the avocado egg rolls. They ate in silence for a few minutes.
"Have you ever been in love?" Clark asked.
"No."
"It makes you feel really… vulnerable. I guess that's OK when everything is going well and everyone has been honest. I know I have to tell Lois that I'm Clark. But how can I explain to her that I'm not Superman? She's going to question whether she even knows the real me, and if she was ever really in love with me…." Clark's anguished voice trailed off. "My feelings for her were real," he added softly.
"This is so not my area of expertise," Lauren confessed. "But I supposed it would depend on which of Superman's qualities Lois fell in love with, if they were the ones you were faking or exaggerating. You're genuinely very sweet and kind and gentle. And you can't fake being smart or having a good sense of humor. I'm sure those are qualities that she saw in Superman."
"Thanks. That's nice of you to say so" Clark smiled at her. He took a sip of wine to hide his embarrassment. "Her falling in love with Richard is kind of a clue. He's all those things and more. He's everything Superman is, and I'm not: sophisticated, confident, brave, serious…"
"I agree you're not the serious type, and I wouldn't know about sophisticated. But you're definitely brave," Lauren insisted.
"Not really," Clark sighed.
"Being brave is not about how you feel inside, it's about what you do and how you act."
Clark smiled. "You sound like Kara"
"It's true. When the world needs you, you're there for us. You always step up and do the right thing. That makes you brave."
"But I haven't done the right thing, not when it comes to Lois," Clark pointed out. "It's easy to be brave when nothing can hurt you. Lois is probably the only person on this planet that can really hurt me…. besides Lex Luthor, I guess. I haven't had the guts to confront either of them."
Lauren didn't have a good comeback for that. She wanted to comfort Clark, but felt very inadequate to the task. "I'm sorry. I'm not doing a great job helping you feel better." She pretended to want to finish her salad.
Clark noticed Lauren seemed deflated. "It's alright, Lauren. It's not your job to fix all of my problems. It's good to be able to talk to someone other than my mother, who thinks I'm perfect can't understand why any woman wouldn't fall madly in love with me. Thanks for listening."
Their main dishes arrived. Clark attacked the burger with gusto.
Lauren watched him for a few moments with amusement. "A lot of people swear you're a vegetarian."
"That's a subset of the people that don't know I grew up on a farm."
"Really? You grew up on a farm?"
"Yup." Clark took another huge bite.
"And not a vegetarian one."
"Nope. Definitely not. What about you?"
"I grew up in suburbia. My dad's an administrator at a nursing home. My mom's a chemist. I have an older sister. She has two kids."
"Your favorite people in the world."
"Yup." Lauren smiled just thinking about them.
"And?"
"What?"
"There's another sibling?" Clark was usually pretty good at reading people. "It seemed like you were about to tell me…"
Lauren let out a nervous sigh.
"It's OK, you don't have to…"
"I have a younger brother," Lauren confessed. "He's kind of the black sheep of the family." Lauren shrunk a little bit into her seat and went silent.
After dinner, Clark and Lauren returned to the lab so Lauren could finish up her work for the night. She refused his offer to fly her home. He hailed her a cab and even offered to pay for it, but she insisted she preferred the subway. There was no way he would let her take the subway by herself this time of night, even though she pointed out she had been doing just that every week for the last year and a half. He ended up accompanying her on the subway. After exiting the underground tunnels, they continued their conversation during their trek to Lauren's apartment above ground.
"And then…." Clark was laughing so hard, he could barely get the words out. "…and then…. I said…" Clark paused to calm down a little. He continued, using his best Superman impression, "…statistically speaking, it's still the safest way to travel."
Lauren was also laughing. "And what did she say?"
"Nothing. She was at a loss for words. She's never at a loss for words. And then she followed me out and…" He let out another burst of laughter. "… she fainted right there on the escape slide…"
"Again?" Lauren laughed.
"…. and she… slid down… ugh… oh… my sides hurt."
"Really?"
"Well, they would if they could." Clark chuckled pathetically at his own joke.
"This is it." Lauren gestured to the building they were approaching.
Clark had been so engrossed in conversation with Lauren, he hadn't really taken notice of where they had been walking. For the first time, he noticed they were on the outskirts of Hob's Bay. He tried not to grimace when he looked up at the building Lauren had indicated. Surely Emil paid Lauren well enough to afford a better apartment in safer part of town.
"I'll walk you up."
"No, no, really, that's not necessary," Lauren insisted, a little too emphatically. "I walk up there every night by myself. I'll be fine"
Clark detected a brief moment of panic in Lauren's expression, accompanied by a slight elevation in her blood pressure. He wasn't sure what to make of that.
Lauren retrieved a keychain from her purse, unlocked the door, and opened it. "Thanks for walking me home. Bye." She reached over, giving Clark's arm a quick squeeze, and then turned towards the doorway. But instead of stepping inside, she paused, turning back to look at Clark. He smiled at her. She smiled back and turned toward the doorway again and took a step inside. Then she turned back and looked at Clark. He was still standing there.
The way Lauren kept turning around to alternately look at him and then through the doorway and then back at him reminded Clark of how she had acted the day before when he was lying naked on the scanner table. The only difference was her mouth was hanging open then. Her behavior was perplexing.
"Bye," Lauren said again. She gave him a little wave.
"Bye," Clark repeated, returning her wave.
"You can go. You don't… have to…watch me. I'll be fine."
Clark got the hint what Lauren was really telling him was that she didn't want him to watch her. Why? Maybe she was embarrassed about her apartment. "OK, bye. Good night." Clark turned around and started walking slowly away. He heard Lauren step through the doorway. Keeping his superhearing locked on the padded footfalls of her loafers, he followed Lauren's journey through the entrance, down the hallway, and up four flights of creaky stairs. The jingling of her keychain and the sound of a doorlock turning let him know she had reached her apartment safely. He was about to tune out when a disinterested female voice spoke. "Hey Lauren."
Clark gave his head a vigorous shake, trying to disengage his superhearing. He didn't want to eavesdrop on Lauren's private conversations. Sure, he had eavesdropped on her and Kara, but that was different. And sure, he had also eavesdropped on Lois and Richard. That was just creepy. He had already told them about it, apologized and told them he would never do it again. He scanned the sounds around him, deciding to briefly focus his hearing on the pitter patter of the rats scurrying about in a nearby alley. That did the trick. The sounds from Lauren's apartment merged with the general cacophony of the rest of Metropolis. He took a few moments to wonder about the voice he had heard in Lauren's apartment. Strange. Hadn't Lauren said 'pretty much' nothing but leftovers were waiting for her at her home? But then he shrugged off his puzzlement. It wasn't really any of his business.
He looked around for a good place to change outfits. Superman had been neglecting his "duties" recently. There were probably hardly any posts on ispottedsuperman lately. He identified the nearby rat-infested alley as his best option, and started walking in that direction.
On his way to the alley, Clark caught his reflection in a store window. His hair looked ridiculous. He smiled as he imagined tomorrow mornings' headlines: "Caped Curl Chaos… The Day Superman Let Loose… Kryptonite or Hair Gel?... Hero's Hair Havoc Hits Metropolis:" He wondered if Lois would make any connection with how he looked at the restaurant earlier that evening.
If she did, it was OK. He had decided. He had made up his mind.
Tomorrow was the day.