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Chapter 2
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"Oh no. This is so not happening." Sabrina stares hopelessly at Puck. Or rather, stares at herself.
"You're telling me!" Puck says in a voice that is far too high pitched.
Because he's a girl.
Because he's freaking Sabrina.
"S-stay calm," Sabrina advises, but instantly reaches her hand up to her throat in shock. It's Puck's voice coming from her, too deep and rumbly through her now broad chest.
Puck looks down at the hands of the body he's inhabiting and flips the arms over, as if he can will them back to the way he knows they should be.
"We're-we're switched or something," he says, almost hysteric. "I'm you and you're me!"
Sabrina scowls, the urge to whack him upside the head near impossible to resist. "No really, captain pus-for-brains, I hadn't noticed."
His eyes light up with an idea. "It was that artifact, I bet. And if it changed us once, it probably can again."
Sabrina's grins, relieved. "You're right, I think," she searches around herself for a moment then frowns. "It's not over here." She looks to Puck. "I'm pretty sure I had it last."
He lifts an eyebrow at her, shoving a piece of rock from his leg. "Yeah, so get to finding it, peasant."
Sabrina rolls her eyes. "I meant when I was in my body."
"Oh," he says, continuing to stare at her.
"So maybe look around you."
Puck blinks. "Right, right." He pushes over a dusty pile of stones and smiles. "Here it is."
Sabrina manages to pull herself the rest of the way out of the mess and gives Puck a hand sitting up, and immediately feels weird holding his hand. It's way too slim and soft compared to what she's used to when reaching for him. She shivers, "Uh, let's do this quick. I never want to experience that again."
Puck grimaces, holding out the artifact. "You and me both."
Sabrina grabs onto the item underneath Puck like he did earlier and waits for the melding sensation and the light show.
But nothing happens.
Puck takes it from her. "Oh, come on!" he shakes it like it needs new batteries, and a disturbing crackling and crunching sound comes from the item. He opens his hands and rolls it over, showing a long crack along the shaft. He goes pale. "It broke when we fell." The device drops from his hands, useless.
Sabrina feels like the whole world is tilting beneath her, coming unraveled. Nausea churns her stomach into a mosh pit. In a small voice, she whispers, "what are we going to do?"
Puck never gets to answer that question, because a voice shouts to them from above. "Puck! Sabrina!"
"Down here," Puck yells back.
A moment later, Jake floats down to them, encased in a blue bubble that pops against the floor. He still has bits of troll goo on him, but immediately rushes to Sabrina and pulls her up from the rubble and hugs her. "Thank goodness you guys are alright," he says, voice shaking with relief. "That crash sounded really bad." He hugs her tighter, causing her to lose all of the air in her lungs.
Stunned by his concern and enthusiasm, she pats his back awkwardly. "Need to-need to breathe," she manages.
Sheepishly, he releases her, and now, standing on two feet, she realizes just how difficult this switch is going to be. Her balance is completely messed up. Her upper body feels way too heavy and she nearly topples over, only saved by wings-freaking wings, suddenly popping out of her back and fluttering in the cramped space.
"Woah, be careful, those are delicate," Puck warns, getting up himself, only to find that his own balance is just as screwed. He wobbles, trying to take a step forward like some drunkard and falls onto Jake, who luckily was ready to catch him.
"Geez, 'Brina, you alright?"
"I'm not-" Puck starts, then clamps his jaws shut, not ready to admit that he's a girl of all the vile horrible things in the world. "M'fine," he mumbles.
Jake lets him go, and Puck manages to stay on his feet this time. Sabrina, on the other hand, is struggling. The wings, her wings refuse to retract. She scowls at them before deciding that she just needs to deal with it.
"What happened?" Jake inquires, looking at the rubble and wreckage.
Puck is scuffing his shoes against the ground dejectedly, and Sabrina realizes she needs to be the one to speak. She clears her throat, still not used to the way her voice feels. "Well, we chased the troll through the cave and it hit me into a secret switch that opened the room above us. Inside, we found a throne with the crown..." she trails off, trying to figure out how to continue.
"The crown?" Jake presses.
Sabrina sighs. "It's buried somewhere in this rubble. It could be destroyed for all we know."
Jake's brow furrows. "So did picking it up cause this?"
"This is stupid," Puck announces, throwing his arms into the air, but as he does he yelps a startled ow, lowering them to cradle his left shoulder with his right. "What the heck?"
"Did you hurt yourself when we fell?" Sabrina asks, suddenly anxious that he'd hurt her precious body.
Puck's face takes on a superior expression. "Of course not, dogface."
Jake kneels next to him, his mouth pulled in concerned. "it's worth checking out." He gently palpates Puck's shoulder and chest, and he winces. The older man looks sorry for him. "Looks like a fractured collar bone, 'Brina."
His face goes red with frustration. "That's not possible! I've never broken a bone before."
Sabrina opens her mouth in exasperation, about to try and cover his blunder, but Jake beats her to the punch. He frowns, deep lines forming in between his eyebrows. He puts the back of his hand against Puck's forehead, checking for a fever. "You sure you're feeling okay? You broke your arm before, remember? Back when we first met."
Sabrina coughs, trying to be discreet as she growls, "yeah, and yo-I drew on your face with permanent marker."
"Oh, that's it!" Puck shouts, shoving them away with his good arm. "I can't do this. Jake, we have a huge problem."
Sabrina makes a small noise in the back of her throat, but Puck forges on. He gestures to his chest, at Sabrina's body. "I'm not Sabrina. I'm Puck-that-" he points at Sabrina, "is the real Sabrina."
She waves at her uncle weakly, feeling utterly embarrassed. "It's not our fault," she says, picking up the discarded artifact. "This thing glowed when we both touched it and nearly blew us up."
Jake stares at them, wide eyed, quiet for a long, long time. The only sound is that of the waterfall far off in the other cavern. Then, Jake cracks, his face splitting into a grin, and he begins to laugh raucously.
The two teenagers share an outraged look.
"You're not taking this seriously!" Sabrina exclaims, stomping her foot.
He wipes a tear from his eye, finding a moment to breathe and speak. "Oh, I assure you I am."
"Yeah right-look at that smirk." Puck crosses his arms over his chest and instantly forms an expression of confusion and regret. He swiftly lowers his arms until they hang loosely at his sides, cringing as he shifts his bad shoulder. Jake catches this slip up and begins to laugh even harder.
"Uncle Jake," Sabrina says, her voice nearing a whine, "come on, you have to help us fix this."
He finally reigns himself in. "Did you try touching it again?"
Sabrina can't help but roll her eyes, a strange thing to see on Puck's face. "Of course we did. It's busted."
Jake's face blanches. "That's really bad." He takes the device from Sabrina and examines the damage. He whistles. "Wow, that's impressive."
"So what do we do?" Sabrina demands. "I can't stay like this forever."
"Me either," Puck chimes in.
Jake looks down for a moment, deep in thought, storing the object away. "I," he licks his lips, "I don't know." Before the teenagers can start yelling he holds up his hands. "But I do have an idea of where to start. I know lots of people in the magical artifact community. I'll figure something out. For now," he turns to Puck, "we need to regroup, do something about that break."
Puck scowls. "Can't you just use some of that magic healing ointment?"
Jake sighs. "No can do. We ran out back in Okinawa."
Sabrina glares at Puck. "I told you it was a bad idea to tell that ghost samurai that his katana was inferior."
"It was!"
As they bicker about the purpose of insults and nearly getting sliced in half, Jake manages to find a roll of bandages in his many pocketed coat. After breaking up their argument, he, with the aid of Sabrina, lash Puck's arm to his body to immobilize the injury.
Puck frowns, scratching at the place where the bandage rubs the bare skin of his neck. "I feel like an invalid."
Sabrina can't help but snicker, and Puck shoots her murderous look which gives Jake whiplash because it seems so much like something they would do normally in their proper bodies.
"Alright, Puck fly us out of..." Jake trails off, Puck lifting an eyebrow at the man.
"Yeah, that's not happening," he assures, his good hand on his hip. He rounds on Sabrina. "And no way you're getting us out of here. I intend on getting those wings back in perfect condition."
Sabrina looks at the big, pink fluttery things. "That'd be a lot easier if I could get them to go back in."
Puck stares at her. "You can't get them to...?" He wipes his hand down his face like this issue is beneath him. "C'mere," he says at last, hesitantly making his way over the rocks. His balance is still abysmal, but at least he knows what to expect.
He steps behind Sabrina and places a hand on her back, right above the wings. When he does this, something hot and fluid shoots down her spine, flooding her belly with warmth. For some reason, her cheeks begin to feel warmer, too. She frowns, what the heck?
"You need to relax," he advises, right next to that place below her ear.
Sabrina feels her heart begin to thump hard against her ribs. "Gah, I get it," she barks, pushing away from him. "That's kind of hard to do with all the touching and breathing down my neck." She stands off to the side and closes her eyes, breathing in through her nose. Finally, like some kind of release, she feels the wings fold back. She opens her eyes and checks just to make sure. "Oh thank goodness."
Jake nods in approval. "Good job, now," he says, fishing a silvery wand from his pocket, "this should be enough to get us out of here." With a complicated turning and poking motion, Jake makes the wand produce three bubbles around the group, lazily floating them upwards. Once safely in the large waterfall cavern, they retrace their steps out of the guatalami keep.
"Good riddance," Sabrina mutters as they squeeze through the entrance tunnel.
Puck grunts in agreement.
Once back outside, it becomes apparent that they have another problem. The night had set in and the rain was only pounding down harder. Puck's teeth begin to chatter as he shivers. "S-so c-c-cold," he chitters, trying to hug himself with one arm.
Sabrina considers him for a moment. She'd come in only wearing an athletic shirt and thick canvas camo pants since it had been so balmy when they trekked through the jungle earlier. Even with the cooler night air, however, it shouldn't feel that cold to him. Her brow knits with concern, and she shrugs off the brown hunting jacket she has on and places it across his shoulders. "I think that fracture is draining all of his heat and energy," she explains, helping him get his good arm through the hole.
"What?" he says, pulling the heat of the jacket as close to himself as he can. "Is that some dumb human feature?"
Sabrina looks up to the sky for strength to not smack him, hurt or not.
Jake steps in, seeing her struggle. "Humans aren't as temperature resistant as fairies, Puck."
"No wonder you're always taking my clothes," he grumbles, the shivering easing.
Sabrina blushes at that. Alright, sure, she'd been cold a few times in the many places they'd been and he'd grudgingly offered so she wouldn't, quote, 'turn into a living Grimmsickle' but it hadn't been that many times!
Jake pushes them both in the back. "C'mon, guys, we need to get back to the car and out of this weather as soon as possible."
With that, the three adventures make the two hour long journey through the jungle in the dark. They get lost a few times and Jake has to consult the map, but eventually they find their way to their abandoned rental jeep.
"I was going to get to drive back," Puck complains as Sabrina slides in next to him in the back, shaking water from her hair.
"Which I never agreed to," Jake says from the front, turning the windshield wipers all the way up to their max speed.
Sabrina looks ahead at the endless stretch of mud that is the road. It was a good thing that Jake was driving. He has a way with cars.
The ride back is mostly silent, only broken by the occasional squeak from Puck when the rough road jostled his injury. He begins to look very pale by the time they make it to smoother asphalt.
"Are you okay?" Sabrina asks.
Puck gives her an incredulous look. "You know, believe it or not I am very not okay. Aren't you still freaking out?"
Sabtina sits back with a sigh, crossing her arms. "Oh believe me, this absolutely is the worst. But at this point, I'm exhausted." She pauses, then tacks on, "and starving." She closes her eyes, and within a few moments, dozes off.
She wakes a few minutes later when Jake parks at their hotel. After shaking off her drowsiness, which is harder than it should be-it's like his body could sleep like a rock for three days and still not be satiated.
They sneak through the lobby and back to their room. Once inside, Sabrina collapses on one bed and Puck sits up on the pillows of the other. Meanwhile, Jake pulls out his phone and hastily dials a number.
"What're you doing?" Sabrina asks with a yawn.
"Calling in backup," he says, waiting for the dial tone to end. "We need to get back to Ferryport Landing ASAP."
The other line opens up and he sighs in relief. "Hey, mom," Jake says in a fake, overly cheerful voice.
"Jacob," comes a bright yet bleary voice, "it's nice of you to call, but it's the middle of the night."
"Sorry," Jake says sheepishly, "but I wouldn't call if it wasn't urgent."
"What's wrong?" her sleepiness vanishes.
"Well, we got into a little trouble tonight, and we're not going to be able to catch our flight tomorrow. I know you like us avoiding using magic if we can, but do you think you could help us out with some long distance travel and a tube of Satin Surgeon Salve wouldn't hurt either."
"Just give me one moment." The distinctive sound of a bed creaking can be heard over the phone as the old woman leaves her room.
"You called the old lady?" Puck asks, sitting up.
Sabrina panics, suddenly much less tired. "You can't tell her what happened."
Jake chuckles. "Don't get yourself in a twist. We need her help getting home and to heal Puck."
Sabrina looks like she wants to protest more, but Relda begins talking to Jake once more.
"Alright, I've found just the thing, where are you?"
"Hotel Casa Turire in Costa Rica."
"Good, now, everyone hold hands and anything you want to take with you."
With a groan, Puck rises from the bed along with his backpack and jacket. Sabrina does the same, grabbing her suitcase. Jake never carries luggage, so he simply reaches out his hand and takes hers. Puck snatches Sabrina's hand.
"I thought we weren't doing this again," he says out the side of his mouth.
Sabrina shoots him a nasty look. "Don't make me leave you here, fairy boy."
"We're holding hands," Jake informs Relda, ignoring the brewing irritation of the teenagers.
"I'll bring you over, there might be a slight tugging sensation."
Slight is bad word choice.
Extreme fits much better.
Sabrina feels like her guts are trying to turn themselves inside out, her skin folding into itself, the sound of what seems like thousands of bees swarming playing in her ears. Then, the sensation passes, and she opens her eyes to a calm summer evening in Ferryport Landing, right outside of Granny Relda's house. The switch from pounding rain to soft crickets is disconcerting. She stumbles into Puck who shoves her away.
Jake shakes off the weird feeling quickly and leads them to the front door.
Once there, Sabrina pulls Puck back and hisses in his ear, "no one else can know, got it?"
He just shakes his head. "You really think you can pull this off?"
She nods grimly. "We have to. I don't think I can take any more reactions like Jake's."
The door swings open, effectively cutting off anything else she was going to say, and the welcoming face of Relda appears, sweeping her younger son into a hug.
"Sheesh, I didn't even have a chance to knock!" he wheezes.
Relda laughs. "It's not everyday I see my son." She turns to the teenagers and her happy expression melts into concern. "Oh liebling, what happened to your arm?"
Puck sighs. "It's a long story." He looks miserable, tired and defeated.
"Broken collar bone," Jake summerizes.
Relda nods. "Come on in then."
As she waves them inside, Sabrina can't help but note how her hands shake whenever she holds them still. How she's thinner than she remembers from last Christmas. But her eyes and cheeks are full of life, filling the space with cozy love.
Relda sits Puck down at one of the chairs at the kitchen table. Elvis rises from the floor, stretching with a groan before walking up to Puck, tail wagging. Puck pets the big dog absently as Relda retrieves a tin of black goop with a label that reads: SATIN SURGEON SALVE, now with HOLIDAY VANILLA SCENT.
As she opens the medicine, Elvis begins sniffing Puck, then, with a confused expression, trots over to Sabrina and begins to sniff her intently.
"Good boy Elvis," she says, scratching behind his ears.
The dog lets out a small woof, then looks from Puck to Sabrina, as if trying to figure something out.
Carefully, Relda spreads the tar like ointment over Puck's collar bone. His face twists up for a terse moment, then relaxes. He sighs in relief. "Thanks old lady," he mumbles tiredly.
Relda blinks at this, but doesn't call it out. Instead, she smiles gently at Puck. "Tired, liebling?" She looks at the other two. "How long have you been awake?"
Jake pulls up his sleeve and notes the time. He laughs nervously. "Almost twenty four hours."
Relda shakes her head. "Then off to bed, all of you."
"Here," Jake says, placing a hand on Puck's back, "I'll help you up." The two head for the stairs, and Sabrina is about to follow them when Relda calls out.
"Wait up for a moment, won't you Puck?"
It takes her a second to register that she needs to answer, and she spins to face her granny. "Yeah?" she says, trying her best to sound like Puck would.
Relda shuffles over to her, her fluffy slippers making little shuff shuff sounds across the floor. She reaches up and touches his face kindly. "It's so good to see you again, liebling. The house has been quiet without you."
Sabrina smiles awkwardly, suddenly feeling like a trespasser in a private conversation. "Well, you know, I do my best."
Relda ruffles her hair, which looks a little funny since she has to reach up so far. "How was Sabrina?" she asks with a twinkle in her eye. "Other than falling and breaking her collar bone, I mean."
Sabrina swallows. "Why are you asking me?"
The old woman tilts her head with a knowing look. "You know her best. She can't help but be honest with you."
Sabrina doesn't know how to feel about that, suddenly self conscious. "I uh, I think she had a good time." She pauses for a moment. Hesitantly, she adds, "she wanted you to know she was glad you convinced her to come along."
Relda beams at this and hugs her. "I'm glad." she pulls away, although Sabrina wished the embrace could last longer. "I've kept you up for long enough, go on."
Nodding gratefully, she yawns and wanders upstairs.
She finds her room and it takes until she's opened it that she realizes she's made a mistake. Puck's fast asleep, curled up in the comforter along with several blankets. Sabrina retreats, carefully closing the door.
"Trampoline it is," she mutters to herself.
She's too tired to really enjoy the beauty of Puck's room, but the fresh air feels nice. For the thousandth time she wonders how this place was possible, how far it stretches.
Magic, she thinks wryly, running her hands through her short hair. Such a wonderful thing.
At the trampoline, she finds a large puma snoozing on the surface. Her eyes widen for a moment upon seeing the huge fangs creeping out from under its lip, but quickly calms herself. All of the animals in Puck's room were tame. Usually.
She shoos the beast off, and it leaves after giving her an annoyed look.
She lays down, staring up at the fake sky. As she drifts off, she wonders if Puck, too, looks at the stars before he falls asleep.
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AN: I've had the idea of writing a body swap fic for these two for awhile, and the first few lines of this were the beginnings of that idea. I know that Ayns and Sky wrote one a looonngg time ago, 48 Hours, hilarious piece. I'm pretty sure someone else did one but I can't remember who for the life of me. Have any of you guys even read from Ayns and Sky? They haven't written for this fandom for a long time, but they're kind of matriarchs for this community, in my opinion.
Anyways, you may have noticed that this came out in a very timely manner. This isn't because I've prewritten this-I'm trying to challenge myself with this fic by writing at least 1,000 a words a day with the end goal to be to get a chapter out every week. Expect chapters out on Wednesdays or Thursdays.
Reviews:
DURADO'96: Thanks! I'm glad you like how I write our favorite crazies.
M: Glad you like my writing style!
Curlscat: Oh yeah. Let the chaos begin.
ralphenation: Hope it lived up to your expectations, haha.
Sisters Grimm4ever: Here it is!
See you next week,
-Pinklily8
(P.S. I'm reading the books again with my husband and I FORGOT how many amazing lines there are in the ninth book. It's full of the best comments of each major character. I mean, there's a scene where Jake yells at the rest of his family that he doesn't care if his soul is hurt through murder and then points at Briar's grave and says, "you want to see my soul? It's down there in that hole!" Like holy crap. What's you guy's favorite line in the books?)