Chapter 19: A Fresh Start

Through the void once more, YN's conscious drifted. He'd died once more in this new world.

I really hope Subaru managed to stay alive long enough to let the scent linger away, if not, we're screwed.

YN thought back to what Rem had said about what he could do to make her not doubt him.

It seemed as if flirtation, as odd as it was, seemed to be the trick.

Thinking back, far, far, far back, he remembered his first morning at the mansion, waking up after having his mana drained on from Beatrice.

Rem: Guest-sama, do you know where you are?

And the only thing YN could have hoped to have replied at the time was:

YN: H-h-heaven.

YN sighed a non-existent sigh, and scratching his non-existent face in self embarrassment.

That really could have gone better the first time. he thought. His memory had made him come to one crucial realization though.

What if that's what Rem meant, before I died, that if I had 'swayed her,' she wouldn't have suspected me?

But what had that meant, exactly? Any time I had made Rem blush was a time she wasn't so openly hostile towards me...—!

Realizing the connection, YN felt the sensation of his conscious filling back into his own body, ready to be awoken by Rem and Ram as they entered the room to the smell of fresh sheets and flowers.

However, this was not the case.

Feeling his essence be poured into his body, he felt himself standing, rather then lying in bed.

No… No! Don't tell me the checkpoint changed!

Panicked, YN's mind began to race with what this could possibly mean. For a few moments his mind seemed like it would go nonstop, until his vision finally snapped to reality.

White.

Nothing but an intense, never ending expanse of white. Devoid of temperature, devoid of any stimulation.

Turning and looking all about, YN confirmed that he was the only entity of existence in this strange realm he had found himself in once more. Taking a breath, he felt no air come in, but in reply, his body did not long for a breath of air either. There would be no satisfaction to the desire of breath. There would be no desire to satisfy a need to breathe.

As YN looked about, the same wave of fatigue hit him like the last time he was in this white expanse. With his muscles tiring, his eyes becoming heavy, and his mind struggling to maintain focus, YN collapsed to the unfeeling floor, and was quickly carried away to slumber.

YN awoke and fell asleep an untold amount of time. As if unable to fully awake from a dream, YN's time awake was never long, and it was never entirely lucid either. More and more, YN began to struggle to determine dream from reality. Was he having dreams of waking up? This time it felt more like a dream. No. This time is certainly isn't a dream. Then why can't he wake up further? How much more can he sleep? How long is he even asleep for when he is? Sometimes it feels so short, others it feels like an eternity.

Slowly, YN began to fear he would lose his mind to this lack of stimuli.

But, despite all the dark thoughts, the absent thoughts, the repeated thoughts. All the while. His mind yearned for him to remember. He had one thing he needed to hold onto to keep his sanity.

Rem.

With the blue haired maid's image filling his mind, her voice of entered his ears.

Rem: YN-kun. Rem knows you won't ever give up.

Feeling a soft, warm sensation in his hand, YN's mind labored to recall in its finest detail the time he held the maiden's hand.

Rem: Rem wants to see YN-kun be the hero Rem knows he can be.

Feeling a stir of strength, YN began to feel himself have energy of his own once more. This time though, he would not let this world continue to sap that energy. Forcing himself, he sat up for the first time in what must have been days.

YN: I will not be controlled like this… I will not give in!

Announcing his defiance to the white expanse around him, a change had finally begun to occur.

A dark mist settled in all around him. The familiar pull and feel of Return By Death had arrived. Out from the mist, dark shadowy hands grew.

Enveloping themselves around him, the hands seemed to almost pick him up, forcing him to stand, giving him a renewed sense of self. The hands continued to pull him along, deeper and deeper into the void of dark, misty, murky nothingness.

Having a good feeling of what was to begin next, he felt the same similar sensations of what Return By Death was like the first time he had experienced it.

Knowing what would come next, with the bed, the guest room, and the twins, YN knew what he must do next.

Like always, it began with the tingle of sunlight on his eyelids, beckoning a morning sun, shining brightly, a day full of opportunity.

Next would always come the smell. The freshness of new, washed bed-sheets, accompanied by the fragrance of fresh cut flowers, sitting in their vase, picked at full bloom.

Finally, the sheets that enveloped his resting body, cool and soft to the touch, tucked neatly around him as his body helped rouse himself awake.

Faintly, he could hear it. The sound a footsteps down the hallway, ever so light and quiet, but he has learned to expect it, and that would be the only way he'd ever have noticed it.

A hand had been placed on the door, ready to twist the knob and make an entrance, doing their little sisterly routine as they always did.

Turning the knob, the twins entered.

Rem: Nee-sama Nee-sama, our guest sleeps well into the late morning.

Ram: Rem Rem, our guest appears to be a deadbeat who sleeps in till noon.

Rem: Nee-sama Nee-sama, it would appear so. Would you mind waking him while I check on our other guest—

Rem had stopped. Her words were cut off again.

The last time this happened, it meant that—!

As he recalled the loop which he had died the first day, the loop right after the forest interrogation, the same thing had happened then too.

Panic filled YN's mind.

W-what happened? Did Subaru fail to stay alive long enough to let the scent disperse some? Did something terrible happen? Are we really going to have to do all this again?

As his mind raced in the moment Rem was silent, a new sound was heard.

?: *Yaaaaawnnn*

A yawn filled the silence left by Rem's cut off words.

Hearing the sound of sheets being rustled, YN continued to listen in, eyes closed, but awake nonetheless.

The yawn turned into a groan of pain, of which the twins reacted to.

Ram: Guest-sama, are you feeling unwell?

Rem: Guest-sama, do you have a chronic illness flaring up?

Subaru: No no, I'm fine.

Ram: Let Ram open the window to let some fresh air in. Rem?

Rem: Yes Nee-sama?

Ram: Please check on our other guest, his gate was severely injured and he may be weak.

My gate was "severely" injured? Is that why Emilia has kept asking about it?

With no time to entertain the theory, YN heard Rem approach. Kneeling down to be more level with his face, Rem whispered to YN while Ram moved the curtains to open the window.

Rem: Guest-sama, are you awakening? Guest-sama?

I need to woo her quickly. What do I say? What do I say?

He kept his eyes shut still to buy time as he thought.

Placing her hand on YN's shoulder, Rem gently rocked him to rouse him.

Rem: Guest-sama, do you remember anything?

Slowly, he had to begin to open his eyes. It would be unnatural and further alarming if he did not begin to awake. With his eyes taking in the much brighter light from Ram opening the curtains, YN struggled to adjust to properly see Rem.

Rem: G-guest-sama?

Seeing him struggling to open his eyes, Rem brought a hand to her chest in sympathy and worry, but somehow, almost instinctively knew what the cause was.

With the bright light now cascading into the room, Rem moved her head forward and tilted it, bringing the shadow of her face to cover YN's, shielding his morning eyes from the rays.

Getting a clearer, and closer look on Rem's face, YN's eyes began to adjust thanks to her blocking the sun's light.

Rem: Guest-sama, do you know where you are?

His eyes halfway open now as Rem asked her question, Ram had finally managed to open the window. A cool, pleasant breeze rolled in from outside the moment the window was let open.

In his half way open vision, a grand scene played out just for him. YN's vision was suddenly filled with Rem's face.

The breeze swayed her bangs, revealing both of her deep blue eyes, like two crystal clear mountain ponds, showing the reflection of YN as he laid in bed.

And the sun light that she had halted from reaching his eyes, shined and twinkled all around her outline. Rem was bathed in a wash of a golden halo that had formed around her.

Seeing the sight before him, he was speechless. His thoughts escaped him, leaving it's connection between them and his mouth asunder. His words were only guided by the pure feelings and emotions he was feeling now.

YN: A-a-an—

Rem: — — —

Rem was waiting for her guests answer with baited breath. Rem didn't know why she was, only that nothing else seemed to matter at that very second.

With great trepidation and risk, YN spoke the only words he could find in his heart.

YN: An... An angel.

With the word's repeating again and again in her mind, a warmth began to grow in Rem's chest. Never before had she felt such a feeling overtake her like this so quickly. She knew not if these were his early morning, post dream, words of confusion and drowsiness, or his sincerest feelings.

Somehow, she felt both were equally true.

A blush, larger then he had ever seen before on her, adorned her round face, before lightly shaking her head and speaking in as quiet a voice as she had.

Rem: Not quite.

With energy flowing into himself, perhaps from waking up, perhaps from trying to seize the moment, YN replied to Rem's response.

YN: But not far off.

The two stared into each others eyes for a moment longer, both not wanting to be the first to look away. But, almost as soon as the breeze had died down, so had the sunlight a touch, and Ram called to her sister.

Ram: Rem? Is our other guest over there well?

Having to snap her gaze away from YN, she replied to her sister.

Rem: Yes, Nee-sama, he is well.

Hearing a knock at the door, a fifth person entered the room.

?: Hello? Oh. You both are awake. It was so quiet I thought something... Never mind. Anyway, Subaru you look like you have energy to spare this morning.

Subaru: Emilia-tan! I just had a lot on my mind right now but seeing you blew it all away! Maybe you're just the wonder-drug my mind needed most!

Putting her hand up like a stop sign, Emilia spoke up.

Emilia: I'm sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about, but I'm glad you're okay.

Dropping his head, Subaru lamented.

With both of the mansion's guests awake, everyone was summoned to the meal hall once the lord of the mansion had returned.

Without hesitation, both YN and Subaru had requested staff positions once more at the mansion. Subaru was made to be a butler, while YN was to be a part time groundskeeper with a tutor, this time again, Rem.

Upon hearing YN's request, Subaru also asked for help with studies, getting Ram assigned to him.

Being fitted for their work uniforms accordingly, both retired to their rooms for the evening. While in his room, YN set up his solar bank and let his nearly dead phone charge, as he always did on the first day.

Laying back in bed, YN simply had nothing to do.

I don't want to bother Subaru right now, he's probably still shellshocked from his last two deaths, despite how he was acting earlier, he has to still be upset.

Looking back, YN guessed that it had only been about twenty four hours since those events had taken place.

Getting up and stretching, he decided to head down to the mansion's bathing room for some time to think and relax.

YN trudged down the stairs and headed for the bath.

Reaching the door for the changing rooms, and subsequently the entrance to the bath, YN stopped and stared down the hallway.

Past the bathing room hallway and down the corner, was the same, less lit hallway that was home to the patio furniture storage room.

The very same room YN had died in.

Looking down the hall, hand on the changing room door, YN dropped his grip, and headed to find the same door as last time.

Was it his lingering curiosity from the "spare pantry?" Wrapping around the corner and heading down the hall, YN came to the familiar door.

Standing in front of the door, he could feel a breeze coming out from under it. Taking a deep breath, YN squeezed the handle to open the door until—

?: YN-kun? Are you lost?

Hearing a familiar voice behind him, YN looked over his shoulder, and right behind him was an equally curious blue haired maid. Turning around fully, YN looked at Rem, head tilted in curiosity at what he was doing.

There was no hostility or malice in her voice, and her body language didn't seem to describe that either.

YN: No actually, it's just when you two showed me and Subaru around you never brought us down this hallway. I was going to use the bath but it caught my attention.

Shaking her head, which really ended up shaking her whole body, her dress flowing from side to side in delayed fashion, Rem answered.

Rem: There really isn't much down this way, and much of it isn't yet relevant to your jobs... —May Rem ask another question?

Nodding to her, Rem continued.

Rem: What made YN-kun stop at this specific door?

Not really wanting to answer her truthfully, YN still replied a half truth.

YN: I felt a draft coming from under the door.

Putting a hand to her chin, Rem thought for a moment before coming to an idea, an invisible light bulb appearing above her head.

Rem: Ah, it must be...

Moving along side YN, Rem opened the door and entered the room. Looking around, Rem complained, hands on her hips.

Rem: Oh, it's so dark in here.

Stepping back out of the room and heading to the nearest crystal lamp, Rem returned with the now illuminated rock lamp.

Stepping into the room, Rem waved to YN for him to enter with her.

Somewhat hesitant, YN slowly entered through the doorway and on inside. Finally standing next to Rem, she gestures over to a large patio table, upturned on its side.

The very same one he'd been choked up next to.

Rem: Do you see?

Focusing on the table, YN hadn't a clue what she meant.

YN: The table?

Shaking her head, Rem answered.

Rem: No. Behind.

Craning his head up just a bit and putting a hand over his brows, YN focused his vision on the dark area behind the table.

It was wood. Unlike the stone around the rest of the wall and floor. It was also round wood. Like a door.

It was a door.

YN: I-I-s that a door?

Answering YN with a "Uh-huh," Rem explained.

Rem: It's the mansion's drain room. It leads down only a few steps to a grate hole. The room sometimes has a problem with rats so Nee-sama and Rem keep the table propped in front of the door to keep any from pushing their way in.

Eyes widening at the prospect of needing to barricade a door for rats, YN couldn't believe it was that necessary.

YN: H-how big do the rats get here?!

Giggling before turning to head back out the door, Rem answered.

Rem: Maybe YN-kun'll have to see sometime.

With both of them back out in the hallway, Rem shut the door with a solid "k-chunk."

Rem: Were there any other rooms YN-kun were curious about that Nee-sama and Rem neglected to show?

Shaking his head, YN replied.

YN: Not necessarily. But I thought Ram did mention something about a 'secondary' or 'backup' pantry? Isn't the rest of this hallway just storage and cleaning supplies?

Looking up slightly, Rem put her slender finger to her chin in thought.

Rem: Sometimes Nee-sama might call the drain room that as a joke. There are certain things she doesn't like that she wishes she could toss down there.

YN: Hmm, I must not have understood when she said that then.

With that, the two walked back to the more welcoming section of the mansion's hallway where the bathing room was.

YN: Anyway, thanks for entertaining my curiosity. I'll see you both again early in the morning to report for duty.

With a hand-wave from YN, Rem slightly bowed and turned to walk off before turning around once more.

Rem: YN-kun.

YN: Hmm?

Rem: Rem looks forward to working with you tomorrow. Get some good rest.

YN: I will, thank you.

Proceeding into the bath, YN tried to soak his hard feelings and bad thoughts away with the hot water.

I'm going to need to formulate a plan from here on out. I guess it's just that I have to win over those two's trust then?

Staring up at the ceiling, leaning on the edge of the bath, YN began to think aloud.

YN: There's gotta be more to this...

?: —And there is.

Hearing someone else step into the opposite side of the bath hall into the water, YN looked down and saw no one.

After a few moments bubbles began to form where he had heard the sound, and out he popped from the water.

Subaru: Phwaaa!

YN: How did you get in here without making a sound?

Spitting water out of his mouth, Subaru replied.

Subaru: Not important. Anyway, you're entirely correct, there is more to this. A lot more.

YN: Okay then, do tell.

Crossing his arms, Subaru continued.

Subaru: Well, for starters, you were wrong.

YN: About?

Subaru: A whole lot. How long do you think it had been before we reset when Rem killed you two loops ago? On that first day, to the next time you woke up and tried to run.

Wanting to confirm he understood the order, YN answered with a question of his own.

YN: When we died on the first day after resetting from being interrogated in the woods, till the last loop where I told you to run? Uhh, I don't know, maybe twenty-four hours? Maybe less?

Uncrossing his arms, Subaru held a hand up, and lowered his pinky and ring fingers, leaving three digits up.

Subaru: Three days.

YN: —How?!

Subaru: After you left with Roswaal, Beatrice came in after Emilia accused her of doing something to me after sapping our mana, saying she was being forced to apologize.

Putting a hand to his chin and closing his eyes, Subaru gave a smug look.

Subaru: And with some careful Puck related blackmail, I got her to form a contract with me.

YN: A contract? For?

Returning to a normal expression, Subaru continued.

Subaru: Protection. Until the morning of the fourth day.

YN: So then did Beatrice fight—?

Subaru: —No no. I stayed in the Forbidden Library till the morning of the fourth day. When I exited, I went to see if anything had changed, and if you were okay.

YN: Oh? And what did you find?

Subaru: As soon as I walked down the hall, Emilia-tan was all in a rather cute fluster, but she was surprised to see me. I guess Ram had told her that I had run away, and Rem had said you quit and walked off the job.

YN was silent, blankly staring at Subaru from he had just heard. Confused as to why YN remained quiet, staring down at the bathwater, Subaru spoke back up.

Subaru: And I'm guessing that's not what actually happened.

Shaking his head slowly, YN replied.

YN: No... Rem... She...

With images of the recent and caring Rem flashing in contrast to the Rem who had strangled him, rehearing the anger and contempt in her voice that he remembered, YN's words staggered.

YN: On the first day... the very first day... She...

With regret and pain filling his voice, an emotion of fear and bottled sadness filled his chest. Chocking back his tears, YN finally spoke his truth.

YN: She strangled me. In the storage room down the hallway. Probably less then a stones throw from right where we're sitting. *Sigh* She was so mad. Just from the scent itself, nothing else. That's why I was so sure! So sure we were in danger! That we had to run! With the smell compounding three times, two from botched confessions and a death... Three stacked cases of the scent was enough to get her to kill me on the third day... What was a fourth layer going to do—?

Subaru: I understand now. You assumed that I was still bedridden, and I was also killed at around the same time.

YN: Yeah... I guess I did. Pretty stupid of me in hindsight, huh?

Shaking his head, YN snapped himself out of feeling sorry for himself.

YN: Anyway, you said Emilia was in a fuss?

Nodding, Subaru continued.

Subaru: Yeah. She was surprised to learn I was still in the mansion but she was running to find Beatrice. Once she said that I heard a terrible scream, that turned out to be Ram's.

YN: —? Why was Ram screaming?

Subaru shut his eyes as if preparing to say something that was very hard for him to say.

Subaru: Because...

Opening his eyes, and taking a deep breath, he looked dead at YN and continued.

Subaru: Because Rem died. The same way we did on the very first loop.

Looking down at the water in front of him, YN watched as it gently rippled against him from the water feature on the opposite side between him and Subaru, where the bath got it's continuous supply of hot water.

YN: The curse...

Realizing what this meant, YN snapped his head back up and met Subaru's gaze.

YN: So it wasn't Rem's curse.

Subaru: That's right.

Crossing his arms once more, Subaru also shifted to a more relaxed position before continuing.

Subaru: But that's not all. In my time staying in the Forbidden Library, I had asked Beako about curses, like how to get them, where they come from, and how to cure them.

YN: And what did she say about that?

Putting a hand into the air, Subaru closed it into a fist.

Subaru: For starters, first—

He extended his thumb on his closed hand.

Subaru: Curses come from Shamans, something we know Rem isn't since she died of the curse herself. Second—

His index finger extended now.

Subaru: Curses are a weak magic. The shaman needs physical contact in order to curse someone. And finally—

With his middle finger extended along side his other fingers, Subaru finished.

Subaru: —Third. Curses can be removed before they're triggered, and Beako can detect and remove them too, herself.

YN: So we just need to find who cursed us... Any clue? I mean, the only other residents it could have been were—

Shaking his head, Subaru cut off YN.

Subaru: It wasn't anyone in the mansion.

Jaw almost agape at the very idea, YN was nearly speechless.

YN: — —?! How can you be certain?!

Subaru: Because—

Closing his eyes again and raising a finger while saying it, he opened his eyes again.

Subaru: —last loop, I died!

Giving Subaru a blank expression and a few blinks, YN finally responded.

YN: No shit! You maybe want to explain how? Or when?

Becoming serious again, Subaru answered.

Subaru: I made it to Arlem before Ram arrived, and hid in some house's cellar. Once night fell I made my way out and a few of the kids that lived there found me. Really, in short, they put me up in the hay shed and gave me some grub.

Raising his hand, YN mimicked a student in a lecture class.

YN: Sensei!

Subaru: Yes my student?

YN: How does this lead to anything we're trying to discuss?

Raising his fist above his head, Subaru made his announce known.

Subaru: I'm getting there!

Settling down, he continued.

Subaru: *Ahem* For the next two days I just paled around the village, played with the children and interacted with the adults. Point I'm getting at is, I never once interacted with anyone from the mansion. Meaning no one here touched me for the curse to take effect.

YN: Then the curse killed you? Again?

Nodding his head in confirmation, Subaru went on.

Subaru: I have no clue when or how, but I was cursed in the village, I died in my sleep and now here we are.

YN: So then what's the plan? Avoid going to the village?

Subaru: It's not as easy as that. On the third day, on both of the last two loops, someone from the mansion goes to the village for groceries. That's how I'm sure Rem died in your strangling loop, and in the last one, Ram went that time, thankfully, the village kids helped me hide from her.

Sitting up, YN posed a question to Subaru.

YN: Then we need to confront and figure out who the shaman is in the village?

Subaru: Exactly. But we also have to take care to get in good standing here with the twins, to earn their trust. We also need to come up with a plan once we get to the village and what we need to do once we're there.

Nodding in confirmation, YN agreed to the plan.

YN: We've got our work cut out for us, but it's nothing we haven't done before.