A/N: Hello everyone! This week's chapter is very long, but with it we've also surpassed 400k words! I really had no idea this story would ever get that long, but here we are. I hope you all have enjoyed reading it as much as I have writing it. Please enjoy!

Chapter 71: The Endless Eight - Epilogue

Having convinced the Librarian of the need to peer back into YN's memories of the events that had unfolded in Saluzzo, Rem laid down next to him on the cold, hard tile floor of the Forbidden Library.

Lifting her hand up to the drill-haired girl standing above them, she sapped the mana from Rem's hand, taking the fuel for this magic, as well as her own payment for this "session." Feeling herself become drowsy from the loss of her energy, Rem let herself be whisked away to slumber.

Soon, YN-kun will not need to be the only one who remembers.

Reaching out, Rem's same hand caressed the side of YN's as she fell asleep.

Beatrice: How bothersome, these two. But after hearing of such an oddity... Betty unfortunately must help these two figure out what they can ahead of Roswaal.

It was no secret that Beatrice and Roswaal failed to see eye to eye on many things, it was more beneficial to her in the long run if he wasn't in control of such important developments.

But in truth, Beatrice had come to question the character of the current Mathers' to hold residency of the mansion.

Beatrice: Between that half-devil getting her precious gem stolen and there being a famous assassin behind it, a shaman organizing an entire siege of the nearby village, and now the events in the far away city? All too coincidentally related, I suppose.

If Roswaal was truly in the dark on what happened in Saluzzo like he'd said, then it was to Beatrice's interest for YN and Rem to be the first to uncover the truth rather than him.

Even if they inform him of any discoveries, they will still be the ones in control of the information, not him. For Betty, that is a large enough inconvenience to him for her.

As Beatrice mulled over her troubling thoughts, Rem was busy lodging her consciousness into YN's memories once more. From here, she was able to get herself situated, and re-familiarize herself with how this experience worked.

Hmmm, yes. Rem remembers this feeling...

Feeling her non-existent body take form. Her vision was filled with darkness. Reaching for what she remembered as a large tome, her "fingers" tapped out in front of her, sensing for the cover and the pages that it held inside them.

Ahh!

Taking a hold, Rem felt around it. Just like last time, the sensation was the same.

Rem will start from the beginning.

Flipping open what felt like the tome's leather bound cover, Rem thumbed to the first "page" and let her vision be replaced from what YN saw.

Like the opening of a curtain, Rem's vision was first introduced to a scene of YN and Subaru riding on the drivers bench of the carriage. Looking at the scene around them, it appeared as if they had just managed to arrive in Costuul.

This is as far back as Rem can go... Beatrice-sama did say at one point around a month is only as far as this reaches... That means YN-kun and Subaru-kun have been experiencing this loop for at least a month... possibly more...

Without any cues to gauge if she was in the midst of a loop or not, Rem had no other choice but to continue to watch and clue herself in.

Having arrived at the inn, YN and Subaru acted completely like neither of them had been there before.

YN-kun isn't faking his reactions to Subaru... Rem can tell. She is definitely at least not in a loop where he remembers anything.

While she was unable to smell anything because of these senses not being her own, Rem was unable to judge if a return had already happened or not.

Knowing her time was ultimately limited though, Rem decided to jump ahead to a scene with more things happening. From there, she could make the most of their time. Watching further, Rem saw the four of them set out in search of dinner from the inn, and in doing so, got caught in a sudden rainstorm, just like her and YN did.

Being rushed into a random tavern on Subaru's suggestion, Rem watched as the four went to sit, completely soaked with rain. As they awaited, Rem caught an interaction between her and YN.

Holding [Rem's] cold, damp hand at the crowded table, Rem could feel her own hand through YN's memory. But, feeling a warmth grow in her abdomen, right where her own gate would be, Rem suddenly felt that heat transferred to her hand, the same one that held [Rem's] hand.

Somewhat shocked to realize it, YN was passing his own mana to [Rem.]

When did YN-kun learn to do this? Rem has never seen him do that before…

With Emilia noticing the same, there was a bit of back and forth on the matter before YN had volunteered to go check on the status of their order. With the wait being long enough for even Rem to flip past, she knew they must have been waiting awhile by now.

As YN departed the table, Rem saw him enter into a darker section of the tavern. Stepping through the imaginary threshold she could even feel in the secondary, Rem's own hairs seemed to stand on end as YN moved to the side to let another patron by.

But stopping as he moved past, the man, with a dark cloak, hidden face, and deathly aura turned to him. Reaching into his cloak with a disgusting green hand that was heavily scabbed and and ended in chewed on fingernails, he pulled out a black book.

?: Tell me... Are you familiar with her love?

That's—! No! It cannot be!

Stopping her replay of looking on in the memory, Rem's non-existent mouth was left agape.

YN had just been approached by none other than a Witch Cultist, and he had just been offered a Gospel.

Rem could only stare in disbelief. Nowhere before had YN ever mentioned such a man. But as she regained her focus, Rem hesitated to go further.

What if... What if the next thing Rem sees is...

What Rem feared now, more than anything she had ever come across in any of his memories now was—

What will Rem do... if he takes it?

Rem kept her hands still on the tome that controlled the memory's progression. She genuinely feared the possibility to look further ahead, lest she see the one thing she never would want to see.

No... Rem must choose...

Knowing it was either forever living in ignorance, or knowing the truth, Rem debated in her mind. But as she thought more, one thing remained upfront in her own memories.

Our promises... Rem's own promise as well...

Rem recalled her promise to always trust her hero. And trusting her hero meant—

Rem is foolish for having any fear of what could never happen. YN-kun knows what that would mean to his Rem. Rem will not doubt him! She never will!

Firmly grasping a page, Rem proceeded onward.

Holding up his hand, YN politely declined the offered Gospel.

YN: I-I'm not interested. Thank you though.

'Thank you though?'

Mulling over why he would show even a spec of respectfulness to the vile man before him, with only one trailing statement of "Pride" and "Sloth," the man cloaked in black departed, leaving YN.

Does... Does YN-kun truly not know what had just occurred?

To Rem, this raised many questions. Why had they never run into this man before in their endeavors? And why had YN acted so oblivious to the danger before him?

This... This must be an early loop, or an isolated event... Rem cannot say for certain...

Seeing YN regain his composure, after some fretting, he took a seat at the bar, trying to get an answer for the question that had brought him there.

Being belittled by the barkeep, YN was then subjected to the person he had taken a seat next to. Dressed like some kind of mercenary or adventurer, the demi-human with bleach blonde hair and tail like a tanuki took an all too keen interest in YN.

It's her again... Isabella.

Seeing this woman so haphazardly touch his face, Rem almost instantaneously forgot her moral quandary with the Cultist and what it had all meant. Without the power to directly intervene, all Rem could do was watch this woman continue to pressure her YN.

After several lust-filled requests being denied, Isabella seemed all too motivated. Using her muscular arm, she held it over him, forcing his back to the wall.

No—! This... This cannot be happening! This woman... Rem wishes she could do something!

With a fear growing in her heart that YN might have experienced something truly terrible in a long forgotten loop, Rem was unsure if she could continue to watch.

YN-kun wouldn't let himself be overpowered like this... Nothing worse could happen then...

Right?

Letting it play out though, Isabella seemingly sniffed YN, and took great pleasure in doing so, but as she had paused to do that, a voice Rem recognized was heard.

[Rem]: Only one person can smell her YN-kun.

Having interrupted Isabella, her and [Rem] had some back and forth arguments, notably over YN. But, at an impasse, the demi-human returned her gaze to him.

Seeing the sick, twisted look in her eyes as if she were looking at some plaything, Rem desperately wished to reach out, grab that arm, and prevent it from soiling YN.

And to her satisfaction, [she] did.

Having grabbed the muscular arm, [Rem] halted Isabella's advance to steal YN's innocence from her.

Recoiling back, an altercation nearly broke out, only to be stopped by the barkeep, Dan. But as YN and him argued over the details, [Rem] had taken a clear notice of something else. Smelling the drink that had been poured for YN on the request of the demi-human, Rem accused the barkeep of knowingly trying to sabotage YN's condition.

Ultimately, using this as leverage, [Rem] used this as a condition to get the group their meal.

Being promised their goods post-haste, YN was quickly led out of the bar area. However, instead of being led back to their table, [Rem] had chosen a different location. Out of the way, she was clearly emotional at this moment, and questioned him on something she hadn't expected.

Having asked if he had died, YN denied it. But upon denying it, [Rem] had conveyed how she knew when to show up when she did, and why [she] had very emotionally concluded that a Reset had happened.

But then where did the Witch's scent come from...

Knowing her memory counterpart had definitely smelled it, Rem was lost as to where it had come from.

Watching further, [Rem] had also confided the smell, at that moment, had vanished.

YN-kun never tried confessing to anyone... Nor did he die... And Rem is certain the scent does not go away so quickly...

Having seen his memories, Rem knew that was an absolute fact. Somehow, YN had started to smell more for no reason, and that had instantly lost it.

No... Unless—!?

Trying to recall what she had seen recently, only one memory came to mind.

That man! No, that Witch Cultist.

Without a doubt, Rem concluded where she had smelled the Witch's scent from.

It was the scent of that fiend!

Utterly disgusted that [she], and YN for that matter had been in such close contact with a Witch Cultist, Rem could feel her non-existent gag reflex.

But, letting the memory play through more though, Rem saw herself and YN have a very touching moment.

Seeing as there was nothing of significance to have in these parts of YN's memories, Rem searched further ahead, but as she did, she thought back to what had happened, and how it had unfolded.

Rem hates to admit it, but had that Cultist failed to be in attendance at that tavern and left when he did, Rem might have never smelled the Scent, and had she not, YN-kun could have been taken advantage of... Rem is glad she did not need to see YN-kun traumatized.

Feeling a troubled emotion, it mixed with relief as well. In truth, as she indexed further ahead, Rem's own emotions remained in limbo.

Observing one of the soon to be many iterations of Rem sitting on YN's lap as they traveled in near solitude through a meadow of flowers, Rem could feel her non-existent face turn warm.

Rem knows when she and YN-kun enjoyed this moment alone, things never got this... intense.

Almost wishing to re-watch the memory again, she forced herself to look ahead.

Moving past arriving in Saluzzo, Rem watched YN and Subaru react to seeing the city and its architecture for the first time. Along further, she observed them all changing into their respective festival outfits.

They're different from what Rem can recall... She also can't recall being offered one that looked like that...

Trying to remember the other two or three outfits she had to choose from compared to what she ended up choosing, the one she currently saw her memory counterpart in was not one she had the choice of.

YN-kun, Subaru-kun, even Emilia-sama are all wearing different ones as well...

Without enough to go off of, Rem resolved herself to looking forward to what really mattered this loop: the attack.

Seeing it unfold, YN was snatched up the beast almost as soon as the altercation broke out. But, doing her best, Rem utilized all of her strength to try and free YN. Using her morningstar, a serious kick to the face, and skating across the ice Emilia had made, it was all not enough.

Hearing her own voice shrill as she yelled out for YN, Rem could fully sympathize with how [she] felt.

Rem hopes she never must feel that powerless...

Indexing further, Rem saw the conditions YN was put in as he awaited rescue. She was, for the most part, thankful he wasn't being tortured, or worse. But, watching ahead, Rem was surprised at what YN had done.

Willingly putting a punishment upon himself, YN had purposely let the Scent on him increase.

But why would he try to tell Leo...?

Wondering to what end YN would gain anything from doing so, Rem suddenly realized why.

YN-kun is calling out for Rem!

Realizing how this potentially could be a great tool for rescue should something happen, Rem noted this tactic.

But, needing to see if it was effective, she thumbed forward.

Getting to their reunion as the eager [Rem] tore the bars of the window right off the building, she embraced YN. With as much joy as the scene gave her, it ended quickly as Leo had discovered them. Watching the ensuing battle, it ended much like how YN had said Beatrice described them as.

Upon Emilia's death, Puck manifested as the Beast he was. Vowing to end the world, that was when Leo pulled the crystal that emitted it's hellish violet light.

After observing it meet with Subaru, [Rem] quickly evacuated them both from the premise as the snow outside began to seriously pile up.

But as Subaru fell off, he uttered woods that scent chills down her non-existent spine.

Subaru: Who's... Emilia?

Feeling the surreal experience even as an observer, it was amplified by the cold she also felt in conjunction with what YN was experiencing. Seeing her memory counterpart rapidly pick up what the consequences were for getting caught up in the light, [Rem] rushed ahead, forcing YN to keep up with her in the deep, deep snow.

Hearing herself begin to truly panic, Rem believed that the memory would end soon.

Subaru-kun won't last long in that cold... Rem and her YN-kun must just run in the snow until then...

Realizing she wasn't watching herself think rationally, she had totally disregarded her knowledge that it was in fact Subaru was the key to Return By Death. In her panicked state, she had fully prioritized protecting YN.

While knowing it was impossible that the memory could peacefully end in a sudden Reset, Rem was still caught off guard upon seeing herself pulling YN along by his wrist suddenly turning a shade of violet.

—No!

Seeing the horrified expression on her own face, YN collapsed to the ground. Feeling the cold sink into legs, Rem watched on.

With her arms on his shoulders, Rem saw herself with an expression of worry like she'd never seen before. Shaking him, [Rem] pleaded again and again for him to say something. Until finally, he did.

YN: It's... an angel.

Uttering the same words he had first said to her that she could remember, the same sensation captured her heart like it had originally, but it was quickly snuffed out by the realization of what that meant.

Feeling the cold really begin to sink into his body, Rem's entire non-existent body shivered in tandem with YN's.

Complaining of the cold, she watched [herself] embrace him. Knowing at this moment, [she] was a stranger to him, she feared he might reject [her], but rather, he seemed to hold [her] in return.

YN-kun instantly trusted his Rem, even without knowing her...

Unsure if the warmth she felt now was shared from herself, or of that reassurance, Rem knew that this memory was near its end.

[Rem]: YN-kun will be warm. Your Rem will keep him warm.

YN: Rem...

Hearing him say her name like it was the first time he had, Rem felt her heart sink as the tears running down YN's face froze. As the cold nearly became unbearable, even in this shared sensation, Rem felt a sudden warmth on her lips as [she] kissed YN.

One final kiss...

With the cold she felt becoming too strong, Rem shut the book of the memory in her hands. Taking a deep, non-existent breath, Rem was conflicted to the very depths of her heart.

Rem couldn't have asked for a more meaningful end... But at the expense...?

Absolutely heartbroken YN had her wiped from his mind, a somewhat selfishly reassuring feeling was paired with it.

That no matter what, YN would always fall for her.

That YN would always trust her.

That YN would always choose her.

That YN would always come back to her.

Rem doesn't know if she should be okay knowing that.

It felt like taboo, but at the same time, it was a piece of mind like no other.

Rem fears... What if knowing this makes her take him for granted?

Wrestling with the thought, she had to put it aside for now.

Rem only has so much time, she must make the most of it.

Feeling the leather-bound cover in her hands, Rem reopened it, and did her best to find where she had left off from.

Seeing a sudden flash back to the scene of YN taking a drink of the glass Rem had poured him, his reaction to Emilia entering the tea room with him was different this time.

Hearing herself show up much sooner as well, YN had turned to [Rem], tears in his eyes at seeing her. After some dialog, YN had said he recalled nothing, yet still felt strange after [Rem] had inquired about the increase in the Witch's Miasma.

That really must have been the first loop then, as Rem had not come inquiring about the Scent according to YN-kun.

Yet, why had the scent been so powerful?

'Three times?' Rem could only recall two instances where the Scent could be increased, yet for [Rem] to be so certain it was more than twice...

While Rem was uncertain about the amount of time it actually took for the Witch's Scent to wear off, she didn't have a clue if it's persistence was linear with its strength. Meaning—

Do multiple doses of the scent take longer to wear off, per dose?

Did a single death or a single punishment from a failed confession mean the Scent would linger for a day? But then if you paired them, did that mean it would now last for three days? Trying to recall how he smelled when Rem herself had first smelled the increase during the successful loop she was now a part of, she did recall it was stronger than normal.

Rem should see what occurred in the loop before, the one YN-kun said was a 'throwaway' loop...

But for now, Rem needed to watch this loop. Flipping the non-existent pages, she traversed onward through YN's memory.

After exiting the broom closet and seeing herself be teased by Ram, YN had left to recruit Subaru's assistance in watering the flowers. Leaving halfway through though, Subaru had gone like last time to try and bring along Beatrice.

Beatrice-sama only came along after Rem and YN-kun inquired about his foggy memories...

But, to Rem's utmost surprise, watching as YN reentered the mansion after being disgruntled by Subaru's departure, he was accompanied by none other Beatrice.

How was Subaru-kun able to convince her to attend? That is very much unlike her...

As the drill haired girl barked out orders to YN, Rem decided to move ahead, knowing more or less what would occur, she needed to view scenes that would potentially be different.

Moving onward, Rem was met with the memory of the fives' beginning steps into the crowded streets of Costuul. Not long after leaving the inn though, [Rem], Subaru, and Emilia had gotten speratared from Beatrice and YN. While Subaru was too busy leading the way for Emilia, who had no real prowess in navigating such crowded streets, [Rem] was riding that wake, also not wishing to forge the path herself. But in doing so, she had failed to pay attention to Beatrice's and YN's whereabouts.

How foolish of Rem... To leave behind YN-kun like that. Anything could have happened. Costuul is not as safe as she had once thought…

With Costuul being a major city that was directly under Roswaal's control as Margrave, Rem had perceived the city as being a safe place to lodge. Yet, after seeing the would-be-consequences that could have harmed YN in the tavern of the last loop, she had begun to rethink her view on how she went about keeping an eye on, and protecting YN from harm.

Rem must be more attentive to her YN-kun. She must not let him be harmed in any way.

As she mulled over watching her own shortcomings in this loop already, Rem watched the memory continue as she flipped the delicate pages of the "tome" in her hands. Seeing as now Beatrice and YN were falling further and further behind [her], Emilia, and Subaru, a massive ground dragon cart rolled towards them both as they attempted to cross the busy street in pursuit of the rest of their party. With YN being the only one could see, he swept up the short girl, getting her out of harm's way, and up onto his shoulders.

Rem is surprised to see such... paternal instincts from YN-kun...

Feeling a warmth in her chest upon seeing the act, Rem was about to either skip ahead and find more important memories to view, or watch the continued scene and indulge her new infatuation with YN's care of Beatrice. Yet, before she could decide, one particular word that had piqued Rem's interest was spoken.

Beatrice: Betty does not take suggestions from anomalies.

Remembering her saying that to YN before, Rem put her non-existent hand to her non-existent face.

That term... Rem has heard both Beatrice-sama and Roswaal-sama refer to him as such... But why?

Watching as she continued to think on it, Rem's train of thought was instantly derailed as YN had managed to ask an earlier question that had garnered Rem's curiosity.

YN: ...—how did he convince you to come along in the first place?...

Almost as if he had channeled Rem's curiosity from beyond the barrier of memories and time, YN posed a most useful question in hindsight. Inquiring about Subaru's methods of getting her to come along, Beatrice briefly explained her initial reasoning regarding how she had safekept her Library, In her reply though, she did give her real reason as to why she had decided to attend.

Beatrice: —because both you and him suddenly began to wreak of the Witch, I suppose.

Pausing there, Rem was astounded, this was a revelation.

Did Beatrice-sama only choose to come along because she smelled the Witch's scent, or was it because of how strong it was?

Unable to answer this question at this juncture, Rem flipped her pages onward, trying to find more evidence of any kind.

Watching as the drill haired girl sat up on YN's shoulders, she began to further elaborate to her benefit. Speaking of her own knowledge that [Rem] also had to be aware of the Scent's magnitude, YN could not deny it. Going on to question his integrity though, Rem felt a flare of rage grow in her.

How can someone who just had their life saved be so critical of their hero? Rem has learned that is the worst thing to be...

Hearing YN say something similar, Rem could also hear the frustration in his voice on the matter, yet he was at least in a position to act on it, unlike she was. Questioning what exactly she was so suspicious of, Beatrice let loose an example that stunned Rem.

Beatrice: The younger maid sister. Are the feelings you tell her true?

As YN went on about how he adored Rem, and elaborated on just how much he cherished her, Beatrice finally answered with a question of her own, hoping to pin down exactly what YN's "intentions" were.

Beatrice: Then tell Betty, with such strong feelings, would go as far to say you love—

With the word entering her ear, Rem suddenly stopped. Her hands felt frozen, her mind was halted, and if her knees existed, she felt as if she'd fall to them at this very moment. The only thing that echoed for Rem now, was the word. That word. The one word that lately when she heard it, sent a shiver of anticipation down her spine.

The word—

... 'Love'...

Having it reverb around her mind enough, bouncing off between two separate thoughts; the idea of "YN" and the idea of "Love," Rem's mind finally put the two together.

Does...? No... Could YN-kun... really ever love Rem?

She had held his hand, kissed him casually and passionately, made heartfelt promises, declarations, and advances towards him. She'd protected him from danger, saved his life, and healed his wounds. She had gone on dates with him, which eventually moved them to "dating," and had even had him agree to one day "be something more." Once, she had seriously teased about having his children.

All of this combined, still, Rem felt inadequate, and undeserving of it.

To her, the idea of "love" from YN was still such a far off, and near impossible thing.

Rem and YN-kun may be close, and we may become many more things to each other, but...

Feeling a pain she didn't seem to understand, it felt like a fog of sadness clouded her chest, spiraling around her heart.

—Rem doesn't think that YN-kun could ever love her.

To her, how could he? In her own memories, she knew at one point she'd desired to have killed him. And to YN, she had. Twice. She'd stabbed him fatally, and choked him, ending his life with her own hands. She'd whipped him with chains, tore off his fingers, broken his ribs, kicked him while he was down... She had even let him become gravely injured by her own carelessness.

Rem knew YN held no one higher than her. And felt very strongly for her. Yet, to her, that wasn't enough for him to love her. "Love" was a line Rem could never cross for him she imagined, and that was her fault, because she had forced so many ill fates upon him.

After all Rem has done to him, how could she ever expect him to feel love for her?

But to Rem, having a future with him, and staying by his side made her happy enough. She might not ever be "loved," but that was the consequence for her sins.

Rem must also be sure to suppress expressing the true nature of her own feelings... If she ever were to tell him... That might guilt him, or even worse, it might drive him away...

Just as she felt undeserving to feel love from YN, Rem felt she didn't deserve to tell him how truly profound her feelings for him were.

Such feelings that could never be reciprocated... It would drive us apart.

Rem genuinely feared the idea, and to her, the real possibility that YN might reject her truest and deepest feelings for him. Despite all her complicated emotions, Rem desired to hear the truth, and to hear what YN himself had to say in this memory. Flipping the pages once more, Rem awaited the answer.

Yet, in a rather tragic manner, her answer was cut off by none other than her own voice.

Meeting back up, [Rem], Emilia, and Subaru had located the two who had trailed off. With friendly banter and a cute comment about [Rem] offering to carry YN, a downpour had commenced Getting split back up again, [Rem] had taken his hand in the flurry of people seeking cover from the deluge.

Running through streets of Costuul, Rem watched as herself and YN avoided the constant rain and heard the splash of their feet as they trampled over puddles.

Coming to an establishment, they entered inside a dark cafe.

Oh, this is just like last time. Daniela-san's place of business.

Being greeted by the cat-like demi-human girl, Rem was just as astonished as YN was to the situation. While normal to Rem, seeing it through his eyes gave a much more profound effect. To be denied because of his appearance, and so harshly judged based on Rem's own appearance in contrast to his own, she could see [Rem] had not accurately recognized his apprehension.

Hearing herself defuse the situation though, she too sighed in relief. Taking their seats, [Rem] had ordered in lieu of YN not being able to fully understand the menu. Seeing her and YN exchange several bites, they had finished, but Rem had noticed that the entire time, Daniela had been closely observing them, only something YN had seemed to notice.

Rem does seem to recall her being very interested in us...

Going to leave though, Rem was caught off guard by something she had not expected to hear.

Daniela: —if I don't see you both back in for a long, long time, I expect to see a few half-demi kids coming in as well.

Feeling her non-existent face blush at the idea, Rem paused as she felt the same fog of sadness once again over take her heart. Having been driven away by the cute interactions she saw herself and YN have, their presence now only seemed to amplify that sadness.

After seeing all this... It somehow makes Rem's heart yearn...

But thinking about it more, Rem seemed to find more faults in herself.

Even to others, it would seem like Rem and YN-kun are very much a young couple in love... We are able to be seen in ways, and act as such that people would perceive us to be so... yet...

She knew they were both close, but if they only knew.

In Rem's head, her feelings for YN personified one half, while her self-doubt argued on the other side.

A normal young couple acts as we do.

But a normal couple has never had one half want the other dead.

YN-kun said our relationship is stronger because those things happened.

If others knew the truth, they would tell YN-kun he deserves better.

He told Rem there was nothing to forgive for what she had done.

Because no amount of forgiveness can take away the trauma.

Back and forth, these thoughts bounced around Rem's head as she passively watched the remainder of this memory. Having returned back to the inn, Subaru had explained how Beatrice and Emilia had handled the same issue as the last loop; the delayed food at the loud, rowdy tavern.

It seems Emilia-sama and the others also had a run-in with those two who tried compromising YN-kun.

Serving as a way to free herself from her meddling thoughts, Rem watched on, hoping to distract herself with duty then be plagued with more self arguments.

Seeing as they all arrived in Saluzzo and were introduced around Julio's warehouse, Rem made a mental note how once more, their outfits were all completely different from the previous time again. Even watching as YN fawned over her, it did little to lift her mood as an observer.

YN-kun is simply too nice to his Rem.

Moving forward more, Rem skipped here and there until she reached the memory of Emilia taking the stage at the festival.

Here, Rem must pay close attention to this attack. It is bound to happen like it always does.

Shaking her mind free from any other thoughts, Rem devoted all her mental power to remembering every little detail. Any small clue could mean something more informative from memories from a further-along loop.

Watching as the attack got underway, there was some confusion between Subaru and YN on who should secure Emilia's immediate safety, but as YN went to attack after Emilia had, it was Beatrice who had suddenly joined the fight as well.

Unfortunately, just as Emilia's ice projectiles proved useless against the beast, so was Beatrice's Minya. As Rem watched the monster begin to snag YN away through his eyes, she felt a sudden shared impact to her side. With the memory blurring, the next thing Rem saw was the night sky above, followed by none other than her own face.

Holding YN like a hero might hold a princess, [Rem] gazed down at him.

With the monster re-engaging, the fight went on. Taking magical impact after magical impact, the beast was pelted by yin and ice crystals. Going on the offensive though, Rem had got herself caught off-balance, and it was YN who had saved her.

YN-kun...

Feeling her heart radiate warmth from seeing herself be saved by the one who held her heart, YN had unfortunately opened himself up to capture. Being taken by the monster's mighty grip, it turned to retreat, but not before getting caught by [Rem's] chain on her morningstar.

Manifesting her horn, [Rem] firmly planted her feet into the ground and worked to get herself closer to YN. Taking his hand after a few failed attempts, [Rem] and the shape-shifting beast began a tug of war with his fragile body.

But, as she pulled harder, her strength exceeded the durability of YN's shoulder.

[Rem]: Rem promises—!

*Pop*

YN: AAGGHH!

HHA! —Aha!

At first gasping at the suddenly short lengthening of YN's arm she saw in his vision as [Rem] held onto it, she felt a sharp pain in her own non-existent shoulder.

YN-kun's shoulder!

Seeing the fear in her own rage filled eyes, Rem saw her horn dematerialize as [she] let go upon seeing the pain.

The pain that she felt she had inflicted.

And how she had not just broken one promise, but two.

She had harmed him. And she had let go, only seconds having promised not to.

Letting herself view onwards on what was essentially auto-pilot, Rem was completely defeated while continuing the memory as the scene faded to black, meaning YN had lost consciousness due to the pain.

...

Unable to even resolve her own thoughts on the matter, Rem was pained to know she had seemingly done more harm than good in this loop so far.

How can Rem expect YN-kun to love her... when all she does is make more trouble for him...

While dark feelings clouded her mind, she knew YN was still counting on her. At the very least, she needed to view everything.

Rem can combat with her thoughts later, for now, she must try and be useful in some way to her YN-kun.

Flipping further ahead, Rem descended deeper into YN's unknown memories.

Seeing YN awake and feeling the same stinging pain in her arm, Rem listened to Leo elaborate on things she was already privy to.

What a cruel old man...

Surprised that he had actually drank the offered medicine, Rem was at least thankful it worked to remove some of their conjoined discomfort.

Flipping further ahead as YN remained awake, looking out the window, a figure suddenly appeared in it.

Beatrice: It's rude to stare I suppose.

Beatrice-sama?!

Recognizing her before YN had, she quickly departed from view. But returning again using her anti-gravity yin magic, she brought a familiar face.

Leaping from her hand, Rem saw herself grab the iron bars of the window and felt her own hand caress YN's face. Without further delay from their shared tears of being reunited, [Rem] breached her way inside the cell. Putting YN on his knees, she realized now in hindsight she had maybe had been a bit forceful in doing so, but also noticed YN didn't exactly dislike it, despite everything else going on. With him on the ground, [Rem] healed his shoulder as well as she could. Finishing his treatment with a kiss on his bare skin, where her lips had made contact, a warmth lingered, and Rem in her observing state felt that echoed sensation.

YN-kun greatly treasured this, being saved by his Rem... She is very happy to be able to make him feel this way.

With some of her previous, loathsome emotions being quelled by what she felt was a slight redemption for her failures, Rem's own mental condition improved slightly.

Rem knows that deep down, YN-kun would tell [Rem] she didn't do anything wrong, but she knows if she's not held to a high standard, she will ultimately become complacent.

In truth, Rem didn't want to feel this way, and would rather follow the wishes of the one who held her heart, but she was always going to be her worst enemy when it came to her self esteem. What she needed was YN to thwart those feelings. Part of her going into his memories would be a way for her to get help with that, and in doing so, would allow YN to step in and deliver her from these clouding thoughts.

Doing so, would allow her Hero to come save her.

If only Rem would apply that way of thinking to her true feelings of YN, she could free herself from those self doubts as well...

Having stabilized YN as best as she could, Rem watched herself casually walk to the door of the cell, and kick it down with no effort.

Maybe Rem should have made it look like there was effort involved...

For only a moment, she reconsidered the image of herself doing such things in front of YN, If only in fear she may be emasculating him or harming her own femininity. She also knew that now wasn't the time to dwell on these thoughts either.

Leading him out of the cell and down the stairs, the sound of an altercation filled their ears. Being met by the scene before them, Leo had performed his signature bit, offering a deal of mercy.

However, as everyone chose to be defiant to it though, his patience was run thin. Sending out yin magic at the two of them, still holding hands, YN countered with his yang magic, protecting him and Rem.

Wishing to linger and relish in the selfish warmth she felt being protected by her hero, Rem needed to pay closer attention to the memory.

Rushing in with a blade in the immediate aftermath though, [Rem] coordinated well enough with YN to get him out of range of the blade. But seeing this, Leo called out his yin magic, filling the area with an inky blackness.

Countering it suddenly though, was a voice Rem had just heard.

Beatrice: El Shamak.

Flushing away his spell with a stronger one, Beatrice thwarted Leo's attempt to harm YN. Seeing nothing but an endless black fog surrounding both YN and Leo, Rem was unsure of what to expect next.

YN-kun is unable to use an effective yang magic attack at this range... But he won't move either, he doesn't know where his [Rem] is.

Wishing he would just dodge, Rem knew him well enough that he wouldn't expose her to danger like that. Feeling more warmth grow inside her seeing him be so protective of her, it was quickly dwarfed by the warmth in his hand belonging to his uninjured shoulder.

What is—!?

Letting the memory continue, it felt as if YN was about to spread his palm wide for a Jiwald, but rather, he balled his first around the mana, and delivered a mighty blow to Leo's abdomen in the yin magic space that gave him an overwhelming advantage.

Making an impact, the overlaying Shamak's were blown away as the raw yang magic was released. Sending Leo across the room, further ruining several book cases, Rem was just as blown away from the sight.

How was YN-kun able to summon so much strength?!

While he hadn't maybe fully noticed it, Rem had.

On his outstretched arm, a heat wave lingered. His arm was hot with mana and what appeared to be steam rose from his exposed skin on his lower forearm and fist.

Rem has noticed YN-kun is not very talented when it comes to casting spells... Just a few of his Jiwalds and he becomes incapacitated... And while he was able to very quickly utilize El Jiwald, a single one is enough for him to succumb to mana exhaustion...

Putting a non-existent hand to her non-existent chin, Rem thought more as the memory remained frozen.

YN-kun does have a high affinity with mana control though. Rem can recall him suddenly teaching himself how to transfer mana in the first loop...

Unsure of how he was able to have a high degree of control, but was so wasteful when casting it, this hypocrisy stumped Rem and her understanding of how magical proficiency normally improved and progressed.

Letting the memory continue though, while Leo was just as caught off guard by the sudden strength, he was more concerned about his yin spell being thwarted. But, answering his confusion, Beatrice joined the fray.

Beatrice-sama!

With blow after blow being exchanged between the yin magic users, YN, Rem, Subaru, and Emilia had taken cover. Further grasping Rem, YN put himself between the cover and Rem, hoping to add extra protection to her.

Seeing him be so protective over her, Rem's heart warmed again, but it was short lived.

As the fighting broke down, Beatrice and Leo exchanged dialog rather than crystals of yin magic. Coming to the realization Beatrice was a spirit, Leo offered his first act of "mercy" to Beatrice. Giving him a stern denial though, she said two things that had caught Rem's attention.

Beatrice: ...Betty has lived, waiting, under Mother's orders for over four hundred years for 'them.'

While Rem knew Beatrice was certainly much older than her due to her being a Great Spirit, she was completely unaware she had been over four hundred.

That would put Beatrice-sama's origin at around the time of the Witch...

But what further perplexed Rem, was the mention of a "them."

Does that mean Beatrice-sama has been waiting for someone to come secure the Forbidden Library? Would 'Mother' mean... her former master?

Keeping the memory paused, Rem's curiosity was piqued by something she hadn't expected to overhear.

While unrelated to what Rem is searching for, this is... a rather unforeseen development.

Wishing to understand more, Rem let the memory continue on.

Realizing she could not be convinced, Leo was forced to use his final gambit. Revealing the violet crystal that erased memories, its terrible aegis was activated.

With Subaru nearly instantly being caught in its effect, doing so to protect Emilia from the unknown threat, everyone else present was not within immediate danger, and could fully witness the consequences of being caught within the light.

Recalling what Leo had just said, everyone scrambled. With Emilia panicking, she threw up a protective ice wall, encasing herself and Rem inside. Just as Beatrice, left open and vulnerable, was about to fall victim, YN stepped in and grabbed her.

Only being able to retreat to an isolated corner of the room though, all either of them could do was await the light's next expansion. Defiant and desperate though, Beatrice called forth one last spell to hopefully counter the encroaching miasma of amnesia.

Beatrice: Al Shamak!

Encasing her and YN both in a swell of dark, inky yin magic, YN was subject to being fully entombed at the exact same moment the violet light expanded to reach him.

Immediately, Rem felt the shared sensation of a splitting headache.

What... what is this?

Unable to caress or hold her own non-existent head, Rem was forced to endure the dulled pain as the memory continued on.

Beatrice: YN! Snap out of it I suppose!

Feeling something tightly grab her own non-existent shoulders, Rem felt like her body was being shaken.

Beatrice: Focus, I suppose! After Al Shamak is over we need to take down Leo—!

YN: 'Al Shamak?' What? Who's Leo...? I kind of remember but... It's all coming and going...

Recognizing the confusion in his voice, Rem's heart sank.

He has forgotten everything again...

Beatrice: Tell Betty! Tell Betty right now that you remember the younger maid sister! You have to remember her!

He's even forgotten who Rem is—

YN: That... kind of sounds familiar...

Hearing words she hadn't expected, Rem halted the memories' progression.

How... how is—?!

Remembering what Beatrice had told YN, who had told Rem how he was able to originally find out that such a phenomenon of multiple forgotten loops had occurred, it suddenly made sense to Rem.

Because of Beatrice-sama's magic, it wasn't able to fully wipe YN-kun's memories. It was because of this moment, right here, that things were not doomed to repeat for eternity.

Beatrice: Yes! What's her name? Think. She has blue hair...

In an emotional display, both YN and Beatrice were released from her spell, and fell into the midst of a terrible snow storm. As the shock of the sudden cold through YN's shared senses jarred Rem into pausing the memory for a moment, she continued right away, keen on seeing what would happen next.

Collapsing further in the snow in defeat and exhaustion, Beatrice's existence had begun to fade. Becoming more transparent, YN shook the girl for her attention, begging for the name of the blue haired girl she had spoken of.

As she faded from existence, she said it.

Beatrice: Her name... is Rem.

Leaving only an imprint in the snow, Beatrice's entire body was gone from having sapped up all of her mana and being unable to sustain her form. Dropping to his knees now, YN clutched his head in pain.

He's trying to remember Rem so desperately it's inflicting pain...

Wincing from the shared sensation, Rem felt YN throw his arms to his side in frustration and tightly grab the knee deep snow in his fists. Crying, his tears froze when they ran down his face as he collapsed to his side.

YN-kun...

Rem felt not only his physical pain, but also his emotional one. Right now, what YN needed more than anything was to see [Rem], but in this loop, Rem already knew that was impossible.

[Rem] more than likely parished with Emilia-sama...

She wanted nothing else but to lift him up, embrace him, and deliver him from his sorrow. In addition to the cold stinging sensation on her non-existent face, the lingering aches in her non-existent shoulder, and the biting cold she felt all over, Rem had one more pain begin to form, one that originated in the depths of YN's heart and soul.

This pain... it feels... hollow... Like there's an immense darkness within, and it's all from—

Unable to recognize it at first, it's magnitude disguised itself well.

Feeling completely without, Rem had felt it herself, before she had met YN.

—loneliness.

It might have been a normal enough feeling, finding yourself suddenly somewhere where you know no one, to be lonely. But after being told you knew someone very well, and they were your only attachment to everything foreign around you? That was an emotion not many could have the misfortune of feeling.

This is the suffering of YN-kun without his Rem.

Wishing for a quick and timely, yet painless Return for YN, Rem wanted nothing else but for him to be free from this suffering.

YN-kun isn't alone, he has his Rem. He'll always have his Rem.

As the cold and dread overwhelmed him, a faint heat suddenly latched into his shoulder.

What is this—?!

It was unexplainable. Right on his injured shoulder, a soothing, much needed warmth began to radiate. While not warm enough to save him, it was enough to alleviate his suffering while he died.

That was... that was where Rem kissed YN-kun after healing him.

Noticing it at the same time YN had, their shape was distinctive. Two lips. In his last moments in this loop, Rem could tell by the warmth casting away the sorrow, YN had remembered.

Despite everything, Rem's face cleared up for him, and he remembered her.

YN: Rem...

With his dying breath uttering her name, YN passed on, causing Rem's picture of the memory to subside.

Filing with a black nothingness, she entered the next loop.

Being released back into his memories once more, Rem saw YN struggle unlike he had in the previous loops once he returned. Almost choking on his water and uncharacteristically shivering like he was cold in the midday heat, he didn't have long to regain his composure before Emilia had entered and sat next to him.

Saying something strange about snow, clearly his new, fogged, half baked memories were struggling to intertwine with his old ones.

As Emilia also clearly struggled with how she should help him, YN stood up quickly, and staggered to the exit of the hallway. Trying to stop him though, Emilia's concern grew. Making it a few steps out into the hallway, [Rem] also appeared.

Yes, please go to [Rem], she can help her YN-kun.

Meeting halfway between each other, [Rem] and YN exchanged a few worried words before stepping away to speak in private.

Discussing many of the scattered memories in his mind, [Rem] was deeply troubled by a few of them. Notably, he had described things she had yet to inform him of, with a keen focus being on them leaving and attending a festival, the one thing she had come to inform him of originally, before the loop began.

With these developments, it was [Rem]'s decision to view YN's memories, much like she had when she had doubted him.

But, to their dismay, Beatrice had declined to help them, citing her distrust of YN of him being "an anomaly," as well as catching [Rem] in her lie to convince her there was no cause for alarm and their reasoning.

Rem must remember to inquire about what an 'anomaly' is when she gets the chance... Unless it's elaborated on, it is nothing more than an insult to Rem's YN-kun and she won't tolerate it.

After much back and forth, and an empty threat of Beatrice's to go to Roswaal over her suspicions, the three came to a compromise, one where Beatrice herself would go and look for herself, believing [Rem] had begun to trust him too much to make an accurate judgment of YN.

Putting him to sleep, [Rem] laid his head upon her lap, and let Beatrice enter his mind. Causing his memories to go dark for this segment, Rem was forced to look ahead at what she could find, specifically how Beatrice would react upon YN waking back up.

Viewing someone viewing memories while also viewing memories...

It was difficult for Rem to explain or understand, but the only way she could make sense of it was a childhood memory of hers. Like any curious, growing child, she had once held her mother's hand mirror up to the larger vanity mirror in their home. Inspecting the infinite iterations of reflections, she had tried to count them as well as she could until her sister had shown up to ask her what she was doing. Not wishing to appear foolish to her Nee-sama, Rem had pretended to be cleaning instead and had dropped her curiosity in the infinite well of reflections she had created.

YN-kun might have a word for such a sensation, but for now, Rem must look forward.

As YN's consciousness awoke, Rem felt the shared, sharp pain that fizzled inside his mind. Helping him to his knees, Rem could also feel herself rubbing YN's shoulders and the soothing relief it brought him. Paying closer attention to Beatrice though, she was also regaining her control over her body.

Holding her head in mutual pain, Rem could immediately tell she was distraught.

Speaking with a tone that was unlike her normal one, both [Rem] and YN had noticed it as well, but to the degree they knew it affected her was unknown to them. They knew not what she had seen. Seeing she was wrestling with trying to understand what she had more than likely seen, it was only Rem in her observing state that truly knew the context of Beatrice's struggle to keep her composure.

But try as she might, Beatrice slipped up.

And while she was disappointed in [herself] for having failed to notice it, YN thankfully had.

YN: You—, You just called us by our names.

As the spirit remained with her back turned to them both, YN had elaborated further.

YN: You don't ever do that.

Even with him trying to force an answer from the spirit, she remained tight lipped on anything else. Ordering them from her Library, and [Rem] not wishing to have force via magic applied to YN in his memory shocked state, the duo were forced to leave without any answers resolved.

Exiting into the mansion's hallway, YN prepared to apologize to [Rem] for wasting her time, but before he could, she stopped him.

[Rem]: Rem never once told Beatrice-sama we would be leaving.

Just as YN was surprised to hear her say something so suddenly, so was Rem at her memory counterpart.

YN: I don't follow.

Bluntly displaying his ignorance, Rem related to him.

Neither does Rem...

[Rem]: How would Beatrice-sama know that we should 'ready the carriage' when Rem, or anyone else for that matter, has never informed her we would be leaving later this evening?

Hearing what only made sense, YN spun back around to the door they had just exited while Rem non-existently gasped.

Rem herself hadn't noticed either, just like YN-kun...

While Rem had been slightly disappointed in [her], and by extension, herself, she felt redeemed having seen her memory counterpart notice something she had failed to see, despite her position as an observer.

But, upon trying to re-confront Beatrice, all that met YN was an empty guest room.

Lamenting over the missed detail, [Rem] had to be the one to further relay they were out of time. Getting YN to agree, a guilt that even Rem felt shadowed his soul. Wondering if he had accidentally done something regrettable, [Rem] did her best to console him.

This was the moment everything began to change...

Halting the memory, Rem mulled over her own thoughts, hoping to collect them.

If it were not for the scent being a consequence of a Return, it is unlikely we ever would have been able to notice the near endless amounts of resets that could have occurred in the first place...

Finding it odd she was now in debt to the stench that was the Witch's, and the awful Cult that had plagued her with such trauma, Rem found herself feeling uneasy.

For such a thing to now be a rock for Rem...

Knowing she would be better served speaking to YN over this, Rem trekked further on inside his memories.

Skipping far ahead, Rem noticed the continued similarities in the small junctions she observed. Arriving at the next confrontation, YN had once again been kidnapped, and amidst the fighting, Subaru had been knocked out, and Emilia had perished.

And while she was denied seeing her own death, she was thankful YN did not have to witness it. Even as he struggled in vain to reach her, Beatrice with her knowledge of what came next had changed her strategy. Knowing what more then likely came next thanks to YN informing her, Rem correctly guessed her actions.

Hastily scribbling down words on an already written-on page, Beatrice quickly flashed the notes to YN as the violet light behind her grew. Casting her final spell as they were both caught in the crystal's power, the memory ended just after.

Taking larger skips and leaps this time, Rem proceeded ahead, seeing much of what she had already observed.

When things proceed like this, almost the exact same outcome is bound to occur, the only difference being what Beatrice-sama tries.

Like a reader enthralled in a good book, Rem's raw desire to know more grew. To see the consequences of such tiny actions and changes, it was becoming addicting almost. Making larger and larger leaps in YN's memories, Rem labored to move the amount of non-existent pages in the massive non-existent tome in her non-existent hands.

Coming to yet another apex, the world was reset once more due to Subaru's death, but as it was, Beatrice sent out another message in a bottle for the next time.

Rem must know, why aren't they able to defeat Leo? Surely they must be able to overcome this... Does another hurdle show up?

Getting ready to make another large leap, Rem knew of everything already that would happen, but a guilt grew in her of all the things she may be overlooking.

No... Rem must focus.

Finding herself back in another failed rescue of YN, this time she observed Beatrice, and everyone else fight in vain against Leo.

Commanding everyone with the knowledge she had of the middle aged wizard, Beatrice did her best to coordinate everyone against him, but at every strategy they tried, it failed.

Leo appears to fight only as hard as he must... He scales his skill to those he's against...

Realizing why, Rem knew it was because of her.

No... He's simply holding back so he does not damage what he's after. He is keeping all of his options open.

But try as they might, with such little preparedness, their teamwork and their own skills lacked the proficiency to thwart Leo.

Watching as they tried though, Rem observed how well YN and Emilia could work together in a physical altercation. Their moves, cover, and attacks complimented each other well when it needed to, but when it came to when herself and YN were together...

Much is left to be desired when Rem and YN-kun must fight side by side.

Mis-swings with her morningstar, spells accidentally hitting each other. Trips, feinted attacks, and failed recoveries. Rem was disappointed in their poor performance. Too often it seemed, the other would prioritize the safety of the other when there was no immediate danger.

But after watching YN switch between fighting well with Emilia when she needed the support, and fumbling when he retreated back to [Rem's] side, she realized why this was.

It's not that YN-kun doesn't trust Rem in combat, it's that he's too concerned with her safety.

Knowing the truth was the same for herself, Rem evaluated the double edged sword that was their feelings for each other. Everytime [Rem] opened for offense, YN felt she had also dropped her defense, and that's where the conflict occurred. And the same was true the other way around.

YN-kun cannot allow his Rem to come to harm, and neither can Rem allow him to be harmed.

Where Rem had at first been saddened by seeing Emilia accel with YN where she could not, it now brought a sense of relief and deepened trust.

YN-kun does not hold these same feelings for Emilia-sama.

While the groundskeeper and princess trusted one another in this fight, the desire to protect each was not nearly as strong as it was with the maid and him. Their fighting style suited one another, but what that also meant off the battlefield, was that the bond was not as strong.

Rem is thankful then none of us are knights or warriors...

Had they been the kind of group that valued strength over all else and lived on the battlefield, this might have meant something different, but to Rem, this was all the reassurance she needed that YN held her in the highest regard. And while she was joyed for a moment in that realization, it was quickly tarnished as in the midst of Rem and YN struggling together, he had managed to protect Rem, but by being at her side had neglected Emilia and let her be caught up in one of Leo's wide offensives.

Watching as the half-elf perished, her death had distracted everyone else, and had caused them all to become separated.

Repeating the actions of her predecessor when Leo was forced to draw his final card as he faced the Great Spirit of Fire, Beatrice left another message in a bottle as YN had his memories scrambled by the combination of the crystal and the Spirit's magic.

Searching for the apex of yet another memory of YN's, Rem took large leaps and bounds in order of events.

Rem is surely running out of time, she must only concentrate on viewing the attack and—!

Stopping at a scene that for some reason, she had become hung up on, Rem was compelled to stop, and watch it play out.

Heading out from what must have been Costuul, YN was driving the ground dragon, sitting on the carriage's bench with the reins in his hands. However, what had caught Rem's attention, was who was sitting next to him.

Watching as her drill shaped hair swayed in the open breeze before the ground dragon's Divine Protection of Wind had activated, Rem was fully perplexed as to why Beatrice of all people was sitting outside the carriage, let alone next to YN.

Needing to know more, Rem watched with great intrigue.

YN: Uhh, hey Beatrice, is there any reason why you gotta sit out here? I was kinda looking forward to spending some time with Rem, and it's not really the most enjoyable ride outside here, I'm sure you'd be much more at ease inside—

Beatrice: Do you want to save the younger maid-sister or not I suppose?

Being forced to bite his own lip, Rem felt the miniscule shared sensation of pain upon her own lip. Staying silent in reply to her, YN let Beatrice continue.

Beatrice: Betty needs to stay close by. While you manage to have a large reserve of mana, you waste equally large amounts whenever you cast any magic, and the same is true for keeping Betty in her physical form.

Why would Beatrice-sama need to stay close to YN-kun...?

YN: Is being inside the carriage not close enough?

Beatrice: It is, but Betty needs to prepare you for the upcoming dangers.

YN: Are you finally going to tell me what's going to happen to Rem?! I'm sick of being ignored and—!

Beatrice: Silence. Any louder and they will hear you. You know the consequence of our contract if you tell her or anyone else.

—! A contract?! 'Consequences'?!

Utterly shocked by what Beatrice had to say, Rem was stunned beyond belief.

A contract with Beatrice-sama?! Why in the world would she do such a thing...

Beatrice: —Or should Betty go ahead and tell Roswaal that you and that other troublesome man are from another world? He won't be too comfortable knowing that, I suppose.

It's a threat! She's trapped him...

Balling her non-existent hands into fists, Rem could barely contain her anger.

She's tricking him, and using him...

Gathering that Beatrice was dangling both Rem's safety, and the threat of informing Roswaal of his origin over YN, Rem could easily tell this was not a contract made mutually between them.

Biting his lip once more and staying quiet in reply, Rem's own non-existent lip pained in conjunction, but what pained her more was the state YN was in. Forced to obey out of fear for both himself, and for Rem and his relationship, YN had no choice but to comply with the butterfly eyed girl.

Beatrice: Betty guessed correctly then. Now, we have much to go over now that we're alone.

This should be interesting...

While not the sequence of memories she had been seeking out, Rem nonetheless knew she should probably make herself privy to the dialog here.

Beatrice-sama more than likely found out about YN-kun and Subaru-kun being from another world when listening in between them talking about home...

Even with Beatrice promising to skip looking at any memory involving YN and herself, she hadn't excluded him and Subaru.

YN-kun was right in saying we needed a world where Beatrice-sama had not looked back on his memories... It's far too dangerous to trust certain people with such information, even if we think it may be okay.

Noticing the swaying of Beatrice's hair had disappeared, the ground dragon's Divine Protection was now in effect, essentially isolating the carriage from the wind beating against its side, and the bumps that occurred in the oncoming road.

Beatrice: Betty wants you to concentrate your mana in your palm, but rather than casting your Yang magic Betty wants you to try Yin magic. Since you are in a contract with Betty, you have access to all of Betty's magic.

Reaching her own hand out, Beatrice raised it towards the horizon.

Beatrice: Repeat after Betty. Minya.

Generating one of her iconic purple flaming mana crystals from thin air, the drill haired girl propelled it far and away. With the ground dragon's Divine Protection currently in effect, the occupants of the carriage they sat in were oblivious to the use of magic, the shockwave being nullified like any gust of wind or rut in the road.

Seeing its result, YN raised his palm like hers, and while almost casting Jiwald out of habit, YN chanted as Beatrice had instructed him.

YN: Minya.

Conjuring one of his own crystals from thin air, it was smaller than Beatrice's, and lacked the same robust flame around it. Launching it out and away to the horizon, it caught a small rotation, and veered out and away like a poorly thrown sports ball. Where Beatrice's had essentially propelled hers out into the blue sky above them, YN's careened into a nearby thicket of trees, shaking a few branches as it made impact. While still a formidable distance, much farther than he believed what El Jiwald could accomplish, his own surprise was dwarfed in comparison to Rem's.

YN-kun casting yin magic so easily...

Crossing her arms, Beatrice observed the results.

Beatrice: That is sufficient for close quarters combat I suppose.

YN: Huh?

Catching the true meaning behind her appraisal, Rem had Beatrice figured out.

Beatrice-sama is intending on YN-kun fighting Leo...

Recalling her comment on YN's "large reserve of mana," it made even more sense.

She intends on using YN-kun for her own offensive advantage... Beatrice-sama knows how powerful Leo is from her own viewing of the memories yet she insists on putting YN-kun in danger!

With a rage building in her non-existent chest, Rem continued to observe the memory, if only to oust her own doubt that there was no way Beatrice could be thinking to do this.

Beatrice: Now, Betty will move you onto something else. Repeat the exact action with gathering your mana in your palm I suppose.

Doing as she instructed, he readied the sensation in his hand, causing it to grow warm.

YN: Min—!

Beatrice: Halt. Betty did not instruct you to cast anything yet.

Forcing his mana to stall before finishing his chant, YN felt a small whiplash effect against his Gate that Rem was subjected to as well.

Beatrice: Make the attempt of casting Jiwald and Minya at the same time.

Giving the drill haired girl a tilted look, YN fumbled with what he was being asked to do.

YN: I... Wouldn't I need two mouths as well to cast them both?

Beatrice: You should be proficient enough in Jiwald that you've cast it without the incarnation, correct?

Thinking about it, YN had recalled a few times during the mabeast attack he had done so when fighting alongside Subaru and Ram, although he probably hadn't noticed it at the time.

Giving her a shallow nod, Beatrice continued.

Beatrice: Then apply that to Minya as well then. Say both of them in your mind at the same time I suppose.

Closing his eyes, YN kept his hand projected up and away and concentrated on keeping his mana ready.

Why is Beatrice-sama attempting to get YN-kun to try this? He's only a beginner, and—

Feeling a pairing of a cold reflection on the hand that produced warmth, Rem cut off her own thoughts as her vision filled with a bright light, outlined by a dark, ominous lack of light.

Just as the apex of this new, combined spell was to be reached, a sharp, stabbing pain came from YN's gate.

YN: Ack—!

As the mana for this half-cast spell fizzled away, YN lurched forward, clutching his abdomen.

YN-kun!

Feeling a similar, shared affliction, Rem's mind nonetheless prioritized YN's own condition over what she felt. Coughing a few times into his sleeve, YN lowered his arm from his mouth at the odd taste in his mouth. Staining his clothes was a faint amount of blood from his coughing fit.

YN: —!

Beatrice: We'll need to work on that some more I suppose. Had Betty not cut off your Gate momentarily, you'd have used all of your Od trying to finish casting that.

Beatrice-sama!

While Rem longed for nothing else than to comfort YN in his moment of pain in this twisted loop and to also scold Beatrice for her poor treatment of him as her pupil, she could not help but be fascinated at the same time.

For YN-kun to pick up Two Fold magic so easily... that's nearly an impossible task to perform for even the most skilled magician.

While Rem had never seen Two Fold magic before, she was aware of Roswaal having used greater variants of three or four, but that was because he simply was the best. In Rem's mind, this did not diminish Roswaal or the difficulties of multi-fold magic but rather gave her another keen insight into YN's potential.

Beatrice: *Sigh* It seems you're barely even fit to guide the ground dragon in this state.

Wiping the blood that remained on his lower lip with one sleeve and the cold sweat from his brow with the other sleeve, YN forced himself to take a deep breath.

YN: I'm... I'm fine.

Giving him a look of contempt, Beatrice pouted as she turned to climb back into the carriage.

Beatrice: Then Betty will return inside. It's boring out here if you're so inclined to push yourself.

Pausing her view of the memory, Rem did her best to contain her anger at YN's mistreatment.

For YN-kun to be treated in such a way, Rem can hardly believe it. A contracted spirit is supposed to be an ally, not an enemy.

Unconvinced she could stomach anymore of this loop, Rem skipped far ahead once more, wishing to make better use of her limited remaining time and forget this terrible reality.

Skipping ahead to what was Beatrice confessing everything like YN had told her, Rem also knew she was now at a point where YN had conscious memories.

Seeing the mix of sorrow and anguish on the drill haired girl's face that was wet with tears, unbefitting of her stature as a Great Spirit, Rem felt a tinge of sympathy for her. Mostly extinguishing her previous newfound contempt for her, Rem would at this point be forced to view her differently from now on, but perhaps not as harshly as she had imagined.

Beatrice-sama is genuinely resentful here it seems... The stress of trying to overcome such odds could push someone to act cruelly, especially if the outcome of failure is the world ending...

But at the same time, could Rem just forgive someone who had led YN to such high degrees of suffering, both mentally and physically? Even if they both didn't retain those memories, would she feel as forgiving had they not been? Was she choosing to be a product of her environment, or was she truly working with what she had? That question could apply to either of them.

Rem should consult YN-kun with this as well... At the very least, he is the only one Rem can turn to who has experienced something similar...

Rem could only struggle in vain at the concept of forgiving one for the sins they had not actually trespassed upon.

With a small laundry list of things she needed to address YN with though, Rem was impressed she was still in control of viewing his memories after such a lengthy time it seemed.

This all would have ended by now, Rem thinks. ...Is there a point of looking forward if YN-kun already knows of everything though?

Admittedly, Rem didn't have a clue how to "end" or "exit" these memories. Nonetheless, she remained satisfied that she didn't need to look back to anything for a second look. Rem figured she only had one direction to go, which did pique a small bit of intrigue from her.

YN-kun and Rem did have a few very sweet moments that she is glad she was able to see. And... even if YN-kun remembers them... it's a very different thing to see them for herself, isn't it?

Choosing to indulge herself, Rem skipped a tiny bit ahead, hoping to find memories she could cherish as her own, even if she was only watching herself as a participant.

Taking a leap, Rem traversed ahead, skipping the conversation she knew she and YN were bound to have, and proceeded to where she felt like everyone would be boarding the carriage to depart. Yet, here she was, looking up at a familiar face.

Feeling her back against the warm, sunbaked ground, she felt pressure on each of her limbs.

That's—!

Seeing what would normally be the calming face of her elder sister, Rem could see she was currently anything but calm.

And YN-kun's arms and legs, why can't he move them?!

With the vision of YN's clearing up, a single familiar entity blocked the evening sun and pink sky with her equally pink hair.

N-Nee-sama?!

Holding each of his limbs down, using a combination of her knees, legs, and one of her arms, Rem was utterly perplexed at how such a situation could have formed. Concerning her the most though, was the swirling wind magic her elder sister held in her other hand, ready to use it on YN should things call for it.

Ram: NY, tell Ram this instant you felt the need to take her away like this. This isn't like you.

Hearing as YN could only stutter at the force he was being presented with, Rem heard her own voice speak up.

[Rem]: Nee-sama please stop!

Ram: Rem! NY is acting strange! He just tired to—

[Rem]: —Tried to carry Nee-sama here? Yes. Rem knows. She asked YN-kun to do that.

Confused at her own words, Rem paused the memory for a moment to gather her thoughts on everything she had just so quickly viewed.

YN-kun tried to carry Nee-sama? Why would [Rem] ask him to do that...

Letting it continue, she hoped some more context could be gathered on just what was going on.

Ram: Rem... Why?

Seeing her sister begin to learn there was no danger, Rem felt the weight of her sister fall onto YN's chest as she dropped the threatening posture, but was still effectively straddling him with her legs.

[Rem]: Rem will explain, but please refrain from sitting on YN-kun any longer. Only Rem is allowed to do that.

With her words causing an awkward look between her sister and YN, Rem halted the memory out of pure secondhand embarrassment.

She didn't mean it that way! Rem meant when she sits on YN-kun's lap on the carriage!

Taking solace in the only thing she could, Rem was at least thankful this hadn't occurred in the current loop.

Rem does not think she could face Nee-sama if she had such a wrong idea about her...

Thinking more on how the two had ended up like that though, Rem at least knew she needed to flip back in her pages to find out why she had suggested such a course of action.

Entering the new memory, a small pain was felt in the small of Rem's non-existent back. Setting a large trunk down, YN lamented about the amount of baggage Emilia was bringing along on this trip.

So this is how heavy these were to YN-kun... Rem would do well to remember this so she knows his limits, but—

Oddly enough, for the first time, Rem had finally got a tangible strength difference between her and YN. Yet before she could evaluate it further, she analyzed where she might have flipped back to in his memories.

—This might have been too far...

Just as she was about to skip forward, Rem heard herself inquire about why YN wanted to go see Ram. But while not directly answering her on that question, YN began to fidget with his hands, struggling to say what he wanted to, which prompted [Rem] to hold it, and encourage him to continue.

Mentioning how this was the first time [Rem] would be dealing with a Return she would be conscious of, YN struggled to say what his plan was, despite her encouraging him as best as she could.

YN: Rem, I— I don't think we're making it out of this loop... I'm so sorry Rem, but this loop needs to be thrown away...

While she had tried to put up a reassuring front, Rem could tell her memory counterpart was definitely off-put at hearing that.

Rem can't imagine hearing that herself, yet that has indeed happened.

Even as [Rem] surely felt remorse, Rem knew it was nothing compared to the frustration and guilt YN felt.

No one wants to have to say such a thing to the person they hold closest... Rem does not think she would have the strength to say the same to YN-kun.

While she felt powerless at her own personal inability to comfort him as he broke down, she nonetheless was thankful [Rem] was there and able to, perhaps even better then she could at this moment.

Rem is happy that at least YN-kun was well taken care of and looked after.

Patting herself on the back in a backwards kind of way, she let the memory continue.

[Rem]: But Rem isn't worried or upset. She knows her hero will keep his promise to Rem to never leave her behind when he comes back. He'll tell Rem everything that happened, and all the happy moments they shared together... And if there's a lot Rem has missed, then she'll ask Beatrice-sama to look into your memories like before, when we have more time to do it... So please don't be sad, okay? Rem understands what needs to be done, and wants nothing else other than to make sure YN-kun can successfully accomplish his goal of getting out of this loop with everyone safe and sound so we can all have more happy memories together.

Hearing herself pour her heart out to quell YN's worries, Rem was surprised at how emotional she was as well.

Just that ended up happening, didn't it? Rem is in YN-Kun's memories once more.

Not only relieved to see YN was calm once more, she was also in regards to how well [Rem] was handling it. Rem did not lament her memory counterparts like she used to. Not now anyway, since she knew from this point on, she would be by YN's side and (hopefully) never see herself view him as an enemy like she had at one point.

Rem however did view them with an air of inadequacy. They were not as well as informed as her, and therefore, could not be as useful to YN as she could be.

But this was changing quickly.

This [Rem] handled consoling YN-kun better than what Rem feels like she could have managed...

What was it that had made a "Rem" from before her seemingly more successful than she could be? Was it the fresh outlook on things? The lack of being as well informed? Or was she performing better with a pinch of pressure from the real consequences this loop brought? She couldn't be sure.

One thing she was sure of though, was now the tables felt flipped. She was the one she felt was inadequate between herself and [Rem.]

Even with these thoughts troubling her, Rem listened in on YN explaining his need to talk to Ram, and [Rem] explained her idea for getting her to finally pay attention.

With the much needed context, Rem returned to the pages she had just been to, eager to see how the plan unfolded.

Flipping back to the memory she had just been to, Rem's vision filled with a hand outstretched toward her. Seeing YN take it, it had been Ram's.

Nee-sama must have just gotten off YN-kun.

Feeling her secondhand embarrassment return from what had only occurred moments before in this memory, Rem shook her nonexistent head and proceeded forward.

Despite YN-kun's odd actions towards Nee-sama, she still used a great amount of restraint.

Rem knew her sister. Despite the vanity she was aware of still existing or not, she knew what would have transpired had someone other than YN had tried doing what he had done.

It's obvious Nee-sama trusts YN-kun a great deal. Rem is very glad her and YN-kun get along so well, especially since others tend to not appreciate Nee-sama as they should.

While in reality, Ram did at times struggle to get along with others, Rem was nonetheless appreciative that the two most important people in her life got along so well. With all three of them taking seats, it was Ram who had cut off YN, jumping to her own conclusions of what they needed to discuss.

Ram: Rem is expecting then, is she?

Watching as both herself and YN were caught off by this assumption of Ram's, Rem could tell her sister wasn't joking.

Ram: With as much time as you two spend together, Ram can only expect this to have happened sooner or later. Especially times like this afternoon when Ram couldn't find either of you.

Does Nee-sama really think that Rem and YN-kun have—?!

Ram: YN. Ram expects you to take responsibility.

[Rem] & Rem: Nee-sama~~!

Calling out in unison, equally frustrated and embarrassed, Rem and her memory counterpart were both unable to halt Ram's assumptions.

Ram: Ram also expects YN to make an honest woman out of Rem, so a wedding will need to be planned.

A w-w-wedding?!

Feeling her nonexistent face flush red at the very thought, Rem had to stop to get herself to calm down.

... Rem is really beginning to wish Nee-sama was correct...

Unable to explain the fever that was overtaking her, Rem's head buzzed with all the possibilities.

O-our wedding... Rem would hope it would be nice... She also wonders what it would look like, and—

Ram: And yes, you have Ram's blessing to do so. And yes, Ram will allow you to name the baby after her if it's a girl.

... what our children would look like~~.

While Rem had been matching herself in this memory almost word for word in their reactions, it was here they made a distinct split. Rem's admiration for the idea had overpowered her embarrassment, and she felt the heat grow in her chest at just the prospect of what everything would be like.

[Rem]: Besides, Rem already has names picked out...

It's true!

Beginning to wonder if YN would like the chosen names, Rem was forced to pay attention to other things as the memory progressed and became more serious, actively discussing the issues at hand they had faced.

With [Rem] giving a brief, but detailed explanation of the problems they faced in regards to "time being rewound by crystal", Rem escaped a punishment being levied to either YN or Subaru by simply watching her phrasing and only repeating what Beatrice had explained to them.

But as Rem could see, she had failed to convince Ram of anything. Seeing how she would react given she actually anticipated consequences from her sister's denial, Rem was thankful at least that YN had told her ahead of time that she had actually managed to convince Ram in the previous loop, despite an initial shortcoming.

Yet, he had failed to relay how she had.

[Rem]: Nee-sama. The truth is... The truth of all of this is—!

Somewhat surprised at her own outburst, Rem began to become worried at what she might hear herself say next.

[Rem]: —[Rem] has also gone into YN-kun's memories! She's seen so much... So she knows first hand everything that is seen is entirely correct. Everything you see has happened...

If Rem is willing to tell Nee-sama that much, then will she also tell her of—

While Ram glared at YN with a renewed suspicion, nearly in direct conflict to Rem's previous observation of her trust, she was speechless from what she heard next.

[Rem]: YN-kun... isn't from this world.

Thinking it was too direct to actually happen, Rem was in shock she had actually gone through with saying it.

Ram: Rem... do you mean he's—

[Rem]: —From beyond the Great Waterfall. Yes.

Rem had been so preoccupied thinking of if she could tell Ram of YN's origins, she hadn't even considered how Ram would begin to react.

Beatrice-sama had threatened to tell Roswaal-sama as if it might be a bad thing... Rem had never thought if Nee-sama would view it the same way.

Holding the memory, a great concern now filled Rem. Would Ram pull her support of her and YN being together? Would this break the trust she had of him? Would having kept this information from her be a breach of trust?

Rem wanted to share everything with her sister she held so high in regard. And to an extent, that might even include YN, should he also be okay with it. Part of that meant also not keeping any secrets from her though.

Well, as few as she could without harming YN.

But telling her of YN's origins wasn't one that she thought necessarily would harm him, be it physically or emotionally. She wanted to, one day, let Ram know these things. It was only in her sisterly instinct to do so. But—

Rem doesn't want to have to keep such a secret from Nee-sama forever...

Bubbling up not unlike her memory counterpart had just moments ago at Ram's skepticism of her retelling of Beatrice's synopsis, Rem awaited her reaction.

While silent at first, Rem could not disertain her sister's emotions or feelings. Especially without being physically there, she was unable to even estimate via her Synesthesia.

Immediately though, Ram drew up the similarities between YN and Subaru, finding their likenesses of their arrival and coming to the same conclusion for both of them. This however still did not reveal to Rem how her sister judged these two, as now that everything that was knowable about them had been laid out in front of her.

Taking a few quick steps towards him though, Ram immediately grabbed YN's shirt collar.

Nee-sama!

Worried about what might come next for him and suspecting violence, Rem watched as YN's vision was filled with a distinct, nearly ruby red color she recognized as Ram's own eye. Staring uncomfortably long, she eventually let go of his collar, and proceeded to grab and contort YN's face in her hands, as if trying to see if he was made out of rubber.

Nee-sama... that's enough. You're being too rough with YN-kun's adorable face.

With [Rem] also voicing a disapproval of Ram's closeness to YN, she stepped back to where she had sat just moments ago. Inquiring why she had behaved as such, Ram simply rationed it as her own carelessness for having not noticed that YN was clearly not from this world.

As [Rem] celebrated her sister's change in heart to believing the report of their repeated struggles, she said something that had completely caught Rem off guard.

Ram: You did also manage to prove Ram right in one other way as well... Ram was correct in guessing there was no man in the world good enough for Rem. He needed to come from a different one.

Seeing her sister smile at YN before walking past him while he still held [Rem], Rem knew how profoundly rare it was for her sister to show such warm emotions to anyone else.

Nee-sama really would approve then... It's... It's not impossible for us to tell her. She can know! We can share that with her someday.

As much as Rem would thoroughly enjoy bursting out of this memory and running to tell her with no delay, she reigned herself back in, knowing she must discuss it with YN first.

YN-kun might have some thoughts and points that need bringing up first. Rem will have to do her best to hold her tongue until then.

Watching as Ram stepped back out into the late evening sun, she instructed them each on what to do next, namely that they should meet Roswaal and her in his study shortly.

Accompanying YN up to the study, [Rem] and YN were met by Ram and Roswaal. After some explanation of their goals regarding keeping Beatrice from attending, the topic came to how they would go about doing that. With Roswaal explaining her Door-Crossing ability and it's shortcomings, they knew the only way to "trap" Beatrice in her library was to reduce the mansion's closed doors to only one, the last one Beatrice could be capable of controlling.

Finding issue with the methodology though, YN voiced his concern, which Roswaal answered in a most unexpectedly violent manner.

Watching as Roswaal utterly destroyed the ornate door to his study, Rem's reaction yet again paralleled her memory counterpart's.

[Rem] & Rem: Roswaal-sama!

Roswaal: While it is ceeeeertainly a crude method, it's flawless in that it keeps us from opening any door, and upon its destruction, permanently severs the link with her Door-Crossing.

Without any more time to waste though, the work of destroying the mansion's doors was divided up. Approaching the first door, Rem saw herself place a hand on the knob.

Rem cannot watch!

Seeing herself take one final breath of confidence, [Rem] ripped the door right off its hinges, causing there to be a large, splintery mess all across the hallway.

Halting the memory, Rem was absolutely flabbergasted in herself for going through with it.

She cannot believe it... There's no way [Rem] could have done that to nearly half the mansion's doors...

Even with YN departing, he had peered past a hallway corner and watched [Rem] destroy several more. At her absolute limit now, viewing such disregard to the mansion she worked so hard to clean and maintain, Rem had enough.

Rem is skipping forward!

Taking a large amount of pages in her hand, Rem imagined herself flipping far ahead in YN's memories. Hopefully from here, she would not be subjected to such terrible things.

Right?

Being thrust into the middle of a memory, the first thing Rem heard was her own voice.

[Rem]: Now then, Subaru-kun, please remain here with Emilia-sama and help her unpack, we will be back shortly.

Seeing the memory through YN's eyes, Rem recalled their surroundings.

This was one of our rooms at the inn, when we stopped at Costuul.

Noting how far along she had skipped, Rem proceeded on, determining this had been a good length to have jumped ahead.

Watching as her and YN proceeded down into the city streets, the two walked with Rem taking the lead as normal.

Rem does seem to pull YN-kun along everytime we go somewhere...

Becoming all too aware of the habit she had formed out of nowhere in regard to taking YN's hand and taking him around, Rem realized something else as well.

Never though, has YN-kun complained.

Recalling many of the times she had done so, he had maybe complained when she held his hand too tightly, but never at the direction they were going or the destination. Even thinking back to one of the first times she had done so, was in a memory she had seen.

That time when YN-kun and Subaru-kun tried to first earn Rem and Nee-sama's trust...

It was the time Subaru had stayed inside Beatrice's hidden library, and YN had been offered the role of butler in place of Subaru.

[Rem] had dragged YN-kun off, only for her to do the unthinkable.

But the entire time, just like every time, YN never pulled away with Rem leading him on. It never mattered where they went, he always trusted the blue haired maid.

YN: This isn't the pantry, is it?

Stopping the memory she was watching, Rem recalled the earlier memory and the dread in his voice as he had said that to her. Proceeding into the storage room despite the cold, icy tone and expression she had given him.

To Rem, this death of YN had stood out the most to her. While it hadn't been the most painful or traumatic, it has been the most unjustifiable one to her.

All on a single whim... Rem took his life with the very hands YN-kun trusts to lead him on.

At any point, he could have trusted his own instincts that [Rem] was going to be hostile. He could have refused to be taken along by her. He could have shouted and resisted, at the very least, he could have said "no."

He could have fought back easily when she had used both her hands to strangle the breath from his body, yet he didn't. She had taken his life so easily, and yet she had done so for the worst of reasons.

This trust in Rem... it is something that could harm YN-kun greatly if she does not treat him as gently as she can.

As the memory remained frozen before her, YN's vision had been locked down to the hand of hers that held his, guiding him through the crowded streets of Costuul.

Rem worries it won't be the last time these hands ever harm him... To trust the things that have hurt him the most...

To others, it might seem as if that much trust could only blossom from the purest of loves, but to Rem, it was self defeating.

Rem will have YN-kun's trust, but because of that trust still, he could never love her... Not with what it has made him end up with, the consequences it has rought.

Just as Rem could not see her own face at this point in the memory, she had not seen her own when she had strangled YN.

For all Rem knows, something like that may occur again in this very memory...

Yet at the same time, for all Rem knew, was that despite everything, YN still always took her hand, and let himself be guided along by her. Almost at the point of fear in continuing to watch memories at the small chance she'd see herself betray him once more, Rem felt an air of inspiration.

If YN-kun can trust Rem to lead him forward, then Rem must also believe in that trust. She must trust, and never doubt her Hero.

Letting the memory continue, [Rem] and YN continued their search of Costuul. Going to cross sides of the busy road though, they had stopped to wait their turn as the many ground dragons and carriages slowly passed by. And as they waited, it started.

Rem at first felt the shared sensation as YN pointed out across the avenue, at a tall stand with a single man working a large, round metal cooking dish with a great fire bellowing out from underneath it.

It was small, yet wet, but in a very short amount of time, it wasn't the only one she felt. On her non-existent hand, arm, her hand again, and her head, the slow drumroll of the "pitter patter" of raindrops quickly evolved into a crescendo of a deluge.

With the heavens above opening up the torrent of water, all of the people around them scattered for cover, as well as all the shops and vendors. Yet, with determination, YN took [Rem's] hand and led them both through the mass of people to the stall he had pointed to.

Reaching it, he allowed [Rem] to read and order in his stay, due to his inability to accurately do so.

Rem seems to have neglected helping YN-kun practice reading handwritten glyphs.

While she briefly thought up a new lesson plan for him, YN did something she had not expected. Giving up the only spot one could be shielded from the rain, he moved [Rem] into it.

Through the shared sensation, Rem felt the dampness of the clothes and the added bit of weight they had from being soaked. She could feel the raindrops running down off YN's face as his hair could hold no more water. Even with [Rem's] protest, he did not take the dry spot.

Rem: YN-kun will catch a cold! Please switch with Rem!

YN: You know I couldn't do that to you.

Getting what they ordered though, Rem continued to watch as herself and YN ran back through the heavily puddled streets back to the inn, laughing and smiling at each other. Being able to see herself have such a happy moment with YN though did work to make her feel better, especially in regard to where her mind had been just moments ago.

While she saw her own maid outfit and hair also become damp like YN's as they ran together, it was nowhere near as soaked as he was, and Rem could feel it.

This was why YN-kun had told Rem to bring their cloaks despite the warm weather.

Rem recalled how surreal it came across as to have YN plan so perfectly for things she could have never expected. If nothing else, with it's timing being so sharp on his part, that had been the first real instance she had seen or known without a shadow of doubt that YN had previously lived that moment.

And still, his first priority was convincing Rem...

Arriving back to Subaru and Emilia, the meals were distributed after a harsh criticism of YN and his soggy-self. Opting to go change, and after doing so, it was [Rem] who had come to accompany him now.

Yet even if it were just her, YN was still not free from criticism.

[Rem]: Rem sees someone forgot to dry their hair.

YN: O-Oh, woops. I'll go do that—

[Rem]: No need, Rem will have to do it, it seems. Please sit.

Already having a towel on hand it seemed, Rem felt the sensation of YN's hair being tossed around and become less damp via the shared sensations she had in these memories. Taking her by surprise though, Rem felt an object put it's weight onto his back. Two objects.

Trying to discern what they were, her mind was quickly startled by her own voice, softly whispering into his ear, sending shivers down YN's, and by proxy, her own spine.

[Rem]: Ara~, what is [Rem] supposed to do with her YN-kun?

Feeling his very reaction to her advance and attempt to sound alluring, Rem noted its results.

Rem should be sure to remember how well that worked on him.

Before she could ponder any other ways to use that method or ways to improve it, she saw [herself] step in front of YN, and begin to play with his still damp hair, trying to stylize it as much as [she] could.

At first only wishing to see how she was doing it, Rem's attention was turned back to herself. Leaning over in front of him to get a closer look at his hair, most of, if not all of her own chest was on display for YN, taking up his entire vision.

Feeling the heat of YN's cheeks as he kept his eyes trained directly on them, Rem realized on key thing. Recalling the sensation on YN's back, she suddenly realized what it had been.

[She] was—! That was... very bold of [herself].

At least being thankful YN had seemed to enjoy it, one other thought crossed her mind.

Rem wasn't aware they were so... heavy.

As Rem observed, YN's eyes had stayed locked onto the subject she herself was thinking of, yet at the same time she had concluded her own thoughts, YN looked up and had his eyes meet [Rem's.]

YN: Rem, you look a little upset.

Surprised at his conclusion, Rem in observation was doubtful he had guessed correctly at all since—

[Rem]: [Rem] is just slightly upset that YN-kun was told to go change so harshly. Neither Emilia-sama nor Subaru-kun thanked him properly either despite getting so wet...

Pausing the memory, what had caught Rem off guard more wasn't her failure to catch the same reasoning as her memory counterpart had in regards to what she also now agreed was mistreatment of YN.

No, what had done so was that YN was able to catch something she hadn't noticed about herself.

What did YN-kun see in [Rem] she could not see in herself?

Moved by YN's care towards her, what followed her was a pang in her heart. Despite everything these memories could tell her, the one thing they couldn't was YN's genuine feelings towards her.

Rem knows they are strong. But...

With her self doubt clouding her mind, Rem finished her thought.

—it will never be love, will it?

Letting the memory continue, YN iterated that he didn't quite draw the same conclusion [Rem] had, but also thanked her for helping him nonetheless. Moving forward though, [Rem] was satisfied with how she had styled YN's hair, and had brought their meal over to them.

While about to skip past and ahead of YN just eating, Rem noticed he was piling up a small amount of the green condiment he hadn't been too keen on before, when they had gotten their hambulgars.

Quickly though, their meal conversion was derailed at YN hearing that word. After some brief explanation, he informed Rem that these were more then likely from his world, reiterating his previous explanation of Hoshin he had given to [Rem] at the beginning of this far-gone loop and to her directly in the loop she was currently in.

So this is what sparked YN-kun's interest in trying those at that restaurant.

Continuing on, [Rem] had teased YN about how she liked his hair in the way she had styled it. Even with him offering to leave it like this because she seemed so fond of it, [Rem] was forced to sigh, saying it would only stay that way while damp.

Rem is very jealous that she cannot see YN-kun with his hair like that...

Keeping a keen lookout for a mirror or other reflective surface YN might be by, the conversation quickly turned more somber. With [Rem] noticing before Rem in observation had, YN confessed his continued guilt.

Naming what he perceived as selfishness for having such tender moments with [Rem] that she couldn't remember, and only he would, he also voiced a fear he might bring up such memories with her later on, letting his memory fog up what Rem would have actually experienced or not.

Hearing the frustration in his voice, she did her best to console him. Asking instead for a request to have more touching moments together in the future to make up for it, Rem was again surprised at how well her memory counterpart handled lifting YN's spirit back up.

... Rem feels very... outclassed by [herself].

Again, [Rem] had managed to beautifully articulate herself. Drowning out YN's sorrow with hope of renewed memories, she had infused her words with the emotions she felt towards him.

Maybe it is because YN-kun had just finished saying such sweet things to [Rem] that she was inspired by that. Rem was also moved by what he said, but maybe the impact is less since Rem know's YN-kun will be happy to hear that she knows everything now. Rem got to experience all these moments together with him in the end. We avoided the reason for YN-kun to feel sad.

Hoping to leave their conversation on a lighter note, [Rem] had decided to call it a night and cleaned up, asking YN to please get ready tomorrow, believing he should be well rested. As he fell asleep, the memory faded for Rem, drawing a black nothingness of slumber.

Preparing for the next memory, one last curiosity came across her mind.

Wait... how did this loop end? Rem remember's YN-kun speaking to her about how [Rem] saved everything in the end...

And to the best of Rem's knowledge, Subaru did not retain any memories, yet YN had.

YN-kun said that was due to Rem fixing things where he failed...

But what had she done? With the way Rem understood what the loops were ending from, and the circumstances that revolved around the memories being lost, she couldn't understand a way where she could have made the difference.

Rem should see as much as she can. Perhaps there are answers to this in all that.

Taking a great deal of pages in the nonexistent tome, Rem skipped ahead in the memory, hoping to unravel the mystery of the motive of the attack.

Arriving at their entrance in Saluzzo, Rem observed the key points she knew would happen every time as this juncture.

Subaru being surprised at the town's architecture, YN fawning over her dress choice, and Emilia trying to ask YN to be her second.

The one thing that separated this loop however; Rem already knew from what YN had explained to her at the beginning of what was this loop that this was his direct memory.

YN-kun and Rem confront Julio-sama on a whim, and that gets him to confess...

When Rem and YN themselves had done the same thing in the current loop, they had the knowledge of his confession from this previous loop, allowing them to word their deal and ultimatum easily.

Rem is curious how exactly this went...

While YN had described the entire ordeal in great detail to Rem already, she did wish to see it for herself.

Listening in like a fly on the wall, Rem heard Julio explain himself.

His story is much sadder, having heard it first hand...

In truth, she was thankful that Julio had been made an ally. Hearing that someone else had experienced something so similar to what she and Ram had happened made her feel slightly less alone in their victimhood. While Rem adored YN beyond comprehension, she knew he couldn't fully relate to that, yet more than anyone else, he was able to comfort her in regards to it.

It was good Rem was here to support YN-kun. Had she not displayed her horn, it is unlikely Julio-sama would have cooperated so well.

Getting his full commitment, YN and [Rem] left Julio's study, and proceeded outside to the garden and pond that Subaru always seems to be so enthralled over. Taking a seat that overlooked the fish swimming underneath, YN relayed his change in strategy to [Rem].

Yet, as the conversation went on, it quickly became apparent that both of them were still grappling with the guilt of their actions. [Rem] having betrayed Beatrice and damaging the mansion, and YN for planning an unfortunate fate against Subaru.

Trying to comfort him though, [Rem] reminded YN that nothing here was permanent.

[Rem]: It's only because everything can be taken back to zero that we do these things, right?

Inspiring YN to also do his best to comfort her as well, he spoke the words needed to calm both of their hearts.

YN: I think we both need to understand, Rem. We only do this because there's no consequences. We only do this because we care for everyone. We only do this because it's temporary. That doesn't make us bad people. We'll never be bad people as long as we have each other to check ourselves. We care too much about each other to let that happen.

Seeing how he reacted to her, Rem once again admired her memory counterpart.

What is it, Rem wonders, that makes this [Rem] so assuring and useful to YN-kun?

Feeling a mix of strong emotions, both pride for [herself], and a pang of insufficiency in herself, Rem was uncertain what to make of it.

Rem continues to feel inadequate to the [Rem] of this yester-loop.

Despite knowing this was herself, Rem couldn't shake the feeling that she was also a separate person, and the more she felt that, the more she felt jealous of her.

Rem can only hope she can be as useful to YN-kun in the future...

Wrestling with such thoughts in her mind as she watched [herself] have a touching moment with YN, just as they were, she was surprised by a new voice from behind them, chiming like a silver bell.

With Emilia and Subaru approaching them, the two parties conversed on topics of lost outfits, and with Rem volunteering to "assist" in locating it, her and Subaru departed together.

While Rem is upset she lost out on seeing more of [her] and YN-kun together, it's important that [Rem] handled this.

Recalling what YN had told her on how the outfits got switched, she knew she needed to play that part in order for the plan to work successfully. Yet, she hadn't expected the conversation between YN and Emilia that would follow.

Asking once more to be her second while giving her speech, Rem could tell YN's enthusiasm was drawn from his desire to make his plan work. Surprisingly though, it was Emilia's reaction that had stunned Rem.

Emilia: It's... I didn't even need to try and convince you like I knew I would. If you just agreed, that's only because you felt like you had to. That's why you're being so formal, aren't you?

Watching as the half elf turned away from YN, Rem was stunned. She had never seen Emilia act so hurt by YN.

Emilia-sama...

Emilia: Sometimes I wish if there was just one way you could be different, it would be if you could just talk to me like an equal...

Letting her walk away, YN mumbled about his frustrations and hoped [Rem] was having an easier time.

YN-kun... always thinking about his Rem...

While she did feel her heart flutter gently at his concern, Emilia's reaction is what still occupied Rem's mind.

For Emilia-sama to say such a thing... Rem can only wonder if the same sentiment extends to her and Nee-sama as well.

Emilia hadn't spent quite a year at the mansion, but throughout the entire time, never once had she reacted this way to Rem or Ram.

Is this from the way Subaru-kun treats her? Or is it because they're both so new?

As YN continued to dwell by the koi pond for longer, Rem was only left guessing at the multitude of reasons why Emilia would feel this way towards YN and not towards anyone else she knew she interacted with regularly.

Perhaps it is because they're both so new, or that because she knew them before they were both under her service?

In a way, this troubled Rem. Was it because her and her sister were failing to be the confidants they needed to be? Or was the problem smaller than it appeared?

Why YN-kun in specific...?

Knowing she was unable to answer these questions, Rem knew her time here was coming to an end. Her attachment to the shared sensations was beginning to dull, and her control was waning.

The battle, the last one YN-kun had before coming back to Rem... He had said something on how [Rem] had managed to fix everything where he failed... Maybe Rem can learn what that was.

Searching onward, Rem departed deeper into YN's memories with the intention of finding out all she could.

Arriving at the next memory, Rem found YN standing in attendance with Subaru and [herself] before the runway of the stage Emilia was set to speak at. Proceeding ahead, Emilia had tried in vain to speak, but the crowd, filled with it's prejudices, denied her from finishing.

Poor Emilia-sama...

Doing his best to hold Subaru back, Rem watched as YN continued to believe in Emilia, despite the barrage of negative comments being spewed at her.

Rem really can tell YN-kun sees the strength in Emilia-sama. She can fully understand and support him being her second.

Continuing to not find the fault YN had in assisting Emilia in regards to herself, she nonetheless would support YN in whatever choice he made. But as she watched on, the crowd quickly became violent, tossing a paper drink cup at Emilia, humiliating her as it stained her elaborate and carefully constructed outfit.

Unable to contain Subaru further, he rushed past YN up onto stage, prompting the shape-shifting beast to appear.

Subaru-kun will be the one captured now, just like YN-kun had planned...

As [Rem] got Emilia to safety, YN was left alone on stage with Subaru. Completely against what Rem had anticipated YN to do, he acted as the beast reached out for Subaru. Pushing him out of the way, YN had managed to save his friend, going against the plan he had tried to steel himself to go through with.

Despite all the words YN-kun had said to [Rem] when it came to justifying ourselves and our sins in this loop, when it comes down to actually doing them, he cannot.

Seeing YN go against what he thought needed to be done, he had in turn done what he knew was right.

As Rem watched her hero act as she would expect, a warmth filled her chest. She wasn't upset at him in the least bit. If YN knew he was to be judged by Rem for this, he'd have fully understood her calling him a hypocrite. But rather—

Rem could not be more proud of YN-kun.

She knew that this was the person YN was.

YN-kun cares for those around him far too much to allow such things to happen.

Rem couldn't not be upset at him, for he was only acting in the same way that was true to himself.

He was only acting in the same way that made her fall for him.

This... this is why YN-kun is Rem's hero.

Watching further, it was Julio who had joined the fray and who in turn saved YN from the impending attack he had prevented Subaru from being subjected to.

Regrouping with [Rem] as Julio and the beast fought, they shared a few quick comments on strategy and the state of their plan. Electing that action should be taken, [Rem] joined in just as Julio was knocked out of the fight. Yet, not having the upper hand, [Rem] was quickly out maneuvered, and found herself about to be smashed by one of the monster's four fists.

YN: Rem!

Seeing YN charge in and push [herself] out of harm's way, Rem could see the shock and despair in her own eyes.

This isn't where it ends though!

Knowing what would come next based on YN's description of the attack, Rem felt the shared, but now muffled sensation of being pushed from behind by Subaru.

Subaru-kun remembers what YN-kun did for him. Had Rem's hero not acted as he would have, she wonders if Subaru-kun would have returned the favor.

In truth, she would have expected him to anyway, but perhaps the timing would have not been as well. Any fraction of a second lost to hesitation would have meant the death of YN.

At the very least, Subaru-kun did not hesitate. Rem attributes that to YN-kun having saved him moments ago.

Watching as Subaru was picked up and scurried away with, Emilia beat the retreating monster with her ice magic. Taking each shard as if it were nothing, the shape-shifting beast began its terrible transformation. With the growth of its wings and its first beats of elevation, Emilia became desperate.

Emilia: No... No, I won't let you!

Conjuring up a large spear and aiming it for the airborne target, it was [Rem] who impaled her morningstar into the floating iceberg, preventing its departure from Emilia. Shocked and stunned by the maid's actions, both her and YN quickly reminded Emilia of why using such an attack was a danger to Subaru.

Watching Emilia argue back, ignoring any logic or points from either of them, Rem could only think back to how she reacted in loops where she had been in Emilia's shoes, powerless to do anything while she watched YN be taken off to lands unknown.

If only [Rem] had known what it felt like, she could in some way sympathize with Emilia-sama here and help her.

Beginning to think it was unlikely either her or YN could get Emilia to take a deep breath and calm down, Rem was once more surprised by her memory counterpart.

[Rem]: Emilia-sama... The advisory we face is formidable. With no way to damage it, and it's shape-shifting abilities, it may be wise if we wait for morning, if only so we may consult with the Great Spirit-sama.

Reminding her of Puck, her contracted spirit, Emilia seemed to settle down as she was given a small beacon of hope to look forward to. With as much as she relied on the little gray cat, [Rem] had used that to her advantage here to calm the half elf down.

Rem is again uncertain if she could have been able to handle the situation as well as [Rem] had. So many times, [she's] been there for YN-kun in ways Rem does not think she herself could have accomplished.

With an unfortunate renewal in her own self doubt, Rem knew the critical moments in this segment of YN's memories were at an end.

Taking what was surely her last bunch of pages, Rem flipped ahead, determined to inform herself as much as she could, if only to help YN.

Finding a memory in the thick of another confrontation with Leo, the very first thing Rem saw a blinding white light.

Having cast his Yang magic to counter magic thrown by Leo, the battle had begun. Trying to concentrate on the altercation, she watched the fighting ensue. As a flurry of ice and Yin crystals flew about, Subaru had tried to fight as well.

Given Leo's skills though, he was quickly taken out, but in doing so had opened himself up to an attack by YN. With what felt like her own mana building up in her non-existent arm, Rem felt the heat pour down into her non-existent hand and become tight with tension. Charging in, YN put an extraordinary amount of strength thanks to his mana into a punch aimed for Leo.

Barely being able to handle it, YN faltered when he tried to go in for more strikes. Being countered, he was caught in a trap of Yin magic.

For YN-kun to suddenly learn how to control the flow of mana in his body to give himself strength—

Such a technique was something only the most skilled warriors eventually learned how to use. Rem knew people like Roswaal or many of the esteemed Knights of Lugunica were familiar with how to utilize it, but for YN to suddenly figure it out—

—Rem is truly impressed.

Coupled with seeing him transfer mana so easily to her in the very first loop, Rem had begun to pay less attention to the memory unfolding before her. After all, the quick paced fighting was hard to follow now that the connection to YN's memories was dwindling.

Yet, snapping her back to, instantly, Rem felt a stabbing pain in her hand. Seeing through his eyes, YN was looking up as a ribbon of red ran down his arm.

Where the pain came in his hand, he held a knife by its blade. Getting more clues as to what was going on, Rem came to the conclusion that it was a slash against [Rem] that he was protecting [her] against.

Breaking apart, more fighting continued. It was still almost too quick for Rem to follow, and to stop and pause now could mean she misses something vital at the very end as her time in his memories would soon conclude.

Even as the connection to YN's memories was now beginning to dwindle, the shared sensation of his hand wound and his mana exhaustion was a heavy burden to bear still with its weakened synchronization.

YN-kun is doing this all for Rem's sake...

While not surprised he would act this way, she was still deeply moved by his dedication to her, even in a loop meant to be thrown away.

Watching on, Rem saw [herself] and YN fail miserably to coordinate their attacks as [Rem] had blocked what could have been a decisive blow for YN. What frustrated Rem more was then how well he worked with Emilia to formulate a counter attack to the position Leo had backed them into.

Again, YN-kun and Emilia-sama fight better together than he does with Rem.

Having come to terms with that though, Rem also remembered how they both had thwarted the shape-shifting monster's attempt at pursuing them.

It was almost like this, wasn't it?

In the wild and almost unfollowable-ness of the fight, YN had his arm held up next to Emilia's, and combining their magics, thwarted a possible killing move played by Leo.

Had it not been for him and Emilia-sama doing this, Rem doubts if YN-kun could have thought up the technique he and Rem used.

Seeing the similarities of what he and Emilia had done versus what he had done with Rem as they escaped Saluzzo by creating a "flash bang" as he called it, Rem knew if it weren't for these types of interactions, they'd have suffered more.

Dwelling on whether she should be thankful for YN's endeavors that showed their own weakness, Rem had let the memory move onward again as the fighting continued to be a blur. Trying her hardest to follow everything that was going on, she struggled until Leo was forced to retreat behind a shroud of Yin magic.

While she couldn't directly feel them, Rem knew alarm bells were going off in YN's mind. Shaking Emilia's concerned hands off him, he leaped over to where [Rem] had moved to retrieve her morningstar. Knowing YN felt something, she was unsure what he had suspected until—

Ga-haa!

Having a fiery pain suddenly erupt in her non-existent abdomen, Rem had felt a pain unlike anything before.

Y— Gah! Y-YN-k-kun...

Even with the dying connection to his memories causing any shared sensation to be more muted and less impactful than they already were in this dream-space, the Yin projectile stabbing into YN was unlike anything Rem had ever felt.

Flying backwards, Rem felt him collide into [Rem] and go tumbling down several floors of the tower, but despite the pain, had moved while falling to prevent himself from crushing [her].

Crashing against the ground floor, Rem felt the wind get knocked right out of her non-existent lungs.

—Aha—!

Feeling like her entire body was on fire, Rem could only see a blurred view of [herself] desperately trying to apply healing magic to YN.

An impact of Minya, even a glancing blow is always fatal... [Rem] knows this and yet...

Desperately, the maid applied her healing magic in vain. Even if she could pour enough mana into the wound to close it, the damage was already done, and YN's fate was sealed. Like a terrible venom, the snake bite could be healed, but the poison is already inside.

Trying his best to comfort her as he could between his own coughs of blood and [Rem's] sobs, YN also did his best to relay what [Rem] needed to do now in order for everything to work out.

Rem does not know if she could handle this happening to her...

Looking into her own azure eyes, she could see the reflection of YN in them, her only glimpse into seeing the one who held her heart looked like as he began to pass.

YN: Rem... I want you to know... that I will always remember what you did for me in this loop. Everything that you did, that you said, all of it. I will hold all of it next to my heart. I won't remember it as something Rem did... No...

With the connection to YN's memories beginning to fade, Rem's consciousness was allowed one final sentence to be heard from him as it drifted back to her own body.

YN: I'll remember it as something [you] did.

Feeling a pain from having laid on her side for too long, akin to a bedsore, Rem roused herself awake on the cold checkered floor of the Beatrice's Forbidden Archive. Reflexively breathing in sharply through her nose, the musty smell of old books filled her scent.

While her instincts told her that maybe she should ask permission from Beatrice to clean in here, her more immediate memories dictated something of higher priority. Turning her body to look at him, another voice echoed in the library as he came into her vision.

Beatrice: Did you find anything in there, I suppose?

Still not fully awake, Rem turned her head lazily to the architect of her ability to observe these memories in the first place.

With no response from Rem, Beatrice clapped her book shut.

Beatrice: Well? Did the younger maid sister find anything she was looking for? You were in there longer than Betty could have predicted.

Gauging by the soreness she felt, Rem knew that had to be the case, but rather than comment on that, she had been asked a question by her superior.

Rem: R-Rem saw only some inconclusive evidence...

Beatrice: Then this entire ordeal was a waste of time then?

Having partly forgotten what she had even told Beatrice to get her to agree with this, she had answered broadly, but had thankfully recalled by her next question.

That's right, Rem is to be looking for clues on the attack.

Rem: That is uncertain at this time... Rem will need to investigate other leads that she may have now.

Beatrice: Betty would only have one suggestion then.

Moving to place YN under her arms, Rem had been ready to disregard what the drill haired girl was about to recommend, given she had no desire to, or any "leads" to investigate after simply satisfying her own curiosity.

Until she was caught off guard by that very same suggestion.

Beatrice: The younger maid sister should refrain from seeking Roswaal's counsel on any of it. Or even involving him in the information you gathered.

Rem: — — —

Giving the spirit a serious look, Rem couldn't imagine not doing that had her intended desire been to earnestly further investigate things.

Beatrice: The same would go for making your elder sister privy to anything as well. Betty knows as well as you do that she tells him everything.

While the closeness of Roswaal to Ram as an information gatherer was no secret to Rem, not telling Roswaal was something deeply troubling, but keeping Nee-sama out of the loop?

Why would Beatrice-sama express such an opinion? She is not foolish enough to expect Rem to actually follow that—

Beatrice: Betty knows you would otherwise reject this method of thought, but she implores you—

Rem: —!

Almost as if she had read her mind, Beatrice continued through Rem's own shock.

Beatrice: If you know anything you feel you shouldn't, breath not a word of it to anyone.

For once feeling an air of sincerity from the spirit for the first time, ever, it was accompanied by an ominous premonition being cloaked on her back as she bent over on her knees to lift YN up. While not agreeing, nor refusing, Rem stood as she princess carried the one who held her heart.

Turning to the spirit, Rem bowed and offered her gratitude.

Rem: Rem must thank you, Great Spirit-sama for allowing her this audience. If you would excuse us now.

Facing the door, the clack of Rem's heels echoed across the tile floor as made her exit. Placing her hand on the doorknob as she continued to hold YN, one final voice sounded before they left.

Beatrice: You would do well to mind what Betty has suggested.

Again, neither agreeing or disagreeing, Rem silently acknowledged the girl, and promptly stepped back out into one of the mansion's upper-most hallway, filled with various dusty, unused rooms. Closing the door with her heel, Rem quickly double checked to make sure Door Crossing had moved the entrance to the Forbidden Library.

Opening it again to reveal an unused guest bedroom, she shut it once more and took two steps away.

Knowing she was completely alone now, Rem's shaking knees could finally give out. Dropping to the ground but doing her best to not shake YN as she did, she could finally let her emotions from the final scene of his memories come to the surface.

With her eyes immediately glassing over with tears, Rem covered her mouth to muffle her auditable sobs.

YN-kun!

Using her other hand, she tightly squeezed his hand, feeling its warmth of life and watching as his chest slowly rose and fell with each breath. As tears silently fell upon her apron, Rem finally gave herself a moment to process not only having seen his death to protect her, but also his words he had left [her] with.

The [Rem] that came before Rem...

Throughout Rem's entire observation of the previous loop, she was again and again been awestruck by how she, or how she viewed it; [Rem], had been such an asset and boon to YN.

More so then Rem thought she herself could be.

In truth, it frustrated her beyond belief that she felt inadequate to this [Rem.] But what continued to stoke that fire of frustration was she also didn't know what to make of it. Was she simply watching herself perform and act different from the pressures of it being a "throwaway" loop? Was it dumb luck? Was it observer bias?

The more she tried to justify or thwart the way she felt, the deeper her questions became, and once she reached a particular one, a feeling unlike Envy, but similar fogged her mind.

Could YN latch his feelings onto a [Rem] that was from a forgone loop?

YN: I'll remember it as something you did.

These words echoed in Rem's mind like a large bell in a house of worship.

Were these words proving Rem's biggest fear, or were they a confession of his appreciation of her? Both of these conclusions could only come to light once Rem had figured out—

Are the [Rems] from before separate or different from the person Rem is now?

Before having experienced this first conscious loop with YN, she viewed them distinctly as "different," after all, they had been the ones to have tortured and killed YN, not her.

Then why does Rem feel guilt for what they did?

Still, the blue haired maid attached their sins to her own soul. With the grief and anguish she had felt upon learning of all she felt she had done to her Hero, it had only been him who could have saved her from the dread that followed.

Yet, at the same time again, Rem looked to her motivation for finding this all out.

When Rem viewed [herself] having memorable and touching moments with YN-kun, she does view that as herself...

Rem knew that deep down, she couldn't have it both ways.

Caressing her hand against YN's sleeping face, Rem wished for only one thing.

Please, YN-kun, Rem's Hero... tell her what to make of this.

Wondering what he may conclude, Rem thought of how he viewed her actions. All of them. Good. Bad. Helpful.

Did he see these [Rems] as all being unique? Or were they all, ultimately whole?

YN-kun did say part of why he treasures our relationship was that it was 'tragic' and that it made us stronger.

Was that not enough support to say he viewed them [all] as just her? Did this necessarily conflict with him saying that he'd remember [her] in specific?

Worried if she should rouse him awake as soon as she could to ask him, her self doubts and feelings were at their limit. Tightly balling her firsts as they held her apron, she wrinkled it with her frustration.

As the beginning of a torrent of tears was sure to fall, Rem could no longer hold them back, or use a hand to muffle her sobs.

Why?! Why must Rem be so—!

?: Please, do not cry over this.

Rem: —?!

Taking in a shallow breath at the voice, Rem raised her head up, looking down the long, dark hallway before her.

She could sense no one else around, and she knew everyone else was asleep this hour. Yet, this voice—

[?]: Rather, thank you, [Rem], for caring so much for YN-kun.

Knowing it was entirely pointless to look about herself for the source, Rem remained looking forward, eyes wide open with her tears still trickling down her soft, round cheeks.

[?]: But you must not burden yourself this way.

— — —

For this voice was not entering through her ears.

[Rem]: —She must. To support YN-kun, as only Rem can.

— — —

This voice, [Rem's] voice, was only in her own head.

Swallowing hard, Rem gently nodded her head to no one other than [herself], letting several drops of tears fall off her chin.

Rem (Whisper): Yes. She promises.

Instantly, all of the doubts—. All of her worries. All of her pain. It all melted away as if these weights were lifted off her shoulders.

She didn't understand it, but the one spec of self-advocacy everyone's consciousness has, had finally occupied her troubled thoughts and spoke out, louder than her self-doubt for a change.

Freed only when YN had unfrozen time for her and brought her back to zero, could this strength be once again felt by her.

For this was the same strength [Rem] had utilized. The strength that had given [her] all the right answers, and perseverance to support YN in his more dire moments. This strength, was also Rem's.

Overjoyed for still more reasons she could not quite understand, Rem wept. Unable to stop the tears with her hands, they kept flowing and flowing. One by one they dripped onto her already cried on, and now wrinkled apron. With her hands taking turns wiping them from her eyes, there was only one other hand that could stop them.

Rem: —?

Confused by the addition of the third hand wiping away her tears, she peered down to its origin. Groggily, he spoke upon seeing her look upon him.

YN: Rem... is something wrong?

Half-awake, YN had halted Rem's tears with a single gesture. With more of his consciousness coming to him, he asked more, concern growing in his voice.

YN: Did something bad happen?

Gently clasping the arm to the hand on her face with both of her hands, Rem smiled warmly at him.

Rem: Not a thing. Nothing bad happened at all.

YN: Then why are you—?

Rem: It's a happy cry. Rem is very, very happy.

Surprised by her answer, YN began to sit back up from where he laid on the floor in front of Rem's lap.

YN: Can I maybe inquire why?

Taking his hand, Rem stood up fully before responding.

Rem: Rem is happy she has her YN-kun, and she is happy [Rem] is able to support him.

Helping him to stand, she hugged him.

Rem: May we go to Rem's room? There is... a lot to discuss.

Hugging the oni back, YN agreed.

YN: Your room for a change? Alright. Lead the way.

Letting her take his hand, he let the blue hair maid lead him away without a second of doubt as he always did, marking their unbreakable trust.

I hope it's nothing bad.

Watching as her beautiful azure hair swayed in the dim light of the night-time moon's glow coming in from a nearby set of windows, he gently shook his own head.

Can't be. Nothing is truly bad at the end of wherever she leads me.