A/N: Hello everyone. I hope we didn't suffer too much last chapter. From here, this is where things will begin to divert more from the Arc 3 you all are probably familiar with. Big thanks again to my beta-readers for finding my mistakes!

Chapter 89: Friendly Quarrel

With Subaru's own death seemingly having occurred at the same time, YN's consciousness spent no time in an inky nothingness, nor in the white expanse he was accustomed to while awaiting an inevitable Return.

Not being given any time to prepare between the flash of white he had seen, and the sense of death that followed with it, his mind was immediately poured back into his body.

Passing over his tongue was the taste of a familiar brew of tea, made by none other than the one who cared so deeply for him, and that quality was reflected in the deep flavors of the warm drink.

However with his current mind not being used to what was going on, the simple sip was quickly swallowed and reflexively, YN began to cough.

YN: *Cough!* *Cough!*

Setting the cup down with a large clang, YN wrestled with the sensation of a Return.

Again with the mid-drink Return?!

But as he readjusted, the other person present reacted first to his outburst, but then to the consequence of a Return.

Rem: Ah! YN-kun? Was the tea still too hot or was—?

Halting her words, the Scent that she knew of lingered heavily all of sudden, when usually it was quite mild on the two of whom she knew were not of this world.

With the Scent so strongly flaring up from nowhere, Rem knew exactly what that had meant.

Rem: — — —

This wasn't the maid's first time dealing with this either at this point. She knew the tell-tale signs of a Return, especially one he was aware of. The very first time it had ever occurred, there had been other outstanding conditions to make the scenario much more complex than it usually was for him. But this time, she could immediately see the dread on his eyes, the pain he had been forced to deal with.

Rem: YN-kun... did a—?

Hearing his name said by the one he wanted to hear it from the most, from the one who he missed the most, YN's vision spun to meet her's instantly.

YN: Rem.

Without a single injury, scrap, blood splatter, or even a hair out of a place on her adorable round face, there she was.

Radiantly, the day's sun shined brightly on her smooth, soft azure hair from the window. Her maid uniform was well kept and free from any tears, stains, or even any wrinkles for that matter. Everything about her was perfect, just as he'd hoped to see again.

YN was back in the Karsten Manor, bored and upset about his stagnant Gate and what that meant. But to see Rem standing before him again, happy, healthy, and alive, was everything he wanted.

As tears welled up in his eyes, Rem approached cautiously, knowing if he had just Returned, he might have experienced an unspeakable anguish.

Bending over to become eye level with him as he sat still, with pools of water forming in his eyes, Rem knew she had to be strong. She had to be supportive, and she had to calm in order to best help YN. Knowing as much as she'd like to baby him, chances are there were now bigger problems and that—

YN: —Rem!

Pulling her in, YN buried his face into her soft chest as he tried to get her as close as he could. Being held so tightly, it had startled the maid, as she hadn't expected YN to react this way upon a Return before. Seeing he was in a great deal of distress through, and that he was most happy to see her of all people again, Rem let him continue, gently running her fingers through the hair on the back of his head as she whispered soft reassurances to him.

Rem: There, there. Your Rem is here to make sure her YN-kun is safe.

Feeling an immense warmth in her body from the fact that she was the first one YN wanted to be comforted by, in a way she also felt guilty as she was finding joy in a situation where it more than likely had been only mere minutes ago YN was in an excruciatingly terrible situation.

With his face buried in her chest though, tears ran directly onto her soft blouse and between her breasts as the one Rem adored the most let out his sorrow.

YN (muffled): I missed you so much Rem, I'm so sorry.

Again feeling a guilty praise for such heavy words being used on her, Rem wished for nothing more than to let YN have a bit of that other feeling she now had that stemmed from being so desired.

Rem: YN-kun does not need to miss his Rem any more, for she is right here, and always will be.

Letting him sob more onto her, Rem knew this would not a good sight should someone walk in, and given she knew they might quickly have to change gears into discussing things that should not be heard by other ears, she helped the one who held her heart stand.

Feeling her come apart, YN grasped on harder, not wishing to leave being surrounded by her presence. Her soft, fair skin, the gentle cloth of her dress, and the faint smell of lavender that always lingered around her was intoxicating to the currently vulnerable YN. If he let go now, there seemed to be a chance he'd lose her for good this time.

But, as carefully as she could manage, Rem skillfully moved her arms under his that were so tightly wrapped around her waist, a feeling she had longed to feel him grab her by, but for now, would need to wait.

Kneeling down to one knee, Rem was now looking slightly back up at him from her height. Using her thumb, she gently wiped away the tears from the eyes that so longingly stared at her, as if she were his most valuable possession.

Rem: Would YN-kun like to move to a guest bedroom? Rem and him may cuddle to his heart's desire until he is ready to speak about what occurred.

Like a small child being given a choice, he nodded to her request. Being led a short distance to a nearby guest room, Rem let YN embrace her in any way he needed, hoping by just her presence alone, she could help heal the wounds left on his heart from the last loop.

For now, Rem will shelve her own guilt, and hope that she did not fail in protecting her YN-kun.

Sitting cross-legged on the bed, Rem and YN faced each other. While they had started more intimately, with YN having his back to Rem while on his side and her arms wrapped around his torso, she gently did her best to surround him as much as she could and provide him as much comfort as possible. Yet as he had gone on to explain what had happened in the fargone loop, Rem had found it difficult to see when a tear of grief ran down his face. Wishing to be the one who would wipe them all away, she had suggested they move to how they were now.

With their knees cap-to-cap, and their heads brow-to-brow, they each gently held one-another's cheek as well. While Rem gently cupped his face with her right hand, YN lightly touched the right half of her face with the back of his hand, feeling her warm skin, a sure sign she was alive.

YN: It was just awful, Rem. I don't ever want to experience that again. I don't ever want to see you like that again...

Rem: Rem is very sorry such a terrible thing happened.

Being honest with the maid though, YN did have to confess one thing to her.

YN: As much as I hate to say though, seeing you go so far for me has left me feeling really... guilty I guess. I know our feelings for each other are strong, but I don't know what I did to deserve such a... devotion.

No, that wasn't the right word. It worked, but it's not what truly described what YN felt. He felt as if a better word existed, but something in his mind kept that word from manifesting, as if his mind was protecting him from delving too hard into thought.

That's a familiar feeling though, like what happened in the cave... and I think when Rem confronted that demi-human lady at the bar in Costuul...

Feeling a brain-fog just over the horizon if he thought too much about it, even in a meta-fashion, he recused his own mind, and focused on the here and now.

While Rem did not know how to respond to YN from what he had said, she however wrestled with her own words, afraid she might say too much.

YN-kun sees it as 'devotion.' While he isn't wrong, it saddens Rem greatly he might not understand what other feelings that devotion stems from... But if Rem were to ever say her true feelings for him, despite everything else that we are, she is sure it might drive a stake between us.

As an unintended, and unforeseen victim of YN's own lapse in memory from his time in the cave, had he recalled the one true thing the madman had said, perhaps an epiphany could have been reached here. Had YN been able to relay the words of the Archbishop that had sent him into a brain fog to Rem, all would have been laid out, bare for them both to see. No longer would their truest feelings for one another be cloaked in their own shortcomings.

But that wasn't the case, and Rem, here and now, would not learn of what should have been obvious to YN in the cave. While he was given the best example, he had still failed to realize just what a "Believer in Love" Rem truly was.

So in her own defense of her own shortcoming, Rem moved the conversation as she could.

Rem: Rem is always ready to do what she must for her YN-kun, no matter what it is. But she must also relay that she, too, also feels guilty.

Caught off guard by her admission, YN correctly guessed half of what it was.

YN: Rem, if you're upset because you feel like you failed, don't be. You did as much as you could, and I would say that you still saved me. I'd have preferred if you hadn't... died, but still! That's more than anything else anyone would have ever done for me!

Laying his heart out for her, it ultimately did little to remove her guilt, a short coming she knew she still had.

Rem: There will never be a good enough excuse for Rem though. She can only be thankful beyond belief that she has been given so many chances to correct her mistakes. While she knows that YN-kun knows this, with the last loop, and all the ones before it... what Rem speaks of now is entirely different. A new reason is to blame on why this guilt makes her heart ache as such.

Saddened to hear her put herself down so hard, at this juncture, YN knew there was little to say to convince her otherwise. But he was just as blind to the answer to it as much as Rem was, and from that, their issue spiraled back to the words they could not say to each other. Trying to help as he could, YN let Rem try and explain what this new guilt was from, and hoped it wasn't a hurdle they could not conquer.

Rem: As selfish as it is... —and Rem is very sorry for that! S-She also does not understand this emotion, but...

Trailing off as she tried to choose the right word to define what she meant, but could not find it, she shook her blue hair.

Rem: What Rem wants to say is, that now that YN-kun knows how terrible the Witch's Cult is, he can better understand how it was when Rem was also a victim of them so very long ago.

Putting a hand to her chest, she spoke as the memories that still haunted her of that night plagued her mind.

Rem: From how it was described, Rem can draw many parallels from that night. But now, Rem is not alone in knowing how awful it is when she is without Nee-sama.

With more and more emotion entering her voice, it reached a fever pitch.

Rem: Even though such terrible things had happened to YN-kun, Rem cannot help but feel—!

Cutting off her words, YN embraced the maid as tightly as he could. He himself could not conjure up a word to describe it either, but he completely understood what Rem felt.

YN: All that matters Rem, is that we're stronger together now.

Her face buried in his shoulder, Rem replied in a muffled way, her voice only reaching the ear it was right next to.

Rem (muffled): Is YN-kun certain that it is alright for Rem to—?!

Exiting the hug, YN placed both hands on her delicate cheeks, and tried to reassure her of her innocence.

YN: There's a thing from my world, it's called Survivors Guilt. I can't say if you have it, or if this is what it is—, you feeling this way, but it's the closest thing I can think of.

Rem: 'Have it?' YN-kun speaks as if it is a condition of some kind...

Trying his best not to worry her more, YN backpedaled slightly.

YN: I don't know all the details myself, I've only read a footnote about it in my educational assignments on my phone... But what I'm getting at Rem—

Moving his hands to her exposed shoulders, he felt her warm, smooth skin under them.

YN: —is that what you feel isn't something bad. If anything, it's a step towards mending the wounds of that night. A lot of people in similar situations have felt the same thing you feel right now.

Tilting his head forward, he let their foreheads once again rest against one another.

YN: My old world has thousands upon thousands of times more people in it then this one, and bad things like that happen everyday just out of there being so many people, and many of those people who had to live through those things have felt what you feel right now.

With a kiss on her forehead, YN patted her silky smooth hair as he finished his point.

YN: You won't be the first person to feel this way, and you won't be the last, so please Rem, don't be sad about any of it. If anything, I'm glad that we're closer because of it. Many terrible things have brought us closer.

Looking up with the beginnings of a sense of relief, Rem built off what YN had finished saying.

Rem: That is what YN-kun has said makes our feelings so strong. We are tragic, and have experienced these things like no one else ever has.

As a warmth built in Rem's chest, so did a determination. A hope she might not have to fear letting her truest of feelings out fluttered about in her chest. If YN also thought they really were as close and strong as Rem did, then surely she could say the words to him.

Rem: YN-kun, Rem—

*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*

With a frantic knock being heard at the door, it took only a single sniff for Rem to know just by the increase in ambient miasma, but announcing himself before Rem could relay that information to YN, he called out.

Subaru (muffled): Oi! YN! We need to talk! Now!

Jigging the locked door handle as if to relay his impatience, Rem frowned at the hastiness.

While it was inevitable Subaru would arrive back as quickly as he could, Rem, and especially YN felt as if their moment for reconciliation after a Return wasn't being respected.

Moving a leg off the bed, Rem stood up faster, beating YN, while she held a hand up before him to halt his path.

Rem: Please, let YN-kun's Rem handle this.

Approaching the door, Rem regained her maidly composure and opened the door only as far as needed to allow her face to be seen.

Rem: Subaru-kun, please excuse Rem, but YN-kun is not feeling well and—

Subaru: I'm sorry Rem but it can't wait. I need to speak to him alone.

Juggling his head around to try and see past her in the doorway, Subaru argued back.

Subaru: Rem-san, please, me and YN need to talk. It's incredibly urgent.

Rem: Rem is not denying what Subaru-kun needs to discuss isn't urgent. But rather that if he is willing to wait only a little while—

Subaru: —Tch! YN!

Reaching above Rem, Subaru had tried to force the door open wider with his hand. And while managing to move the door, it had advanced only a few degrees more on its hinges before Rem moved her shoe to block it from opening any farther with a *clack*, needing to utilize only a fraction of her superior oni strength.

Seeing Rem be defiant, YN understood what for.

Rem only wants our time here to end more peacefully. Which, if I'm being honest, is what I want too...

With what they had said to each other still so fresh in their minds, it felt like an extreme disservice to so suddenly vanquish their moment.

Rem is doing this because she wants what I want. She feels like she needs to prove that right now, with a Return having just occurred...

Upset Rem was denying him, Subaru began to become somewhat frustrated.

Subaru: I don't know whatever this is, but it can wait!

Referring to their own moment of reflection of the traumatic loop as if it were some kind of hollow intimacy, a frustration also grew in YN.

I can't just let him trample on Rem's feelings like this. He might not see it, but I can't just let it happen.

Even though he was not upset that Subaru needed to speak to him, YN's frustration stemmed from someone potentially harming Rem's need to prove herself to him. Which, while she didn't need to in his view, his only saving grace in this moment however was the tiniest amount of humility that what Rem was trying to prevent was the abrupt end of something YN himself wanted.

Getting off the bed, YN grabbed the inside door handle from Rem and opened it farther, showing himself now.

Subaru: YN! We need to go talk. There's a lot to discuss and—

YN: Subaru.

Cutting off his words, Subaru was surprised to hear such a serious tone from YN.

YN: Please, just give us a little more time, I can tell you're upset about... something.

Choosing his words carefully to give the illusion Rem was still not aware of Return By Death. YN's efforts were little in effect of getting Subaru to change his mind.

Subaru: Damn it! Emilia is in danger! That's far more important than—!

Like the last fibers of a rope under tension breaking, YN felt his patience snap.

YN: Can you think of no one but yourself?! Emilia isn't the only one in danger!

Poking his finger hard into Subaru's chest, YN finally raised his voice against him.

But rather than backing down, Subaru clenched his fists and gritted his teeth in his own anger.

Rem: Rem will dismiss herself.

With neither actually objecting to her departure, YN wanted to. After all, that was the opposite of what Rem, or rather by proxy, YN truly wanted here, but keeping up the act that she was unaware of Return By Death took a hard priority. They had already said questionable things in both of their outbursts, so unfortunately, this was a necessity.

Bowing as she left, YN could see a pain in the maid's eye that only flared his anger towards Subaru more.

I can't just let this slide! I have to do something for Rem too! It might be equally as selfish as what Subaru is doing, but I can't put anything before Rem! Not after all she's done for me!

With Rem removed from the guest quarters, Subaru's tone returned to being calmer, hoping that YN had seen some kind of reasoning he believed was obvious.

Exhaling, he explained.

Subaru: YN. In the last loop, I died after coming across the entire village of Arlem wiped out. Everyone was killed. Emilia was nowhere to he found after being robbed, and—

YN: You just don't get it... do you?

As a silence followed YN's cutoff, Subaru's annoyance with his fellow traveling companion returned.

Subaru: 'Me?!' You're the one acting like you don't get it! Emilia is in danger, and so is everyone else at—

YN: They aren't the only ones in danger, Subaru!

Subaru: Clearly! That's why we need to—

YN: —Rem died in my arms! She died painfully, and she died horribly! And there wasn't a damn thing I could do for her!

Taking his shirt collar into his fists, YN shook the wide eyed Subaru, surprised to hear there was, indeed, more aspects to the last loop he had not foreseen, given his self assigned mission to Emilia.

But, doubling down, Subaru bellowed back.

Subaru: And that's why I need your help in—!

YN: Do you think I can just underpin everyone else besides Rem here?! How could I do that to her after all that she did for me in the last loop?! I was forced to see her limbs be broken one by one and then she turned around and gave her dying breath to me.

On the verge of tearful anger, YN dropped Subaru's shirt collar.

Subaru: And that's why we need to cooperate. If we move quickly, we can save Emilia and—

YN: Are you deaf?! It wasn't about helping you or not! Rem died in my arms not even more than an hour ago and you don't even care about how I feel about it! All I wanted was a bit longer to recover, and you couldn't even give us that!

Throwing his arms up, YN bellowed out his argument back.

YN: So why should I be cooperative?! Because if I do, I can't put Rem first. And after everything she's done for me that's inexcusable. If I don't put her first here, no one will.

Subaru: You're just being completely selfish!

YN: Are you saying that if it had been Emilia who was mangled alive in front of you, would you be as cooperative as what you're demanding I be?

Hearing his own argument thrown back at him, Subaru was left without one of his own, and as the silence from his lack of answer grew, so did the anger he felt as well, because he knew deep down, YN was right.

To Subaru, another obstacle to getting the help he needed had arisen from the one person he felt would be essential in reducing the already staggering number of the obstacles he already faced. Like a flint striking steel, a fire of anger was lit.

Pointing at YN and jabbing his own finger forward, he did so with each of the two words he spoke through his teeth.

Subaru: Screw. You.

Turning around, Subaru stormed off, slamming every door in his way as he exited the guests quarters.

YN continued to stand in the doorway, simply staring off until he shook his head.

That was a lot more heated then I wanted that to get.

Alone now, YN pinched the bridge between his brows and exhaled in frustration, his eyes closed. Almost as if on command from that, Rem had reappeared the moment he opened them again. Too upset to be startled from that though, he simply leaned against the door frame.

Rem: Is there any way Rem can be of assistance?

Perhaps unsure how she should approach being helpful in this situation, Rem defaulted to her normal, maidly tone.

But, shaking his head in reply, YN turned down the offer.

YN: I don't think there's anything we can do now.

Putting a hand to her chest, Rem knew not what to do either, and instead felt the need to help inspire YN to find an answer for her.

Rem: Unfortunately, Rem believes it may be time to think about how to face the challenges on the horizon.

With time for reconciliation behind them, YN agreed.

YN: Yeah, we gotta figure out how to deal with those damn Cultists.

Seeing a tinge of anger sprout from YN upon hearing his words, Rem's own psyche seemed comforted by that.

While unlikely he'd ever do so, Rem is glad she will never have to worry about YN-kun being inducted into the Witch's Cult. Not after this experience.

But, being the helpful maid she was, Rem reminded him of other potential problems as well.

Rem: Rem also believes Subaru-kun had said something about Emilia-sama being robbed.

As his mind thought back on the words Subaru had said, YN's memories obliged.

YN: That's right... He did say something like that. Could that be related to the Witch Cult?

Having put a hand to his chin, he sought what Rem thought about it as well. Only able to respond with a shrug unfortunately though, Rem offered her limited opinion.

Rem: It is uncertain, and at the present moment, Rem does not think Subaru-kun will be available to elaborate. But in Rem's experience, the Cult usually does not delve into petty thievery, especially towards targets they abhor.

YN: Then there's a good chance it's unrelated then?

Rem: Yes.

YN: Damn it... That just means there's another piece to the puzzle... What could it be that would make Emilia the target of being robbed again? Her royal selection pendent? The way Subaru reacted, it didn't seem like he had dealt with Elsa...

Unable to come up with any idea, YN shook his head.

YN: I hate to say it, but we might have to pick and choose our battles here. Emilia getting robbed isn't as big of an issue as the entire village of Arlem being massacred.

Rem: Rem must agree. But if Nee-sama was unable to protect it on her own, and if Rem herself also fell to the strength the Cultists presented, perhaps the best solution is to evacuate.

YN: You're saying we should run?

Looking down and grabbing the hem of her dress, Rem's own disappointment was obvious. She wanted the Cultists dead more than anyone else.

Rem: — — —

A difficult expression went across Rem's face. She fully trusted everything YN said, she never would doubt him. And if he told her the situation was unwinnable, she had no choice but to believe him, no matter how much she wished it wasn't true.

Rem: Yes. Keeping everyone alive is our goal. If need be, it allows us to re-group, and fight a more successful battle at a later date.

Choosing the rational conclusion, YN nodded.

YN: Alright. We'll head back immediately. That should give us close to a day before anything happens.

Rem: Rem is not set to feel anything from Nee-sama until tomorrow, correct?

YN: Yes. It was late in the morning of tomorrow when you first felt your connection with Ram fluctuate. She relayed an emotion of losing her cool to you.

Nodding at the agreed understanding, Rem offered her hand to YN, silently saying to follow her. Taking her offered hand, he did.

With no time to waste, Rem led YN down to the stables for the metal vessel capable of great speeds, in hope they could reach the Mansion before the attack and coordinate an evacuation.