Konosuba: Rewind, Retry, RIBBIT!

by Fierce-energies8

When college student Kaito Shirogane takes an unceremonious slip on the ice, he never expects his journey to end in an afterlife waiting room-or to be reborn in the famously chaotic town of Axel. Eager to begin his heroic new life, Kaito signs up for the most "beginner-friendly" quest around: eradicating a few oversized frogs. The rest, as they say, is history.

6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: "A Devilish Deal, A Time-Looped Fate"

Kaito woke up to the familiar sight of his inn room's cracked ceiling. A single droplet of water dangled precariously from a crack above, wobbling, threatening to fall—and, sure enough, with perfect comedic timing, it landed right on his forehead.

He groaned. "Every. Single. Morning."

Rolling onto his side, he coughed as a small puff of dust rose from the mattress. Dusty bed? Check. Leaky ceiling? Check.

At this point, he'd grown used to these minor annoyances. They were just part of the routine.

But today… today was different.

Kaito sat up, rubbing his face as the events of the previous day came rushing back—Vanir's warning, the letter, the looming question of his time loop's origin.

His stomach twisted slightly at the memory.

If the loop lasts too long, it could break reality.

He exhaled sharply, shaking his head. No. Don't overthink it now. He had a plan. He was going to Wiz's shop to meet Vanir. He'd get his answers—whatever price that entailed.

Despite the anxiety curling in his gut, Kaito swung his legs off the bed and stood.

"Alright," he muttered to himself. "Let's do this."

It was time to finally figure out what the hell was going on with him.

Kaito trudged down the stairs, still shaking off the last remnants of sleep. The inn's common area was already filled with the usual morning crowd—adventurers gearing up for their daily quests, some nursing hangovers, others sharing stories from their latest jobs.

His stomach rumbled, reminding him that, as much as he wanted to get straight to Wiz's shop, skipping breakfast was a guaranteed way to make today even worse.

He grabbed a seat at an empty table and waved down the innkeeper for whatever they were serving. A few minutes later, a plate of something vaguely resembling breakfast was set in front of him.

He stared at it.

It stared back.

With a sigh, he picked up his fork. Well, it's edible… probably.

As he took his first bite, a couple of adventurers from a nearby table leaned over, grinning.

"Hey, new guy!" one of them called.

Kaito glanced up, mid-chew. "Mmf?"

The adventurer smirked. "Congrats on your first completed quest!"

Another chuckled. "Yeah, though it's a little unorthodox… I think you might be the only adventurer in history to start a quest and never actually finish it while it's still active."

Kaito blinked, confused for a second—until it hit him.

The frog-hunting quest.

He groaned, rubbing his temples. "Oh my god, I forgot that thing is still active."

One of the adventurers laughed. "You just kinda… never finished it, huh? Guess it's still sitting there, waiting for you to come back and suffer some more."

Kaito slumped forward, head in his hands. "Don't remind me."

Another adventurer slapped him on the back. "*Hey, don't feel bad! Everyone screws up their first quest. You? You just managed to screw up before you even died!"

Kaito exhaled sharply. "Thanks. That helps."

The table burst into laughter, leaving Kaito to sulk over his subpar breakfast.

Fantastic. Even my failures are legendary now.

Kaito finished the last of his breakfast—not exactly satisfying, but it was fuel at least. As he stood up to leave, the adventurers he'd been talking to waved him off with a few parting remarks.

"Try not to start another quest you can't finish, yeah?"

"Or at least die after completing one!"

The table erupted into laughter again as Kaito sighed, shaking his head. "Yeah, yeah, very funny."

He waved back over his shoulder as he stepped outside, feeling the morning air against his face.

Now came the question—should he bring Kazuma and his party along to meet Vanir?

He weighed the pros and cons as he walked.

Pros: Extra muscle if things go sideways. Kazuma has street smarts, Megumin is terrifying with explosions, Darkness is a human shield, and Aqua… well, okay, she's mostly useless, but she might be good for morale.

Cons: Absolutely everything will descend into chaos the second they open their mouths.

Kaito exhaled sharply, dragging a hand down his face. Let's be real, though—things are probably going to fly off the rails no matter what. At least if I bring them, I won't be dealing with it alone.

With that, his decision was made.

He turned on his heel and headed straight for the guild. If he was going to deal with Vanir today, he might as well have backup—even if it came in the form of the most dysfunctional adventuring party in Axel.

---

Kaito walked down the cobblestone streets, his mind already bracing for the inevitable chaos that would unfold once he got inside the guild. He pushed open the heavy wooden doors and stepped into the familiar scene—rowdy adventurers, the scent of cheap ale lingering in the air, and the ever-present background noise of laughter, clanking mugs, and the occasional scuffle.

Before he could take another step, Luna spotted him from behind the counter and called out.

"Oh, Kaito! Good morning!"

Kaito barely had time to nod before she smiled sweetly and—

"By the way, your frog-hunting quest is still active!"

Kaito groaned. "I know, I know, I'll get to it eventually. Can't just drop everything and risk dying to frogs again."

Luna giggled, offering him a knowing look. "Just making sure! You wouldn't want it to stay on your record forever, right?"

He muttered something under his breath and waved her off before making his way deeper into the guild. His eyes scanned the crowded tables, quickly locking onto Kazuma and his merry band of disaster magnets.

Kazuma, as expected, looked miserable—slouched in his chair, eyes half-lidded, sipping on what was probably the strongest coffee the guild had to offer.

Aqua was beside him, talking far too much for this early in the morning.

Darkness was looking unusually alert, her posture straight, her hands resting on the table as if she were waiting for someone to challenge her to a duel.

Megumin was pouting, absently poking at a piece of bread.

Kaito approached, pulled out a chair, and sat down. "Alright, listen up. I'm going to see Vanir today, and I want you guys to come with me."

Kazuma blinked at him, then groaned and leaned further into his chair. "God, it's too early for this. What's in it for us?"

Aqua, however, scoffed, crossing her arms. "Oh please, I still don't even believe you're actually in a time loop! You could just be making all of this up to mess with us!"

Kaito exhaled sharply. "Right. Because I love repeating the same day over and over and getting eaten by frogs."

Darkness, surprisingly, was the only one who seemed immediately on board. "A meeting with a devil, you say? There's always the possibility of combat, of testing our mettle against the forces of darkness…"

Kaito sighed. "I mean, not necessarily, but sure, if that helps you sleep at night."

Megumin, still pouting, leaned forward. "There's no guarantee I'll get to use Explosion, is there?"

"No," Kaito said flatly.

She pouted harder.

Kazuma, rubbing his temple, exhaled slowly. "So, again. What's in it for us?"

Kaito leaned forward, resting his arms on the table. "Well, if my loop is real—and trust me, it is—then that means I already know stuff before it happens. Think about it, Kazuma. If I figure out how to control it, it's basically free intel. We could predict quests, avoid disasters, and, oh I don't know… win big at gambling."

Kazuma perked up immediately. "…You should've led with that."

Aqua gasped. "Kazuma! You can't just exploit a potentially divine phenomenon for money!"

Kazuma deadpanned. "Aqua, if divine things actually worked properly, Kaito wouldn't still be looping."

"…T-That's beside the point!" she huffed.

Kaito smirked, watching as the group mulled it over. "So? You in?"

Kazuma stretched, sighed, and stood. "Fine. But I swear, if Vanir tries any shady business, I'm out."

Aqua groaned but relented. "I guess I'll come. But only because I should be the one to purify you if you're actually cursed!"

Darkness smiled. "A battle with a devil is always an honorable endeavor."

Megumin crossed her arms. "If there's no Explosion, I demand lunch in return."

Kaito pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fine. Let's just go before I regret this."

And with that, the most questionable backup team in the world was assembled.

Kaito and the party stepped out of the guild, the crisp morning air greeting them as they began their trek toward Wiz's shop. The streets of Axel were already bustling with adventurers preparing for quests, merchants setting up their stalls, and the occasional wandering cabbage rolling through town—because of course that was normal here.

Kaito walked with his hands in his pockets, mentally steeling himself for whatever nonsense awaited them at Vanir's shop.

Then—

Ribbit.

Kaito's entire body locked up. His muscles went stiff, his breath hitched, and a cold shudder ran down his spine before he could stop it.

Kazuma, noticing, smirked. "Frog PTSD?"

Kaito exhaled sharply, muttering, "I hate them. I hate them so much."

Aqua giggled, clapping her hands together. "Aww, is Kaito scared of some big slimy widdle frogs?"

Kaito turned to glare at her. "You literally screamed and tried to climb Kazuma the last time we saw one."

Aqua went red. "That was—! I was—! Shut up!"

Darkness, completely missing the actual context, nodded sagely. "Yes… fear of one's adversary is a natural response. To tremble at the thought of battle means you respect the danger."

Kaito gave her a look. "No, I just don't want to be eaten again."

Megumin, ever the instigator, smirked. "Would an Explosion spell make you feel better?"

Kaito groaned. "You just want an excuse to blow something up."

Megumin gasped, pressing a hand to her chest. "How dare you assume such things! I merely—"

Kazuma cut her off. "You absolutely just want to blow something up."

Megumin huffed, but didn't deny it.

Kaito sighed, shaking off the residual tension. "Let's just get to the shop before something stupid happens."

With that, they picked up the pace, hopefully putting as much distance between themselves and any amphibian-related disasters as possible.

As they walked, Kazuma, still sipping from his ever-present cup of probably lukewarm coffee, glanced at Kaito.

"So, just curious—how many loops have you had so far?"

Kaito sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Only two, so far. This is my third run."

Kazuma raised an eyebrow. "Huh. Not as many as I thought."

Kaito shrugged. "Yeah, well, I don't know if I have a checkpoint or if I just keep resetting to the day after I first arrived in Axel. Both times I died, it was on that day, so maybe that's the set point? Like, if I make it past that, I keep going?"

Kazuma hummed in thought. "So if you don't die today, you might actually move forward."

Kaito sighed again, crossing his arms. "Yeah. This is the longest I've been alive so far…" He paused, grimacing. "Which, now that I've said that out loud, leaves a really bad taste in my mouth."

Kazuma snorted. "Yeah, sounds like something straight out of my life."

Aqua, of course, chimed in with zero sympathy. "Well, whose fault is that? Maybe if you were just a little stronger, you wouldn't keep dying!"

Kaito gave her a flat look. "*Yeah, thanks for the advice, Aqua the Useless."

Aqua gasped. "I AM NOT USELESS!"

Kazuma sipped his coffee. "You kind of are."

Aqua whined loudly as Kaito shook his head. "Can we just—"

RIBBIT.

Kaito flinched. Aqua screeched. Darkness looked hopeful.

Kazuma groaned. "For god's sake, just keep walking."

And so, with a mixture of dread, sarcasm, and poorly hidden fear, they continued toward Wiz's shop.

---

Eventually, the group arrived at Wiz's Magic Shop, its signature crooked tower looming over them like something straight out of a witch's fairytale.

Kaito exhaled, staring at the entrance. "Alright. No turning back now."

Kazuma, arms crossed, smirked. "What, nervous?"

Kaito scoffed. "Nervous? No. Wary? Absolutely."

With that, he pushed open the door, the little shop bell jingling overhead as they stepped inside.

Immediately, they noticed Wiz was nowhere to be seen.

Instead, standing at the front, seemingly awaiting their arrival, was none other than Vanir.

The demon's masked face tilted upward, his posture exuding smug amusement.

"Ah! The looped mortal arrives at last!" Vanir spread his arms in mock welcome before shifting his gaze toward Kazuma's party. "And you've brought with you the misfit band of chaos! Truly, a delightful surprise."

Kazuma sighed. "Yeah, yeah, nice to see you too, Vanir."

Meanwhile, Kaito and Kazuma both let their gazes drift toward the numerous potions lining the shop shelves. The labels were, predictably, as ridiculous as ever.

•Insta-Werewolf (Disclaimer: Full moons may apply immediately)

•Cabbagebane Tonic (Guaranteed to repel only cabbages; side effects include mild hallucinations of vegetables speaking in riddles)

•Phantom Limb Elixir (Regrows lost limbs… results may vary)

•Advanced Luck Potion (Not responsible for karmic rebalancing)

Kaito visibly shuddered, remembering the last time he had tried one of Wiz's potions. His stomach still hadn't fully forgiven him.

Kazuma snorted. "*Oh, man, look at this one—'Lover's Misfortune Elixir.' Causes the drinker's crush to hate them for 24 hours? That's just cruel."

Aqua, eyeing the potions, huffed. "I bet none of these even work properly. Wiz's magic is so unreliable."

Megumin, meanwhile, was studying a bottle labeled Explosion Augmenter with very interested eyes.

Darkness sighed wistfully. "If only there were a potion that made you feel pain more intensely…"

Kaito took a slow step away from her. "Why am I not surprised?"

Vanir, ever the showman, clasped his hands together, turning his attention fully back to Kaito. "Now then, my looped mortal, I assume you are finally ready to discuss your predicament?"

Kaito took a breath. "Yeah. That's why I'm here."

Vanir's mask practically gleamed with delight.

"Excellent! Then let us begin!"

Before Vanir could continue, he suddenly clapped his hands together. "*Oh, but where are my manners? Before we get to the oh-so-serious matter of your looping predicament, I nearly forgot—hospitality!"

Kaito blinked. "Uh… what?"

Vanir gestured toward a small table near the counter, where an elegant teapot sat, along with a variety of very bizarre looking pastries and sweets. Some were oddly colored, others were glowing faintly, and at least one was shifting in shape as if deciding what it wanted to be.

"Would any of you care for some tea? Or perhaps one of these delightful treats?" Vanir's tone was smooth, but Kaito could feel the mischief radiating from him.

Kazuma immediately shook his head. "Nope. Not falling for that."

Kaito, also skeptical, crossed his arms. "Yeah, I think I'll pass."

Aqua, however, huffed. "You're both so paranoid! This is a business! Why would he serve bad food to customers?"

Kazuma gave her a flat look. "Do I even have to answer that?"

Ignoring him, Aqua grabbed one of the smaller pastries—a strange, shimmering blue cookie—and popped it into her mouth.

Megumin, always up for a gamble, followed suit, picking up a fluffy purple tart and taking a bite.

Darkness, intrigued, selected a dark red biscuit, chewing thoughtfully.

Kaito braced himself for whatever was about to happen.

At first, nothing seemed wrong.

Then—

Aqua suddenly squeaked.

Everyone turned to look at her.

Aqua's eyes widened in panic as she tried to speak, but all that came out was—

"Eep! Eep eep—"

Her voice had turned into an adorable high-pitched squeak!

Kazuma choked, barely holding back laughter. "Oh my god—"

Megumin, meanwhile, had been about to comment—when she suddenly started glowing bright purple.

Darkness let out a dramatic gasp, clutching her chest. "*Such… such vibrations!"

Kaito blinked rapidly. "What… the hell is happening?"

Vanir, looking way too entertained, sipped from his teacup. "*Oh, delightful! You've all been blessed with temporary magical effects! That blue cookie? A Squeaky Voice Biscuit! The tart? A harmless Luminous Glow Puff! And that red biscuit? Why, that simply enhances one's sensory awareness of pain!"

Darkness shivered in pure euphoria. "*Ahh… this is… wonderful…"

Megumin stared at herself, still glowing faintly. "Wait, does this mean I'll glow in the dark?!"

Kaito rubbed his temples. "You know what? I don't even care. I literally don't have time for this."

Kazuma, wiping a tear from his eye, finally lost it. "Oh my god, Aqua, try saying something serious."

Aqua tried. "*I am a divine—eep! *goddess! You will show me respec—eep eep!"

Kazuma collapsed onto the counter, laughing. "This is the best thing I've ever seen in my life."

Kaito sighed. "*Vanir. The loop. Focus."

Vanir chuckled. "Ah, very well, very well. But surely, we can all agree this was worth the momentary distraction?"

Kaito groaned. "No."

Kazuma, still wheezing, waved a hand. "Yes. Absolutely."

Vanir, finally satisfied with the absurdity he had just inflicted upon them, set his teacup down with a graceful motion. "Very well, very well! Let us now properly discuss the grand mystery of our looped mortal's predicament!"

Kaito, still shaking his head at the utter nonsense happening around him, crossed his arms and exhaled. "Finally. Spill it, Vanir."

Vanir chuckled, tilting his head ever so slightly. "*Oh, my dear mortal, if only it were that simple. You see, the truth is a most delicate thing, and truths that are too easily given are never truly savored."

Kaito groaned. "*For the love of—Vanir, just say it!"

Kazuma, still grinning at Aqua's squeaky voice, finally focused. "Yeah, yeah, enough theatrics. What's the deal with the time loop?"

Vanir let out a dramatic sigh, folding his arms behind his back. "Very well! Here is what I can say…"

The room fell into a quiet tension. Even Aqua—still squeaking—stopped flailing to listen.

Vanir tapped his mask. "*Your loop, dear Kaito, is not some mere twist of fate. No, no, no! It was triggered—or, at the very least, *influenced.*"

Kaito narrowed his eyes. "By who?"

Vanir's grin widened. "Ah, now that is the question, is it not?" He chuckled, pacing slightly. "Someone… associated with the Demon King's forces may have played a role in creating or activating your predicament. Or…"

He paused for effect, his voice taking on an amused lilt.

"Perhaps… there was a glitch in the cosmic order. A botched reincarnation, let's say. A clerical error somewhere in the grand bureaucracy of existence."

Silence.

Kaito stared at him. "…Are you saying the Demon King's people did this to me, or that my reincarnation was so screwed up that it literally broke time?*"

Vanir chuckled again. "Who is to say which is true? The threads of fate are so easily tangled, and your case, dear mortal, is deliciously tangled indeed."

Kazuma groaned. "I knew this was gonna be cryptic nonsense."

Aqua, voice still squeaky, pointed an accusing finger at Vanir. "You know more than you're telling!"

"Of course I do!" Vanir declared proudly. "But information, my dear, is valuable! Would you simply hand over your coin pouch to a merchant without negotiating?"

Kaito gritted his teeth. "So what, you want something before you give me real answers?"

Vanir's eyes gleamed. "Ah, now we are speaking the same language!"

Kazuma rubbed his temples. "Let me guess, a contract?"

Vanir clapped. "Oh, you do understand me so well, dear boy!"

Kaito exhaled slowly. "Alright. What's the price?"

Vanir simply smiled. "Ah, but what is knowledge worth to you?"

Kaito had a very bad feeling about this.

Vanir folded his hands together, his tone as smooth as ever. "Now, let us discuss the terms of our mutually beneficial agreement."

Kaito braced himself. Here we go…

Vanir gestured grandly. "I have recently been working on a new product line—one that requires a touch of marketing flair! And who better than a looped mortal to be my enthusiastic endorser?"

Kaito frowned. "You want me to… advertise your products?"

Vanir grinned. "*Precisely! You shall be my barker, stationed in the town square, drawing in curious customers with your boundless enthusiasm!"

Kaito sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "That's it? That's the catch? Just advertising?"

Kazuma immediately narrowed his eyes. "Hold on. That sounds way too easy. Vanir never offers deals without some kind of insane downside.*"

Vanir dramatically pressed a hand to his chest. "Oh, how wounded I am! To suggest that I, Vanir, Duke of Hell, would ever deceive a fellow entrepreneur!"

Kazuma wasn't buying it for a second. "Yeah, that's exactly why I don't trust it."

Aqua, however, had other ideas. She shot up from her seat, pointing a shaky finger at Vanir. "HOLD IT! This farce has gone on long enough! I, the great and divine Aqua, shall exorcise you once and for all!*"

Kaito groaned. "Aqua, don't—"

But it was too late. Aqua had already begun flailing dramatically, water magic swirling in the air.

"BEGONE, FOUL DEVIL! IN THE NAME OF THE GODDESSES ABOVE, I PURIFY THEE—"

Vanir yawned.

Aqua unleashed her magic—only for Vanir to casually sidestep it, letting the entire blast sail past him and straight into Kaito's face.

WHOOSH!

Kaito was soaked.

He stood there, dripping wet, eye twitching.

Aqua, realizing what just happened, squeaked—literally, thanks to the lingering effects of the cursed pastry.

Kazuma, ever the opportunist, immediately doubled over laughing.

Kaito slowly turned his glare on Aqua.

"…I hate you."

Aqua screeched in panic. "It was an accident! A divine accident!"

Vanir clapped his hands together. "Oh, what joyous entertainment you provide! But let us not lose sight of the matter at hand."

He snapped his fingers, and from seemingly nowhere, a full-body costume popped into existence—and landed right in Kaito's arms.

Kaito looked down.

It was…

A frog costume.

His eye twitched.

He slowly, slowly looked back up at Vanir.

Vanir's grin widened. "Ah, yes! This exquisite garment shall be your attire whilst endorsing my products!"

Silence.

Kaito stared at him, completely deadpan.

"Are you serious?"

Vanir's mask practically shimmered with joy. "Oh, very much so! You see, what better way to entice customers than with a beloved icon of our fair city?"

Kazuma snorted. "*Pffft—yeah, beloved."

Megumin tried so hard to suppress her laughter.

Darkness, somehow, actually thought it was a sign of honor. "Yes… to embrace one's fears and become the very thing that has tormented you… Truly, that is the path of a warrior."

Kaito slowly turned the costume over in his hands. "…I hate this place."

Vanir chuckled. "*Oh, come now! Information never comes cheap! And besides… you shall only need to perform this humble task once."

Kaito narrowed his eyes. "And?"

Vanir tilted his head. "And… you will need to do one more favor for me. But worry not, my dear mortal! We shall cross that bridge when we come to it."

Kaito exhaled slowly. "You're a menace."

Vanir beamed. "I do try."

Kaito looked at Kazuma, who was actively trying not to lose his composure. He then looked at the rest of the party—Megumin giggling, Darkness looking way too inspired, and Aqua still recovering from her botched exorcism.

With the heaviest sigh of his life, he muttered, "Fine. I accept."

Vanir clapped his hands together. "*Marvelous! Now then—shall we get you *suited up?*"

Kaito groaned.

This was going to be a long day.

---

Kaito stood in the alley, staring at his reflection in a shop window.

He had truly, fully lost control of his life.

Dressed in a full-body frog onesie, complete with bulging eyes on the hood and tiny webbed mittens covering his hands, he let out a deep, suffering sigh. In his arms, he held a bundle of Vanir's Miracle Charms, the latest *scam—*err, revolutionary product—that the Duke of Hell was so eager to push onto the gullible masses.

Kaito exhaled sharply, adjusting the hood slightly as Kazuma and the others stood nearby.

Kazuma, for his part, was way too entertained by this. He grinned, arms crossed, leaning casually against the alley wall. "You know, I'm almost sad we didn't make a bet on this. I'd have made a fortune."

Megumin snickered. "*Kaito, you look so adorable."

Darkness nodded sagely. "Yes… to embrace your torment, to wear it proudly—this is truly a warrior's path."

Aqua, who finally got her normal voice back, was openly cackling. "*I'm going to cry! This is too good! The mighty 'looped mortal' is now the Frog of Miracles!"

Kaito, dead inside, rubbed his temples. "I'm seriously considering just running away and letting time reset."

Kazuma smirked. "Yeah? And when you wake up, you'll still owe Vanir a favor."

Kaito scowled. Damn it, he's right.

Vanir, meanwhile, was absolutely thriving. He stepped forward, clapping his hands together. "Ah, magnificent! You wear it so well! The very embodiment of enthusiasm and charm!"

Kaito glared at him. "I hate you."

Vanir grinned wider. "*Oh, but you agreed, dear mortal! And now, the time has come—to sell my wondrous wares!"

Kaito groaned.

As they stepped out of the alley and neared the bustling town square, he could already feel the soul-crushing secondhand embarrassment settling in. People were going to see him like this.

He was going to have to talk to people like this.

Kaito sighed again, already reconsidering all his life choices.

This better be worth it.

Kaito suffered as he walked into the town square, each step heavier than the last.

The moment they emerged from the alley, all eyes immediately locked onto him.

People stopped mid-conversation. Merchants paused their sales. A passing adventurer tripped over their own feet. A small child pointed and laughed.

Kaito felt his soul leave his body.

Vanir, positively gleeful, clapped his hands and gestured to a designated spot near the center of the square. "*Ah, yes! Right here shall be your stage! Now, dear mortal, let us see you shine!"

Kaito sighed, rubbing his temples. This is fine. This is totally fine. Just get through it, get the info, and never think about it again.

He stepped up onto the little platform, the ridiculous frog hood sagging slightly over his forehead.

Kazuma leaned against a post, smirking. "You gonna croak or what?"

Kaito glared at him. "You wanna get stabbed?"

Megumin snickered, while Darkness just nodded approvingly, completely misinterpreting the situation. "Yes… channel that rage. Become the frog in spirit as well as form…"

Aqua, who was visibly vibrating with barely-contained laughter, waved a hand. "C'mon, Kaito! Give it your best! Sell those…" she glanced at the sign Vanir had put up, "…uh, '*Vanir's Miracle Charms'…'"

Kaito sighed again.

Alright. Think. How the hell am I going to attract people to this stupidity?

He glanced around, eyeing the market. Vendors were already calling out their sales—fishmongers boasting about fresh catches, smiths advertising fine weapons, potion sellers hawking their latest concoctions.

And here he was, dressed like a giant frog, holding a basket of mystical trinkets that were probably scams.

Kaito exhaled sharply. Fine. He'd just have to lean into it.

He stepped forward, took a deep breath, and in the most fake-enthusiastic voice he could muster, he made his pitch.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!"

The square quieted, heads turning fully toward him.

Kaito spread his arms, fully committing to the bit.

"Are you tired of misfortune? Feeling unlucky in battle? Want to ward off the horrors of amphibian-related tragedies?"

That got some murmurs. A few people actually looked interested.

Kaito continued, holding up one of the charms. "*Then feast your eyes upon—Vanir's Miracle Charms! Crafted with only the finest demon-approved enchantments, guaranteed to bring luck, fortune, and protection against even the most ridiculous of dangers!"

Kazuma muttered under his breath. "I can't believe this is working."

Aqua sputtered. "This CAN'T be working!"

But it was.

A few people were actually approaching, curiosity piqued.

Kaito internally screamed, but outwardly, he kept his froggy salesman persona intact.

If I have to be a giant frog, I might as well own it.

As more people gathered, curiosity sparked in their eyes, a few even stepping closer to inspect the so-called Vanir's Miracle Charms.

A middle-aged merchant squinted at one of them, turning it over in his hands. "So… what exactly does this do?"

Kaito, now fully embracing his role as The Frog of Fortune, grinned. "Ah, excellent question, my good man!" He lifted a charm high, letting the sunlight glint dramatically off its absolutely useless surface. "This particular charm is said to increase one's wealth! Carry it with you, and before you know it, you'll find yourself striking lucky business deals, unexpected discounts, and coincidental money-making opportunities!"

The merchant hummed in thought, eyeing the charm again.

Another adventurer, a rough-looking man in a dented breastplate, held up a different charm. "What about this one? Does it actually ward off bad luck?"

Kaito nodded sagely. "Absolutely!" He tapped the charm. "This little beauty is designed to deflect misfortune! You ever trip over your own feet in the middle of battle? Ever just barely dodge a fireball but then get hit by falling debris? This will protect you from that!"

The adventurer raised an eyebrow. "That sounds oddly specific."

Kaito crossed his arms. "Buddy, I live in Axel. I've seen things."

A few chuckles rippled through the crowd, and to his surprise, even more people started showing interest.

Then, sensing an opportunity for comedy, Kaito smirked and held up another charm. "And if you really don't believe me, let me present to you the ultimate proof these charms work."

He turned dramatically and gestured toward Darkness and Kazuma.

"Behold!" he announced grandly. "*This woman right here? She used to be a scrawny, weakling noble girl! But after wearing Vanir's Miracle Charms, she became an unstoppable tank of justice!"

Darkness's eyes sparkled. "W-Wait, really?!"

Kaito wasn't done. He spun on his heel, pointing at Kazuma.

"And this guy? He used to be a complete idiot—"

Kazuma immediately scowled. "HEY—"

"—but thanks to the mental clarity charm, look at him now! Still kind of an idiot, but significantly better at life!"

The crowd laughed.

Kazuma glared at him, but even he couldn't completely deny it. "You suck."

Kaito grinned, turning back to the audience. "See? Undeniable proof that Vanir's Miracle Charms work wonders!"

More murmurs of amusement and intrigue spread through the square.

Aqua, however, was steaming. "Why aren't people questioning this?!? This is clearly a scam!!"

Vanir beamed, folding his arms. "Ah, but dear Aqua, our dear mortal here has the rare skill of making nonsense sound almost plausible! And in the world of sales, that is a priceless gift indeed!"

Kaito sighed dramatically, arms spread wide. "It's a curse, really."

And to his absolute horror—

People actually started buying the charms.

After about thirty minutes of relentless sales pitches, exaggerated endorsements, and questionable marketing tactics, Vanir's Miracle Charms were completely sold out.

Kaito stood there, frog onesie still very much on his body, staring at the now-empty basket in his hands.

He had done it.

He had successfully conned an entire town square into buying what was almost certainly useless junk.

And he felt horrible about it.

Sure, it was a necessary evil—he needed Vanir's information, and this was the price he had to pay—but watching people genuinely walk away with their charms, believing in their so-called "miraculous properties," made him feel like he needed to bathe in holy water.

Still, a deal was a deal.

With a sigh, he turned to Vanir, dropping the empty basket at his feet. "Alright. We sold every last one. What now?"

Vanir hummed in satisfaction, reaching down to collect the earnings. He flipped through the pouch of pure, gullible profit, then—to Kaito's surprise—only took a portion of it, setting the rest aside.

"Here you are, dear mortals!" Vanir declared grandly. "Consider this your share of the spoils!"

Kaito blinked. "Wait. Seriously? You're actually giving us money?"

Kazuma, just as stunned, immediately grabbed the pouch, weighing the coins in his hand. "Huh. Not bad… but what's the catch?"

Vanir smirked, his mask practically shining with mischief. "Why, there is no catch! The pure joy of watching our dear Kaito debase himself in that delightful costume was payment enough! Call it… a bonus for the entertainment value!"

Kaito groaned. "I knew this was personal for you."

Megumin, pocketing her share, grinned. "I mean… it was pretty entertaining."

Aqua, still furious about the entire scam, stomped over and pointed an accusatory finger at Vanir. "You're just giving us money?! After deceiving the innocent people of Axel?!"

Vanir shrugged. "Oh, lighten up, dear goddess. Most of those charms do have some magical properties—"

Kaito perked up. "Wait, they're actually enchanted?"

"Oh, absolutely!" Vanir clasped his hands behind his back. "Why, one of them will actually repel cabbages! Another is technically a luck charm—though the effects are wildly inconsistent. Oh, and one is mildly explosive, but let's not dwell on that!"

Kaito pinched the bridge of his nose. Great. So not only did I scam people—I might have accidentally armed them too.

Kazuma, however, was not complaining. "Alright, I can live with that. Free money's free money."

Kaito exhaled and refocused. "Fine. Whatever. Now can you give me more information? And what's the next task?"

Vanir chuckled, tilting his head. "Ah, yes, yes. As per our agreement, a bit more insight…"

He stepped forward, his gaze locking onto Kaito's. "I can see it. There is a faint demonic signature intertwined with your soul…"

Kaito's stomach tightened. "Meaning?"

Vanir's grin widened. "Meaning, dear mortal, that your loop is not merely some cosmic mistake. No…" He let his voice drop, enjoying the tension.

"It suggests collusion. Either a curse, or… something—or someone—among the Demon King's forces was directly involved in triggering your predicament."

Silence.

Kaito felt the words settle over him. A demonic signature? So he wasn't just a cosmic accident—there was intent behind this?

Kazuma crossed his arms, frowning. "That's… actually kind of concerning."

Aqua, suddenly reinvigorated, gasped. "I knew it! I KNEW IT! The Demon King is behind this! We should go SMITE HIM IMMEDIATELY!!"

Kaito shot her a look. "*Yes, because that's totally an option. Just waltz into the Demon King's castle, knock on the door, and politely ask him to undo my time loop. Great plan, Aqua."

Aqua pouted. "You don't have to be sarcastic about it…"

Darkness, still stuck on Vanir's words, grinned excitedly. "*Ah… a battle against a foe who has entwined his very essence with Kaito's fate… how enticing!"

Kaito sighed, shaking his head. "Okay. Fine. So what's my next task?"

Vanir tapped his chin in mock thought, then chuckled. "Oh, don't worry, dear mortal. We'll get to that…" His mask gleamed. "All in good time."

Vanir let the suspense hang in the air, his mask practically glowing with amusement as Kaito and Kazuma stared at him, waiting.

Finally, with a dramatic sigh, he spoke again.

"Oh, it's nothing too complicated, dear mortals! Just a simple fetch quest! You merely need to retrieve a certain item for me and return it to Wiz's shop. That's all!"

Kaito blinked. "Wait… that's it? Just… bring something back?"

Vanir nodded. "Indeed! And as an added bonus, I shall reward you with yet another delicious morsel of information about your predicament!"

Kaito frowned. This feels too easy. "Alright, so what's the catch? Is this thing cursed? Hidden in some godforsaken dungeon? Guarded by an ancient horror that wakes up if you sneeze too loudly?"

Vanir chuckled, waving a hand. "Oh, nothing so dramatic! It's just a small crypt a few miles outside of town—nothing you can't handle!"

Kazuma immediately squinted at him. "Yeah, I don't buy that. What aren't you telling us?"

Vanir tilted his head, clearly entertained. "My, such distrust! If I wanted you dead, dear Kazuma, I'd have done something far more creative by now!"

Kazuma sighed. "Yeah, that's what worries me."

Kaito ran a hand through his hair. "Alright, fine. Crypt, monsters, fetch an item, bring it back. Anything else we need to know before we head out?"

Vanir tapped his chin in thought before smiling. "Hmm… well…" He paused for effect, then shrugged. "Nope!"

Kazuma deadpanned. "That was the most suspicious 'nope' I've ever heard."

Vanir chuckled, patting Kazuma on the shoulder. "*Oh, you worry too much, dear boy! You'll be fine! …Probably."

Kaito groaned, already mentally preparing for whatever fresh hell awaited them.

"Alright. Fine. We'll go."

Vanir clapped his hands together. "Splendid! Then, my dear adventurers, off you go!"

Kaito sighed. Yeah. This is gonna suck.

Just as the group was about to turn and leave, Vanir raised a gloved hand.

"Ah, but before you scurry off like frightened rodents, allow me to provide you with a tiny bit of crucial information…"

Kaito paused, turning back with an exasperated look. "Oh, great. So there was something else."

Vanir chuckled. "Of course! Can't have you running off without even knowing what you're fetching, can I?"

Kazuma muttered, "I feel like you absolutely would have let that happen just to mess with us."

Ignoring him, Vanir gestured with a flourish. "The item in question is a rather lovely little amulet. Old, slightly cursed—"

Aqua immediately gasped. "I KNEW IT!"

"—but nothing too dramatic!" Vanir continued, waving her off. "Let's call it a minor inconvenience rather than a life-threatening affliction, shall we?"

Kaito stared. "You just called a curse a 'minor inconvenience.'"

Vanir nodded, pleased. "Yes, because that is what it is!"

Kazuma sighed heavily. "You have a really messed up definition of 'minor inconvenience.'"

Vanir chuckled. "Oh, please, what's life without a little risk?" He waved a hand. "*But enough chatter! You now know what you seek! Off you go, dear adventurers, and do try not to get horribly mangled!"

And with that, in a flurry of shadow, Vanir vanished.

Kaito stood there for a long moment, staring at the now-empty space where the demon had just been.

Then, slowly, he turned to Kazuma.

"I hate him."

Kazuma sighed, rubbing his temple. "Yeah. Join the club."

Aqua crossed her arms, scowling. "I should have exorcised him when I had the chance…"

Megumin, excited, pumped her fist. "A crypt full of monsters? Sounds like the perfect place to use Explosion!"

Darkness shivered in anticipation. "A cursed amulet, hidden away in a forsaken tomb? Ah… this truly is an adventure!"

Kaito groaned, adjusting the strap on his gear. "Alright, fine. Let's get this over with before Vanir decides to add more terms to our deal."

With that, the most questionable party in all of Axel set off for the crypt, completely and utterly unprepared for whatever fresh nonsense awaited them.

---

As the group made their way toward one of Axel's gates, Kazuma, ever the opportunist, smirked and nudged Kaito.

"So, uh… you're just gonna keep wearing that?"

Kaito blinked, then looked down.

Oh. Right.

He was still wearing the damn frog onesie.

He had been so caught up in Vanir's nonsense, the sales pitch, and the upcoming crypt expedition that he had completely forgotten to take it off.

Kazuma, now grinning, continued. "I gotta say, man, you really pull off the 'walking embarrassment' look. Maybe you should make this your signature adventurer outfit?"

Megumin, barely holding back laughter, nodded. "*Yes, yes! You could be Kaito the Frog Champion!"

Darkness, eyes way too serious, put a hand to her chin. "It would certainly make you recognizable in battle… perhaps even strike fear into the hearts of your enemies…"

Aqua, meanwhile, was already cackling, nearly doubling over. "I can't believe you just forgot you were wearing it! This is the funniest thing I've seen all day!"

Kaito sighed, but he was ready.

He shot Kazuma a smirk and casually said, "Well, I was gonna take it off, but honestly, I think this is still less humiliating than the first two weeks you had in Axel."

Kazuma's laughter died instantly.

Megumin and Darkness immediately turned to him, curious.

"Oh? What happened in your first two weeks, Kazuma?" Megumin asked, smiling innocently.

Darkness nodded. "Yes… do tell."

Kazuma's expression twitched. "…Nothing."

Aqua, delighted by this turn of events, clapped her hands. "Ohhhh, you mean how he got injured by toads? Or how he spent most of his money on alcohol? Or when—"

Kazuma smacked a hand over her mouth. "Nope! Nope! We're not doing this!"

Kaito grinned victoriously, watching Kazuma suffer.

"That's what I thought."

With a renewed sense of satisfaction, he finally took off the frog onesie, stuffing it into his pack.

He had won this round.

After nearly an hour of walking, the complaints began.

Aqua, predictably, was the first to crack. "Uggghhhh, are we there yet?!" she whined, dragging her feet dramatically. "*It feels like we've been walking for hours! My legs are going to fall off! I'm going to die!"

Kazuma sighed. "Good. Maybe if you drop dead, we can carry you the rest of the way in peace."

Aqua gasped, scandalized. "How dare you wish death upon a goddess?!"

Kazuma deadpanned. "Goddesses don't complain this much."

Kaito, who had been checking the rough map Vanir gave him, sighed heavily and rolled his shoulders. "We should be close. Another twenty minutes, maybe less."

Aqua groaned louder, throwing her arms in the air. "TWENTY MORE MINUTES?! I CAN'T TAKE THIS!"

Megumin, clearly entertained, smirked. "You're awfully dramatic for someone who doesn't even carry a pack."

Aqua scowled. "I carry the burden of divinity."

Kazuma scoffed. "You carry the burden of being useless."

Aqua gasped again, tearing up. "Why must you always attack me?!"

Darkness, meanwhile, was walking with a worryingly satisfied look on her face. "Yes… the endurance challenge of a long march… the steady ache in one's muscles… this is but a taste of true hardship…"

Kaito side-eyed her. "You are a very concerning person."

Darkness only smiled fondly.

Kaito exhaled, shaking his head. "Look, we just have to find this crypt, grab the stupid amulet, and leave. Let's just keep moving, alright?"

Aqua dramatically flopped onto the nearest rock. "No. I refuse. Someone carry me."

Kazuma walked past her without stopping. "Absolutely not."

Megumin also ignored her. "We should hurry! I want to see how big this crypt is—"

Darkness, weirdly excited, agreed. "Yes, a forgotten place of the dead… who knows what cursed dangers lurk within?"

Kaito pinched the bridge of his nose. "This whole group is insane."

Aqua, still seated on the rock, glared at them all. "I HOPE YOU ALL GET LOST AND CURSED!"

Kaito sighed again.

This was going to be a long day.

Kaito let out a long, suffering sigh, staring down at Aqua, who was still dramatically seated on the rock like a spoiled noble.

"Aqua, come on. You wouldn't last ten minutes out here alone."

Aqua huffed, crossing her arms. "*Pfft! Shows what you know! I am a goddess! I'd be fine!"

Kaito rubbed his temples. "Really? You? Alone? With no food, no money, and no Kazuma to freeload off of?"

Aqua visibly hesitated, but then straightened up, nose in the air. "I'd manage."

Kaito sighed again. "Just get up."

Aqua smirked. "Carry me."

Kaito blinked.

Kazuma snorted. "Yeah, no. That's not happening."

Aqua's smirk didn't falter. "I'm not moving unless someone carries me."

Kaito stared at her, then threw his hands up. "Fine! You know what? I did everything I could do. Let's go, guys."

With that, he turned and started walking.

Megumin followed immediately, humming to herself.

Darkness gave Aqua one last glance, almost as if considering actually carrying her, but then ultimately walked on.

Kazuma? He just casually strolled past her, not even sparing her a second glance.

Within seconds, Aqua was alone.

For a moment, she maintained her haughty posture, arms crossed, eyes closed.

"Hmph! Whatever! I don't need them!" she said to absolutely no one.

She sat there, basking in her self-proclaimed victory.

And then…

A twig snapped somewhere behind her.

Aqua froze.

The air was silent.

Another rustling noise.

Aqua swallowed. "…Heh. N-nothing to worry about! It's just the wind! Yes! The wind!"

A tiny, completely harmless, utterly non-threatening field mouse scurried out from the grass.

Aqua's entire soul left her body.

"KYAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!"

Like a bat out of hell, she screamed and sprinted in the direction the others had gone.

She ran for her life, arms flailing, tears in her eyes, pure terror on her face.

And just as she burst through the bushes—

She froze again.

Because standing right there, waiting, were Kaito, Kazuma, Megumin, and Darkness.

Watching.

Waiting.

Smirking.

Aqua's horrified expression melted into betrayal as she pointed a trembling finger at them. "YOU—YOU NEVER LEFT?!?"

Kazuma casually stretched, looking way too satisfied. "Nope. Just wanted to see how long you'd last before you cracked."

Kaito grinned, crossing his arms. "Not very long, turns out."

Megumin was snickering behind her staff.

Darkness nodded approvingly. "A good test of one's courage. You lasted longer than I expected, Aqua. Barely."

Aqua's face burned red, a mix of humiliation and rage.

"I HATE ALL OF YOU!!"

Kazuma sighed. "Yeah, yeah. Let's go, goddess of cowards."

As Aqua continued sputtering and yelling, the group resumed their journey, Kaito smirking the entire way.

Best five minutes of the whole trip.

---

After twenty more minutes of walking (and Aqua still muttering under her breath about "cruel, heartless companions"), the group finally arrived at their destination.

A small, weathered crypt sat nestled between two rocky outcroppings, its stone entrance partially overgrown with moss and vines. The air was cooler here, and there was a distinct musty scent lingering in the air.

Kaito exhaled, staring at the clearly ominous structure in front of them.

"Alright. There it is. Let's get this over with."

Megumin grinned, adjusting her hat. "This place definitely has evil lair energy."

Darkness nodded, her eyes practically sparkling. "A forgotten tomb, a sealed crypt, a place where monsters lurk in the darkness…" She shivered in delight. "*This… this is truly magnificent…"

Kaito stared at her. "You are so unbelievably weird."

Kazuma sighed, adjusting his gear. "At least it's quiet. No bandits, no monsters running around outside, no immediate death traps. I'll take that as a good sign."

Aqua huffed, placing her hands on her hips. "Hmph! You're all acting scared for no reason! It's just an old crypt! Nothing to be afraid of! No need for caution whatsoever!"

The second she said that, a low, deep groaning noise echoed from within the crypt—

Aqua immediately shrieked and jumped behind Kazuma.

Kazuma glared. "OH, SO NOW YOU'RE WORRIED?!"

Kaito pinched the bridge of his nose. "For once in your life, can you not immediately trigger something?"

Megumin gripped her staff, excited. "Ooooh, something's in there!"

Darkness grinned, stepping forward eagerly. "Then we must press on!"

Kaito sighed. Of course, it wasn't going to be easy.

"Alright, weapons out, stay alert, and if anything tries to kill us, we kill it first."

Kazuma deadpanned. "Yeah. Because that strategy has always gone so well for us."

Aqua was still clinging to his back. "Do we have to go inside?"

Kaito groaned. "Yes, Aqua. Because if we don't, I stay stuck in this time loop, and you stay stuck with us. Forever."

Aqua blinked, then visibly paled.

"Okay, yeah, let's go inside."

And with that, the group descended into the crypt, completely unprepared for whatever horrors (or stupidity) awaited them inside.

The deeper the group moved into the crypt, the more uneasy Kaito felt.

It wasn't anything specific—just that vague, creeping sensation that something was off.

Which, given their track record, was never a good sign.

Despite the ominous groaning they had heard earlier, everything seemed fine so far. The air was damp and heavy with the scent of old stone and decay, but there weren't any obvious death traps or bloodthirsty monsters lurking in the shadows.

Just silence.

Aqua, emboldened by the lack of immediate danger, huffed. "See? I told you! There's nothing in here! You all got worked up over—"

Something moved in the darkness.

Aqua froze mid-sentence.

A scratching sound echoed from further ahead.

Then came the squeaking.

Not the menacing, deep growls of some horrifying undead monstrosity.

Not the guttural, hunger-filled moans of vengeful spirits.

No.

This was high-pitched squeaking.

And then—they appeared.

A group of skeletons shuffled into view from the next corridor. Their empty sockets glowed faintly, and their bones rattled softly with each movement.

But that wasn't the weird part.

The weird part was the sound.

They were squeaking.

Like rubber toys.

Kazuma stared. "Are those—"

One of the skeletons took a step forward. SQUEAK.

Kaito blinked. "What the hell—"

Another skeleton turned its head toward them. SQUEAK-SQUEAK.

Aqua let out a horrified gasp. "W-why are they making that noise?!"

Megumin, utterly fascinated, stepped closer. "Ooooh! This is amazing! I've never seen squeaky skeletons before!"

Darkness, glowing with excitement, placed a hand over her heart. "How tragic. These fallen warriors have been reduced to such an undignified state…"

Kazuma pinched the bridge of his nose. "Only we could walk into a cursed crypt and find this."

Kaito, still processing the utter stupidity in front of him, exhaled.

"You know what? I don't even care anymore."

And with that, the battle against the squeaky skeletons began.

Kaito lunged at one of the squeaky skeletons, gripping his sad excuse for a dagger, and drove the blade into its ribcage—

SQUEAK.

The skeleton barely reacted.

Kaito stared.

The skeleton stared back.

Then, as if mocking him, it tilted its skull slightly—

SQUEAK.

Kaito gritted his teeth. "Oh, come on!"

The dagger had barely done anything. Sure, it had lodged between a few ribs, but these things were clearly more durable than expected.

And his pathetic weapon wasn't cutting it.

"I really need to upgrade my equipment…" he muttered, yanking the dagger back out.

The skeleton, now officially done with his nonsense, swung at his head.

Kaito barely ducked in time.

Aqua screamed and bolted behind Kazuma. "K-Kazuma, DO SOMETHING!!"

Kazuma, struggling with his own skeleton opponent, growled, "DO WHAT?! These things are tougher than they look!"

Megumin, positively thrilled, raised her staff. "Just say the word, and I'll blow them away!"

Kazuma's entire body stiffened.

He turned to her, horrified. "ARE YOU INSANE?! If you use Explosion in here, the whole crypt will collapse on us!"

Megumin blinked, as if just now realizing that might be a problem.

"…Oh."

Kazuma threw his hands in the air. "YEAH. 'OH.'"

Kaito dodged another swing, exhaling sharply. "Less arguing, more killing!"

And with that, the most ridiculous battle in history continued.

Megumin, realizing Explosion was off the table, turned to Darkness.

"Darkness! The others need help!"

But as she actually looked at Darkness—she immediately regretted asking.

Darkness was deep in battle, surrounded by three squeaky skeletons, each one swinging away at her with bony fists and rusted weapons.

And she was tanking every single hit like it was the best day of her life.

SQUEAK.

Darkness shuddered.

SQUEAK-SQUEAK.

Darkness bit her lip.

SQUEAK-SQUEAK-SQUEAK.

Darkness full-on moaned.

Megumin's entire soul left her body.

"…I think she's fine."

Meanwhile, Kaito was not fine.

He was still dodging clumsily, his pathetic dagger doing nothing as the skeleton he attacked relentlessly went after him.

Kaito jumped back to avoid another swing, tripped over a loose stone, and barely rolled out of the way before the skeleton slammed its rusted sword down where his head had been.

Breathing heavily, he scrambled to his feet. "HOW ARE YOU STILL GOING?!"

The skeleton slowly turned its head toward him—

SQUEAK.

Kaito's eye twitched.

"I HATE THIS PLACE."

And the battle raged on.

Kaito dodged again, barely managing to avoid another rusted sword swing.

His pathetic excuse for a dagger had done nothing to these things. At this rate, he'd be chased around this stupid crypt forever, squeaky skeletons relentlessly pursuing him like some sort of undead slapstick horror show.

He needed a plan.

Something smart.

Something effective.

Something that wouldn't involve him dying and resetting the whole damn day again.

And then—an idea hit him.

Kaito grinned.

"Alright, you bone-rattling freaks, let's see how you like THIS!"

He suddenly turned and ran—but not out of panic. This time, it was on purpose.

Kazuma, still struggling with his own skeleton, shouted after him. "WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GOING?!"

Kaito ignored him, sprinting straight toward the most chaotic factor in this entire fight—

Darkness.

Still gleefully tanking hits, Darkness had at least three skeletons surrounding her, attacking her nonstop.

And Kaito?

He was about to add more.

Just as his squeaky skeleton pursuer swung at him again, Kaito ducked at the last second and rolled forward—

Right past Darkness.

The skeleton overswung, completely missing Kaito—

—And slammed its weapon directly into Darkness instead.

SQUEAK!

Darkness gasped. "Ah—?!"

Another skeleton turned toward her. SQUEAK?

Darkness shuddered. "Y-you… you all wish to strike me down at once?"

A third skeleton—also confused but apparently up for it— raised its weapon. SQUEAK!

Darkness's entire face turned red. "Oh my… w-well, if you insist… I suppose I can endure your punishment…"

Kazuma watched all of this happen and slowly turned back to Kaito.

"Did you… just use Darkness as aggro bait?"

Kaito, still catching his breath, grinned triumphantly. "Yup."

Megumin stared. "That's… actually kind of brilliant."

Aqua, horrified, clutched her staff. "YOU CAN'T JUST SACRIFICE YOUR ALLIES LIKE THAT!"

Darkness, practically vibrating with excitement, turned toward Kaito. "You… you clever strategist… You knew I would take the brunt of the attack and save you from harm…!"

Kaito, still smug, nodded. "Exactly."

Darkness smiled dreamily. "Such a cruel and tactical mind… to throw a comrade into suffering for the sake of victory…"

Kaito frowned. "…That's not exactly how I'd put it—"

"I love it!" Darkness declared, eagerly standing her ground as now five skeletons surrounded her.

Kaito, finally free of his own pursuer, turned to the others. "Alright, problem solved. Now let's take these things out while they're distracted!"

Kazuma, still watching Darkness in pure disbelief, muttered, "We are the worst adventurers in history."

And with that, the tide of battle shifted.

Kazuma quickly scanned the area, eyes darting across the damp, dimly lit crypt, searching for anything Kaito could use to replace his pitiful dagger.

And then—he saw it.

A decent-sized boulder, semi-heavy, sitting near one of the cracked pillars.

Not ideal.

But way better than Kaito's useless blade.

Without hesitation, he grabbed it and hurled it toward Kaito.

"Here, use this!"

Kaito barely had time to process what was happening before he had to catch a literal rock flying at him.

"WHAT THE HELL, KAZUMA?!"

Kazuma shrugged. "You needed a better weapon! That thing's got some weight—just bash their skulls in!"

Kaito gritted his teeth. "Oh, because THAT'S so much more elegant than a dagger."

Still, he gave the boulder a test swing, feeling the weight shift in his grip.

…It wasn't bad. A little awkward, sure, but definitely better than what he was working with before.

Kazuma drew his own dagger—a much better-quality blade than the piece of garbage Kaito had been given—and nodded.

"Let's take these things out while Darkness keeps them busy."

Kaito smirked. "Sounds like a plan."

With a burst of momentum, the two charged in.

Kaito locked onto the nearest skeleton, the one that had been relentlessly chasing him earlier, and swung the boulder like a war hammer—

CRACK!

The impact sent the skeleton staggering backward, its skull rattling violently.

It barely had time to recover before Kaito swung again—

This time, directly into its head.

SMASH.

The skull shattered instantly, bones collapsing into a pile of useless debris.

Kazuma, taking advantage of the distraction, sidestepped another skeleton's attack and drove his dagger into its neck, swiftly separating its head from its body.

Megumin, watching all this unfold, clapped her hands together excitedly.

"Ooooh! Brutal! I love it!"

Aqua, horrified, looked like she was going to be sick. "THAT'S NOT HOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DEFEAT THE UNDEAD! YOU'RE JUST—JUST—"

Kazuma rolled his eyes as he stabbed another skeleton through the ribcage.

"Aqua, if you're not gonna help, shut up and let us handle it."

Kaito, fully in the zone now, swung the boulder at another skeleton's legs, shattering them completely and sending it crashing to the ground.

"Yeah, Princess Purification, unless you wanna start actually doing your job—" Kaito raised the boulder again—

SMASH.

"—let us handle this."

The battle had completely turned in their favor.

With one final swing, Kaito brought the boulder down on the last skeleton's skull—

SMASH.

The bones cracked, splintered, and collapsed into a lifeless heap, the squeaky sound finally silenced.

At the same time, Kazuma swiftly decapitated another, its skull popping off like a cork before bouncing twice on the stone floor with a muted squeak.

And just like that—

The battle was over.

Kaito exhaled, rolling his shoulders as he dropped the now slightly chipped boulder. His arms ached from using it as a makeshift weapon, but considering how pathetic his original dagger was, he had no regrets.

Kazuma wiped his blade clean, surveying the crypt to make sure there weren't any stragglers.

Silence.

Nothing else squeaked.

It was finally done.

Kazuma sighed in relief. "Alright. That was dumb. But at least we didn't die."

Kaito nodded. "Yeah, I was really worried I'd end up having to do this whole fight again."

Megumin beamed. "See? You didn't even need Explosion!"

Kazuma muttered, "Yeah, but it still would've been nice to use you for something."

Megumin ignored him.

Meanwhile, Aqua sat on the floor, looking traumatized. "T-that… that was horrible…"

Kazuma groaned. "Oh, shut up, Aqua."

Ignoring her comedic sulking, he turned to Darkness—who was still standing, breathing heavily, and very much glowing from the nonstop damage she had taken.

Kazuma sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Darkness… can you keep going, or do we need to take a break?"

Darkness slowly turned to him, her face red, her breathing uneven.

"…I am more than ready to continue."

Kaito, concerned, squinted. "Are you sure?"

Darkness nodded, determined.

"Yes. I am… completely fine."

Her legs shook slightly.

Megumin frowned. "You don't look fine."

Darkness straightened, clearly trying to hide how much damage she had taken—

Which was useless because every single person in the room knew exactly what was going on.

Kazuma exhaled. "*You're way too into this."

Darkness beamed.

Kaito shook his head, sighing heavily. "Alright. Fine. Let's move on before another wave of dumb skeletons shows up."

And with that, the party pushed deeper into the crypt, unknowingly heading straight into more chaos.

As the group moved further into the crypt, the air grew staler, the stone walls narrowing as they pressed on.

And then, finally, they saw it.

At the end of the chamber, resting atop a crumbling pedestal, was a small, ornate amulet.

That was it.

Kaito narrowed his eyes.

"This… feels way too easy."

Kazuma crossed his arms, clearly suspicious. "Yeah… where's the catch?"

Darkness, unconcerned, placed a hand on her hip. "Perhaps this trial is only meant for those brave enough to enter."

Megumin tilted her head. "Or maybe Vanir just made it sound more dangerous than it actually is?"

Aqua, who had had enough of this crypt, stepped forward with an annoyed huff.

"Who cares?! Let's just grab it and leave already!"

Kaito's eyes widened. "Aqua, wait—!"

Too late.

The second her foot landed on the ground, she felt a slight sink beneath her heel—

A pressure switch.

Click.

Aqua barely had time to register the sensation before—

FWIP!

An arrow shot out from a hidden slot in the wall—aimed directly at her head.

Aqua screamed.

Kazuma reacted instantly, grabbing her collar and yanking her backward just as the arrow whizzed past her face, embedding itself into the opposite wall with a sharp thunk.

Aqua collapsed into a heap, hyperventilating.

Kazuma stared at her.

Then sighed heavily.

"YOU ALMOST JUST DIED. AGAIN."

Aqua wheeze-cried. "W-WHAT KIND OF PLACE JUST HAS ARROWS FLYING OUT OF NOWHERE?!?"

Kaito rubbed his temples. "A crypt, Aqua. A crypt with traps. Because people don't just leave valuable cursed amulets lying around unprotected."

Megumin nodded in understanding. "Ooooh, classic dungeon design! I wonder what other traps are here…?"

Darkness, clearly excited, stepped forward. "Ah… a corridor lined with traps, forcing one to advance with the constant threat of pain and suffering… truly exquisite…"

Kazuma groaned. "Yeah, okay, we are NOT testing traps just for fun, you lunatic."

Aqua, still pale, clutched Kazuma's arm. "K-Kazuma… I was almost killed…"

Kazuma rolled his eyes. "Yeah. Welcome to my world."

Kaito, taking a deep breath, steeled himself.

"Alright. From now on, we don't just step forward like idiots. We take our time and look for more traps."

Kazuma nodded. "Agreed."

Aqua sniffled. "I hate this place…"

With renewed caution, the group slowly advanced toward the amulet—fully aware that the real danger was probably just beginning.

The group stepped forward carefully, taking slow, deliberate steps, eyes scanning the floor for anything suspicious.

So far… so good.

Nothing was happening.

No arrows. No pits. No sudden collapse of the ceiling.

It actually looked like they were going to make it to the amulet without incident.

Kaito exhaled, relieved. "Alright… we're actually doing this right for once. Just keep going slow and—"

CLICK.

Everyone froze.

The sound came from behind him.

Slowly, dreading what he was about to see, Kaito turned his head—

And there she was.

Darkness.

Standing directly on a pressure plate.

Eyes wide, lips parted slightly, as if she had just realized what she had done.

Kaito's stomach dropped.

"…Darkness."

Darkness blinked at him. "Oh? Did I step on something?"

Kazuma looked like he wanted to scream. "YES, YOU STEPPED ON SOMETHING, YOU ABSOLUTE MANIAC!"

Aqua gasped dramatically. "SHE DOOMED US!!"

Megumin, excited, leaned forward. "Ooooh! What's gonna happen?!"

Kaito tensed, waiting.

And then—

RUMBLE.

The walls shuddered.

A deep, mechanical grinding noise echoed through the chamber.

And then, from the ceiling, large stone slabs began to descend—

Slowly.

Steadily.

The room was shrinking.

Kaito's eye twitched.

"…Oh, come on."

As soon as the walls started closing in, Aqua lost it.

She flailed her arms, screaming in pure panic.

"WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIIIIIIIIIE!"

Kaito gritted his teeth, watching the ceiling slowly descend, stone grinding against stone.

Kazuma pinched the bridge of his nose, visibly irritated.

"Aqua, SHUT UP! I need to THINK!"

Aqua grabbed his shoulders and shook him. "THINK FASTER! I REFUSE TO DIE IN A FILTHY CAVE!"

Kazuma shoved her off. "We're NOT dying! Just let me—"

RUMBLE.

The ceiling sank lower.

Megumin tilted her head, intrigued. "Hmmm. If the room shrinks too much, won't our bones be crushed? I wonder if it'll be instant or really slow and painful…"

Aqua whimpered. "I—I don't want to be squished!"

Darkness, blissfully unbothered, sighed dreamily. "Ah… the inescapable embrace of an ancient tomb… slowly pressing against one's body, constricting movement, suffocating breath…"

Kaito whipped around to glare at her. "WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?!"

Kazuma ignored them all, furiously thinking.

Alright. Traps don't just activate—they have reset mechanisms. Maybe another pressure plate? A hidden switch?

Kaito, reading his expression, turned toward the walls, scanning for anything out of place.

"If there's a trap, there's gotta be a way to stop it!"

Kazuma nodded. "Exactly. We just have to find it before we get squashed like bugs!"

Aqua sobbed. "I DON'T WANNA BE A BUG!"

Kazuma took a deep breath, clenching his fists.

"Alright! Everyone start looking!"

The countdown to survival had begun.

The group immediately sprang into action, frantically searching for anything—anything—that could stop the trap.

Kaito scanned the walls, looking for cracks, hidden panels, strange markings—anything that looked remotely like a switch.

Kazuma, on his hands and knees, ran his fingers along the floor, hoping for another pressure plate that would reverse it.

Megumin knocked on the walls, listening for hollow spots.

Aqua was uselessly slapping the stone with her hands, wailing.

"IT'S ALL STONE! THERE'S NOTHING HERE! WE'RE DOOMED!"

Kazuma glared at her. "STOP FREAKING OUT AND LOOK!"

"I AM LOOKING! I'M LOOKING AT MY IMPENDING DEATH!"

Darkness, completely unfazed, brushed her hand along the descending ceiling, marveling at the weight pressing down.

"It's… magnificent…" she whispered in awe.

Kaito snapped his head toward her. "THIS ISN'T A POETIC MOMENT, IT'S A DEATH TRAP!"

Kazuma gritted his teeth. "Come on, come on—there's gotta be something!"

The ceiling dropped another foot.

The grinding stone noise grew louder.

Aqua let out a long, dramatic wail.

"WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?! I'M A GODDESS! I DESERVE TO BE WORSHIPED, NOT CRUSHED LIKE A FILTHY COMMONER!"

Megumin groaned. "Aqua, shut up!"

Aqua sniffled. "I can't! I'm too stressed!"

Kaito, pressing his hands against the wall, suddenly felt something shift slightly under his palm.

His eyes widened.

"GUYS! I THINK I FOUND SOMETHING!"

Kazuma immediately ran over. "WHAT?! WHERE?!"

Kaito pointed at a slightly recessed stone in the wall. "It moved when I pushed on it! Maybe it's—"

Aqua, wild-eyed, lunged forward.

"LET ME DO IT!"

Before anyone could stop her, she slammed her hands against the switch—

CLICK.

For a moment, nothing happened.

Then—

The ceiling stopped.

The grinding noise ceased.

The room fell silent.

The group froze, breathless.

Aqua slowly opened her eyes, her hands still pressed against the switch.

"…D-did I do it?" she whispered.

Kazuma stared. "Holy crap. It actually worked."

Megumin sighed in relief. "That was close…"

Darkness pouted. "Awww… I was kind of hoping to see how long we could last…"

Kaito, still catching his breath, leaned against the wall.

"Okay… can we all agree… to NOT step on any more traps?"

Everyone turned to Darkness.

Darkness blinked innocently. "…What?"

Kazuma sighed heavily.

"Let's just get the damn amulet and get out of here."

As the group carefully moved forward, the amulet now only twenty feet away, Kaito allowed himself a tiny sliver of hope.

We're almost there… just a little more… no more screw-ups…

And then—

CLICK.

Kaito's soul left his body.

He whipped his head around, eyes filled with dread, and saw Megumin standing stiffly, one foot planted firmly on a slightly sunken pressure plate.

For a single, agonizing second, nobody moved.

Nobody breathed.

Then—

RUMBLE.

Before anyone could react, the floor beneath Kaito and Kazuma collapsed.

Both of them plunged straight down, disappearing into the darkness below.

"AHHHHHHHH!"

"NOT AGAIN—!"

THUD.

Silence.

Up above, Megumin slowly lifted her foot off the pressure plate and winced.

Aqua gasped, hands over her mouth. "OH NO, THEY'RE DEAD!"

Darkness, peering into the hole, shook her head. "No… I can hear them groaning. They survived."

Megumin, sweating, called down, "Uh… you guys okay?"

Down below, Kaito lay sprawled on his back, staring at the stone ceiling. He could already feel bruises forming from the impact.

Beside him, Kazuma groaned.

"Ow. Ow. Everything hurts. Ow."

Kaito, still disoriented, lifted his head. "Kazuma… you good?"

Kazuma slowly rolled onto his side, letting out a long, suffering sigh.

"…No. No, I am not good. I just fell into a hole. AGAIN."

Kaito rubbed his face. "Yeah… yeah, same."

Megumin's voice called down again. "Sooo… you guys see a way out? Or should we start praying?"

Kaito sighed, already dreading whatever was waiting for them down here.

Kaito sat up, joints groaning in protest as he looked around the dim space. The fall hadn't been too far—just enough to hurt his pride and bruise his ass.

He reached out, hands brushing along cold stone. Walls on every side.

"A pit," he muttered, more to himself than anyone else. "We're in a pit."

Kazuma groaned beside him, still rubbing his head. "Well, that's better than a spike trap. Or lava. Or, you know, death."

Kaito nodded. "Yeah. Honestly, could've been way worse."

They both sat there for a moment in the silence.

Until Kazuma froze.

"…Wait a sec."

Kaito glanced over. "What?"

Kazuma's hand had landed on something… soft. Fuzzy. Slightly damp.

"…There's something in here with us."

Kaito blinked. "Come again?"

Kazuma didn't answer. He reached a little further and touched it again. It squeaked.

Then another squeak.

Then ten.

Suddenly, a chorus of high-pitched squeals and wet, squelching noises filled the pit.

Kaito's blood ran cold. "Oh, no. No. No no no—"

Dozens of tiny eyes reflected the dim torchlight above.

A swarm of small, damp, gelatinous creatures began crawling toward them.

"…Are those baby slimes?" Kaito whispered, voice rising with panic.

Kazuma stared at them, wide-eyed. "WHY ARE THERE BABY SLIMES IN A HOLE?!"

Up above, Aqua peered down. "Oh, those! That's a slime nursery pit! I read about those!"

Kaito shot upward, hands gripping the edge of the pit wall. "AND YOU'RE JUST NOW MENTIONING THIS?!"

The baby slimes gurgled.

One of them bounced.

Kazuma screamed.

"MEGUMIN, GET A ROPE OR A LADDER OR JUST—EXPLODE US OUT OF HERE, I DON'T CARE!"

Megumin called back cheerily, "If I use Explosion, you'll die! Probably!"

Kaito slapped his forehead. "We are going to be eaten by squeaky skeletons' gelatinous children in a pit beneath a cursed crypt. This is how I die. Again."

Kazuma was already climbing Kaito to get higher. "*Shut up and lift me, I am not dying to gooey toddlers!"

The pit had officially turned into a squishy, panicked nightmare.

Kaito's eyes darted around the pit, the horde of squishy little slimes closing in with an unsettling mix of adorable innocence and absolute malice.

"Alright, alright, think—come on, brain, do the thing!" he muttered, pacing in place as baby slimes began inching closer. One gurgled like a rubber bath toy. Kaito nearly kicked it out of reflex.

Then it hit him.

"Kazuma! Get back down here and give me your arms!"

Kazuma, already halfway trying to scale the wall solo like a half-panicked raccoon, froze mid-scramble.

"What?! Why?!"

"Just trust me! Come back and lean against my back! Interlock your arms with mine!"

Kazuma stared at him, incredulous. "Are you asking me to Titanic pose you out of here?"

"I'm asking you to not get eaten by slimes in a pit! NOW MOVE!"

Reluctantly—and muttering something about how this better not be a stupid death scene—Kazuma dropped down and did as instructed.

Back to back, they pressed together, arms hooked at the elbows.

"Okay, now what?" Kazuma asked, trying not to look at the slimes that were now gleefully boinging in circles around their feet.

"We walk."

"We what?!"

"We walk. Up. The wall. Trust the leverage. Use the pressure of our backs and just start stepping. Synchronized. You go left leg, I go right. Ready?"

"…No."

"Too bad. Step."

The two awkwardly began inching their way up the slick crypt wall like a low-budget circus act, their feet pressing against uneven stone, shoulders pushing against each other with as much balance as two idiots could muster.

Kaito was gritting his teeth. "Don't move too fast—don't lean out—we'll lose pressure!"

Kazuma was sweating. "We're going to die. We're going to fall and I'm going to land face-first in slime."

"Just shut up and keep walking!"

One foot. Then another. Slowly, clumsily, somehow defying every law of physics and dignity, the two made progress.

Below, the baby slimes gurgled sadly, their dinner just out of reach.

Aqua was leaning over the edge now, blinking. "Are… are they climbing the wall like some kind of human centipede?"

Megumin was furiously sketching the moment into her spellbook. "This is art."

Darkness wiped a tear. "A beautiful display of trust and shared suffering…"

Kaito, just beneath the ledge, grunted. "One… more… step!"

Kazuma heaved. "I'm gonna throw up if we fall now!"

And with a final shove, they toppled out of the pit, landing in a heap at the others' feet—sweaty, shaking, but alive.

Aqua clapped politely. "I give it a six out of ten."

Kaito groaned into the floor. "I hate this dungeon."

Kazuma, still lying face-up, just whispered, "I can't feel my arms."

And somewhere below, the baby slimes squeaked in defeat.

Kaito stood up slowly, wobbling a little, still catching his breath from the pit stunt.

He wiped his palms on his pants and exhaled deeply.

"Alright… no more traps, no more weird goo monsters, no more falling through the floor." He glanced back at the group, his voice full of exhausted resolve. "Let's just get that damn amulet and get out of here."

Kazuma, brushing dirt off his coat, nodded. "Agreed. We're not dying down here. Not today."

The group reassembled and moved forward with renewed caution, every step measured, every square of floor scrutinized like it held a grudge.

And somehow… miraculously…

Nothing went wrong.

No plates clicked.

No walls moved.

No new horrors popped out of dark corners squeaking like children's toys.

They reached the pedestal.

The amulet sat there, untouched, resting atop aged velvet, its golden edges glinting faintly in the flickering torchlight.

Simple. Elegant. Almost… anticlimactic.

Kaito narrowed his eyes at it. "This feels too easy."

Kazuma crossed his arms. "Do not say that out loud right now."

Megumin hummed thoughtfully. "If it's cursed, we'll know the moment you touch it."

Darkness stepped closer. "Maybe it summons spikes! Or a rolling boulder! Or ceiling darts!"

Aqua whimpered. "Don't give the dungeon ideas!"

Kaito took a slow breath, reached out—

And with a steady hand, grasped the amulet.

He froze, waiting for something.

Anything.

The pedestal didn't drop.

The floor didn't open.

Nothing ignited.

The amulet sat in his hand, warm and unremarkable.

Kaito stared at it, stunned. "Huh. That's it?"

Silence.

Then Megumin nodded. "I guess it's safe."

Kazuma let out a breath. "Cool. Let's get the hell out of here before the crypt changes its mind."

Kaito nodded, holding the amulet tightly, and turned toward the exit.

For once… it seemed like things were going to end without a punchline.

Which, for this group, was a miracle in itself.

---

Later that day, the group stumbled through the door of Wiz's shop like survivors of a particularly bizarre war.

Their clothes were dusted with crypt grime, Kaito had a mild limp, Kazuma looked like he hadn't blinked in ten minutes, Aqua was still muttering something about slime trauma, and Megumin was humming cheerily like none of it had happened at all.

Vanir stood behind the counter, hands folded, mask gleaming. He looked like he'd been expecting them for hours.

"Ah! Welcome back, looped mortal and his band of unstable companions!" he said with theatrical cheer. "Did you survive your brush with moderately inconvenient death traps and acquire the trinket I so graciously asked for?"

Kaito gave him a flat look and reached into his pouch. "Yeah, we got it."

He placed the amulet on the counter with a distinct thunk, then crossed his arms.

"Would've been a hell of a lot easier if you'd mentioned the squeaky skeletons, the trap pit full of baby slimes, or the shrinking death room. You know—minor things."

Vanir gave a melodramatic shrug. "But then you wouldn't have grown from the experience! And besides, the comedy was delicious. I especially enjoyed the human-backpack maneuver. A masterpiece of desperation."

Kazuma muttered, "I'm still sore, you damn devil."

Vanir waved him off. "And yet, you live! So brave, so foolish. Delightful."

He picked up the amulet, turning it in his gloved hands, inspecting it with a strange reverence. The red gem at its center pulsed faintly.

"Ah, yes. This will do nicely."

Kaito leaned forward slightly. "Alright, we held up our end. We risked our lives—again. Now talk. What do you know about this curse on me?"

Vanir's mask gleamed as he looked up.

"Oh, don't worry, dear Kaito. You've earned your next clue. And I daresay… the next piece of your mystery lies not in crypts or curses, but in the shadows of someone who shouldn't even exist in this timeline."

Everyone froze.

Kaito blinked. "Wait—what the hell does that mean?"

Vanir chuckled, setting the amulet down with a smug little pat.

Vanir tapped the amulet on the counter once—clink—and then lifted his gaze back to Kaito, his mask unreadable but voice smooth and theatrical as always.

"Very well," he said, "since you've proven you can handle a mild taste of danger, I suppose you've earned a nugget of the truth. A crumb, if you will."

Kaito folded his arms. "It better be more than a crumb. We almost got crushed, skewered, and slimed."

Vanir ignored him. Or perhaps, more insultingly, he smiled beneath the mask.

"Some time ago," he began, turning the amulet slowly between his fingers, "a certain general of the Demon King's army—whose name I shall not speak aloud—attempted to tamper with forbidden temporal magic. His little experiment occurred near the Black Spired Fortress, that charming little ruin nestled in the rotten hills beyond the capital."

The room fell silent. Even Aqua stopped licking the potion bottle.

Megumin's eyes lit up. "The Black Spired Fortress? I've heard of that! Supposed to be haunted, cursed, and full of wild magical energy!"

"Exactly!" Vanir said, snapping his gloved fingers. "So wonderfully unstable. Rife with the echoes of past spells and broken realities. A perfect place for those who wish to rewrite the flow of time, or… accidentally doom a soul to relive the same day forever."

He tilted his head toward Kaito now, more deliberate.

"Of course," he added slyly, "I'm not saying that's what happened to you. Merely sharing… historical trivia."

Kaito's brows furrowed. "So what—you're not going to confirm it?"

Vanir shrugged. "Where would the fun be in that?"

Kazuma groaned. "You're the worst exposition machine I've ever met."

Vanir placed the amulet back on the counter with finality. "But I will say this, looped one: if you're serious about uncovering the origin of your curse… follow the echoes. Follow the magic. And if your fate did begin at the Black Spired Fortress, then what you find there may either liberate you—"

He paused, his voice deepening.

"—or shatter you completely."

Silence fell again, thick with tension.

Then Aqua broke it by sneezing loudly and knocking over three potion bottles.

Vanir clapped once. "And on that note—tea?"

As the group stepped out into the fading daylight, the door to Wiz's shop creaked shut behind them with a soft click.

Vanir remained inside, standing by the counter, hands clasped behind his back, watching the empty doorway with a posture that somehow radiated amusement despite the mask.

"Do take care, looped mortal," he called out, his voice echoing faintly after them. "I look forward to watching the comedy unfold. Oh, and do try not to die again too soon—it's starting to get predictable."

The door sealed the rest of his laughter away.

Outside, the late afternoon breeze tugged at cloaks and sleeves. The sun hung low, painting the sky in fading golds and deep violets.

The group walked in relative silence down the cobblestone path back toward Axel's main square, the bustle of townsfolk and lazy adventurers growing louder in the distance.

But Kaito wasn't hearing any of it.

His mind spun with Vanir's words.

A general of the Demon King.

Time magic.

The Black Spired Fortress.

Echoes.

Broken realities.

He replayed it all again and again in his head, turning it over like a puzzle he didn't yet have all the pieces for.

Could that really be where it all started?

Was his loop part of some grand magical experiment gone wrong? Or worse… something deliberate?

He felt the weight of that amulet still lingering in his palm—even though it was gone—like a phantom tether.

Kazuma broke the silence first. "You look like your brain is trying to speedrun a conspiracy theory."

Kaito blinked and looked up. "Huh?"

"You've got that look. The 'am I cursed or part of some multi-layered cosmic joke' look."

"…It might be both," Kaito muttered.

Aqua was walking with her arms folded, sulking. "You know, if you're cursed, it's probably because you didn't pray hard enough. Or maybe you offended a deity. Which is very possible."

Megumin leaned toward Kaito. "Black Spired Fortress sounds fun. If there's ancient magic there, I bet I could learn something spectacular."

Darkness, oddly calm, said, "I just hope the next place we go has more traps."

Kaito sighed. "Of course you do."

The guild's lanterns were coming into view now. Warm light, noisy laughter, the smell of cheap ale and day-old stew.

He shook off the lingering unease. For now, they'd made it out alive. Again.

And they had a new lead.

Whatever was waiting at the Black Spired Fortress, Kaito had a feeling it wouldn't be just another dumb death loop.

This… felt different.

Bigger.

He shoved his hands in his pockets and muttered, "Guess we'll find out soon enough."

And with that, they stepped back into the chaos of the guild—just another day in Axel.

---

Author's Note:

Thanks for reading this chapter! I hope you all enjoyed it—things are really starting to unravel (or loop, depending on how you look at it).

As always, feel free to drop a comment or review to let me know your thoughts. I read every one and appreciate the support more than you know.

Don't forget to favorite the story, add it to your reading list, and follow so you'll be the first to know when the next chapter drops.

Until then—stay safe, stay weird, and I'll see you all next time.

Peace