Chapter XV:
Despair
Subaru was broken.
He sat, just staring at Roswaal's desk for hours, his mind racing.
I killed… I killed… I killed…
Subaru couldn't finish the thought. All he could see were Felt and Rom's dead bodies. He could see her glazed-over eyes staring back at him. He tried to tell himself it hadn't happened, that it was just another loop, that it wasn't real.
But it had happened… at least, for him.
Subaru didn't know how long he sat there, but eventually, as he came to his senses, there was a knock at the door. Getting up, he forced himself to lumber down the stairs and open the door. Otto stood there, looking back at him.
"Oh, hello," Otto chuckled nervously. "I do hope this is the right place. Are you Natsuki Subaru?"
Subaru just stared at him, his expression vacant. Otto's words didn't quite register. Subaru simply nodded and pushed past him, heading toward the cart.
"Oh, um… I'm your transport to Arlam, you see… oh," Otto blinked as Subaru crawled into the back of his cart and stared out the rear.
"Well... off we go?" Otto scratched the back of his head, climbed onto the bench of the cart, and, with an odd glance at Subaru, flicked Frufoo's reins as they pulled away.
Subaru just looked out of the back of the cart, ignoring Otto's attempts at conversation. He couldn't stop picturing Felt's body, her eyes… her lifeless stare.
I killed… I killed… I killed them.
Subaru's head lifted from a slumber he didn't remember falling into. It was dark outside.
"We'll sleep here tonight; this village is safe," Otto stretched. "You should eat, Mr. Natsuki. I haven't seen you eat a bite yet."
Subaru looked around, then shook his head. "We need to keep moving."
"What? Whatever for?" Otto arched an eyebrow. "I get that you don't seem to be doing well. You've been quiet the whole ride, but rest and food will do everyone some good—"
"We need to keep moving!" Subaru snapped.
Otto seemed a little shaken, and Subaru forced himself to take a deep breath. "I'll make sure you're paid double," he said quietly.
"It's not a question of money, Frufoo is—"
"Triple," Subaru interrupted, his voice low. "Or I'll make the same offer to the next merchant I see."
Otto blinked, then looked at his Earth Dragon and sighed. "And I was ready to sleep... right, just let Frufoo rest for an hour, get some feed and water."
Subaru grunted in reply, staring out at the village as another merchant rolled in. He couldn't have cared less about what was going on around him.
What's my plan? Do I even have one?
Felt's eyes flashed in his mind again. Subaru closed his eyes and hugged his knees to his chest.
I killed…
Stop it… just stop it!
I killed… I killed… I killed…
Stop!
I killed… I killed… I killed... I killed… I killed…
"Stop it!" he shouted before he even realized it.
"M-Mr. Natsuki?"
Subaru opened his eyes and looked up at Otto. It was early mid-afternoon, and the merchant was staring at him with fear and concern on his face.
"S-Sorry," Subaru stammered, rubbing his eyes. He had fallen asleep again. Pushing himself up, Subaru looked past Otto, noticing several villagers looking at him with concerned expressions.
Clambering out of the back of the cart, Subaru looked around. Even though he had been drifting in and out of sleep for the past few days, he still felt exhausted. His stomach was gnawing at him. He hadn't eaten anything this loop, and hunger bit at him.
"Subaru," the voice of Petra cut through the haze.
Looking down, Subaru saw her red bow sitting atop her head. A lump formed in his throat. The last time he had seen her, she'd been clutched to Ram's dead body, but now she was standing in front of him, alive and well… for now.
The Cultists are coming…
"Everyone… go to the manor…" Subaru said weakly.
"The manor? What for?" one of the older men, who had been gawking at him, asked.
"Roswaal sent me a letter," Subaru lied. "The Witch Cult was seen headed this way."
If I tell them the truth… they'd all die… just like…
"Please…" Subaru said quietly.
"T-The Witch Cult!" Otto stammered. "Why didn't you say anything on the road?"
"You might not have taken me to Arlam if I did," Subaru replied, his gaze vacant.
"Why did he send you a letter?" A villager asked, "Why not one of his other servants, or the half-elf?"
"Do you need me to elaborate, or will you all go to the manor!" Subaru shouted, "I just know they're coming, you're welcome to stay here and wait for them to arrive!"
There was a muttering among the villagers, but they all began to run off to warn the rest of the village. Petra seemed shaken by the news but declared she was off to get her friends.
"I-I think I'm going to get out of here before they arrive," Otto stammered.
"You'll die if you run," Subaru said but turned and started to lumber up the road for the manor himself. It wouldn't matter if Otto lived or died.
I killed them… and I'm going to die here again… aren't I?
"Subaru? What's going on?"
Rem was standing in front of him… had he walked all that way? He didn't remember, it was all so… fuzzy. Pointless even.
I killed…
Stop being such a bitch!
I killed them…
"Where's Roswaal?" Subaru asked weakly.
"Master Roswaal? He left on important business the morning we got back. That was a day ago," Rem looked him over. "You don't look well. Let me get Lady Emilia."
Roswaal wasn't here to protect them…
He killed them… just like… I…
Stop it!
"Subaru! You look awful… are those the villagers?" Emilia looked past him as the village of Arlam was marching up the courtyard.
"Oh… yeah," Subaru looked over his shoulder, "The Witch Cult is coming…"
Emilia blinked, "What?"
"The Witch Cult, Roswaal sent me a letter… I think I had it somewhere," Subaru lied.
"We have to do something then," Emilia said firmly, "Rem, go get your sister, Subaru…"
She looked him over, but Subaru was just looking at the floor, his eyes glazed over.
There's nothing I can do…
Stop it! Stop being a coward! You're better than this!
There was a commotion around Subaru, but it was all just noise. Rem was leading him into the Manor.
Nothing I can do… Why care? I'm trapped, I'm killed… Rom… Felt… I'm just going to watch everyone here die too, aren't I?
STOP IT!
"Subaru…"
What do I care?
STOP!
"Subaru!"
Everyone... will die... right?
GET IT TOGETHER!
Subaru felt the sharp smack as his eyes blinked open. Ram was standing over him, gripping his shoulders.
"Snap out of it, you useless excuse for an apprentice!" Ram scolded. Subaru looked at her uniform, noting the blood staining it.
"It's begun?" he asked.
"You can fight, so get off your useless self and move before—"
The window of the room shattered as a black-cloaked figure burst through, daggers in hand. Ram cursed and turned. "Fura!"
Blades of wind flashed from her hand, slashing the cultist across the chest as they slumped to the floor, bloodied.
Subaru was vaguely aware of the loud commotion in the halls, the sound of fighting and struggles happening all around him.
There's nothing I can do…
But you can try.
Subaru pushed Ram aside as a blade flashed toward him. "Minya."
A purple crystal flew from his hand, striking the cultist in the forehead as they crumpled to the ground. The cultist's head shattered against the floor with a sickening crack as their body hit the ground.
Nothing… but I must try.
"Oh? Oh, oh, oh! What is this? Oh, how amazing! Amazing, yes, yes, yes!" A voice echoed from the hallway.
Subaru turned to see a man step through the threshold, an unnatural smirk twisting across his sickly green face. His dark green hair, resembling moss, contrasted sharply with his pale complexion. The sight of him made Subaru's skin crawl.
"Who are you? I wonder, oh yes. Are you a follower of the Gospel? You seem so slothful, yes, yes! All these poor souls dying, and yet here you are, sitting idly. How slothful indeed!" The man's smirk stretched wider, his eyes nearly bulging out of his head. "Tell me, are you Pride? Or something else entirely?"
Subaru took half a step back, his blood running cold. "Who are you?" He reached for a blade that wasn't at his side.
"Oh, where are my manners, how forgetful of me!" The man bowed unnervingly deep. "I am the Sin Archbishop representing Sloth, Petelgeuse Romanée-Conti."
Subaru's heart skipped a beat. He had heard of the Archbishops before—those who encountered them rarely lived to tell the tale. Before Petelgeuse could speak again, Subaru sprang into action. "Minya!"
Subaru watched in horror as a black, oily hand smacked the purple crystal out of the air. To his shock, more of the black, writhing hands emerged from the smirking Archbishop's back.
"Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! This won't do, just won't do!" Petelgeuse laughed manically.
"Ram, kill him!" Subaru pleaded as he launched another two crystals.
"Fura!" Ram shouted as several blades of wind cut toward the Archbishop's head.
"How foolish, how you struggle, struggle, struggle!" Petelgeuse taunted, the hands blocking the attacks effortlessly. In the blink of an eye, the black limbs shot forward, lunging toward Subaru.
Eyes wide, he leapt back, but Ram seemed oblivious to the oncoming danger. "Ram, move!" Subaru yelled, but the hands coiled around her like serpents.
Cursing, Subaru fired more crystals at the hands already beginning to constrict around her. Ram thrashed as her breath grew ragged.
The crystals struck the limbs, causing them to recoil. Ram fell to the ground, gasping for air.
"You… you… you can see?!" Petelgeuse stammered, eyes wide with disbelief. "No, no, no! This is not good, not good, not good, not good, not good, not good! This is unheard of, preposterous, my—my—my brain t-teeeeeeeeeeeeeermbles!"
To Subaru's shock, Petelgeuse bit into his fingers, blood pouring down his hands and pooling onto the floor.
"Die," Petelgeuse said darkly.
At his words, more hands shot out, aiming for Subaru, and others reached for Ram. Subaru barely managed to slip past the first few, but he was too slow, and Petelgeuse was too close. Several hands grabbed his ankles and whipped him onto the floor, then the ceiling with sickening force. Subaru felt his bones crack, the air leaving his lungs as pain shot through him. He was tossed around like a ragdoll before being slammed against the far wall.
Coughing up blood, Subaru's eyes flickered open, his vision blurry as he watched in horror. The arms twisted and contorted Ram's pink-haired body at unnatural angles. The sound of snapping bones and broken limbs was nauseating.
"L-let her go," Subaru said weakly. As he tried to get up, his legs refused to obey. Looking down in horror, he saw his feet had been twisted around at cruel angles. The pain registered only then.
Subaru gasped for breath, hyperventilating, as his vision blurred. His heart sank as he saw Ram's lifeless body being tossed aside, landing just a few feet from him.
"Let me consult the book, yes, yes, yes, yes!" Petelgeuse pulled a black tome from his robes and began to flick through the pages with maddening glee, a twisted smile on his lips. "Yes, slothful one, you are—lying down, your friends dying, how slothful, yes, yes!"
Slapping the book shut, Petelgeuse smirked. "You are not in the pages of the holy text. Not a problem, you are just another corpse, another lost soul. Not Pride, just forever… slothful. How wonderful for you! Forever loved… forever… loved."
"You're insane," Subaru managed to croak, his hand trembling as he lifted it. "El Minya."
At his words, Subaru's mana reserves crashed, and four dozen purple crystals shot forth. He hoped he could kill, or at the very least seriously injure the Sin Archbishop. With heavy eyes, he watched helplessly as the crystals were smacked aside, one by one, turning the room into a kaleidoscope of purple light.
"I was mistaken. You must be Pride!" Petelgeuse smirked. "Now, sleep, sleep, sleep, and be more… slothful!"
Exhaustion swept over Subaru like a wave. He could feel the black, oily hands tearing him apart, his body twisting as the pain mounted, then—snap.
"Ahhhh!" Subaru shouted as he found himself back in Roswaal's office.
I… how… how can I stop that?!
Subaru rested his head against the desk, his mind racing.
I can't… I'm not strong enough. I can't beat that! I didn't even scratch him, even when they knew it was coming… everyone still… still…
Subaru retched on the floor, panting, as waves of sickness and despair washed over him. He was hyperventilating, struggling to hold himself together.
What… what can I do?!
Shaking his head, he smacked himself hard. "Get a grip, Natsuki Subaru!" he scolded, trying to force himself to focus. "They'll keep dying if you act like a bitch!"
Standing up, Subaru paced the room. "I can't ask Felt… I just… can't." He could still see her lifeless body when he closed his eyes.
I…
No, enough of that!
"Going to the village is useless. I could try and fight the cultists as I am. Maybe, with everyone, we could stop them... but the Archbishop? No, we'd get slaughtered." Subaru wracked his brain, his gaze drifting back to the books on Roswaal's desk. Biting his lip, Subaru cursed.
"I need more firepower," he muttered, opening the pages.
Subaru read and read until it was late in the evening. By the time he finished, his eyes were heavy. The books had been informative, bluntly so. The contents were meant for skilled mages, of which Subaru did not consider himself one. But it was all he had to work with.
Trial and error, Subaru told himself, rubbing his eyes. I need to try… and try… and try… until I get it right.
Tucking the books into a leather satchel along with all the necessary materials gathered from Roswaal's store, Subaru stepped out into the night. The city was quiet, the streets cloaked in darkness, save for the occasional flicker of a lantern. He'd spent the entire day poring over the material, and one read-through wasn't nearly enough. He knew that. The sickening weight of what he had to do pressed against the back of his mind.
Maybe I'll get lucky this time, he lied to himself.
The thought didn't comfort him.
Crossing the city with purpose, Subaru arrived at Conrad's forge. The building stood in silence, abandoned for the night. He didn't have the time—or patience—to fumble with the lock. A purple crystal later and a swift kick sent the door creaking open.
Inside, the forge still smoldered, fresh coals glowing beneath a bed of ash. Soon, they would be hot enough. Subaru propped open the book, skimming the instructions once more.
Mana… it needs mana. And the inscriptions—carve them into the billet.
He found Conrad's tools, running his fingers over their worn edges. He'd always been good at engraving. But carving magic runes into an unfinished piece? It felt… wrong. Yet, the book was clear—this was the process.
Taking a steady breath, he muttered the chant under his breath, feeling his mana pull from within as he worked. His hands were steady, his strokes precise. But then—
Boom.
A shockwave ripped through the forge. Heat exploded outward, a wall of fire engulfing the room in an instant. Subaru barely had time to scream before the searing agony consumed him. His flesh burned, his vision blurred, and his thoughts scattered into nothing but pain.
And then—
Blink.
He was back. Roswaal's office. The books. The desk. His hands—unburned. His breath came in ragged gasps as he clutched his chest.
Subaru cursed.
He squeezed his eyes shut, steadied himself and reached for the books again.
He returned to the forge.
Worked the forge.
Inscribed the billet.
Chanted.
Placed it in the fire.
Boom—
Woke up in Roswaal's office.
Read.
Returned.
Worked.
Boom—
Woke up.
Read.
Returned.
Worked.
Boom—
Again.
And again.
And again.
Boom—Boom—Boom—Boom—Boom—Boom—Boom—
Subaru gritted his teeth.
Again.
Subaru panted, staring down at the finished piece as it glowed faintly in the dim orange light of the forge. The moment he had tempered the blade, he had braced himself for the inevitable explosion—for the world to be torn away in fire and agony once more. But it never came.
He had lost count of how many times he'd died.
At some point, he had stopped trying. Stopped keeping track. If he thought too hard about it, if he let the weight of it settle in, he feared he might crumble into dust.
Holding up the sword, he examined the single rune etched into its surface. Fire. He had attempted others—tried engraving multiple at once—but after a series of catastrophic failures, he had decided to focus on mastering a single element.
If only I retained muscle memory, this would've been over ages ago.
Each time he tried, it was like fumbling in the dark. His mind remembered everything—the books, the techniques, the precise stroke of each rune—but his body? It reset every time. He had to move slowly, deliberately. Every stroke of the chisel, every whisper of mana, it was always a first attempt.
Inspecting the blade, he felt a fleeting flicker of satisfaction. The metal had tempered straight. No warping, no cracks. It should, in theory, hold up.
Now, he had to see how it performed.
Gripping the tang—he hadn't gotten to fashioning a handle yet—he took a breath and swung.
A faint trail of embers followed.
Another swing. The metal glowed.
A third—too much.
Heat licked up his fingers, the tang burning into his palm.
"Shit!" Subaru yelped, dropping the blade with a clatter and plunging his hand into a bucket of water. Steam hissed as he winced, flexing his fingers. The burn wasn't terrible, but it stung like hell.
I never got to the part where you add protection enchantments to the handle…
Frustrated, Subaru dunked his head into the bucket, letting the cool water ground him. When he pulled back, dripping and breathless, he stared at the sword lying on the floor, its glow fading.
On the bright side, the rune should keep the blade from melting… if I did it right.
Slinging water from his hair, he reached behind the counter, finding the burn ointment and bandages Conrad always kept on hand. Wrapping his hand with methodical precision, Subaru let the silence of the forge press in on him.
Even though this was progress—even though any blacksmith would call this an extraordinary achievement—Subaru felt nothing but a gnawing, twisting knot of frustration in his gut.
It's not enough. It's not enough!
Grinding his teeth, he grabbed the book, flipping through it until he found another rune. Lightning.
He didn't hesitate.
He began again.
Halfway through the process—
Zap.
Pain lanced through him. His muscles seized, his breath cut short—
Blink.
Back in Roswaal's study.
Subaru's hands clenched into fists, still trembling from the phantom pain.
Best guess?
His heart had stopped. Or maybe his body had been fried from the inside out.
Didn't matter.
He cursed under his breath, took a deep breath—
And read the books again.
Subaru sat in the back of Otto's cart, his gaze cold and distant. He flexed his fingers, staring down at the heavy bandages that wrapped the left half of his body. The pain was dull now, nothing more than an afterthought. He had only just finished the sword—hours before Otto arrived—but it had nearly cost him his life.
Again.
At some point, he had started taking precautions. Adjusting. Learning from his mistakes. Trying to protect himself. But the deaths blurred together. Each failure, each searing agony, another weight pressing down on him.
But now…
Now, he had something.
A weapon that might finally tip the scales. Clutching the cloth-wrapped blade to this chest, he thought over how he'd kill them… it had taken him so long.
His face was still raw, half-burned, his skin tight from the damage. He barely noticed.
Nothing matters.
None of this matters.
All that matters is victory.
Just another body on the pile.
Another.
Another.
Another.
"Well… here we are," Otto said uneasily, glancing back. "Are you sure you don't need to find a healer?"
"Keep going to Arlam," Subaru muttered, his voice edged with something Otto didn't like.
"But—"
"If you do, you'll be paid triple." Subaru's tone was quiet, even, but the weight in his words left no room for argument. "If you refuse, I'll find someone else."
Otto hesitated, looking between him and his Earth Dragon. Then, with a sigh, he nodded and snapped the reins.
Subaru closed his eyes, exhaling through his nose.
I'll find a way.
Find a way.
Find a way.
Ignoring the ache in his limbs, he forced himself to eat. He had to. His body was screaming for rest, for relief, but that didn't matter. It was a minor inconvenience.
Next time, I'll get it right.
Just need more data.
Just need to see how well it works…
They reached Arlam before Subaru even realized it. Sleep had never come—not that he had expected it to. His body throbbed with pain, every movement sending fresh waves of agony through his nerves. But it didn't matter. He didn't need rest. He didn't deserve it.
As the cart rolled to a stop, Subaru gingerly climbed out, his bandaged body stiff and aching. The moment his feet hit the dirt, gasps rippled through the gathered villagers.
"Subaru… what—what happened?!" Petra's voice cracked as she rushed toward him, her eyes wide with horror.
Doesn't matter.
"Get everyone to the manor," Subaru ordered coldly. "The Witch Cult is coming."
No explanations. No reassurances. Just the truth.
He didn't wait for their questions. He pushed past them and started up the hill. I'll kill Petelgeuse. I'll save everyone.
The manor's front doors swung open, and Rem stood there, her face frozen in shock. "S-Subaru! What happened!? Come in quickly, I'll get Lady Emilia—no, Lady Beatrice might be better—"
"We don't have time for that," Subaru cut her off, his voice sharp, unyielding. "Go get Emilia and Ram. Now. The Witch Cult is coming."
Then, without another word, he walked past her, heading straight for the courtyard. He lowered himself onto the cold stone and waited.
Come on, you bastards. Come get me.
Rem hovered, fussing over him, begging for an explanation. He ignored her. Villagers passed by, seeking out the maids for answers, but Subaru remained unmoved, his grip tightening around the hilt of his sword.
"Subaru, what exactly is going on?"
He looked up. Emilia.
His stomach twisted. He hadn't seen her die in this loop. He prayed he wouldn't see it today.
"The Witch Cult is coming," he said flatly.
Emilia's eyes darted around. "How can you be sure?"
"I don't have the energy to explain. When they get here, I'm going to kill every last one of them." His fingers clenched around the hilt, white-knuckled. "You should bring out Puck. You'll both be needed."
Emilia hesitated, looking toward the sky. "It's nearly five o'clock," she murmured, her voice uneasy. "Subaru, you're injured—maybe you're not thinking clearly. Let me heal you."
"Don't waste your mana," Subaru scolded, shaking his head. "Save it."
A flicker of movement caught his eye. His pulse quickened.
"Here they come."
Subaru stood, his entire body tense. His gaze locked on the road leading into town.
"I know you're all there," he called out. "So come on out."
"Subaru, there isn't—" Emilia began, but her breath caught as the ground trembled.
Ten-robed figures rose from the earth like phantoms, their presence suffocating the air around them.
"T-That's not good," Emilia whispered.
Subaru bared his teeth.
Subaru didn't wait—he had no reason to.
With a surge of mana, he ripped his sword from its makeshift cloth scabbard, his grip tightening around the hilt as he launched forward. Pain no longer mattered. Fatigue no longer mattered. The only thing that mattered was cutting them all down.
His blade ignited a brilliant arc of red-hot lightning and flames licking the ground, scorching everything in its path. The speed of his strike was instant—they died before they even understood what had happened.
"Subaru, what… what was that?!" Emilia gasped, eyes wide in shock.
But he didn't respond.
More cultists emerged from the shadows. She had no time to hesitate, launching her ice missiles into the fray, but Subaru barely noticed. His focus was singular, absolute.
"PETELGEUSE!" he roared, cutting through another wave of robed figures.
"PETELGEUSE! PETELGEUSE! PETELGEUSE!"
He was dimly aware of the battle waging around him—Rem tearing through enemies, Emilia casting spells—but it didn't matter. The cultists, realizing that mere daggers were useless, turned to magic, hurling bolts of fire toward him.
Foolish.
Subaru laughed as he swung his sword once more, his fire and lightning overwhelming their attacks, consuming them in a violent storm. Before they could even attempt another strike, they were already dead.
I can win.
I know I can!
Then—
"Are you Pride?"
Subaru froze, his burning gaze snapping onto the source of the voice.
Petelgeuse.
The Archbishop stood there, his grotesque form trembling with ecstasy.
"Petelgeuse, there you are." Subaru's grip tightened. His voice was a low growl. "Die."
With a single, decisive swing, his blade screamed toward the Sin Archbishop.
But before it could land—
A storm of hands erupted from Petelgeuse's body, writhing, twisting, laughing as they intercepted the attack.
"You are! You are Pride! I knew it! You must be chosen! I can tell, I can, I can, I can!"
"Shut up!" Subaru snarled, slashing again, unleashing another wave of fire and lightning.
Petelgeuse howled as his unseen hands burned away—but more sprouted in their place.
"No? Maybe Wrath? I know Wrath already, odd… no, definitely Pride! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! This perplexes me, baffles me, befuddles me! I treeeeeeeeemble!"
His unseen hands lunged for Subaru.
A barrage of ice missiles rained down from above, but Subaru had already rushed forward.
"Shamak!"
A cloud of black mist swallowed Petelgeuse whole.
And then—
One final slash.
His blade, white-hot, pierced through the Archbishop's chest.
The body ignited instantly, flames devouring him until nothing remained but ash.
Subaru stumbled, falling to his knees, his mana completely drained.
"Subaru!" Emilia was at his side, panic in her voice. "What… what just happened?!"
His lungs burned. His muscles screamed. But he didn't care.
He threw his head back and laughed.
"I won."
I won.
I WON!
"You truly are Pride."
Subaru's blood ran cold.
His laughter died in his throat.
Slowly, he turned.
A woman stood before him, smirking.
She stepped forward, her eyes gleaming with sick delight.
"And there is the vessel! Oh, joy! Oh, lovely, lovely, lovely!"
Emilia immediately placed herself between them, her arms outstretched in a protective stance.
"W-What?" Subaru's breath hitched. No. No, I killed him!
His vision swam. His body refused to move.
I used too much mana.
He struggled, forcing his legs to respond—but the ground swallowed him whole.
Damn it.
Damn it.
Damn it!
"Don't worry, Subaru—"
"You need Puck!" Subaru gasped through the haze, his body screaming, his vision swimming.
"It's too late in the day now," Emilia said, her voice steady, unaware of the doom looming just behind her.
T-That's right…
Subaru gritted his teeth, forcing himself past the agony, past the exhaustion.
Move. Move, damn it!
With sheer will alone, he pushed himself up, his body trembling from the effort.
And then—
He saw them.
A swarm of hands, writhing, twisting, reaching for Emilia.
His heart lurched. No—
"PETELGEUSE!"
The grinning woman tilted her head, her expression gleeful, her voice drenched in amusement.
"Be more sloooooothful!"
Subaru's breath caught.
A sharp pain tore through his chest.
Gasping, he looked down—
Two blades. Sticking out from his chest.
A strangled sound left his lips as his body locked up, his knees buckling. Slowly, he turned his head.
Behind him, two cultists stood, their daggers buried deep into his back.
Everything went cold. The world blurred. The ground rushed up to meet him. Somewhere, far away, he could hear Rem screaming. But it was all just haze now.
Another death.
Another.
"Pride."
Another.
"Sloooooothful!"
Another.
"You failed her, Subaru," Puck's voice whispered, ice creeping along his skin, snow biting into his flesh.
"Sleep with her. Forevermore."
Another.
"This vessel is perfect! Perfect!"
Another.
"Subaru?"
Another.
"Subaru."
Another. Another. Another. Another!
"SUBARU!"
A dimly lit room.
And Rom, standing over him.
Subaru vaguely remembered venturing into the Astrea manor and fiding Rom's room.
The old man's weathered face creased in confusion, his voice gruff. "What are you doing here, boy?"
Subaru stared up at him, his breath still ragged, his body still trembling. His lips parted, his voice hollow—
"I… don't know anymore."
Then, he wept.
A/N: Another chapter this one was a bit darker. Next Chapter Sunday 3/05/25.
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Anon: This is currently the only fic for which I am actively waiting for updates on, so random quick upload really made my day!, Really superb writing and storytelling, super impressive.
Well, thank you for reading!
Victoream: Subaru All Alone. One day, maybe, you're going to get rid of the contract. Stay strong to join Felt Camp one day
He's stronger now... wasn't fun to get there.
alsdjhfgljkwebgh: [Redacted]
You appear to be an angry person... well. Hope you deal with that.
will2: good chapter
Thanks!
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See you all soon!