I.
The sleepy cul de sac in the equally sleepy town of Peach Creek would often come to mind as one of the few places where the innocence of childhood could only be rivaled by the vibrant horizons of imaginations. Kids often played and hung with each other in an equilibrium that matched that of a natural order of sorts. There were those that played tea time and others that rode their bikes, and that one kid that talked to a plank of wood with a drawn face on. This place was what a sign would say, 'a great place to raise a family'. But just like in the natural world, there was one hitch. Or more specifically, a hitch for a group of teenagers that called the cul de sac their home.
This trio of stooges found themselves gathering in their usual hang out spot, an abandoned purple van from the 80s. They were a tall kid with a unibrow, a big green jacket and a dumb goody-goody expression, a medium kid with a black beanie on his head and a worried expression and a short kid that resembled David Jackson from Fools and Horses with an even more worried expression on his face.
"Alright sockhead, give it to me straight." The shortest of the teens held his hands together, hoping that his fears weren't realized. "What's the verdict?"
"I regret to inform you, Eddy, that given our latest escapades, and subsequent groundings, we are very much broke." The beanie wearing kid flipped a piggy bank over, for no cash to come out.
"What did we do to deserve this?!" Eddy groaned, falling on his back.
"Maybe it had something to do with us wrecking the neighborhood with a dangerous scam, running away across the state to avoid a beating and subsequent punishment, and leaving what could only be described as thousands of dollars of damages in our wake, Eddy?" The tall kid rambled on, leaving the other two with perplexed expressions.
"Double D, did Ed just say all that with a straight face?" Eddy asked. "Because it feels like we've hit a new low."
"I said a smart thought. Ooh, chicken!" The now named Ed pointed to the chicken poking around the garbage dump.
"Well, the universe has surprised and reminded us that weirder things could happen," Double D replied. "Face it Eddy, we'll have to wait until our respective groundings are over before we see another penny of our allowances. Either that or start investing in the stock market."
These three were known as the Eds, given they all had 'Ed' in their names. There was Ed, the strongest guy someone could possibly run into. Think Superman-levels of strength in the mind of a toddler to get an idea. Then there was Eddward or Double D, the resident smart guy and voice of reason of the group. Pray for him, for his sanity is taxed daily. And then there was Eddy, the short king of the group and brains behind every scam and scheme the trio over cooked up.
Speaking of…
"Or we could do what we do every day, Sockhead." Eddy smirked like a sly dog wanting to snatch his favorite ball. "We pull a scam! A big one too! We must have one or two things stored around here that we can use." He poked his hand inside Double D's hat, hoping to find some brilliant plan that could make them rich without any legal red tape.
"Eddy, as much as I would want some cash myself, we can't pull a scam." Double D pulled Eddy away from his hat. "We just got on everyone's… more tolerable graces. If we pull a scam now, we will be kicked out of the hot water into the proverbial fire."
Eddy grumbled in defeat. He hated to admit it, but being tolerated/liked by the rest of the suckers aka kids of the cul de sac was something he and his friends enjoyed. There was no need to return to the usual beatings and chases that they had been receiving since the beginning of their scamming days. They were by no means the most beloved kids around, but the baby steps they'd taken more than felt like a step in the right direction. But that didn't get them out of their current slump.
"Then how do you suppose we get some jawbreakers? If we don't scam anyone, how are we gonna get them?" Eddy asked. "I don't see you coming up with any ideas. Use that big brain for something useful!"
"Sadly, I don't see us getting a job any time soon, so there goes that idea. We can't ask our parents for money until the end of summer… of our senior year of high school," Double D said. "Which leaves us one solution: Sell something ourselves."
"Oh, like what my mom says those other ladies my dad and his friends hang around do?" Ed turned to his friends with a lost look in his eyes.
"No, Ed, I-" Double D stopped himself as he and Eddy looked at their friend with confusion before getting back to their conversation. "Ahem, what I mean is, we sell some of our old stuff in exchange for money."
"Great idea, sockhead, I remember my dad telling me how much money he got from the Salvation Army after he gave them the old TV." Eddy rolled his eyes, his words heavy with sarcasm.
"Not a donation, Eddy, though that is a good action. I mean, we look at what we have and see if we can sell it, like a garage sale." Double D jumped out of the van.
"But I don't wanna sell my things, Double D. They're mine." Eddy groaned.
However, as soon as he said that, the three heard the indistinguishable sound of someone sucking on a giant jawbreaker. They turned to see the resident weirdo Jimmy walking with Plank as he enjoyed the large candy ball.
"I can't believe they're having a sale on jawbreakers, Plank. They even have different flavors." Jimmy talked to his imaginary friend as he held two more jawbreakers in his other hands.
The Eds couldn't help but drool at the sight of the candy.
"Okay, fine. We'll do a garage sale, but if it doesn't work, we look for a scam." Eddy compromised, even if every bone in his body told him that he had to scam for money.
After three hours of looking and scavenging and pulling Ed out of the basement after his parents took the stairs away, again, the Eds had placed a garage sale fit for moving. They had set it up in front of Eddy's house with a large carpet where they could show off their goodies and their trinkets. They sat before their goods with Ed holding up an arrow sign that read 'Eds' Garage Sale'. They sat there waiting for anyone to come by and ask to buy anything that they were offering. Which sadly want anyone.
"Where the heck is everyone?" Eddy tapped his foot with his arms crossed. "Is there a cartoon or a movie everyone wanted to watch, or what?"
"Patience Eddy. You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar." Double D went over the prices of their respective pieces. "Though we could knock out a few zeroes here and there. Oh look, a potential customer."
Rolph came by with his pig on a leash. Nothing out of the ordinary for the son of a shepherd from some unknown European country that had his own farm in the cul de sac.
"Hello there Ed boys, ooh, what is this?" Rolph looked at the garage sale. "Did someone die and you giving away their stuff?"
"No Rolph, we're selling a few of our things to get some extra cash," Double D explained as Ed played around with the pig.
"Oh, like a gypsy sale. I like those." Rolph picked up a magnifying glass. "Is this what you use to see into the future or into someone's souls to tell their fortune?" He then picked up one of Eddy's many colognes and tacky fake leopard slippers. "Ooh, are this potions to summon the dead and the slippers to whack away the evil spirits? If so, I'll take twenty."
Eddy's eyes suddenly got dollar signs on them as Rolph said those words.
"Well, my good friend, we don't have that many but for these few I guess we can let them go for twenty-no, thirty bucks." Eddy held his hand out with a big smile.
"Ooh, and such a good price too. Here you go Ed boy." Rolph dropped thirty living buck bunnies in Eddy's hands. "You can keep em, they breed like rabbits. Bye Ed boys." Rolph walked away with his purchases and his pig with Ed whining.
Eddy looked at the bunnies that had been left in his hands, and his eyes went from dollar signs to anger. Luckily for the bunnies Ed snatched them all in a bear hug.
"Bunnies!" Ed smiled and called with happiness.
"Great idea, sockhead. Now I'm out on my favorite cologne and I don't have any slippers," Eddy said. "Any other bright ideas?"
Double D tapped his chin at their situation. Rolph might've been a slight trip, but there was still a chance that someone else would buy their stuff. Maybe Nazz would think his stethoscope or his microscope would be neat to have? Or maybe Jimmy would be interested in some of Ed's comics, he had a vivid imagination. There was still hope that someone would want to buy their stuff for the right price. And even if they didn't buy everything, they would still get some money out of this venture and thus lead them to more lucrative entrepreneurship paths. They just needed someone that could and would buy enough of their stuff to gain the required capital.
Just then, his prayers were answered by Jimmy walking by with a balloon in his hands. Not the worst choice of customer in the cul de sac they could have had. But a customer nonetheless.
"Hey, Jimmy, looking for something new to have. Maybe you'd like to get something new and interesting with a flair?" Eddy offered, showing off their goodies. "Maybe something that brings out your braces? Or something that will accompany the balloon you got there?"
"Hm, I don't know? Maybe," Jimmy replied.
He looked around at the stuff laid before him. His eyes then landed on the bunnies.
"Bunnies!" He gasped. "I want one. Are they free range?"
"Free range rabbits?" Double D asked. "Um, yes, I suppose."
"Were they raised on organic non-GMO carrots?" Jimmy asked.
"Sure, sure, sure!" Eddy answered. "They had all those things and more. SATs, ACTs, Vitamin C, D, ABCs. They're yours for a small sum of thirty bucks. And by bucks, I mean dollars, as in cash." Eddy held out his hand expecting some money to actually cross his palm.
"Oh, let me see what I've got in my new carrot-shaped wallet," Jimmy said.
"Great doing business with-Did you say carrot-shaped?" Eddy stopped himself.
As soon as Jimmy pulled out his wallet, all the bunnies looked at it with hunger in their eyes. They pounced on the kid trying to pry the wallet from him before dragging him away before the eyes of the Eds.
They watched the boy get dragged while pleading for help against their tiny bites and surprisingly strong hold over him. However, one thing crossed their minds as they watched the kid get dragged away by the pack of bunnies straight out of a Monty Python film.
"This isn't working, sockhead." Eddy turned to Double D. "We're scammers! We need to scam these guys or else we get nothing but bunnies that attack customers!"
"Maybe we can try to look for some other spot to look for customers, Eddy?" Double D suggested.
"Hey, guys, look, it's Kevin!" Ed got their attention.
"Finally, someone with brains," Eddy sighed, hoping to sell at least something that day.
Kevin, the resident cool guy and the usual promoter of any and all Ed poundings, stopped his bicycle in front of the garage sale.
"What are you dorks doing?" Kevin asked.
"We're selling a few of our things, anything we can interest you in?" Double D asked, lifting his cactus in hopes of getting some cash.
"Nah, I don't need any of your dorky stuff. See ya." Kevin drove off, leaving the Eds in the dust.
"Seriously? Not even a look," Eddy sighed. "Admit it sockhead, we're wasting our time here."
"You may be right, Eddy. We need to go where we could sell some of our stuff outside the cul de sac." Double D had to admit that the best plan was to try their luck elsewhere. "Mother did mention an antique store not far from here, maybe we can sell a few things there."
"A place that sells and deals in dusty old junk that no one wants but some people will pay an arm and a leg for? Do we look desperate?" Eddy asked.
"Hey guys, look! I'm a helicopter!" Ed spun the sign so fast that he was sent flying into someone else's house.
"...I've thought it over and it's a brilliant idea." Eddy grabbed all his stuff. "Lead on Double D."
"Before the cops arrive, Eddy." They packed their stuff before going after Ed.
The Eds weren't all that used to travel outside the cul de sac for their scams or business ventures, but they knew their way around the town from the different locales to the way to the school and the few other places like the candy store. So after looking at said store like a trio of starved puppies, they managed to find the antique store that Double D had heard of. But it didn't look like much.
"Here we are gentlemen," Double D pointed to the modest locale and its sign.
The store was no bigger than any other house in the cul de sac, but this one carried itself with a bit more… character than the other businesses surrounding it. The windows showed a clear collection of oddities and pieces that ranged from dancing ballerinas to dancing stuffed bears, from movie posters to desks and chairs that looked pulled out straight from an Agatha Christie novel. The door was carved wood that made it look like it had been removed from a church in Mexico and placed against the door of the fine establishment. And on top of said door was a sign that read 'Trotters Antique Traders'.
"What is this place?" Eddy asked, looking in through the doors. "You sure whoever runs this place will buy our stuff, sockhead. It looks more like someone's dump. Or my bro's room."
"This is an antiques store, my fellow entrepreneurs, in here pieces from all over history are purchased and sold to connoisseurs of the finest tastes." Double D tried to give the place a feeling of grandeur and importance, hoping to make his two friends behave in the best of ways. "Why, I wouldn't be surprised if we found a lost relic from a monarch here."
"Look Eddy, they have a dancing bear with a top hat!" Ed pointed through the window.
"Wow, that guy must have great taste! Let's go in, Double D!" Eddy opened the door before dragging Ed and all their stuff inside.
Double D could only sigh, knowing there would be no way to get them out of their normal routine. Best he could do was make sure that they didn't leave them with a larger mess to clean up by the end of the day.
The inside of the store was filled with all manner of pieces from all the corners of the globe, as had been expected. Yet there were a few oddities that looked a little less regal than what had been expected by the smart guy of the trio. There were some fancy pieces of furniture and old cups and silverware but there were also posters of rock bands, a diving suit from the 19th or the 20th century, still in working order, betamax discs of the Poseidon Adventure, china plates and bowls of a royal wedding that hadn't taken place, and a golden necklace with the engraved name of 'Gary'. Some of these were hardly what one would call collectible antiques. Yet they were there, slumming it with the old historical pieces that could be sold for more than a few jawbreakers.
Double D looked around, slightly concerned at what they had walked into as his two companions messed around with some of the oddities that were visible to the public. More specifically, the bear with the top hat.
"Hey, Double D, I think you were right, this place is a goldmine!" Eddy watched as Ed played with the bear as though it were drinking tea. "If this guy buys this much junk, we'll be rich!" He picked up some of the pocket watches, looking them over.
"Ed, Eddy, please, don't touch anything. That could be priceless." Double D almost felt a heart attack coming when he saw Ed lifting the huge bear over his head. "Let's show something that resembles manners before we're banned for life. Now, follow my lead. This man is bound to be a humble student of history." Double D rang the bell at the front desk.
"I'm coming, I'm coming, hold your horses there lads!" The owner of the shop appeared from the second floor, walking down the spiral staircase.
Despite the image that Double D had of the owner as an intelligent and cultured man, the man looked more at home in some back alley bar or pub from New York or London. He was a short heavy set man with short graying black hair, a goatee and eyes full of mischief. He reminded the Eds of an older Eddy. He wore a brown cabbie hat, a leather jacket and a buttoned up burgundy shirt and black pants.
"Good afternoon, lads. My name is Derek Trotter, owner of this fine establishment," Derek introduced himself. "Now, young sirs. How may I help you?"
"Hello sir, me and my confederates here were hoping to sell you some valuable items to yourself." Double D explained.
But the man wasn't convinced. He narrowed his eyes, looking Double D up and down like he was trying to understand what made him tick. He scratched his chin as he smirked.
"I see what you mean young man. But I'm sadly not sure I can give you a fair shake to what you're selling," Derek said. "I am sadly down on the dumps in terms of cash, but I can tell you exactly what you need and it isn't me buying your stuff. Tell me, have you felt like you're not tapping at your full potential? Like every idea you have isn't used as far as you'd hoped?" Derek looked at Double D with a smirk.
"Y-Yes, sir! Often our ventures fall short despite our best attempts." Double D could feel like the man was talking to his soul.
"Dream too big? Poppycock. There's always the little detail, ain't it?" Derek asked.
"Exactly! Like there was this one time we thought we had everything ready and then boom, it all fell apart." Double D admitted. "Works sailing park experience."
"Then I got the thing for you." Derek pulled out a large, bulky computer with Russian words on it. "This here is a magnificent piece straight from behind the iron curtain, it is the Magabloz Automaton 9500. Capable of putting all your thoughts, plans, and archives in such a light package that you can carry it all over in your backpack. And since I figure you travel with dangerous company, it can withstand a runaway Russian tank."
"I'll take it!" Double D was about to jump over the counter, only for Eddy to catch him.
"Nice try, old man. But we both know that it'll cost my friend an arm and a leg to even lift that thing." Eddy smirked. "That thing probably has more bugs than a greenhouse and it'll be impossible to fix since most people don't even carry it."
"You are the sharp one of the trio I see. Pleasure to meet a fellow scammer." Derek held his hand out and Eddy shook it. "Now, what can I do for you lads?"
"How much of our junk can you buy, fair warning, we got lots of buyers." Eddy cleaned his nails, looking pretty chill.
"Is that why you came to this humble shop?" Derek asked. "You're hoping for fast cash ain't ya?"
"Sad but true. What can we trade for some of our junk?" Eddy getured to their things.
"A trade? I think I've got something for you lads." Derek pulled out a large box filled with stuff. "Belonged to a man, a man by the name of Rodderick Tumble. He was an explorer, who went all over the world with his team and rumors say that he saw and found countless treasures throughout his life. This box came to my possession through no small effort on my end, but for the right trade, it's yours."
The Eds looked at each other, looking at what the box might contain but also at all the stuff they were willing to part with. True, to most it looked like junk, probably was, but it was theirs. But they were broke enough that a gamble could give them the chance of a greater treasure. They opened their bags and Derek started looking over what they had.
Derek kept his eyes on the pieces, picking up a few of them to examine them up close. Each piece would give him some good money if he needed it. And others, he could make even more money from the next man or woman that crossed that door. He narrowed his eyes and then came to a conclusion.
"Lads, you've got yourselves a trade." Derek smiled.
The Eds put down the box back at the abandoned van before opening it up.
"There better be something useful in here." Eddy picked up a few of the tools inside the box.
"Eddy, some of this stuff is amazing! A collector would pay some good money for some of this stuff!" Double D gasped at a journal at the bottom of the box. "This journal looks like it's been all over the world.
Double D opened the journal and began reading its pages. He found himself immersed in the stuff. It was written like those old novels his father sometimes saw in movies. It spoke of adventure between the author, Rodderick Tumble, and his gang of friends. Each and every page spoke of things that Double D could only dream of. Daring escapes, impassable mountain ranges, intrepid bank heists, murder mysteries in the middle of the jungle, you name it.
"Oh, creepy amulet like from the movies!" Ed pulled up a nasty looking Tiki necklace.
"Yeah, but no jewels or diamonds to speak of," Eddy groaned. "Hey, Double D, got something good between the pages? Like some bills between them?"
Double D didn't respond, he was staring into the journal like his life depended on it.
"Sockhead?" Eddy tapped Double D on the shoulder. "You're starting to scare me, man."
Double D's eyes scanned the pages once more, noticing a pattern, a set of instructions that made him double back. He'd read about this many times, but never thought it would be possible or an actual thing. Yet, he was holding onto it. What he had in his hands was probably the real deal.
"G-G-G-Guys…" Double D turned to his friends. "Rodderick Tumble moved to Peach Creek sixty years ago before passing away. B-B-But if I'm reading this correctly, he left something behind before he died."
Eddy and Ed looked at each other.
"Double D, what are you saying?" Eddy asked.
"A treasure, Eddy! Rodderick Tumble left an actual treasure of all his adventures! A real life treasure!" Double D showed them the journal and the bits of a drawn map. "There's a code in here and if the pages are right, then we're talking-!"
"A huge fortune of jawbreakers!"