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Chapter Four—Living With Sirius Black

"I still don't like you."

"That's fine. I don't like you, either."

Black pauses. Theo doesn't bother glancing up from the cup of tea in front of him, which he's sipping while he flips through the Prophet. Even they seem to have got bored of running the same story about how Harry is missing over and over again. Instead, they're speculating on what Crouch was doing at Hogwarts, why the Ministry didn't see anyone take Harry, and why the security on the Third Task failed.

Theo rolls his eyes. "What security?" he mutters. His father, a Death Eater with a blazing black Dark Mark, walked straight onto the school's grounds.

"You know Harry would turn against you if I really told him to."

Oh, a power play. Theo leans back in his chair and gives Black a thin smile. "Why? You already admitted there's no crimes you can hold against me. And I'm the one who rescued him from the abusive home Dumbledore planned to leave him in."

Black's jaw tightens, and he slumps into the chair across the table, tapping his fingers restlessly. "You manipulated him."

"I manipulated the situation. I manipulated myself, too. I thought I would never have a reason to notice Harry, but then I learned I did."

"You admit it was manipulation?"

"I just used the word, didn't I? But it's not the kind you're talking about, where I made him fall in love with me for some nefarious purpose." Theo blows across the surface of his tea, which is still steaming hot, thanks to some charms on the cups. Earthenware they might be, but his mother favored them. "I manipulated myself."

"And the distance he feels from Ron and Hermione?"

"I didn't make Weasley believe Harry put his name in the Goblet. He came up with that on his own long before I entered the picture. And I didn't make Granger insist that Harry had to accept Weasley's apology."

"Ron has always been Harry's friend."

"He still is."

Black is looking increasingly confused. (Then again, Theo doesn't think it takes much effort to get him to that state). Theo sips some more tea and gives Black another bland smile. Black frowns harder and harder at him, and thumps one hand on the table.

"You didn't promote their friendship. You didn't tell Harry he should stay friends with Ron and Hermione at all costs."

"Of course not. Why would I do that?"

"They're his friends!"

"And I'm his boyfriend. But I think you wouldn't try to promote our relationship at all costs."

Black snarls and transforms into a dog. If he planned a dignified exit, he rather ruins it by needing to scramble about on the chair so that he can get off it and reach the floor. Theo hides his laughter in his tea as he watches Black pad out of the room.

"Good morning, Theo."

There's a slight constraint in Harry's voice. Theo ignores it as he turns and smiles at Harry. "Good morning."

Harry comes the rest of the way into the dining room and sits down in Black's chair without taking his eyes off Theo. Theo sips his tea and smiles back. If Harry wants to talk about what just happened, they can talk about it, but Theo isn't about to apologize when Black was the one who acted childish.

"Why do you hate him so much?" Harry asks finally, after piling his plate with eggs and bacon and a scone that looks as though it's about to fall over. The house-elves made that one weirdly.

Of course Harry would adopt the weird-looking scone, Theo thinks, and manages to smooth his face out before he gives Harry the soppy smile he wants to. "Because he could have helped you, and chose not to."

"He's on the run from the law."

"I meant during the Tournament. Even just writing you a letter so that you had someone else to talk to would have helped. Maybe you would have worked through your arguments with Weasley and Granger or figured out who Moody was earlier if he'd been around."

Harry frowns a little and puts more marmalade on his scone, thinking. Then he says, "He hates you too."

Theo just shrugs. He's not surprised, and again, if Black wants to talk it out, he'll have to do that instead of running away in dog form the minute Theo jabs a nerve.

"I did have a long talk with him last night."

"Oh? What about?"

Harry exhales. "That he didn't write to me. He really did think it was too dangerous. Thought his owls would get intercepted. But also, he said—he said he was sure that I had it under control because I would have help from Dumbledore, and Ron and Hermione."

Theo smothers the smirk he wants to give. Black loves Harry, but he is childish. In his faith in Gryffindors, if nothing else. "What did he say when you told him that they hadn't been much help?"

"He just—stared at me as if he couldn't believe it. As if he couldn't understand why Ron and Hermione wouldn't have believed me immediately."

Theo nods. He's going to be the reasonable one here, he sees. It's not a bad position to be in. He doesn't want Harry to suffer because Black is an idiot. Even if sometimes it seems as though Harry would be better off if the whole lot of Gryffindors who have failed at protecting him and helping him this year just fucked off.

"Well, continue telling him the truth about what it was really like. I don't think Black is stupid." Just naïve, gullible, hot-tempered, impulsive… "I think that he'll be on your side sooner or later."

"He said something…"

"Yes?"

"He said that he couldn't believe Ron and Hermione would have betrayed me, because that's not what best friends do to each other. And then I reminded him of Pettigrew. He looked as though he'd eaten a whole wormy apple."

Theo bites his lips so he won't smile, but Harry has already seen and is grinning at him. At least that's better than the quiet uncertainty that seems to have taken over his actions since Black showed up at the house. "I don't think he likes being reminded that there are exceptions to the rules and nuances all over the place."

"Probably not." Harry takes a bite of his bacon, chews for a minute, and finally asks, "Do you think that he'll ever come around? Really accept you and really accept that I'm still friends with Ron and Hermione and I'm not on Voldemort's side just because you're my boyfriend? Really and truly?"

"Yes," Theo says. "He cares for you too much not to. It's just that he's pretty morally inflexible and doesn't like things oversetting his preconceptions." Why do I have be the advocate for Gryffindors I don't even like instead of them advocating for themselves?

But then he sees Harry's blinding smile, and he knows why.


Theo stands quietly by the fireplace in his father's formal receiving room. Both Harry and Black offered to be with him while he does that, although not out of the same motives, of course. But Theo reminded them of what's at stake here.

They can't trust the Minister who tried to have Black Kissed on sight and who's denying any rumors of Voldemort's return. They can't trust Dumbledore to worry about getting Black a trial when he's more concerned with where Harry went. They can't trust anyone except those who can be forced to concede that getting Black a trial is in their best interest.

And those allies of Theo's—allies of his father's, in truth—won't react well to seeing two of the biggest Gryffindors to ever be Sorted standing in Theo's receiving room.

The fire flares green. Theo turns to face it and arranges himself in a stance he hasn't had to use in months. In almost a year, in fact, since he was home for last summer. But he has to look challenging and cold and controlling now, to prove himself to those allies and make them his.

The woman who steps out of the fire is neither young nor old, to look at her face, but she has white hair. Her skin is dark, and her hands clasp her wand, and she simply looks at Theo and waits. Theo admires her poise. He learned to copy it at his father's insistence.

"Thank you for coming, Madam Guy," Theo says quietly, with a half-nod that's not a bow, because Alexandria Guy considers such things pretentious. "I have a situation I would like your help with."

"You? And not your father?"

Theo stares at her and lets the part of him that he won't ever let Harry see unless he has to surface in his face. Madam Guy arches her eyebrows.

"I killed my father a week ago."

Madam Guy stands still now, and Theo can see her considering her options. On the one hand, retreat back through the fire wouldn't lose her any face, since her alliance was with the father, not the son. On the other, she'll lose any part she could have in earning favors or wealth from Theo going forwards.

"Why did you kill him?" she finally asks.

"He was trying to kill me."

Madam Guy's eyebrows rise again. "He was always talking about how you were his legacy, his one chance to make a mark in the world."

"Yes, he said that often. He also told me that I was weak, that I would shame him if I ever opened my mouth in public, and that my fate was his to decide."

Theo isn't going to suffer from sharing this information, either. His father said that, but his father is dead. His father was wrong. If an ally truly can't see that, then Theo will le them go gracefully, but he'll give them the opportunity to consider what he's offering first.

Madam Guy's fingers tap on her wand. She says finally, "Your father was my ally because he ensured that certain nasty rumors about me died, and because I could provide him with useful information from my work in the Ministry archives. What can you offer me? What would you need from me?"

Theo keeps his triumph to a half-smile. "I can provide you with much the same services, Madam Guy. My father kept extensive files." Let her wonder what they say. "I am sure I can use that material, and connections of my own, to keep any rumors about you from spreading. And I have immediate need of some documents from the archives."

"Oh?" Madam Guy's tells are subtle, including just a slight twitch of one cheek, but Theo can tell he's intrigued her. Father would never have requested immediate documents; he was all about letting things play out to a certain extent before making a request that he would have planned long before.

Theo, partner to a hunted Gryffindor, doesn't have that luxury.

"The documents relating to Sirius Black's trial," Theo says, and stares, and waits for her to speak.

The Daily Prophet will have spread the story far enough by now for Madam Guy to draw her own conclusions if she wants to. She blinks and studies him quietly, and then her eyebrows rise far enough that Theo feels a little honored. It's not everyone who would get to see her react like this, after all.

"You intend to give him a trial."

"Yes," Theo says. He stores away the knowledge that Madam Guy knew Black didn't have one already. There will be others who knew, too, and that might provide an avenue of blackmail, or of escape if Dumbledore is foolish enough to try and prevent the trial. Theo doesn't really think he would, at least not on the grounds of morality, but it's entirely possible that he has unfathomable motives of his own. Theo won't pretend to understand Albus Dumbledore the way he does other Gryffindors.

"This will be most interesting," Madam Guy says, and she gives him a smile, something she's never done all the time that Theo's known her. "And for the sake of the chaos that it will sow in the Ministry when you come forwards with the documentation, I will do this without a trade of favors."

"You are sure you don't wish one." Theo doesn't bother to keep the doubt out of his voice. If they can't deal honesty, then he needs to know that now, and come up with other tactics to make sure he can keep Harry and Black safe.

"Yes." And Madam Guy laughs, a pealing sound that transfixes Theo for a second and makes him think that, if he hadn't already made his choice, he might wish she was younger. "This will be glorious. I cannot wait to see the Minister scramble. And so many others."

"Why didn't they give him a trial the first time around?" Theo might ascribe dark motives to Dumbledore that aren't entirely accurate, but Cornelius Fudge wasn't Minister then. He couldn't have had the same motives he has now to have opposed the trial.

"They were careless. Angry. That motivation applies to the Chief Warlock, at least." Madam Guy shrugs one shoulder. "He was so angry that someone could betray their friends that he didn't look into the matter properly."

Theo half-smiles again. That does sound like a more comprehensible motive for Dumbledore than keeping Black in prison simply because it would allow him to keep control of Harry. "I see."

"And now…" Madam Guy is looking at the wall behind Theo, obviously seeing visions that she doesn't deign to share with him. "Now it will embarrass people who had no involvement in the original trial, but who have dedicated themselves to appearing always right. And who might have snubbed me for no reason in the near past."

She has to be talking about Fudge. Theo smiles fully this time. "I am grateful to have handed you the means of embarrassing him."

"I will remember it, Mr. Nott," Madam Guy says, and gives him a long, long look, as if memorizing his features and calculating his differences from his father, before she turns and steps back through the fire.

Theo relaxes with a smile.


"Ready?" Theo asks, stepping out of the way.

"Ready." Harry's face is pale, but he still grips his wand and aims at it at the Transfigured rat tethered to the small patch of ground in front of him. Theo takes another step back and rests a hand on Harry's shoulder.

"Think of it as Pettigrew, if you have to," Theo whispers into Harry's ear, and notices the way his hand tightens on the wand. "Hit him as hard as you have to. Remember that it was a rock a few minutes ago. It's not a real rat."

"Thinking of it as Pettigrew and thinking of it as a Transfigured rock seem like contradictions," Harry mutters, but he faces the rat again and exhales, eyes fixed on it. Then his wand moves in a quick circle, the motion that Theo made him practice in front of a mirror until he got it perfect.

"Fons sanguinis!"

The spell leaves Harry's wand in a cascade of red light. It hits the rat, and the rat squeals and squeals and squeals and—

Explodes.

Theo drags Harry out of the way with a heavy hand on his shoulder, and Harry shivers against him. Then he stares down at the tatters of flesh on the ground and the blood that's flown over a meter away, and swallows.

"I—is this really better than the Killing Curse?" Harry whispers.

"What's better depends on the circumstance, the person, the spell used," Theo whispers, and slides his fingers gently through Harry's hair. "I would never ask you to cast this again if it's not something you want. But I thought that, given your history with the Killing Curse, this might be better."

Harry stands silently in his arms, staring at the destroyed rat. Then he says, "And it was a Transfigured animal."

"Yes." Theo turns Harry around with gentle pressure on his shoulders and gazes into his face. He has the impression that Harry's grown since they came here, but maybe it's just that he's grown a little grimmer and there are more shadows in his green eyes. "I won't lie to you, though. Eventually you'll be using this curse against opponents who aren't. You can't get stuck on thinking it's all harmless, or you'll freeze when you have to use it for real."

"But…you told me to think about how it was just a Transfigured rock."

"To get you past the shock of your first casting. It won't be a tactic you can use all the time."

Harry nods, and turns around to stare at the deceased rat. Theo lets him look. He's in favor of Harry doing whatever he needs to to get used to the potentially horrible spells he'll have to cast and the definitely horrible situations he'll be in.

He's in favor of doing whatever is necessary so that Harry can survive.

"Harry!"

Harry reacts defensively, ducking and raising a shield above his and Theo's head with one movement of his wand. Theo spins around so that his back is to Harry's and he can watch both directions, raising his wand.

But it's only Black, standing there and staring at them with an expression of shocked horror on his face. Theo wonders whether Black saw Harry cast and has been waiting this long to approach them. Probably, or else he would be blaming Theo for the aftermath of the spell instead.

"Why did you do that spell?" Black whispers. "That's Dark Arts."

Theo opens his mouth, but Harry's elbow lands heavily in his ribs. Theo takes the hint and shuts up. Apparently Harry wants to handle this conflict on his own, as much as Theo would love to do it for him.

"Because this is what I need to do to survive, Sirius." Harry takes a step towards Black. His voice is low and passionate, his eyes dry. "I'll probably need to do a lot worse."

"But you've survived terrible situations so far, and you never needed to do this! You just needed good luck and your friends! And a Patronus, the last time." Black raises miserable eyes to Harry's face. Theo is shocked to see tears standing in them. This goes deeper for Black than just kneejerk disapproval of the Dark Arts, then. "You could just keep on going like that!"

"I want to live, Sirius."

"Of course I know that, Harry. I want you to live. But not lose yourself, the way my brother lost himself—"

That's intriguing, and Theo would like to know more, but Harry cuts across Black's explanation. "I won't live if I just keep casting charms and assuming everything will be fine. I would have died in the Chamber of Secrets if not for the coincidence of Fawkes bringing the Sorting Hat and the Sword of Gryffindor. I could have died facing Quirrell my first year. I didn't even know my mother's protection would hurt him like that! And Theo is the one who saved me in the graveyard. I could have died there, too."

"I'll—if I get free, Harry, I'll do whatever I can to protect you—"

"But you can't be there with me at Hogwarts all the time, Sirius. And most of the dangerous stuff I faced was at Hogwarts." Harry takes a deep breath. "And you know that Voldemort won't stop coming no matter what. So I have to be ready to face him."

"Not by using Dark Arts!"

"What will protect me, then?"

"Hexes, jinxes—you don't need to know curses—"

"Yes, I do." Harry folds his arms. "I know it means a lot to you to keep me innocent, Sirius, and I wish I could stay that way. I wish I could stay that way." His weary voice claws at Theo's brain. "But I can't. I have to do this. I can't ask other people to take the brunt for me all the time. No one else has died yet, but someday, someone will. And I can't live with that guilt. I'll take the lesser guilt of the Dark Arts instead."

Black stares at him with heartbroken eyes. Then he turns into a dog and runs back to the house.

Theo sighs. He hopes Black can accept what Harry needs to do, because he obviously means so much to Harry.

But it's to Theo that Harry turns now, burying his head in Theo's chest, and Theo who accepts and cradles him.

Theo, who will be there no matter what.