Field Trips, Flirting, and Friendship, a my little pony fanfic

Applejack tightened the straps on her saddlebags as she stood outside the School of Friendship, watching a gaggle of young ponies, griffons, changelings, and dragons chatter excitedly. The morning sun bathed the courtyard in golden light, and everything seemed peaceful. Too peaceful.

"Alright, young'uns, listen up!" Applejack called, stamping a hoof to get their attention. "Today's field trip is all about workin' together, respectin' each other, and learnin' how friendship can help in any situation. Y'all are gonna be explorin' White Tail Woods, doin' some team-buildin' exercises, and—"

"Having so much fun!" Fluttershy added sweetly, fluttering beside Applejack.

Applejack sighed. "Sure, fun too, but mostly—"

Pop!

A swirl of light flashed beside Fluttershy, and Discord appeared, wearing a bright green scout leader's hat and an oversized whistle around his neck. "And, of course, what's a field trip without a bit of chaos?" he announced, blowing the whistle—which, instead of making noise, rained confetti all over the students.

The class cheered. Applejack groaned.

"Discord," she muttered through gritted teeth. "What are you doin' here?"

"Why, supporting my dear Fluttershy, of course!" Discord draped an arm around her, grinning. "And lending my expertise in guiding these fine students through the wonders of nature."

Fluttershy giggled. "Oh, Applejack, isn't he wonderful? He just wants to help."

Applejack didn't trust Discord's definition of "help." But before she could argue, she saw the eager looks on the students' faces. They were already excited—if she shut Discord down, it might just set a bad example.

"Fine," Applejack grumbled. "But if I catch you causin' any trouble, you're goin' right back to wherever you came from!"

"Oh, Applejack," Discord said, floating lazily beside Fluttershy. "Your trust in me is just so refreshing."

"Alright, everycreature!" Applejack called, ignoring him. "Let's move out!"

As the group trotted into the woods, Applejack kept an eye on the students while explaining survival tips. What she didn't expect was how much she'd have to deal with Fluttershy and Discord's incessant flirting.

"Discord, you didn't have to float all the way up there just to pick me that flower," Fluttershy said with a blush.

"Nonsense, my dear! Only the best flowers for my dearest Fluttershy!" Discord declared, handing her a glowing, sparkling flower that changed colors every few seconds.

Applejack, keeping an eye on Gallus and Smolder (who were clearly sneaking off), huffed. "Can y'all maybe focus on the students instead of makin' goo-goo eyes at each other?"

"Aw, Applejack," Fluttershy said gently. "Isn't it nice to set a good example of kindness and care?"

"Not when I'm tryin' to make sure Sandbar don't get his hoof stuck in another rabbit hole!"

Suddenly, a shriek echoed through the forest.

Applejack whipped around. "What in tarnation—?!"

Sandbar had climbed onto a wobbly tree branch to get a better look at a bird's nest. The branch snapped.

Before Applejack could react, Discord simply stretched out his arm, caught Sandbar in midair, and gently lowered him to the ground.

"Careful, young one!" Discord tsked, patting the colt's head. "We wouldn't want to lose any students on this trip. Applejack might never recover."

Applejack sighed. "Thanks, Discord."

"You do know how to say it!" Discord grinned. "See, Fluttershy? She does like me!"

Fluttershy giggled, and Applejack groaned.

It was going to be a long field trip.

After a few hours of hiking, Applejack called for a break. She desperately needed one.

As the students spread out, Discord hovered beside Fluttershy, snapping his fingers to clear leaves from her path.

"Oh, Discord," Fluttershy giggled, "you really don't have to do that."

"Why should my delicate darling have to step over pesky nature when she can walk a perfectly clear path?"

Applejack stomped a hoof. "For pony's sake! Y'all do realize we're on a field trip, not a honeymoon?!"

Gallus and Smolder snickered behind her.

"My, my, Applejack," Discord purred, floating upside down next to her. "You're awfully invested in my relationship with Fluttershy. Jealous, perhaps?"

Applejack recoiled. "What?!"

Silverstream clapped her talons together. "Wow! You two bicker almost like siblings!"

Applejack and Discord both froze.

"What?" they said at the same time.

"Like a super-close brother and sister who always get on each other's nerves but secretly love each other! Aww, it's adorable!"

Applejack shuddered. Discord actually recoiled in horror.

"Fluttershy, please tell me she did not just compare me to Applejack's brother," Discord pleaded.

Fluttershy covered her mouth with a hoof, shaking with silent laughter.

Applejack groaned. "That's it. Next field trip? I'm bringin' Rarity instead."

"Oh, please," Discord snorted. "Rarity would encourage me! At least you put up a fight."

Applejack sighed. This was going to be a long trip.

By the time they returned, Applejack stormed into the School of Friendship, heading straight for Twilight, Starlight, and Spike.

"Never. Again."

Twilight blinked. "Applejack?"

Applejack slammed her hat onto a table. "I ain't jealous! But I just spent a whole day wranglin' students while listenin' to Fluttershy and Discord make kissy-eyes at each other, and I ain't doin' it again!"

Starlight smirked. "Sooo… does this mean you're ready to admit that Discord and Fluttershy are totally a couple?"

"I NEVER DOUBTED IT!" Applejack shouted.

Spike cackled. "This is gold!"

Twilight chuckled. "Well, at least everything went fine, right?"

Just then, Discord appeared in a pop of light, holding out a small bouquet of apple blossoms. "A token of appreciation, for putting up with me all day."

Applejack eyed him. "These ain't enchanted, are they?"

"…Alright, maybe they hum a romantic tune when you water them."

Applejack sighed, grabbed the flowers, and walked out.

A moment later, glowing words appeared on the petals:

"Applejack Third-Wheeling"

Applejack screamed.

From somewhere in the distance, Discord cackled.