Heaven

Winchester Barker

District 5 Female

Boom.

The cannon wakes me up. Another one died. Just the thought of it makes a chill run through my spine. I had never thought I would make it this far: when Klaus said we were both cannon fodder to get fed into the bloodbath I believed him. And I guess I still believed him, up until now.

I sigh and lay down again, looking up at the tree crowns. A bird chatters somewhere there up in the towering pine trees. I realize it's not even a day yet: the moon is still up there staring at me mockingly. Groaning, I turn to my side and close my eyes even if I know it's pointless; even if I try my hardest there is no hope of returning to sleep. Doesn't help that sleeping even when I'm about to collapse from exhaustion is a challenge. The moon has been ingrained into my mind at this point because of how much I have stared at it.

Although these past few nights the moon has been weird. It has gained an ominous red scar in the middle of it.

It is probably some weird gamemaker trick. Doesn't stop my anxiety from bubbling within me, but the weird moon hasn't done anything at this point. Yet. I sigh. This is not what I should be worrying about. Instead, I should think about what to do next. Even when I try to contemplate my future this past week I have been blocked by an invisible wall that smothers all my thoughts. Because I know what is most likely to happen to me and it scares me. However, this past night when I tried in vain to sleep I managed to find something. A mantra I can follow.

I just need to keep on moving forward.

I sit up, accepting defeat in my latest quarrel with sleep, and look over at Klaus. He is lying a few meters away from me with his back turned against me. I smile. Never did I think that the day would come when I would feel comforted seeing him next to me. But even if I would never admit it(I would never hear the end of it from Klaus) I am thankful I'm not alone.

I look down at the water bottle, which is half full. Should I give him water? We are not allies. I know that. But lately, I have been feeling more and more guilty about withholding supplies for him. It's not like I'm gorging on my food and water: I can spare some at least. Maybe as thanks. Thanks for talking to me. Thanks for saying that his boyfriend would like me.

Before I saw no point in it. We were both going to die. But here we are, the self-designated cannon fodder, making it to the final six. And even if we might still be dead, I just need to keep moving forward.

I pick up the water bottle and scuttle over to Klaus. I shake him a bit: "You can have water if you want."

No reaction.

A bit dismayed, I start shaking him rougher. Maybe his illness has knocked him out. However, I know from experience that he wakes up from even the slightest disturbance. It is far more likely that he is simply faking it, which would be very much something Klaus would do.

"You were the one who asked for it," I say, wagging him back and forth. Why isn't he saying anything? "You must be thirsty. I'll drink everything if you keep being quiet."

Then a simple, but obvious thought appears in my mind. I freeze and quickly scan his body, looking for movement or any other sign of activity. However, he's still like he's in deep sleep. He almost looks peaceful.

I almost feel a bit dizzy. I put my fingers on his neck.

No pulse.

Why it never crossed my mind when the cannon fired is beyond me. He was at death's door; I said it myself. Maybe I didn't want to think it was possible. Maybe I wanted to give him water for once.

I stand up and breathe out. I just need to keep on moving forward.

Would he have lived a little longer if I let him drink? Probably; it has been a while since he drank or ate anything. A voice in me tells me that it was pointless and that he died of sickness anyway - the small part of me that tries to calm me down. You never liked him anyway, it says. You have to worry about one less tribute now.

It tells me to just keep on moving forward.

But no matter how selfish or dumb I try to be like Klaus said I can't. I practically killed him by withholding water: no argument can convince me otherwise. The guilt gnaws on me from the very within. I might not spare any tears for him but it is tearing apart what's left of my conscience.

However. I just need to keep on moving forward.

So that's what I do. I walk over Klaus' body and start moving forward. Where? I don't know, maybe I'll walk straight into the cornucopia or a sleeping career. However, at least I am finally leaving this place. That rock and those three trees that I have spent such a long time around. This past week has been a blur; finding the river with Wilson felt like yesterday. A week of waiting to die.

I can't say that Klaus has been much of a help. Most of the time he just made me miserable. But he said one good thing amongst all the whining. One good thing that ignited a hope within me that I didn't know I had. When I was kicked out by my parents I thought everything was lost but I was picked up by my new father. He loved me. When I was reaped I had already given up on my life but then Wilson and Willow swept in. They liked me at least. When they died I didn't know what to do before I stumbled on Klaus. To be fair, he didn't like me and I didn't like him either, but he was there. I found him after wandering in the dark for what felt like an eternity.

Maybe I will find someone else if I just keep on moving forward.

I just need to keep on moving forward.

Blush Beaumont

District 1 Female

Next time will be different.

I grit my teeth as I trek through the rocky terrain. I'm close to the mountain now and the forest has only become more hilly as I made it further north. There are fewer trees here, which also means less bird chatter and a clearer sky. My new weapon weighs down my back as I walk over a group of rocks.

It was given to me as a sponsor gift in the morning after my confrontation with Remus. The weapon, which is now attached to my backpack, was not what I expected when I saw the silver parachute. Rather, it was sent with a single purpose: to kill Remus. Alexi too, but I don't consider him much of a threat.

The gift must have cost my sponsors a fortune. However, considering the tributes we are down to, I am not surprised. Remus most likely has a similar valuable gift. Our ranchers are propping us up for the final slaughter.

Noticing something on the ground, I fall on one knee and inspect it with my right hand. An animal track: from a large one too. I bite my lip. I should probably evacuate the area sooner rather than later.

However, what I also notice is a flesh of bright green scuttling under a rock a few meters away from me. I almost let myself forget about it before I realize where I have seen that shade of green before. Alarm bells start ringing in me, but then I get an idea. An idea to gain another weapon against Remus if what I saw is what I believe it is.

Carefully I sneak up to the rock, making sure to make as little noise as possible. Readying my knife, I turn over the rock. The little animal scuttles as fast as it speeds away in panic, but I'm even faster.

With a pleased smile, I hold up the lizard skewed on my knife. I was correct: this is a Galilei lizard. Their glands are poisonous, enough to kill a human in minutes if mixed correctly, but can also be used for perfumes(that are obviously harmless). Which also happens to be a great excuse to smuggle a large amount of said Galilei lizards to create poison for our syndicate.

Carefully I wrap the lizard in a piece of cloth and put it in the backpack. When it is time to fight Remus I can mix the poison with herbs I've found and coat my knife with it.

However, that assumes I even manage to get a hit in. I sigh, standing up and continuing deeper into the forest. For these past three days, I've been replaying the fight that night until it barely feels real to think about. What could I have done differently? Paid more attention to my surroundings while confirming my earlier kill? Run away? Use a different angle when charging him? Wait for his move first?

None of my solutions satisfy me. However, I refuse to stop until I find one. There must be a way.

That's a problem for future me, however. Rather, right now, I have a bigger issue at hand.

Said issue is a large bear I just walked into.

We stare at each other for a split second. "Holy shit," I mutter under my breath. Not good. I scramble my brain for any knowledge on how to not get mauled by a bear. Surely I must have picked up something? I think I saw a TV program about slowly walking backward? Or was it putting up my arms to make me seem bigger?

I decide to do both, putting up my arms and taking a step backward. That immediately backfires.

The brown bear stands up on two legs and growls. Its muscular body, covered in rough fur, towers above me like a giant. I had no idea bears were this big. Its dark eyes have no trace of empathy or any emotion at all. I swallow hard but try to keep myself calm. The only thing else I remember from that program is playing dead.

Well, it's not like I have any other cards to play.

I fall on my stomach like a ragdoll and quiet my breathing. Despite my hopes that it will leave, I instead hear it stroll up to me.

My heart starts beating faster as I hear its ragged breathing above me. It starts sniffing over me, seemingly unsure what I am - which doesn't make me feel any safer. I can't do anything but wait, hoping that this beast decides it isn't hungry today.

Once again, I am powerless. There is no point in analyzing this encounter in the future. There is nothing I can do, no one I can kill, that would stop me from being at the mercy of a wild animal's whims.

It's a feeling that frustrates me to the core. It is also one that has been far too familiar for me this past week.

Eventually, the bear wanders away leaving me to live for another day. I sit up and exhale, before cracking a smile. Well, power or whatever: I managed to survive, so I consider that a win in my book.

All I need to do is get enough of the wins until I'm free.

Alexi Atwater

District 4

"There you are!" I blurt out before I can stop myself.

The little boy from Two, who is sitting on the other side of the large glade, immediately turns around and yelps. Finally, I found you. However, he simply disappears within the fir trees while my knife follows him. Considering I didn't hear him fall to the ground, I assume I missed.

I follow him into the forest while cursing my boneheadedness. Sure, I could have probably sneaked up to him and not announced my position as the first thing I do, but who am I to stop my excitement? Or at least, I think it's my excitement. Could be adrenaline. It generally lingers on as an uncomfortable feeling, like I have done something dirty. I try my best to suppress those thoughts.

I don't consider myself a particularly good tracker, but it's almost like he's trying to be found with how many tracks he leaves behind. This is the second time I have caught up to him. And well, also the second time I missed. Technically the third time, if we count our first encounter. But it's the thought that matters in my opnion.

I had contemplated going back to the cornucopia until I found the river. Now, I do admit I'm not exactly a big-brained strategist, but I assumed that there might be a tribute taking shelter next to the stream. And I was right for once.

I take out a knife so I will be ready once I catch up. The boy from Eight was a good start but not much of a challenge. The fact that I can't even kill his ally who basically pisses his pants at the sight of me is a shame.

Don't tell me I lost him again, I think to myself with no sight of the boy. No, I know he went this way.

I wonder what Emerald would think of me running after the tribute. Would she be happy that we found another kill, one step closer to the end of the games, or would she disapprove? Probably something in the middle; she knew what was necessary to survive. Which is what I am doing now.

Whatever. I don't need thoughts like that. What I need to do is be a better warrior, a better career. I need to take down stronger tributes, those who actually pose a threat to me. I still haven't forgiven Remus and Blush for abandoning us just one night into the games.

At the time I didn't comprehend why they did it, but now I understand. I understand how these people think. They thought we were weak and unreliable, and how can I blame them? They volunteered expecting strong competition from Two and Four but had to settle for three reaped kids. I was hesitating, Emerald was hesitating and Olivia was definitely hesitating. We were thrown into the arena with no direction and no idea what to do. We were lost.

But I wish to tell Emerald that we were never lost. We always knew what to do, what we had to do: win the games. What did we train for but that? Maybe if she knew that - if she just stopped hesitating, she wouldn't have died.

At least she would have been proud of me

You would have to kill her eventually, a voice in my head tells me. I swallow hard and push the thought away. Of course, I know that: that came together with "win the games". Thankfully, she is dead, so I don't have to worry about those kinds of dilemmas.

I can just focus on winning.

I need to focus on winning. Like a strong career does. Like the ones in the stars.

In the back of my eye, I see movement. Aha. I dig my heels in and switch directions, wanting to seize the opportunity before it disappears. This time, I won't let the boy escape. Like a strong career. Pushing the fir branches away I raise my hand ready to throw the knife at-

I see movement again. This time it's him disappearing into a small cave.

Dejected, I lower my arm. Once again I managed to catch him and yet he hid in a hole like a little rat. At least he's stuck now, I try telling myself. That might be true, but waiting for him to come out of his hiding place will waste valuable time, and more importantly it will be incredibly boring.

I walk up and crouch next to the hole to try to inspect it further. It's surprisingly small; although if I wanted to I could make it down without too much problem. However, it would be dangerous - he could hit me with a stone or something. The cave also smells damp and… some sort of sweat? Or fur? Seems like some sort of animal den.

It suddenly dawns on me that the movement I saw might be an animal. Dammit. I grit my teeth. However, I don't have any other clues right now since I didn't see any other tracks while running through the forest. Whatever it is, animal or tribute, it has to eventually come out for food and I can finish it if I'm sneaky enough.

I have no clue what kind of beast lives - or lived - in this den. I never cared too much about animals when I was younger, so no bells rings in me.

Whatever. Once I kill it I might have some good dinner.

I sit down next to the den and let the waiting game begin. Most of the time I would consider this boring enough to kill me(which it still might be) but truth be told I'm tired. I have only slept one hour since I found the District Two boy: I deserve some rest. I can handle a few hours of waiting in my current state.

After all, it's either a fourteen-year-old boy or some dumb animal. What could possibly go wrong?

Casey Main

District 2 Female

Today it all ends.

I have one chance to get this right. If I fail, I am dead. I can't wield a bow anymore: my fingers have lost all sense of touch in them. I fear that they will fall off if I draw my bow. Despite that, I still have the weapon attached to my back, as it has always been through my journey up the mountain. It is a reminder of what I am. For the fight I've fought.

I can barely keep my eyes open as I sweep my eyes over the rest of the arena. Trees cover the ground as far as the eyes can reach. Only a few lakes that are far too far away for any tributes to reach and mountains on the horizon break up the forest. The cornucopia looks like a tiny ant colony down there.

This far up I can almost touch the stars.

The path I'm up on is tight; I have barely enough space to sit on. This is the highest I've managed to climb, even if it's only halfway to the summit, far higher than Suri would have accepted. But she is not here to judge my decision. Only I remain.

I cast a glance at the massive collection of loose snow below me. The reason why I climbed up here, despite the chill biting into my flesh. At a point, I had given up hope of finding a suitable location to execute my plan, but I have finally found it.

The howls are my cue to prepare for action. I stand up, the cold of the wind almost threatening to tear me apart. Up here it's even colder than the lower parts of the mountain, which I didn't even think was possible. However, I'm not even sure anymore. There are so many parts of my body that I have lost my sense of touch that I can't even tell how cold it is.

Soon, I tell myself. Soon I will go down to the warmth below.

The beasts, those disgusting, ugly mutts, appear below me. The only way up to me is through a large path that happens to also be positioned right below me. When they notice me they immediately start growling, staring hate and hunger into me. My eyes scan the horde until I find what I am looking for. The crystal lion with an arrow close to its eye and another one in the leg. Suri's killer.

No. The true killer is the Capitol.

I want to taunt them, stick out my tongue or something. But there's nothing. There is no emotion that I can plaster on my face when I kick the boulder down onto the loose snow.

I had feared that it might not work. After all, it is not like I can try. But the mass of snow barely needs a nudge for it to start moving. A storm of snow crashing down on its poor victims down below. In its wake, it leaves a thundering tremor that makes it sound like the earth is falling into itself.

For Suri, I think to myself. However, the words ring hollow. I am not doing anything for Suri: this is purely for my survival. No emotion of justice or guilt can trick me into believing otherwise.

Far too late the beasts realise what is happening. They try running away the way they came from but the tsunami of snow catches them before they even get close. Their cries are replaced by the roar of the avalanche as it sweeps them away. So easily the Capitol's beasts are buried in snow. For nine nights these beasts have arrived from the stars. In one avalanche they are all now gone.

Eventually, the world turns quiet. For the lion mutt,s there are no trace of them.

I look up in the sky and smile. You lost, the Capitol. How embarrassed they must look now after their desperate attempts to kill me off have failed so spectacularly. I know that they will send more, but I don't care. I will find a way to kill them just like I killed everyone else to this point. I will still be breathing. That is how I revolt.

Now, it is time to get down. Back to the trees and rivers.

I'm not sure how long the trek down will take, but what I do know is that every single second I spend not walking is a waste. So I begin my journey. The idea of escaping the cold fills me with anticipation, although I don't feel particularly cold anymore. If anything, I feel quite warm.

I realize I'm sweating.

I take off my jacket. There, much better.

Every step is a challenge through the thick snow, but I convince myself to keep on moving. The closer I get away from this god-forsaken mountain, the better. I don't recognize any twists or turns I make: why would I, considering I have spent these ten days doing nothing but running? The bare, ominous walls of the mountain and the pitiful trees are a sorry sight to see.

At some point, I'm starting to be unsure if I'm not lost. The paths fuse into one in my mind, seemingly looping around. I have to remind myself that as long as I go down I'm on the right path.

It doesn't help that I catch myself thinking that it's snowing because of how fuzzy my vision is. No, I can't let my senses fail me now.

I hug myself as I continue making my way down. Only once I'm hit by a headache do I take the signal to rest. Obviously, I can't return to the lowlands in just one day, so I can allow myself one pause. I've beaten the Capitol: I deserve it.

Leaning against the wall I let my shoulders relax. It starts snowing for real now, but whenever a snowflake lands on my bare arms I feel nothing. In fact, I feel nothing at all. It's like the rest of the world doesn't exist and all that I am left with is my mind. Doesn't help that this damn headache never seems to disappear.

I sigh and close my eyes. This sucks. All of this struggle for what? To return to District 2? Where they all hate me? No one in Two would miss me and there is no one that I miss. They would probably cheer if I died right now. Too bad for them: spite is the strongest motivator in existence. And they hate me for such a dumb reason: because I don't have a fucking tongue. Oh, look at Casey, she's an avox. Oh, look at her, she must be a rebel. Well, I didn't fucking choose to lose my ability to talk. And if they want me to be a rebel, then fine. I'll be one.

I crawl up behind my legs. Don't they get tired of hating me? Sometimes at night the idea that they are right crepes up on me: that I am a freak. However, if I ever considered those thoughts seriously I wouldn't survive.

I just wish they could leave me alone for a moment. Just one day where they don't hate me.

Then I see a figure in the snow.

Immediately I freeze. What do I do? I'm in no position to fight and they probably don't want an alliance this late into the games. But then I squint my eyes and realize that there is no one there. An illusion or a trick of the mind. Great.

I sit here for a few minutes before another illusion appears. This time there are two of them and they are a bit clearer. I'm going crazy. Maybe if I ignore them it will be alright. If it wasn't for this damn headache!

My vision is so fuzzy, even without the snow. I can barely make out what is real and what is my imagination: it becomes barely better when I close my eyes.

Slowly more and more illusions start to appear, and not just people, but also walls, tables, lamps, beds, and more. I think it's a room that is opening up to me, fusing with the landscape until I can't tell the difference.

What is happening? This headache is weird. It's almost like it is reorganizing my brain, digging and excavating everything that remains. It's painful. I don't like it.

The room has no windows. Concrete walls surround me with a single lamp on the roof, making me feel like I'm at an operating table. Bunker beds are spread out all over the room with a few downtrodden tables between them. And everywhere in the room there are children. Small children who can't be older than five. They are running around and playing with each other, without any humans in sight. However, I notice something.

The children aren't talking.

Fear starts rising in me. What's happening with me? Before I can think deeper an older woman appears. Suddenly, all the children stop playing and rush towards her. The moment she enters the room my heart makes a jump. An unexplainable feeling bubbles within me, a feeling I don't recognize. I want to get closer to her. I want to hug her leg.

When she smiles warmly towards the children I feel a pang of jealousy. Hello? What about me, who is suffering here? I realize I am shaking, but I don't put much thought into it. All my focus is on the women.

I just want her to notice me.

Eventually, she looks at me and my heart almost stops. We lock eyes for a second before she smiles just as warmly. It's like all the cold of the mountain vanishes, all my distrust washing away from me like water. Her smile fills me from toe to head with warmth, like sitting next to a campfire. I want to hug her. I want to spend all my time close to her. I know her: she is safe to trust.

She reaches out to me, still with her big smile. Tears are streaming down my face as I open my arms to embrace her.

Mommy.

Save me.

7th: Klaus Harg, District 5 Male, died of food poisoning.

6th: Casey Main, District 2 Female, died of hypothermia.