The Purple Stuff 2
"Wait!" Momo exclaimed. "If you were that powerful and had that wide a variety of powers, why didn't you use it to save yourself? I hardly think death was preferable to revealing it."
"No idea," I replied and shrugged.
"Do you have a diary in your ki pocket?" Momo asked, guessing that would be the best place to keep an item secured.
I pulled the tray out and set it on the table followed by a glowing golden vial, a briefcase, a long sword, and a number of MREs.
"How many of those do you have?" Denki asked.
I stopped and looked at the pile that was covering half the table. "I can't see an end to them," I replied with a shrug.
"The expiration date on them is 2025?" Denki asked in confusion.
"Yeah, but while in a ki pocket they don't age," I told him.
"Dude, it's 2398 right now," Denki said.
"Did you time travel?" Deku asked.
"Not that I know of," I replied. "Maybe I stuffed all of this in it in my past life."
"Past life?!" came a confused chorus.
"Yeah, ki pockets are connected to your soul," I replied.
"The more questions I ask the less sense this all makes," Momo said.
I shrugged. "Yeah, life can be like that sometimes."
"What's this?" Jiro asked, holding up the glowing golden vial.
"A potion that gives you the voice of an angel," I replied as I examined the briefcase, not sure what the code was for the combination.
"What?" she asked numbly.
"I can't remember the combo," I complained. "Anyone have any guesses?"
"Just break it open," Bakugo suggested
"Pretty sure it's unbreakable," I replied.
"Why do you have a potion that gives you the voice of an angel?" Jiro asked.
"It goes with the singing sword," I replied, wondering how many possible combos there were to open the briefcase.
Music began to play, a heavy metal beat coming from all around and everyone turned to see Jiro holding the sword and staring at it in disbelief.
Jiro set the sword down. "How?" she demanded.
I gave her a dry look.
"Amnesia," she groaned out and banged her head on the table.
"I'm pretty sure All Might could open the briefcase," Deku said.
I frowned. "I think the briefcase is conceptually unbreakable."
The bell rang signaling the end of lunch and I quickly put everything away.
"It all just vanished," Momo said in disbelief.
"Come on, we've got to get to class," I said and stood up, "and I don't know where it is."
"I have even more questions now," Momo told me.
"Which I probably don't know the answers to," I reminded her.
"This is probably even more frustrating for you," Momo said, eyes softening.
"No, not really," I replied as we dumped our food trays, "I'm sure I'll remember everything eventually, so stressing over it is a waste of time."
"You're more laid back than I'd be in your situation," Mina said.
I shrugged. "It's just a matter of time, I can be patient."
Classroom 1A
Eraser Head was asleep on the floor in a sleeping bag as we all filed into class and took our seats, Deku directing me to mine.
The bell rang and our teacher woke up, slipping out of his bag and standing up. "Good afternoon class," Eraser Head said tiredly, "today you'll be practicing hand to hand combat training with-"
"I am here!" All Might declared as he entered the room, his voice booming out.
He looked ten feet tall to my short ass. 'Man, I hate being short.'
"Him," Eraser Head said dryly. "Go change and meet us in the gym."
The teens quickly hurried to the locker rooms to change into their Hero uniforms, knowing their homeroom teacher did not like wasting time.
I opened my locker and took out the case holding my hero outfit… and slammed it shut once I saw the contents. "No," I decided and put it away.
"No?" Iida asked in disbelief.
"I'd rather fight naked than wear that," I told him bluntly.
"Um… I know you don't remember, but if you aren't in uniform you'll be used as sparring practice to make sure you never forget your uniform again," a spiky red head said.
I nodded. "Death before the diaper," I told him.
Bakugo laughed.
"Dude, you're manly," the spiky red head said in awe. "You're probably going to die-"
"Or at least wish you were dead," Denki said, interrupting him.
"-but no one can doubt your manliness!" the red head finished as he pulled on a ragged looking black vest that left his chest bare.
I stripped down and put on workout clothes, a simple white t-shirt, blue shorts, and sneakers.
"Not going to say anything?" Sero asked Iida.
"No," their glasses wearing speedster said, "Sensei Aizawa was very clear in his instructions that by choosing to not wear your costume meant sparring with him. So Mineta isn't breaking any of the rules."
"Huh, I hadn't thought of it like that," Deku said, "I thought it was a threat."
"It was, idiot," Bakugo said and rolled his eyes, "but it was also a chance to face a hero… I call dibs on it next time!"
Denki turned to me. "Protect your head, I'm pretty sure you haven't fully healed up there yet."
"I'll be fine," I assured him as we left the locker room, joining the girls as we headed for the gym.
"Problem with your costume?" Momo asked. "Did they not repair it?"
"It's a unitard and a diaper," I replied. "You couldn't pay me enough to wear it."
"It wasn't that bad, ribbit," the frog girl said, dressed in a green and black wetsuit.
"You know, normally you'd be leering at us," Mina pointed out.
"I'm leering on the inside," I said dryly, and smiled as the girls laughed.
"I appreciate it," Momo told me. "My quirk requires me to have my stomach and a good portion of my chest uncovered, and while your leering did help me get over any lingering shyness, it was… uncomfortable."
"Yeah, the only girl you didn't leer at was Toru and I'm pretty sure you were working on a way to perv on her too," Mina joked.
I glanced over at the transparent girl and almost tripped, taking a moment to compose myself before saying, "How are gloves and boots a costume? I mean it's very distracting, but… it has almost zero armor value."
"That's why my training is really concentrated on evasion," Toru said cheerfully. "You can't hit what you can't see."
"Area attacks and lucky blows are still a thing, not to mention you aren't hiding your chi at all," I told her. "We need to get you some kind of armor, maybe teach you the Iron Cloth technique and work our way up to Breaking Point training."
"You can sense me even if I'm not wearing underwear?" she asked, surprised.
"All living things radiate chi," I told her.
"You can sense all of us?!" Deku asked excitedly.
"Easily," I replied as we entered the gym to find Eraser Head and All Might waiting for us.
"Mineta," Eraser Head said with a tired sigh. "I know your costume was repaired."
"I don't know whose idea it was to dress me in purple spandex and a diaper, but I'm not wearing it," I told him as the class split off to go with All Might to the other side of the gym, All Might giving me a look of pity.
"It was yours," Eraser Head said dryly with a deadpan stare from his bloodshot, tired eyes.
I frowned. "Are we sure I didn't have brain damage before the accident?"
Eraser Head paused and looked thoughtful. "No," he admitted.
"You look like you could use some sleep," I told him.
"You have chosen not to wear your hero costume, there is a price to be paid for that," he told me as he stepped onto the sparring mat.
"I'm fine with that," I assured him. "I need the exercise. I feel rusty and out of shape."
"I hope you know what you're doing," Eraser Head said, "I can't afford to take it easy on you, because the villains won't."
I smiled and let my battle aura kindle, testing my chi flows. Eraser Head's eyes widened slightly, apparently able to sense it as he locked his gaze on me. It made the weird ball things I had for hair tingle a little.
I leaned back to avoid a kick, tapping his heel as it went past to unbalance him which he used to transfer the motion to his other leg as he tried to foot sweep me.
A short hop, slammed a kick into his side, and sent him skidding back as he rolled to reduce the momentum. Coming back to his feet he must have realized he'd underestimated me because his next attack was at three times the speed.
Block, deflect, redirect, attack, we slowly sped up with me adjusting my speed to just above his. His techniques were polished but crude by my standards and as I worked out the kinks I set about correcting him.
"What the fuck?" Bakugo said numbly as the entirety of class 1A forgot about anything but the battle they were watching.
"How?" All Might asked, just as shocked as he watched a long time professional hero and a student demonstrate speed and skill a level beyond what should have been possible.
"We're not sure," Deku offered. "His quirk isn't what we thought it was, plus he has a ton of three hundred year old MREs in something he calls a ki pocket. He has amnesia and can't explain it either. We were trying to figure it out all through lunch."
"Are we sure he's Mineta?" All Might asked.
"Between all the tests he went through with Recovery Girl and what little he does remember, I'm split between time traveler and reincarnation," Deku admitted.
"Seriously?" All Might asked.
"Yeah," Deku said. "Of course we only had a little while to work on the problem and maybe the briefcase he has in his ki pocket will reveal more."
"Briefcase?" All Might asked, and winced as Mineta used Eraser Head's own capture scarf to body slam the pro hero.
"He said it was conceptually unbreakable and he can't remember the combo, but there are only one million possible combinations and with a mechanical dialer testing a new combo every three seconds-" Deku rattled off.
"Nerd," Bakugo interrupted absently.
Deku blushed and cleared his throat. "It'd take a little over a month and three days to try them all. So if it is actually unbreakable it would still be possible to open it in that time frame."
"I have yet to find anything I could not break," All Might said, a trace of smugness leaking through his smile.
"I'm warmed up… a bit tired and could use a good meal," I decided, as I took in Eraser Head's exhausted state. "I'm going to put you to sleep now."
"You may actually succeed," Sensei Aizawa admitted. "Make sure I'm resting in a comfortable position and report to All Might for the rest of class."
"Yes sensei," I agreed, bowing slightly before appearing behind him as he attempted to take advantage of my perceived moment of inattention and tapping the back of his neck to knock him out. I used his capture scarf to form a pillow that I laid his head on and pulled the hood hidden in his jacket over his face so the light wouldn't be in his eyes.
"How much energy did you use?" Deku asked eagerly, in a low voice.
"Relax, he won't wake up for at least an hour," I told the green haired teen in his hero costume which looked like a bunny suit but was obviously a homage to All Might with his weird anime hair antennas. "I used maybe ten percent of what I absorbed from Mina."
"They really are nuclear reactors," the frog girl said in disbelief as she stared at Mina's chest and the girl in question laughed.
"My tits are atomic!" Mina cheered.
"I can't wait to fight you," Bakugo said, "and I never imagined I'd ever say that. Are you sure you're Mineta?"
"That's what everyone and the fragments of the memories I have tell me," I replied.
"You could have knocked him out at any time," All Might noted.
"Yeah, but that's not how sparring works," I replied. "If I just knocked out all my opponents in the first few seconds of the fight they wouldn't learn anything."
"How good are you?" Momo asked.
"Better than anyone I've met so far," I replied, "but then I don't recall meeting very many people."
"I'm surprised Eraser Head's power didn't work on you," Deku said, "but then I didn't see you pull any of the balls off your head, but does that mean…" Deku's voice trailed off as he started muttering ideas to himself deep in thought.
"Use the balls on my head?" I asked, confused, before instinctively reaching up and popping one off. "I completely forgot about that."
"How could you- amnesia," Momo said and pinched the bridge of her nose.
"I know," I agreed, "it's really annoying. Hopefully it'll wear off soon because I really want to know the answers." The ball turned to dust and I brushed it off my hands.
"You have a briefcase that you need opened?" All Might asked.
I pulled the briefcase out of my ki space. "Here, I'm not sure you can force it open, but I'd love to be proven wrong."
"I'll give it my best shot," All Might promised with a confident smile as he accepted the briefcase.
"That golden vial will really give someone the voice of an angel?" Jiro asked intently.
"Yeah," I agreed. "I don't have much of a singing voice… but I like karaoke? Or maybe had something planned involving ponies? That can't be right." What in the world does singing have to do with ponies? "The sword goes with it because singing is always better with music to go with it."
"Please tell me you have more than one," Jiro all but begged.
All Might grunted as he tried to force the briefcase open.
"Sorry Jiro," I said regretfully, "I only have the one."
"What if you just drank half of it?" she asked hopefully.
"It's an all or nothing thing," I told her. "You have to drink the entire thing to gain the effects."
Jiro collapsed into herself for a moment, while All Might groaned out loudly behind us, before taking a deep breath and looking me dead in the eyes. "Mineta, if you give me that vial and it does what it says, I'll fulfill your every sexual fantasy till we graduate."
"Jiro!" most of the class exclaimed in shock.
I winced at the look in her eyes. "Damnit, you want it more than I do," I complained. I pulled the vial out of my ki space and handed it to her. "Here, take it!"
"Detroit Smash!"
The ground rumbled and shook, knocking almost everyone off their feet as Jiro uncorked the vial and threw it back even as she was falling on her ass.
"Anything?" Deku asked their sensei.
All Might pulled the briefcase out of a large crater in the floor and said, "Not a scratch on it. It might actually be unbreakable."
"How long does it take to work?" Jiro asked me as she climbed to her feet, rubbing her ass.
"It's pretty much instantaneous," I assured the rocker girl as I pulled out the sword and offered it to her hilt first. "The sword goes with it."
Jiro accepted the sword, a guitar riff began to play as a fast drum beat rose and she took a deep breath before belting out, "You see the sun rise, a new day upon you!"
Jaws dropped as everyone turned to the dark haired rocker, feeling the energy in the air as the beat continued to the angelic sound of her voice, "You bite your nails, and your knees start to tremble!"
"Holy shit," I said in disbelief. I knew what the potion did, but this… This was awesome incarnate. If I'd truly known what the potion did I'd have downed it long before she'd begged for it.
"The Day Has Come!" Jiro sang and thrust her sword in the air, a pair of golden wings bursting out from her back.
There was a sound like a record album scratching across an album and Jiro slowly looked right and left. "Why do I have wings?" she asked, lowering the sword.
"Voice of an angel was only part of what it did," I offered.
"Wings of an angel?" she asked, wide eyed.
"Yeah," I agreed. "You don't have to have the wings out, but it's at least twenty percent cooler when you do."
"The light burns," Todoroki complained.
I turned to the crow headed boy. "Sorry about that, they burn creatures of darkness and are especially effective against the undead."
"What did I miss?" All Might asked as Jiro launched herself from the ground and took to the air, the opening chords of Freebird starting up.
"Jiro sold herself into sexual slavery for the power to become an angel," Iida told their teacher.
"What?" he asked in disbelief, holding the briefcase in one hand.
I sighed heavily. "I had a magic sword and potion in my ki space and she wanted it more than I did. Of course I didn't know it was that awesome or I would have used it myself… before she nailed me with those puppydog eyes."
"And the sex slavery bit?" All Might asked, arching an eyebrow.
I shrugged. "Don't look at me, that was her idea."
"It's true," Iida assured him, "Mineta did not even hint at such a thing."
"How long does it last?" All Might asked.
"It's permanent," I told him.
"No idea where you got it?" All Might asked, knowing the answer but having to ask anyway.
"Not a clue, I just know it took a lot of effort to get and I wanted it so I could sing in public without embarrassing myself," I replied.
"We have to get this briefcase open," All Might said. He looked over to Eraser Head's unconscious form.
"He'll wake up in about half an hour and I doubt the class will even notice we're gone," I told him as the entire class held up lighters and waved them in the air while Jiro sang as she circled overhead. "Where did they get the lighters?" I asked, unable to stop myself.
"I believe Miss Momo provided them," All Might replied.
"That makes sense," I decided as I recalled her power.
"Come young Mineta, the support students will be able to make something to start trying every combination until it opens," All Might declared, "and that's only if they can't figure out how to open it another way."
"Excellent," I said. "I really hope I kept a personal journal in there or a large amount of money."
"A large amount of money?" All Might asked, surprised.
"If I can't have answers I wouldn't mind being rich," I replied.
All Might laughed. "Very good point, young Mineta. Onward! Let us see if the answers you seek lie in this case!"
He may have hogged all the heights but damn is it easy to like this guy!
Typing By: Abyssal Angel
Beta By: Abyssal Angel and Mist of Shadows