Back with another chapter! I'm glad the direction I've taken had a lot of you interested. And sad. Mostly sad.
Enjoy!
Drake stared up at the roof of his bedroom, his cat resting on his shirtless chest. He was absentmindedly scratching behind the cats ears as she purred, but he wasn't really focused on her.
He lifted his head slightly and looked down at his free hand, which held a letter addressed to him. He'd gotten in that morning, but he hadn't opened it yet because of who had sent it to him.
He'd recognise Ultear's neat printing anywhere,
He wasn't really sure why she'd sent this to him. He hadn't gotten a letter just for him, she mostly wrote to her parents. So why had she sent this to him? He honestly didn't know.
Sighing, Drake pushed the cat off of him and got up, walking into his kitchen. He threw the unopened letter down at the table before going to scavenge for food. Settling for an apple, he bit into it and sat down at the table, still staring at the unopened letter. He wasn't sure why he wasn't opening it, surely Ultear wanted to tell him something if she'd sent this to him. So why didn't he feel excited to read it?
Drake was knocked from his thoughts as a knock sounded at his door. He wasn't expecting any visitors, so he really had no idea who could have been at the door. Grumbling curses to himself, Drake walked to his door and grabbed the handle, only realising he was shirtless as the cold air hit him. He shivered as it did, now getting even more irritated.
"What?" He snapped, rubbing his arms.
"Bad time?" Drake's eyes widened at this and he looked up.
Michael Eucliffe was smiling at him, hands in his jacket pockets.
Drake had no idea what was going on. He hadn't spoken to Michael in over a year, so why was he here now? Had something happened that he was unaware of?
"Michael?" Drake asked weakly. Michael snorted.
"Who else could it be?" He asked, gesturing sarcastically. "Do you not recognise me?" Drake didn't reply out of shock, and Michael gestured behind him. "Can I come in? Freezing my ass off here." Drake stepped aside, allowing Michael to walk inside. He closed the door and turned to watch Michael walk around, whistling to himself. "Nice place man, this new?"
"Yeah, it is..."
"Nice! How much did you pay for this? Looks really expensive." Drake watched Michael run a hand across his counter, inspecting it. Michael was not only here, he was acting surprisingly upbeat. Sure, it was Michael's usual act, but maybe Drake expected more from their year apart. He watched Michael open his fridge, which seemed to be some kind of ritual for Drake's guests, before closing it and looking back at Drake, a smile on his face.
"What?" Drake asked.
"Why so quiet?" Michael asked. "Not expecting me?"
"No, not at all." Drake replied, frowning. "Why the hell are you here?" Michael laughed and pulled a chair back, sitting down in it.
"Sit down with me man, it's been a while." Drake decided there was no harm in it and sat down across from Michael, watching him warily. Michael just watched him back, smiling.
"Why're you here?" He asked.
"I can't just come check on a friend of mine?" He asked. "I thought we were buddies, I didn't think showing up would get me interrogated. Though I suppose I could've said something to yo-"
"Stop dancing around my question." Drake interrupted, losing patience. "You know as well as I do the last time we spoke was at the funeral. Of course I wasn't expecting you. I figured we'd gone our separate ways." At the mention of the funeral Michael's smile faded and he looked down at the table.
"Funeral..." He said, laughing to himself quietly. "Yeah, I guess it was the last time we'd spoken. You remember that, huh?"
Of course Drake remembered.
He'd never forget.
Drake had his head in his hands, sitting in the corner of the room. He'd distanced himself from everyone else in the room, he didn't feel like talking to anyone.
He was at the funeral.
It was a rather impromptu one at that, but there wasn't exactly a lot of time on their hands, given the state of the...body. So many people Drake knew were here. His friends, those from other guilds, other branches of Fairy Tail, anyone he knew in his life was here. Anyone Nashi knew was here. He even saw Ross, the announcer from the Grand Magic Games, among the crowd. There really was so many people here.
"Hey Natsu. You okay man?" Drake felt his stomach drop as he heard this voice. He peered up slightly to find Sting, Sabertooth's master, giving Natsu a hug. Natsu reply was inaudible, but that wasn't what Drake was focused on.
Sting, along with the members of Sabertooth, had just arrived to the service.
Drake could see Michael standing back with the others, bangs concealing his eyes. Drake hadn't seen him since before the incident, but that might have been because he'd barely left the bench in the guild hall getting drunk. He'd known that he and the others had come earlier, but other than that he knew very little about the situation with him. Which, in turn, made him antsy to see him.
He watched as the members of Sabertooth fanned out to talk to others. Keita and Juno were talking to Ultear, while Keita did his best to comfort Elise in the one armed hug she'd forced onto him the second she saw him. Juno looked very sad, but not nearly as bad as Ultear. The girl had been a wreck since Nashi had died, and it hadn't changed since. Kyoko was speaking to Simon and Damien, who were both in no worse condition than Ultear. Simon was, for lack of a better term, angry all the time. No matter what happened or who spoke, he was mad. Drake couldn't blame him. Damien, on the other hand, had been quiet and distant. Drake had barely seen him since it happened, but Drake had barely seen anything other than the bottom of a mug. Rina was with Steph, but she was hugging the girl tightly, not talking so much. Steph, too, had been a wreck since Nashi died. Drake never thought he'd ever see the peppy girl so devastated, yet he'd never imagined he'd be here, either.
Drake perked up when he realised Michael was walking in his direction. He couldn't take his eyes away from Michael's once the two made eye contact, and soon Michael reached him, still silent.
"...Hey," Drake said, voice hoarse from lack of use.
"...Hey," Michael said. Since came over the two again before Michael sat down in the chair next to Drake, putting his head in his hands. Drake looked down at the floor and silence came over them once again. Drake didn't know what he was supposed to say to Michael. He probably felt horrible, but Drake was in no mood to be gauging others feelings.
"...How did she die?" Drake looked over as Michael asked this. The blonde looked out from his hands, and Drake noted the blood red colour to them.
"...Huh?"
"How did she die?" Michael asked. "What happened?" Drake stared at Michael before looking down at the ground and sighing.
"Protecting the rest of us," he replied solemnly as he recalled being shoved from the peak. "We'd all be dead if she hadn't done what she did." Silence came over the pair again.
"...So it wasn't in vain, then." Michael said. He still hadn't lifted his head, but Drake could tell he was crying by the tone of his voice. "She didn't go out for no reason."
"...Yeah."
"...Listen, man." Drake looked over as Michael spoke. "I know...I know there's nothing we can do to save her." Drake frowned at this as Michael began too shake. "I just wish...I just wish I could see her one last time. To tell her how much I cared about her. I had the chance, but I downplayed it like an idiot."
"...I'm sure she knew," Drake replied, looking down at his feet. "I'm sure she felt the same."
"You think?"
"Yeah." More silence came over the two before Michael gave out a pathetic laugh.
"Look at how self centred I'm being. How have you been dealing with this? You okay man?" Drake didn't reply right away, because he really had no idea what to say. He wasn't good, at all. He really wondered half the time why he was even still here. But he couldn't squander the life Nashi gave him.
"Fine. I'm Fine."
"Yeah, I remember." Drake said, crossing his arms. "I'll never forget." Michael chuckled.
"Yeah, I don't think I will either." He said. "Wasn't exactly a fun time, you know?"
"Just tell me why you're here already." Michael and Drake stared at each other for a while, before Michael sighed and shifted around his seat.
"Steph called me," he said. This made Drake raise an eyebrow as Michael watched him. "She said she needed my help."
"With what?" Drake demanded.
"Are you that dumb?" Michael asked. "You're blaming yourself for Nashi's death aren't you?"
So that was it.
"Of course I am," Drake replied, watching Michael carefully. "It was my fault."
"How?"
"I could have saved her."
"And yourself? And the others? That's fucking impressive." Drake glowered at Michael, but the blonde barely budged. "Don't be stupid, you know that you're not at fault."
"I am," Drake said, flexing his fists. "If I hadn't let her get the better of me, I could have saved her."
"No, you couldn't have." Michael replied, face scrunched up angrily. "And you know it. I was told all about it, how Nashi had to sacrifice herself to save the rest of you. You said it yourself. If she had to die for you to live, how could you have prevented her death and survived all at the same time? Tell me, right now." Drake growled at this. If Michael was just here to mock him, he wasn't interested in hearing it.
"I would have found a way," Drake said, making Michael roll his eyes and rub the bridge of his nose. "I know I could have." Michael groaned quietly before he looked back up, a steely look on his face.
"Then it's my fault too," he said, making Drake raise an eyebrow.
"How?" He demanded. Michael lowered his gaze slightly.
"She called me before you guys left," she said. "She made a point of telling me how much our relationship meant to her...How much I meant to her." Drake watched as Michael took a moment, probably to prevent tears from escaping. "If you're at fault for letting her trick you, so am I. She was acting weird over the phone, but I let it slide. I played off of it and didn't tell her as seriously as she told me. I didn't pursue my gut feeling that she was being weird. And I paid for it."
"That isn't the same," Drake growled.
"No?" Michael asked. "I didn't let Nashi go?"
"No, but I don't blame you for that. Whereas you probably blame me."
"Shut the fuck up."
"What?" Drake demanded. "Tell me. Tell me right now when you heard Nashi died, you first thought wasn't about what I didn't do to save her."
"It wasn't you self absorbed asshole." He snapped. "I thought about how I would never see her again. I'd never see her smile, her face, ever again. She'd never smile at me again. You know when I thought of you? When I wondered just how far The Olympians must of gone to kill her if you couldn't save her!"
"They didn't go far," Drake said. "Nashi sealed the deal, though."
"So why don't you blame her?" Drake didn't reply right away, staring at Michael's angry face. "She's the reason she's dead. She made the decision to deceive you, she made the decision to push you off the peak. why aren't you blaming her?"
Silence fell over the pair. Drake didn't know to reply, partially because he was so angry he could barely think. Thankfully, after about thirty seconds, there was a knock at the door. Drake stood and swiftly went to answer it, finding Steph there.
"Hi," she greeted with a smile. "Ready to go?"
"Absolutely," he said. "Couldn't have come at a better time." Drake turned and made for his room, ignoring Michael's stares. He had an appointment to go to, and he needed to get dressed.
Steph waited until Drake was in his room before she spoke to Michael.
"Any luck?" She asked in a low tone. Michael scoffed as he stood.
"No," he replied, glaring at the table. "He's being as stubborn as ever. His logic doesn't even make sense." Steph expected as much. She'd never made sense of Drake's self loathing either, but she could only imagine how angry it made him. She guessed that he blamed himself because he was the only one who could have done something, even though he had nothing he could have done anyway.
"Don't worry," she said. "I'll make him see things the way they are. Rather, someone else will. He'll be fine."
"God, I hope so." Michael said. "Seeing him like this hurts." Silence came over the,, and Steph watched Michael reach for an envelope on the table. He read it, and his eyes widened slightly.
"What?" Steph asked. Michael threw it to her, and Steph looked down at it. It was a letter from Ultear, addressed to Drake. It was unopened, but Steph wasn't surprised by that. Drake not only blamed himself for what happened, but he was pretty angry with the others for just moving on so quickly. Seeing it unopened was no exception. Steph quickly hid the letter in her jacket as Drake came back out of his room, dressed and ready to go.
"Ready, let's go." He said, barely sparing Michael a glance. Steph watched him move for the door and look back at her expectantly. Steph walked after him as he elft his apartment, before looking back at Michael.
"Good luck," he said. Steph nodded.
"Thanks. If this doesn't work, nothing will."
After reaching Angela's office, Drake found that they had to wait a little bit before he could go in. That was fine. he needed to cool down after Michael's visit anyway. He knew that he meant well, but it was still irritating to deal with.
"Stop scowling," Steph said from beside him, elbowing him in the stomach. "You look livid."
"Sorry, I'll just stop being pissed." Drake snapped back, making her roll her eyes at him. He knew he needed to calm down, but that was part of the reason he came to these therapist meetings anyway. Thankfully he had no more room to get scolded, because the door to Angela's office opened, revealing the woman standing there with a smile on her face.
"Nice to see you two," she said. "Are you doing okay today, Drake?" Drake shrugged.
"I was until about twenty minutes ago," he said. "But don't worry about that." Angela looked at Steph for a second, but Steph shrugged. Drake would tell her once he was in her office.
"Alright we're ready." She said. "Come on in."
We?
Ignoring what she'd said, Drake stood and made his way for the office. He stepped past Angela, and his world froze.
Natsu and Lucy looked at him as he entered the room.
Drake felt his head spinning as he looked behind him at Angela weakly, who was still standing at the open door.
"You said everyone else ought to blame you," she said. "I disagreed. I had Steph help me set this up." Drake looked past her at Steph, who simply smiled at him weakly. Now he was trapped. His entire body felt like lead, and it would barely move when he told it to. He slowly walked inside the room more as Angela closed the door and mechanically sat down as Angela did as well. He hadn't spoke Natsu or Lucy since the funeral, he couldn't bare it. Nashi resembled them too much.
"W-What...What's going on?" He asked, staring at his feet. He didn't have the heart to look up at Nashi's parents.
"You said everyone else should blame you for Nashi's death." Angela said. "I figured no one else but her parents would be able to convince you otherwise. So I had them come in."
"T-That wasn't necessary..."
"Yes, it was." Angela said. Drake felt sweat dripping down his forehead, but he still didn't look up at Natsu or Lucy. Neither of them had said anything thus far, maybe because they were holding back so they didn't punch him. "I had them both write down their feelings so that they could explain them to you here today. Are you willing to hear them out?" Drake finally looked up at them, and he found them both watching him. Lucy had a soft smile on her face, whereas Natsu did not, but he didn't look angry whatsoever.
"Suppose I don't have a choice do I?" He asked weakly. Angela shook her head.
"No, you don't," She said. "Which one of you would like to go first?"
"I'll go," Natsu said, Drake noticing a piece of paper in his hand. "I feel like Luce should go last."
"Please go ahead," Angela said. Natsu cleared his throat and lifted the piece of paper closer to his eyes, scanning it weakly. He looked over at Lucy for a moment, who nodded. Natsu looked back at the paper and took a deep breath.
"Drake," he said. "I don't know you very well, but I've been told so much about you. How you were my daughters best friend. How you were always by her side, no matter what happened. I never said anything, but words can't express how much that means to me. Having someone who always has your back...Is a reassuring feeling." At this, Lucy smiled. "But after Nashi's...death, you turned into someone else. You drank so much, and distanced yourself from everyone who loved you. You recoiled from all of us, and now I finally know why. You thought we blamed you. You thought we hated you for not being able to save her. And...And that's the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard."
Drake swallowed hard as Natsu continued.
"The very idea that you were at fault for what happened to Nashi...It makes me want to laugh. The idea that you somehow had a stake in what happened to her is ridiculous. You were her friend, her best friend. And what she did at Mount Olympus, she did for you. She did it for the others. If anyone is at fault for Nashi's death, it's The Olympians, not you. You did everything you could for her, no matter what it was. And she did what she could for you, she saved your life, even if it cost her hers."
Silence came over the office as Natsu finished and Drake played with his hands. He really had nothing to say, and he wanted nothing else than to run from here and not return. But he couldn't because he doubted anyone here would let him.
"That was very good, Natsu." Angela said softly. "Lucy, would you like to go now?"
Fuck.
Drake looked up weakly at Lucy as she took her own sheet of paper out, scanning it quickly. After this she looked over at Angela, who nodded.
"Drake," she started. "I've known you since you born. I was there when your mom named you. every since you were little, you were glued to Nashi's side no matter what happened and...words can't express how much that means to me. If I couldn't be there for her, I could be sure you were, because you were her best friend. You meant the world to her."
"Please just stop..." Drake hissed.
"...She loved you," Lucy continued, pausing after he spoke up. "I don't know if she every told you that, but she loved you. You meant the world to her. She talked about you all the time at home. She would have done anything for you, no matter what. If you'd asked, she'd have done anything in her power to do it."
"Please..." Drake whispered.
"...Which is why she did what she did," Lucy said, voice cracking. "She...She gave her own life so that you could keep yours. So the others could keep theirs. She wouldn't have done it if she didn't think it would save you. She loved you and the others so much you meant more to her than she did. Which is why...It hurt so much to find out you thought you were at fault for what happened."
"Lucy please..." He whispered.
"She loved you, Drake." Lucy continued. "She wanted to make sure you and the others could keep living, so she made a rash decision without thinking about how you would be impacted...But she loved you."
"Shut up!" Drake shouting, jumping to his feet, tears streaming down his face. "Stop lying to me! How can you not hate me?! Your little girl is dead because I was too weak to save her! Too dumb to see through the trap! Too stupid to see she was deceiving me so she could-!"
"She was suicidal, Drake!" Drake was silenced as Lucy got to her feet as well, raising her voice. "Did you forget that?! When she exploded when Natsu came home?! She spent so long without thinking she was worth a damn, but do you know who was there?!"
"..."
"You were! You were the only reason she made it as long as she did! Without you, who's to say she wouldn't have killed herself earlier?! You saved her life Drake! You saved her so many fucking times before she even learned magic, it's sickening that you could think you were at fault!"
"So why couldn't I save her again?!" Drake shouted angrily. "I failed!"
"You failed because Nashi actively prevented you from saving her!" Lucy shouted. "She didn't want to be saved, she wanted to save you! Because you spent so long saving her that she needed to repay you somehow!"
Drake couldn't form a coherent sentence, his mind was too muddled. He felt guilt, he felt anger, but he couldn't form a sentence.
It got even worse when Lucy wrapped him in a hug. It was a warm, loving hug. One only a mother could give. Drake stood, motionless, as Lucy rubbed his back.
"You did everything you could," she whispered in his ear. "You saved her so many times. She wanted to save you too. You're not guilty, you're so sad you're trying to find a reason she didn't make it. And you blamed yourself instead of The Olympians."
"I..." Drake didn't have words. She was right. He did everything he could have. But she wanted to save him and the others, and she did. Was he at fault for her decisions? No, of course not. That didn't make sense.
Drake slowly hugged Lucy back, thankful that she hugged him even tighter. He cried into her shoulder, letting out all the anguish and anger he pent up at himself into her shoulder. Lucy didn't seem to care.
"She'd be heartbroken to see you mad at yourself," she said to Drake. "She wouldn't want you to be sad." Drake knew she was right.
The only reason he was standing in that office, alive, was because Nashi had given her life to let him. She wanted him to live on, and be happy. And yet, after all of that, he'd spent a year shitting on her dream by being angry at himself.
"I hope, one day, you'll forgive me."
Drake had never blamed her. He'd always blamed himself, because he could only see himself at fault. But he knew he wasn't to blame.
Nashi wanted him to forgive her because what she did caused everything that had happened in the past year. She knew things would go awry, but it was their best bet at life.
And yet, even after all of that, he still didn't blame her. He couldn't.
"I know," Drake said quietly. "She'd want me to be happy. And I've been defiling that wish for a year." Lucy laughed at this.
"Better late than never, right?"
"...Yeah."
"I'm glad that they got through to you," Drake looked over at Steph as she said this. They were walking back to his place after being at the guild hall, the first time Drake had been there where he actively spoke to others and had a few drinks with them. They seemed happy to welcome him back, which he was grateful for.
"Yeah, well, someone had too." He muttered, snow falling down on top of them.
"I know," she said. "But I'm happy you're not mad at yourself anymore."
"Now I'm just sad," Drake replied, staring at his feet. Steph smiled weakly.
"You spent so long being angry you didn't grieve properly." She said. "I'm here if you need me." Drake looked over at her, and she smiled. He rolled his eyes and wrapped into a one armed hug, smothering her face against his coat. He could hear her muffled complaints as she struggled against his grip, but he didn't let up. Once she got free, she glared at him.
"What?" He asked.
"Maybe I won't be here if you're going to suffocate me," she threatened. Drake just rolled his eyes. After a few seconds of silence, Steph made a face and reached into her coat.
"I found this at your place," she said, revealing the letter Ultear had written to him. "I took it, and I think you should open it." Drake nodded and gingerly took the letter from her.
"Yeah, I should." He said, making a face. "I should apologise to Michael too, I was kind of an asshole to him earlier."
"I'm sure he'll understand," Steph said, getting closer to him. "Now open the letter, I want to see what she said." Drake rolled his eyes and dug his finger under the envelope's flap, ready to open it.
And he froze.
Steph watched him before she frowned at his pause.
"What?" She demanded. She wouldn't know, because she didn't have the magic.
Drake's nose had picked up an oddly familiar scent.
Without saying anything to Steph, he took off after it. She called out to him in confusion, but he didn't say anything to her. He sped through the snowy streets after the smell, getting more and more certain as to what it was the more he followed it.
Soon, he found himself at the graveyard.
Despite the pain he felt by being here, Drake entered without a second through and trailed the scent all the way to Nashi's rave, where he froze solid. Steph caught up to him shortly, out of breath.
"What the hell man?!" Steph demanded. "Don't just run off like that! What the hell is the matter...?!"
Steph, too, froze.
The two of them watched Nashi's grave from a distance, where a small figure was hunched over it. The figure, female in stature, was hunched down over the grave silently. They were wearing black pants and a black coat with a furry hood, and they didn't seem to realise they were being watched.
A wild mane of black hair rested atop the persons head. The person slowly stood and turned, and froze as they realised they were watched.
Drake would recognise those red eyes anywhere.
He had not seen her in ten months, yet Elise Redfox's face was unmistakable.
Whew, long ass chapter today lads! We'll continue this at a later date. Make sure to ready Homecoming's new chapter! I hope you enjoyed, leave a review! Let's try to get five!
chapter 283: Visions