Falling into Love, Falling into Forever

by dyloccupy

But maybe that's the thing about love: you don't have to deserve it. It's just there, waiting for you to finally see it. And in the end, that's the only kind of love that really matters. (—a victor tie-in).

2. Part II

Part II.

---

"Didn't you wake up feeling that you had no future? Didn't you walk around drained of all meaning, without the right to even the slightest danger? Didn't you have to promise, a hundred times, not to die?"
—Rainer Maria Rilke, from "The Prodigal Son."

"Over and over, I kept thinking I've got to go home and then, for the millionth time, I can't."
—Donna Tartt, from The Goldfinch (2013)

---

J's standing on a damn pedestal. A pedestal.

Like, how did he even get here? He knows the answer to that question, but still. The whole morning has been a blur. No, more like the past week has been a blur. He's been trying to surface for air, but no matter what, he hasn't been able to ascend through the murky depths of the Capitol.

It doesn't help that Kavi has barely talked to him since the reaping.

Aquamarine waves churn beneath his feet, lapping at the edge of J's metal plate, the water sloshing about for what seems like miles in every direction. Beneath the surface, all he can see is the ocean floor and some coral mounds; no weapons, no supplies, and no Cornucopia.

His legs are already cramping up from trying to keep his balance, and he's squinting out at the horizon, trying to figure out what the fuck's going on. The sun rises lazily in the morning sky, the saltwater's stinging J's skin, and the only thing keeping him from losing it completely is the faint outline of a beach in the distance.

J can make out the soft curve of sand dunes, a patch of land he can probably sprint across in, like, two minutes if he wasn't stuck on this damn thing. But it's too far, way too far. He'd dive in, but honestly? He doesn't trust the water around here. Who knows what kind of mutts or whatever could be lurking. Seriously, the ocean's got no chill. Especially when it's artificial and all wrong.

The shoreline's looking real suspicious, though. It's not like the Southern Banks at all. No familiar palm trees, no rickety shacks, nothing that feels…home. But there's a city or something down there. He squints harder, trying to make sense of it. Looks like buildings—big ones. A wall? Maybe he's just imagining it. Or maybe it's some kind of mirage, but J swears he can see the way the sunlight glints off the tops of some roofs.

It's almost blinding.

J isn't sure how long it's already been since he launched—could've been hours, could've been a few minutes. He doesn't really care. He's had worse. J's life has been all about getting out of messes, and this is just another mess to get out of. He'll figure it out. He always does.

Though, it would be nice if Kavi actually looked over in his direction! He found her a few spots to his right, trying to her attention by waving both hands in the air, but she simply kept staring at the horizon.

The sound of the waves crashing is starting to get to him. The way the ocean just keeps moving, never stopping, like it's trying to drown you if you don't keep up. He just needs to get to land, get his bearings, and figure out where he is. Then he'll do what? Meet up with Kavi? Wait for the other Careers that only took J in because Kavi vouched for him during training? Either way, he's not dying out here. Not like this.

Paz would already have a plan floating around in his brain. A way out of this. But Paz isn't here—J made sure of that when he volunteered.

It was the right choice.

Kavi still needs him, no matter if she believes it or not. She will be getting out of this damn place, he'll make sure of it. A Pogie will be making it home.

He promised.

J has no idea what's waiting for him when he washes ashore, but the idea of sitting out here on a stupid pedestal all day—nah. Screw that. Time to make a move.

But J's watched enough Bloodbaths at the Center to know that the sixty-second timer should've been ticking away by now, some Gamemaker's voice announcing the start of the Games.

He doesn't know if it's because of the Quell, or if they're trying to make things more dramatic for the audience, but J is ready to cut his losses and get a move on. How are they supposed to blow him to smithereens if it's just water? It's not like J can see any landmines down there.

The other tributes all seem to be getting antsy too. To his left, he can see the girl from Three squat a little, shaking out her hands. To his immediate right, the boy from Eight visibly shakes, eyes never leaving the water.

Ah. It hasn't crossed J's mind yet, but Four got lucky this year. He hopes some of the other fuckers won't even make it to land. Wouldn't mind a few of his allies drowning too.

Bernelle grins like a mad woman down the line of pedestals. J snorts. You would think it impossible, but Two always manages to make 'em crazier and crazier. Before he can call out to his ally and tell her as much, static cuts through the sound of waves. It's sudden and jarring, and J winces from the noise.

"Attention, tributes!"

The words that echo out over the arena's sky are demanding. Masculine. But J's heard enough grown men throughout his life put on a false bravado; he can hear the shakiness in the announcer's words. The uncertainty. Fear.

What the fuck is going on out there?

"This has been a unique year, as we all know," the voice continues. It sounds like a gun is being forced against the poor guy's temple. "In order to properly honor your sacrifices and remind Panem of the generosity the Capitol is always willing to extend, there has been a very special rule change."

J can't help himself—the words slip out. "Ah, shit." There's a laugh to his left and someone shushes him on his right.

"Dual victors shall be declared if the last two tributes remaining are from the same district." J blinks. This has to be a prank? Someone has to be joking? His gaze immediately snaps to Kavi, who's already staring at his face. Swim to me, she mouths.

Muttering amongst the other tributes turns into yelling. Names are being called out in the wind, desperate and now full of hope. Fools, J thinks. They can't actually believe the Capitol will allow two of them to make it out of here alive?

Right?

It doesn't matter though. J's goal remains unchanged. This only means Kavi might be more willing to stand within six feet of him. Maybe even have a full conversation. Which is a step in the right direction in J's book.

"Good luck, tributes. And may the odds be ever in your favor."

And then the gong sounds.

x

The saltwater stings his eyes, but J's too busy gasping for air to care. His lungs feel like they're about to explode as they finally hit the shore. His feet scrape the sand, and he can feel the heat of it through his soaked sandals. J turns to Kavi, still breathing like a freight train, and she's already on her feet, pulling him up with a strength he didn't know she had. His legs feel like jelly, but he can't help grinning at her—she saved his life, and J owes her big time.

"Kavi…hey, Kaveri," he tries, barely able to spit out the words. "I...I gotta thank you, for—"

"Shut up and keep moving!" she snaps, cutting J off before he can even finish. Her voice is sharp, all edge and frustration. The kind of tone she only uses when she's really pissed. J's gotten used to it the past month.

J opens his mouth to argue, but the sight of the city in the distance makes him pause. This close, he realizes why it shone like a beacon on the horizon: it's made out of pure gold. The walls gleam like some kind of crazy dream—bright as hell under the morning rays. The white sand that surrounds the fortifications only intensifies the sight. He can practically feel the weight of it, like a treasure, burning a hole in his chest.

And yeah, maybe J doesn't always think things through, but no one can say he doesn't know how to go after what he wants. And he wants whatever is in that city. It could be the key to propelling Kavi to victory.

But right now, he really wants to stay on Kavi's good side. She saved him, but...she's also really mad. Like, "I'm gonna beat you with a paddle" mad. J can see it in the way she's moving, her jaw set tight, her fists clenched at her sides.

J jogs to catch up to her, trying to get his breath back. "Kavi, seriously. I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to—"

"Not now, J," she interrupts, her voice cooler than expected. "We're not done yet."

Right. They're not done. They're not even close. They still gotta beat the others—he can see more figures swimming, fighting through the waves, getting closer and closer. Typhon is out there, now sporting a broken nose courtesy of Kavi's fist. J knew there was a good chance the other Careers would turn on them first, he definitely didn't make any friends in training, but to have the boy from One try to drown him right as they hit the water…

He's been close to the end before. J's old man is worth less than a bottle of piss, but the one thing the fucker did teach him is the power of telling Death to go fuck herself. J's been marked, that's for sure, but it's not his time yet. Not before he sees this through.

Grains of sand tickle in between his toes. J can see there are already a few tributes ahead of them, having got a head start in the race for the supplies that lie in wait thanks to Typhon's attempted murder. There's still a bit to go before they reach the walls; the city rises above the sea on a peninsula, pale sand dunes transitioning into rock.

J starts running faster, his legs still shaking but moving instinctively, because if there's one thing he's good at, it's running toward trouble. "Fine, okay," he says, finally giving her some space, his tone softening. "But when we get out of here, you gotta let me buy you a drink or something. Maybe a whole damn bar. You deserve it after saving my ass."

She doesn't even look at J. Just keeps running. But he knows she heard him, because her pace picks up, and maybe—just maybe—there's a little less fury in her step. Or maybe it's just the adrenaline. Either way, J's not stopping now.

Not for anything.

x

Six cannons ring out by the time they make it through the first gate and into the narrow, winding streets.

The air is thick, salty, and buzzing with anticipation. J's shirt sticks to his back as he and Kavi race blindly over gilded cobblestones. They're still soaked from the swim—water clinging to every inch of skin, dripping down the loose linen that makes up the sparse uniform their stylists provided in the Stockyard. The coolness of the ocean still lingers, but the heat's creeping up fast.

The sun's just breaking over the tops of the defensive walls that surround the city, and J can feel it already scorching his neck, making the sweat on his face burn as it mixes with the seawater.

Kavi's ahead of him, her legs moving fast, eyes sharp, determined—she's always got that focused look when she's chasing something, but J? He's just trying to keep up, trying to stay one step ahead of the others hunting them down. Doesn't matter if One and Two has the whole damn Capitol on their side—J and Kavi are faster, smarter, and above all, they're Pogies.

"Come on, J!" she yells, darting left into an alley so tight J can barely fit through. He crashes into the side of a wall but doesn't even slow down. J's not about to let her get too far ahead. Not when there's other tributes lurking nearby.

He won't let her out of his sight.

They duck past empty vendor stalls and closed doorways. J almost knocks over a table of shiny pottery, but he barely notices—too focused on not getting caught by the tributes hot on their tail. He can hear their footsteps echoing, but every time J looks over his shoulder, there's no sign of them yet.

Alliances have been shattered thanks to the rule change. Everyone's desperate to find a piece of home that can only be found in their district partners—the Capitol has now offered them all another way to make it back to their families and friends. A way to make their district proud.

J couldn't give a shit less what Four thinks; right now, it's all about taking advantage of the chaos.

The streets are all ancient and slick with moisture, but J's used to this. It reminds him of Four. The city's a maze, but Kavi keeps moving, gaining more and more speed. J's trusting her—even though she has made it clear that the feeling isn't mutual.

J can't help but grin and let out a whoop, adrenaline pumping. This is what it's all about. The thrill. The chase.

Kavi's a blur ahead of him, her braid flying behind her, and he takes a breath, pushing harder. They need to find the Cornucopia before anyone else does, and J's not gonna let anyone beat them to it. He won't let them.

"You see it?" Kavi calls back, glancing over her shoulder just as they round another corner.

"Not yet!" J shouts, but there's a fire in his chest, something telling him they're close.

The sun's getting higher now, beating down on them, drying their clothes, but it's only making the race harder. The streets are baking, and J can feel the tension in the air, like the whole city's holding its breath. He's not slowing down. Not today.

"Left, J!" Kavi shouts, and he follows her lead, kicking up dust, the sound of their footsteps and the distant shouts of their pursuers the only thing he can hear.

J's not gonna stop until he knows Kavi is well armed.

x

Arches, intricate tile work, and decorative ironwork fly by as they continue their search. Small shops and houses also showcase impressive woodwork and ceramic tiles that adorn golden bricks. J doesn't have the time to dilly dally and appreciate the craftsmanship like some of the other fuckers out here—he has a Cornucopia to find.

Every corner is a new obstacle, but J doesn't even think about slowing down. Some of the tributes have probably already hunkered down for the day; whether it's in an abandoned house or down near the port by the beach. But J can't give up. Having supplies means everything right now.

He screwed up Kavi's plans. Turned her allies against her. J has to make up for it. He has to show her that he isn't here to play around, that he can actually be worth something for once.

They've been running for what feels like hours, and the sun's already baking the place and making everything feel a thousand degrees hotter. Water is top priority. Getting indoors is a close second.

Kavi's still ahead of him, her breath coming fast, but she's keeping up, her eyes scanning every street and every turn like she knows exactly where they're going. She's always the level-headed one between the two of them, but right now? They're both just chasing one thing: survival.

J can hear her calling out, but his head's too loud. The blood pumping in his ears is drowning everything out—except for the sound of feet slapping on stone, their sandals skidding over slick corners. They can't stop now. Not when they're this close.

"J!" Kavi yells over her shoulder. "We're almost there!"

He pushes harder, ignoring the strain in his legs. J doesn't care that his breath feels like fire in his chest. He can see it now. A plaza. He pushes past a stack of crates, barely avoiding a collision with an empty fruit cart. J doesn't slow down. He's too close.

And then it's there.

The city center. There's a golden fountain standing tall in the middle, glinting in the sun, like it's daring him to come and claim it. From the glimpses he's seen, it's the only fresh water source they've found so far. The whole place is buzzing, but there's something wrong. Something off. J slows down just a bit, Kavi holding out a hand for him to stop.

Bodies are already gathered around the fountain, shouting, pushing, swinging fists. It's mayhem. A second Bloodbath.

Damn it.

J hears Kavi's warning, already knowing what he's going to do, "J, wait—"

But it's too late. He's already spotted an opening. The kid from Eleven has his hands on the fountain's base, shoving people out of the way, trying to get his grubby hands on whatever's hidden in the water.

"Stay back!" J snaps at Kavi, his voice barely reaching her through the noise. Adrenaline kicks in like a shot of whiskey. "I'll handle this."

"No, J!" she yells, her voice trembling with a mix of frustration and worry. "You don't have to do this. We'll figure it out—together."

But he can't. He can't let anyone get something good. Supplies aren't just something to fight over. It's their chance. Their shot. And J's not about to let anyone mess this up. And he won't put Kavi in harm's way. Not again.

Without a second thought, J breaks into a sprint, cutting through the chaos like a damn waterspout. The sound of Kavi shouting his name is swallowed by the noise of grunts and fists pounding flesh. He doesn't pause to think—just barrels into the guy who's closest to the fountain. J's shoulder slams into his chest, sending him sprawling backward.

"What the hell?" Eleven growls, dark eyebrows furious, but he's already on top of him, pushing him away, ignoring the pain in his ribs as the tribute tries to throw a punch. J ducks under it and swings, landing a hit right to his jaw.

Behind him, J hears Kavi shouting again, her voice desperate, but he can't stop now. Not when they're right here. The golden fountain's only a few feet away. And he's not about to let anyone else take it from them.

J rolls off Eleven's unconscious body and spins back around, only to see the girl from Ten charging him. She's bigger, but he's faster. J catches her by the arm and twists, sending her crashing into the stone at the base of the fountain. Blood's starting to drip from her nose, but she's not out yet.

He can see her partner fighting off the pair from Twelve in his periphery.

"Give it up." J grits his teeth. "You're outmatched."

He doesn't care if this turns into a full-on brawl. He's here to finish this.

Kavi's words are a blur now, lost in the chaos. But J hears another voice loud and clear in his head: Just don't do anything stupid.

Funny, J thinks. Paz is probably so disappointed right now, fuming back in the Southern Banks, seeing him make a mess of everything.

He knows it's coming, but the rush is all he needs. It's reckless. It's dangerous. But it's in his blood. And he's not backing down. "J, please!" Kavi calls again, but by then, J's already lost in the fight. Ten launches herself at him, but J dodges, sending a knee into her gut. It's instinctual. After years of backing up Jiles Brooks, getting his knuckles bloodied has become second nature.

J tries not to think of his brother watching him back home. If he stops to picture Jiles Brooks' face contorted into fear and worry, he might rethink his actions. And if there's anything J doesn't need to do right now, it's think.

Ten groans on the ground and J wastes no time springing back to the lip of the fountain. He glances behind his shoulder to make sure Kavi is still at the entrance of the alleyway, and then plunges his hands into the water.

J's heart is pounding like it's about to explode, and he can only hear waves crashing. Everything around him is fading, just white noise, like the world's on mute—except for Paz's voice, echoing in his head.

He yanks his hands out of the fountain, the water sloshing around his feet, fingers wrapping around the cold, smooth surface of the first bag. It's heavy, and he can already feel the weight of it. The good stuff. The kind of loot that's gonna change everything.

J tosses it behind him without even thinking, his eyes already searching for what's next. There's no time to waste, no time to question what the hell he's doing here. This is it. This is their moment.

It's why he volunteered.

"Catch!" J yells over his shoulder, and he hears Kavi's sharp intake of breath as two spears fly through the air. She catches them, barely. Her eyes flicker to him, wide and full of something J can't quite read, but there's no time to stop and make sense of it.

He pulls up another bag. J doesn't care what's in it—just that it's not going to end up with Typhon or Bernelle.

J's about to throw it to Kavi too when he hears her voice—loud, desperate. "J!"

He turns, instincts kicking in before his brain can catch up, and that's when J sees him. Eleven, the guy he dropped earlier, struggling to get back to his feet, his hand already raised, fist ready to swing.

Dude, just stay down.

But just as his muscles tense, bracing for impact, ready to stop him before he gets a hit in, something happens—something J doesn't see coming.

The boy crumples. His body folds like a ragdoll, his eyes wide and shocked, and he drops to the ground like an anchor.

J freezes, the air leaving his lungs in a sudden whoosh as he blinks, trying to make sense of it.

Then he sees it. Her.

Another one of the tributes, a smaller girl with a scar across her cheek, standing a few feet behind Eleven. She's holding a golden crossbow, its string still vibrating from the release. The bolt's lodged right in the boy's back. Blood's starting to pool around him already.

For a second, everything stops. No one moves. No one breathes. It's like they're all waiting for something to break the tension.

A cannon booms.

J stands there, clutching the second bag, and all he can do is stare, throat tight. He doesn't know what to say or what to feel. So he just waves awkwardly. "Uh, thanks!"

Twelve scoffs and then drags her district partner into a shaded alley. Kavi calls his name again, her voice worried and panicked. "J, we need to go. Now!"

J snaps back into focus, the adrenaline kicking in again. He needs to get out of here. Kavi needs to get out of here. More shapes seem to take form around the square, all crashing down on the action. Ten slowly rises and her partner limps around the side of the fountain, nursing his own wounds.

He looks down at the bags still sitting at the bottom of the fountain, calling his name like a siren song. But J knows—he knows—that he's already pushed their luck too far.

Glancing back at Kavi, he can already see she's already stepping out from the side street, ready to go.

He nods. No more time to waste.

J grabs the last bag and tosses it over his shoulder.

"Let's go," he mutters, more to himself than to her, as they both break into a run, leaving the bloodstains behind.

The sun hangs high in the sky, and it feels like the whole damn city's about to combust. Sweat drips down his brow and his lips cry out for hydration. But they're not stopping. Not until they find a place to rest.

Not until J knows Kavi is okay.

x

"Man, this place is hot."

There's no response. Not that he expected Kavi to answer, but he just wants…something! Anything!

He'd rather her rage at him than stew in silence.

J can feel the heat despite being indoors. And it's not even sunset yet. Which is weird, since it feels like a whole day has passed since they launched. It's like the sun doesn't know when to take a break in the arena. It's still baking the whole city, making everything feel like one giant, sweaty grill. If there wasn't the possibility of being seen, J would probably just dive straight into the ocean waves that swell against the bastions and gates that overlook the water.

Along the perimeter, the walls are punctuated by watchtowers and cannons, but after looking through a few while trying to find a spot to rest, there isn't anything to use against a surprise attack.

Great. Some defense, you got here.

So here he sits. Huddled up in a crappy watch tower, trying to cool down in the shade, and of course, Kavi's here too. She hasn't stopped giving J the silent treatment since they ran from the fountain. Can't say he blames her, though. He did make one hell of a mess back there. Volunteering? Stupid. Putting Kavi at risk for supplies J wasn't even sure was worth it? A death wish.

But hey, they both made it out, didn't they? And the supplies were worth it. That's what matters, right? Two spears and one bag each filled with supplies is a good haul if he's ever seen. And most importantly, they have enough water and rations to last a few days.

Peering through a narrow slot in the wall, J scans the numerous boat workshops and markets that make up the port outside. Half-submerged wooden boats with distinctive blue-painted hulls tease a lost promise of escape, another cruel joke created by the Gamemakers. Retracing their steps from the center plaza took time, but it feels better to be closer to the beach—closer to the sea—if anything happens.

More cannons have fired, but J lost count after ten. Counting was never his forte, but with the heat and maneuvering through the city streets, his brain is certified fish soup.

J doesn't see them moving anytime soon. Right now, it's just the two of them—stuck in this hot tower with the ocean breeze barely making a dent in the heat. They haven't seen anyone since the brawl at the fountain. Better now than never. "Kavi…" She's not even looking at him. She's got her arms crossed, probably trying to block out J's voice.

"Kavi…" he tries again, a little more insistent this time.

She finally looks at him, her eyes full of fire. "What, J? What could you possibly want to say?"

J's already on the defensive. "I dunno, I'm just—look, I didn't exactly plan this whole thing, alright?" He gestures at the space between them. At the supplies that sit in the corner. "I didn't exactly think it through. I—"

"No, you didn't," she snaps, cutting him off. Her voice shakes, but she's not giving in. "You didn't think anything through. You just went off and did whatever you wanted, like always. You volunteered without thinking about the people who actually needed you. You just—left. You blindsided your friends!"

J stares at her, his mind running in circles. He's not sure how he's supposed to respond to that. She's right. It's all he's thought about since the reaping. It's all he could think about the night before, after their fight at Jiles Brooks' house. But at the same time, it's like, there's nothing that can be done. So what's the problem now?

"You knew I'd come, Kavi. Admit it. Deep down, you knew this wasn't gonna be clean and easy. It's all messy, but that's just the way it is, right?" He's trying to make her see it from his side, to bring up all the points he's wanted to discuss while in the Capitol, but by the look on her face, it's a lost cause. She's not having it. "You had to have known I wasn't going to let you both go!"

"I knew you were reckless, J. I didn't know you were a coward," she spits out, her words cutting deep. "And a hypocrite."

Ouch. Okay, that one hurts. But he's not gonna let it show. He can't. "A coward? Seriously? Because I didn't want to sit around, waiting for my people to die while I did nothing? I made a choice. We make choices, Kavi. Paz would have been—"

"Paz," she interrupts, her voice rising, "is always the one who gets screwed over. Paz is always the one left behind because of your stupid decisions. Paz deserved to be here, not you!"

He feels his temper flare, his heart beating harder. "It was a last-minute thing. You know that. It's not like I meant to screw him over. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him. But then you accepted the spot and I couldn't exactly go with him to the Capitol. I knew the repercussions. I know he hates me, now. It's just—he means, well. You know how…"

He means the world to me. If he died—

I would never forgive myself.

"Then why did you go through with it, huh?" she counters, her face tight with anger. "Why didn't you stay and be the guy everyone needs back home? You're always the one who gets us into trouble, so why couldn't you just let us have this? Why couldn't you be there for the Pogies?" Kavi doesn't let him answer. "It's because you're selfish, J."

She's right. God, she's right. But damn it, he's not gonna back down now. Not here. Not when things are already this messed up. He takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.

"Look, I don't regret it," he growls, shoving away from the crate abruptly. He's standing and he wants to run, to bail like he always does when things get too emotional, but he can't. J owes her this. He owes himself this. "I don't regret coming here, Kavi. This is who I am. You're angry because you thought I was going to let two of my best friends go off and die without doing anything. But that's on you, not me."

She laughs, bitter and full of disbelief. "Oh, so now this is my fault? News flash J, you don't always have to play hero."

"I'm not a hero. I never was! I didn't ask you to save me out there. We both chose to be here. The only difference is..."

J can't finish that thought. Kavi's staring at him, her brown eyes penetrating, but he can't say it. His tongue feels dryer than it has been all day, and that says something. Words catch in his throat:

I'm not worth anything. But you two are. It's better that I die here to save one of you. Nobody loves me. Nobody will miss me. Not for long, anyways.

"What's the difference, J?" Kavi steps forward, her voice low and tight with emotion. "Again, you're a hypocrite. You shamed me for volunteering, but here you are, taking Paz's spot, putting your life at risk. And for what? You talk about how bad I am, accusing me of playing both you and Paz, but you're just as bad. You don't even care."

J knows he's messing this up. But it's like water filling his lungs, and the more she digs into it, the more he feels like he's suffocating. Drowning.

"I care about you, alright? I care about you, Kavi," he finally gets out, voice cracking. "But you won't let me care. You won't let me do anything right. You haven't given me the chance. I know I fucked up, but not once did you try to talk about this. I get it, you're pissed. But do you know how that made me feel? You want me to be perfect? I'm not. And I never will be. So stop acting like I owe you something I can't give. We need to survive this, together."

There's a long pause. She stares at J, her breath quick and sharp, her eyes searching.

"We'll survive," she agrees, but it's quieter now, almost sad. "But it's gonna be a hell of a lot harder if you keep trying to get yourself killed."

J looks away, swallowing hard, before trying to plaster on a grin. He can tell Kavi doesn't buy it, but at least she doesn't call him out on it. "Yeah, well, we'll see. You know me."

The tension's still thick between them, but at least now they're talking. Maybe not the way J wanted, but talking's something. And for once, he doesn't feel alone in this mess.

They're stuck here together, whether Kavi likes it or not.

x

The sun doesn't go down. The sun never sets. It just hangs—a relentless, molten eye suspended in the heavens, its burning gaze never faltering, never turning away. The sky is a canvas of blistering white and orange and blue, a permanent blaze that sinks into every crevice of the land. No horizon to break its hold, no cool night to soften its fury. It hovers, suspended, its rays falling like daggers, a constant flood of heat that turns the air itself into something thick and unbearable.

It feels like time is lost, like the moment has stretched on forever, caught in the fiery grip of the sun. Day is no longer a concept, just an endless, unrelenting stretch of light that presses down, suffocating and unforgiving. The sun doesn't move, doesn't blink, and it never, ever cools. It is a master, and the arena is its prisoner.

J is about to tell Kavi he's had enough, that he's about to climb down to the water below and try to float near the rock formations that dot the harbor, but then the anthem blares to life. Kavi raises her head wearily, as if confused by the sudden noise. And then she springs to her feet and peers through the slim window. J scrambles over and Kavi makes as much room as possible for him to look up at the sky above the ocean.

The first to appear is Keane. It's a shock to see the face of one of his former allies. The boy from Two was a bit of a dick, but he gave off more groupie vibes than anything. More of a follower than a leader. All of the other Careers suck, but he sucked the least. Either way, one less of them roaming the city is good news for J and Kavi.

He considers it a small win. Though, it confirms both Typhon and Ravana are alive. Boo.

The boy from Three replaces Keane, which means Bernelle is still kicking it too. Districts Five, Six, and Seven have been wiped out entirely. The boy next to him at the start—Eight—appears next. J thinks he got the better deal out of anyone, drowning rather than being boiled alive. Both from Nine and Eleven follow, closing out the recap.

J steps back into the shade and counts on his fingers. And then he recounts for safe measure. Again, math has never been his friend; to be fair, school in general was never his friend. "That's thirteen down on the first day," he says. "Isn't that a record or something?"

"No." Kavi gives him a sidelong glance, turning away from the window. "But it's definitely the bloodiest first day in a long time. Though to be fair, everyone did volunteer this year. We're probably dealing with the deadliest group of tributes in history and they're all eager to get out of here. The arena has only increased the pace of play."

"Makes sense, I guess."

"You really never paid attention at the Center, did you?"

"Nope," J pops his lips with a smile. Kavi rolls her eyes, but shoves him in the shoulder. It's the first sign of getting back to how things used to be between them. J fights the urge to continue pushing. Don't be greedy, he reminds himself.

"You know what this means though?" Kavi asks, sifting through her pack. J shrugs, watching her take a sip of water. "It means the sun is stuck in the sky. There will be no night. No relief from the heat. It's only going to get hotter. They're trying to drive us crazy, fucking with our track of time, our sleep, our ability to think straight…"

"I haven't been thinking straight for years."

Kavi laughs. "Lucky us."

"So what's the plan, then?" J settles on the floor, stretching his legs out. The linen and cotton of his uniform has done little to shield his skin away from sunburn. He feels raw all over.

"We wait."

"We wait? J asks. "Why would we do that? Shouldn't we be out there hunting? Or be on the move? One thing I do remember learning at the Center is that staying still for too long means you're dead."

Kavi settles down on a crate in the middle of the room, shaking her head, loose curls framing her face. "True, but this isn't a normal year. It's a Quell. Which means the Gamemakers have something up their sleeve; if I had to guess, it's been in the works for years."

"So that means?" J pulls his bag over and fishes around until he finds one of his knives. Bored, he begins twirling it around his fingers. Jiles Brooks always gave him shit for not being able to sit still. Cyarah started to give him bits of rope to tie and untie a few months ago. He knew he liked her for a reason.

"It means they have to play their hand earlier than expected. There's less than half the field left. It's only the second day and the environment out there isn't getting easier. I would rather wait to see what they throw at us before we do anything else."

"What else do you think they will throw our way? It's not like we've been smooth sailing so far."

"I don't know, J," Kavi sighs, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand. "But we need to be prepared for anything."

"Aye aye, Captain." J salutes her lazily before slowly getting to his feet, pushing himself from the floor. His limbs ache with protest. Kavi makes a face and then flips him off. J laughs, pocketing the knife before settling against the wall with a small groan of relief—but then comes the pain. A searing heat shoots up his spine, and J jerks away from the wall, instinctively clutching his arm where it had made contact with the surface.

A sharp hiss escapes his lips as he looks down at the backs of his arms. The skin is red, not just sunburnt but actually red, already beginning to bubble and blister. The burn is immediate, like a fire has been set directly under J's skin. His breath hitches, and it takes a moment for his foggy mind to piece together what had just happened.

The golden walls.

"J, what's wrong?" Kavi stands and moves closer. "Are you okay?"

J turns back to look at the wall, eyes widening in horror. The once-dazzling, smooth surface is no longer static, no longer gleaming. It's dripping. Slowly, with tiny rivulets of gold sliding down like wax, pooling on the floor below. The room seems to shimmer as if the very structure of the tower is giving way to the same heat that had driven them into hiding. The golden surface is warping in spots, distorting—softening under the unbearable heat, turning into something that is no longer solid but fluid, like liquid gold slipping away, unable to withstand the sun's touch.

He points. "I think I know the answer to my question."

The reality of it hits—the city itself is melting. Slow enough that they haven't noticed until now. The buildings are no longer just shelter; they're becoming a trap. The golden city, a shining marvel yesterday, is now a slow, agonizing collapse under the weight of its own beauty and the fury of the sun.

Kavi locks eyes with him. Panic starts to rise in J's chest. There is nowhere to hide.

x

J's feet are on fire.

The sensation of his bare feet sinking into the sand is sharp and foreign, more intense than any dune he's ever crossed before in Four. The sand coats his soles and clings to his skin, leaving a trail of footsteps that even the blind could track. J could care less right now though, especially after the morning he's had.

Heat presses against his body, the shimmering, golden haze distorting his vision. The landscape pulses with an eerie warmth that doesn't feel like sunlight, but something more otherworldly, bending reality itself.

He would make a joke about feeling like a fish out of water, but even he isn't in the mood. Kavi would ignore him anyway—she hasn't said a word since their dash through the port. Paz wouldn't ignore him. He'd roll his eyes and liken him to a dried-up shrimp. Fuck, J wishes he could hear Paz's deadpan humor again. His laugh.

Not that he deserves it.

He doesn't deserve to even think about Paz after what he's put him through.

So he focuses on walking. Right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot—

An annoyed grunt escapes his lips.

J lost his sandals somewhere between the ruins of the city and the sand's friction has become a constant tug at his feet—it's not just hot, it's alive, like it's pulling him deeper, shifting and swirling.

Each step is like walking on a surface that's half-solid and half-liquid, with the grainy sand pressing against his toes, but some parts flow, slippery and making every step feel uncertain, like he might sink or slide away entirely.

J strains his neck to look at the horizon behind him. He can no longer see the ocean waves crashing against the sand or smell the familiar sea salt in the air. Kavi tried to steer them near the coast after escaping the city, but the flat beaches closer to the peninsula quickly turned to towering dunes that ran right into the water, making the coast just as uneasy to traverse.

The city's glow catches in the distance, reflecting off the strange, pale dunes. The land itself transforms as he walks across it. J feels caught between a dream and a nightmare, where the sand feels like it's eroding, like he's losing ground with each step.

The sun's beating down harder than he's ever felt before. It's like someone's holding a magnifying glass above him, turning the world into a damn oven. J's legs ache with every step he takes through the blistering sand, the desert stretching out forever in every direction.

The dunes are tall, and the sand is so white it almost hurts to look at. He can barely make out Kavi up ahead, her silhouette just a blur through the haze. She's got her head down, determined to keep going, but J can see the way she's moving—careful, like she's afraid her body might just give out at any moment.

He knows the feeling. His arms are covered in burns from the hell they just barely crawled out of—the city of gold, now nothing but a smoldering wreck behind them. The walls melted quickly after they left the tower, the streets bubbling like they were made of fish stew. He can still hear the screams in his head, but he tries to push them out.

"Kavi!" J calls out, his voice raspy. The air feels thick in his lungs, like he's breathing in molten metal instead of air. She doesn't answer at first, but he can see her shoulders tense up. She's already pushing through it. They both are. They have to.

She turns, eyes squinting at him. Her face is streaked with sweat and dirt, her hair tangled, but her jaw is set in that way J's seen a thousand times when she's not backing down.

"You good?" she asks, her voice barely above a whisper.

J nods, not trusting himself to speak too much. "Just another day in paradise, huh?"

She cracks a half-smile, but it fades quickly. The silence between them is heavy, but he doesn't know what else to say.

They keep walking, feet sinking into the sand with every step, as if the desert is trying to swallow them whole. J's mind is still back in the city, in the chaos of everything that happened—the heat, the fire, the way everything around him turned to liquid gold, threatening to burn him from the inside out.

He glances over at Kavi again. She's holding herself together better than he is, she always has, but J can see it. The same thing that's gnawing at him, gnawing at her too.

They're alive, though. That's all that matters. That's the only thing they have left. Three more tributes can't say the same judging by the cannon blasts.

Every time he blinks sweat from his eyes, J can see the golden bodies of the pair from Ten reaching out for each other. They were so close too, curled up right before one of the gates leading out towards the beach. That could've been us. It can't be us.

So they push on, trudging through the sand, each step dragging them further away from the city that melted and the past J clearly can't fix, given Kavi's continued distance. But maybe…maybe he'll find something out here in the desert. Something that'll make it all worth it.

And J won't rest until he finds it.

x

J stumbles through the endless sea of white sand, every step heavier than the last. His body is a furnace, and the air feels thicker than ever, like it's pressing down on him. The constant rise and fall of the dunes has become a blur, his eyes half-lidded and vision swimming in the heat. Even using his spear as a walking stick does little to help.

It has felt like days—Seas, maybe it was days—since they started trekking across the desert. His feet are raw and blistered from walking barefoot, but at least he can no longer feel the scorching sting of the sand on the bottom of his feet with every step. His arms, his legs—everything aches, the sunburned skin tight and angry red. His stomach churns from a lack of water. They have barely any left, and his body feels like it's shutting down, every muscle screaming for relief.

Kavi is next to him, but she looks just as bad. She's been silent for too long, ever since their last argument a few hours ago after J cursed out old Haliburn for not sending any sponsor gifts their way. All he wanted was some new shoes for fuck's sake! The price for some shitty sandals couldn't be that much at this point.

J was used to their bickering, the constant back-and-forth, but it's different now. She's pissed. Again. Probably rightfully so, considering he'd been pushing them both too hard since he took the lead, but his survival instinct has taken over, and it's hard to care about anything else when he feels like he might collapse at any moment.

The sand stretches for miles in every direction, like it's mocking them, reminding them of how small and powerless they are. He can feel the heat seeping into his bones, the sun beating down without mercy. His body screams at him to stop, to rest, but he can't. He won't. Not with Kavi beside him, dragging herself along just as badly as he is.

The silence between them is thick, oppressive. Only the sound of their footsteps in the soft sand punctuates the air.

Then, suddenly, she stops just as they crest another dune.

Kavi drops onto the sand, her body sagging, and for a second, J thinks she's just catching her breath. But when she doesn't move with her spear laying in her lap, when she just sits there staring blankly out at the horizon, the panic hits him.

"Kavi?" he asks, his voice hoarse from the dryness in his throat. "What are you doing?"

"I'm tired, J," she says, her voice cracking. "I can't...I can't do this anymore. I can't believe I let my parents control my life like this."

Her words knock the wind out of his lungs. Kavi? She's been the one who cleaned up after his messes, the one who kept them moving, even when it felt impossible. And now she's sitting here, looking defeated.

His heart hammers in his chest, and he moves to kneel beside her, trying to make sense of it all. She is falling apart.

"Kavi, hey—don't do this, alright?" he crouches in front of her, snapping his fingers, trying to snap her out of it. "We're almost there. We just need to keep going a little longer."

But she doesn't look at him. Her eyes are distant, staring at the sand, as if she is trying to will it to open up and swallow her whole. Her lips tremble, and before he knows it, her shoulders start shaking.

"I can't..." her voice is barely a whisper. "I'm so tired, J. I'm so tired of everything. Of being the one who has to keep everything together. I can't keep doing this. Not for you. Not for me. Not for anyone."

J's chest tightens, a pang of guilt twisting inside him. He was used to being the screw-up, the one who needed to be picked up and held together, but Kavi—she has always been the rock. The one who held them all up.

This isn't supposed to be happening. Not to her. Not now.

His voice is desperate, trying to make her see reason. "You're not alone in this, alright? You don't have to keep it together all the time. You've got me. I won't leave you out here. I can't leave you out here."

But she just shakes her head, tears starting to pool in her eyes. It's the first sign of any water he's seen since they downed their last bottle. "You don't get it, J. I'm not...I'm not strong enough. I'm not enough. I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry. I'm done."

"No." J's voice is sharp now, but his frustration and fear are spilling over like a boiling pot. He grabs her by the shoulders, trying to make her look at him. "You're not done. You're Kaveri fucking Cevallos, you hear me? You've gotten us this far. You're not giving up now."

She turns away, looking at the sand, her hands digging into it like it's the only thing holding her up. "I can't do this forever. I'm not invincible."

His breath catches in his chest. The thought of losing her—of her just giving up—makes everything inside him twist painfully. He can't lose her. Not here. Not now. Not like this.

"You're not alone, Kavi." J gestures around wildly, full of intensity, but he won't let her slip under. She's saved him from drowning too many times over. Literally, too. "I won't let you do this. I'm not going anywhere. I don't care how much sand we walk through or how hot it gets. I'm not letting you die out here. I'm not letting you give up on us. On the Pogies. Not while I'm still standing."

She glances up at him then, her eyes red, her face streaked with tears, but there is something in her gaze—something softening. And before she can say anything, J's heart jumps into his throat.

A single drop of rain lands on his cheek, cool and refreshing.

For a moment, J just stands there, blinking in disbelief. He stares at the sky, the dark clouds swirling above them like a warning or a promise.

"What?" his voice falters, a tremor running through him. "Did you...?"

At first, J thinks he's hallucinating, the exhaustion and the heat warping his senses. But no—no—there are clouds. Dark, looming clouds that appear out of nowhere, blocking the blinding sun. It takes him a second to process, then another to realize it isn't just the clouds that are shifting, but the air itself.

Rain.

It starts slowly, just a trickle at first, but then comes a downpour, the cool water splattering against his sunburned skin. His head spins, not sure if it's from the heat or the relief, but he can't move. He just crouches there, hands at his sides, chest heaving, as the cold drops pelt his face, his body, his raw, aching limbs. He gasps like a man who hasn't taken a breath in ages, soaking it in, the sudden sensation of something good after what feels like an eternity of torment.

He can't help the grin that spreads across his face, even though it feels like his mouth is a desert itself. The shock of the rain had left him almost speechless for a moment, but now...now he has a plan.

J turns toward Kavi, still sitting in the downpour, still trying to get her bearings. "Come on, you've got better aim than me. We can't waste a drop of this."

Kavi shoots him a look—one of those 'you can't be serious' looks—but for once, he sees a flicker of something different in her eyes. It isn't anger. It isn't sadness. It isn't even exhaustion. It's the tiniest hint of a smile. A flicker of hope.

He won't let it sputter out.

J raises his eyebrows, voice teasing despite the circumstances. "Or you can just let me drink all the rainwater and you can keep looking like a wet dog. Your call."

Kavi blinks, her tears suddenly mixing with the rain that begins to fall harder, faster. It's as if the sky itself is pulling them from the brink of death. A shaky laugh breaks from Kavi's lips, the first real one he's heard in what feels like forever. "Are you seriously saying the rain's gonna save us?"

J grins, unable to stop himself. "You think it's a sign we're not dead yet?"

Shaking her head, Kavi's shoulders finally relax, the tension breaking between them. "I think it's a sign you're incredibly lucky, Jasper Morrissey."

"Using my government name now, are you? Paz might have some words."

"Just repaying the favor."

His grin widens, the heat of the desert disappearing, if only for a moment. "Hey, we're both lucky. Now let's get those water bottles, huh? We're not letting this go to waste. And I'm still counting on Jiles Brooks punching me in the face when we get back."

Kavi punches him in the shoulder. "Consider that a preview, fish head."

J hesitates for just a second before he nods, his hands grabbing for the bottles in the single pack they saved from the city, and together they rush to catch the rain. For just a moment, everything else fades away. The pain, the exhaustion, the fear—they are nothing in the face of this unexpected relief.

They aren't going to die out here after all.

And maybe, just maybe, they are going to be okay.

x

They run, letting the storm drench them like they are kids again. It's like the universe knew they needed a break.

Eventually, the rain lets up but the cloud coverage remains, providing a nice breeze and reprieve from the sun.

Hours pass, and now here they are, standing at the edge of what J can only call a damn miracle. A valley of freshwater lagoons stretch out in front of him. Beautiful, serene, and most importantly—real. No mirage, no trick of the light. It seems the rainwater has pooled in between the sand dunes, creating a natural paradise. The bright blue water shimmers, reflecting off the overcast sky like a perfect piece of art that nature forgot to finish.

J glances at Kavi, and she is already grinning like a child dancing through the streets during the Summer Solstice festival back in Four. "You see that, Kavi? This isn't some fever dream, right?" he asks, offering a lopsided grin.

She laughs, her usual confidence shining through. "Looks pretty damn real to me, J."

"Best thing I've seen all week," he shouts back, starting to make his way down the dune. "Come on, before we change our minds and the water disappears.

J doesn't need to say it twice. Kavi is already sprinting beside him, her laughter echoing off the dunes as they race toward the water. No more walking, no more heat. Just pure, unfiltered joy as they reach the edge of the closest lagoon.

The cool water rushes over his ankles, and J can't stop himself from diving in—letting the weight of the desert disappear with every stroke. He can feel the relief in his soul, the weight lifting off his shoulders. J hadn't realized how heavy it was.

Closing his eyes beneath the water, J imagines he's back in the Southern Banks; another day spent with the Pogies. Jiles Brooks and Saina acting like lovebirds on the shore. Cyarah surfing the waves. Paz fighting off J's attempts to drag him under the sea, poking him in the ribs and returning his own headlock.

Kavi comes up next to him when he resurfaces, splashing water at him with a mischievous grin. "I bet I can swim across faster than you."

"Oh, you're so on."

x

The cool water of the lagoon has been a damn blessing after the hellish desert trek. Cooling off for some time, letting the heat of the desert drift away with each wave that laps at the shore, has been just what J needed. What they needed.

Fish officially back in water.

There is something about this place—this oasis—that feels almost too good to be true. After everything they'd been through, it's like a little piece of paradise has dropped into their laps. And J plans on enjoying it while it lasts.

J is stretched out on the warm sand, half-dozing, so it takes a minute for him to hear the distinct sound of someone tumbling down a dune. Springing up, eyes scanning the horizon, J instinctively reaches for one of his knives in the sand.

Two figures are falling, kicking up sand as they roll toward another nearby lagoon. They land with a splash at the water's edge, scrambling to get up, and it doesn't take long for J to realize they are running from something—or someone.

"J," Kavi says, her voice tense as she slowly rises from the shallow water. "What the hell is going on?"

Narrowing his eyes, J's gut tells him something isn't right. And then, he sees her. The third figure, chasing after the pair like a damn predator. He doesn't even have to think twice. J knows exactly who it was.

Anger rises in his chest. "Shit."

Kavi's eyes go wide as she catches sight of the girl pursuing their new guests. "No way. That psycho?"

J lets out a frustrated sigh. "Yeah, our favorite former ally. And I'm guessing she's not here for a swim."

He's spent enough time with Bernelle to know she isn't just chasing them for shit's and giggles. There's something darker behind it. The girl from Two is dangerous. Unhinged. Training as a group in the Capitol made that perfectly clear. But even from this far away, J can tell the arena hasn't been kind to her. And Bernelle isn't going to stop until she gets what she wants: blood.

Kavi doesn't hesitate for a second. "We need to get out of here before she sees us. While she's distracted, we can slip away."

J doesn't even flinch at the suggestion. It isn't in him to run when he sees someone in trouble. It isn't in him to just turn away from this. The other Career is already closing in on the two figures who'd tumbled down the dune, and if he doesn't step in, they are going to be in real trouble.

And they might be next.

"Not happening," J says, shaking my head. He thinks of the Bloodbath and Typhon. "I'm not running this time."

Kavi's expression hardens, her eyes filled with disbelief. "J, she's not like the other Careers."

"I don't care," he snaps. "If we don't do something now, she's gonna keep coming for us. She'll keep hunting us down, and I'm not waiting around for that."

Kavi's voice grows more urgent. "J, this isn't our fight! We don't even know who those tributes are!"

But J has already made up his mind. He knows that if he doesn't act now, this will keep happening, over and over again. And if he runs, they'd be next. Again.

"Doesn't matter." J is already turning to sprint toward the next lagoon, weapons already sheathed. "I'm not going to give her an opportunity to walk over us. Stay here."

J hears Kavi's voice calling after him, but he is already too far gone. The adrenaline is coursing through his veins, and his mind is set. Determined. He can see Bernelle rapidly approaching the two figures. Closing the distance, J can see the panic in their movements as they try to scramble out of the Two girl's reach. They aren't equipped to fight back—not like he and Kavi are.

One figure—J recognizes them as the girl from Twelve that saved his ass on the first day—lifts a crossbow from the ground and points it in Bernelle's direction. The girl tries to dodge out of the way, but from the scream of frustration that punches the air, J can guess she's been hit.

He makes his move, legs burning as he charges down the sand toward the struggle. J's instincts kick in. He has his spear in hand and knives in his belt, ready to throw them if he has to.

As he reaches the edge of the water, he watches Bernelle dive to avoid another projectile and quickly lunges at the pair from Twelve with a sword, knocking the girl to the ground in a cascade of crimson. The boy tries to fight back, putting himself between the Career and his fallen ally, but it's clear they are overpowered.

"Hey!" J shouts, hoping to draw the girl's attention. "Long time no see, Bernie!"

Bernelle whips around, a nasty smirk crossing her face as she sees J running toward the group. An arrow protrudes from her left shoulder, twisted and coated in blood. "Well, well, if it isn't the idiot who can't stay out of trouble."

J doesn't wait for her to make the first move. He swings the spear, hitting Bernelle in her injured shoulder and throwing her off balance. She stumbles back with a scream, but J doesn't give her time to recover. He charges, tackling her to the ground and pinning her for a second.

He can hear shouting from behind, but J is beyond thinking about anyone else for now. This is the moment. He has to stop Bernelle. She's like Typhon and Ravana, dangerous and well-trained, but there's no mistaking there's something off about her. Something not quite right.

Bernelle growls, trying to shove him off, but J refuses to let go. His hands grip her wrist as she reaches for her sword, trying to get a slash in. J narrowly avoids the slice but he swears a few strands of his hair fall to the soft earth.

The fight becomes a scrabble in the sand after that.

They tumble and claw at each other like animals. J fights to maintain his position on top, twisting around the arrow lodged in her body, but Bernelle is quick, too quick. He feels her knee slam into his ribs, and then her hands are around his throat, grains of sand scratching his bare shoulders.

"Let's see how long a Four like you can last underwater," she sneers, her voice cold and cruel. J has barely any time to register the words before his head is shoved backwards into the lagoon.

The water is dark and suffocating—a far cry from the bliss it brought not too long ago. He struggles, gasping for air, but Bernelle presses harder, grinding the back of his head into the wet sand below the surface. For a second, J panics—hold on! He can't die here. Not now.

Getting murdered by a lunatic would be so embarrassing. Jiles Brooks would never let him live it down, even as a ghost. And of all the ways to go? Drowning? No way a Pogie is going to drown in this shithole.

J uses the last of his strength to tear at the Two girl's wrists, arms, shirt, anything. He's desperate and his vision is starting to blur and nononono J can't let this happen, he can't fail—

A flash of movement above the water catches J's eye.

Everything is a blur, the world muffled beneath the surface as the weight of the water presses down on him. J's lungs scream, desperate for air. His brain is telling J to fight, to break free, but the water is paralyzing, thick, suffocating.

A shout of fury is muffled by the water and then strong hands grip J's shoulders and yank him upward, tearing him from the shallow water. He doesn't even have time to register what is happening before J is gasping, choking on the air, his body violently dragged across the sand.

The warmth of the ground hits him like a wave, the rough texture of the sand against J's skin grounding as he slumps onto his side. Cursing and screaming and the sound of violence continues somewhere nearby but all J can do is cough violently, his lungs betraying him, spitting up water in a violent, guttural spray.

Each breath is ragged and deep, J's chest burning, as if his entire body is trying to reset, to remember how to breathe.

His hands shake as he presses them against the sand, trying to steady himself on his knees. The sensation of air rushing back into his lungs is a gift J didn't realize he needed until it was almost too late.

J looks up, vision still blurred, and through the haze, he sees her—Kavi, standing to his right, her face a mask of rage. The air is too hot against his skin, the blood in his veins still running cold from the water, but he's alive. Still breathing. And for now, that is enough.

But it's not over.

"How cute. Your little girlfriend has come to your rescue." Bernelle spits out blood and cracks an uneasy grin. She's missing a tooth and covered in cuts and bruises. J wants to offer Kavi a high five, but now's probably not the right time. "I think I'm going to make you watch me kill her first. As a special treat."

She launches herself at Kavi, like a fucking force of nature. J forgets how to breathe all over again as Kavi runs from his side to meet her. Bernelle's sword glints in the sunlight, already splattered with blood, but Kavi ducks, driving her spear downward into their former ally's left thigh.

Another screech pierces the air.

Kavi twists and kicks out, her foot slamming into Bernelle's chest, while J scrambles to a sitting position, still near the water's edge. Bernelle's caught off guard by how fast Kavi's turned the tables, clearly trying to maintain her balance as she slashes the open air.

Kavi continues to push Bernelle back, giving her no room to regain control. The fight is quick, messy, but effective. Eventually, there's nowhere else to run. The Two girl's back is to him, still trying to ward off any attacks in front, but J can tell she's on the verge of collapse.

Kavi raises her spear one more time. There's a gasp and the sound of a fish being gutted—but this isn't the docks back in the Southern Banks. J has to remind himself of that as he sees droplets of blood rain down on the sand beneath the girl from Two's sandals.

In the end, Bernelle drops her weapon, her arms wrapped around her midsection, uncaring of the steps she takes backwards. It's easy for J to stick out his leg and catch her off balance.

The splash is sudden, jarring, but all he can do is watch as the Career falls into the lagoon.

The water, once calm and crystal clear, now ripples with a dark hue, swirling in slow, deliberate patterns. A deep red stain bleeds into the pale blue, twisting and curling, spreading out from where Bernelle's body floats.

It's as if the oasis itself absorbs the violence, carrying it away into its depths. Each movement of the water pulls the blood further, the liquid darkening, muddying the once pristine surface. The water now holds onto the evidence of their murder, leaving behind only faint traces of the fight.

J feels a touch at his shoulder and he turns to look up. Kavi doesn't meet his gaze, eyes focused on the result of her first kill, but he can feel her fingers shake where they press into his muscle. J rests a hand on top of her knuckles—it's the only comfort he can give.

He never meant for her to take up a weapon. She's more skilled than him, definitely better prepared to handle a fight, but J never meant to put her in danger. But here they are again, with J barely alive and Kavi having to bear the brunt of his actions.

J just wanted to protect her. By the look in Kavi's hardened features, this isn't something they'll ever come back from. She's going to have to live with this forever and it's all his fault.

Again.

An apology is stuck in his throat alongside what feels like hundreds of fishhooks, but he can't force the words out: it feels pointless. J will just screw things up right after. He'll continue to put Kavi in harm's way. Even his best intentions cause pain. Every decision leads to ruin. Is he really only someone that can deal out hurt and not love?

Maybe he really is his father.

It's a thought he's pushed back against for so long, a horrifying truth J's been running from since the day he snuck into Jiles Brooks' window. The bruises have faded from his skin, but he's made sure to dole out his own bruises on others.

J feels sick, and not because he almost drowned for the second time in however many days they've been stuck in here. His mind whirls with a hundred things he could say to Kavi: about how it's going to be alright, that she saved his life, it's one less person out there salivating for their heads on a spike. But if J's actions have become sticks of dynamite blowing up everything around him, then his words have become missiles, and he doesn't trust himself to not launch them again.

So instead of focusing on the red waves that lap at the shore by his bare feet, J continues to rub the back of Kavi's hand, hoping that his next blunder won't cost them everything.

Boom.

x

The boy from Twelve sits by his district partner long past her canon sounding. It's been at least half an hour, longer than the usual time allowed for a tribute to linger around one of the fallen. J is fully expecting a hovercraft to appear above them, ready to stun the boy, driving him away from the corpse.

Benelle's body still floats on the surface of the water, mocking even in death. Her short hair is spread out like wisps, dark tendrils flowing in opposite directions, suspended in the gentle motion of the water.

J looks away, kicking his foot in the sand.

The wind howls through the desert, a dry, suffocating roar that swallows up everything in its path. J stares at Kavi as she works, her hands swift but hesitant as she packs their things. There is still a tension between them, hanging in the air. The silence stretches out, thick and uncomfortable.

How have things become even more fucked since the reaping?

J messed up, he knows that. He dragged her into this—into all of it. But he couldn't help himself. She was right there, and he had to fight. Had to protect her. Had to...but J shouldn't have forced her into it. He should've thought for once before running to trouble.

She's a Career, yes, but J never wanted her to get her hands dirty. Call him stupid for thinking he could be her shield, but he just wanted to do good for once. To show that he could hold them together.

He steals a glance at Kavi, her expression unreadable, eyes downcast. The sand at their feet is so white it almost hurts to look at, an endless stretch of emptiness between them and the young boy from Twelve still crying softly by the lagoon. She hasn't said anything to him since the fight, and though J wants to apologize, to explain, the words just don't come. He doesn't want to make it worse.

He glances over at the boy again, clutching his ally's lifeless body, refusing to leave her side. J feels bad for the kid.

The silence lingers for what feels like an eternity, broken only by the occasional sob from the boy. The weight of the moment is too heavy to ignore. They fought together, survived together, but now the distance between them feels even more insurmountable than before.

Fuck it, he needs to say something.

"Kavi…" he starts, his voice barely above a whisper. He clears his throat. "Look…I know I pulled you into that fight, and it wasn't fair. I just...I didn't think. I didn't think about what it might do to you. What you would be forced to do."

She pauses, her fingers tightening around their bag of supplies. She doesn't look at him, but he can feel the tension in her shoulders. The words are there, but she doesn't speak.

"I'm sorry." The words feel too small for what he's done, but it's all he could offer. "I didn't want to put you in that position."

Still, no response. Seas, this is bad.

Just as J opens his mouth to try again, the wind suddenly picks up, whipping sand across the lagoons with alarming force. The temperature drops. The Twelve boy lets out a choked sob, clinging tighter to his partner's body, seeking comfort.

A soft pinging floats through the air, drawing J's attention. Kavi whips her head around, searching the sky. A golden parachute sways in the air, caught between violent gusts, dangerously teetering from side to side as the wind picks up.

Kavi jumps up to snatch the sponsor gift before it flies away forever.

She quickly yanks two pairs of goggles from the canister, followed by a bundle of blue fabric. "Here!" Without thinking, J catches the sponsor gifts thrown at his chest. "Put those on!"

Kavi ties the fabric around her head, her motions sharp and purposeful. It looks like one of the scarves some of the deckhands wear down by the wharf in Bluport. Without thinking, J follows suit, putting on his own scarf and goggles.

"Wait!" J has to yell to be heard. "No sandals?"

The winds tear at his clothes, pulling at him, pushing him backward. Kavi shakes her head before slinging their bag of supplies over her shoulder. J flips off the darkening sky. "Suck my balls, Haliburn!"

"We've got to go, J!"

"Coming!" J shouts over the roaring wind, his heart pounding as he reaches for her hand. His fingers brush hers, desperate to feel the connection, to keep her close. But she pulls away, her hand slipping from his grip. His heart drops.

No. Not now.

The gusts are nearly blinding, and the sand stings like a thousand needles against his skin. He squints through the goggles as he tries to follow Kavi up the dunes, away from the lagoon, but she's already a few steps ahead, racing away from the oasis, away from the boy from Twelve, her figure barely visible through the storm.

"Kavi!" he shouts again, this time louder, his voice cracking with urgency. "Kavi, wait!"

But the wind steals his words, swallowing them whole. J pushes forward, his legs fighting against the sand as it piles up around him. His heart hammers in his chest as he sprints, his eyes desperately scanning for her.

He can't lose her. Not like this.

Dust rises from the ground in tendrils, thin trails of sand dancing in the air before thickening into a massive wall of white. It comes without warning—silent but for the growing rumble, like the desert itself exhaling in fury.

It's a far cry from the rainstorm yesterday.

The sandstorm is a wall, a blinding veil of white. J stumbles, nearly losing his footing, but keeps moving. The world around him is chaotic. He can't see the dunes anymore, even with the goggles. He's losing sight of Kavi. He can't hear anything except the howl of the wind.

Stay focused. Stay with her.

But then, just like that, the wind shifts. Kavi's form vanishes completely into the storm. He is alone.

He's always been alone.

"Kavi!" J screams, his voice breaking. But the storm only answers with more wind, more sand.

J pushes through the sand that cuts like knives, desperation clawing at his throat. He doesn't know where she is, doesn't know if she can hear him.

He presses on slowly, the world spinning around him. The storm grows stronger, faster; the distance between him and Kavi, already miles apart, feels like a chasm now.

And in the suffocating white void, J finds himself slipping deeper into panic, unable to stop, unable to turn back.

Please...please be okay.

His breath is ragged, even with the fabric protecting his mouth, and every step J takes feels uncertain, like he's sinking deeper into a pit he can't escape.

J tries to listen, strain his ears for any sign of his partner—his friend—Kavi's voice, a call, anything to guide him through the onslaught. But all he heard is the relentless cackle of the wind, a sound so deafening, it drowns out everything else.

He takes another step, his feet heavy in the shifting sand, and he calls out again. "Kavi! Kaveri, where are you?"

But his voice is swallowed again by the storm, just another fleeting noise. The silence that follows is suffocating, pressing in on J from all sides. He tries again, his voice louder this time, but the wind twists J's words, tearing them away before they can even reach the air.

J closes his eyes, trying to focus, trying to ignore the sting of the sand on his bare arms, the way his body shakes from the cold. But the more he walks, the more violent the wind becomes. J swears he can hear something. A voice. Familiar. Too familiar.

It's soft at first, a faint whisper against the fury of the storm. J stops and listens harder.

"Pathetic. Always running. Always hiding."

The wind grows louder, more insistent, and the words hit him like a slap. The voice grows clearer, the cruel, mocking tone unmistakable. "You think anyone cares about you, boy?"

J freezes, terror flooding through his veins. No, it's not him. It can't be him. It's just the wind.

But the voice persists, warping with every gust. "Always needing someone to save you. Always failing. Just like your mother—weak."

The words bite into his soul, each one tearing open a wound he's tried so hard to bury. J's hands tremble, and he clutches at the scarf around his neck, but it doesn't help. The storm is everywhere, and it's turning into him, turning into everything he's tried to run away from. That laughter. That horrible, mocking sound. J tries to shake it off, to focus on finding Kavi, but the storm's grip is too strong. The words fill his mind, crowding out everything else.

"Always so much hope, but you're just like me. You'll never be good enough. You are not worthy of love."

The wind howls again, drowning out J's thoughts, and he finds himself gasping for breath, his pulse pounding in his ears.

He wants to scream, but instead he staggers forward, desperate to get away from the voice, from the echoes of that man's cruelty. J can't be weak. He can't.

He can't show that he cares.

J won't admit that his father has any power over him.

The wind is relentless, and the darkness presses in. The storm not only lives around him, but it lives in his veins. In his mind. In his heart. A faint cannon shot sounds overhead.

"Kavi, I'm coming! I won't lose you!"

J becomes one with the storm.

x

The sandstorm's got J in its grip, and no matter how tight he pulls the scarf around his face, it's like trying to keep a wild animal at bay. He can barely see anything, not even his hands trying to block the wind. The only thing J's got going for him are the goggles, but they're fogging up too, and the wind's getting stronger with every step he takes.

"Come on, Kavi," J mutters to himself. "Where the hell are you?"

He keeps moving, feet sinking into the loose sand with every step. But J can't stop—won't give up. Not now. Not when she's out there alone.

Then, the ground beneath J just...gives.

He barely has time to react. One second, he's standing, struggling to stay on his feet, and the next, J's falling—tumbling. Sand rushes in, swirling around him like a vicious current, and he can't do anything but brace himself, letting his body go limp and just fall.

It's endless.

Finally, the world slows. The frenzy of the storm dulls, the wind dying down, and the weight of the sand that's been choking him lifts.

J finds himself lying flat on his back, staring at the sky. Or at least he thinks it's the sky—can't really tell with all this white. Everything around him is an eerie, dead, pale color. There's no sandstorm anymore, no shrieking wind. Just silence.

He rips the goggles off his face, blinking hard against the bright light, his head spinning.

What the hell?

J sits up, wiping the sand from his arms, his chest. He takes a look around, and all he can see is white, cracked, dry—like the earth has just given up. The whole place is desolate. Thorny trees are scattered here and there, their skeletal limbs reaching for a sky that doesn't seem to care. This place...this isn't like anything he's seen before. There's no sign of Kavi, no nothing.

He staggers to his feet, knees shaking from the drop. His heart's still racing, the adrenaline pumping through J's veins. He's alive. But where the hell is he? Where is Kavi?

The anthem plays suddenly, announcing the fallen and the start of a new day. Bernelle. Eight girl. Twelve girl.

J steps forward, trying to keep his balance, the dry earth crunching underfoot. The trees don't seem to have any leaves, just twisted limbs. It's like they've been here forever—dead, but not rotting.

A soft whoosh cuts through the air, and before J can react, something cold and sharp whizzes by his face.

A knife.

Pain explodes from his temple, enough to catch J by surprise, and he falls to the side, crawling to the nearest tree. "What the shit!"

J moves his hand to the side of his face, smearing blood and sweat. He instinctively reaches for his spear strapped to his back before peaking around the trunk, but it's too late.

A slight figure steps from behind one of the trees—Ravana. The beautiful girl from One that didn't waste any time being a bitch to him the second they met at the opening ceremonies. She's got a cold, sly look to her. A soft smile appears on her face as she sizes J up, her brown eyes glinting in the light.

"You're lost," she says, her voice light with amusement. Teasing. "Looking for your little friend, huh? Yeah, she's not too far off. But I'm guessing you won't be able to do much about it."

J's hand tightens on the shaft of the spear, using the butt to help himself stand. He lets out a laugh, cracking his neck, and wiping more blood from the cut on his temple.

"You know, you're a real piece of work," J calls out, grinning despite the heat in his chest. "You throw a knife, and then you talk like some smug asshole. What, you think that's gonna scare me?"

Ravana's smile doesn't falter, but her eyes narrow. "It doesn't have to scare you, Four. It's just a fact—you're too late to save her. You'll be lucky if you get out of here alive, let alone stop Typhon from getting to Kaveri first. We've already won."

J feels the weight of her words, but he won't let her see it. Not now.

Instead, he decides to do what he does best: toss a few insults back her way, trying to bait the brunette. "How cute. You think I'm scared of you, huh? All you've ever been good for is lying on your back for your partner. He told me as much during training."

Ravana's smile drops. Hate spills into her eyes. Good. The more angry he can make her, the better his chances.

Boom. Fear bubbles inside his throat at the sound of the cannon, but J's always been good at smothering it out by masking it with obnoxiousness.

"Well, it seems Kavi is the one lying on her back now."

Before she can say anything else, J rushes at her.

The air is still thick with tension, and the ground's chalky beneath his feet, but that doesn't stop him. Ravana throws another knife and J uses his spear as a shield, knocking away the flash of gold. The girl from One dances between the trees, continuing to launch knife after knife. But J knows she doesn't have a limitless supply; he just has to keep pressing forward.

More knicks and cuts slice through his skin, but J files the pain away in his mind as something to feel later. He rounds another tree only to find Ravana grabbing at her belt for another weapon.

"Uh oh," J clicks his tongue. "That's not good."

"Shut it, Four."

"Is someone mad, One? Your boyfriend isn't here to save you?"

Ravana dives at him, grappling for the spear. J's back is slammed against harsh bark with a loud crack. The spear is tugged every which way until the shaft is pushed against his throat, J's hands trembling with effort to keep the weapon from being turned against him.

"Damn, One. This is some spicy foreplay," J grits out, smiling. "I knew you were into some kinky shit."

Ravana moves her face closer, snarling in his face. "You would be so lucky."

Sucker. J spits in her eyes, a mix of blood and slime, making the girl from One step back in shock. He wastes no time in pushing the weapon from his neck and throwing a fist. His knuckles connect with Ravana's jaw, a satisfying crunch echoing in the open space. She stumbles back and J takes control of the spear again.

This is no longer a fight for survival. It's a fight for Kavi. It's a fight for the Pogies. It's a fight to make it back home to Jiles Brooks. To Paz.

J runs towards the girl from One, the roles reversed, the spear point driving her back until she finds herself cornered against another skeletal tree. There's no hesitation. He jabs the spear through Ravana's stomach until the head becomes stuck in the bark.

He can't look away from the horror in his former ally's eyes as realization dawns on her—she's lost. Red spills from her lips, coating her chin, the front of her shirt. A gasp escapes her mouth and all J can do is fall to the ground, exhausted. The spear remains, pinning the Career in place.

Bile erupts from J's mouth, leaving him in a sick coughing fit.

Ravana's cannon rings throughout the wasteland.

Three remain.

Only one person stands between him and Kavi making it out of here. J just has to find her—before Typhon does.

x

The flat, dry ground stretches out forever; a vast, cracked expanse. The earth is hard, almost brittle beneath his feet—sharp edges of dried salt crusts pressing against J's soles. It's an unsettling sensation, the roughness.

Salt sticks to his skin, clinging to the bottom of his feet, making each step gritty, and after a while, the salt crystals begin to rub and irritate, like tiny, abrasive grains scraping against J's already raw skin. Every movement feels a bit like dragging his feet through sandpaper, only the sensation is sharper, harsher.

If he gets through this, Haliburn won't hear the end of it. Bastard.

J can barely keep his eyes open, squinting against the bright, unforgiving light, but it doesn't matter how hard he tries—there's no escape from glare, no shelter from the emptiness of it all.

It's been hours since he left Ravana. Since he began his search for Kavi.

The farther he goes, the more disorienting it becomes. The vastness of the flat, the white expanse stretching in every direction—it's tiring. J's been walking for so long, it's hard to even remember what it felt like to be anywhere else.

But something on the horizon makes J stop in his tracks. The splintered ground begins to change. The ground is...wet? No, not wet, it's more like a thin film of water, just enough to reflect the sky.

The transformation is slow, but it's undeniable. The air feels cooler now, and as J looks down, he can see the white salt beneath him begin to shimmer and distort. The water, barely an inch deep, spreads across the land like liquid glass, covering the cracks in the earth.

It's like he's walking on a mirror.

The blue sky stretches out in every direction, perfect and uninterrupted. The sun, the puffy clouds above him—all of it reflects back perfectly in the thin layer of water.

J feels like he's floating, like the ground is gone, and he's drifting in the air. His legs feel heavy, his chest tight, and his heart pounds in his ears as he tries to make sense of the world around him. It's breathtaking—utterly surreal.

He hates it. The fakeness of it all. The fact that some Capitol fuckers engineered it.

J looks down at his own reflection, his figure staring back, distorted by the ripples of the water. The world's upside down, and he can't tell if it's the heat, the exhaustion, or the sheer wonder of what he's seeing that's making his head spin. It's trippy, like J's walking through a dream, and he almost forgets where he's going. Almost.

But then J sees them.

Movement far off on the horizon, shapes barely visible against the bright expanse of the sky. At first, J thinks it's just a trick of the light, but as he squints, he makes out two silhouettes. One's holding something—no, a sword. And the other...a spear.

Kavi.

It's her.

He doesn't need to see more to know. She's fighting Typhon, and J needs to get over there now.

Adrenaline hits, sharp and urgent. Every injury he's taken, every bruise and cut he's ignored, becomes an even more distant memory.

Kavi needs him.

Pushing himself into motion, ignoring the pain that flares from the fight he barely survived with Ravana, J picks up the pace. He keeps going, faster and faster now. The ground continues to stretch farther, the mirror effect twisting his perception, making it hard to judge distances. But J keeps his eyes fixed on her.

The horizon grows closer, and the figures become more distinct, the clashing of metal sharp in the silence of the vast flat. Kavi's movements are fluid, powerful, but J can tell she's struggling. Typhon's keeping her on the defensive, forcing her to dodge and block with the spear.

His feet are already aching, his breath shallow, but J pushes through it. Time is his enemy, and he doesn't know how much of it he has left. He doesn't know if she can hold out much longer.

The mirror beneath J wavers with each step, the sky above still perfect, still unbroken. But he can't stop looking ahead, can't stop watching the fight unfold, knowing he's the only one who can stop it.

He has to stop it.

Kavi's good, but Typhon scored an eleven for a reason. He would've killed J during the bloodbath if Kavi didn't interfere; he doesn't seem like the kind of guy that forgives and forgets. Out of all the Careers, even Bernelle, he was undoubtedly the biggest prick during their stay at the Training Center. He made it no secret that he didn't want J in the alliance.

Kavi's got her spear, but it's not going to be enough if J doesn't create a distraction soon.

The world around him is a strange, reflective place, but his focus is only on one thing now.

I'm coming.

x

J's feet are sinking into shallow puddles with every hurried step, the water cold against his raw, aching soles, but it doesn't matter. Not when he has a single goal in mind.

Kavi's fighting for her life. Alone. The world feels a little hazy, but J continues limp-walking across the flat. The water's up to his ankles now, making his movements slower, but he keeps moving. He's so close—J can feel it.

They don't see him coming.

He can't make a direct attack. Not like this. J needs to cause a distraction, something big enough to throw Typhon off his game.

So, he does what he does best: J opens his mouth.

"Hey, gemhead! How's the nose?"

The words come out more raspy than he'd like, but it works. The One boy turns, his eyes narrowing as he sees J limping toward them, dripping from the water. His sword glints in the sun, but J can tell he's got his attention.

Typhon's nose is still swollen, uneven, like it's been shoved out of place. The bridge is crooked, not where it should be, and the skin is bruised, a deep shade of purple and black, spreading across his face like a dark shadow. A look of hurt flashes in his eyes.

He was expecting Ravana.

"Hey, look at me, you overrated Career wannabe!" he adds, voice a little louder now. "Are you really that dumb? Can't even beat a girl with a stick?"

Kavi's surprised for a split second, but she takes advantage of the momentary confusion, jabbing her spear at the Typhon's calf, tearing through muscle and tendon. J doesn't waste any time as the other boy cries out, swinging his own spear as soon as he's in reach.

Together, they try to tag team him. Kavi swings her weapon at him again, but Typhon's quick and too damn strong. He recovers in seconds, swinging his sword and deftly avoiding their blows. Their movements are frantic, desperate—each strike, each lunge, fueled by sheer willpower and the primal need to survive.

Typhon is a wall of muscle and skill, his every move precise and lethal, his sword flashing with gilded brilliance. He's a force of nature, his strength undeniable, his talent evident in every calculated swing and thrust.

But they don't stop. They can't.

"You know," J begins, "you look like you've seen better days, Ty Ty. Even Ravana put up a better fight before I killed her."

Typhon growls and blindly lashes his blade. "Don't mention her name!"

"Why? If anything, she probably let me stab her so she didn't have to deal with your ugly ass anymore."

Another slash, another opening for Kavi to slice into the blonde's side. Typhon whirls around, striking out again. J takes a step too slow, too preoccupied with gearing up another insult. The sword crashes against his side, cutting deep, blood pouring from the wound as J staggers back, gritting his teeth in pain.

Kavi doesn't hesitate. With a primal scream, she leaps in to counterattack, slashing at Typhon's back. The blade sinks into flesh, but it's not enough to bring him down. The One boy snarls in pain but doesn't falter—his muscles rippling as he swipes the sword back, narrowly missing Kavi.

J knows this is not going to end well. The pain in his side sharpens with every movement, but he can't back down. He won't. Not when Kavi's depending on him. Then it clicks. An idea.

What else can he do but throw himself into the fire?

He can feel the blood rushing in his head as he makes a snap decision.

"Kavi, move!"

She looks at J like he's crazy, but he can see in her eyes she knows. She understands.

"J, no!" she shouts, but it's too late.

Crouching, J splashes water in Typhon's face with the end of his spear as the other boy moves to intercept him. It's only for a second, but it works—the One boy stumbles back, blinking away the water. The gamble's enough.

J doesn't think. He just acts on instinct.

He slides beneath a rogue swipe of Typhon's sword, slashing at his legs. The water beneath their feet ripples with maroon. J jumps in front of Kavi, shoving her back with everything he's got, just as Typhon recovers and lunges toward them. The other Career grunts, ready to slice them down, his weapon gleaming in the sunlight as it's aimed straight for Kavi. But it doesn't hit her.

The pain is immediate, brutal—a sharp, searing heat right through his chest. J's breath catches, a strangled gasp leaving his mouth. He can feel the weight of the blade sink in, can feel the blood pouring out of his body. J hears Kavi scream, but it feels so far away, like he's underwater, like he's fading out of reality.

Typhon tries to pull the sword back, but J wraps his arms around the taller boy, refusing to let go, using his remaining strength to drag him down with him. J doesn't even register the wetness that soaks his back, too concerned with keeping the other boy from moving.

"Now, Kavi!" J manages to choke out.

A spearhead slices through Typhon's throat, opening up a fountain of blood, spraying onto J's face. Blue eyes bulge in shock and a horrible gurgle rises from Typhon's mouth. His body's weight is crushing. Suffocating. Every breath feels like a struggle, but J has no energy to move out from beneath the boy from One.

But like a sudden shift in gravity, Typhon's heavy body is pulled away. There's a splash to his right, but J can't move his head to look. All he can do is continue to stare up at the sky.

"J!" Kavi's face appears above him, blocking the sun.

She's crying now, holding him, her arms around J, but it's all too much. The world is blurry, the mirror-like flat around them spinning into darkness. The sky, the clouds, the water beneath his body—it's all just fading away.

"Stay with me, please." Kavi positions his head into her lap, shielding him from any more danger. Tears cascade down her cheeks, crystalline and free-flowing. "You have so much more to do. We have some much more to do."

J tries to speak, but the effort to form words feels monumental.

"I–I already got it," he breathes. "Everything I wanted."

"No! Don't give in J, stay awake, we won. You won! We're going back home. Just hold on a little longer. I'm sorry for what I said. I take it back, all of it."

"Take care of the others."

"Stop! Don't say that!"

"Tell Paz, tell him, tell—"

"You'll him yourself, Morrissey."

J reaches up, wiping away her tears, moving a curl of hair behind her ear. He smiles, the light overtaking his vision. "Don't miss me too much, Cevallos."

Kavi sobs. "I love you, J. Don't close your eyes."

The last thing he feels before everything goes black is Kavi's arms, trembling as she holds him, whispering J's name. But he can't respond. Not anymore.

He's done his job.

And for the first time, he can finally let go.

Boom.

x

J's head throbs as he slowly opens his eyes, the bright light above him almost blinding. His eyelids feel heavy, glued shut, as if they haven't been opened in years.

His mind is fuzzy, scattered, like pieces of a broken puzzle trying to fit together. Not that he's ever successfully completed a puzzle. There is a dull beeping and murmuring all around him—a symphony of machines and quiet voices, making his head spin. The steady rhythm of a heart monitor, the faint shuffle of footsteps, and the low murmur of doctors and nurses moving in and out the door—it all feels distant, surreal, like he's trapped inside a fog.

A soft groan escapes him, and that's when it hits him: he's alive.

J moves his hand, wincing at the pain that shoots through his body. He's in bed. A damn hospital bed. And he's still here. Still fucking here.

His body aches, raw, like he'd been put through hell and back. His chest feels like it's on fire, but he can't quite remember why. It's like someone's been kicking it for hours. His body feels like it's been through a war, which, now that he thinks about it, isn't that far from the truth.

Memories rush back in drips—the arena, Typhon, the sword, the blood pooling around him, the cold creeping in. He should be dead. But somehow, here he is, tangled in hospital sheets, his pulse a weak but steady beat beneath his skin.

He glances around, the room spinning for a moment before it finally settles. His breath hitches. The door creaks open, and in steps a familiar face. Haliburn. His fuckass mentor, leaning against the doorframe with a grin that tells him everything—this isn't some afterlife. He's safe.

"Well, well, you're finally awake, huh?" Haliburn's voice is rough, but calm, like the world hadn't just turned upside down. He looks like he doesn't have a care in the world. But there's something in his eyes that tells J that he's been here a while.

J stares at him for a long moment, disoriented, still processing. Then the words slip out before he can stop them

"You didn't send me shoes," J rasps, his voice rough from disuse. "Fuckin' weathered asshole."

Haliburn chuckles, a sound that rumbles in his chest. "Yeah, yeah, always with the damn shoes." He smirks, arms crossed over his chest. "You've been out for three weeks, kid. I thought you were never gonna wake up."

Three weeks? J blinks at him, trying to make sense of the time that's gone by. Three weeks? It feels like a lifetime, like the world has been moving without him.

"I—three weeks?" J repeats, his mind a blur. "You just let me...you just let me—"

"Yeah," Haliburn interrupts with a shrug. "You were pretty damn close to not making it. But I'm not the one who kept you alive, kid." His gaze softens just slightly, and J can see the slightest bit of worry behind his usual tough guy demeanor.

J doesn't know what to say. The emotions—relief, anger, gratitude, fear—all crash into him at once. The lump in his throat is growing, tight and painful, and he fights against it. He doesn't want to cry. Not here. Not like this.

His father's voice distantly echoes in his mind. "Boys don't cry, you little shit! Be a man!"

But he can't stop it. The tears start to spill, and before he can even blink them away, a sob catches in his throat. It's pathetic. It's raw. He should be tough. But all he can think of is the fact that he's still here—he shouldn't be. He shouldn't have made it out of that mess.

Haliburn steps forward, pats him once on the shoulder—rough, like he always does—but there's an unspoken understanding there. The older man doesn't say anything, doesn't need to. J knows he's been watching over him, making sure no one let him slip through the cracks.

"Yeah, you're alive," Haliburn mutters, almost like it's an afterthought. "And I didn't give you shoes. Get over it."

The two of them laugh—quiet, bittersweet. And J can't help it. He tries to hide it, but the tears keep coming, and this time, he doesn't fight them. Not anymore.

He never thought he'd make it out of that desert alive, never thought he deserved to. He thought he was done for. But here he is, with Haliburn, breathing, still in the fight. And for the first time in a long while, maybe—just maybe—he feels like he might actually have a shot at living.

And that thought, that small spark of hope, is more than he ever thought he'd get.

But that's when it hits him: Kavi.

"Where's Kavi?" the words come out like a punch to the gut.

Haliburn raises an eyebrow, but before he can answer, J is already trying to sit up, the pain in his chest making him wince. "Sit down, for Seas' sake!" Haliburn shouts, but there is amusement on his face that softens the command.

J doesn't care. He pushes himself off the bed, rips out his IV, his legs shaky as he stumbles through the room, ignoring the nurse's warnings and the way his body screams at him to stop. Haliburn blocks the door, keeping the medical personnel at bay.

He has to find her, make sure she is okay, because if he's alive, then so is she. Right?

And then—there she is. A few doors down. The sight of her sends a jolt through him. She's sitting up in her own hospital room, looking perfect, healthy—just as beautiful as always. The tension in his chest eases, the air in his lungs somehow a little easier to breathe.

Kavi looks up from the book in her hands. Her mouth gapes, her brown eyes wide, already welling with tears. "J…"

Without thinking, he goes to her, barely able to stop himself before they collide. They crash together, the force of the hug nearly knocking her back onto the bed. J buries his face in her curly hair, breathing her in as if this moment might slip away if he lets go. "I thought...I thought I'd lost you," J mumbles, his voice shaking as emotion creeps up on him like a wave.

Kavi laughs softly, her arms wrapping around him tightly. "You're an idiot, J," she teases, but her voice trembles, and he knows she's holding back the same sobs.

They stay like that for what feels like forever, both of them so damn grateful to be alive, to be together. J never thought he'd make it out of the arena, never thought he'd have a chance to make it home. But here they are. And at this moment, nothing else matters.

x

The train car is quiet except for the soft hum of the wheels on the tracks. Through the window, flashes of greenery pass by in a blur, the deep, rich greens of the land J hasn't seen in what feels like a lifetime. He lets his gaze wander outside, but it doesn't take long before his eyes are drawn to the reflection of himself in the glass. He barely recognizes the person staring back at him. The clothes, the smooth skin, the trimmed hair—everything feels so foreign.

It still makes him want to puke.

The seat next to him creaks as Kavi shifts. She doesn't say anything, just stares out the window, her face unreadable. They talked a lot since the Games ended. Since they both woke up. There's peace now. Real peace. Something shifted after waking up in the hospital—the bitterness, the anger, the hatred of everything they'd said and done, it all feels so distant now. Like another lifetime.

Kavi apologized, and J had too. They'd forgiven each other. It didn't magically fix everything, but the tension had broken in those sterile hospital rooms, and now they share something—an experience the other Pogies could never understand. Friendship, yes, but something more than he'd ever expected when he mounted the stage, volunteering to protect two people he loved.

They still have work to do—agreed to communicate better, to not take on too much by themselves, to be there for each other as friends. As victors.

He glances at her again, studying her profile as she stares out the window, lost in thought. He spent so much of the Games confused by her, angry and upset by her coldness, but J is just happy he had the chance to clear things up. For a second there, he never thought he would.

In the end, they did what they had to survive, and now they are both forced to carry the weight of what had happened.

On the holoscreen across from them, their victory interview plays again. J winces, but he can't look away. He sees himself and Kavi, sitting there in the Capitol's studio, shining under the lights. They look perfect, almost unreal. He had been so uncomfortable in those clothes, the jewels and scales, his skin prickling under the weight of all the fake smiles and the audience's cheers.

The Capitol editors had decided to frame their win as a story of partnership—an alliance formed under impossible circumstances, two tributes who trusted each other, fought together. A historic win for a historic year. The power of unity. It wasn't true. Kavi barely spoke to him during training. They hadn't trusted each other—not at first. Not until they had no choice but to rely on each other if they were going to make it out of the arena alive. Not until they had to figure out their shit.

The Capitol's version of events had erased all of that. The Capitol always rewrote the story to fit its narrative. They were nothing more than puppets. He can see it now—their staged smiles, the rehearsed lines. They look so different from who they really are, so different from who they had been when they first entered the Games.

They look like inlanders.

Yuck.

J's thoughts drift back to the Bloodbath, when the announcement had come from the sky. The moment the Capitol had decided they could both survive. He had been so confused, so on edge. But he hadn't understood then, hadn't understood why the Games had been delayed at the start. The frantic whispers in the arena, the panic in the air.

Haliburn filled in the blanks when they were released from the hospital and began prepping for the interview in their quarters. He had told them everything—the unease brewing over the past few years, the protests in the streets the morning of the Games, the violence in the Training Center as Peacekeepers fought back angry mobs. The Capitol had been scared. The country had been on the verge of collapse, and they had chosen to throw the tributes a bone, to let two of them win to calm the rising tide.

In J's opinion, the young president only cared about saving her ass. Only a few years into your first term and there's already a threat of a civil war? Not a good look.

J doesn't care about the Capitol's games. He doesn't care about rebellion. All that matters is getting home. Getting back to his brother, Jiles Brooks. To his friends, the Pogies. And maybe, just maybe, the boy he had fallen for at the Center. The boy he thought he'd never see again. The boy he betrayed. The best friend he thought was off limits.

Paz.

But even now, President Eltair's voice echoes in his mind. The words she had spoken when she had crowned him—the promise of peace, of control, of power. "Don't do anything stupid. Be good. The country depends on it. I'll be watching."

The pressure of those words weigh on him. He doesn't want to be good. He wants to run. He wants to escape everything that the Capitol has built. J wants to sail far away with the Pogies, never to be heard of again. Panem doesn't care about him; no more than the rich fuckers in Bluport.

But being a victor means he can't avoid the spotlight. At least, not right away. He signed up for this, but J never thought he'd actually get to this point—where he'd be thrown into politics he couldn't give a shit about.

They won. Isn't that enough?

J deserves to be left alone.

The train jerks as it rounds a bend, and the scenery outside shifts again, more trees, more green. He finds himself wondering what it would be like to just disappear into this land, to walk off into the wilderness beyond District Four and never look back. To be free from everything that has now followed him from the Capitol.

His eyes flicker back to Kavi, her stillness a reminder that she has just as much to lose as he does. Even more, since she actually has parents that care about her despite their fucked up way of showing it. They are bound by this, whether they like it or not. And the Capitol, no matter how much they pretended to be allies now, is watching. Always watching.

He sighs and leans back in his seat, closing his eyes for a moment, trying to quiet the thoughts that swirl in his mind. Jiles Brooks. Their friends. Paz. They are all waiting for him. That's all that matters now.

Only a few more hours until they're home.

The train continues on, its rhythmic motion swaying the car a bit here and there, and for a moment, J allows himself to drift off, imagining sea salt and boyish laughter.

x

J's feet hit the train platform, the familiar scent of the salty breeze filling his lungs. It feels like a lifetime since he and Kavi left—not even six weeks, but damn, it was long enough for things to change. For him to change.

They'd gone down a different path, and J would do it all over again to keep Kavi and Paz safe, but he knew he wasn't supposed to leave. Not like that. Especially not when he'd stolen the volunteer spot Paz spent years working towards.

He's not sure if the Pogies will be happy to see him. He's not sure what to expect. J has been so laser focused on making it home that he never considered what his reception might be considering how he left things.

The noise hits him first—a wave of sound, a chorus of cheers, laughter, voices all blending together. Seagulls squawk above and boat horns blast from the port. J freezes for a second, his heart racing. He hadn't expected this. A crowd. They weren't just here for Kavi; they were here for them. And for a split second, the weight of everything—the Games, the distance, the uncertainty—lifts. But then his eyes land on the crowd. His friends. His family. The ones he's spent years running with.

And then there's Paz. He's standing there, looking...not pissed. Not even angry. But J can see the tightness in his jaw, the way he's standing a little too still. He can already feel that tension. They were supposed to stick together. He knows he messed up, he knows he was selfish, but hell, he couldn't see both of his best friends fighting on screen—especially Paz.

Before he can process anything more, shake any more hands or smile for photos, Kavi pulls him in, her arms around his shoulders, and she's already laughing, the sound light and warm. "I told you there was nothing to worry about."

Jiles Brooks is the first to break away from the crowd, standing right in their path.

"Welcome back, idiot," he says, and J can't help but smile, even as he's still uncertain about the others. Strong arms wrap around his middle and all he can do is remember all the nights Jiles Brooks let him sleep on his floor. All the times they backed each other up when things went south.

"Hey, brother."

"You're lucky I taught you how to throw a mean right hook back when we were kids."

"Dude, you taught me? From how I remember it—"

And then—before J knows it—he's tackled. The ground comes at him fast, and he barely has time to brace himself before Paz is on top of him, arms wrapped tight around his neck shaking him a little as if to make sure he's real. "Dude, you fucker," Paz says, his voice cracking, and J freezes.

The words hit him, but what gets him is the sound of Paz crying. Not angry tears, but something else—something that's been held back for too long. Paz's face is wet, and J can't even get the words out because he's so stunned. "I thought you were dead, man," Paz says through his tears, laughing and crying at the same time. "You idiot."

J doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know how to handle this—Paz, the guy who's always been the calm one, the logical one, is here crying because he's happy to see J alive. Paz, who'd been left behind, who has every right to be pissed, is instead here, pouring out this raw emotion, and it hits J harder than anything else could.

"Paz, I...I didn't know what I was doing," J mutters, trying to steady his breath. He's still on the ground, Paz holding him like he won't let go for years. J doesn't want him to let go ever. "I didn't mean...I didn't think I'd—I'm sorr—"

"Shut up," Paz interrupts, pulling him up enough to punch him lightly in the arm, then he's leaning down and kissing him. The kiss is frantic, urgent, but there's an undeniable tenderness to it, like he's been holding himself back, unsure of what to do with his feelings. The world falls away, and in that moment, J feels it—like air finally filling his lungs after what felt like an eternity of drowning.

He kisses Paz back, no hesitation now, because it's right. For the first time, he's not scared of ruining things between them, not scared of screwing up. There's no need for those worries anymore. Paz's arms hold him close, like he's afraid to let go, and J can't help but hold him just as tight. It's like they both finally exhale, like they're no longer pretending, no longer keeping the space between them for fear of falling into something real.

"Just shut up. I'm glad you're back, alright?"

J exhales a breath he didn't know he was holding, still caught in the weight of the moment—in Paz's lips. For a second, he forgets about the Capitol, forgets about his screw-ups. All that matters is that Paz's here, holding him, kissing him.

Kavi's beside him, and the rest of the crew—Jiles Brooks, Saina, Cyarah, they're all there, crowding around, pulling him into a group hug as onlookers whoop and holler. It's messy, chaotic, but it's perfect.

J realizes something then. This is it. This is where he belongs. He's finally home—not because of the house or the place, but because of these people, these friends, this family. For the first time in what feels like forever, J Morrissey feels like he's exactly where he's supposed to be. And he doesn't need anything else.

All he needs is this forever love.

---

This was supposed to be a Christmas present.

Three months late, but I'd like to think it's the thought that counts. Life happened.

Momo, I didn't think offering to right the wrongs of a certain show's fourth season would lead to me writing this behemoth but here we are. I definitely got carried away, but you're just going to have to deal. Much love or whatever.

Hope everyone enjoys and now I'm hoping to get back to our regularly scheduled programming.