Modern Family: Season 6
Prologue
Five-year-olds Presley Cole, Demetri Alexopoulos, Eli Moskowitz, and Luke Dunphy were running around the playground. They were playing a pretend war of wizards and orcs. Luke grabbed Lee. "I'm kidnapping the princess." He roars, playing his orc part.
"Luke, I'm not a princess in this game. I'm a witch." She laughed.
"You're always a princess." He spins her around. She giggled until he put her down. He got on one knee and pulled a ring pop from his pocket. "Will you be my wife?"
"You'll give me candy if I'm your wife." She gasps.
"For every day for the rest of our lives." He dramatically held out the candy.
"Yes." She opened the package and put it on her finger.
"I hate him," Eli whispers to Demetri.
"It's not legal." He put his hand on his friend's shoulder.
Luke grabs her hand to get a taste of the candy. "Luke, I already licked it." Lee was scandalized.
"So, we're married now. Husband and wife kiss all the time." He shrugs.
"I guess that trust." She kissed his cheek.
The bell rang. "Recess is over!" Eli ran into the classroom.
"What a nerd." Luke jokes.
"Come on." Lee waves for her friends to follow her to class.
"Coming, Wifey." He ran to grab her hand.
"I'm always in the middle of their drama." Demetri sighs.
Eleven Years Later
Lee had repurposed her Female Bakugo costume to wear to Comic-Con. Demetri was reusing his necromancer costume. "I can't believe Eli thinks he's too cool for Comic-Con. This is the coolest place ever." He looked around at everyone in their cosplay costumes.
"He has different interests now." Lee shrugs.
"I'm not sure who you are but you are crazy hot." A voice said from behind her.
Lee turned around to tell the perv to buzz off when her jaw dropped. "Luke Dunphy." She gasps at seeing her childhood friend. They had lost contact after they went to different middle schools.
He squinted at the curvy teen. "Wifey." He recognized that smile anywhere. He picked her up to spin her around like when they were kids.
"What's going on? How do you know a hot girl?" She looks to the side to see a Hispanic Doctor Who.
"Manny, it's Lee." He puts her down.
"Oh, Hi Presley. It's been a while." He hugs her.
"I'm here too." Demetri reminds them.
"Hi, Demetri." They greet him.
"So, you came as Luffy." She took a moment to look at Luke. He had an open red button-up with the sleeves ripped off, jean shorts, and a straw hat.
"A beautiful girl introduced me to him." He winks.
"Please, you forgot to get a costume even though you had two months to do it. You saw a kid at school with a One Piece shirt and you went home to ruin a good dress shirt and bought a hat." Manny scoffs.
"Manny." Luke hissed.
"That was very resourceful." She smiled.
"Why don't you guys catch up?" Luke pushed Demetri and Manny ahead of them.
"So, how have you been?" He walks alongside her.
"Pretty good. You?" She nods.
"Amazing now that you're here." He threw an arm around her shoulders.
"You're as bold as ever." She blushes.
"You are still cute when you blush." He smiled. "How about I get you some candy?"
"Well, I was promised that wasn't I?" She walked to a stall that was selling candy that was themed from anime. He bought her Dragonballz gummies.
They went to different booths, and she bought some anime items. "How come you came if you're not interested in this?" She asked Luke when he said he didn't have a booth he wanted to go to.
"Manny, didn't want to come alone? I was going to get my dad a gift. He loves Clash of Swords." He told her.
"Oh, let's get him something." She grabbed his hand. Luke took the opportunity to lace his fingers with her and happily let her pull him.
Luke and Lee were in the photo booth making out. "Put another dollar in," Luke ordered when the machine ding to say their time was up.
"No, you got ten photo strips. There is a line out here." Demetri pulled the curtain back.
"We have to get going if you're going to make it to Dad's birthday dinner," Manny told Luke.
"Text me." She gave him a peck.
"Definitely, I can't afford a divorce." He kissed her.
Manny grabs him by the collar to pull him out. "See ya, Lee." He waved.
"Have you no shame." Demetri held up a strip that showed Luke's face buried in her cleavage.
"You're just mad you didn't find any girl to go in the photo booth with." She spilled on the arm grenades. She took them off because they were getting in the way.
"This is the park we used to go to." Lee looks out the window at the place Luke gave her directions to go to.
"Yeah, romantic right?" He reached into the backseat to pull out a picnic basket.
"Yes, it is." She got out of the car.
Luke lays the blanket out when they find a spot underneath a tree. He pulled out two hoagies and a big bag of sun chips. They were eating, talking about the old times, updating each other on their lives when a squirrel ran by them. "Don't think about it." Lee grabs his hand.
"It's fine." He threw a chip at it. The animal ate it, greedily.
"You're going to end up needing a rabies shot." She watches as he slowly throws the chips closer and closer to him.
"Won't be the first time." He was wiggling in glee at it getting closer.
She blinks in alarm at that statement. "Luke, they're coming." She pointed at the furry animals climbing down the tree.
"Shit, let's go." He threw the bag of chips, making the squirrels run in the opposite direction. They grab the blanket and basket before running to the car.
They pant as they lean back in their seats. Lee laughed when she saw a sign in front of the car that said not to feed the squirrels. "What?" He asked. She pointed at the sign. He found himself laughing too. "Sorry, I ruined our date." He apologizes when the laughter dies down.
"It's one I'll never forget. We can turn it around. Let's go get ice cream." She smiled. If there was one thing she could count on Luke for is giving her unforgettable memories.
S6 E10: Haley's 21 Birthday
It was Haley's 21st birthday, so the adults in the family were taking her out for drinks. The teens were staying home to watch Lily. Lee was lying on the couch, watching Luke trying to hit an apple on Manny's head with a Nerf gun. He shot the gun to hit Manny's glasses. "You're 0 for 3. You keep hitting me in the face." Manny grumbles.
"Or…. am I 3 for 3?" Luke smiles with mischief.
"Then what's the point of the apple?" He pointed at the fruit on his head.
"It keeps you from moving." He laughs. Manny took the apple off of his head, glaring at his step-nephew.
Luke eyes Lee's chest. "Lee, let me borrow your pillows." Luke cuddles with his girlfriend.
Lily came into the living room. "Hey guys, do you know where babies come from?"
"Lily, that's not an appropriate question," Manny told her.
"That's something you should talk about with your daddies." Lee didn't know how they would feel about her getting information from a bad source, like her boyfriend, whose eyes were beaming with excitement about corrupting someone.
"Do you know or not?" She sat down on the armchair, crossing her legs.
"Yes, the stork brings them." Manny smiled, hoping this would satisfy her curiosity.
"This dork?" She points at Luke. He was offended while Lee was giggling.
"Good stuff." Manny laughed. "Hey, Lily, how about something to eat? Do you want some chicken nuggets?" He walks to the kitchen after getting an okay from her.
"So, do you know how babies are made?" She looks at Luke.
He sat up excited to have this opportunity. "Yep, and I'll tell you. But, first, we're gonna need a pen and a bagel." He kneels to be on her level.
"Luke." Lee scolds.
"What?" He looked back at her confused.
"Why do you need that?" Lily asked.
"Because you're going to need to take notes and I'm hungry." He told her. Lee sighs in relief that it wasn't what she thought.
After Lily got him those things, Luke grabbed two solo cups, a plushie of a kitty and a monkey. "Okay, so a boy and a girl meet at a frat party and they think each other is hot so they pound their beers and head upstairs." He plays pretend with the dolls.
"Luke, stop. Lee, you know better than this." Manny came back with a plate.
"I want to see how he would do it." Lee was horrified. She was about to stop it before he came in.
"She's not hearing this from you." Manny put the plate down.
"Why not?" He asks. "I'm closer to doing it than you are."
"Because you're immature." Manny reasoned.
"I'm not immature, buttface." He stood up with the dolls in his hands to challenge him. "How would you say it then?"
He grabbed the pink cat plush from him. "Well, I would say they meet through friends and after dating for an appropriate amount of time. He takes her to a romantic French bistro. Then maybe if the mood is right."
"Maybe? I just bought you a big French dinner." Luke stood up to make the monkey plush talk.
"That was your choice. I owe you nothing." Manny spoke up for his character and as a lesson for Lily.
"Your hand was on my knee the whole time. What was I supposed to think?" The monkey argued.
"I was expressing affection, not signing a contract. This date is over." The cat ended it.
"Come on sexy, don't be like that. Make a baby with me." He leaned in to try and make the dolls kiss.
"Luke, I'm uncomfortable." Lee got up to take the cat from Manny to keep her away from the monkey.
"Lily, you will be like the kitty if you ever run into a monkey." She slapped the monkey out of Luke's hands.
"What is going on here?" Alex yelled. "You, you, and you in the other room now." She orders the younger teens. They walk into Phil's home office. "I'm technically in charge tonight, so no one tells Lily where babies come from."
Manny looks out to see her watching a cartoon. "I could not agree more." He closed the door.
"I don't know why you Americans are so uptight about sex." Luke laughed.
"Luke, sex is complicated, especially for young girls in this society." Lee rolled her eyes. She was getting annoyed with him pretending to be an expert when the one time they tried he ejected when she touched him. She didn't even jerk him, he just cum right there. There wasn't anything wrong with it, he got excited and anxious and it happened. But, acting superior about the topic was ridiculous.
"I agree, she doesn't need to learn from two fuzz-staches who barely know anything themselves." Alex nods.
"Excuse me, you might want to check my browser history. I've done some research." He winks at Lee. Manny rolled his eyes.
"OH, well great. I'm just gonna go vomit forever now." Alex scoffs.
"What are you guys doing?" Lily opens the door. They replied in different forms that they weren't doing anything. "Can we finish our conversation?"
"No, Lily. I'm sorry but if you have questions you're going to have to ask your dads." Alex crosses her arms.
"You don't know, do you?" She asked.
"I do." He put his arms around Lee.
"I do too." Manny nods.
"No, we don't, right guys?" Alex looks at them sternly.
"No." The guys put their heads down.
Lily looked at Lee. "I know nothing." She said quickly not wanting to have an awkward conversation.
"That's embarrassing, want me to tell you?" Lily smiled.
"What?" Lee leaned back in shock.
"You asked if we knew where babies came from because you wanted to tell us." Manny realized why she was so stubborn about staying on that topic.
"Yeah, you're old you should know." She nods. "But, you might want to sit down for this."
"I think that's a good idea." Lee was feeling light-headed. Luke sat down in the office chair with the plushies under his arms.
Lily made them go into the living room, so they could all have a seat. She stood in front of the coffee table to give her speech. "When I grow up I want to have kids. Well, first I want a perfect husband. Someone who takes care of me and then we're gonna make a baby which is easy. You just put eggs and tadpoles in a glass and the woman has to drink it. Then, the woman and the man kiss and jump on their bed. After a year she pees and a baby comes out."
"Oh my god." Alex and Lee gasp at the wrong information.
"Wow." Luke was amazed by that theory.
"We need to tell Cam and Mitchel," Manny whispers.
"Yeah." They nod in agreement.
S6 E12: The Big Guns
Lee was walking up her boyfriend's driveway. "Hey!" She turns to see Tammy LaFontaine lying out on her family's boat in a bikini.
"Yes," She stops to talk to her.
"I wasn't going to say anything because I don't want to start drama but your boyfriend is a pervert and he is starting to freak me out." She put her sunglasses on the top of her head.
"Excuse me." Lee glares. Tammy pointed at her neighbor's window. She looks up to see her boyfriend drooling at the half-naked girl. "LUKE!" She screamed. His eyes got big when he saw his angry girlfriend. He dropped to the ground in a panic. She bursts into the house and marches up the stairs. She cursed her boyfriend's name when she nearly tripped on the broken step. She normally skipped that step but in her anger, she forgot to.
She slammed her fist against the door, calling his name. "Luke isn't here. This is Claire, Luke's mom. I'm putting his laundry away." He put on a girly voice.
"Luke, I saw you in the window being a total perv." She screams.
"I was looking at the boat." He crawled to the door.
"Oh really?" She laughed.
"Yes, I was thinking of becoming a pirate." He opens the door while sitting on the ground. He threw himself to lay down.
"What are you doing?" She stared at him.
"You wouldn't hit a guy on the ground, would you?" He put his hands over his junk.
Lee sighs. She hated how unintentionally funny Luke could be. Seeing him on the ground covering his privates, he looked so pathetic. It seemed like every time she got mad at him he was able to make her laugh. "Luke, get off the floor."
He got up slowly. "So, how mad are you?"
"Luke, I'm not mad. I feel humiliated and embarrassed. My boyfriend is a peeping tom to a hot model-thin blonde. It is a little ego-crushing to my plus-size frame." She tried to make it short and simple so he would understand.
"Just because I'm checking her out doesn't mean I don't think you're hot too." He didn't want her to feel insecure. He saw what Haley's beauty did to Alex's confidence.
She squinted at him. He was trying to make her feel better and he was right he could find more than one body type attractive but she couldn't help the ugly feeling that was filling her up. "You don't have to be a disgusting pig about it. She knows you're staring. You're making her and me feel very grossed out."
"She is pretending to be grossed out. She lays out in the same spot." Luke defends himself.
"What?" She gasped.
"If she was bothered, she could lay in the backyard or the other side of the boat where I can't see her. But, she chose to lay out where I could see everything. She likes the attention." He, like his dad, spoke honestly without thinking.
Lee's jaw dropped. "Oh, so this is more than being a pervert. You believe you're engaging in some type of weird courting thing. Yasmine is right." She walks out of the room. She had to get out of there before she started crying.
"What? Right about what?" He grabbed her arm before she could walk down the stairs.
"That you can't date a guy from a different high school because teenage boys can't do any kind of long-distance relationship because they're horny toads." She sniffs.
"Are you breaking up with me because I looked at another girl?" Luke's voice cracked.
"No, I'm breaking up with you because you're having some type of menstrual voyeur kink act going on with some other girl. You don't think there's anything wrong with that." She screams.
"You have a what, going on?" Alex pokes her head out of her door.
"Go back to your room!" Luke yelled. She went back in but didn't close her door so she could hear everything. "I'm sorry. I was being a horny toad. Just because it never got physical doesn't mean it wasn't wrong. I promise I won't even look at her again. I'll pretend like she doesn't exist."
"That would make her want you." She knew how girls worked.
"It would." Alex gave her input.
"Alex!" Luke slammed her door shut. "What do I do then?"
"Don't stare at her but glance at her if you have to walk past her. But, do not speak to her." She crosses her arms.
"I can do that." He nods eagerly. "So… we are still boyfriend and girlfriend?"
"Yes." She grabbed his face before he could cheer. "But, if you entertain another girl again I will break up with you to date Manny. Do you hear me?"
"Loud and clear." He nodded as much as he could with her grip on his face.
S6 E16: Connection Lost
The teens were hanging out at the dojo after practice. Hawk scrolled his phone to find out he made a mistake. "Crap, I double booked myself tonight. Who should I dump? Angela wants to piss off her dad badly, but Moon is a hippie who believes that sexuality is something that should be explored."
"Oh, I have two hot girls that want to date me. Poor me." Bert mocked. Hawk shoved the smaller male to the ground.
Miguel let out a laugh. "Why do you have to dump one? Just reschedule and make sure the other girl doesn't put you on Instagram."
"Man, you're a genius." He texted Angela that he had to reschedule because a group project came up.
They froze when the office door slammed open and shut. The last time that happened, Johnny made them do another practice because something pissed him off. "Who is Luke Dunphy?" He shouted.
"Oh, you found out Lee had a boyfriend." Miguel nods when he realizes why he's freaking out.
"Don't worry he's a great guy." Aisha tried to calm down her Sensei.
"He's hilarious." Mitch laughs as he thinks about the goofy guy.
Hawk went to walk to the office. "Lee has a boyfriend! Luke Dunphy is her boyfriend! I thought we lost that guy in middle school." It annoyed Hawk to no end the way Luke would bring candy to school to trade for pecks on the cheek.
Johnny pulled him back. "She is changing in there for their date."
"Why have you guys been hiding this from me?" Hawk glares at his friends.
"We haven't been hiding anything from you. You're the one that's been ditching all the group outings to go on dates." Miguel rolled his eyes at him having a jealous fit.
"Luke has been to all of them." Hawk couldn't believe this.
"Yeah, he's a badass on the trampoline. Some many flips and twists." Nathaniel was amazed.
"That flexibility has got to be great for Lee." Aisha wiggles her eyebrows.
"Oh god," Johnny and Hawk screamed.
"Grow up, Sensei. She is a teenage girl. She can have a boyfriend. Hawk, did you seriously think she was going to wait for you while you whore around?" She scolds them.
"She waited for me this long." Hawk was offended that she was moving on. "She's my end game. She knows that. How could she be going out with some other guy?"
"How would she know that?" Miguel squints at him.
"Hey, idiot. You want a girl, you have to lock her down or be able to beat up the guy." Johnny scoffed at today's youth.
"I can beat up Luke. He got his head stuck in the banister multiple times." He let out an evil chuckle.
Lee stepped out wearing a pair of high-waisted skinny jeans and a red bralet. "Woah, you look beautiful." Bert sighs out dreamily.
"That is a bra, where is your shirt?" Johnny yelled.
She rolled her eyes at her sensei before turning to Bert. "Thanks, Bert. I'm going to a family dinner at Luke's grandpa's house. Oh, he's here." She ran out the door. She wrapped her arms around him and pushed her lips against his.
"That never gets easier to see. You get me." Bert pats Hawk's arm.
Hawk let out a loud laugh when he saw Luke's hair. "Looks like I have nothing to worry about. She is dating a cheap version of me until she can get the real thing."
"He must have just got that haircut." Aisha looked at the mohawk that Luke was sporting.
"Pathetic, she is trying to change him into me." He continued to chuckle.
"Let's see if you can kick his ass." Johnny went outside. "Hey Luke, I'm Johnny. Why don't you come in?" He didn't wait for an answer and dragged him inside.
"I guess." Luke was surprised by the older man's strength.
"Sensei." Lee ran in after them.
Johnny gave him a tour of the dojo. "Oh, are these boards to break? I always wanted to do that." Luke looked at the board that was set up for the students.
"Oh, why don't you give it a try?" Hawk wanted to see him hurt his hand.
Luke raised his fist, the way he positioned himself Lee knew it would be bad. "Kick it." She suggests. He knew how to control the strength and ability of his legs.
"Kick?" He had only seen people punch through it.
"It'll be hot." She nods.
A large dopey smile spread across his face. "Ready to get excited." He took a step back, ready himself before launching in the air to kick the highest board, breaking it in two.
Everyone's jaws dropped. "That was amazing, babe." She peppers his face with kisses while the crowd cheers for him.
"It was beginner's luck." Hawk sneers.
"Hey, do I know you?" Luke took a second to look at the other mohawk in the room.
"It's Eli." She told him.
"No way." He pulled Hawk into a bro hug. "How has it been?"
"Good, been dating around. You?" He asks.
"I thought it was great dating around too. But, I got to see being in a relationship is so much better. You don't have to try to figure out a new girl every night. Trust me, when you know a girl everything is better." He winks at Hawk.
"Alright, he gets it." Lee grabs Luke's arm. After losing their virginity to each other, Luke likes to experiment a lot. He was glad to tell anyone who would listen.
"You're a natural kid, how would you like to learn karate?" Sensei Lawernce slapped his shoulder. He thought the kid would be a good addition and he needed him to shut up before he had to punch him in the face.
Luke was going to say sure, when Lee grabbed his arm. "We got to go." She pulled him out the door. "What was that?" He asked when they got in her car.
"Nothing, I just didn't want you to feel pressured." She reversed out of the parking spot and drove to his grandpa's house.
"I wouldn't mind trying it out and that way we can have more time together." He rested his hand on her thigh. Lee didn't feel good about him hanging around the dojo. She didn't want her pure-hearted Luke to turn into a Cobra Kai.
Lee and Luke walk into Jay and Gloria's house. "I broke a board with my foot." He did a kick, nearly knocking over a vase. Lee was able to catch it.
"Thank you, Lee. I got that vase from my mother." Gloria took it from the teen to put it back in its place.
"What board? Did you destroy someone's property?" Claire worried. "Lee, what happened?"
"He met me at the dojo. A Lot of my friends go there and I help with the website." She was over-explaining.
"There were boards set up to break and I did it on the first try, no training. The teacher said I'm a natural and I should learn karate." He told his family.
"You could have a sensei." Phil was ready to live vicariously through his son.
"You could be the next Chuck Norris," Cam screamed while fanning himself.
"Well, your talents aren't in academics so why not try?" Alex shrugs.
"You should." Lee encouraged him seeing how much he wanted it.
"Really?" Luke knew it was more than what she was letting on.
"Yeah," She nods.
"It's gonna be great." He hugs her tightly.
Hawk leaned against the locker by Lee's. "You know what you're doing with Luke is cruel."
"What?" She shut her locker to shoot him a confused look.
"Turning the guy into me because you can't have me." He laughed every time he thought about it.
"I'm not turning him into you." She narrowed her eyes at him. She would never change Luke in any way.
"The haircut, bring him around Cobra Kai, getting him to kick." He listed.
"First of all, the only reason he has that stupid haircut is because he lost a bet." Hawk silently mouthed, stupid. He couldn't believe it. He was at his most badass and she thought he looked dumb. "We can't wait for his curls to grow back. Second, I bring him around Cobra Kai because they're my friends too. Third, I had him kick because I knew he could do it. You don't think I knew what you were trying to do yesterday when you told him to hit it."
"I don't know what you're talking about." He shrugs.
"You're so egotistical, to think that I'm trying to change Luke into you. Luke is twice the man you'll ever be Hawk. He is truly comfortable in his skin, unlike you. He likes trampolining. His favorite movie is Toy Story. But, he also likes paintballing and pranks. He's a layered individual. He doesn't pretend to be a stereotypical bully from an 80s movie." She was mad that he thought she was hung up on him.
"I'm not pretending to be anything." He scoffs.
"Tell that to someone who doesn't know the real you." She walks away.
S6 E18: Spring Break
"Hey Mr. Dunphy." Lee got to his house the same time he did.
"Hey, Lee. Here to see Luke." He opened the door for her.
"Yeah, he wants to play me a song." She told him.
"A song?" He stopped when he heard the banjo.
They went up the stairs to catch the end of Ol' Banjo. Claire and Lee clapped. "That's amazing." Lee sat on the bed next to Luke.
"Honey, were you listening? Isn't he good?" She looked at her husband who was standing in the doorway.
"He is really good…. good. I thought you didn't like the banjo." He was amazed that his wife was gushing about it when she was telling him to get rid of it this morning.
"I didn't. But there's just something about the way he plays. It's so musical." She squeezed his shoulder.
"Can you play it from the top?" Lee wanted to hear it from the beginning.
"Sure." He nods.
"Wait… was this a surprise for your old dad? You've been secretly taking lessons for months, probably longer?" He wondered how he was able to play a whole song flawlessly. He hadn't been able to do that after years of practice.
"Nope, I started messing around with it today." Luke shrugged.
"And you learn a whole song. That is so impressive, Luke." Lee smiled.
"He learned two. Play the other one. It's so cute you'll love it, Lee." She explains.
"I got to do something." Phil was going to leave when he looked down. "Are those my shoes?" "Oh yeah, I found them in the box of donations." Luke nods.
"Oh vintage." Lee looked at the old sneakers.
"They fit him perfectly, if anything they're a little snug." Claire was telling him.
"Well, he can kick him off because we are about to do some trampolining. It's time to learn the Dunphy Tuck." He points his thumb over his shoulder.
"I thought you said he could get hurt doing that." Claire narrows her eyes. This morning he told Luke he wasn't ready.
"It's impossible to be safe all the time. You can get hurt just walking into your own house." He walks away while his voice breaks towards the end.
"Play me the other song first." Lee grabbed his arm.
"I'm going to talk to your dad." Claire got up to check on him.
Luke played You Are My Sunshine. "It was dedicated to you." He put the banjo on the side.
"Oh Luke, you're so cute." She kissed him.
"It's thanks to you that I learned so fast. You helped my finger strength." He made a motion of the way she liked to be fingered.
"Luke." She smacked his hand down. "Your door is open."
He laughed before taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry you drove out here and my dad wants me to learn the Dunphy Tuck."
"It's fine. I know you've been waiting to learn it." She put a hand on his thigh.
"You should stay. I will try to get it as soon as possible." He wanted to get her hand back there as fast as possible. "Come on, Dad." He ran outside.
Lee lay down on his bed and looked through Tumblr. She was surprised when Luke texted her five minutes later to come down. She watches him do a flip and a few twists. "Woah, that looks so complicated." Her jaw dropped.
"It is about core muscles and getting enough air. Come up." He bounced over to her.
"I'm not going to be able to do that." She shook her head.
"Not without years of experience. We can just have fun." He helped her up.
She jumped around with him while holding hands. "This is fun." She giggled.
"Yeah, really fun." He watched her chest.
"Luke." She screamed when he let go of her hands.
"Come on, babe, you got this." He jumped around her to get the back view.
"But, there is no soft place to land." She looks at the hard ground.
"Come on, I won't let you get hurt." He promised. "I would hate to see that."
"Then why do you keep snapping my bra?" She pouts.
He let out a nervous laugh. "I can't help it, it's funny."
"Well, it's a mood killer." She didn't give him the opportunity anymore.
Phil and Luke were sitting in the playhouse in the doctor's office after Phil accidentally snapped the sting on the banjo hitting his son's eye."We need to talk about Lee's bra being in your room."
"I'm not going to lie, we are sexually active but we were safe. She is on birth control and we use condoms. But, I haven't been able to take off her bra. Fortunately, she thinks that I'm trying to be funny." Luke confesses.
"I'm happy that you guys are safe. I can help you with the bra problem." He was happy that his son still needed him.
"Thanks. I tried to convince her not to wear them but she said her boobs were too big for that." He wouldn't mind them bouncing all the time unrestricted.
"Let's not describe the underage girl so much." He didn't want any mental image.
"I'm worried she's going to realize that she can do better." He looks at his feet.
"Luke?" Now he is worried. Luke never shows insecurity before.
"She likes Alex smart and I'm not. That's why I've been trying out different things. I want her to know that even though I can't match wits with her, I have other talents like music and athletics." He hated when Alex and her would get to talking. He could hear the excitement in her voice. It hurt to know that he could never engage with her on that level.
"Luke, she has all AP Classes. If she wants a smart guy then she would get one." Phil told him.
"Dad, I know that. Why do you think I'm freaking out?" He put his head in his hands.
"She chose you. She drives 45 minutes more if there is traffic all the time to see you. She is crazy about you." He knew the signs of love. "I get it. I felt the same way when I started going out with your mom. She was a popular girl and I was my dorky self. And look how that worked out."
"Luke Dunphy." A voice called.
"I'm gonna miss this place when I have to get an adult doctor." He got out to hug the busty doctor.
Hawk could feel the rage building inside him at Luke taking to karate like a fish to water. "Miguel, you have real competition for the All Valley right here." Johnny was amazed that Luke was able to dominate his spar with Red and Aisha when he had an eye patch on.
"It's just Red and Aisha," Hawk mutters. He beat both of them multiple times.
"It'll be a great match." Miguel fist-bumped Luke.
It was eating away at him how he fit in so easily. He didn't have to change himself. He was still goofy Luke who liked doing magic. "You know if you jump that high because you do trampoline. We need to get one in here." Johnny watched him kick the highest he could.
Hawk walks into the office and closes the door. "What is so great about him?" He pointed to the door.
Lee was sitting behind the desk. She sighed knowing who he was talking about. "You're the only one who doesn't enjoy his company, so you tell me why you don't."
"He's an idiot. Squirrels have higher IQs than him. He pretends to be a sweet guy when the prank he pulls is brutal. He blew up someone's gnomes. The guy is a sex addict. He's all over you all the time. I know you guys had sex on this desk after practice yesterday." He taps the desk.
"Shut up. Sensei doesn't know that." She got up to go around the desk to whisper yelled at him. "I was happy you found Moon. I've made friends with her. So, if you can't be civil with him for me then maybe you're not my friend."
"That's the problem, I don't want to be your friend." Hawk let out a bitter laugh.
"It's too late for all that, Eli. You choose ten girls over me. You can't be butt hurt about me choosing Luke." She walks out to be scooped up by her boyfriend.
"I tied with Miguel." He spins her around.
"It's not a tie, I needed a water break," Miguel argues.
"You're right, it's not a tie. You gave up so I beat you." Luke teased.
"Okay, get on the mat I'm going to kick the crap out of you." Miguel playful threw his water bottle to the ground to jump on the mat. Hawk watches from the office. It felt like Luke was taking his place with his friends and girl.
S6 E19: Grill, Interrupted
Luke, Lee, and Manny had sneaked a bottle of tequila up to Manny's room. "If I'm reading this properly. I'm supposed to put a lime in a girl's mouth, salt on her stomach, and drink it out of her belly button." Manny looked up from his phone at the only female in the room.
"You wish." Luke pops the cork off to take a gulp. Lee tilts her head at how fast he drank it. She has been to many of her dad's business parties. Grown men who drank all the time didn't drink that much hard liquid that quickly. "That'll get you there." He exhales sharply.
Manny took a sip before coughing. "Oh, Woah Nelly." Luke grabs the bottle to gulp some more down. "Pace yourself, that stuff is strong." He warns.
"I'll know when I've had enough." He glares.
"Let me see." Lee grabs it from him. She took a sip and knew instantly it was water. She decided not to give it away and watch this play out. After a few minutes, they were giggling slurring messes from drinking water. "There's no way we're not going to get caught with how wasted we are. We have to do something." She wanted to watch them freak out.
"She's right, my mom's going to kill me." Luke panics.
"We should drink coffee. Jay always does that after a night of drinking." Manny stood up to stumble a bit.
"I got it." She went downstairs to put the tequila bottle filled with water back. She got the coffee pot and mugs and brought it to them.
"I love you, Lisa. You are the light of my life." Manny sobs on the phone to his ex.
"Give me the phone." She took the phone from him to hang up. She gave him a mug of coffee. With her back turned Luke drinks the rest of the pot. Now, instead of a fake drunk Luke, she had a hyperactive Luke. Hyperactive Luke had less of a filter than normal Luke. "Babe, you are so pretty. The best thing ever. I bet all the guys at the dojo jerk off to you but you're mine. Hey, want to know what I picture doing to you while I jerk myself off. " He made the motion of masturbating.
"No," Manny screamed, having sobered up after the coffee.
"Okay, Luke." She cups his face. "Dinner will be soon. We'll be going downstairs, you need to not talk like that."
"I can't help it, my heart is pounding. I see you, I get thoughts and want to shout them." He stares at her lips.
"Okay, caffeine is worse than alcohol." She sighs.
They walk out to join everyone downstairs. "Maybe we should have another pot of coffee. That's a weird word, huh? Coffee, Coffee, Coffee." He giggles.
"Amateur." Manny scoffed. He had been having coffee every morning for years.
"Doctor, I need your help." Gloria was talking to Haley's date. "I've been drinking this tequila and cannot find the worm. I think I swallowed it." She held the bottle up in the air.
"That's very serious. That worm could eat your insides in a matter of hours." He informed the room. The guys grab their stomachs in worry.
"Well, there must be something she can do." Haley grabbed his arm.
"Pickle juice, the worms cannot survive pickle juice." He passed her the jar.
"Is this enough?" She asks.
"Just." He nods.
She drinks it, "Thank you, doctor, I'm feeling better already."
"You got lucky. The only other treatment is to freeze the worm to death by lowering the body temperature with an ice bath." He told them.
"I feel it inside me." Lee shook her head, knowing that Luke would believe it.
"No, I think it's inside of me." Manny grabbed his stomach. "I knew we should've poured the tequila in Lee's belly button. That's why they have these systems in place."
"Lee, I don't want to die." He hugs her tightly.
"You'll be fine." She rubs his back.
"Who are we kidding? It's inside me, I drank way more than Manny." He whimpers into her shoulder.
"Come on, help me get the cooler." Manny pulled him away from her. They carried the cooler into the bathroom. They took out the drinks before pouring the ice into the tub and then filling it with water.
"I can't. It's too cold." Luke dips his feet into it.
"It's either cold for five minutes or cold forever." Manny sat down in the tub.
"Funny, I always thought I'd be found dead in a bird suit at the bottom of the Grand Canyon." He sat down.
"You still will, buddy. You still will." They hug each other tightly.
A loud camera click made them look to the door to see Gloria. "If I ever caught you drinking again your whole school is going to see this picture." She walks away.
"She tricked us." Manny stares at the door in disbelief.
"I know, as soon as we kill this worm we're gonna get her back." He shivers.
"Oh Luke, thank god you're cute." She pats his head.
"Thank you for not letting me die a virgin." He grabbed her hand to lay kissing all over it.
"There's… no …worm." Manny got out of the tub.
"What?" Luke jumped out and slipped on the tile making him fall face first.