Hey there!

Spoilery warnings for this fic in general just to be sure you know what to expect venturing here: this story will involve male pregnancy (eggnancy to be more precise) in the future, along with SA and lots of transphobia, incluing internalized transphobia.

It starts with Stolas' childhood and will progress a bit slowly at first.

Enjoy!

Chapter 1 - First years

As soon as Stolas was able to talk, he tried to explain to the people around him that something was wrong with the way they perceived him. But he couldn't really pinpoint what it was, so no one listened. Instead, they kept trying to make him fit in that mold that wasn't him.

Then he met his father for the first time. He was in awe to finally meet him, never mind that the imps raising him were trying to remind him of his etiquette lessons. After all, who best than his father to understand what he was desperately trying to explain to everyone else? So he tried to explain to him, and this time it worked. Or it was just because he could word his ideas a bit better, since he knew more words now, and had all the time in the world to self-reflect, and realize he really didn't like it when everyone was referring to him as a girl.

He was excited to see this father changing shape, and managed to explain what he felt using comparisons of this ability. It took some time, and Paimon still didn't seem to fully understand, but he had waved at his butler to agree to the changes he wanted.

"Alright, so… Is the name Stolas alright then?" He asked, perplexed.

"Yes father!"

It was good that it was very close to the name he was initially given, that his father didn't remember anyway when he showed up, surely it was a sign it was never meant to be his name, right?

"Very well, your name will be changed and I will take the necessary dispositions. Everyone will call you by that new name, and… You want to be a boy or a girl again?"

"A boy, I'm a boy!" Stolas explained, both annoyed at having to explain again, but also excited and overjoyed to finally have someone hearing him out and listening to him.

"Alright boy, they will", the King shrugged with a look at his butler who bowed. "I will come back to see you on your tenth birthday to reveal the duties that will be trusted upon you. Be a good girl, I mean, boy until then!"

Just like that, after less than an hour, he left. It was a ridiculously short amount of time to spend with one's father in ten years, yet it was all Stolas had until the promised birthday where Paimon said he would return. Until then, everyone did call him by his new name, that he really liked better by the way, and finally addressed him as a boy, with the proper pronouns. They also changed the colors he was wearing, little by little, but Stolas didn't mind that, as long as they spoke to him right.

Still, he wished he could go out to play and have friends, rather than only talking to his staff, who always acted like if he annoyed them, or were reminding him about how he should behave. But at least they weren't calling him by the wrong name anymore and using the right pronouns, it was great, wasn't it?

His father had apparently insisted for a doctor to come see him a few times, for several medical examinations, with magic glowing, and pills he was asked to take, along with some kind of tests to see how his body would react they said. He wasn't exactly sure what it was about, but they said it was so he could look like a boy too when growing up, so he decided to let them do it, even if he was a bit sad the doctors never took the time to explain what they were doing and how it worked.

They told him so little that he couldn't even find the answers later in his books. He had lots of books, some of them too complicated for him to fully understand, especially the ones that were in the library. It was in one of these books that he found the words they used, talking about hormones, reproductive organs, vestigial organs, and so much more, with complicated words he wasn't able to remember, but he was almost sure some of the words he was reading were the same one they used.

So he tried to learn about that field. The books with these words were titled Goetic anatomy, reproduction, medicine, and similar words, sometimes with very long titles that Stolas found out, after some time, actually meant the same thing. It was fascinating, and he found himself trying to read as much as he could on this.

He often read aloud, too. Not to his staff, it was apparently improper, but he was allowed to have his own plants and cater to them. So he would read aloud, passionately explaining the differences between animal and vegetable anatomy. It was so different and complex, but he loved it! Like the stars and constellations and physics books, that he couldn't fully understand either, but it looked beautiful.

Of course, he had novels of fiction too, and he couldn't wait to tell his father that he was reading above his age! Surely he would be proud, right? It would mean that he was in advance? His butler kept insisting that he had to do well in his studies, and he did admit on a few times that it would make his father proud. Maybe if he did well enough, Paimon would stay longer?

Then, finally, his tenth birthday arrived. Oh, he was so excited! He was bouncing in his bedroom in his haste to get ready to see his father again, his butler unable to temper his enthusiasm, and not overly trying to for once, simply leading him to the throne room where he also met his father the first time.

It started exactly like before, with Paimon shape-shifting until he settled on his owl form, and not remembering his name. But it was probably normal! They haven't seen each other in five years, and he changed last time, so it was bound to happen, right? As long as Stolas showed all the progresses he made, maybe his father would stay a little longer, maybe even visit more often! Oh, how incredible it sounded, just the idea of him visiting every year… But Stolas tried to keep his enthusiasm in check, he knew that was very unlikely. Maybe every two years then? It would still be a great improvement!

"You will be entrusted with the study of the Earth sky, the stars, the prophecies they hold, all that stuff! Isn't it fun?" Paimon was explaining, his magic glowing. Stolas couldn't help bouncing excitedly as his father kept talking, giving him a grimoire. The stars! They looked so faraway and beautiful, and he was going to study them! Oh, he couldn't wait to start, he would make his father proud!

"I will do my best father!" The little owlet assured the tall figure before him, still beaming with joy and excitement. Emotions that were quickly shoved away as his father kept talking, introducing him to another aspect of his duties as a Goetia, one that sounded a lot less exciting.

"You will also need to provide a precautionary heir to the Goetia family. Now, your little… Particularity made it complicated, but I found a match! Look, isn't she charming? She's your future wife, congratulations on your engagement!" He said, shoving a picture of a little girl with white feathers strangling a queef into his face.

A lot of emotions went through the child at this instant, before he quickly settled on crying, not able to process anything with words in front of such an onslaught. Paimon vaguely tried to make him stop, but his word choice only made Stolas' wailing louder.

"Aren't you supposed to be a boy? Come on, you have to be stronger than that if you want everyone else to consider you a boy too! We can't have any of that bitch crying, right?"

To Paimon's surprise, it didn't work. Quite the opposite, the small owlet in front of him seemed to be crying even more loudly now. He straightened up, puzzled.

"Weird, it usually works… Oh, would it help if I took you to the circus? Children love the circus! Would that distract you enough from your non negotiable future marriage? You were already so much trouble with your little caprice, I granted it as a birthday present, surely you can make an effort in return, alright?"

That still wasn't working, only leaving the circus as an option. It started poorly for Stolas, the young prince still feeling down, until he caught glimpse of an imp.

He looked so free and carefree, Stolas couldn't help but be mesmerized. Even as no one laughed to his objectively very funny jokes, the imp didn't let it affect him for long and was returning with a new joke, as if nothing could get in the way of his energy and enthusiasm.

Sadly, he didn't stay on stage for long, but he made a strong impression on the little owlet, so much that he couldn't help share it with his butler and his father, who only came through a mirror. He simply wanted to give justice to the child imp's qualities, since so little people laughed at his legless horse joke, which was a shame! It was really good. Stolas had read all the books he could on biology, not only for Goetias and plants, and he was surprised no one else got it! Did the other people not know about laminitis?

The show managed to cheer him up a bit, but he was quick to return to a more somber expression, thinking back of what awaited him, his father's words circling in his head.

He had wanted to impress him, and instead he had disappointed him. Worse, he didn't act manly enough! Would his father change his mind if he didn't behave well enough? Would everyone return to how they called him before if he couldn't do better? The idea was filling him with a freezing dread, and he berated himself for not paying more attention to Mr Butler's lessons on how a Goetia should behave. He shouldn't have been so excited in the first place, it wasn't right… But he always said it didn't fit a Goetia, not that it didn't fit a boy, so hopefully they wouldn't stop calling him right, right?

He was still stressing over it on the way back home, left alone to play in his room, when his butler returned, saying Paimon had a surprise for him.

Immediately, all of Stolas' worries disappeared. His father didn't go home yet?! He was still here? It had to be a good sign, right? Even if only through a mirror, he never spent so much time with him, he should be grateful! If he made just a little more efforts, then surely everything would be alright! Well, except for the whole marriage thing, Stolas was still feeling a lot of emotions about it, all negative, but now that he was able to calm down a bit, he realized he shouldn't have let it show so much. He had to appear collected like a Goetia should, like a boy should apparently, and he would figure it out later, like always when dealing with negative emotions on his own.

Focusing on the positive, he joined his father outside, trying to tamper his excitement and act more like he was expected to. Paimon was looking toward the front gate, as if waiting for someone, and he turned when he heard his child walk down the steps to join him.

"Ah, hello… Boy. Good thing they're making you wear pants now", he laughed under his breath while Stolas tilted his head, not sure what it meant. Of course he wasn't going to wear dresses, they said it made him look like a girl, and he didn't want people to think that!

"Alright, so! Do you remember what I told you about your little particularity?"

Stolas blinked before he realized what his father was talking about.

"Do you mean everyone thinking I was a girl at first?"

"Yes, that! You remember that you are not supposed to talk about it, right? It's not really proper you see, it doesn't give a good image of the Goetia family…"

"Of course father!" Stolas answered enthusiastically. Why would he tell anyone anyway? Everyone in the palace already knew, and he tried to explain to new staff once about the mistake they made at first, but they didn't laugh, and he was told not to do it because it was weird. One of the staff also started talking to him as if he was a girl, even as he tried to explain that it was the other way around. After this, Stolas quickly understood his lesson. The doctors were not very talkative either, and he never got to talk about it to anyone outside the castle. He was a bit curious to meet other people like him, because he knew there were others, he saw trans imps - because that was the name of what he was, trans, he found out in books, even if neither is father nor the doctors used that word - on TV on occasions, and in books too! He never read anything about trans Goetias tho, and from what the doctors said, he was the only one like this.

"Perfect!" Paimon answered, straightening up and looking ahead as two imps entered the place, an adult and a child. Stolas' focus returned to reality as he looked curiously at the two approaching imps, and his eye widened when he recognized the funny child imp from before.

Trying to make a good impression, he straightened up too, trying to scold his features, failing to hide the blush as the other child looked from the adult accompanying him to the young prince.

"Here's a new friend my son, happy birthday!" Paimon explained, gesturing toward the imp child, distracting Stolas from said child's irked out reaction.

"A friend?!" Stolas exclaimed, trying very hard to tone down the excitement in his posture and voice. He never had a friend before, nor anyone at the palace he could play with, much less of his own age! Maybe his father wasn't too mad at him then?

"I guess", the other kid answered. "Hi! I'm Blitzo."

"I'm Stolas, it's nice to- Ouch!"

The child tried to bow to his new friend, to make a good impression, but he was cut by a hit on his head while Paimon scolded him.

"Don't bow to that one! He bows to us, idiot!"

"Oh, right… Sorry father", Stolas apologized, hoping Paimon wouldn't change his mind because of his mistake. The King simply straightened up, congratulating himself.

"I'm so good at daddying!"

Both kids exchanged a look, unsure how to react. They were quickly ushered inside and brought to Stolas' bedroom, where the butler left them to their own device, and Stolas couldn't contain his excitement anymore, hoping that Blitzo wouldn't mind, since he was a kid like him.

The young owl didn't really think, since his own book selection was on the left just after entering his bedroom, before he started showing it off to his new friend, excitedly gushing about his books on animals, about to grab his books about medicine and biology before he faltered for just a second. Would that count as talking about his secret? Probably not, right? Just in case, he decided to grab the one on plants instead, before getting cut by his new playmate.

Apparently what he was doing was boring. Stolas faltered, worried to see the kid go away so soon after he arrived, and sad at the idea that the only friend he ever got didn't get to stay for very long. So when Blitzo suggested a game, Stolas was delighted! It meant he wasn't leaving yet, they could still do things together! If Stolas' ideas weren't good, then he trusted Blitzo's, surely a clown knew how to have fun, right?

Obviously they did. Stolas didn't remember even laughing as much as he did that day, running around the palace with Blitzo, paying attention to things he long since stopped looking at, and having an actual conversation with someone who was interested, who listened and shared things about then back! It was incredible, it was wonderful, and Stolas couldn't wait for the day when Blitzo would be allowed to come again to play when he went to bed that night, beaming and imagining them both as pirates, living incredible adventures as they explored Hell and beyond, heck, even Earth maybe, thanks to his book! Oh, maybe he would have mastered a few spells he could show Blitzo when he would return!

Stolas giggled, kicking his feet under the cover, impatient to get started on the study of his grimoire to impress his first friend and be able to open even more possibilities to their games, the future suddenly full of colors and freedom, things Stolas could never phantom before, even when reading about it in his books, and now he experienced it. He had to work hard to be able to see him again, he had so many plans, but even his overactive mind couldn't keep him away from sleep for much longer, as exhaustion finally overrode the rest.

21/01/2025

I haven't finished my other main/long fic so updates on this one will probably be scarce and irregular. Please be patient ;) Nice comments motivates me!