"If there's anything we can bring you to-"

"Yes," Technoblade says. "There's something."

Wilbur looks absolutely flabbergasted by the response.

Perhaps rightfully so. Another week has passed since Techno's failed escape attempt. Or, well, the attempt itself was more or less successful, it's just that he got dragged back pretty quickly. And it's been made abundantly clear to him that will happen every single time he sets foot outside or tries to run away. Techno should know. Because the day after he climbed the fence, he decided to catch Phil in his bluff about opening the door for him and letting him leave.

And the sire did exactly as he had promised, unlocking the front door for him without question.

Techno walked - no point in sprinting this time, he expected to be followed - and made it a couple miles in the opposite direction than he went in before. He found a road, kept going until the sun was setting and his legs hurt too bad to stand, then sat down on an overturned log. Phil came to sit next to him after a few minutes.

"Are you ready to come home?" he asked.

"Bold of you to assume I want to go back," Techno said.

Phil smiled patiently. "Our territory ends about a hundred feet that way," he told Techno, pointing down the road, at the horizon Techno had been walking toward for a couple of hours already. "So once you cross the border, I'll have to take you home anyway. Might as well save us both the trouble, mate."

"What happened to not keeping any humans captive against their will?" Techno asked. Though he suspected he knew what the answer would be, since he'd made the same appeal to their hypocrisy the day before.

"It's true," Phil insisted. "But like I said, we can't let one of our feeders trespass on another coven's domain. That's uncouth."

Techno tried not to frown. "You're going to pretend to care about manners now? I've seen how Tommy sits at a dinner table."

With a little laugh, Phil stood up. "I care about manners when minding them keeps us safe. Also, Tommy is a lost cause anyway, I'm not even fucking trying with him anymore."

Techno hasn't asked to leave since. It's futile and a waste of time. He still allows Wilbur and Tommy to take him around the mansion for enrichment, just because he'll die of boredom otherwise. And he might as well make their lives difficult. But he refuses to give them permission to feed. Techno thinks it will last a few more weeks at most. They'll get sick of the play pretend eventually and feed on his blood by force.

At this point, Techno almost wishes it would happen. Then he wouldn't have to put up with all this faux kindness.

Maybe they'll snap and throw him into a smelly little dungeon. He still hasn't seen any other humans or a proper feeder quarter, so he can only assume the Antarctic Coven keeps its feeders in a secret basement or something comically evil like that. Their twisted minds just want 'permission' to do so from the human first. Weirdchamp.

Maybe they'll kill him by accident. Wouldn't that be ironic?

A Blade line human is meant to have some of the most delicious blood in the world. Vampires often lack self-control. Techno wouldn't be the first one drained by an eager fledgling. He wouldn't be the first one whose taste drives those leeches to madness, then it's a matter of them not reeling in their thirst fast enough and… He stops that thought before it can go any further.

Techno doesn't want to die. He wants to stop having the difference between dying and not dying presented to him as if it's his choice.

But if he can't get what he actually wants, he can ask for something else. Might as well.

Wilbur manages to snap out of his surprise after a few seconds, expression comically befuddled. Turning away from him, a small smile curls around Techno's lips. "Yes," Wilbur says. "Yes, of course. Whatever you want."

"There was this book in the previous coven I stayed at. It was called The Princess Bride by William Goldman." Techno makes an effort to still his fingertips where they're drumming on the windowsill. "Can you get it for me? I never got to finish it."

"Sure," Wilbur answers. "It's a classic, right? Phil might even have a copy in his libra-"

"No." Techno turns around and crosses his arms. "I want the one from the coven I stayed with." Wilbur's face falls, and this time, Techno doesn't bother hiding his smirk. "I like to take notes in the margins."

"You're serious?" Wilbur asks.

"Dead serious."

He expects Wilbur to refuse. They've been telling him they will get him whatever he wants to make him happy since the moment he arrived, and Techno never took them up on the offer. If he did, they probably expected him to ask for specific human foods or drinks, maybe an item that could easily be fetched. Not something like this.

But Wilbur nods. "Okay. I'll get you that book. Anything else you left with them I can retrieve while there?"

"Just the book," Techno says slowly. He can't believe Wilbur agreed at all.

The vampire leaves, and Techno spends a few hours rearranging the chessboard in his room. He doesn't play against himself, finding it to be not as satisfying as playing to win. But he enjoys setting the board up in various configurations of a checkmate position. When Wilbur returns, Techno is lying on his bed.

Wilbur knocks. Techno doesn't answer. The door opens ten seconds later, as usual.

"You have very neat handwriting for a human," he says, holding the book out to Techno while standing too far away for him to reach. Not unless he gets up from the bed. Techno waves at the desk instead.

"Thanks," he drawls. "How much did you pay for it?"

He's no idiot. With the wealth the Antarctic Coven possesses, obviously they can just go to this other coven and throw money at them to get what they want.

"A hefty sum." Wilbur walks over and puts the book down on the bedside table. How dare he call Techno stubborn when he's too petty to follow basic instructions? "Worth it though, to get you something you enjoy."

"I'd also enjoy my freedom," Techno says.

Wilbur laughs as if he's making a joke while he leaves the room again.

Sighing, Techno gets up, grabs the book, and goes to sit at his desk. He's happy to find it doesn't seem like anybody else touched it since he left. Which makes sense, he used to be the only feeder there who could read. He flicks back to the page he last wrote on, a small crease in the corner marking the spot.

He gets through three whole chapters before dinner time.

Techno asks for a lot more things after that.

At first, they're all things he does genuinely want. Such as a nice, thick, woolen duvet. He doesn't think these vampires realize that never turning on the ancient heating system of their ridiculously big mansion affects how a human experiences temperature. Techno isn't cold during the day, but at night, the Antarctic Coven really lives up to its name. So it's nice to have a good, soft blanket to snuggle up with. Phil gets him one that is forest green and has dark red embroidery along the edges. It's pretty cozy.

Techno asks for a small mini-fridge to put in his room, then for various snacks and drinks to fill it up with. The coven obliges. Techno asks for a few more books he used to enjoy. All of them are brought to him within a day. He asks for a handheld gaming device, wondering if those are even in use anymore. The little Gameboy type machine he receives is probably considered an antique in this world. Techno wastes a lot of hours on Tetris.

And he keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop.

One of his demands must be the straw that breaks the camel's back. There are plenty of less-than-flattering words Techno can think of to describe vampires, but 'dumb' isn't really one of them. Most vampires are extremely smart. No doubt Phil, Wilbur, and even Tommy, aren't stupid enough to believe they can actually buy Techno's permission to feed on him. If they do, they're sorely mistaken.

So Techno keeps asking for things, wondering if his next request is what makes them lose all patience and give up.

"Movie theater popcorn?!" Tommy repeats, raising his voice as if saying it louder will change Techno's mind.

"It's popcorn you get at a movie theater," Techno says, tone flat.

"I know what it is," Tommy hisses, a little irritated in a way that Techno would almost call entertaining. "Where the fuck do you expect me to get movie theater popcorn."

Techno looks at him, trying to invoke exactly how unimpressed he is. "That's kind of in the name, Tommy."

"Human are so-" Tommy starts to yell, then cuts himself off and stomps out of the room, leaving the door open. Curious, Techno follows. At the top of the stairs, Tommy cups his hands around his mouth to bellow through the house. "PHIL!"

Almost immediately, the sire appears in the foyer, looking just a little frazzled. Very unusual for Phil. Guess even this sire isn't immune to a fledgling screaming. "What? What's wrong?"

"It wants popcorn," Tommy says.

"What?"

"Your human. Your tiresome little acquisition." Tommy points at Techno with a lot of judgment. "It wants popcorn."

Feeling safe to venture out of the room a little bit, Techno steps out into the hallway. Phil's eyes instantly fall on him, pinning him in place automatically. Phil's confusion washes away into something else. Techno expects irritation, perhaps. Or anger. Except, Phil only raises a brow as his attention shifts back to Tommy.

"Firstly, may I remind you that you're the one who almost got beheaded and then asked for the Blade line feeder as repayment?" Phil says. "Secondly, if the man wants some popcorn then just make him some damn popcorn. You know how the microwave works."

"It wants movie theater popcorn," Tommy practically whines.

"Movie theater," Phil repeats lowly. "Okay, yeah, that might be an issue."

"Vampires don't go to the movies anymore?" Techno asks, leaning against the wall. "Did you outlaw fun when you outlawed humans?"

"Why the hell would I go to a stinky old room full of other people to watch a movie when I can do so at home," Tommy says. "Our TV screen is bigger too. Humans have such useless inventions, no wonder you never figured out cloning."

"Pretty sure we were well on track for that until you guys downgraded us to the bottom of the food chain," Techno shoots back.

"Knock it off, you two," Phil says with a smile. "I'm sure we can figure something out to get Techno his popcorn. Maybe we can just buy the machine somewhere."

Techno tips forward a little, barely able to catch Phil's face over the balustrade since the sire is still in the foyer downstairs. "Are you sure? Seems like a lot of trouble."

"Whatever makes you happy," Phil answers.

Another retort to the effect of only his freedom giving Techno true happiness is quickly swallowed down.

They really seem to think that this will work. That being nice to him for long enough is somehow going to magically make him okay with them wanting to drink his blood. It completely boggles Techno's mind.

And maybe scares him a little too.

This tactic must have been successful with other humans, the way Phil talks about it. Techno knows that the expectations instilled in feeders by the nursery are extremely low. As long as the coven that owns you isn't actively hurting you, what is there to complain about? From birth, feeders are raised on how to behave, so any harm that befalls them is punishment for bad behavior. And anything above the bare minimum is a reward, or something to be grateful for. Being a feeder for the Antarctic Empire, getting the things Techno is getting… Other humans must think it's wonderful. They'd be envious.

While Techno can't muster up the smallest sliver of gratitude.

Techno doesn't really want to believe that for other humans, this is enough. That they'd lay down their lives to be in his position, literally so if it means offering their body up to a vampire's appetite. But he knows it's true no matter how gross and hollow it makes him feel. The children and the nursery would go to bed dreaming of a place like this. His fellow feeders in the other coven would gladly change places with him. Any other human the Antarctic Coven ever took possession of would have given them whatever they wanted ages ago.

Maybe there truly is something wrong with Techno that makes him keep resisting. It's not like them feeding on him would make too much difference at this point, he thinks.

Techno shoves it down. Because the only thing that more viscerally disgusts him than knowing the Antarctic Coven uses kindness as a lure to reel feeders in and then pats themselves on the back for it, is falling for such a shallow trick himself.

At least his stubbornness doesn't seem to bother the three vampires he's stuck with. While Techno is still waiting for their patience to run out, his refusal serves as endless entertainment.

"You can't get it any more authentic than this. Promise." Wilbur flicks a switch that lights up the popcorn machine. It's a huge contraption. The table minutely shakes under the force of it coming to life. Techno has never seen anything like this.

"You seem to know what you're doing," Phil says, watching Wilbur scoop corn into the metal pan that hangs suspended in a glass box. Inside, Techno catches a glimpse of the part that turns circles. What a strange sight.

"Yeah, he was probably born before it was invented," Techno says.

"I'm not that old," Wilbur defends. "It's a popcorn machine, not rocket science."

"When does it start getting interesting?" Tommy complains, leaning his chin on his hand. He was the one who actually managed to find the machine. Went quite a ways to search for it too, Techno had to hear all about Tommy's adventurous trip to another city, where he found a vampire that collected human artifacts. They sold Tommy the popcorn machine.

"Any minute now…" Wilbur says. A tense few seconds of silence pass, all of them listening for that first pop. When it finally starts, Tommy actually throws up his hands and cheers.

"Hell yeah!"

"I haven't seen one of these in action in ages," Phil hums appreciatively as the smell of freshly popped popcorn fills the room.

"Old man," Tommy says with a glance.

"Little shit."

After a few minutes - and to his muted surprise that it came to this at all - Techno is sitting at the table with a bowl of buttered popcorn in front of him, little glimmers of crystalline sugar stuck to each kernel. It looks amazing, it smells amazing. Techno could almost forget he honestly asked for this just to be a nuisance.

He tries to ignore the stares of three very curious, very eager vampires as he shoves some into his mouth.

The popcorn tastes amazing too.

"They're fine," Techno says evenly. Wilbur groans, which makes Techno smile a little, but Phil and Tommy only nod in acceptance.

"If they're just fine, you won't mind if we take the rest?" Wilbur tries, reaching for the bowl. Techno snatches it away quickly, wrapping a protective arm around it.

"I'm not finished yet."

"How do they taste?" Phil asks placidly, maybe trying to change the subject or distract him.

"Uh, sweet? I guess?" Techno says. He's not the best at describing taste. The nutrient paste he grew up on was bland, everything else is overwhelming in flavor. So any tastes Techno experiences now are categorized as either too much or too little.

"And don't forget who gave you that sweet treat," Tommy presses. "Don't you think I should get one in return?"

Techno frowns. "Bruh, I just told you I'm not sharing my popcorn."

"That's not what I meant," Tommy says, pouting. Techno stares at him, understanding exactly what he means but purposefully making Tommy say it out loud. "Your blood. Can I finally-"

"No," Techno cuts in, then follows it up with another mouthful of popcorn. He ignores it when Tommy's hand slips away and his forehead hits the table with an annoyed grunt. Techno doesn't care, he's eating popcorn.

Movie theater popcorn. Wild.

"I don't know why people keep complaining about their Blade line humans," Wilbur comments offhandedly, directing his words to Phil. "Maybe they don't know how to take care of one. If you keep their needs met, they're quite docile. It's not even throwing stuff anymore."

Reaching down, Techno gives the tablecloth a sharp tug, allowing Phil's fancy glass candelabra perched on the other side of the table to fall onto the ground and shatter.

"Fucking hell," Phil sighs. "Can you stop antagonizing him for once, mate?"

Techno uses the excuse of eating more popcorn to hide a grin behind his hand.

Techno sits back on the lawn chair and watches a colorful bouncy house fill up with compressed air. His latest request, now creating an absolute eyesore in the backyard of this powerful coven.

How novel.

"Why do you even want this fucking thing? Are you going to use it?" Wilbur asks him, making an effort to be heard over the atrocious sound of the inflation.

"Absolutely not," Techno says. "But I thought it would liven up the place."

"He's playing with us," Wilbur growls at the other two.

"I know he is," Phil answers, smiling. Unbothered.

Either the best actor in the world or a vampire with a terrifying amount of restraint. Perhaps both.

By now, Techno will fully admit he's simply asking for things he thinks they'll never give him.

He's running out of ideas, to be frank. He's getting antsy. Techno expected to be called out on the increasing ridiculousness of his requests ages ago. How the heck are they still getting him this stuff?

"We can put the longsword on your wall," Phil says. He holds the handle up so the light can catch on the iron. "Maybe right here, opposite your bed."

"You're giving me a sword?" Techno says.

"That's what you asked for, isn't it?"

"Yes, I know." Techno tilts his head. "But you're giving it to me. Why?"

Phil looks at him sheepishly. "... Because you asked for it?"

At this rate, Techno is the one who will run out of patience first.

"Give it to me," he says, holding out his hand. Phil doesn't hesitate, handing him the sword. Techno is surprised at the weight of it. Heavier than he expected. Humans used to fight with swords before guns were invented, and Techno's entire genetic strain was named after these. But it's just a flat, useless piece of metal. The edges aren't even sharpened.

"It looks dull," Techno observes.

"This is a replica," Phil says. "Display model. I didn't want to give you something dangerous."

Finally some pushback. Techno grips the handle harder. Then his grasp grows slack again, and he puts the sword on his dresser instead. "Is that why there are bars on the windows?"

Phil's eyes flit towards them. Techno thought that was funny when he arrived, especially with Phil's insurance that they wouldn't keep a human captive against their will. He thought Phil was just lying. That he's a hypocrite. But he's not. Not on purpose, at least. Phil - Wilbur and Tommy too - is completely sincere when he says he doesn't force his feeders into anything. He fully, wholeheartedly believes that.

It makes Techno sick.

"We wouldn't want you to hurt yourself climbing out the window," Phil chuckles, lightly. "I can open the front door for you again, if you want?" He looks at Techno curiously.

If Techno says yes, will that make Phil happy? There goes the Blade line human, trying to run away. A feisty, defiant little thing. Doing exactly what is expected of him. Exactly what they want him to do.

Exactly how they created him.

"No," Techno says. He turns and walks to Phil. A few other blades are lying on the desk, though they're short and made of silver. Daggers would probably be a more accurate way to describe them. None of them are sharpened either. Techno picks one up, appreciating the better, more elaborate design.

"Are you sure?" Phil asks, smiling a bit, though closer to sly than a genuine emotion. "I've read that walks are a great addition to a human's routine. Not good for your health to stay cooped up too long. 'Stir crazy' they call it."

Techno doesn't answer. He heard the other feeders whisper here and there about silver being a vampire repellent. Hilarious, considering how much silver Phil keeps around. Decorations, tableware, ornate picture frames on the walls. The dagger is polished so the brightness almost hurts his eyes.

"Or are you content here now?" Phil inquires at his silence, stepping a bit closer. Hovering almost against him.

Techno turns around and slams the small blade into Phil's gut.

The dagger might not be sharpened, but the thing is that it doesn't have to be if you put enough force behind your push forward. And the stomach is a vulnerable body part, all soft tissue and pillowy flesh. A vampire's skin isn't actually harder to slice through than a human's, it just doesn't do nearly as much damage.

Evidenced by the way Phil only exhales a surprised burst of air, gripping Techno's wrist. His fingers encircle and press into the bone, Techno winces. But he doesn't let go, nor does Phil release his wrist.

The sire laughs. "You promised you weren't going to use these to try and kill us."

Techno did promise that, when Phil had jokingly asked if that's why he wanted weapons.

"I'm not," Techno says honestly. "This isn't even close to fatal."

"Right," Phil agrees. He takes a step closer, driving the dagger deeper into himself as he backs Techno up against the desk. Techno's hip hits it first, then his legs. He's cornered, and he hates it, and that's a relief.

He prefers this over the mimicry that they care about him or his feelings.

"Then why?" Phil asks.

"Wilbur says vampires feel pain."

Phil pushes against Techno's wrist, softly. He could rip the blade out if he wanted to, or break Techno's entire arm. But he doesn't, simply moving Techno's hand gently to the side so the dagger tears through him in a horizontal direction. The fact that it isn't sharpened makes everything worse, bluntly rending through Phil's body. All the way until it props free from the flesh right above his hip.

A smell fills the room, one Techno has become somewhat familiar with. Rot, decay, stagnant dark blood that has sat idle in veins for centuries. A few spots stain the front of Phil's shirt, where Techno cut through and on the side of his waist. Not a lot, though. The wound is so insignificant, it has knit itself together already.

Techno's fingers seem to shake around the handle, he doesn't know why. A squeeze to his wrist prompts him to drop the dagger, even if Phil keeps holding his wrist after.

"We do feel pain," Phil says at long last.

Techno meets his cold, blue eyes. "Good."

Phil laughs again, letting go and stepping back, but not before kicking the dagger to the other side of the room where Techno can't reach it.

He gets to keep the sword.

"They're going to stink up the entire house if we keep them inside." Tommy scrunches up his nose, as if the smell is unbearable already.

"Don't be so dramatic, they barely have a scent to them," Wilbur says. "Besides, Techno is going to keep them outside. Then he can't sulk in his room anymore because he'll have to come out to care for them."

Techno doesn't reply to the two vampires having a conversation behind him. Though, he wants it on the record that he wasn't sulking. He has so much stuff in his room now, there's not really a point to walking around the mansion. He can't leave anyway. Might as well occupy himself with his collection, more trinkets and distractions than most humans would have in a lifetime.

But Techno thought up something else he assumed they'd never give him. So here Techno is, staring at two adorable round balls of fluff sitting on the living room couch.

Well, they're technically rabbits. Genetically engineered ones - Phil said something about most common domestic species having long since been altered and all animal pets being made on demand these days. Whenever vampires do want animal pets, it's not a very common whim. Which means Phil specifically paid somebody to make two rabbits for him, because Techno asked for it. And also that Phil made the conscious decision to have them be pink.

Techno carefully reaches out to pet one, the small creature twitching nervously under his palm. Its fur is short and soft, a delicate shade of pastel pink with patches of white. The second bunny has slightly longer fur that is a darker shade. They're adorable.

"Are you going to name them?" Wilbur asks suddenly.

"Carl and Steve," Techno says, having thought about this beforehand.

"Stupid ass names," Tommy mutters. Techno glares at him.

"They're his pets, he can name them whatever he wants," Wilbur shrugs.

"Yeah, and I can tell him they're stupid ass names," Tommy retorts haughtily, even raising his chin a bit. "They're going to be stuck with those names forever."

Wilbur elbows his brother in the side. "They're bunnies, they don't care."

"I would care," Tommy insists.

"Good thing you're not a bunny then."

Despite himself, Techno chuckles. He pets the other one too, wouldn't want them to get jealous. Techno can't start with the favoritism this early. When he withdraws his hand, Carl hops up to snuggle into Steve's side, looking completely content.

"I set up a big pen for them to live in near the back door," Phil says as he walks into the living room. "I did have to take down your bouncy house, sorry about that, mate."

Techno snorts. "Pity. It looked so good combined with your Victorian era architecture."

"Let's just get them into the enclosure before they piss all over my couch," Phil says seriously. Techno almost wishes the bunnies would.

But no, they lack any convenient droppings as a parting gift. Techno picks them up in his arms, noticing their extremely affectionate and calm temperaments. Not a single twitch or struggle about the mandhandling. That might also be due to the genetic engineering.

Perfectly designed pets.

"Trust me, they'll adore it," Phil adds. "It's a great set-up, lots of space, the best quality food and toys. If you take good care of them, I bet they'll love it here in no time. They won't even want to leave." He puts a hand on Techno's back as he leads him outside.