Title: Wide Awake, Thinking
Author: badly-knitted
Characters: Ryo, Dee.
Rating: PG-13
Setting: Vol. 7, Act 19.
Summary: After their first time sleeping together, Ryo is too busy thinking to fall asleep.
Word Count: 580
Content Notes: None needed.
Written For: The prompt any, any, 'The morning of the night before I'm wide awake and thinking of you' at threesentenceficathon.
Disclaimer: I don't own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.
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Ryo knew he should probably be sleeping, yesterday had been both busy and stressful, and today would no doubt be more of the same, but… He was in Dee's bed, and Dee was sound asleep beside him, and… Although this wasn't the first time they'd shared a bed, wasn't even the first time they'd shared this particular bed, so it wasn't a completely unfamiliar situation, this time everything felt completely different, which made sense because last night… Last night he'd finally stopped pushing Dee away, last night he'd finally said 'yes' instead of 'no', last night he'd given up the battle against his own doubts and fears and had accepted what his partner had been offering him practically since the first day they'd met, and…
It had been amazing, indescribable, a complete revelation, nothing like he'd imagined it would be, and despite his worries, he hadn't lost his sense of self, hadn't drowned in the emerald depths of Dee's eyes, hadn't really changed at all, not in any significant way. He was still the man he'd been before only… He felt calmer, clear-headed, a bit sore in places, which was only to be expected, but other than that he felt… good. It was almost as if he'd woken up from some kind of lifelong, dreamlike trance, and was only now, finally, existing in the real world. As if with a kiss and a lot of stuff Ryo was resolutely NOT going to think about right now, because then he'd stand no chance of getting any sleep tonight at all, Dee had woken a part of him that had been dormant, a part he'd never fully been aware of before, and…
Dee had been surprisingly gentle with him, patient, taking things slow and careful, not rushing him, letting Ryo himself set the pace. Ryo hadn't expected that, because the way his partner had always taken any opportunity to pounce on him, kiss him, grope him in intimate places without ever bothering to ask permission, he'd been expecting more of the same. He'd almost been steeling himself to be thoroughly ravished, and… well, maybe he had been, he certainly had no complaints, but if he HAD been ravished, it had been done tenderly, considerately, awakening sensations in Ryo he didn't think he'd ever experienced before, hadn't known he was even capable of feeling, and…
He forced his mind to stop its mad whirl, knowing he really should try to get a couple of hours' sleep at least, because come morning he and Dee both needed to be back bodyguarding Alicia Grant, and at this rate Dee would be rested and refreshed while Ryo would be half asleep and dragging, which would never do, but… Propping himself up on one elbow, he studied his partner, sound asleep beside him, taking in every detail, tying his best to memorise the sight so he'd never forget this moment. Dee looked somehow younger than he did when he was awake, relaxed and untroubled. He was smiling faintly, and Ryo smiled too as he lay back down. He hadn't changed, not in any way anyone would notice, but he was at last accepting the truth about himself, the truth Dee had worked so hard to make him face up to, the truth he'd tried to deny for so long, and the world hadn't ended. He knew who he was now, he was a gay man in love with his partner, and he was surprisingly okay with that.
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The End