"Fuck." Hiromi cursed as she took that in. "Wait you said… Counter Intel? She isn't going to like, flatline us right?"

"No, I trust V. She's good people… Mostly. Just let me do the talking and pretend you don't know anything. But you deserve to know what's going on. You're my team after all."

"Arasaka Counter Intel… Good people?" Malcolm faux whispered to Ichi who just elbowed him to shut up. Ichi obviously realized that with Hiromi's reaction it must be a big deal.

The Most Interesting Choom in Night City

*The purple haired teenager is leading a very dangerous V to the outpost while Section 9 looks on from Dakota's garage. She turns back to them when the corpo isn't looking to give them a thumb's up and a wink.*

Narrator: "She befriended a senior Arasaka C.I. agent with a high body count…because she thought she needed a friend.'"

*Scene cuts to a beautiful Japanese zen garden. Motoko is kneeling right next to the attentive CEO of Arasaka as he patiently writes out English words on a kindergarten workbook. The camera pans around to show that he wrote the word 'dookie' - they both start giggling mischievously while a small army of ninja servants stare at the scene in terror.*

Narrator: "Saburo Arasaka learned English…simply because she said it was 'in' that year."

*Motoko, wearing skull makeup and a skeleton tailcoat, is leaving a Valentino's nightclub during Día de Muertos. Dozens of formerly armed guards are convulsing on the street. A bunch of onlookers in undead themed attire cheer her on and offer her tamales and tequila. Bizarrely enough, none of the downed gangoons seem all that upset and one of them is even giving her a shaky thumbs up.*

Narrator: "If she quickhacks you, you would have to fight the strong urge to thank her."

*Motoko is smirking smugly as she uses a suspiciously large gold-plated keyshard to open a random titanium door at a corpo penthouse. The door slides open to reveal a lively jamboree full of partying college students from NCU. The party momentarily stops as the guests stare at Motoko in confusion. She opens her coat to reveal several bottles of rare liquor imported from Europe. The party lets out a collective roar of approval and Motoko walks in happily.*

Narrator: "Night Corp gave her the keys to the city…Literally, they open anything in the city."

*The gremlin netrunner is live mixing aggressively on a tron-inspired DJ set as floating code swirls around her to the beat of the music. The dance floor is filled with thousands of Rache Bartmoss clones moving and dancing in anatomically impossible ways. The stadium is surrounded by thousands more digital constructs grooving to the beat. The AI ghost of Alt Cunningham stands protectively near Motoko as her bodyguard and focuses on swatting away Netwatch daemons trying to sneak into the virtual stage.*

Narrator: "She regularly breaches the Blackwall…because she finds the locals to be pleasant company."

*Scene shifts to Motoko lounging in her living room couch as Section 9 argues with themselves over who gets the last slice of pizza. The girl smiles at the camera while holding a glass.*

Narrator: "She is…The Most Interesting Choom in Night City."

Motoko: "I don't always drink beer, but when I do…look, I just don't drink beer because most of them taste like piss. Water is perfectly fine! Stay hydrated my homies!"

Look, Motoko's friendship with V looks really weird from an outsider's POV. I figured Section 9 was going to have questions about how bizarrely magnetic Motoko can be with new people and everything flowed from there.

Obviously this is a parody of the Dos Equis "Most Interesting Man in the World" commercials. If you want an in-universe explanation, imagine that the Charisma attribute existed and Motoko leveled that sucker up to 20. I actually almost called this omake "CHA 20" instead.