The New Intern

*Team meeting at the Kusanagi apartment*

Motoko: "Here's the deal David, I consider you to be a part of Section 9. Therefore, I made the executive decision to give you some new work opportunities within our organization."

David: "Thank you for this chance! Oh man, I'm so pumped!"

Ichi, Malcolm, and Hiromi: *Varying degrees of acceptance to this* "Um…"

Motoko: "But you're going to need a lot of work before I let you join us on gigs…a whole lot of work…so much work…"

David: *Excitement dims a little* "...I guess that makes sense…"

Motoko: "Also, I'm pretty sure your mom would literally stab me if I take you anywhere even remotely dangerous so any tasks with a possibility of violence is off the table…"

Hiromi: "I've met her, I can confirm mama Martinez would absolutely shank us like a new prisoner on the cellblock if David gets so much as a papercut."

Ichi and Malcolm: *Begin edging away from David out of fear*

David: *Excitement dims a lot* "...I mean, you're not wrong…"

Motoko: *Pulls out a shard in triumph* "Hence, why I decided that David can be our official intern! Here's your list of completely safe tasks Mr. Martinez!"

*She hands him the shard which he nervously inserts into his port.*

David: *Increasingly cranky as he reads on* "Laundry, mopping, cleaning, printing documents, food deliveries, recycling detail, trash disposal…this is just typical lackey scop!"

Motoko: *Smug grin* "Oh, I prefer thinking of it as valuable life experiences. A new employee should start at the bottom rung and stay there for a long, long period of time to help build character and humility! "

David: *Deadpan expression* "You literally quoted that from the 'Efficient Corporate Management' textbook, didn't you?"

Motoko: *Shameless smile* "Guilty as charged!"

Hiromi: *Dabs her eyes with her Arasaka handkerchief* "They grow up so fast…"

Ichi: *Evil grin* "You know what guys? I'm kinda thirsty. I could use a pick-me-up…like a Matapang coffee…"

*Weird silence as everyone looks expectantly at David, who scowls back.*

David: *Offended* "What am I? Your waiter? Get your own damn coffee."

Ichi: *Calmly leans back on chair* "Dude, everyone knows that interns have the sacred duty of coffee detail. It's a law of nature. It's like in the manual of life or something."

David: *Angrily crosses his arms* "Listen 'choom', the only thing you're getting from me is my foot up your…"

Hiromi: *Loudly coughs and pulls out a wad of eddies from her jacket* "Ahem…"

David: *Suddenly giving Ichi an award winning smile* "...And how do you want your refreshing beverage sir?"

Ichi: "...Did you call me sir? Keep that up and you'll go far in our company Mr. Martinez…"