And so Katarina trained. She drew and sheathed her sword standing. She drew and sheathed her sword sitting. She drew and sheathed it lying on her back. She drew it lying down on her front, which was really hard and awkward but doable, if barely, and nearly impossible to sheath back in. She did it while lying down under her bed, which was really complicated, and lying under her bed on her side, which was nigh impossible. She did it while hanging upside-down, hanging by legs from a tree, while sitting sideways on a railing, and while sliding down a banister.
After both Anne, Anne's girlfriend, and L– Dame Campbell scolded her for doing that and was punished by– she shuddered– assisting the teachers teaching the children by reading passages from the textbooks for them, Katarina stuck to the sword drawing-and-sheathing exercises she was assigned.
She also had to modify her morning sword drills so she started with drawing, doing a sequence, and ending with sheathing. It was hard since she had a routine she'd been doing for years, and she was scolded every time she forgot to sheath her sword, but after a few days she got used to that too.
It helped that her new belt and sheath were so nice! It was a thick but supple leather, and she could already tell it would last her years with proper maintenance! And it was so convenient during her afternoon breaks, allowing her to keep a towel and some hand tools tucked into it with her sword. She was told to wear it everywhere so she'd get used to the feeling and so she'd learn not to let it bump into things, but after a few days it was like an old friend! It was the soulmate for her practice sword she never knew she needed!
L– Dame Campbell also started randomly attacking her with her practice sword, telling her she expected Katarina to learn how to draw and block unexpected attacks. As getting hit was good motivation, and Katarina was getting good at sword drawing, she decided to put her hand on her sword and be ready to draw as soon as she saw Maria.
THAT got Katarina her first lecture on sword etiquette, with Ma– er, Dame Campbell looking very much like mother when she did it. Unlike mother, however, Dame Campbell used small, simple, easy to understand words like 'it's rude', and 'it hurts people's feeling and they get mad at you because you made them sad' and 'it makes people think you don't trust them' and 'people think you want to hurt them'. It was all simple enough that Katarina actually understood what Dame Campbell was saying after a second explanation.
"So, no grabbing your sword because it's super rude and mean and hurtful," Katarina finished.
Dame Campbell nodded. "An excellent summary Squire," she said. "I'm glad you understand."
"But…" Katarina said. "If I'm not holding my sword when you swing at me, it takes longer to draw it."
"Then that means you need to get faster at every step," Maria said. "The alternative is to be a mean, rude person who doesn't trust anyone and doesn't care about other people's feelings, who is always looking for a fight in the eyes of other knights. Is that the sort of knight you want to be?"
Before Katarina could answer, Maria suddenly drew her sword and slashed at her in one smooth motion. With a yelp, Katarina backstepped, fumbling for her sword for a moment before drawing it and holding in front of her, ready to parry.
"There are other ways to react when you're suddenly attacked," Mar– er, Dame Campbell said, but she nodded in approval as she said it. "You're not limited to just drawing your sword. But getting better at it means you get better overall."
Drawing her sword while backstepping got added to the things Katarina was to practice.
The next time Dame Campbell suddenly drew her sword at Katarina in the middle of scolding her for slouching, Katarina threw a snake in her face. By the time a surprised Dame Campbell managed to parry it out of the air, Katarina had already managed to draw and parry the backswing, and the fifteen more that came after that. She only stopped parrying when Dame Campbell finally stepped back and sheathed her sword. It was only on the nod of approval that Katarina finally sheathed herself and made sure to keep her hands away from her sword as she stood at attention.
"An unorthodox response…" Dame Campbell said. "But effective." Katarina grinned. "But do you have more than–" and that's when the sword came out again and she barely deflected it away.
It wasn't perfect, but carrying a snake helped Katarina buy time to draw her sword. After all, she'd only been working on drawing a sword for a few days. She'd been working on the Emergency Snake Toss for years. Her speed and accuracy were unrivaled!
Ah, but she wasn't relying on just her brave Toy Snakes (Mass production version! Less realistic, but faster to make!)! She was still diligently working on getting faster with her sword drawing! She practiced and practiced and practiced (drawing while rolling, drawing before rolling, and drawing after rolling had been included to the list of draws she had to practice) and practiced some more! If there was one thing Katarina could boast about, it's that she was good at practicing!
And then came the day she feared.
Etiquette lessons.
Her Squire (!-!-!-!) was trying to put on a brave face, but she was clearly very nervous. The from terror in her eyes, you'd have thought she'd been ordered to go alone, naked and unarmed, into the ancient Labyrinths of the Pthumerians to slay all that lay within with a carving knife.
"Do we really have to do this?" her Squire (!-!-!-!) muttered diffidently in a pleading, wheedling tone as they walked through the manor's halls to the room Maria had had prepared for this lesson. "I still have a lot of practice I need to do. yup, lots of practice. Got to practice drawing my sword a lot."
"That would be a shame," Maria said. "Your teacher prepared very hard for this, you know. She's been preparing all week, in fact, so she could teach you."
Her Squire (!-!-!-!) blinked. "Wait, you're not teaching me?"
"Oh, I am," Maria said. "Just not about this. I can best teach you sword etiquette and proper behavior expected of a knight. In more basic areas, anyone versed in the matter will be suitable. Besides, I do have other things I need to do, my squire, so I will leave you to learn. You will dine with me at the dining hall to demonstrate how well you have comprehended the lesson. Fail, and your teacher will be punished."
"Eh?!" Squire Claes exclaimed. "Wait, that's not fair! Shouldn't it be me you should punish?"
"I believe you've demonstrated the futility of punishing you for your failing to learn proper behavior," Maria said as they arrived in front of the small dining room. "So instead, your teacher will be punished for failing to teach you. Learn well, and they will not need to be."
For a moment, Squire Claes frowned, as if strongly disagreeing. Before she could say anything, Maria pushed open the door.
Inside, the table had been prepared for a formal meal, and Ghirardeli and Lasciel were at hand to serve the courses and take away plates. The place settings were fully laid out for a full course meal. Off to the sides, covered platters on top of warmers stood on trays. Maria knew many of them were empty and were simply props, but they were meant to confuse Katarina's expectations if she had any.
Waiting for the, fresh out school for that day, was Shana, Maria's young ward who possessed Light Magic, and only 9 years of age. She wore a simple and clean dress, and her chin-length brown hair had been combed and parted to give her a neat, formal look. She held a leather folder containing several sheets of notes, and at her side, on the table, was a new but rapidly being worn copy of 'The Noble's Proper Etiquette Reference and Manual of Propriety and Action', seventh edition. Many paper bookmarks stuck out from its pages. Beneath it was an even more worn copy of 'The Noble's Proper Etiquette Reference and Manual of Propriety and Action', sixth edition, which had so many bookmarks sprouting from it, the book could have been used as a paintbrush.
When they entered, Shana made a little curtsy (!-!-!-!-!), dipping her head in greeting, and then neatly folding her hands in front of her, still holding her folder. "Hello, Dame Campbell, Squire Claes," she said, and Maria resisted the urge– several urges, in fact– to do something that would greatly damage her dignity.
"You remember my ward Shana, of course?" Maria said. "For the past year, Lady Hunt has been teaching her everything she needs to know so she may fit into noble and Academy society when she comes of age. Her education is not yet complete, but it has included the basics and many advanced lessons regarding propriety, comportment, and etiquette. As a test of her comprehension, she will be teaching you etiquette starting today and for the foreseeable future. After all, if she can teach proper etiquette to someone else, then it means she has a sufficiently mastered grasp of the subject."
While Maria had proven Katarina could be taught by bribery, it was a slow, expensive, and quite frankly degrading process for all involved. And so she was resorting to this.
"Every other night on school days, and on weekends, you shall have lessons with Shana," Maria said. "As a practical test, you will then dine with me. For tonight, a simple test of proper dining etiquette and correct use of utensils. We shall develop the test in subsequent nights and eventually include dinner conversation and postprandial drinks and discussion. The weekends shall be used to test non-meal related etiquette. Any improper behavior on your part, as well as mistakes regarding the subject matter of the day shall reflect on Shana's teachings and she will be marked for it."
As Katarina turned to stare at her in fearful disbelief, Maria continued, "Each mark will result in a reduction of her desert allotment. She only has a limited number of allotments. If they run out… Shana will receive no treats after dinner."
Katarina gasped, voice and expression horrified. "You monster!"
That was probably the strongest language she'd ever heard Katarina use towards her. Even so, her choice of words made Maria twinge inside, and for a moment she wanted to divulge that it was all a logical ruse, that this didn't really affect the desert Shana would have gotten, only the amount of extra desert treats she'd get for this added chore.
She hardened her heart. She'd watched innocent people die, had killed them with her own hands. She could take a little foul, soul-crushing language and pained, disappointed Squire (!-!-!-!) eyes…
"You have until a quarter of an hour before dinner," Maria said instead. She nodded to Shana. "I leave everything to you, Shana."
"I'll make you proud mother!" the girl said.
She really should correct her about that. Maria was just her guardian after all, not her mother. No papers had been signed, no adoption had been arranged. She was not of Maria's house.
Instead she said, "I have every confidence in you," she said, then rapidly made her escape, closing the door behind her.
Then she stood there for fifteen minutes fighting with herself to not literally listen in on the keyholes of her own house, hearing only the muffled sounds of her dau– er, her ward and her Squire's voices (!-!-!-!-!), until finally with great force of will she departed to do her paperwork. It was very urgent paperwork and she needed to do it. Yup, very urgent. Besides, she was too mature to listen at keyholes…
Dinner came, and it was with great nervousness (why was she nervous? She wasn't the one being tested!) that Maria descended down to the main dining room.
"Maria, is something bothering you?" Rafael said as they waited for all the children to get seated. This was mostly because they were all crowding around mother, getting hugs and showing her that day's drawings test papers and other things.
She blinked at him. "What makes you say that, Rafael?" she asked.
"You're stroking my thigh," he said, glancing under the table. She followed his gaze. Huh. So she was. "So what's bothering you?"
"I… had Shana give Katarina a lesson in etiquette," Maria said. "Specifically dining etiquette. They should be coming from the small dining room to join us and presenting the results of the lesson." She paused. "I occurs to me I might have made the stakes too high."
"Hmm…" Rafael said. "Do you think Katarina might not pass?"
Mouth twisting, Maria nodded… then blinked as Rafael flicked her in the forehead.
"Bad teacher," he said. "There's your problem right there. You should have more faith in your student. Correct them if they fail, but never expect them too. That only makes it more likely they will. Students can tell when their teacher expects them to fail, after all. That's why I've stopped resigning myself to Larna somehow doing something stupid. If I expect her to do things right, more often than not she does. And now when she screws up, sometimes she even owns up to it even when there aren't any witnesses. Mostly because we keep her in a room with only one entrance and track who goes in, but still! Progress!"
Maria blinked, and tilted her head thoughtfully. Then she nodded. "Thank you Rafael. I needed to hear that."
"Any time," he said. "Now take your hand off before your mother sees."
Giving his thigh one last stroke, Maria took her hand away and settled for merely rubbing against his calf with her foot.
Eventually, Katarina and Shana arrived, both looking nervous, and took the places one down from Maria's right, next to Rafael, and three done from Maria's left, next to Miss Shelley, who was here in her capacity as mother's friend and guest. They both sat nervously, though Katarina smiled briefly when she saw her maid, who responded. Once the children had all settled down to their seats and no longer underfoot, only then did Maria nod so that the food would be taken out of the kitchen and placed on the long buffet table. Once that was done everyone took their plates and formed lines to help themselves.
Normally, Maria would have rose and joined them, but it was a special night. At her gesture, Ghirardeli, Sadako, Lasciel and other serving staff came with the prepared courses and the test began.
It was a simple test, concerning the proper way to eat a simple three course meal. For added difficulty, Katarina had been provided with 3 extra utensils not appropriate for any planned course, and would need to pick the appropriate utensil for the course in front of her, after which the inappropriate utensils would be removed. It was a blatant violation of convention, but this was a test, after all. Her Squire (!-!-!-!-!) was clearly nervous, and stared first with nervousness, and then determination at the utensils before her. She kept glancing at Shana, who was staring at her with clenched fists and an intent but encouraging gaze. Both were clearly trying to silently communicate without actually saying anything or giving the appearance of cheating..
Still, Shana never actually gave any sign as to which utensil Katarina should select, and Katarina, while clearly trying to read her teacher's (!-!-!-!-!) mind, did not seem to be very good at it. And once utensil selection was finished, Katarina managed to eat at a proper, restrained pace, even if her shoulders were very stiff and she was clearly struggling force herself to cut the food into little bits and put them in her mouth one by one instead of merely sticking everything with her fork and popping it into her mouth. And she did pick the wrong spoon once, but seemed to realize it was wrong halfway to her plate (possibly from how wide Shana's eyes had gone) and had put it back. Maria had pretended not to see the lapse, intent on her food.
Mother and Rafael ignored the byplay, having been informed beforehand, beyond occasionally giving Katrina an encouraging but unhelpful smile. Miss Shelley's face had been so smooth one would think it were a death mask, although the way her utensils sometimes stopped moving completely for long stretches said she was not as apathetic as she was trying to look.
Eventually, however, all three courses were finished. There were lapses. Of course there were. How could there not be? Yet every time there was a lapse that Katarina and Shana knew was a lapse, Maria just happened to not be looking, or intent on her food, and was gesturing to Sadako, or was talking to her mother. Some lapses were witnessed, such as how Katarina started eating with the fish fork instead of the correct implement, but all in all…
"Well, that was a fine meal," Maria commented. "Given that this was only the first, and that Squire Claes understood her mistakes without needing to be told–" A big, fat, ceaselessly discharging lie, "I believe we can make allowances and award Shana full marks for her teaching this night."
There were three sighs, from Katarina, Shana and Miss Shelley, before student and teacher exchanged wide grins.
"That being said, I shall expect subsequent meals to be of subsequently higher standard," Maria continued. "So, Squire Claes, I expect you to retain this knowledge and not just lose it immediately."
"Yes, Dame Campbell," her Squire (!-!-!-!-!) said. Then she turned towards Shana and bowed. In Ashinago, she said, "Thank you for your teachings, Shana-sensei! I shall endeavor to learn more in future."
To Maria's bemusement, Shana bowed back. "This unworthy one is glad to have an able pupil. Let us both do our best."
Maria only barely understood a few words of that, but it sounded like something important had been said.
With the test finished, Shana was given the extra cookies for desert that she had earned. She took them happily, while Katarina had sighed in relief, muttering something under her breath about having protected Shana's desert. Then Shana had stood and walked around the table and handed Katarina one of the cookies.
"Here," she said. "This is for you. You were a good student, and a good student who does well in their exams deserves a reward."
"Ah, w-wait, isn't that your desert?" Katarina said, confused.
"It is," Shana said. "So I'm giving it to you. Continue working hard, and you'll get more cookies." She smiled.
It seemed even Shana had learned the basics of how to encourage Katarina Claes to do something.
Still, Maria was surprised. This was the most reticent Katarina had ever been about accepting food. She even glanced at Maria, but Maria had only shrugged.
Hesitantly, Katarina took the cookie. "Thank you sensei," she said. "I'll try to keep making you proud."
Shana patted Katarina on the head. "I know you will," she said.
Then, after going to Maria, Rafael and mother for a hug, she went to join the other children with her cookies in tow. The last Maria saw before losing sight of her were the cookies being broken into many pieces and being offered to everyone she met.
Katarina stared at the cookie. Then, with the most determined look on her face, she ate it (!-!-!-!-!).
It was another night at the Campbell estate.
A/N: So, my Pat-reon is up now at P.A.T.R.E.O.N.C.O.M -/-SCM2814. If you want to support this fic, that would be great, but no pressure. But if you do, you'll also get advanced access to my new original fiction series about a wizard on the frontier, her dungeon, and the idiots around her...