"Well, that went… well?" Lord Ascart, only sounding a little unsure at the end.
In response, Maria sighed in disappointment and Sophia and Lady Hunt began to cackle maniacally. It was a good cackle, the kind you made when someone just walked up to you and started talking to you, so you spew out some barely-relevant nonsense to get them to leave you alone, a creepy laugh straight from the time of myths.
"Nicol, I like you, in a completely straight and unromantic, manly way, and I think you're good for my brother, what with being the only one who makes him feel inadequate about his looks," Prince Alan said, "but that was your fault."
Lord Ascart nodded, and the two watched as their little sister and their fiancée cavorted around, doing some sort of weird dance that looked vaguely like a bizarre waltz. Maria stood aside and tried to pretend she wasn't with these mad people, lest they try and take her sword away for fear she would cut people's skull open looking for eyes on the inside.
"He got refused, he got refused, he got refused, he got refused…" the two kept singing, and if you didn't know the context, one could swear the two were lovers, so happily did they hold each other.
A few feet away, the door to the Third Prince's office opened again, and an irate blond head leaned out, hands over his eyes. "While I'm thankful you waited until you were out of my sight to do that, can you keep it down? I can hear you!" The blond head drew back and the door closed behind him.
"All right you two, that's enough, you can trample over my brothers pride and dignity on your own time," Prince Alan said. "Come on, let's get you home. We men still have work to do, and unfortunately our boss isn't as lenient as Maria."
"I am not lenient," Maria said coldly, crossing her arms over her chest. "Lady Sophia is in trouble for not properly filing for a day off."
"Hah ha!" Sophia crowed. "Joke's on you, I'm feeling too good to care right now!"
"You will be working one weekend to make up for this," Maria said sternly. "AND rereading the bylaws we made. Really Lady Sophia, you should know better than to agree to a contract you didn't read completely."
"Eh, what's the harm?" Sophia said flippantly. "It's not like you'd cheat me, you're too honorable to do that."
"And if the Third Prince ever wrote a contract that included a Katarina-related clause, how would you know?" Maria said.
"That will never happen!" Sophia declared. "No matter how fine the print, no matter how weird the font, Katarina's name will leap out at me like burning red letters announcing my death!"
"Really? Wah, I'm so jealous! I want Lady Katarina's name to leap out at me like that too!" Lady Hunt said.
"She's probably not even kidding," Prince Alan sighed.
"Either of them," Lord Ascart agreed.
Maria had a thought. Were they actually… trying to make themselves as simple-minded as Katarina, lowering their brains to her level? What a horrifying thought.
Though it would explain so, so much…!
Immediately disproving her theory, Prince Alan suggested they herd the two dancing women in the general direction of the front door, so that their wild flailing and steps were at least useful. Proving himself even smarter, Lord Ascart excused himself to attend to other errands for his father now that he'd dropped off the paperwork to the Third Prince, leaving Maria and Prince Alan to be humiliated by association as they guided the two dancing women to the front door.
"Sometimes I feel like you and I are the only sane people in our group," Prince Alan sighed. "And no offense, but sometimes I'm not sure about you."
Maria nodded. "That's fair. I often feel the same." She paused to consider. "Not Lord Ascart?"
"With his face, he could a raving lunatic and we'd never be able to tell," Prince Alan said.
That… was also horrifyingly plausible.
And so they guided the two down the corridors of the castle. They took a different route, as they did every time. The rotating staircases were turned on a regular basis, and had apparently been changed in the interim, so they had to walk out an outside balcony being patrolled by knights, down a gallery, up a ladder and into one of a pair of elevators hidden behind sliding walls before they reached the ground floor again. Maria really wished they could just pass through the servants corridors behind the walls, which were more direct and straightforward. Mythic-inspired architecture was impressive, but very tedious to navigate. She kept well away from the edges without guard rails and banisters. Surprisingly, Sophia did the same, eyeing the open ledges as if they had personally offended her.
"She's always had a problem with heights," Prince Alan explained. "Probably from being so short."
"I don't have a problem with heights, that's just ludicrous," Sophia protested. "I have a problem with falls. Seriously, it wouldn't kill anyone to spare some stone for a railing. In fact, it would do that exact opposite!"
"It's an ancient, venerable architectural style with a lot of history," Lady Hunt said. "One that goes all the way back to the home of the Betrayed Goddess."
"Yeah, well, I don't care what some old maid in black liked to do with her house, those things are unsafe!" Maria nodded sharply in agreement.
It was a relief to finally arrive on the ground floor.
"Well, thanks for visiting," Prince Alan said as he saw them to the entryway. "I'll try to find time to come tomorrow too. We can make a day of it. There's going to be a lot of food, so might as well have our own little party."
Maria frowned. "Why will there be a lot of food?" She saw no reason to have her kitchen make any more than what was usually made when she had visitors.
"Because my brother is likely to overcompensate by bringing a lot of snacks for Katarina," Prince Alan said, "and now that these two have heard, they're probably going to as well. Especially since my brother will also bring for the children so the food for Katarina isn't too blatant."
"Ah," Maria said, nodding. "Sounds about right. I'll have tables prepared."
"What, you're just going to assume we're going to compete with little prince blondie just on Alan's say so of what he'll do?" Lady Hunt said hotly.
"I mean, we will, but having you just assume that is kind of annoying!" Sophia said. "Come on Mary, let's go. Where's our carriage?"
"At Lady Selena's, remember?" Maria reminded them.
"Oh. Right. Hex it."
"I'll have one of the castle carriages take you there," Prince Alan said, signaling to a servant to do just that.
As they waited, Sophia and Lady Hunt broke out into another gleeful dance, so Maria took the opportunity to step away some distance and look at the painting currently gracing the entryway. It wasn't anything ominously thematic. Just a painting of a mythical bonfire in the middle of a circle of bare dirt within a circle of stones, burning the bones of the undead, a coiled sword thrust into its flames, as an androgynous armored figure sat before it in an attitude of rest, a woman in a hooded cloak leaning against them. Beyond them was a cliff overlooking a gentle sea.
It was a message, she supposed, that the castle offered safety and welcome. A strangely enduring image, bonfires, even now in the Age of Dark, when they were a myth.
"Lady Campbell?"
Maria blinked and looked to see a butler bowing towards her. "Yes?"
The butler straightened. "The King wishes to speak with you."
Maria went down to one knee as soon as she neared the king's desk at his office, right arm held out to the side palm up, left across her chest. "Your majesty," she proclaimed. "How may I serve my liege?"
"You can start by standing up," the king said, sounding mildly amused and exasperated. "If I wanted formality, we'd be talking in the throne room."
Maria nodded. "Noted, my liege."
The king stared at her, then rolled his eyes. "Arise, my knight," he said.
Maria rose smoothly, and stood before the king.
"So, I heard you went to visit my sons," King Artorias Stuart said. "Anything I should know about?"
"I was concerned the Third Prince was acting erratically, your majesty," Maria explained demurely. "He had neglected to visit my squire in the past week after I informed him she was free from training for the duration. When he did not appear, naturally I came to check if he had come under the malign influence of Dark Magic."
"It's sad and probably speaks of my failings as a father that all that makes perfect sense," the king sighed. He raised an eyebrow. "And was he?"
"No, your majesty," Maria reported. "I will also add I saw no trace or evidence of it in the castle so far, save for the sensation from that particular part of the castle."
"Well, that's good to know," King Artorias said. "And my son?"
"When I saw he was not being influenced, I naturally assumed he'd finally gone insane from his genius being too much for his mind to handle—" Maria broke off as the King started laughing in a way very like his youngest son. From behind him, through the partially ajar rotating false wall that led into the Prime Minister's office, a sound that sounded like Sophia's cackling in a masculine voice vaguely reminiscent of Lord Ascart could be heard.
Maria waited patiently as her liege, the overhearing Prime Minister, and various secretaries in both offices laughed.
"Ahem," King Artorias coughed eventually. "Continue, my knight."
"I naturally assumed the Third Prince had gone insane," Maria continued, and waited as the king snickered. "However, after some conversation, the Third Prince revealed he was undergoing political difficulties, and was thus preoccupied as a result."
"Political difficulties? Him?" King Artorias exclaimed in confusion. "Who could he possibly be having difficulties with that he just can't audit, investigate or exile away?"
"Duchess Claes," Maria said.
"Ah. That'll do it. I told Alan to tell him to ask for the duchess's permission, but in hindsight I might have been too subtle about it," the king sighed. "What then?"
"I believe the Third Prince has decided on a course of action that will both break the stalemate upon his soul and not result in civil war," Maria said. "However, I cannot guarantee it. It IS the Third Prince, after all."
"Yes, it is," the king said. "Well, thank you for your concern for my son, my knight. I'm glad he has a friend like you." There was a shift, and suddenly the king was all business. "You are aware of the International Assembly that is coming?"
"Yes, your majesty," Maria said.
"In addition to the order for nightflower displays on the nights of the Assembly, I would also like your personal attendance as my knight," King Artorias said. "Each ruler by tradition brings a trusted knight to watch their back during discussions and to accompany them to the banquets that will occur after the meetings. In decades past, General Solcrista performed that function, but with your knighting, he now has an excuse to step back and concentrate on security. You will guard my person and, if necessary, advise me. You might even be called to participate in the discussion by being addressed directly." The king hesitated. "If you were anyone else, I'd tell you demure from answering, but given your academic accomplishments, not to mention what my sons' have related about you, I will trust your judgement as to how and what to reply."
A heavy burden. "I am honored by your trust, your majesty," Maria said, bowing. "I will strive to be worthy of it."
"I know. I'm sorry." The king gave an almost sad smile. "You will need to be housed temporarily in the castle for the duration, and will need appropriate attire for the banquets. Will this present any difficulty?"
Maria considered. "Are you aware if Lady Sophia Ascart is to be among our noble representatives to this event?"
"No, she will not be," King Artorias said. "Only her brother."
Maria nodded. Pimping Lord Ascart to other countries for a beneficial union was a good idea, thought it risked a bidding war, with equal chances it be literal instead of merely figurative. It WAS Nicol Ascart, after all. "I see. Then I'm sure I can make the necessary arrangements for her to oversee the Arsenal Workshop for the duration."
"Good," the king said. "As to the Arsenal Workshop, please give me a report as to any delays from the recent storm."
"We are fortunate that the most recent delivery of raw materials occurred just before the storm," Maria said. "Combined with Lord Keith Claes' exemplary work on the structures of the manufactories, some work was able to continue during the storm. Thus, we are still well within schedule. Delivery of the first batch of weapons will push through before the assembly, and I will have enough time to sufficiently retrain the knights to be issued the weapons in their use in combined armament fighting."
"Excellent my knight," King Artorias said. "Send the officially report on this as soon as you can."
"As you command, my king," Maria said, then paused. Then she sighed. "Ah, my king, if I may be so bold…?"
"Yes?"
"Do you know a good tax lawyer?"
The king blinked. "You need a tax lawyer? Why?"
"I need a way to be able to note down the women under my protection as dependents, are they are too old to be legally classed as wards," Maria said.
"Oh, I can help you with that," the king said. "You don't even need a lawyer."
Maria frowned. Ah, how to tell her king she wasn't trying to get any favoritism, just some advice…
"It's simple, you can just put them down as concubines," King Artorias said helpfully. "I remember because the old king put it down as part of the tax code, and I thought it was silly. But the legal definition of a concubine is very lax, so they should fit in... as long as you don't mind publically declaring you have concubines, anyway. Most people don't do it, since their spouse can use it to sue for divorce…"
Sometimes Maria wanted to cry, she really did.